A fairy tale....

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale [2008-04-06]
This one's for the single gals! Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said: 'NO!' And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, ate chocolate, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the heck she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. THE END

The "B" Fairy! (May be offensive, but it's funny!) [2008-03-04]
http://www.jibjab.com/view/103941 Click View It.

A fairy tale.... [2008-01-21]
One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who did not whine, nag, and bit........ But this was a long time ago..... and it was just ONE day. The End

A Fairy Tale [2007-10-06]
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little: Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't friggin’ think so.....

3 girls meet the fairy.....nm [2006-08-02]
Three Girls Meet The Fairy A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells Eagle! She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out Salmon! She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is, at this point, so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics. Crap!

Children - Through Their Eyes! [2007-12-27]
Today's Funnies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Children: Through Their Eyes NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! DISCLAIMER On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents. HEINZ 57A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. It's the minister, mommy, the child said to her mother. Then she said to the minister, Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now, she's hitting the bottle. MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a little boy before?THE ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, The tooth fairy will never believe this! HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few weeks ago. DADDY'S TUX A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit. And why not, darling? asked the dad.You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning, replied the girl. DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .. and into the hole he gooooes. SCHOOL DAYSA little girl had just finished her first week of school. I'm just wasting my time, she said to her mother. I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. Mama, look what I found, the boy called out. What have you got there, dear? asked the mom. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, I think it's Adam's underwear.

A Fairy Tale [2007-10-06]
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little: Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't friggin’ think so.....

Louisiana ghost story [2007-09-28]
LouisianaGhoststoryThishappenedaboutamonthagojustoutsideofBourg,alittletowninthebayoucountryofLouisiana,andwhileitsoundslikeanAlfredHitchcocktale,it'sreal. Thisoutofstatetravelerwasonthesideoftheroad,hitchhikingonarealdarknightinthemiddleofathunderstorm.Timepassedslowlyandnocarswentby.Itwasrainingsohardhecouldhardlyseehishandinfrontofhisface. Suddenlyhesawacarmovingslowly,approachingandappearingghostlikeintherain.Itslowlyandsilentlycrepttowardhimandstopped.Wantingariderealbadtheguyjumpedinthecarandclosedthedoor;onlythendidherealizethattherewasnobodybehindthewheel,andnosoundofanenginetobeheardovertherain. Againthecarcreptslowlyforwardandtheguywasterrified,tooscaredtothinkofjumpingoutandrunning.Theguysawthatthecarwasapproachingasharpcurveand,stilltooscaredtojumpout,hestartedtoprayandbeggingforhislife;hewassuretheghostcarwouldgoofftheroadandinthebayouandhewouldsurelydrown!Butjustbeforethecurveashadowyfigureappearedatthedriver'swindowandahandreachedinandturnedthes teeringwheel,guidingthecarsafelyar oundthebend.Then,justassilently,thehanddisappearedthroughthewindowandthehitchhikerwasaloneagain! Paralyzedwithfear,theguywatchedthehandreappeareverytimetheyreachedacurve.Finallytheguy,scaredtoneardeath,hadallhecouldtakeandjumpedoutofthecarandrantotown.Wetandinshock,hewentintoabarandvoicequavering,orderedtwoshotsofwhiskey,thentoldeverybodyabouthissupernaturalexperience. Asilenceenvelopedandeverybodygotgoosebumpswhentheyrealizedtheguywastellingthetruth(andnotjustsomedrunk).Abouthalfanhourlatertwoguyswalkedintothebarandonesaystotheother,LookBoudreaux,dersdaidiatthatrodeinourcarwhenwewuzpushinitindarain.

3 girls meet the fairy.....nm [2006-08-02]
Three Girls Meet The Fairy A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells Eagle! She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out Salmon! She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is, at this point, so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics. Crap!