A womans prayer and a mans prayer

A womans prayer and a mans prayer [2008-02-17]
A WOMAN'S LOVE POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to how big is my behind? I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. A MAN'S LOVE POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh^t.

Evening Prayer [2007-06-14]
Now I lay me Down to sleep I pray the Lord My shape to keep Please no wrinkles Please no bags And please lift my butt Before it sags Please no age spots Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away. Please keep me healthy Please keep me young, And thank you Dear Lord For all that you've done. Five tips for a woman.... 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you. 5. It is important that these four men don't know each other. Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: If we don't get Some support soon, people will think we're nuts.

Grandma still drives !! [2008-08-27]
GRANDMA STILL DRIVES!!! Grandma's letter. She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her owncar. She writes:Dear Grand-daughter,The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honkif you love Jesus' bumper sticker.I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from athrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thoughtabout the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light hadchanged.It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked,I'd never have noticed.I found that lots of people love Jesus!While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, andthen he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!''Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!Everyone started honking!I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all thoseloving people.I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard himyelling something about a sunny beach.I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuckup in the air.I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the windowand gave him the good luck sign right back.My grandson burst out laughing.Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment thatthey got out of their cars and started walking towards me.I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is whenI noticed the light had changed.So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove onthrough the intersection.I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersectionbefore the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leavethem after all the love we had shared.So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all theHawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lordfor such wonderful folks!!Will write again soon,Love, Grandma

Old post I just read! Hope it's okay to copy it and repost it! Funny! [2008-01-03]
Accidentally found this and I can't stop laughing! I hope it's okay to copy and post it again for those of you that have forgotten it or have never seen it! Too funny! Too Cute [2007-05-09] A visiting minister spoke eloquently during the offertory prayer. Dear Lord, he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, without you we are but dust... He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening carefully for a change!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, Mom, what is butt dust?

Children - Through Their Eyes! [2007-12-27]
Today's Funnies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Children: Through Their Eyes NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! DISCLAIMER On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents. HEINZ 57A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. It's the minister, mommy, the child said to her mother. Then she said to the minister, Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now, she's hitting the bottle. MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a little boy before?THE ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, The tooth fairy will never believe this! HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few weeks ago. DADDY'S TUX A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit. And why not, darling? asked the dad.You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning, replied the girl. DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .. and into the hole he gooooes. SCHOOL DAYSA little girl had just finished her first week of school. I'm just wasting my time, she said to her mother. I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. Mama, look what I found, the boy called out. What have you got there, dear? asked the mom. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, I think it's Adam's underwear.

Scrabble - clever! [2007-12-23]
Scrabble This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in awhile.Someone out there either has too muchSpare time or is deadly at Scrabble.(Wait till you see the last one)!DORMITORY:When you rearrange the letters:DIRTY ROOMPRESBYTERIAN:When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYERASTRONOMER:When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARERDESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:A ROPE ENDS ITTHE EYES: !When you rearrange the letters:THEY SEEGEORGE BUSH:When you rearrange the letters:HE BUGS GORETHE MORSE CODE :When you rearrange the letters:HERE COME DOTSSLOT MACHINES:When you rearrange the letters:CASH LOST IN MEANIMOSITY:When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITYELECTION RESULTS:When you rearrange the letters:LIES - LET'S RECOUNTSNOOZE ALARMS:When you rearrange the letters:ALAS! NO MORE Z 'SA DECIMAL POINT:When you rearrange the letters:I'M A DOT IN PLACETHE EARTHQUAKES:When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKEELEVEN PLUS TWO:When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONEAND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:MOTHER-IN-LAW:When you rearrange the letters:WOMAN HITLERYep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaayToo much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law).Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!!DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS

The Best Way to Pray [2007-12-23]
The Best Way To Pray A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray, the priest said.No, said the minister. I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.You're both wrong, the guru said. The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor.The repairman could contain himself no longer. Hey, fellas, he interrupted. The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole.

Politically correct Christmas [2007-12-08]
Christmas Party Announcement* *FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 8, 2006* *RE: Christmas Party*I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 22, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should cost more than $10.00 to make it easier for everyone's pockets. Our CEO will make a special announcement. This gathering is for employees only!Merry Christmas to you and your family, Patty*FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 10, 2006* *RE: Holiday Party*In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah's is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our Holiday Party. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no presents. No Christmas carol sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.Happy now???Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty*FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 13, 2006* *RE: Holiday Party*Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, AA Only; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.How am I supposed to handle this?Somebody?Forget about the gifts exchange; no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little too chintzy.NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.Patty*FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 14, 2006* *RE: Holiday Party*What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during the daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything for you to take home in a little foil doggy baggy.Will that work?Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the Gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed, though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food - we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruit as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply No Sugar desserts. Sorry!Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty*FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All F---king Employees* *DATE: November 15, 2006* *RE: the F---king Holiday Party*Vegetarian pukes - I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the grill of death, as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your stinking salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right NOW!I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die!!!The B..... from HADES!!!!!!!!*FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 16, 2006* *RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party*I'm sure I speak for all of us wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery in the unit and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel the Holiday Party.Happy Holidays! Joan THE SENILITY PRAYER Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Sixty years of marriage [2007-11-06]
Sixty Years of Marriage: A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he ope ned it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents . When we were to be married, she said, my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll. The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. Honey, he said, that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from? Oh, she said, that's the money I made from selling the dolls. A Prayer....... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death, because I don't know how to crochet

RNC convention agenda [2007-09-30]
Republican National Convention Schedule06:00 pm - Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell 06:30 pm - Pledge of Allegiance 06:35 pm - Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment) 06:45 pm - Salute to the Coalition of the Willing 06:46 pm - Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment 07:30 pm - First Presidential Beer Bash for Bush 07:35 pm - Serve Freedom Fries 07:40 pm - EPA Address #1: Mercury: how to ignore the 14 states litigating against the U.S. government 07:50 pm - William Safire on the dangers of non-Protestant religion 08:00 pm - Vote on which country to invade next 08:05 pm - Trent Lott recognizes/salutes the KKK contingent 08:10 pm - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh 08:15 pm - John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children 08:30 pm - Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only) 08:50 pm - Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future 09:00 pm - Condi Rice sings Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man 09:05 pm - Second Presidential Beer Bash for Bush 09:10 pm - EPA Address #2: Trees: the real cause of forest fires 09:15 pm - Roundtable discussion on the best way to bankrupt the federal government. 09:30 pm - Break for secret meetings 09:35 pm - Cheney on why we must invade Canada and find their weapons of mass destruction. 10:00 pm - Second prayer led by Pat Robertson 10:15 pm - Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy 10:30 pm - Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho 10:35 pm - Bush demonstration of his trademark deer in the headlights stare 10:40 pm - John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt 10:45 pm - Clarence Thomas takes a minute to read the list of black republicans 10:46 pm - Third Presidential Beer Bash for Bush 10:50 pm - Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy 11:10 pm - Hillary Clinton Pi�ata 11:20 pm - Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists -- the dangerous new cult 11:30 pm - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again 11:35 pm - Blame Clinton 11:40 pm - Laura serves milk and cookies 11:45 pm - Pass the hat for the Kenny Lay Defense Fund 11:50 pm - Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself 12:00 am - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Leader

2008 DNC schedule of events [2007-09-12]
2008 DNC Schedule of Events 7:00 pm~ Opening flag burning. 7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N. 7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. 7:45 pm ~Ceremonial tree hugging. 7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 8:00 pm ~ How I invented the internet. - Al Gore 8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning. - Barney Frank presiding. 8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 8:40 pm ~ Our troops are War Criminals. - John Kerry 9:00 pm ~ Memorial sere for Saddam and his sons. - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon. 10:00 pm ~ Answering MachineEtiquette. - Alec Baldwin 11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund. - Barbra Streisand 11:15 pm ~ Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay. - Sean Penn 11:30 pm ~ Oval Office Affairs. - William Jefferson Clinton 11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 11:50 pm ~ How George Bush brought down the World Trade Towers. - Howard Dean Rosie O'Donald 12:15 pm ~ Truth in Broadcasting Award - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore 12:25 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 12:35 pm ~Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. 12:45 pm ~ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi 1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 1:05 am ~ Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton. 1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.

Graveside services. [2007-08-31]
As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour Late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say Amen, Praise the Lord, and Glory! I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached before: From Genesis all the way to Revelations. I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.

the best... [2007-06-14]
...this is the funniest thing I've seen on MTstars...from a guy...my prayer is more miles and smiles with better exercise.

Too Cute [2007-05-09]
A visiting minister spoke eloquently during the offertory prayer. Dear Lord, he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, without you we are but dust... He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening carefully for a change!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, Mom, what is butt dust?

Your normal holiday party these days and times..... [2006-12-16]
*Christmas Party Announcement* *FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 8, 2006* *RE: Christmas Party*I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 22, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should cost more than $10.00 to make it easier for everyone's pockets. Our CEO will make a special announcement. This gathering is for employees only!Merry Christmas to you and your family, Patty*FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 10, 2006* *RE: Holiday Party*In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah's is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our Holiday Party. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no presents. No Christmas carol sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.Happy now???Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty*FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 13, 2006* *RE: Holiday Party*Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, AA Only; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.How am I supposed to handle this?Somebody?Forget about the gifts exchange; no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little too chintzy.NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.Patty*FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 14, 2006* *RE: Holiday Party*What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during the daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything for you to take home in a little foil doggy baggy.Will that work?Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the Gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed, though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food - we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruit as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply No Sugar desserts. Sorry!Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty*FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director* *TO: All F---king Employees* *DATE: November 15, 2006* *RE: the F---king Holiday Party*Vegetarian pukes - I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the grill of death, as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your stinking salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right NOW!I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die!!!The B.....from H.....!!!!!!!*FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director* *TO: All Employees* *DATE: November 16, 2006* *RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party*I'm sure I speak for all of us wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery in the unit and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel the Holiday Party.Happy Holidays! Joan THE SENILITY PRAYER Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

The history of health care [2005-12-04]
The history of health care: 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic doesn't work anymore. Here, eat this root.