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You might be a transcriptionist if: [2008-01-03]
You might be a medical Transcriptionist if/when:
The last book you read on vacation was a diagnostic guide to tendon injuries.
Someone yells duck and you start typing d-U-c-t in midair.
You start correcting people's grammar mistakes in a chat room dedicated to discussing movies and TV shows.
You know your gluteus maximus from your olecranon process.
Your favorite 3 words are end of dictation.
You refer to making your holiday turkey as prepping and draping in the usual fashion.
You guess the outcome of CSI in the first 5 minutes of the show after hearing the (not-so-mysterious) mysterious cause of death.
You can't go into a doctor's office without asking the receptionist Who does your medical transcription? or commenting to your own doctor that you think he's a bad dictator and you feel sorry for the MT working for him.
Your doctor tells you that you have a problem with your back but doesn't want to confuse you with the details and you ask him -- Were sagittal and coronal T1-weighted images performed and T2- and proton density-weighted images also obtained?
You think percussion is something that belongs more in a medical report than in a rock band.
You say to your honey, skip the flowers and chocolate for my birthday and get me the latest version of Stedman's Medical and Pharma spellchecker.
You offer your landscaper 7 cents per line of grass for mowing your lawn.
You press the left pedal in your car and you're surprised when the car doesn't go into reverse.
Your neighbor comes to you to make a diagnosis based on a series of symptoms and advise them on whether to have surgery or not. (you refuse of course LOL)
Your favorite quote is Acronyms bad, verbose originators good.
You can fix stuck keys on your computer keyboard by turning it upside down and banging out the crumbs.
You have a Mr. Coffee within arm's reach of your desk. The first place your husband and children look for you is at your desk rather than in the kitchen.
Your husband and children wave their hand between your face and the computer screen to get your attention.
You can fold laundry while sitting at your desk and listening to the latest dictator who speaks 5 words in 60 seconds... and still changes his mind 4 times on exactly how to put it.
You step on people's feet to get them to repeat what they just said.
You have a bladder capacity of more than a quart.
You have a bookshelf by your desk in which no two books are the same color.
Your dream is to someday have every book Stedman's makes.
Your wrist rest has food spots on it.
No one who doesn't know how to touch type can use your computer keyboard because at least half the keys have the letters worn off.
Your friends have to learn your macro names in order to read your emails to them.
Your husband and children have to learn your macro names in order to read the notes you write them.
You are the only one in your family who can understand the clerks at the 7-11.
You find watching only one TV screen at a time boring.
You correct the pharmacist's spelling.
It aggravates you that the keys on the telephone keypad are in a different order than the keys on the 10-key pad on your computer keyboard.
You have a mini refrigerator sitting next to your computer tower.
More than half the icons on your desktop have to do with drugs or dictionaries.
There are more coffee cups in your office than there are in the kitchen.
You have your Mr. Coffee plugged in to your UPS (battery backup).
Your friends want you to go to their doctor appointments with them so you can act as an interpreter.
You go to the doctor with your spouse who tells the doctor, She's a medical transcriptionist so I'll let her tell you what's wrong with me. To this, the doctor replies, OK...would you prefer to tell me or do you want to type it?
You flip back and forth between work and newsgroups.
You watch television commercials for prescription drugs very closely to see what the generic form is and how both are spelled.
You get an invitation to something that specifies work attire and you wonder if that means fluffy slippers, flip flops - or if it would be okay to show up barefoot.
You go to start the car to go to the grocery store and find the battery is dead. You don't know how long it's been dead.
You might be a transcriptionist if: [2008-01-03]
You might be a medical Transcriptionist if/when:
The last book you read on vacation was a diagnostic guide to tendon injuries.
Someone yells duck and you start typing d-U-c-t in midair.
You start correcting people's grammar mistakes in a chat room dedicated to discussing movies and TV shows.
You know your gluteus maximus from your olecranon process.
Your favorite 3 words are end of dictation.
You refer to making your holiday turkey as prepping and draping in the usual fashion.
You guess the outcome of CSI in the first 5 minutes of the show after hearing the (not-so-mysterious) mysterious cause of death.
You can't go into a doctor's office without asking the receptionist Who does your medical transcription? or commenting to your own doctor that you think he's a bad dictator and you feel sorry for the MT working for him.
Your doctor tells you that you have a problem with your back but doesn't want to confuse you with the details and you ask him -- Were sagittal and coronal T1-weighted images performed and T2- and proton density-weighted images also obtained?
You think percussion is something that belongs more in a medical report than in a rock band.
You say to your honey, skip the flowers and chocolate for my birthday and get me the latest version of Stedman's Medical and Pharma spellchecker.
You offer your landscaper 7 cents per line of grass for mowing your lawn.
You press the left pedal in your car and you're surprised when the car doesn't go into reverse.
Your neighbor comes to you to make a diagnosis based on a series of symptoms and advise them on whether to have surgery or not. (you refuse of course LOL)
Your favorite quote is Acronyms bad, verbose originators good.
You can fix stuck keys on your computer keyboard by turning it upside down and banging out the crumbs.
You have a Mr. Coffee within arm's reach of your desk. The first place your husband and children look for you is at your desk rather than in the kitchen.
Your husband and children wave their hand between your face and the computer screen to get your attention.
You can fold laundry while sitting at your desk and listening to the latest dictator who speaks 5 words in 60 seconds... and still changes his mind 4 times on exactly how to put it.
You step on people's feet to get them to repeat what they just said.
You have a bladder capacity of more than a quart.
You have a bookshelf by your desk in which no two books are the same color.
Your dream is to someday have every book Stedman's makes.
Your wrist rest has food spots on it.
No one who doesn't know how to touch type can use your computer keyboard because at least half the keys have the letters worn off.
Your friends have to learn your macro names in order to read your emails to them.
Your husband and children have to learn your macro names in order to read the notes you write them.
You are the only one in your family who can understand the clerks at the 7-11.
You find watching only one TV screen at a time boring.
You correct the pharmacist's spelling.
It aggravates you that the keys on the telephone keypad are in a different order than the keys on the 10-key pad on your computer keyboard.
You have a mini refrigerator sitting next to your computer tower.
More than half the icons on your desktop have to do with drugs or dictionaries.
There are more coffee cups in your office than there are in the kitchen.
You have your Mr. Coffee plugged in to your UPS (battery backup).
Your friends want you to go to their doctor appointments with them so you can act as an interpreter.
You go to the doctor with your spouse who tells the doctor, She's a medical transcriptionist so I'll let her tell you what's wrong with me. To this, the doctor replies, OK...would you prefer to tell me or do you want to type it?
You flip back and forth between work and newsgroups.
You watch television commercials for prescription drugs very closely to see what the generic form is and how both are spelled.
You get an invitation to something that specifies work attire and you wonder if that means fluffy slippers, flip flops - or if it would be okay to show up barefoot.
You go to start the car to go to the grocery store and find the battery is dead. You don't know how long it's been dead.
The sky is falling! The sky is falling! [2007-01-24]
I have three jobs. I am over worked, and under paid. But as MTs aren't we all?
So today, Iwas trying to decide which single one job I could keep and make prosperous, but in the end I have decided none of them are any good. I'll knock doors and sell candy apples if I have to. . . . certainly would be more fun!
I just can't take thesecompanies serious anymore. They are much like geese in a hailstorm, running around the barnyard screaming, The sky is falling, the sky is falling! It's all your fault you @!#$ transcriptionist.
Meanwhile, I take very little serious anymore, having worked in a job where someone actually dies when you do not do a good job. After all, by comparison to that, everything else pales in it's degree of urgency. I try to explain to them, Look doofus, the sky is not falling. That was an acorn that bonked you on the head. Stay out from under the oak tree and you won't get bopped in your noggin.
I am calm in these drama queenemergencies.
Besides, a failure for the dictator to provide me with clear, concise, comprehendible dictation that I can transcribe, and a failure for the company I work for to have sufficient Quality Assurance people does not constitute an obligation or an emergency on my part. That's what they fail to understand. I have attitude. Remember I have not had a raise in 10+ years,in fact, I've had them cut my pay by making me type free stuff.
You are under the misguided opinion that Icare. Remember, I am a glorified typist without the benefit of a medical school education. Don't even try to pass your crisis to me, it's not my problem. I do the best I can with the skill I have. Your crisis is not my emergency. Are we clear?
Let 'em fire me, I could care. I will find another job. I have good job skills. Hopefully, it will be a better job without all the Chinese firedrill, and hailstone emergencies where I have to wear a hard hatas a safety measureto transcribe.
I always liked that one -- /sm [2006-01-01]
I used type for a urologist whose name was Hugh Dick. (I kid you not - both specialty and name are real.) One day, I had a mental block and typed first name as Huge. -- thank goodness, another Transcriptionist was tearing reports that day and saw the signature line!!!
WATCH OUT WHAT YOU SAY! [2005-11-18]
lol, I had just transcribed my first 3 reports of the day...all very difficult dictators, ESL, whisperer, mumbler. I decided to go get out of my jammies. As I come back down the hall, and I see my husband at the end of the hall, I decide to let off a little steam and be a little goofy. I start singing, loudly, to the tune of Where have all the Flowers Gone
WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD DICTATORS GONE,
LONG TIME PASSING,
WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD DICTATORS GONE,
LONG TIME AGOooooooooo
As I proceed down the hall, in the back of my mind, I am wondering why hubby has this odd expression on his face.......and he is not laughing.........
As I got to the end of the hall where my husband was standing, and turn the corner, I see the wide-open front door and the woman police officer there (to inquire about our elderly neighbor). STOPPED DEAD IN MY TRACKS! Then with an embarrassed smile, I told her I hoped she didn't mind me being a little crazy, that I was a medical Transcriptionist and just had some difficult dictators. She gave me a suspicious half smile, but told me she understood...she has to dictate too. I told her she had better be sure to do a good job because you can see the results if you DON'T!! She smiled and said they tell her she does a good job.
I guess this is one I will file away under most embarrassing moments.
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