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Pictures in space of NASA mission! Great pics! [2008-03-09]
http://www.texasjim.com/NASApix/NASA%20pix.htm
fantastic pictures [2008-01-30]
Big Blue Angels fan. Thanks for posting this!!!!!
I swear those pictures were on there when I last looked! Sorry! [2008-01-24]
Glad to email them to you. If you request them, please tell me you want grandparents and send your regular email address.
I've tried some that come from here but won't let me return email.
Did the pictures load for most of you? I see them, but do you? [2008-01-23]
Some of you let me know so that these posts are not disappointing to you and me too.
Work (Funny - pictures with it!) [2008-01-22]
Hope these pictures come up for you and move after I post them! Just got it in my e-mail and have to share it!
Have a great day!
Do you feel like working today?Tomorrow?The day after?Next week?Next Month?Me neither!I just want to party!
Old Ain't For Sissies - If pictures don't post, I'll repost another time [2008-01-22]
Why am I getting more and more of these old age Emails?
Old Ain't For Sissies!!
An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away.
A gentleman approached her said, Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady. But I need my hands to hold onto my hat.
But madam, he said, you must know that you're derriere is exposed!
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!
Grandparents! (with pictures) Something nice! [2008-01-20]
GRANDPARENTS
Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret Grandmothers are just 'antique' little girls. ~Author Unknown Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies.. ~Author unknown Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~ Hannah Whithall Smith It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown Grandchildren are nature’s way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida . ~Dave Barry I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown If your baby is 'beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,' you're the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are nature’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. ~G. Norman Collie
pictures not showing up.........for me... [2006-11-28]
Wow! Watertown, NY snow! 2008? [2008-03-09]
http://www.fourwinds10.com/siterun_data/spiritual/pictures/news.php?q=1204920443
Rookie the Dancing Dog [2008-02-21]
That's Rookie and Carolyn. They are a fantastic pair.
Rookie is getting up there in years. On January 9 he was 15!! For a golden, he's getting old.
A few weeks back Carolyn posted asking our prayers that Rookie heal. The golden community went into full force with good wishes and prayers. Well, something sure worked! While Rookie isn't back to being to dance,for a dog his age he's doing well and that's all that matters.
Here is one fantastic page you should look at:
http://gottadance.landofpuregold.com/
Rookie the Dancing Dog [2008-02-21]
That's Rookie and Carolyn. They are a fantastic pair.
Rookie is getting up there in years. On January 9 he was 15!! For a golden, he's getting old.
A few weeks back Carolyn posted asking our prayers that Rookie heal. The golden community went into full force with good wishes and prayers. Well, something sure worked! While Rookie isn't back to being to dance,for a dog his age he's doing well and that's all that matters.
Here is one fantastic page you should look at:
http://gottadance.landofpuregold.com/
The "Middle Wife" (Comedy) [2008-02-11]
The Middle Wife by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going , 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh! ' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had ! this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew! This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Middle Wife comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
The "Middle Wife" (Comedy) [2008-02-11]
The Middle Wife by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going , 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh! ' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had ! this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew! This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Middle Wife comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
The "Middle Wife" [2008-02-09]
The Middle Wife by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going , 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh! ' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had ! this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew! This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Middle Wife comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
The "Middle Wife"! [2008-02-09]
The Middle Wife by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going , 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh! ' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had ! this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew! This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Middle Wife comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
The "Middle Wife" [2008-02-09]
The Middle Wife by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going , 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh! ' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had ! this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew! This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Middle Wife comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
The "Middle Wife"! [2008-02-09]
The Middle Wife by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going , 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh! ' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had ! this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew! This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Middle Wife comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
Old people doin' it. [2008-02-05]
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' 'Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' 'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' 'Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The Policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing; I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must have had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
A bunch of red Xs [2008-01-23]
All the pictures just have the no pic available placeholder. If you are directly copying and pasting from your emails that would be the problem. The pictures don't stay with the copying, but the HTML and address where they were located does. All the pics are coming from:h*ttp:/*/us.f622.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download/us/ShowLet*ter?. Which I assume is your email account and we cannot access that. Make sense?
(the asterices in the HTML are an attempt to let the address show itself rather than running the code on the forum, they can be removed for the true address).
Work (Funny - pictures with it!) [2008-01-22]
Hope these pictures come up for you and move after I post them! Just got it in my e-mail and have to share it!
Have a great day!
Do you feel like working today?Tomorrow?The day after?Next week?Next Month?Me neither!I just want to party!
I am so sorry. I look at these after I post [2008-01-22]
and they came up when I went back to Comedy Stop and clicked on them. This one with monkeys are showing up for me. Maybe there is a computer guru out there that can help me out. I get so many of these cute e-mails, I like to share them and make you laugh at one of them anyway!! I'ss see if I can find this one on the web and post a copy and paste web site!
I noticed the one for Having a bad day? didn't come up. That makes me mad. I thought the pictures were showing up on all of them now.
From my friend down under [2007-12-05]
Links to Christmas songs for all ..from A to Z..
Christmas songs ..
http://www.links2love.com/christmas_songs.htm
Nope, this is the Sears catalog. Here is a link [2007-11-26]
but you may have to cut and paste. I did not find the blogger's writing funny, but maybe that's just me. The pictures were a scream.
http://www.aperfectworld.org/page_one.htm
Pages from 1971 catalog. [2007-11-25]
The pictures are hilarious, sadly familiar to me - I remember all these UGLY, UGLY clothes, even though I was only 8 at the time. And my mom was making our ugly dresses and pantsuits to save money. The fabrics were just awful.
I see the skates they bought us were around $3.00. My Dad's bicycle is there too.
You MUST create a blog that [2007-11-06]
can handle all the pictures. By your description, it is hilarious. I'd love to see JC Penney's version of 1977 again. I remember looking at the catalogs of that time, and even at the time I wanted to advise them on what was cool. Um, another inch on those pants would be nice, HA! And seriously, who would wear those shoes??
I lived in WI in 1977. After that I moved to the SE, and styles were very different, so I guess it's not surprising I found the styles weird - maybe they were normal styles for the more style-conscious eastern states.
The "Middle Wife" [2007-10-30]
The Middle Wife by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kidsmyself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my ownsecond-grade classroom a few years back.When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a fewsessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness andusually,show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, modelairplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And Inever,ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want tolugit in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoingkid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with apillow stuffed under her sweater.She holds up a snapshot of an infant. This is Luke, my babybrother,and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate forninemonths through an umbrella cord.She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm tryingnotto laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids arewatching her in amazement.Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,
'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.
She walkedaround the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now
this kid is doinga hysterical duck walk and groaning.My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn'thave a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to liedown in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back againstthewall.And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there incasehe got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
likepsshhheew! This kid has her legs spread with her little handsmimingwater flowing away. It was too much!Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then,allof a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff thatthey all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lotoftoys inside there.Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to herseat.I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it'sshow-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case anotherMiddleWife comes along.Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass thisalong to someone else to spread the laughs.
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
The "Middle Wife" [2007-10-30]
The Middle Wife by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kidsmyself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my ownsecond-grade classroom a few years back.When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a fewsessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness andusually,show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, modelairplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And Inever,ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want tolugit in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoingkid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with apillow stuffed under her sweater.She holds up a snapshot of an infant. This is Luke, my babybrother,and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate forninemonths through an umbrella cord.She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm tryingnotto laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids arewatching her in amazement.Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,
'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.
She walkedaround the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now
this kid is doinga hysterical duck walk and groaning.My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn'thave a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to liedown in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back againstthewall.And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there incasehe got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
likepsshhheew! This kid has her legs spread with her little handsmimingwater flowing away. It was too much!Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then,allof a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff thatthey all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lotoftoys inside there.Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to herseat.I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it'sshow-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case anotherMiddleWife comes along.Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass thisalong to someone else to spread the laughs.
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
new meds [2007-10-22]
Yes, yes! Please send me an email with the pictures! These are great .. and I know so many people who coul duse them.
New Drugs! Comedy... [2007-10-18]
The pictures did not post with this. I would be glad to email it to anyone! Enjoy!
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to____ for up to 8 full
hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
lethal lines as, You make me want to be a better person.
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him.
Now, send these to any woman who needs a good laugh, and any man who
can handle it.
Breakdown [2007-06-14]
A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate
so she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.
She carefully steps out of the car and opens
the trunk. Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds
them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle
facing oncoming traffic,
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats
exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and
backed up. It wasn't long before a police car
arrives.
The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the
Blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, 'What is
going on here?'
'My car broke down, Officer' says the woman, calmly.
'Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard
pictures doing here by the road?' asks the Officer...
'Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!'
Another blonde joke! [2007-05-19]
A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.
She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, What is going on here? My car broke down, Officer says the woman, calmly. Well, what the he11 are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?! asks the Officer. Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers! she replied.
Classes for men - just a funny to give everyone a laugh for today! sm [2007-04-25]
Fall Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETEDBy Monday, Oct 30, 2007 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVELOF THEIR CONTENTS! , CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM . Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.Class 2The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.Class 5Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink.Is It possible! for a Male to Put Them in the Dishwasher? Examples on Video.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginningat 7:00 PM Class 6Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum.Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7! :00 PM for 2 hours.Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?Driving Simulations.4 weeks, Saturday Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14The Stove/Oven-- What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Love it! [2007-03-11]
I just can't believe the stuff that shows up on E-bay though!
I get these magazines called Country and Birds and Blooms and people are always submitting pictures of funny-looking veggies, mostly ones that look like animals or faces...but something tells me they wouldn't publish a picture of this 'hear carrot!
I would totally enter that into the local county fair though...or at least sneak it onto the display when no one was lookin' and just watch and see if any of the grannies noticed!
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