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Counseling with pastor? [2008-04-01]
There is a fine line between constant criticism and verbal abuse. I don For girls, you don For boys, you don I think it's great that you are about to start MT training and wish you all the best.
If you want to make things work with your husband, it seems like you may benefit from an objective third party. Your pastor This may be a good source to have someone to go to couples therapy with, especially if cost would be an issue which it sounds like with your husband. I would also sit and discuss your finances with your husband at some point. Not having access to household funds except through him is not responsible. If he were to have an accident and get laid up for awhile, how would you pay the bills? Just some things to think about.
I am going to urge you to get counseling soon. [2008-03-30]
Please don't take this the wrong way, but there are a number of things you have said in your posts that indicate you would benefit from speaking with a counselor. Especially, where you say that you have improved and then speak about not complaining ever and being very forgiving. You need to take care of yourself. There should be services that are either free or prorated in your area.
Also, you cannot make any relationship better by being the only one willing to change, especially when those changes are superficial.
first step [2008-06-14]
Brooke: I want to commend you on going to church and the strides you are making to show a good example. But that may not be quite enough. It sounds as if your husband has an inkling that he needs to make some changes . However, I do still think that the suggestion for martial counseling with your pastor is important. From some of you have said it does sound like there are a few more seriuos issues than him simply taking you for granted. You make it sound as if he is controlling all the fiances and your behavior and actions through that. Now I understand being frugal but you stated he can spend what he wants but you afraid to even ask for 20 dollars to joint a Momgood now. But remember, again you are to be viewed in terms of good or bad or imply you deserve certain treatment do to past mistakes. In the end you shoudl provide for your future. I think every woman does need a saftey plan for financial security. Working part-time would provide you money to buy some things for yourself and also to join group. You need social support. Right now you are essentially isolated other than your husband and family. What about joinign a MOPS group through church? I am not sure, but dont' think there is a charge. You need a group of supportive peole other than your husband. Keep going to church - maybe your husband might get into the men's minsitry. This could serve two-fold. He could see and model from Chrisian men how they interact aand also how they treat their wives. It would also give him a social outlet.
The two of you going out without kids is also good.
remember so a combinatin of things. One thing (such as date night or occasional church service) isn't going to work. Pray together. Have yourchurch family pray for you.
I undersatnd divorce is not an option. I salute your committment to your marriage but your husband has to be as committed. It cannot just be about YOU making changes. So pray for his change of heart and try to actively involve him.
YOu must communicate with him. Not yell, no walk on egg shells.
If you are afraid to talke to him why? Has he been abusive/ Were you abused in the past by someone? AGain if this the case you need immediate intervention.
Bottom line God asks men to love their wives but he did not say control their wives or belittle their wives. Women should suport and love their husbands as head of household but not be afraid of them or cower to them....
May I suggest as well [2008-05-01]
that you seek marriage counseling, AND fast. My 10 year marriage ended in 2006 because of the same situation, EXCEPT I was working full-time at home with 2 children a home as well and still was expected and told to do EVERYTHING......
Good Luck!!
Counseling with pastor? [2008-04-01]
There is a fine line between constant criticism and verbal abuse. I don For girls, you don For boys, you don I think it's great that you are about to start MT training and wish you all the best.
If you want to make things work with your husband, it seems like you may benefit from an objective third party. Your pastor This may be a good source to have someone to go to couples therapy with, especially if cost would be an issue which it sounds like with your husband. I would also sit and discuss your finances with your husband at some point. Not having access to household funds except through him is not responsible. If he were to have an accident and get laid up for awhile, how would you pay the bills? Just some things to think about.
I love my husband because he agreed to [2006-07-14]
marriage counseling so we can actually deal with a bunch of crap we've been through and repair the hurts and figure out how to make our marriage better. I also love him because he works hard, goes to school, cooks, works hard to make the house look nice (well, the OUTSIDE of it anyhow. He doesn't do housework), and because he cared for my Dad so wonderfully when he needed him to.
Oh, I know your struggles... [2006-07-14]
But, it really is not fair to him to expect him not to want your undivided attention when at home with you. I have a 3-year0old son and because there is such an age span between his siblings, it is like raising an only child, I thought it best to put him in at least part-time day care (3 days a week). Not only does he get the socialization that is so important at this age, but I do not feel guilty trying to work with him home and wanting my attention. Now I schedule my the majority of my days and hours with hi at day care. With you being frustrated and trying to make ends meet, I am sure you have lost your patience with him at times, not meaning to and him not understanding, I urge you to at least consider part-time day care or even someone to come in and entertain him while you work, possibly a high school girl or someone retired who has lots of energy and time to give.
Good luck to you!
Latest Drugs...... [2006-07-12]
*St. M o m's W o r t* Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
*E m p t y N e s t r o g e n* Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
*P e p t o b i m b o* Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
*D u m e r o l* When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q, causing enjoyment of country western music.
*F l i p i t o r* Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
*A n t i b o y o t i c s* When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
*M e n i c i l l i n* Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?
*B u y a g r a* Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
*Extra Strength Buy-One-all* When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr.Laura.
*J a c k A s s p i r i n* Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
*A n t i-t a l k s i d e n t* A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
*S e x c e d r i n* More effective than Excedrin in treating the, Not now, dear, I have a headache, syndrome.
*R a g a m e t* When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
* D a m i t o l* Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to he*ll for up to 8 hours
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