It sounds like he was this way before you were a SAHM,

Online Externship for SAHM/Navy wife [2008-07-04]
I am still a student in my MT program and I need to take an externship before I can graduate. Does anyone know of companies offering online/work from home externships?

SAHM wanting to work. [2008-05-15]
I currently work prn as a Radiology Transcriptionist and would like to contribute more to the family income by working from home doing this. I have applied to several places and on here and don't hear anything back. Whats the deal, and what do I have to do to get hired?

Sounds like his mother was this type of [2008-04-01]
wife/mother and that is all he knows. My ex was like that (his mom was SAHM and did absolutely everything) and he found out real quick that was not the real world, especially as I was working 40+ hours a week. I truly believe you both need to sit down and let each other know your expectations. Since this has been going on forever, it is going to take time for you both to come to some sort of compromise. You can only do so much before you run yourself into the ground. Then you are no good for anyone--him or your children. Plus, your kids need to know that if and when they have families, it takes 2 to run a household, not just the mom.

SAHM/WAHM and fairness, respect [2008-03-29]
I wouldn't call my position as a current SAHM terribly difficult. My toddler, while quite rowdy and misbehaved some days, is fairly content to entertain herself while I do housework. My newborn is a quiet one. My house is small and cleans rather quickly. There is a place for mostly everything, so there's not much clutter aside from my daughter's toys which migrate from her room to every other room in the house. I have to do laundry at my mother in law's because we don't have a washer/dryer, so my kids get to visit with their nana and papa while I wash the clothes. We have a fenced-in yard and there is a park two steps from my house so I don't have to pack the kids in the car to take them someplace to play. Some days I finish the housework so fast that I'm bored unless I'm creative and can find something for me and my toddler to do together (which is what I should be doing anyway). However, I do absolutely everything around my home, including on the weekends. My husband seems to think that because he works outside the home, he shouldnjust another bill. I take the girls to their wellness appointments. I change out the garbages. I keep up the garage and the yard. I check the mail. He puts our toddler to bed most nights because I'm nursing our newborn, but since he works late often I've been able to practice putting her to bed quickly enough so my newborn doesn't interrupt us by crying. He takes the garbage to the curb (most of the time). He's put the dishes away a handful of times. If I ask to go somewhere for some time alone, he'll watch our toddler for an hour or two (I don't ask for this often, but maybe I should?). He spends whatever he wants on computer games and fast food... I get nothing to spend on myself or the kids unless it's an absolute necessity. When I worked part time and was pregnant, I did everything. When I gave birth, he was forced to learn how to put our toddler to bed, so that's why he does that now. I try to sleep in but I can't with a toddler loose in the house and a hungry newborn. I'm feeling pretty run-down and lethargic lately, cooped up and lonely, insignificant and like I can't get anywhere. I'm about to start MT training and of course will still be expected to do everything around the house without any help and without any forgiveness should I miss something. I'm worried that even once I start working full time and the kids are in daycare, he's not going to lift a finger to help me out -- I'll have even less time after work to do all the chores on top of caring for the kids. I'm not looking forward to the arguments that will ensue if I fail to do the dishes one day or let the livingroom get a little cluttered. HeI better take care of that quick before he sees it as opposed to hey look there. one time when I was pregnant and started a valid argument with him about another topic, he resorted to pointing out my lack of housekeeping skills (which had nothing to do with the subject) in order to throw me off and upset me. I want to contribute to our household because we've been living off his income alone since January, but I feel that even working full time won't make him appreciate what I do for our children and our household. I am not ungrateful that he is our only income currently, but the only reason for this is because I just gave birth. Had I not done that, I would still be working right now, but there would still be an inequality in our relationship, and I don't know how much more I can take before I just shut down and shut him out completely. Any confrontation about how I feel leads to a shouting match and finger-pointing, so I just don't say anything at all. We just got married in October and I already see it going downhill if this continues. Any advice? How can I put it to him that I'm his wife and the mother of his children, not his 24-hour maid? That even though I'm not working, I still deserve respect and time to myself and a little money to spend on what I want? That when I am working, we need to split the chores because it's not just my house, it's his too? Or should I just repeat this whole last paragraph?

It sounds like he was this way before you were a SAHM, [2008-03-29]
and probably was this way before you married him. You cannot do everything yourself and you should not try. (He may not even know what he needs to do to help you and is just lashing out because he is stressed too.) You need to speak with him about this, but I'll leave that advice to others that have gone through similar situations. (I am a SMBC and do do everything myself, but I also do not have anyone complaining about my choice to fingerpaint with my child instead of scrubbing the floors.) In addition, maybe you can find a group of moms to get together with and socialize while the kids play, something like a Mommy and Me that would allow you to bring both your kids. Something that would get you out of the house where your kids would be safe and you could interact with other adults. You sound isolated and stressed. Just out of curiosity, what is/was his relationship with his mother like? Is she one of the do-everything for her family moms or did she delegate responsibility to her spouse and kids?

Sounds like you need to be the parent... [2008-01-29]
I have four children ranging in age from 19, 7, 5 and 3. All of my children, aside from the teenager, are in bed by 8:30 every night, not only for school, but because this is my time to catch up on work, spend time with husband or just unwinding. It's called a routine. If a two year old is wanting a movie during the night, something is wrong with the picture. You put them in bed and tell them that's where they are staying. Children will try to fuss, cry, temper trantrum their way out of anything, but if you let them know right from the start what you expect they will be happier and so will you.

It sounds as if [2008-01-28]
you have your hands full, but I bet you love every minute of it!

That sounds like the perfect schedule, but [2008-01-18]
It doesn't work for me. My daughter is in preshool and I work while she's gone for four hours then I take a break and work another 2 hours after my older one is home and then because I have another 2 hours to put in to make up my 8 hours a day and a second job I work from 9:00 p.m. until 4:00 a.m. I've been doing this for years. Whatever works for you may not work for another. Everyone has to get a schedule that works for them.

That's what it sounds like to me too [2007-08-30]
That's just crazy. I was in the hospital for a whole week and was no where near ready to go back to work. I don't know about her but my c-sections were painful and I could barely move for weeks.

It sounds like you are looking for support [2007-06-24]
it doesn But then again, if you are getting the $1000.00 a week from the father, that must have been what caught your eye, so maybe you could cut your hours back. It does sound like something will suffer either your work time, your own children, or the ones you are inheriting. I think you Would the father consider hiring a nanny to help you?

Hmm, sounds like a boy thing...have 3 myself, but little girls. THEY do things like sm [2007-06-12]
wash the hamster with my expensive shampoo, then blow-dry him....drop an apple in the toilet and flush Gotta love Keep breathing!

SAHM-Homeschools [2007-05-06]
I'm not exactly what you are looking for. I have been lurking on your boards quite awhile trying to decide if i'm ready to do MT or not. I am a SAHM who homeschools a 5th grader. I also have an 18m/o girl and i'm due in July with #3. Depending on the grade of your child there are alot of options out there. There are schools that are totally online w/ online teachers and students they can communicate with. Mine will be doing Calvert online academy next year and he's very excited. If you want anymore info on it let me know~! GL

Sounds just like me when I was a child. [2007-04-04]
I had a twin sister in the same room and everything. I remember one time I felt like ants were in my bed. My parents did not indulge my anxieties too much, but I did drag the cat into bed to protect me. Unfortunately, when he stretched out one paw I decided he was cuffing at ants in my bed, so he wasn't much help. I still don't like spiders, and had one crawl across my eyelashes for real one night. A couple of nights later, DH ended up with 2 spider bites on his forehead. But I digress. I would make a point to let her see you fixing the problem. I'd go around the house and use caulk and that expanding STUFF (an expanding caulk) to close up any cracks around fireplace, mantle, plumbing pipes, etc. If you live in a dry climate, you could spread diamateous earth (not the kind used for pools though) around the house. This is something that any hard-shelled bug/spider is killed by because it shreds their exoskeleton when they walk on it. But as soon as it rains it starts washing away. This stuff is harmless to pets and people except that you don't want to inhale it, so you would wear a mask while putting it out. Then you could tell her you had solved the problem of spiders/bugs getting into the house. I'd also try to help wear her out with exercise so natural relaxation can kick in at night. Good luck.

sounds about the time I started vomiting, mine wasn't morning sickness, just certain foods/smells [2006-11-10]
would trigger, and then learned to avoid them. Good luck and keep us posted!

Sounds like too much to me... [2006-09-22]
at that age, maybe only cereal. Feeding solids too soon can cause food allergies. JMHO, of course. I didn't start my babies on anything but cereal and maybe a little fruit mixed in, until they were at least 6 months old, and then very gradually. Baby needs formula or breastmilk more than anything for the first year really.

first step [2008-06-14]
Brooke: I want to commend you on going to church and the strides you are making to show a good example. But that may not be quite enough. It sounds as if your husband has an inkling that he needs to make some changes . However, I do still think that the suggestion for martial counseling with your pastor is important. From some of you have said it does sound like there are a few more seriuos issues than him simply taking you for granted. You make it sound as if he is controlling all the fiances and your behavior and actions through that. Now I understand being frugal but you stated he can spend what he wants but you afraid to even ask for 20 dollars to joint a Momgood now. But remember, again you are to be viewed in terms of good or bad or imply you deserve certain treatment do to past mistakes. In the end you shoudl provide for your future. I think every woman does need a saftey plan for financial security. Working part-time would provide you money to buy some things for yourself and also to join group. You need social support. Right now you are essentially isolated other than your husband and family. What about joinign a MOPS group through church? I am not sure, but dont' think there is a charge. You need a group of supportive peole other than your husband. Keep going to church - maybe your husband might get into the men's minsitry. This could serve two-fold. He could see and model from Chrisian men how they interact aand also how they treat their wives. It would also give him a social outlet. The two of you going out without kids is also good. remember so a combinatin of things. One thing (such as date night or occasional church service) isn't going to work. Pray together. Have yourchurch family pray for you. I undersatnd divorce is not an option. I salute your committment to your marriage but your husband has to be as committed. It cannot just be about YOU making changes. So pray for his change of heart and try to actively involve him. YOu must communicate with him. Not yell, no walk on egg shells. If you are afraid to talke to him why? Has he been abusive/ Were you abused in the past by someone? AGain if this the case you need immediate intervention. Bottom line God asks men to love their wives but he did not say control their wives or belittle their wives. Women should suport and love their husbands as head of household but not be afraid of them or cower to them....

Counseling with pastor? [2008-04-01]
There is a fine line between constant criticism and verbal abuse. I don For girls, you don For boys, you don I think it's great that you are about to start MT training and wish you all the best. If you want to make things work with your husband, it seems like you may benefit from an objective third party. Your pastor This may be a good source to have someone to go to couples therapy with, especially if cost would be an issue which it sounds like with your husband. I would also sit and discuss your finances with your husband at some point. Not having access to household funds except through him is not responsible. If he were to have an accident and get laid up for awhile, how would you pay the bills? Just some things to think about.

I'm stunned [2008-04-01]
I can And he does it because he gets away with it.I was a SAHM with 3 kids as well as other kids that Ibabysat. If my DH had EVER come home and pointed out that something wasnwellenough for him, he would

Sounds like his mother was this type of [2008-04-01]
wife/mother and that is all he knows. My ex was like that (his mom was SAHM and did absolutely everything) and he found out real quick that was not the real world, especially as I was working 40+ hours a week. I truly believe you both need to sit down and let each other know your expectations. Since this has been going on forever, it is going to take time for you both to come to some sort of compromise. You can only do so much before you run yourself into the ground. Then you are no good for anyone--him or your children. Plus, your kids need to know that if and when they have families, it takes 2 to run a household, not just the mom.

don't lose your sense of self... [2008-03-30]
Wow, I totally feel for you! Have you thought about writing him a letter - maybe something like what you just wrote to all of us.. maybe on paper he will see it a little clearer... and if not, honey I would STOP doing ALL of it! Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP remember and by the way, it's not 1950 anymore. It takes two to keep things going and him providing the source of income, although huge and I'm sure you are greatful - is not the only thing that defines a man as a husband or a dad for that matter. My husband and I both work, we both contribute financially, and actually, I made more then him last year - that said, us women/moms will always do more then them, my husband does help and he does share in most of the duties... he has too. In our early years together I once had to tell him that I wasn't his maid, cook or sex slave and that that if I was going to feel alone in our relationship, well, then ALONE is what I would be and his ass would be gone. Needless to say, he heard me loud and clear and while we work very hard everyday to keep our marriage strong, it is work on both of our parts. Your husband has to help more... he has to realize that the longer this goes on, the more you end up resenting him! and truly is this they way you want your children to see you for the next 20 years? Get out of the house, role pennies to get the $20 bucks to get into the local moms club... do it for yourself, it sounds like you need it! Keep you chin up and fight your hardest to get through to him!

SAHM/WAHM and fairness, respect [2008-03-29]
I wouldn't call my position as a current SAHM terribly difficult. My toddler, while quite rowdy and misbehaved some days, is fairly content to entertain herself while I do housework. My newborn is a quiet one. My house is small and cleans rather quickly. There is a place for mostly everything, so there's not much clutter aside from my daughter's toys which migrate from her room to every other room in the house. I have to do laundry at my mother in law's because we don't have a washer/dryer, so my kids get to visit with their nana and papa while I wash the clothes. We have a fenced-in yard and there is a park two steps from my house so I don't have to pack the kids in the car to take them someplace to play. Some days I finish the housework so fast that I'm bored unless I'm creative and can find something for me and my toddler to do together (which is what I should be doing anyway). However, I do absolutely everything around my home, including on the weekends. My husband seems to think that because he works outside the home, he shouldnjust another bill. I take the girls to their wellness appointments. I change out the garbages. I keep up the garage and the yard. I check the mail. He puts our toddler to bed most nights because I'm nursing our newborn, but since he works late often I've been able to practice putting her to bed quickly enough so my newborn doesn't interrupt us by crying. He takes the garbage to the curb (most of the time). He's put the dishes away a handful of times. If I ask to go somewhere for some time alone, he'll watch our toddler for an hour or two (I don't ask for this often, but maybe I should?). He spends whatever he wants on computer games and fast food... I get nothing to spend on myself or the kids unless it's an absolute necessity. When I worked part time and was pregnant, I did everything. When I gave birth, he was forced to learn how to put our toddler to bed, so that's why he does that now. I try to sleep in but I can't with a toddler loose in the house and a hungry newborn. I'm feeling pretty run-down and lethargic lately, cooped up and lonely, insignificant and like I can't get anywhere. I'm about to start MT training and of course will still be expected to do everything around the house without any help and without any forgiveness should I miss something. I'm worried that even once I start working full time and the kids are in daycare, he's not going to lift a finger to help me out -- I'll have even less time after work to do all the chores on top of caring for the kids. I'm not looking forward to the arguments that will ensue if I fail to do the dishes one day or let the livingroom get a little cluttered. HeI better take care of that quick before he sees it as opposed to hey look there. one time when I was pregnant and started a valid argument with him about another topic, he resorted to pointing out my lack of housekeeping skills (which had nothing to do with the subject) in order to throw me off and upset me. I want to contribute to our household because we've been living off his income alone since January, but I feel that even working full time won't make him appreciate what I do for our children and our household. I am not ungrateful that he is our only income currently, but the only reason for this is because I just gave birth. Had I not done that, I would still be working right now, but there would still be an inequality in our relationship, and I don't know how much more I can take before I just shut down and shut him out completely. Any confrontation about how I feel leads to a shouting match and finger-pointing, so I just don't say anything at all. We just got married in October and I already see it going downhill if this continues. Any advice? How can I put it to him that I'm his wife and the mother of his children, not his 24-hour maid? That even though I'm not working, I still deserve respect and time to myself and a little money to spend on what I want? That when I am working, we need to split the chores because it's not just my house, it's his too? Or should I just repeat this whole last paragraph?

nothing new yet, I am leaning on [2008-01-27]
Mya Avery for a girl, and Ryder for a boy, no definite middle name picked for him, possibly Kingston or Kensington though. My hubby likes Mya, but really likes Peyton. I thought of Peyton Mya, but doesn Just have yet to find anything else to top that.I understandsome people choose namesfor their meaning and all, but it is not like someone is going to say,Oh, Dylan, I like thatname-- means from the water. Not ONCE in my son I think it is kooky to choose solely based on the meaning... What sounds goodto us is what is important. Any other comments??!! Thanks for re-responding!!

Marion Claire, Jacqueline Ruth, Catherine Brigid, Emily, Rachel, Rebecca, Sarah, Hollis, Meryl [2008-01-18]
For boysRaydell (pronounced Ray-dale here in the south),Xavier (pronounced like savior). Whatabout Matthew, Mark, Luke or John,Christopher, Thomas, James, Andrew, Seth, Adam, Patrick, Sebastian? Whatever name you choose, practice screaming it out the back door to see if you like the way it sounds comin Good luck and short labor to ya!Cat

I was going to give the same exact advise as the other poster. [2008-01-08]
but I wasnreal job or that you cannot make good money, but you can if you believe in yourself. Your hubby sounds a little on the controlling side and I WAS married to that until I smartened up and got someone who is so supportive of me, well sometimes TOOO supportive. Hewhat are you up to? as in money because sometimes I can really kick ...you know what..Best of luck to you and DO NOT GIVE UP no matter what anyone has to say. Be successful in SPITE of them..Good luck.

I don't have kids, but it [2007-10-21]
sounds like you are doing a great job, and shouldn't feel guilty at all. My mom always said she would leave my sister and I in our cribs in the morning while she stayed in bed. She could hear us in there just singing ...

As long as she is isn't crying, I would say she is fine.... [2007-10-17]
I have a 8-1/2-year-old son and a 14-month-old daughter and my son stopped taking naps completely at 2 years old...and I am sure I will be in the same situation as you with my baby because she is getting to the point where she is tired but fights her naps...if she doesn't get her afternoon nap she is one cranky baby for the rest of the evening...good luck and it sounds like you are doing everything just fine....

what???? [2007-08-30]
Are you saying that someone should ONLY take a week for leave or more?? I'm confused by your post...it sounds like you are saying it is inexcusable for anyone to take more than a week off after a baby?? Am I reading that correctly???

Helpful info! [2007-07-25]
Thanks for the perspective! I am a sahm of 5 lovely children. Along with those kiddies come all the usual unexpected expenses, I was hoping the MT PT would be the way to go in helping to cover those expenses. If I could supplement my husbands income working either early mornings or late evenings while he's home or the kids sleep, that would be wonderful. Even $100/week would be helpful in my case. I am looking into Andrews right now, just concerned about paying the tuition...almost $4K is a chunk for us!! I'm worried about not being able to find work. I definitely feel duly warned.

try this one [2007-07-06]
Alpine Access sounds like a company worth checking out.

Did I miss [2007-07-02]
the link or just don't see it? Sounds like a great article, but don't see a link. Is it just me?

Interesting article [2007-07-01]
This article is about why meditation helps people. I thought it would be nice to share with this board because this talking about what you are feeling is something I once witnessed my SIL doing with her daughter - talking about how she was feeling. Sounds like a normal thing a mother would do, but mine didn't. I was fascinated that she just worked that into a conversation, and here this article is basically saying she was brilliant to parent that way, even though the article isn't on parenting at all.

And people want to outlaw corporal punishment! [2007-06-01]
Sounds like the perfect time! Ack!

Ok, I gotcha (sm) [2007-05-27]
I get what you are saying now. That is so tough. IThe Shelter of Each Other by Dr. Mary Pipher and she talks a lot in it about this problem of people having no time for anything, especially themselves. I highly recommend it for anyone who feels that way and is unhappy with their family situation. Basically since you can't make more hours in a day, you may have to make some hard choices. It sounds like a big part of your problem is your husband's work schedule and your essentially having to be a single parent when he's not there, correct? And on top of that, you have your own work obligations. Frankly, you need more support, and you *definitely* need some you time. It's not fair to you or your kids if you can't recharge your batteries some way. Do you and your husband ever get a date night? Or when he is off, can you take an hour or two to yourself? Even going to the Walgreen's or Wal-Mart to browse the aisles without children hanging off of you is amazingly refreshing (or it was to me, when mine were small!). As far as the girls fighting, I don I have boys myself that are 3 years apart and for the most part they get along. Could it be a bid for attention? In other words, mommy fussing at you for fighting is better than mommy working and not paying attention to you? Know what I mean? It seems like when I have a deadline is when the boys start, and if I think about it, it's usually on days when I haven't been able to give them any time. Just a thought. I hope some others chime in with some ideas that could help. My heart goes out to you.

I think at times I'm a bad mom... [2007-05-26]
I hope someone can give me some sound advice on my problem. I work at home doing MT and have three children 6, 4 and 2. The 6yo goes to school (out for summer now) and the other two go to babysitters usually all week. There are times when I have things come up during the day to where I have to type in the evenings to get my quota. The kids just don They are constantly fighting (the two girls 6 and 4) and I don Hubby is a police officer and works rotating shifts so he is not usually home in the evenings. I am 39 and this is my second marriage. I have a 19 yo from prior marriage and at times I just feel like I am missing out on what should be the time of my life that I am able to do whatever I want without kids around. I know that sounds horrible to say, but it I want to enjoy my kids (because they are good kids for the most part), but I Any suggestions? They know mommy is working because it Thanks for any ideas and suggestions.

If your C-phone has the attached cassette recorder, you are set. If not, you need a call-in system. [2007-05-26]
VDI is a great one from ECS in Ventura, CA. You need the analog call-in to use the C-phone or VDI station (C-phone sounds best). Do not get the sound file model. You will also need a dedicated phone line or 2. You can purchase a skutch station to wire directly into your call-in system without requiring another phone line to access the dictation. If you just have one doctor or a few, I have a call-in system that uses voice files and is easy to set up that I am considering selling. My accounts went EMR. My e-mail is diannalazan@yahoo.com if you have further questions.

SAHM-Homeschools [2007-05-06]
I'm not exactly what you are looking for. I have been lurking on your boards quite awhile trying to decide if i'm ready to do MT or not. I am a SAHM who homeschools a 5th grader. I also have an 18m/o girl and i'm due in July with #3. Depending on the grade of your child there are alot of options out there. There are schools that are totally online w/ online teachers and students they can communicate with. Mine will be doing Calvert online academy next year and he's very excited. If you want anymore info on it let me know~! GL

Colleen, do you have a set-up [2007-02-04]
at a table next to you while you type? I wonder if you make her feel important in that she is helping you, for example, she needs to really color that pretty picture for you. It sounds as if your relationship with your daughter is a very loving one, and she may feel like she is really helping Mom by getting that picture colored. I wonder if you could find a small table and chair for her. This worked well for my daughter. My son was much more passive and would videos, but my daughter was more busy, so I made her a transcriber and gave her some pretend headphones, and she would just work along side me. I know you are looking for suggestions, and this is one that worked really well for me. Then also, since she Just trying to help, and don

Your so welcome... [2006-10-13]
Believe me, I know what you mean about having to vent. I have those days and still do now and again, but I find if I can have a routine and do what I need to do for me every now and again, it sure helps keep my mood in perspective. You really have a full plate if you are homeschooling, too. I couldn't imagine working at home and homeschooling my children as well. I am somewhat looking forward to the day my youngest starts school and I can start some making some good money again! But, of course, I know I will really miss having home, too! Hope you can find some balance in your life. Please, take some time for yourself, it sounds like you really need to. Remember, if you are not good to yourself, you are not good to anyone!

MT Training ... what's best? [2006-09-06]
I'm a SAHM who's looking to get back to work. I've been researching online MT training programs and some from my local schools. The least expensive is CareerStep. Has anyone ever used them for training and can offer any information? I called a local MT company for any recommendation they could offer. They said to be sure whoever I choose offers job placement assistance. They don't hire grads without actual work experience but told me to call them after I have about a year of experience. I would like to be a subcontractor and work from home since my 3rd child is still at home but will attend preschool in the afternoons starting next week. If any of you would offer me any tips or information, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.

Any GREAT advice on getting human urine odor out of a pillowtop mattress? sm [2006-08-27]
Hi everyone! I am in a major hum here! I have this great mattress that I dearly love and is quite expensive. My son has been potty trained for months without an accident. Frankly I thought he was not going to have them....wishful thinking, huh? Well last night he decided to come to our bed - and had an accident. We have a pillowtop....It has been almost 24 hours....we tried a small spot of 409 (I know sounds crazy but that is all we had). I read on the internet about rubbing alcohol or vinegar....Anyone ever fixed this type of problem? Thanks....I hope too much time has not passed already!