Some kids don't need a lot of sleep even at that age

No regrets however my kids are now older (sm) [2008-08-04]
so I I liked being available for them (still do) during school holidays, summer time, those days when they're sick, etc. and wouldn't have traded it for the world. I don What I like best about doing this from home is the flexibility I have to schedule doctor's appointments, manicures, etc. Good luck!

Hard to remember those days - I too was sleep deprived. [2008-05-21]
I have an 8-month-old now. From what I can remember, they suggest not pushing a schedule until after 3 months and to not expect any certain schedule until around that point in time. Good luck.

?'s about balancing work and kids [2008-04-02]
I would love to hear what others do in the same situation... In the past few months I have picked up more work. I am now working a minimum of 5-6 hours a day although usually more. I figure if I have to I can most of the time get my work done in 5-6 hours. So... I have a 2 yo, 9 yo, and 10 yo. My job is flexible. I can work the hours as wish as long as I get my required work done. I have two dilemmas... Summer vacation: All kids home. Will be bringing older two to a summer camp from 9-12 daily. It involves getting them up and ready from about 8-9 and dropping them off. Will be back by about 9:15. I will still have the 2 yo. Of course, I would also love to have some free time to spend with my kids in the summer (is this asking too much?). So it would be ideal to get my hours in as early as possible and have some time in the afternoon free. I also don I am thinking maybe getting up super early, maybe getting a sitter in the morning? Anyone else in this situation? Then, return to school in the fall...The older two will be in school so that part of the dilemma is solved. My 2 yo will be attending preschool 2 mornings. I am thinking maybe getting someone to watch her in the afternoons. Maybe a nanny? Anyone have any experience with nannies? Where do I look? Any help would be GREATLY appreciated. I am sure there are others who have been in these situations. I like hearing about what other MT Any hints, advice, tips, etc are great.

work and kids [2008-04-02]
Is working at night an option? I have a 12 yo, 9 yo, 6 yo, and 4 yo. In the summer I have to do most of my work at night because they are all home. You might try a splitting it up - working a few hours in the morning and then a few hours at night. It definitely can be challenging but it can be done! Good luck to you!

Some kids don't need a lot of sleep even at that age [2008-02-18]
You can't MAKE them sleep, no matter how much you wish you could sometimes.

I work at home for my kids [2008-01-18]
They are the whole reason I work from home. Also, I donchildren, not adults. When I prayed for them, decided to have them, I knew they would need constant care, love, dedication, etc. They are my responsibility and I desire to spend time with them and watch them grow. My problem is I have a client who, when they contracted with me, new my situation, new I was a mom working from home. My circumstances haven't changed. I am still the same person, doing more work than I did when I started, loyal to a fault, hard worker. The client's situation has changed. They are producing more work than 2 MT's can do in one day and they are the ones who don't want to do anything about it.

You are no good for your kids in this state. If you [2008-01-18]
x

Often the 2nd, 3rd kids train earlier, easier than the 1st.sm [2008-01-06]
They see the other older kid(s) using the bathroom and they want to be like the big kids, so they take to training earlier and easier. My bro's kids, the first one was 2-1/2, the second one barely 2, and the third was only 1-1/2 and practically trained herself. There is hope!

making money with kids home [2007-11-21]
I guess I was lucky. I was the head transcriptions/supervisor at a imaging/hospital, after having two back to back prgancnies (two months after giving birth) high risk and on disability, I lost my position. I was asked to work from home. My boys are very good and well behaved. They just grew up knowing that when I was at the computer, I was working and they were to be quiet and only interrupt me when necessary. I would put them next to me on the floor in my room and they would play. The key is to work shifts two hours at a time, throughout the day, so they got used to it. I would work in the morning, stop to get them set up with breakfast (about 1/2 hour), then work til lunch, and so on and so on. I was lucky my hospital allowed me to do so. I made anywhere between 200/300 hundrend a week. It is possible, you just need to train you children to respect your work. My 5 year old started school and my 4 year old is home with me now. It gets easier. I do find it difficult to do evenings though, the boys except more from me between 4 and bedtime. You should try working the times that you know you kids need you the least, or while they are in school. Good luck.

I don't make much with my kids around... [2007-11-08]
Lately I I get paid 8 cents per line for clinic work (as an IC). For awhile I was making about $300 per week, but I was staying up until 4 a.m. and later a lot to do it! I only have 2 kids, one in school until 3 p.m. and one at home all day, but I just find it really hard to be productive with them around!!! I I do save money not having to pay daycare, buy work clothes, and use a ton of gas, but I really need to make some more money! I feel for you, and I know many women are able to make a good living in this profession. I I Good luck, and feel free to email me if you ever want to - even though I obviously don't have any great advice as I'm in the same boat as you!!

Kids [2007-10-26]
When my kids were younger I got frustrated ALOT!! What made me get through it is remembering THEY ARE ONLY YOUNG ONCE - THIS WILL PASS!!! Please oh please oh please remember this time in your children's lives can never be relived again - YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE TO DO IT THE WAY YOU WANT TO!! If you REALLY HAVE TO WORK then you must do what you have to do, that's understandable. If you can at all juggle the career around, get a sitter, work less hours, etc - please do it. I quit my full-time job, worked per-diem, almost went into the poor house and I have not once regreted it.

I don't have kids, but it [2007-10-21]
sounds like you are doing a great job, and shouldn't feel guilty at all. My mom always said she would leave my sister and I in our cribs in the morning while she stayed in bed. She could hear us in there just singing ...

Kids [2007-10-18]
It It seems like only yesterday I tried to work with my son in a baby carrier on my chest. Now he is 3! My kids are into educationalcomputer games. My 5-year-old daughter does great by herself (she started on a computer when she was about 2.) My son can run the games, but still needs help. He does fine if I am hovering over him, the minute I put my headphones on he needs help! Mama It helps when you can give them something educational to keep their attention for a while. As far as naps, my daughter does not nap. My son does in the afternoon for about 3 hours. I know that kids thrive on schedules, so if I were you I would go with a schedule that works best for you and doesn Oh, and remember, it is good to let them play by themselves a bit every day. It builds independence and confidence. My son is wonderful playing alone. My daughter was spoiled as the first born and she is very high maintenance! She requires our attention ALL THE TIME! So, if your kids are quite they are probably just enjoying some alone time! Good luck!

Working at home with kids [2007-10-12]
I have been an MT for about 20 years. I started when my youngest was about a year old. My husband used to work evenings, and basically was not much help because he worked a lot of OT. When I look back, I don nothing is perfect, but this has been very good to me. Hang in there, it will get better!

I didn't make that much when my kids were younger either. [2007-09-14]
I wound up getting up two hours earlier than they did, and hoping they didn't wake up early. I worked during naptime. I paid my oldest child (or you can find a neighbor girl) to entertain the young ones so I could work. And I worked again after they went down for the night. It was exhausting and it felt like I worked all day, every day. The kids just had to understand that this was the way things had to be for a while. We needed the money and I had to work at home because daycare was too expensive. Also, use a word Expander and try to find a company or client with good accounts. I didn't make diddly working for the nationals, always being moved to the hardest accounts, never doing the same doctors twice in a day, ESLs all day long because the cake work goes to newbies or VR. As for feeling guilty about not playing with your kids all day long, parents weren't put on this planet to entertain their children all day long. Even in pioneer days, the parents worked all day doing laundry, gardening, baking, canning, cooking, cleaning, etc. Make it quality time, not quantity time.

Working with kids [2007-09-10]
Thankfully my youngest daughter is in preschool for four hours in the morning every day and my oldest is 13 and gone all day. I still work crazy hours, though because of my second job. I work while she's gone in the a.m. and for a couple of hours in the afternoon even though she's home, but at four she's able to pretty much play in the vicinty by herself without causing too much of a commotion or she plays outside in the fenced backyard where I can see her from my work space. But I also work from 9:00 (or 10:00) p.m., until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. You really just have to try whatever schedule works for you. There may be a lot of trial and error. I admire those who have more than one very young child at home and can still work and be productive.

Kids and clean house... [2007-06-29]
I read a poem once about kids and keeping a clean house. I don and housework will always be there! Your kids will remember the time you spent with them, not how clean mom kept the house. Don't sweat the small stuff. I myself just straighten up daily like the poster below and worry about the major cleaning when I find the time or the desire to do so.

I worked the whole time my kids were sm [2007-03-01]
small and made more money then than I do now. It can be done but it is hard. If you need the benefits and have to work certain hours, that wonbabysitters!

My kids come before any job. [2007-02-05]
No pity party here.

Yikes! When do you sleep? [2007-01-31]
I am not able to put my daughter into a preschool as of yet due to her bathroom issues, so right now I have no choice but to keep her home with me. I think I could work maybe 10p-2a, but by 2am I would definitely be asleep. LOL

Funny, I came here to post about what to do about kids who are so unbelievably selfish and sm [2006-10-13]
I am literally losing my mind and control over here. I have 3 - a 9 year old (in school), 4 year old, and 2-1/2 year old. All boys. The 4 year old is extremely demanding, abusive to his brother(s), mean, disobedient, etc. you get the picture. The other 2 are pretty calm as they can be. So, it's pretty much my middle one who makes me very upset throughout the day. I NEED to work, and for some ungodly reason whenever I sit down to work they both NEED SOMETHING!!! If it's not one thing, it's another. They don't take my job seriously. It's a joke to them. I will sit my 4 year old down and explain how important mommy's work is and he will either yell in my face or just walk away. I think my 2 year old understands more than he does. Don't get me wrong, my 2 year old is quite demanding himself, but at leasst he listens! He will pick up his toys if I tell him and so will my 9 year old, but this 4 year old will look at me like I just told him to run outside naked, will probably throw a fit, AND won't pick up his toys. I had a serious talk with my husband the other night and told him that I was seriously thinking of taking a leave of absence from work (which we really can't afford) so that I can WORK on my 4 year old and 2 year old right now. They are out of control. I don't like being out of control (right now he's yelling in my ear about the ice cream he DIDN'T get today - yes, he did. This morning). So, I will have to continue this later, but you get my drift. I love my children dearly. More than anything. But I swear to you, I WOULD LOVE a few hours in the morning or afternoon so that I could work. Enjoy it and count it a blessing that you have alone time. Think of me and many others who CAN'T work at home and be productive because they have extremely demanding and selfish little kids needing 100% of them while their company and work suffers......I have come to the realization that I just can't have both. I either have to WORK or STAY HOME WITH THEM without work. I can't do both. You might can, but I definitely can't. I'm not wired nor cut out to do it all with all this drama surrounding me all day.

Wow...I feel really bad for your kids... [2006-10-13]
And for you, I mean really, I am trying to feel for you, but your statement about sitting down and talking to your 2 and 4-year-old about not taking your job seriously and it being a joke to them, what would you expect from little ones! And as far as them being selfish, of course they want your attention and deserve to have it! And before you consider this a bashing on my part, let me just say I know where you are coming from. I have an 18-year-old son who is a senior who is in and out of the house on a daily and nightly basis, constant interruptions of the phone ringing for him, asking for money, and friends over, too. Plus, I have a 3-year-old son who is home with me every day except for a few hours three days a week at preschool. I do work full-time, but have made some major adjustments because I like you was losing my mind trying to work around everyone else. My suggestions to you may be try to get up early in the morning before everyone awakes and get at least a half days' work in (about three to four hours) and if your little ones take a nap, which at that age I would expect they would, work while they are sleeping. Also, give them some specific things that they can only play with during your work times, and no other times, this will make the play things more fun such as Play-Doh, or make up a box of toys,colors and coloring books, any item they may be interested in and have them play with these for a short time while you work. Also, I would invest in favorite videos and/or educational programming. A little TV, at least if it is educational never hurt anyone. Keep in mind, they have short attention spans at this age so be sure to break up your work in short sessions if possible. My company allows me to work a split shift three ways and this helps tremendously allowing me to flex my time around my kids. Or have you considered putting them in day care, I know it is expensive, but maybe on a part-time basis you could handle it, it would be good for them for socializing with other kids, learning to follow some rules and giving you a break to concentrate on just work while they are gone? Also, be sure hubby helps out when he gets home, maybe he can take the kids to a park or play a game or help fix dinner with the kids being his helpers. I suspect your 4-year-old is acting out due to lack of attention on your part when working and probably frustation. I find that when I am not working, I make sure I spend as much time keeping my little guy busy learning, going outside for walks, exploring and generally very busy so that when I am working he does not feel left out as I have given him my all for a time and he can feel free to play by himself for short periods afterwards. You are blessed in that you have two kids to keep each other company at least when they are getting along. I wish my little guy had a sibling closer to his age, as the oldest does not spend a lot of time with him, but when he does it sure helps out. Just remember, they are only little once and this too shall pass. Cherish these days, do not dread them, you will miss them I promise when they are gone! I hope everything works out. Feel free to e-mail me. And I apologize if I sounded harsh, just been there, done that!

Always had my kids at home while I worked [2006-09-29]
But I started 18 years ago, and I really believe there was more flexibility back then. Companies just gave me a minimum line count and 24 hours to meet it. Yep. It felt like I was working all the time, because I was constantly starting and stopping work throughout the day. I started MTing when my oldest was 6 months old, and a year and a half later I had my second son. (Only took two weeks off before I was bored and back at the typewriter. Uh huh... a typewriter in those days.) I think it's easier to work with the kids home if you're part-time. Full-time is harder. It's possible, though. It's all about scheduling and willingness to work sometimes ugly hours. By the way, my 16 yo is now learning MT. He's decided it might be a good way to make some extra money. And I agree.

My kids loved it when they were young! [2006-09-12]
Still have there little Home Depot aprons with their pins. They used to give a pin for each project. Don't know if they still do or not. This is an excellent art class for homeschoolers!

kids at home [2006-09-05]
I definitely agree with you....I hear people saying they work from home and have their kids at home while they are working and wondering why they are not making any money...it's impossible. I have a two year old son who is in daycare, and I also agree with you that the money you are spending in daycare is worth it because with them home, there is no way you could make any money......I have older kids who stay home of course because they are 13, 15 and 18, and in the summer, sometimes I am fortunate enough to keep my son home and they watch him, but he knows I'm in my room typing, and he wants to play with me....He is too little to understand that I have to work, and I think it is awful him knowing that I'm right in the other room, but will not come out and play with him...when he is older, I will let him stay home, but for now....I have to make money and that's the only way! I think the people who are keeping their kids at home until they go to school will be pleasantly suprised at their income change once their kids go to school!

Chelle [2008-11-30]
I am a single Mom too and homeschooling my too boys. I thought I was the only one! Especially as a single mom. My boys are 15 and 10. My oldest I have homeschooled through an umbrella program (Christian Academy parachoial school locally). They provide all the curriculum, teaching plans and record keep. He can take classes on site for the ones we cannot do at home (chemistry etc). It's our first year. There were safety issues in public schools by me. He is doing very well. Mostly independent. I come up at lunch time and answer questions and help with any issues he might have and check his work every evening/corrections. My youngest has a developmental delays. We use Time 4 Learning I work IC right now so have a 24-hour window. He needs more one-on-one help. I need insurance so looking to possibly change from IC to employee stauts and not quite sure how we will handle it. Right now my IC job doesn't have much work in the early morning while they sleep and this when I need it. But often I work at night when they are bed. It's definteily not easy. But I do see it's a great value to the kids. I am happy to chat with others. I am in Michigan

Wow! All this time I thought I was the only one who worked full-time [2008-11-28]
transcription and homeschooled my kids!! I have to do a lot of juggling around with my work hours to make it work, but I For those of you who are making it work, approximately how many hours a day do you spend with school? I also wonder if your husbands are good about helping out. My husband seems to think his day is over at 5:00 sharp, when he comes through the door and puts his feet up in his Lazy Boy. My day ends at 2:00 in the morning! How do you all manage to juggle this life? If anyone out there would like to correspond, please do! This life can feel a bit lonely. I mean, it I'm becoming a bit like Howard Hughes - minus the long nails and the germ phobia...

I've dealt with 3, but the best/worst of them... [2008-11-16]
...was my neighbor just about 2 years ago. She must have thought I enjoyed having that just rolled outta bed look every morning running my kids off to school and rushing back home for work, the lack of sleep from working 2 jobs and barely leaving the house; ya know, all the PERKS of working at home. Such a glamorous life of leisure I lead making 100K+ a year transcribing inside my mansion with maids and servants cooking and cleaning for me during the day, taking moonlit cruises on my 100 foot yacht every night. Oh yes, look out for me being featured on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and Better Homes & Gardens as I'm just rolling in dough here and have got it made with this life of leisure. NOT. After explaining what an MT is/does, she gave the standard OHHHH! response. She must have absorbed very little from our chat: Typing, paycheck, work at home. She was convinced this was an easy way to make money from home and if I could do it, then she certainly could excel at it. So, disregarding my advice, she took a $700 terminology course at the community college. She bought a Vera Pyle book, foot pedal and headset and was ready to work from home. She even had a job waiting for her after completing the terminology course. The job was being handed to her at 7.5 cpl from her friendthe largest MT company. It was also this same woman advising her she ONLY needed a terminology course. Shame on her! I tried to warn my neighbor, guide her, offer my help to get her started properly, help her through a file if needed, but she never took me up on any of it. My neighbor it really wasn't even a day, I would say it was more like 30 minutes. She heard 1 actual dictation and ran away from the computer. When I asked her how it was going with MT, she told me what happened and gave several excuses: She decided she couldn't sit here all day just typing. She couldn't understand anything the doctor was saying. She didn't have time for it any longer. Her excuses just went on and on. I really felt badly for her seeing as she chose to believe the wrong person's information regarding this field and also the fact that she gave up so easily after spending all that money. For weeks afterwards I would ask her if she was going to try it again or further her MT education to at least have a better chance of succeeding. She now had a better understanding that MT is an actual job and it involves a lot more than just owning a computer and simply typing. Her answer to this day remains no way. When I that too gets the OHHHH! response, but it also sends them a message my job is not easy without having to explain more.

I did it - it is possible! [2008-11-05]
I started working from home when my son was just almost 2-1/2. Before that, I worked at a hospital and he was shifted from babysitter to grandma to daddy four days a week. I know you said you canmommy sitter. That's where a child (they say ideal is 8-12 years old) comes to play and entertain the children while mommy has something else she needs to get done in the house (or take a bubble bath!). It wouldn't cost much to pay a child so young and the child's parent would be reassured by your presence. Plus, a child that age with no younger sibling might truly enjoy playing with a 1-year-old. That might work until your husband comes home. Keep working at it. Sometimes it just takes a while to adjust and kids go thru periods of straining at the confines of a schedule. Work at figuring out a schedule until you find one that works. You CAN do it! And it's worth it!!

How do you afford it at an MT? [2008-10-31]
I can I am lucky tomake $50 a day at 7 crappy cpl. Ineed abetter at home job so I can stay here with my kids. That is all that matters to me....AND being able to pay thebills too.

Working at home while caring for 1-year-old son. Can it really be done? [2008-10-21]
Seriously . . . Can it? I work second shift. Most the days I am starting once I lay my son down for his afternoon nap (around 12:30 p.m.) and then working until the end of my shift with a lunch in the middle. My husband doesn My son has recently decided he needs less sleep, which is understandable since he is getting older now. He has cut his naps down to about 1 hour a day. That means I have to try to work from about 1:30 p.m. until my husband gets home trying to take care of my son at the same time. He usually is pretty good about playing on his own or sitting on my lap watching me, but he is teething now and is very, very needy. He won I just switched jobs, so I can Any suggestions or help or tips would be greatly appreciated. I wish I didn I am just totally stressing about not making enough to pay the bills and trying to keep my son and husband happy all at the same time. Tips and suggestions would be very, very much appreciated. Thanks.

working and babysitting [2008-10-21]
My experience is that until they are in preschool, you will have to have some help watching them while you work or work when they are asleep. Working part-time can be more productive also. My husband prefers money to happiness, so is often miserable while I am at work and he is watching the kids. You can't have everything.

Around 4 months [2008-09-16]
Both of my kids slept through the night at 4 months. They would sleep around 6 hours at 3 months. Since I bottle feed my kids your might take longer since mommy milk digests more quickly. Wow, congrats on getting back to work so soon. I will be taking a full 8 weeks should I decide to have another.

one-month-old-- have one too. [2008-09-08]
My daughter was born 08/08/08, and I also have a 15-year-old and a 3-year-old. I commend you for going back in one week!! I should be back already, but just can My normal shift is 5 a.m. to 1 p.m., and I have been laying back down with her after she gets up her once a night, until most days 8 a.m. at least. When we started giving my son cereal at night at 4 weeks, he slept longer. Put it in his bottle to start with a larger nipple, and then spoon fed also.Maybe try spoon feeding abit of cereal mixed with milk beforelaying her down for the night? Docs do not recommend it, but it sure helps them sleep longer/keeps their tummy fuller longer. It has worked for my first 2 sons!! I have never breast fed, so don Every baby is different, and you will probably have to adapt to her schedule, rather than she to yours. That is what is good about flexible schedules-- I go back to work this Wed. and have a VERY flexible schedule/boss. Good luck with this, I have it pretty easy, my daughter gets up only once a night, but it may be 2 a.m., it may be 4:30 a.m., than she goes back down and it is WAY too temptnig to lay back down with her, instead of getting into the groove of getting up by 5 a.m.!!! SHe also sleeps the largest part of the day, just waiting for that to change... Again, good luck!

I believe it is all a state of mind [2008-08-31]
kind of thing. Some days I would love to stay in my pj I have 5 children that I homeschool every morning. I have a K, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 6th graders at home. They are the reason I do this job so that I can be home with them. I work 4 days per week, part-time and the kids have piano lessons, dance lessons, school work, etc.. We manage to get everything done in a day. They also know that when mom is working it is time for them to do something quietly and they cooperate very well. It can be done and it does not have to be hard.

I totally agree... [2008-07-22]
This is what I would do: In the morning either before or after your sleep time, go ahead and get a shower and get dressed even if that is in sweats or comfortable clothes. Wear these same clothes to cook dinner and into your shift. I think the problem is that you're working 3rd shift and I think that is the cause of the PJ situation. I read a book that my 8-year-old wrote around Motherpajamas. I had not really looked at it that way, but I guess she does see me in lounge clothes moreso than everyday clothes. I also work full-time at home, but not third shift. You may also want to consider getting involved in something even if it is a painting class or something you like to do. I know this costs money, but your sanity will be saved in the long run. I am fortunate enough to have gotten involved with some of the parents from my kids Even though it is not over and beyond socializing, it is something, i.e., coffee for an hour on a weekday. It is very, very easy to get homebound in this profession. I cringe at the thought of going out on a Friday night with all of the traffic. I am only 37, this is not right. So, I am also letting you know that you are not alone. Hang in there, and like the other poster says get a haircut. Plan a dinner out if possible with your teens and make it a point to step outside a few times during the evening just to gulp some fresh air. I water the flowers. Is there something that needs done outside that you could do this? Hugs to you...

LET MYSELF GO [2008-07-22]
First, I I have 2 teenage kids. I And then, I sleep most of the day, in my PJs of course. By the time I get up, it's time to make dinner and I might go outside with my teenage kids, but most of the time, I clean the house - and, why should I get dressed for that? Well, most of you can guess what has happened....I All I do is wear PJs. I I haven I My hair has grown out and there is no shape to it. Sometimes, I can My checks are direct deposit, so no need to go to the bank. Really, the only thing I do is go to the grocery store - and sometimes I don I am on anti-depressants - and I do believe there is an element of depression/stress going on here. How do I start getting myself back from this?

first step [2008-06-14]
Brooke: I want to commend you on going to church and the strides you are making to show a good example. But that may not be quite enough. It sounds as if your husband has an inkling that he needs to make some changes . However, I do still think that the suggestion for martial counseling with your pastor is important. From some of you have said it does sound like there are a few more seriuos issues than him simply taking you for granted. You make it sound as if he is controlling all the fiances and your behavior and actions through that. Now I understand being frugal but you stated he can spend what he wants but you afraid to even ask for 20 dollars to joint a Momgood now. But remember, again you are to be viewed in terms of good or bad or imply you deserve certain treatment do to past mistakes. In the end you shoudl provide for your future. I think every woman does need a saftey plan for financial security. Working part-time would provide you money to buy some things for yourself and also to join group. You need social support. Right now you are essentially isolated other than your husband and family. What about joinign a MOPS group through church? I am not sure, but dont' think there is a charge. You need a group of supportive peole other than your husband. Keep going to church - maybe your husband might get into the men's minsitry. This could serve two-fold. He could see and model from Chrisian men how they interact aand also how they treat their wives. It would also give him a social outlet. The two of you going out without kids is also good. remember so a combinatin of things. One thing (such as date night or occasional church service) isn't going to work. Pray together. Have yourchurch family pray for you. I undersatnd divorce is not an option. I salute your committment to your marriage but your husband has to be as committed. It cannot just be about YOU making changes. So pray for his change of heart and try to actively involve him. YOu must communicate with him. Not yell, no walk on egg shells. If you are afraid to talke to him why? Has he been abusive/ Were you abused in the past by someone? AGain if this the case you need immediate intervention. Bottom line God asks men to love their wives but he did not say control their wives or belittle their wives. Women should suport and love their husbands as head of household but not be afraid of them or cower to them....

Thank you for your advice everyone. I am lucky in that my job is one where I have the full 24 hours [2008-05-30]
to do my line requirement and no set in stone schedule, so it has been doable. Also, line counts have been down and I I had my DH go in the attic and pull out the swing, which I had almost forgotten about, and that has helped a lot. Also, we hadn

I was one of the lucky ones, on a decent schedule after about 3 months, although definitely not back [2008-05-28]
to where I was used to producing, at least I was getting some sleep. He LOVED his swing, and would stay in it as long as I would allow. With other kids at home, hats off to you, because any little noise would throw him completely off schedule at that point. Have fun with it!

1-month-old schedule [2008-05-21]
Hiya. I have 8-year-old twin boys and an almost 1-month old girl. It has been a long time since the boys were on a napping schedule, so I was wondering if someone could refresh my memory as to when a nursing newborn can be set up on somewhat of a sleep-at-night, nap-by-day schedule and what a typical schedule might be. I went back to work one week after she was born, but am finding it really difficult to work consistently and get enough sleep for myself (homeschool the boys, one with special needs) with the baby up about every four hours. My boss is very patient anddoes not mind lesser line counts at this point, since I came back after only one week (despite emergency c-section), but I really want my line counts and paycheck back to normalas soon aspossible! Thank you!

?'s about balancing work and kids [2008-04-02]
I would love to hear what others do in the same situation... In the past few months I have picked up more work. I am now working a minimum of 5-6 hours a day although usually more. I figure if I have to I can most of the time get my work done in 5-6 hours. So... I have a 2 yo, 9 yo, and 10 yo. My job is flexible. I can work the hours as wish as long as I get my required work done. I have two dilemmas... Summer vacation: All kids home. Will be bringing older two to a summer camp from 9-12 daily. It involves getting them up and ready from about 8-9 and dropping them off. Will be back by about 9:15. I will still have the 2 yo. Of course, I would also love to have some free time to spend with my kids in the summer (is this asking too much?). So it would be ideal to get my hours in as early as possible and have some time in the afternoon free. I also don I am thinking maybe getting up super early, maybe getting a sitter in the morning? Anyone else in this situation? Then, return to school in the fall...The older two will be in school so that part of the dilemma is solved. My 2 yo will be attending preschool 2 mornings. I am thinking maybe getting someone to watch her in the afternoons. Maybe a nanny? Anyone have any experience with nannies? Where do I look? Any help would be GREATLY appreciated. I am sure there are others who have been in these situations. I like hearing about what other MT Any hints, advice, tips, etc are great.

During the summer I work early a.m. for the majority of my lines usually 4-9 a.m. [2008-04-02]
If I have not hit my line count, I typically pick up the rest at night after the kids are in bed. We do the day camp, summer activities and classes, swim lessons, etc., but I could never get into a good rhythm in the short periods between getting everyone ready to go and playing chauffeur all day long. It really is easier for me to split my shift and work when there are not other things going on.

God knows when I need Him! [2008-04-01]
He definitely planted the seed in my heart that said to go to church... many times I've resisted arguing because I don't want to be angry all day, but according to what we learned Sunday, we can't control our spouse's actions, we can only control our own. Therefore, I should be the kind of person I want him to be and by my example he will be led to do the same. So, I'm going to do everything in my power to make him feel like I want him to make me feel, and do for him what I'd like him to do for me. This is a step toward progress... and I would never even consider separation or divorce, that's not in our vocabulary. Too many people throw other people away when they're unhappy instead of working on it. Now if he was a wife beater, or hurt my kids... I'd get out ASAP ha. Thankfully that is not the case.

God knows when I need Him! [2008-04-01]
He definitely planted the seed in my heart that said to go to church... many times I've resisted arguing because I don't want to be angry all day, but according to what we learned Sunday, we can't control our spouse's actions, we can only control our own. Therefore, I should be the kind of person I want him to be and by my example he will be led to do the same. So, I'm going to do everything in my power to make him feel like I want him to make me feel, and do for him what I'd like him to do for me. This is a step toward progress... and I would never even consider separation or divorce, that's not in our vocabulary. Too many people throw other people away when they're unhappy instead of working on it. Now if he was a wife beater, or hurt my kids... I'd get out ASAP ha. Thankfully that is not the case. Thank you for your encouragement!

I'm stunned [2008-04-01]
I can And he does it because he gets away with it.I was a SAHM with 3 kids as well as other kids that Ibabysat. If my DH had EVER come home and pointed out that something wasnwellenough for him, he would

Sounds like his mother was this type of [2008-04-01]
wife/mother and that is all he knows. My ex was like that (his mom was SAHM and did absolutely everything) and he found out real quick that was not the real world, especially as I was working 40+ hours a week. I truly believe you both need to sit down and let each other know your expectations. Since this has been going on forever, it is going to take time for you both to come to some sort of compromise. You can only do so much before you run yourself into the ground. Then you are no good for anyone--him or your children. Plus, your kids need to know that if and when they have families, it takes 2 to run a household, not just the mom.

update [2008-03-31]
thank you all for your encouragement and advice. we haven't been going to church regularly lately and i've realized maybe we need it, so i packed the kids up and we went to church (he came too, usually i get up and get the kids ready and tell him an hour before i leave that if he's not ready by then i'm leaving without him -- he sleeps in on weekends, as i said before). so we go to church and guess what the sermon is about... marital disharmony. our pastor listed some things that cause disharmony and one of them was unrealistic expectations. i listed mine as expecting him to be home more often to spend more time with us. he asked if i wanted us to spend more time together, and i said yes. so he convinced his mom to take the girls and then took me out to dinner, and told me he would try to do something with me once a week. another thing the pastor said was not to criticize differences, to embrace them and celebrate them. he didn't make any comments about it but i'm hoping if he paid attention to the expectations part that maybe he paid attention to this too. i've told him before that i can't take constant criticism, it breaks me down and makes me feel worthless. i do realize keeping my mouth shut for the sake of peace and quiet isn't going to get us anywhere. one day it's all going to add up and i'm not going to know what i'm doing here anymore. if he can keep making little steps like he did yesterday, then i can keep setting an example and look forward to his slow maturity. i do have some childhood banks my mom gave me recently, filled with coins -- i'm going to take them in to be counted asap.

SAHM/WAHM and fairness, respect [2008-03-29]
I wouldn't call my position as a current SAHM terribly difficult. My toddler, while quite rowdy and misbehaved some days, is fairly content to entertain herself while I do housework. My newborn is a quiet one. My house is small and cleans rather quickly. There is a place for mostly everything, so there's not much clutter aside from my daughter's toys which migrate from her room to every other room in the house. I have to do laundry at my mother in law's because we don't have a washer/dryer, so my kids get to visit with their nana and papa while I wash the clothes. We have a fenced-in yard and there is a park two steps from my house so I don't have to pack the kids in the car to take them someplace to play. Some days I finish the housework so fast that I'm bored unless I'm creative and can find something for me and my toddler to do together (which is what I should be doing anyway). However, I do absolutely everything around my home, including on the weekends. My husband seems to think that because he works outside the home, he shouldnjust another bill. I take the girls to their wellness appointments. I change out the garbages. I keep up the garage and the yard. I check the mail. He puts our toddler to bed most nights because I'm nursing our newborn, but since he works late often I've been able to practice putting her to bed quickly enough so my newborn doesn't interrupt us by crying. He takes the garbage to the curb (most of the time). He's put the dishes away a handful of times. If I ask to go somewhere for some time alone, he'll watch our toddler for an hour or two (I don't ask for this often, but maybe I should?). He spends whatever he wants on computer games and fast food... I get nothing to spend on myself or the kids unless it's an absolute necessity. When I worked part time and was pregnant, I did everything. When I gave birth, he was forced to learn how to put our toddler to bed, so that's why he does that now. I try to sleep in but I can't with a toddler loose in the house and a hungry newborn. I'm feeling pretty run-down and lethargic lately, cooped up and lonely, insignificant and like I can't get anywhere. I'm about to start MT training and of course will still be expected to do everything around the house without any help and without any forgiveness should I miss something. I'm worried that even once I start working full time and the kids are in daycare, he's not going to lift a finger to help me out -- I'll have even less time after work to do all the chores on top of caring for the kids. I'm not looking forward to the arguments that will ensue if I fail to do the dishes one day or let the livingroom get a little cluttered. HeI better take care of that quick before he sees it as opposed to hey look there. one time when I was pregnant and started a valid argument with him about another topic, he resorted to pointing out my lack of housekeeping skills (which had nothing to do with the subject) in order to throw me off and upset me. I want to contribute to our household because we've been living off his income alone since January, but I feel that even working full time won't make him appreciate what I do for our children and our household. I am not ungrateful that he is our only income currently, but the only reason for this is because I just gave birth. Had I not done that, I would still be working right now, but there would still be an inequality in our relationship, and I don't know how much more I can take before I just shut down and shut him out completely. Any confrontation about how I feel leads to a shouting match and finger-pointing, so I just don't say anything at all. We just got married in October and I already see it going downhill if this continues. Any advice? How can I put it to him that I'm his wife and the mother of his children, not his 24-hour maid? That even though I'm not working, I still deserve respect and time to myself and a little money to spend on what I want? That when I am working, we need to split the chores because it's not just my house, it's his too? Or should I just repeat this whole last paragraph?

It sounds like he was this way before you were a SAHM, [2008-03-29]
and probably was this way before you married him. You cannot do everything yourself and you should not try. (He may not even know what he needs to do to help you and is just lashing out because he is stressed too.) You need to speak with him about this, but I'll leave that advice to others that have gone through similar situations. (I am a SMBC and do do everything myself, but I also do not have anyone complaining about my choice to fingerpaint with my child instead of scrubbing the floors.) In addition, maybe you can find a group of moms to get together with and socialize while the kids play, something like a Mommy and Me that would allow you to bring both your kids. Something that would get you out of the house where your kids would be safe and you could interact with other adults. You sound isolated and stressed. Just out of curiosity, what is/was his relationship with his mother like? Is she one of the do-everything for her family moms or did she delegate responsibility to her spouse and kids?