What happens if you don't do all that housework ...

What happens if you don't do all that housework? ... [2008-05-26]
Or if you refuse to do something? Can you/do you ever stand up for yourself? Are you afraid of him? Is he getting worse? Is there a chance he could become a wife beater? Just a few questions to ask yourself.

SAHM/WAHM and fairness, respect [2008-03-29]
I wouldn't call my position as a current SAHM terribly difficult. My toddler, while quite rowdy and misbehaved some days, is fairly content to entertain herself while I do housework. My newborn is a quiet one. My house is small and cleans rather quickly. There is a place for mostly everything, so there's not much clutter aside from my daughter's toys which migrate from her room to every other room in the house. I have to do laundry at my mother in law's because we don't have a washer/dryer, so my kids get to visit with their nana and papa while I wash the clothes. We have a fenced-in yard and there is a park two steps from my house so I don't have to pack the kids in the car to take them someplace to play. Some days I finish the housework so fast that I'm bored unless I'm creative and can find something for me and my toddler to do together (which is what I should be doing anyway). However, I do absolutely everything around my home, including on the weekends. My husband seems to think that because he works outside the home, he shouldnjust another bill. I take the girls to their wellness appointments. I change out the garbages. I keep up the garage and the yard. I check the mail. He puts our toddler to bed most nights because I'm nursing our newborn, but since he works late often I've been able to practice putting her to bed quickly enough so my newborn doesn't interrupt us by crying. He takes the garbage to the curb (most of the time). He's put the dishes away a handful of times. If I ask to go somewhere for some time alone, he'll watch our toddler for an hour or two (I don't ask for this often, but maybe I should?). He spends whatever he wants on computer games and fast food... I get nothing to spend on myself or the kids unless it's an absolute necessity. When I worked part time and was pregnant, I did everything. When I gave birth, he was forced to learn how to put our toddler to bed, so that's why he does that now. I try to sleep in but I can't with a toddler loose in the house and a hungry newborn. I'm feeling pretty run-down and lethargic lately, cooped up and lonely, insignificant and like I can't get anywhere. I'm about to start MT training and of course will still be expected to do everything around the house without any help and without any forgiveness should I miss something. I'm worried that even once I start working full time and the kids are in daycare, he's not going to lift a finger to help me out -- I'll have even less time after work to do all the chores on top of caring for the kids. I'm not looking forward to the arguments that will ensue if I fail to do the dishes one day or let the livingroom get a little cluttered. HeI better take care of that quick before he sees it as opposed to hey look there. one time when I was pregnant and started a valid argument with him about another topic, he resorted to pointing out my lack of housekeeping skills (which had nothing to do with the subject) in order to throw me off and upset me. I want to contribute to our household because we've been living off his income alone since January, but I feel that even working full time won't make him appreciate what I do for our children and our household. I am not ungrateful that he is our only income currently, but the only reason for this is because I just gave birth. Had I not done that, I would still be working right now, but there would still be an inequality in our relationship, and I don't know how much more I can take before I just shut down and shut him out completely. Any confrontation about how I feel leads to a shouting match and finger-pointing, so I just don't say anything at all. We just got married in October and I already see it going downhill if this continues. Any advice? How can I put it to him that I'm his wife and the mother of his children, not his 24-hour maid? That even though I'm not working, I still deserve respect and time to myself and a little money to spend on what I want? That when I am working, we need to split the chores because it's not just my house, it's his too? Or should I just repeat this whole last paragraph?

Kids and clean house... [2007-06-29]
I read a poem once about kids and keeping a clean house. I don and housework will always be there! Your kids will remember the time you spent with them, not how clean mom kept the house. Don't sweat the small stuff. I myself just straighten up daily like the poster below and worry about the major cleaning when I find the time or the desire to do so.

Keeping the house clean! [2007-06-20]
I have a 3-year-old and an 8-month-old at home, plus work FT nights as a QA. I am also still dealing with postpartum depression, I believe, and having a really hard time staying motivated to do anything, much less housework. How do you conquer being a WAHM in transcription and keeping the house neat? Any tips or advice on how to motivate myself to do it? And is it even possible to keep a house clean with a 3-year-old?! lol Thanks!

I have 1-1/2 year old twins [2006-07-29]
but I don't work full time. I work 24 hours a week. To work full time I would have to pay someone so the difference in the money makes PT worth it for me. I enjoy the extra time with the kids. When they go to school I will probably go back to full time. (I also have a pre-teen). I work for MedQuist, so my time is scheduled -- which is difficult. But so far so good. It can be done I'm sure. If you really have to work full time then see about getting a Mommy's helper (I'm assuming you work from home ?????). This is what my sister does with her toddler and newborn. Plus the babysitting does some light housework. Good luck, and let us know if you have more than 1 on the way!

I love my husband because he agreed to [2006-07-14]
marriage counseling so we can actually deal with a bunch of crap we've been through and repair the hurts and figure out how to make our marriage better. I also love him because he works hard, goes to school, cooks, works hard to make the house look nice (well, the OUTSIDE of it anyhow. He doesn't do housework), and because he cared for my Dad so wonderfully when he needed him to.