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don't lose your sense of self... [2008-03-30]
Wow, I totally feel for you! Have you thought about writing him a letter - maybe something like what you just wrote to all of us.. maybe on paper he will see it a little clearer... and if not, honey I would STOP doing ALL of it! Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP remember and by the way, it's not 1950 anymore. It takes two to keep things going and him providing the source of income, although huge and I'm sure you are greatful - is not the only thing that defines a man as a husband or a dad for that matter. My husband and I both work, we both contribute financially, and actually, I made more then him last year - that said, us women/moms will always do more then them, my husband does help and he does share in most of the duties... he has too. In our early years together I once had to tell him that I wasn't his maid, cook or sex slave and that that if I was going to feel alone in our relationship, well, then ALONE is what I would be and his ass would be gone. Needless to say, he heard me loud and clear and while we work very hard everyday to keep our marriage strong, it is work on both of our parts. Your husband has to help more... he has to realize that the longer this goes on, the more you end up resenting him! and truly is this they way you want your children to see you for the next 20 years? Get out of the house, role pennies to get the $20 bucks to get into the local moms club... do it for yourself, it sounds like you need it! Keep you chin up and fight your hardest to get through to him!
Yes...takes some strong will though!! sm [2008-10-28]
I have 5 childen at home of ages 2, 4, 13, 14, and 16. I have been doing transcription their entire lives. Your best bet, if you do not need the insurance, is to work on a part-time basis and go from there. Try the minimum number of hours and see how it works. Usually you can start adding hours. Being part time also relieves a lot of the stress and pressure we put on ourselves to achieve full-time status. It gives you the option to work 4 hours or more each day, but at least you know if you got your 4 hours in you will not lose your job! Most companies will gladly have you work extra hours if you ask. I always keep the little one contained close by. I gate off or close/lock doors to keep them contained nearby. I try to work facing whatever direction they are playing in. I try to find activities etc that keep them occupied. I cannot tell you how entertaining a roll of tape is for a child. They will go around taping up everything, including themselves, but provides a long period of entertainment and thus an uninterrupted time to work. If you want to do it, you can. Good luck! Email me at jerrilynoliver@yahoo.com if you want to talk more.
we lived with his parents one summer [2008-03-29]
and he did exactly nothing to help around her house. i remember when we were dating, his mom used to bark at him and his brother to do the chores but he would always wait until the last minute to do them. we had an apartment when i was pregnant the first time and he was the same way then -- but i was also a very nagging girlfriend and super depressed back then. we separated because we felt living together was hurting us. now i feel i've improved, i don't complain about anything ever and i'm very forgiving, but he seems to have gotten worse and almost expects me to do everything like it's common sense or something. his mom is very critical too however, the way he speaks to me, she speaks to her husband... i wish he'd paid attention to his stepdad growing up because that man is suzy homemaker, lemme tell ya. on top of working overtime, he still finds the energy to help keep the house clean, care for the dog, do all the lawncare and volunteer his time. my hubs just sits around it seems... and then calls me lazy.
i found a local moms club but i'm afraid to ask him for the 20 bucks it costs to be a member because any money i ever want to spend, he thinks is a worthless purchase. needless to say, i've armed myself with the advice of suze orman and as soon as i start working, i'm opening my own bank account. right now everything is in his name and i have no access to any of it. granted i was a bad spender in the past but i'm much better at that now. i don't buy a single thing without asking him first.
his mom also did everything for his 21-y/o brother who just moved out... to his dad's. ha.
i guess the most extreme measure i could take would be to stop doing everything for him -- stop cooking for him, stop doing his laundry, and stop washing the dishes he uses. think that would make him realize he was taking me for granted? i don't mind doing all these things, i just don't want him on my back if i miss something every now and then. the chores i can handle, the criticism i can't.
Anyone who is not happy with outsourcing... [2008-02-07]
...might want to consider Barack Obama for president: He says he will ensure that US companies that outsource work to other countries will LOSE the tax breaks.
Something to consider anyway.
This could really be an important issue to all medical transcriptionists.
Some ideas [2008-01-23]
These might work for you. I went to college and had three children and a full-time job (transcription). My employer let me work at home too and on a flex schedule, just had to get the work done and I aimed for weekends, but you may want to work pm - that works too. I had to be at the hospital at set times too, 6:00 - 3:30 three days a week for clinical and then two days a week at school all day long from 7:00 to about 4:00. I had my mom (thank God for moms) pick up my kids from school (they were a little older than yours). I picked them up from her house after I got out of school, about 4:30. I went home and then fed everyone, then baths were early and some homework and everyone had to go to bed early. Like at 7:00. They could leave the lights on and play with a toy or talk for a half-hour and then they had a half-hour of reading time - quietly after that and they mostly always fell asleep that way. I then had a few hours to do my homework (nursing school has lots of it) and clean up the kitchen, maybe type for an hour or two. I went to bed early as possible and listened to recorded lectures until I fell asleep. I got up every morning at 4:00 a.m. for four years. Even on the weekends. I listened to recorded lectures at those times and cleaned the house, made lunches, and did the laundry. It is peaceful at 4:00 a.m. and things you study are best remembered if you study for some reason. On weekends, I made up enough dinners for the rest of the week and froze them, typed reports for work (cramming 40 hours worth in is not easy. I did it with a little bit done during the week on lighter days, but for three hours without fail on Saturdays I went to the library to work on school stuff alone - my mom again! It helps to listen to lectures (recorded) while you drive and while you get ready in the mornings. I had a study group too (three of us) and that helped a lot. We divided up all the material we had learned before exam days and exchanged our notes and study materials in that way. I was married, but my husband was gone on business five days a week, so he was no help. Just get a pattern going and stick with it no matter what (except illness). It is easier to clean in the morning when kids are asleep. Get rid of all the extra toys and knick-knacks - you won't have to dust them or put them away if they aren't there. Make sure you have a freezer and a dishwasher because they are your best friends. If you can't fix dinner, eat out or get takeout, but be sure it does not become your only source of food. Plan ahead and you won't have to do that often. Sometimes I cheated and took all the clothes to the laundromat because you can do it all at once (like in two hours) in case that has fallen behind. Sometimes I thought I would lose it, but I didn't. I survived and graduated, did not get fired from my job and my kids are all okay. Take vitamins. Learn to like coffee! I never drank it until then. Good luck. You can do it!
Just left the MT WAHM profession and now wonder if I made a mistake.... [2008-01-01]
I did MT for two years, working in my home. I worked for a local clinic and had a lousy, mean boss.They were transitioning to EMR and there was major pressure on us to produce like crazy, or lose your job. I had enough and quit my job, as I couldn I made 20,000 a year BEFORE taxes, with no chance to make hardly anymore. Well, I quit and took a job with city government to work for the police dept as a 9-1-1, fire and police communications operator. The job posted that it would be nights, but in the interview, I was told it would be 2p-10pm. I have a 3-year-old son. I have started looking for childcare and I got that sick feeling in my stomach about finding AFFORDABLE and good quality childcare. I feel lost, and don The daycare I like costs 130/week and right now it will be a struggle to afford until we can make more money. I feel lost---I I don
My daughter had this problem. We [2007-05-25]
told her that new babies needed the binkies and since she was a big girl now she needed to give hers up for them. She alsosaw a pediatricdentist for a checkup and he said to get rid of it NOW. I had a bunch of them in the house because you lose one but buy 3 more to replace it. It was crazy. What we did was we told her she had to get rid of them and every day when she woke up she needed to pick out one from her bag of binkies,say good-bye to it and throw it away. Choosing one to throw away was the hardest part. That was the first thing she did each morning until they were gone. I hid one for safe keeping in case the crying was going to be unbearable the first night w/o one but she got through it okay.
Gone Nuts [2006-12-14]
Anyone else start going crazy from staying in the house so much? I do! With kids, it makes it even more difficult to find time away. We are on a tight budget, pay check to pay check, which makes it difficult to go out and spend 40 bucks on dinner....Summertime is much easier - any ideas for these deary, boring, winter months before I lose my mind!
60 independent ideas for preschoolers [2006-10-30]
This is from the cathswap yahoo group, Gwen one of the mods wrote it:HTH :) For what it's worth, I've compiled my list of 60 activities for my
preschooler to do independently while I'm doing lessons with Heather and/or
Jared. (If you're not homeschooling but still have a preschooler at home,
this may help you get some just for you time...)
Rachel will be encouraged to participate with our lessons as she wants to
or is capable (like listening to stories during Language Arts or History;
she can certainly do art but I'm not going to force it and hopefully these
activities will keep her occupied and out of trouble.
Feel free to pass this on to anyone else whom you think may find this
helpful.
Preschooler Ideas for Younger PAVCS Siblings - 3 and up
Since I'm using all the provided curriculum boxes for the kids (from K12), I
decided to take the biggest box --the one that the art clay, plaster of
Paris, etc. came in, and designate it my three year old's school box. This
way her school box is just like her siblings'. This box will ONLY be used at
school time, and will only be used at the table. You can take any box and
decorate it and make it the special box...brought out only at certain
times and each time having something different in it.
Inside will be her own pencil box that will have a set of markers, (crayola
washable, naturally) a pair of Fiskars kid scissors, a box of crayons, a
pencil, a pen, and a glue stick. Each day I will put some papers in there
for her to either color, cut up, paste things on, or practice writing
(simple mazes and such for her to follow, etc.)
Each week I'll put one or two interesting books that she will enjoy looking
at. There will also be one or two special activities that will change from
day to day, made up of (mostly) educational toys and stuff that I currently
have on hand but has been put away for a while.... Each day there'll be
something different to do, either loose in the box or in a zipper top Ziploc
bag (the kind with the slider zipper is easier for the kids to manipulate
than the traditional ones).
The idea of this box is for her to entertain herself with little or no
guidance from me while I work with her older siblings. She will more than
likely be participating with us during some lessons (she likes to play
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom with the phonics tiles, LOL) .
Here are some ideas for the activities. Some will be in a zippered bag, some
won't. I have 60 activities, so that I'll have enough for 2 per day per
month. At the end of the month I'll start over again. The key to the success
of these is to keep them a surprise and limit access to them so that the
novelty does NOT wear off. Some seemingly obvious things, like legos and
matchbox cars are missing from this list because they play with them almost
every day. I got the ideas for many of these activities from various
websites with preschoolers in mind. I do not have these in any particular
order. Obviously they need to be mixed up so there aren't a whole slew of
similar activities piggy backing day in and day out......Also, I'm not going
to insult your intelligence by reminding you about choking hazards, which
some of these activities may contain...use your common sense based upon your
child, and you'll be fine!...
1. sock match...several pairs of colorful infant socks that she's outgrown
in the bag to match up or just play with. If I know her she'll have them on
her hands and feet for half an hour.
2. dominoes...to build with and do who knows what with...
3. Discovery Toys Tinyville Magnets (these are magnets in shapes like
people, vehicles, animals, buildings, cloud, stars, moon, etc...) and the
magnetic white board
4. Play Doh, with geometric shaped cookie cutters
5. Play Doh with farm animal cookie cutters
6. Paint in a bag...put two colors of paint in a doubled Ziploc bag, seal it
with clear tape, and let her squish them to mix the colors. There will be a
couple of different color combinations
7. More magnets --from a magnet kit...lots of different plane figures and a
magnetic base to build upon
8. Blues Clues Cards there are nine sets of four cards, three clues that
go with one card. Got these at a dollar store that was going out of
business...got them for 50 cents! :-)
9. Mixies cards (11 sets of three different cards that form a
picture...these came from somebody's birthday party favor bag)
10. Puzzle Pairs (Discovery Toys two piece puzzles of things that go
together, like a sock and foot, sink and soap, etc)
11. Memory...for Rachel I'll probably only give her 24 cards at a time as
opposed to the full set of 72; this way I can get 3 activities from one
memory game and she won't be overwhelmed!
12. Animal Lotto..she can match up all the animals on the boards...
13. Spirit jigsaw puzzle...I printed out a horse picture colored to look
like Spirit and am gluing it to felt, then cutting it out in simple shapes
for her to put together. I will probably put a couple more like this in
there too.
14. Pattern blocks (mine are from K12; easily obtained from curriculum
suppliers for a few bucks)
15. Wooden Geometric Solids...these will keep her occupied for at least a
half hour; as with above, easily obtained from suppliers, often for under
$10 for a nice set of 12 hardwood blocks
16. Math linking cubes- these are the multi link cubes, not unifix cubes.
The multi link cubes are connectable all the way around, unlike unifix cubes
that only connect one way.
17. Lincoln Logs
18. dry rice with a funnel, measuring cup, measuring spoon, and containers
19. Lacing beads with shoe laces (the long heavy duty ones from Glenn's old
workboots work really well)
20. Giant pegboard and rubber bands
21.Rubber stamps with farm animals
22. Rubber stamps with numbers
23. Discovery Toys Playful Patterns
24. Discover Toys AB Seas alphabet fishing game
25. Discovery Toys Itsy Bitsy Spider Game
26 Discovery Toys Bright Builders (being a former consultant has its
advantages!)
27. Stickers! Lots of STICKERS. Draw shapes on a piece of paper and give
lots of tiny stickers to fill in the shapes with. You could also write the
child's name on there to put stickers on each letter...so the name shows up
in stickers. the smaller the sticker the better as it takes more time to
fill them in.
28. Animal cards...you know those clubs where you get wildlife cards? Well
I picked up half a set at a yardsale and the kids love looking at the
pictures...that should keep her busy for 20 minutes
29. Mr and Mrs Potato Head Not sure if it's educational, but it should keep
her busy for a half hour, hopefully. LOL
30. Bucket of Goop (three parts cornstarch to one part water) in a small
empty oxyclean bucket with a scoop, funnel, graduated cylinder from K12, and
another container to pour the goop into. Messy and fun but easy to clean up.
31. Watercolor paints I miss those old Paint with water books where all
you had to do was have a paintbrush and water. The new ones come with a set
of watercolors attached, but in this case, I'd really like the books with
the pictures already colored and you just swipe it with a wet brush to
paint. Maybe lacking in creativity, but hey. After painting one picture
Rachel will probably have the paint set ruined by not rinsing out the
brush...my idea here is for her do to something WITHOUT guidance from
me...oh well...
32. Lacing cards. Using the shoe laces from the lacing beads. I'll cut out
shapes from light weight cardboard and cover with contact paper before
punching holes in it. Someone else suggested using old bleach bottles but
I'm afraid that cutting them up will ruin my scissors. LOL
33. Felt shapes and felt board...using cookie cutters and other things as
patterns, I'll make some little people and geometric shapes for her to play
with. I'll cover a piece of sturdy cardboard with felt.
Bananas for the Monkeys Original Author Unknown: Cut five monkey shapes out
of brown felt and fifteen banana shapes out of yellow felt. Number the
monkeys from 1 to 5 and place them on flannel board. Have the children
identify the number on each monkey and place that many bananas in front of
it.
34. Puppets in a Bag --yarn, facial features already cut out, a brown lunch
sack, and some glue...a puppet kit!
35. Glue, Yarn, and shapes...sorry, no creative name for this. I'll draw
some shapes on construction paper and give her a small (the tiny size)
bottle of Elmer's glue to squeeze onto the lines I drew (helps build small
motor coordination) and then she can put the yarn on the shapes. Other
times, do this with her name, or a house, or something similar. I buy the
tiny bottles once, then get the more economical bigger bottles to refill
with later as needed. I don't even buy Elmer's half the time.
36. Collage in a bag...rip out some magazine pages with interesting pictures
for her to cut out and paste on a piece of paper...maybe following a certain
theme...like one time have it all healthy foods...another time, families and
kids, animals, flowers, etc.
37. Bean Sort - Since she's pretty much beyond sticking a bean up her nose
and requiring Glenn to remove it with needle nose pliers, I figure this is
now a safe activity for her to do with only moderate supervision. (yes
that's what happened and I got rid of our Don't Spill The Beans Game after
Heather and I were traumatized by this. Rachel, interestingly, didn't care
too much one way or the other. Heather was much more mortified by the sight
of her daddy heading toward Rachel's nose with those pliers...I didn't look.
:) ) Lots of different beans in a bucket for her to measure, pour, sort, and
throw on the floor for me to vacuum up.
38. Eyedropper, small container of water, and a mini ice cube tray or
Styrofoam egg carton. If you're feeling adventurous, use colored water to
make it interesting. Demonstrate how to use the eyedropper both to fill and
empty the cups... Would also work well with mini muffin tins, I suppose...
39. Colored Pasta - color your own pasta, using wheels or any other pasta
that has large openings (easy to lace.) Use small amount of rubbing alcohol
and several drops of food coloring in an airtight container or Ziploc. Leave
the pasta in for a few minutes ; shaking it up or stirring a few times. Take
it out to dry in a single layer. . then provide laces to string them up. You
could provide some color or shape patterns on cards to duplicate.
40. Penny Count (source:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Aegean/3446/keeplittleones.html) I will make
a more compact version on a single sheet of paper, and use circles the same
size as the counting tokens (bingo chips) that came from PAVCS...match the
colors and number amounts! But I thought the whole idea was pretty neat:
Make a poster board showing cells of numbers. Example: Draw a square,
write 1 in it. Draw or tape down 1 penny in the square. Do the same with
each square...up to ten or twenty...your choice. I'd start with 10 first and
then draw two more squares at a time up to twenty as child gets better at
this skill.
2) Give your child a basket or plastic container of pennies and have him
match up pennies that you have put down with the picture in each square.
(Ex. In the 2 cell, he would put below your example 1, 2 pennies in a
one-to-one correspondence. Check him when he is done by having him count
each cell with you. Repetition is what teaches counting!
3) Eventually test your child by showing him only a number 3 printed on
a index card and have him lay down 3 pennies and say 3. You might even
write the word three along with the number 3 back in step one so that
the child is learning a sight vocabulary word along with the printed 3.
You would only do this if your child already knows the alphabet though. Then
you could hold up a card that says three and see if he can lay the correct
pennies down when seeing the word too.
41. Super ball or small car and a paper towel or Christmas paper tube. If
you feel creative you could make a marble run of sorts with a couple tubes
(see www.familyfun.com) I probably won't...she'll be happy enough with this.
Why get more complicated than you need to? I could also let her color it
with markers if she wanted.
42. Magnet and paperclips, washers, a nail, etc.
43. A large (big enough to climb in) box. 'Nuff said.
44. A giant piece of paper (or PAVCS posterboard) to color on...whatever
desired...just give the paper and markers and you're set.
45. Lots of colored pom poms and tweezers to sort them out...look for
tweezers that will be easy for little hands to manipulate, like the ones
that come with the game Bed Bugs...heck, look for the Bed Bugs game. LOL
46. Treasure Hunt: large pot or box filled with corn meal, oat meal, rice,
etc, with small treasures hidden inside...individually wrapped candy,
coins, Barbie shoes, game pieces, etc. Make a picture checklist with all the
items to find!
47. Colored Straws and scissors: nothing more to say. LOL straws are good
for scissor practice because one snip and you have instant results. Provide
Elmer's glue and paper and it's time to make a mosaic!
48. Discovery Toys Busy Bugs This can be duplicated with any manipulative,
but I just got the game off ebay for $10. Might be able to find something
similar in a homeschool catalog... kind of like the penny poster above, just
using something different to play with and put the problems on index cards
instead of the poster. You could use stuff around the house like coins,
counters, buttons, pasta...make up index cards with patterns to
duplicate/put simple problems on there: show items with number and number
word under it, or do a simple problem like 2+2= etc...... This activity will
be accompanied by a couple bug books and hopefully a neat bug video from the
library!
49. Sticks, chunks of moss, rocks, leaves...with small rubber animals or
dinosaurs...add some sand in a 9x13 baking pan...don't worry about sand on
the floor...that's what vacuum cleaners are for!!!!! On a nice day do all
your school work outside...heck, let the older kid SKIP schoolwork to do
this outside... :-)
50. Magnetic Treasure Hunt: like the treasure hunt (#46) above, only this
time use metal items and a magnet to attract them! Be sure your magnet isn't
too strong or your kid will get several treasures at once!
51. Memory 2 see activity 11
53 Memory 3 see activity 11
54. Checkers and a small purse/canvas bag.... Checkers are cool cause they
stack. If you can get more than two dozen, that's even better. Dollar stores
often have checker games.
55. Chess pieces. Get a cheap chess/checkers game or two at the dollar
store. Rachel likes to play with the pieces like they're alive. :-)
56. Magnetic Marbles I picked these up at a dollar store. Amazing the things
you find at these places! I know that they'll be interesting for at least
fifteen to twenty minutes...maybe more.
57. Popsicle sticks and Elmer's glue. Bob the builder at your service! Real
cool if you have colored sticks...or just color them with markers when done.
This is great for eye hand coordination and small motor building. You could
put the glue in a small plastic cup or on a paper plate and have child apply
it with a cotton swab to avoid excessive glue....
58. Rubber Stamps with letters
59. Viewmaster and reels --I'm trying to collect educational rather than
twaddle reels (cartoon characters = twaddle). I want to find reels of
animals and places that are real.
60. Farm Animals and Barn. Our barn was being abused (read: animals left all
over the house) plus we really don't have shelf space for the barn to be out
all the time. So I'll bring it out from time to time...maybe when nothing
else is working and Rachel is being a real pill.
I had one other activity but I forgot what it was. :-P I thought of it after
I shut the computer down for the night and made a note to add it here when I
got up in the morning. HA!
Hopefully we won't need two of these every day, making them last even
longer. Having them all ready in their bags will be handy too...
Other suggested ideas: set up a play store with empty food boxes; book and
tapes; educational videos, painting with water and a paintbrush, cleaning
windows, kitchen chair tunnels, puppet theater,
One thing I am going to try not to worry about is THE MESS with some of
these activities. Messes happen. Elmer's, crayola markers, and watercolors
wash off. Sand and rice vacuums up. (You'll note I didn't put finger paints
or tempera paint activities here...#1, that's not recommended without
supervision...because tempera stains...and #2...well, tempera stains. LOL
I've chosen things that will have a moderate clean up factor, if any. I may
even let Rachel use the vacuum hose to clean up any spills...the other two
will probably fight her for the privilege. LOL And when they're old enough
to actually handle the vacuum, it's no longer fun for them and they don't
want to do it!
Hve you ever thought about daycare? [2006-10-29]
It may be expensive but if you were able to take them just three or four hours a day so that you could actually get something done and not lose your sanity, you might find you don't mind having to pay a babysitter. I've worked at home since I was pregnant with my son and my daughter was just about 2 so I understand about having little ones at home. Thankfully they are both in school now but I totally understand them not understanding your job being important but being so young you can't really expect them to understand too much, all they really see is that you're not paying attention to them which is probably the reason for your middle son's attitude, I'm married to a middle son and I can tell you he still acts like that . Anyway, daycare may be something to look into, it would probably be cheaper than a leave of absence.
you don't need to give solids until six months because [2006-09-26]
they don't need supplemental iron until 6 months. Plus they don't get teeth until 5 months so solids don't even make sense until then. Too bad you're aren't nursing. You don't have to give food until 1 year if you are nursing, just supplemental iron starting at 6 months. Just had this topic in my pediatrics nursing class so I am up to speed on this one, believe me.
Do you guys actually keep your [2006-08-26]
Every time I mention that I work from home, people always say, oh that's so good that you can work from home and have more time with your kids. Actually, I take my youngest to daycare. I couldn't foresee being ableto work with her here all day. She's almost 18 months old. I try to work a bit extra in the evening and it's nearly impossible. My 6 year old is pretty self-sufficient, so he's alright, but I was just wondering how you do it with a youngster like this and maintain your income (and your sanity!)? It would definitely be nice to have the extra $500 a month I put into daycare, but I fear I'd lose that much or moreif she were here.
Only my oldest really took to a pacifier....sm [2006-07-18]
my other two took a certain shapeand then not for very long at all. Anyway, my DD loved hers, but would often lose them. At about the age of 2 y/o she had several (as we would often find the lost one after getting new one). Her understanding was pretty good soat this point when I thoughtit needed to gowhen she lost one I just did not replace it until she lost the last one and I just told her I did not know where it was...that it was lost. She asked a couple of times for it and again I would tell her it was lost and I had not found it yet, but that I would keep lookingand that was the end of that. Soon after she didnt ask anymore. She never cried or threw a fit or anything...just kind of gave up on finding it. HTH
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