now I am scared of the things to come...

now I am scared of the things to come... [2008-01-29]
my daughter is 17 months old and knock on wood she doesn't start wanting to play at 2:00 in the morning...my son never did that but they have two totally different personalities...but if she does wake up I will send her your way for donuts and milk---LOL

Hey, you asked. More important things to think [2008-01-19]
x

Hmm, sounds like a boy thing...have 3 myself, but little girls. THEY do things like sm [2007-06-12]
wash the hamster with my expensive shampoo, then blow-dry him....drop an apple in the toilet and flush Gotta love Keep breathing!

What kind of things come up? (sm) [2007-05-27]
I was curious because I think we working at home need to evaluate our time very carefully and make sure we are the ones in control of it. I got called a lot for a while by family needing me to do things or sometimes just wanting to talk to me, and finally I started screening my calls because I too was facing a stack of reports at night and I hated it. I've seen a lot of MTs in this biz over the years manage (or not manage) their time in such a way that they were transcribing every night while their kids clamored for their attention. They paid for it dearly in the teenage years. In my opinion, the time of your life that you are missing is enjoying your children while they are young. You only get one shot at that. I work really hard to stay gets off work.

Things that come up... [2007-05-27]
The things that come up are mostly related to the kids....sick, school activities, babysitter closed, etc. The time of my life I am missing is my own also. I never have any down time. If I'm not working I am tending to their needs all the time. I don't know how to get them to get along. My 19 yo was a great kid and still is and I never had any problems out of him. The two girls on the other hand fight like cats and dogs. I never have time to just sit down to read, cross stitch, play my musical instruments or anything anymore. I feel like in the last 7 years I have totally lost the person I once was and it has caused me to resent even thinking of having kids at this age. I see other moms and couples able to go out and have fun because their kids are grown and I'm stuck here at the house typing and changing diapers. I really need some advice that works for my situation. It's not about managing my time because I have no time to manage.

How are things going? nm [2006-11-17]
x

A few things to try [2006-08-14]
I have 2 girls and both have slept in our bed. One thing you can try is starting him out in your bed then moving him to his own bed in theearly morningso that he wakes up in his own bed and thinks he slept there. Then, tell him how proud you are of him for being a big boy and see if he responds to that. You can also try moving the toddler bed into your bedroom to train him to sleep there beside you. Maybe if he knows you are close by, he may feel more comfortable and secure. Another thing that I found with my kids is that it's the warmth that they feel beside you. My daughter says, Mommy it's just not warm enough in there. When they are moved to a cold bed, they wake upfeeling uncomfortable. You can also try to put a heating pad in his bed to warm it up, then remove it when you put him to bed so he feels cozy and warm when you lie him down. My oldest is in her bed all the time and it didn't take much to get her there. She wanted to sleep in her own room when she started preschool. Good luck!! Hope it helps.

first step [2008-06-14]
Brooke: I want to commend you on going to church and the strides you are making to show a good example. But that may not be quite enough. It sounds as if your husband has an inkling that he needs to make some changes . However, I do still think that the suggestion for martial counseling with your pastor is important. From some of you have said it does sound like there are a few more seriuos issues than him simply taking you for granted. You make it sound as if he is controlling all the fiances and your behavior and actions through that. Now I understand being frugal but you stated he can spend what he wants but you afraid to even ask for 20 dollars to joint a Momgood now. But remember, again you are to be viewed in terms of good or bad or imply you deserve certain treatment do to past mistakes. In the end you shoudl provide for your future. I think every woman does need a saftey plan for financial security. Working part-time would provide you money to buy some things for yourself and also to join group. You need social support. Right now you are essentially isolated other than your husband and family. What about joinign a MOPS group through church? I am not sure, but dont' think there is a charge. You need a group of supportive peole other than your husband. Keep going to church - maybe your husband might get into the men's minsitry. This could serve two-fold. He could see and model from Chrisian men how they interact aand also how they treat their wives. It would also give him a social outlet. The two of you going out without kids is also good. remember so a combinatin of things. One thing (such as date night or occasional church service) isn't going to work. Pray together. Have yourchurch family pray for you. I undersatnd divorce is not an option. I salute your committment to your marriage but your husband has to be as committed. It cannot just be about YOU making changes. So pray for his change of heart and try to actively involve him. YOu must communicate with him. Not yell, no walk on egg shells. If you are afraid to talke to him why? Has he been abusive/ Were you abused in the past by someone? AGain if this the case you need immediate intervention. Bottom line God asks men to love their wives but he did not say control their wives or belittle their wives. Women should suport and love their husbands as head of household but not be afraid of them or cower to them....

I read that book long ago... [2008-05-21]
Really helped me understand why they are the way they are, but some stuff will not happen that she has me doing. They do need to be told things out right. I have found that my husband and I usually have very poor verbal communication skills, but using the computer to talk can help if you are trying to get away from the screaming and pointing. You need to stay on task when typing what you need from him (don't start ranting and raving). Words do come through on the screen, and since that seems to be his medium of choice it may just work. If all else fails, leave him alone with your children for a few days, if you trust him. Like you say he is home on the weekends. I know that it can be hard since you are nursing, but get a breast pump and get that baby use to a bottle. They still get all the benefits of you without you needing to be there. If he still belittles you than maybe marrying him was not the right thing to do and you need to search yourself to see what needs to be done. Beginning MTs have a lot of work to be done and the schooling work is not easy if you truly go through a good program. Do let him know that you are having second thoughts about this marriage as you thought you were getting a life partner, not a dictator. Hope this helps. My husband knows better. I can go forever without cleaning if he pisses me off. I started by not washing his clothes. He wanted clean clothes he could wash them himself, that was before children when we were both working. He got the picture then.

During the summer I work early a.m. for the majority of my lines usually 4-9 a.m. [2008-04-02]
If I have not hit my line count, I typically pick up the rest at night after the kids are in bed. We do the day camp, summer activities and classes, swim lessons, etc., but I could never get into a good rhythm in the short periods between getting everyone ready to go and playing chauffeur all day long. It really is easier for me to split my shift and work when there are not other things going on.

Counseling with pastor? [2008-04-01]
There is a fine line between constant criticism and verbal abuse. I don For girls, you don For boys, you don I think it's great that you are about to start MT training and wish you all the best. If you want to make things work with your husband, it seems like you may benefit from an objective third party. Your pastor This may be a good source to have someone to go to couples therapy with, especially if cost would be an issue which it sounds like with your husband. I would also sit and discuss your finances with your husband at some point. Not having access to household funds except through him is not responsible. If he were to have an accident and get laid up for awhile, how would you pay the bills? Just some things to think about.

update [2008-03-31]
thank you all for your encouragement and advice. we haven't been going to church regularly lately and i've realized maybe we need it, so i packed the kids up and we went to church (he came too, usually i get up and get the kids ready and tell him an hour before i leave that if he's not ready by then i'm leaving without him -- he sleeps in on weekends, as i said before). so we go to church and guess what the sermon is about... marital disharmony. our pastor listed some things that cause disharmony and one of them was unrealistic expectations. i listed mine as expecting him to be home more often to spend more time with us. he asked if i wanted us to spend more time together, and i said yes. so he convinced his mom to take the girls and then took me out to dinner, and told me he would try to do something with me once a week. another thing the pastor said was not to criticize differences, to embrace them and celebrate them. he didn't make any comments about it but i'm hoping if he paid attention to the expectations part that maybe he paid attention to this too. i've told him before that i can't take constant criticism, it breaks me down and makes me feel worthless. i do realize keeping my mouth shut for the sake of peace and quiet isn't going to get us anywhere. one day it's all going to add up and i'm not going to know what i'm doing here anymore. if he can keep making little steps like he did yesterday, then i can keep setting an example and look forward to his slow maturity. i do have some childhood banks my mom gave me recently, filled with coins -- i'm going to take them in to be counted asap.

don't lose your sense of self... [2008-03-30]
Wow, I totally feel for you! Have you thought about writing him a letter - maybe something like what you just wrote to all of us.. maybe on paper he will see it a little clearer... and if not, honey I would STOP doing ALL of it! Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP remember and by the way, it's not 1950 anymore. It takes two to keep things going and him providing the source of income, although huge and I'm sure you are greatful - is not the only thing that defines a man as a husband or a dad for that matter. My husband and I both work, we both contribute financially, and actually, I made more then him last year - that said, us women/moms will always do more then them, my husband does help and he does share in most of the duties... he has too. In our early years together I once had to tell him that I wasn't his maid, cook or sex slave and that that if I was going to feel alone in our relationship, well, then ALONE is what I would be and his ass would be gone. Needless to say, he heard me loud and clear and while we work very hard everyday to keep our marriage strong, it is work on both of our parts. Your husband has to help more... he has to realize that the longer this goes on, the more you end up resenting him! and truly is this they way you want your children to see you for the next 20 years? Get out of the house, role pennies to get the $20 bucks to get into the local moms club... do it for yourself, it sounds like you need it! Keep you chin up and fight your hardest to get through to him!

I am going to urge you to get counseling soon. [2008-03-30]
Please don't take this the wrong way, but there are a number of things you have said in your posts that indicate you would benefit from speaking with a counselor. Especially, where you say that you have improved and then speak about not complaining ever and being very forgiving. You need to take care of yourself. There should be services that are either free or prorated in your area. Also, you cannot make any relationship better by being the only one willing to change, especially when those changes are superficial.

we lived with his parents one summer [2008-03-29]
and he did exactly nothing to help around her house. i remember when we were dating, his mom used to bark at him and his brother to do the chores but he would always wait until the last minute to do them. we had an apartment when i was pregnant the first time and he was the same way then -- but i was also a very nagging girlfriend and super depressed back then. we separated because we felt living together was hurting us. now i feel i've improved, i don't complain about anything ever and i'm very forgiving, but he seems to have gotten worse and almost expects me to do everything like it's common sense or something. his mom is very critical too however, the way he speaks to me, she speaks to her husband... i wish he'd paid attention to his stepdad growing up because that man is suzy homemaker, lemme tell ya. on top of working overtime, he still finds the energy to help keep the house clean, care for the dog, do all the lawncare and volunteer his time. my hubs just sits around it seems... and then calls me lazy. i found a local moms club but i'm afraid to ask him for the 20 bucks it costs to be a member because any money i ever want to spend, he thinks is a worthless purchase. needless to say, i've armed myself with the advice of suze orman and as soon as i start working, i'm opening my own bank account. right now everything is in his name and i have no access to any of it. granted i was a bad spender in the past but i'm much better at that now. i don't buy a single thing without asking him first. his mom also did everything for his 21-y/o brother who just moved out... to his dad's. ha. i guess the most extreme measure i could take would be to stop doing everything for him -- stop cooking for him, stop doing his laundry, and stop washing the dishes he uses. think that would make him realize he was taking me for granted? i don't mind doing all these things, i just don't want him on my back if i miss something every now and then. the chores i can handle, the criticism i can't.

Walgreens [2008-03-12]
I just posted this on the gab board too: I was wondering if any of you know how to shop and get tons of free items or nearly free from walgreens!? I just started2 weeks ago and iare no fees or whatever other people trying to make money do! =) Just passing on some fantastic ways to save money and get some pretty cool things.

I do!!!!! [2008-01-30]
I love my boys and don't want to miss all the funny little things that they do at every age. I am going to let them go into a small daycare part time for the socialization. I won't let the little one go until he has started walking though. I am his mom... I get to see him conquer that milestone 1st.

Some ideas [2008-01-23]
These might work for you. I went to college and had three children and a full-time job (transcription). My employer let me work at home too and on a flex schedule, just had to get the work done and I aimed for weekends, but you may want to work pm - that works too. I had to be at the hospital at set times too, 6:00 - 3:30 three days a week for clinical and then two days a week at school all day long from 7:00 to about 4:00. I had my mom (thank God for moms) pick up my kids from school (they were a little older than yours). I picked them up from her house after I got out of school, about 4:30. I went home and then fed everyone, then baths were early and some homework and everyone had to go to bed early. Like at 7:00. They could leave the lights on and play with a toy or talk for a half-hour and then they had a half-hour of reading time - quietly after that and they mostly always fell asleep that way. I then had a few hours to do my homework (nursing school has lots of it) and clean up the kitchen, maybe type for an hour or two. I went to bed early as possible and listened to recorded lectures until I fell asleep. I got up every morning at 4:00 a.m. for four years. Even on the weekends. I listened to recorded lectures at those times and cleaned the house, made lunches, and did the laundry. It is peaceful at 4:00 a.m. and things you study are best remembered if you study for some reason. On weekends, I made up enough dinners for the rest of the week and froze them, typed reports for work (cramming 40 hours worth in is not easy. I did it with a little bit done during the week on lighter days, but for three hours without fail on Saturdays I went to the library to work on school stuff alone - my mom again! It helps to listen to lectures (recorded) while you drive and while you get ready in the mornings. I had a study group too (three of us) and that helped a lot. We divided up all the material we had learned before exam days and exchanged our notes and study materials in that way. I was married, but my husband was gone on business five days a week, so he was no help. Just get a pattern going and stick with it no matter what (except illness). It is easier to clean in the morning when kids are asleep. Get rid of all the extra toys and knick-knacks - you won't have to dust them or put them away if they aren't there. Make sure you have a freezer and a dishwasher because they are your best friends. If you can't fix dinner, eat out or get takeout, but be sure it does not become your only source of food. Plan ahead and you won't have to do that often. Sometimes I cheated and took all the clothes to the laundromat because you can do it all at once (like in two hours) in case that has fallen behind. Sometimes I thought I would lose it, but I didn't. I survived and graduated, did not get fired from my job and my kids are all okay. Take vitamins. Learn to like coffee! I never drank it until then. Good luck. You can do it!

These freeze! [2008-01-23]
Enchiladas, Shepard Pie, Spaghetti sauce, Meatballs, and meaty mix which is just ground sirloin cooked, salt, pepper, and onions and put into little baggies and defrosted to make lots of stuff (chili, tacos, spaghetti sauce, etc). Soups freeze too (except cream soups) and chili is a frozen wonder. Just make a salad and heat up bread and there you are. Lasagne freezes well. Chicken and polenta stew freezes too. Stuffed peppers, homemade burritos, and now I am too hungry to go on. I am sorry you are so tired. Are you taking medications? There are a few antidepressants that give energy back and I hope you are on one. Maybe you could go to community college and meet people, get out of the house and take more than one class at a time so it goes faster. It is probably cheaper too! But no matter what, just do it. Sometimes it is so hard to keep going forward, but then imagine how good it will feel when you are finished! When I finished I was over the moon for three days, then reality hit and I was bored out of my mind for about a month or two. I was so used to structure. There is too the imposter feeling that comes on - it is so strange to think that you are done and you have a degree. That lasted about four months. Then, it is supposed to all level out for the most part. It is hard to do all these things you do, raise kids, school, work, so make sure you have a support network. People who know all the bad things about you, but love you anyway! They help to keep you on track. Just do everything you can do ditch the depression and go forward, just try to organize and plan ahead, making time for you too!

Manic Mamma - Most of us have been there [2008-01-22]
My Tips: Don Let them make a mess and only clean it up all at one time. Try to structure time, which I know is difficult. Mine were 5 years apart, but I put a table and chairs next to my desk and had them doing things there. I had to learn to also have noise and TV playing in background while I typed. Employee probably doesn't allow much flexibility for you, but you may need to find something that allows you a larger window to get the work done. God bless ya Mine are 13 and 8 now and pretty much busy themselves. They have adjusted well to my working at home, but I am not an employee with set hours.

That is just ridiculous...all names have different spellings... [2008-01-19]
some like the regular spellings and others like to spell them just a tad different...doesn't make people dumb or illiterate...I have never thought someone was dumb or illiterate for spelling a name different...obviously I have much more important things to think about then what people name their children or how they spell it...

Yes... [2008-01-18]
I have been through the same thing. I am a mother of two who has had some schooling, but mostly trained on the job. I am self-employed, as well. While working for a national, I was told that I couldn't take the time to feed my baby, or even have a bathroom break...YES I WAS TOLD THAT. So, I left and decided to do things on my own. What I do is sit down and list every activity we have going on for that week (we even play 2 basketball games on Saturdays and have lots of traveling to do that day) and fit work in. I typically like to work M-F, but there are times when I work on Saturday, as well. I have a 24-hour TAT, so as long as I get my work in on time, I am doing okay...still having time with my family and time for work, as well. As far as Holidays, I don't totally write them off of my schedule..if I have work available then after I spend time with my family and the kids have gone to bed, I work. It can be very frustrating, but once you find the balance between home (family) and work, you will feel free as a bird (and less overwhelmed). I sure hope this helps!

traditional doesn't have to = boring [2008-01-17]
my kids have it's Czech. pronounced ahn-DYELL, if that helps), i know how it can be, so i chose unique traditional names for my kids. good luck finding something that fits. choosing names is one of my favorite things about having babies! :D

Why don't you try working a little bit on the side. [2008-01-08]
If you find a company that is more lenient with your schedule, you may be able to make ends meet and also keep your skills going. It is hard at first, but then all of a sudden things will start to click. I think the pressure you feel is natural, and I think your husband does have a point if you are only making $6.00 an hour. He probably feels that you You are worth way more, but you may have to give a little to get a little at this point.

I'd have to agree with this wise post. [2008-01-08]
I agree with the work environment. Thank goodness my Momma didn I found clever ways to integrate work, child rearing, and ways to rest my body between typing stints. I consider myself a productive MT when I need to be. I do not work for a national, but I would if I had to and lost the accounts I have for myself. It wouldn I am no where near retirement, but I It is definitely a skill and I learn something new every day! The OP, hang in there. This is a changing profession, but some things hold true liek this poster points out. Henry Ford said it best, �Whether you think you can, or think you can�t�you�re right.�

taking naps [2007-12-21]
I guess I am lucky. I have a 2 1/2-year-old that takes a 1 hour nap in the morning and a 10-month-old that takes a 1-hour nap in the morning and a 1-hour nap in the afternoon. They both go to bed at 6:00 p.m. and wake up at 5:00-5:30 a.m. They are very good sleepers, just like me. I work very hard to keep this schedule for them because I need to have my evenings free to type and catch up on whatever else I need to do. I have never had a babysitter because I have scheduled them so strictly regarding naps that I have from 6:30 p.m. on free. I I am home at nap times and I don I don It restricts my time to do things during the day, but it is what works best for me in order to have my evenings. Even if my toddler doesn Sometimes she doesn't sleep, but it's good for her to have that time to settle down. I'm sure this is not the ideal situation for many, but it is what works for me!!

I've always done extremely well. sm [2007-12-21]
I've done MT work now for just over 20 years. I've worked in the virtual environment for more than 15. Since going home, I increased my income drastically and the last 6 years have earned in the mid $50s to low $60s each year. It depends on a variety if things: How well you can utilize the information you have used; how much you consciously learn on the job; how tenacious you are at projects; how in control you are of your work environment - meaning your family life, your desk, anyone or anything intruding on your work life. It also has to do a little with accounts but with good experience you can do the toughest of accounts. I think my best characteristics for doing so well include my attitude that I'm going to get the pay I want regardless of what others do. I don't care how much anyone else whines or complains or what their personal opinion is of the company I work for, the accounts I do, this field, etc. It works for me and I'm going to make what I want. I am also fiercely protective of my work time. If you want to integrate child-rearing and housekeeping and family accessibility with work, you'll never ever make any decent money. Put the kids in daycare, tell the relatives not to call or drop by during your work hours, get caller ID and don't answer unless it is a death or limb-threatening situation. Not everyone will have the talent to be in the top at this craft or any other but you can certainly make an excellent living at it. Final piece of advice: Do not become cynical. If you feel yourself gravitating toward negative feelings -- and you've already expressed that -- stay away from the sources contributing to those feelings -- chatboards and people with negativity. You'll do just fine!!

I did very well my first year and beyond [2007-12-07]
Stay away from the companies! Try for local clinics and hospitals first. You get better feedback, more experience and better pay! I was able to work at home though I did start out doing some things in the office. It still takes time and ALOT of committment to learn, but it can be done.

Yes, I do that now and then. [2007-10-24]
Makes me feel like such a dope. My sister got preggers at 38 and I think again at 40, but lost that one. She has a friend who was accidentally pregnant at the same time, I think at age 42 (though she looks very young). She was sensitive about it, per my sister, and had been so happy that my sister was in the same boat (my sister had been excited about it, but miscarried). Women tend to like to have things in common with other women, so it is hard to be alone in something like that. In the future I'm sure you will be much more sensitive and supportive, and maybe that will make all the difference for the next one you meet. Trouble is there are so many ways our mouths get us in trouble. I remember asking a family member (a nurse) one time why people became alcoholics - didn't they understand it was no solution and would harm their bodies?? You guessed it - the person had been drinking since she was 12. Found out a decade later.

In the same boat working from home. [2007-10-14]
I feel guilty if I work and guilty if I attend the baseball game. My kids are 13 and 8, and they are involved in things, but I wouldn You only get one chance at it, and then they grow older. I My kids have adjusted. It is so funny because if I Or theyno work MOM? Ia break too ya know.... It takes a lot of strength to be a work at home Mom, and hang in there OP, it

I've been trying to figure that out too... [2007-10-11]
I guess this is a kind of an old post, but hopefully you I work as an IC for a smallMTSO making 8 cents per 65-character line, and I really like the company, but I really need to make more money. I am doing some work for a local counselor and am charging her 10 cents per 65-character line. I would really like to make 12 cents per line as well, but 10 cents for psych reports is actually paying pretty well. I got a call from a local nurse practitioner Her office manager said she paid the last lady 8 cents per line, but I From my own rough estimate, 8 cents per gross line is equal to about 12 to 13 cents per 65-character line for the clinic reports that I I think they are calling me next week, so I will let you know what happens. I guess they are very unhappy with their current Transcriptionist - she is backed up to June, and she has a 7-day turnaround time that she can I could definitely make their lives waaaay easier if they are willing to pay me a fair amount. Iknow I'm worth it! Anyway, I think you need to take a lot of things into account, i.e., do you have to use your own paper and ink, do you have to drive far to pick up tapes every day or every other day, what kind of turnaround time do they want? I would be willing to charge a little less if I didn I would say just make sure you have a great resume that emphasizes professionalism and skill, and prove to them you are definitelyworth a decent wage! The docs also need to realize thatif you are an IC they do not have to pay taxes on you, so that also saves them money. Imake sure to give them a copy of my IndependentContractorI am legal.I hope some other people reply because I would really like to see what people with a lot of experience have to say about this. Sorry for the extremely long reply btw!

work from home [2007-09-26]
I have been working for a transcription company for a year with on the job training. The company hassincegone downhill as to accounts have gone elsewhere and other things. I am looking for any ideas as to a company that would hire me. I am a stay at home mom trying to make some money and take care of her family. Any suggestions.