"I'm leaving my wife." I bought it once...never again. NM

We just bought a Prius and I will NEVER own anything but hybrid now! [2008-06-30]
We took our Prius from Philadelphia to Yellowstone Nat'l Park. Two weeks of driving, 5300+ miles on 10 fill ups of about 10 gallons each time. In fact, I filled up in Pittsburgh and am still driving around here at home on that tank of gas. Pretty much all of that trip was on interstate highways across the plains and up into the high mountains, and we still got close to or over 50 mpg. Our town mileage is even higher! It husband and 6 son are very comfortable driving this car. It's quiet, handles very well, and has lots of nifty gadgets for the base model, which is what we bought. The downside is that there is an 8-month wait for one in our area, and they just recently upped the price a few hundred dollars. But we love it, and found it to be great on the highway AND in town.

Just had to tell you that yesterday I bought the apple cider vinegar s/m [2008-06-12]
tablets for severe unrelenting hot flashes. I felt bad all day yesterday and was hoping it was not due to the pills. I only took two because of that. Went to bed early and today I have had a total of 2 hot flashes so far and it is 12 noon. I would have literally had dozens of terrible hot flashes by now. Thanks to all of you who shared your thoughts about ACV and for the dear poster who told me it was available in pill form. I honestly think this may be my answer. I feel like a new person and pray this continues. I can THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

uhh...that should be "suggested leaving"...not counseling...nm [2008-05-27]

I have been single again as long as I was married and there is not a day I don't regret leaving s [2008-05-27]
BUT it was still the right thing to do. I have been happier since and I am fine on my own, but it was extremely tough as he didn Financially it was terrible, but the relief of his absence was enormous. He was critical. He was always rude. My friends would only come to visit when he was on the road. The kids would pick up their messes, but he made more than they ever did, never helped and constantly criticized me for not being a perfect housekeeper like his mom...who didn I had more kids than she did, worked always and ended up being too exhausted for him. He is a homophobic homosexual and going out on mommy and daddy dates was always humiliating because he spent the evening looking at other men I got out and suffice it to say, at quite a price financially and emotionally. I have not remarried, have only had one relationship in 15 years and feel too damaged to ever try again, but I am FREE from all of that. My kids were pleased when he left and were all too anxious to help him to leave the house!

I don't regret leaving either... [2008-05-22]
Been gone since last August and couldn I owe MQ a lot as they did hire me right after I graduated my MT course and I did learn a lot while I was there, but having said that, I haven

Just bought a hybrid tonight [2008-05-09]
Three people I know are in love with their Toyota Prius hybrids, and one of those people is my cousin who is an auto mechanic. One of these people bought a Prius the first year they were available and has put 200,000 miles on it without any major problem ever. With my hubby commuting 50 miles a day, we decided to give it a go and bought one tonight. No deals to be made, because people are waiting for the cars at this time But we thought the price was fair, and hope we can drive this car for a very long time. Ours won't arrive for another 5 weeks or so, but that's ok. I'm looking forward to those 40+ mpgs that my friends and family are getting with their Prius.

"I'm leaving my wife." I bought it once...never again. NM [2008-05-08]
x

what is something you have bought in the past you will NEVER [2008-05-06]
Mine is Little Critters Omega-3 Gummy Fish. Cute concept but the berry, lemon and strawberry flavoried gummies somehow manage to taste like fruity flavored fish When I got them, my kids gagged with the first one and wouldn't even touch the second one for the recommended 2 a day. So guess who is choking down 2 of those suckers every day now?

I bought a new car a week ago... [2008-05-04]
If anyone cares. A brand new Kia Spectra. I got a great deal on it. They gave me a $2000 rebate so that meant no down payment. And they took off an additional $500 for applying for it on the internet. I love the car and it gets around 35 mpg. So that is my good news!

Any kids with wife#2 are living at home and being [2008-04-03]
Kids should not expect to college paid for, so hubby should not pay for college for kidswith wife#2 since he did not pay for college for kids with wife #1.

Heck no!! In fact just bought a GMC Yukon Denali to haul the family around in for trips. [2008-03-31]
x

When young, DS wanted blue hair. No prob. Bought [2008-03-30]
x

I just bought something like that, it was about , sm [2008-03-22]
$14.00. I have 2 cats and they would just play with the mouse, so I thought I'd try something to keep it away. I just bought it the other day and so far no sight of the mouse. Hope it keeps it away.

I'm loving life since leaving MT. [2008-03-21]
.

At least it is not a bombshell to the wife. [2008-03-18]
They both admitted their relationships..had counseling and moved on. you know it has been said for years now that good people are afraid to run for office for fear of a skeleton rattling around somewhere. You know an investigative reporter will dig it out.

This is a personal subject between him and his wife. [2008-03-18]
First, I hardly think affairs are only a NY thing. Do you know all of NY office holders? If you believe stats, most American adults have had an affair. I don't think that necessarily makes a person not decent, it just means they're human and had a failing. Personally, I'm tired of God complexes in Government. This is a personal subject between him and his wife. I wonder how many of us could live up to the scrutiny heaped upon politicians. I KNOW I couldn't. I've made mistakes too.

Have some tilapia I bought for dinner - what is the best way to prepare it? (sm) [2008-03-17]
I was simply going to season and bake/broil, but I think husband will be less critical if he at least thinks he is getting some breading or something unhealthy on it.

Be careful using it with a frozen casserole. I bought [2008-03-17]
the casserole. It said to bake it on a cookie sheet, so I pulled out my stone. The stone broke into 3 pieces during cooking, so I learned never to do that again. I have 2, one is black because it has been used so much, but I love them. I just don't put anything frozen solid on them anymore, including biscuits. I am probably paranoid, but after the first one I have broke like that, I feel it is just better safe than sorry.

WHY DOES THE BETRAYED WIFE ALWAYS STAND UP [2008-03-14]
WITH HER HUSBAND WHILE HE TELLS THE WHOLE WORLD HIS DIRTY LAUNDRY! I CERTAINLY WOULD NOT STAND UP THERE WITH HIM, IT MUST BE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE POWER, ETC. WHAT GIVES!

Did the dopey wife show up for this one? [2008-03-12]
x

I agree about the wife, but... [2008-03-12]
she knows what side her bread is buttered on! Play the stand by yourman, humiliated wife in public means for a much heftier settlement when the divorce proceedings start...not that she doesnHis daddy is worth 500 million dollars.

She has a scratching post that I bought when I first got her, but she never... SM [2008-03-11]
goes near it. Just isn She doesn I don I let her outside sometimes to chase the birds and squirrels because I feel sorry for her when she sits on my desk and just stairs out the window watching with her tail flicking and her eyes big.

Have considered it before - would they listen to me, his wife? (sm) [2008-02-27]
Would I have to show proof?

I actually just bought a Rug Doctor [2008-02-25]
from their web site. It is the best thing ever! It does a great job on the carpets and furniture. I can't wait for the weather to warm up so I can try it in my minivan. We have owned the store brand ones like Bissel and Dirt Devel, but they just don't do nearly as good of a job as the Rug Doctor. Ours came with huge supply of different cleaning fluids too. I love the thing!

Here is another truck driver's wife's view [2008-02-22]
My husband was older than yours when he (and I) married. He was 49, first marriage. We spend a tremendous amount of time together, he even has his computer setup in my workroom. When he wants downtime, he has his own room for his guitar strumming and then a real stay-around type person. I love the time we are together so don’t know what to say to the original poster but not much of a marriage there if no time left over for wife.

Well, my better judgement said [2008-07-03]
My better judgement says to pay down on the CCs. My H wants to take 15k out of his 401k and be done with it. He says we are still young and we can still make it up. We are in our 30s. I really really hate for him to do that because I see how my Dad, Mom and MIL struggle with just living on SS alone. Also, it is a nice Band-Aid but if we don As far as this house goes, that is the one thing I am proud of is that it is almost paid off. The only thing wrong with this house really is that it is 200 small. 890 sq feet and there are 4 of us living here. 2 littler girls and H and I. It is 2 bedroom 1 bath and that 1 bath is getting harder and harder for us to deal with. H and I looked into another house a few years ago and we were shocked that the owners wanted 130k for a house that stunk and was trashed, i.e., holes in the walls, unfinished projects, a huge mess everywhere. We bought this house in 1999 for 29k. It is a rock house. It was newly remodeled, it has central heat and hair, it has a big fenced in backyard and a huge storage building H uses as a shop. We do live in West Texas so I am thinking houses are cheaper here. I have heard relatives say that up north in the bigger cities this house would be worth 100k or better.

My sons have been in Scouts for some time now...sm [2008-07-03]
My youngest (11 years old) was in Cub Scouts for about 3 years and crossed over into a newly chartered troop. My oldest son (17 years old) joined the troop also, mostly out of necessity (we needed his warm body in order to have enough boys to charter). My youngest loves it and my oldest is kind of lukewarm about it. I have also been a leader at the pack, troop, district and council level for over 4 years now. We are basically a scouting family and love it. With that said, however, I will say that scouting is not for everyone, and everyone does not get out of scouting what is there for them to learn simply because everyone is not interested in learning those things or because of poor leadership within the scouting unit. In your case, it sounds to me as if the latter may be true. You didn't say how old your son is or how long he has been in scouting, but it sounds to me like he has a very poor leader if he makes them camp this way. Some overly self-glorified scout leaders try to turn scouting into junior Army training which is not what it is meant to be. If there is another pack or troop in the area, you might consider changing and see if that improves his scouting experience by a new leader and better camping conditions. When we camp, each boy has his own tent (can be bought at Walmart for about $15) and we always have a campfire in a designated fire ring that burns pretty much all night. Each boy is safely enclosed in his own tent that zips up which greatly reduces the chances of spiders, snakes, bugs, etc. Of course the boys have to be trained to keep their tent flaps zipped closed at all times so that nothing gets in. My advice from a scouter's viewpoint is to talk to your son and then you and your son and husband talk to the scout leader and see what can be done to improve the scouting experience for your son as well as the other boys in the unit. If the leader does not want to chanage his ways to more closely follow the scouting ideals, then find another troop or pack to join. Sounds like there is a LOT of room for improvement here. Here is a link that may help, too. http://netcommish.com/askandy.asp

maybe you daughter told her husband not to tell anyone so they could do it together -- then [2008-07-03]
he found he could not stand not being able to burst out with it, and came up with the hint-in-a-bag...technically keeping his promise to his wife. (Guys are stupid when they try to think.) (and/or) perhaps your daughter wanted at least one day (or whatever) to get used to the idea and wallow in it just the two of them. maybe?

need some advice [2008-07-03]
Okay, what would you do? I have a wife who is on disability and will not be going back to work. At the time she was seriously injured I had a very good job and we were living the good life. At the same time she got hurt, I lost my very good job and ended up taking a huge paycut when I finally found a job. I am now back at a decent salary but of course, she is not. Anyway, fast forward to the now - we filed bankruptcy, sold our home and bought a smaller house so that we could have a manageable debt load, start saving money for our future , and still enjoy life in the here and now. However, none of that has happened. If we have $10 left after paying the bills, then that $10 is going to be spent. No savings yet, nothing paid off in advance because we (meaning she) are still blowing the money on unnecessary items. So here is my dilemma - we have the opportunity to take our smaller home and trade it in on a bigger home (along with the bigger mortgage, higher taxes, higher insurance premiums, etc.) and I cannot decide what to do. I really do not want to face that large house payment once again, but at the same time, I figure since we are not saving it anyway, it might as well go into something that might benefit us some day instead of all the unnecessary stuff we are spending it on now. Can I get some advice (and not get rid of her, that is not an option!)?

Dogs, fireworks, and... peppermint oil? sm [2008-07-02]
One of my dogs has a little bit of a problem with loud noises such as fireworksandthunderstorms. He doesnbut I happened toread an article about how using peppermint oil on the dogreally calm them,so I Ithas to be real peppermint oil (not the kind found in the grocery store in the baking section), so I went to a local health food store and bought a bottle. You put the oil on a cotton pad, then put some on each of the dog I did a Google search and found a lot of comments from people saying it worked for their dog. (Just type in Below isanother article I found while searching around. I know a lot of pets end up freaking out and getting lostthis time of year, poor things, so be sure you have an up-to-date ID tag on your pets, even if they will be inside the house. Dogs Fireworks Don't Mix! Every year on the Fourth of July America's skies are bright with fireworks, sparklers and Roman candles as we celebrate Independence Day. Bangs, explosions and bright lights are accompanied by screams, sirens and howling dogs throughout the country. Dogs do not like fireworks. Fact. Every year dogs along with many other animals experience fear and confusion, sometimes alone when their owners are away enjoying an organized event. It is not unusual for dogs to run away from home after being frightened by fireworks. Another problem for dogs is the fact that fireworks seem to be going off for a few days leading up to July 4th as well so there is no way of knowing exactly when your dog might be subjected to a loud bang. Below are some suggestions to help ensure that your pets can get through the fireworks unscathed. It is a good idea to bring any outdoor pets inside during the fireworks.Always remember how acute a dog's sense of hearing is. A loud bang to us can feel like a volcano erupting to a dog. It may be hard, but try and stay with your dog during the fireworks. Your presence will help to calm your dog and while the noise may still frighten them, they will feel better and recover much faster with you there. Always make sure your dog has his or her own special area where they can go to feel safe. Be it an indoor kennel or a place under the stairs, dogs love to have a den at their disposal. It sounds obvious, but try to keep the windows and curtains closed during the fireworks display as this will lessen the effect of the noise and bright flashes. Also, normal household noises such as the TV or music can help to distract from the loud noises coming from outside. Last but certainly not least, always ensure your pet has some sort of identification on him or her. It is a sad fact but many dogs do run away from home because of fireworks.Even dogs that have previously shown no fear of fireworks can occasionally take flight at the loud noises and flashes in the sky. Be prepared, your dog has never heard of Independence Day or The Fourth of July and he doesnHe needs your help to make it through the day.

More and more of the Prius [2008-06-30]
in our parking garage, at work. I have 2 friends who both bought Prius and they just love theirs. My one friend is now the designated lunch driver, when our group goes out to lunch - LOL!! I have to say, the Prius is really a nice car. Much roomier on the inside than it looks on the outside.

We just bought a Prius and I will NEVER own anything but hybrid now! [2008-06-30]
We took our Prius from Philadelphia to Yellowstone Nat'l Park. Two weeks of driving, 5300+ miles on 10 fill ups of about 10 gallons each time. In fact, I filled up in Pittsburgh and am still driving around here at home on that tank of gas. Pretty much all of that trip was on interstate highways across the plains and up into the high mountains, and we still got close to or over 50 mpg. Our town mileage is even higher! It husband and 6 son are very comfortable driving this car. It's quiet, handles very well, and has lots of nifty gadgets for the base model, which is what we bought. The downside is that there is an 8-month wait for one in our area, and they just recently upped the price a few hundred dollars. But we love it, and found it to be great on the highway AND in town.

Well, now it's my turn to tell my story...(Beware..this is long) [2008-06-29]
Well, I just don I was 26 years old when I met and married my husband. It will be14 years ago this August. I was a platinum blond, Swedish, 26-year-old, voluptuous virgin waiting for my prince to come. I had never dated because I was too fearful and shy. My mother always told me that my prince was coming. She just didnthe prince of darkness. It has been a nightmare, although he says it has been great with only a few bumps along the way. He is abusive in every way including verbally, mentally, emotionally, some physical although very little (not an excuse, just telling it the way it is), what I feel is sexual abuse with me but not the children,but the worst by far is his financial abuse. He has told me many, many times, Who do you think YOU are? What do you think...that you I can find a dozen more women like you. I have three children, now ages 14, 13, and 11. 14-year-old has ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. My husbandis just like this although he has never been diagnosed and never would be because in his own words, I am perfect just like God made me. There is nothing wrong with me. The problem here is you. My credit is down the toilet. Credit score is about 500. His is 800. Through the years, when the children were babies I had to feed them dry cereal with a cup of water because he wouldn One very hot night in the summer, I had to feed them generic hot dogs and pink beans, which were some kind of bean that slithered out of the can in a gelatinous material. The kids werewere dry heaving at the table. One day when I was about 8 months pregnant with my last child, he came up to me and said, Well, I I said what He said (very matter of fact), I I won If you want something, get off your f______fat a__ and get a job. I had a 6-month-old and a 1 1/2-year-old and 8 months pregnant with the third one. What!! Get a job!! Are you crazy?? He said, Oh well. Famous last words. That is all I ever hear. He has ripped out phone lines, denied us food and clothing. We have two cars. He used to hide the car I would drive around the neighborhood so I couldn He would even take the carseats. One time when I was pregnant, I had no money so my girlfriend needed a babysitter a few hours a week. She lives in Connecticut, which is about 45 minutes from my home. She could only pay $45 a week but I would drive up there four days a week to watch those kids just to get that measly $45. One day when I was leaving to go, I wanted $2 for an ice cream cone (I was pregnant at the time and that was my thing during that pregnancy). I asked him for $2 and he said no. I reached into his wallet and took $2 anyway. So he came after me. I took out the butcher knife but he ran outside to get to the car first so I couldn I put away the knife and ran out the back door to try to get to the car first but he got there before me. I reached in to try to grab the car keys out of the ignition when he rolled the window up as hard as he could. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I thought he was going to break my arm. I was able to backhand him and he unrolled the window. A little while later I ran to the neighbors to call the police because he ripped the phone lines out. I was there for about 15-20 minutes calling the police, family, and my friends to come and help. When I got back to the house, he had taken both cars (hid one in the neighborhood) and went to work. He left my 9-month-old and 1 1/2-year-old children all by themselves (and at the time I lived on a very busy street where cars would drive by at 50 mph). When I walked in, they were sitting on the living room floor screaming at the top of their lungs. The next morning I was in the shower and I lifted up my arms to wash my hair when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the underside of my arm. It was a jet black bruise about four to five inches long by about two inches wide. It was literally jet black. I was stunned. When I called the police, I told them what was going on with his abuse. I told them I was pregnant with two little ones at home. I told them I had no food. I told them and showed them the bruise and I told them I wanted to press assault charges. They said, He did that to you? I said yes. I said, I want him arrested for assault. I told them where he worked. They turned around and told me that because the incident happened the day before that there was nothing they would do and that they weren They told me to just let him lie low for a while. This happened in 1996. We are not talking the 50s here. This was just before they handed me a pamphlet on battered women and battered women The pamphlet said there does not have to be any sign of physical abuse. If you are in a situation where you simply fear for your safety, the person can be arrested. And I am sitting there pregnant with ahuge, jet black bruise underneath my arm from where he rolled my arm up in the window. This is just a few tidbits of the life I have had with him. There have been some good times and good vacations but mostly bad. We have fought so bad for years and years that I know the toll it has taken on the kids. The guilt I have is insurmountable. If he buys groceries, I have to pay him back. If he pays the phone bill, I have to pay him back. If he buys me anything or gives me a $10 or $20 bill, I have to pay him back. Most of the time, I am not allowed to go into a store with him. I went with him once to Wal-Mart and I put a $2 box of sweetener into the carriage. That was it. I am now not allowed to go into a store with him. He screams at us that he pays the rent, therefore, it is his house and we have to learn to live the way he wants us to and we should be catering to him. If we don He has told me for years that he is a king and that the house is his castle and that he has allowed us to live with him because he is kind, loving, and gracious. He will only buy oneChristmas gift for his kids and no stocking stuffers or tape or wrapping paper or anything like that.I have to do that with what I get paid to do MT work. He doesn When they were little, I would tell him that the children needed some cool clothes for summer. He would take their little pants and cut them off and then take their turtleneck shirts and cut off the turtle neck and cut off the sleeves and say, There you go. There Or he would just tell me, Go ask your sister to buy them some clothes. He has threatened to kill me and the children if I leave. He has told me that he would kill me and the children before I would ever see child support. He has a sex fettish where he wants it all the time, every day multiple times in a day if he could get it (not that he does, mind you. I stopped that crazy crap a long time ago), and I am just supposed to stop all that I am doing and fulfill his needs (even though sex for me offers virtually nothing other than soreness,swelling, and boredom and has always been like this). If I don I am very overweight, I smoke like a chimney, my credit is destroyed, I don I have less now 14 years later than I did before I married him. At least before I married him I had my own very nice car and some clothes. I don My clothes are tattered, stained, and worn. And...I had dreams of what my life was going to be like when I got married. But it certainly was not a life like this. My kids are older now and they are seeing their father for who he is. He blames me and tells me it is all the bad stuff I am telling the children. I keep telling him it is what they have seen for 14 years. They beg me to divorce him. My youngest, who is 11, was diagnosed last year with severe ulcerative colitis. He has had a flare now for the past six weeks with at least ten bouts of diarrhea with blood every day. He talks about depression a lot and always asking me what it is. When I got the call last year from his pediatrician telling me to take him to the hospital for a possible blood transfusion (this was when we got his diagnosis), Ialmost fell on the floor from fear. I called my husband at work to tell him he needed to come home. He said, I can I have to work. He said, Don His red blood cell count had dropped to 7.2 froma normal of 12 because of his bleeding. He came to the hospital when he got out of work. He showed up at 6:00 p.m. We went outside and talked for a bit and then about 20 minutes after he showed up, he said, Well, I have to go home to eat and shower. I When I got angry, he said Hey, I I need to rest. Besides, there We still didn I didn I was scared to death. But he had to go home to eat and shower and rest!!!! I think that was the beginning of the end for me. I once read something on these boards that someone posted saying Marriage is not supposed to be a good deal for one and misery for the other. That is what my life has been. My marriage was a great deal for him...kids that he never has to pay for (I mean nothing...not school projects and believe me there are a ton of them, not clothes, not shoes, notebooks, backpacks, nothing), free sex, and a wife that he doesn I believe in my soul that my marriage was a good business deal for him. If you knew my husband, you would laugh at that statement because he is extremely uneducated and talks like a mentally retarded person. People in the past have actually asked me if he was mentally retarded. He thinks that if my son would drink lots and lots of water, that that will cure his ulcerative colitis and makes fun of me and insults me and everyone else. Itell him he is a moron and he doesn His abusive mother made them drink nothing but water. She would not buy them anything or strive for a better life. They lived in a nightmare life. So now he gets very angry when we woncure everything. He tells us that he is trying to show us how to live right but we just won He tells this to other people too including our landlord. He has the most disgusting habits. He picks scabs and eats them, he has eczema and psoriasis so he is one huge flake, which he enjoys picking off chunks and dropping them in a pile on the floor, he passes unbearable gas (like every two or three minutes that has such a horrid stench it makes all of us nauseous) and then flips out if we spray a room spray. He will actually grab the can and scream that this is his house and we are all just disgusting to live with and just impossible to live with. He just had a fight with my 12-year-old daughter tonight because he was passing tons and tons of gas and she sprayed a room spray. He got up in her face screaming at the top of his lungs at 11:00 at night that this is his house. He will pass gas all he wants and that he won She was crying and begging me to divorce him. She kept saying, You said it would be better for the family if you stayed married to him but it It won Well, I could go on and on. It has been 14 years of this but I think you get the picture. I have no money. I don I have a son who is going to need ongoing frequent medical care and I am afraid he will cancel the insurance if I do anything to get rid of him. I have a great fear for our safety. He has major problems with having to give up his money so to haveto pay child support will send him over the edge. He is a pathological liar so you can He told me, I would never allow anyone to judge me like that. You can tell the judge to kiss my balls. He seems to expect the absolute highest standards from the children and I but he doesn Never has and never will but will shove it down my throat when he doesn Well, any advice. I really am looking for legal advice for anyone else who has been through this. I know I need to get rid of him...for the kids sake. They need to see that life is not like this and not all men do this and that you don My daughter, who just turned 13, says to me she hates men with a passion. I told my niece that I felt like I was dying. I never, never, never, never leave my house except to go to Dunkin Donuts up the street to get a coffee. I haven And that is three hours probably once every two months. I am lonely, isolated, and ragingly angry. I want to go back to school but when I talk about that, he poo poos it saying I should go back in five or ten years or 15 years when my bills are paid and I can afford it. HELLO????? I am going to be 43 in October. Maybe I should just wait to go back to school until I Well you get the picture. If you By the way, when I bring up any of his abuse to him, he tells me I don Funny, he always remembers every time I swear at him though. Has never forgotten a single time.

assume this is true. God help you [2008-06-29]
and get away from him. get to the women's shelter, in fact, you probably need the witness protection program. he cannot legally drop insurance on the kids with a court order. There has to be someone legal to help you and the women's shelter or crisis abuse hotline knows all the numbers. outside of your kids it does not sound like you would be leaving much behind if you just went with what you could carry. I would take ANY death threat seriously and the fact he is now turning it on the kids is worrisome. Good luck.

My roughest birthday was.... [2008-06-28]
When I was 34. I donspecial for my b-day. Oh yea, the last time he took me out to eat specially for my b-day was 1989, but dinner was a disaster so after that I just said forget it. Usually we have pizza delivered. So I'm now 48 and I'd give anything to turn the clocks back about 28 years. So much I would do differently and so many things I wouldn't do.

I would tell MIL that she is nuts for doing that - sm [2008-06-24]
I have done quite a few ER reports on people who have been in accidents on ATVvisits with them). Your job is to protect your children, if she was ever hurt because you allowed this to keep going on you would never forgive yourself. Put your foot down now before something bad happens. As for having someone watch her while you cut the grass, hello, why cannot your husband cut the grass??? Or if you MIL is so deperate to ride something, have her come over and cut the grass and put her on the tractor. So between the stupidity of her taking a baby on an ATV and the obvious damage to the baby's hearing which will be permanent-- I'd tell her to cut it out now and if you find out she is still doing it anyway, no more leaving her with grandma, plain and simple.

Short story about ATVs [2008-06-24]
A woman I know was riding one with her 2 y/o grandson. She was turning on the 4-wheeler when it kicked into high gear and wouldn They were heading right for a tree. Basically she had to jump off while holding onto her 2 y/o grandson. The 4-wheeler then ran into a tree and did some major damage. Thankfully, no one was hurt and she did the right thing by jumping, but still. They found out that whoever had put the 4-wheeler together before they bought it had done something wrong and when she turned it caused a wire to do something weird and it made it go fast and wouldn I can't remember exactly what they said happened, but if she hadn't jumped, she would have run right into a tree at full speed with her 2 y/o grandson. Also, there was a young kid....about 5 or 6....who was killed about a month ago on an ATV. His older brother was driving and something happened and the kid hit his head and was killed. Had he had a helmet on, he probably would have lived. When my stepson has a friend over, we always ask the parent Asking permission is just common courtesy.

Hate to break your heart [2008-06-23]
When I read the first part I thought that was an odd thing to say, especially since he keeps saying it. I would say to him why wouldn. I don't know much about the relationship (long distance-local). If (and I'm just assuming this is an if) he is long distance he might have a wife or girlfriend. You can't trust what he says if you can't see the situation with your own eyes. If he hasn't called there is definitely something wrong (hence I would start to believe he has another girlfirend or wife). Have you ever been to this persons home, seen where he lives, or any of that? The second part of the message is what bothered me. When someone borrows money no matter how much you care about them no matter how much they borrow they should pay it back. I know you care a lot about this person, but to lend someone money is a very dangerous thing. I know from experience. We loaned my BIL some money about 4 years ago. We helped him get out of some payday loans and I went through his budget very very carefully and spent almost 3 weeks constructing a budget for him to live on to including a separate bill for paying us back (a certain amount each month), but this budget also included some fun money for him - not a lot but would give him the means to go to a movie or grab a pizza once a week. Anyway...here it is 4 years later and he has only paid us back less than half of what he ows us. He keeps giving us the line I I love you guys a lot You know you can trust me I won. I keep getting these lines from him (and he's my BIL). My point I am saying is this is my BIL and he keeps giving me the same type of lines it sound like this person is giving you. Please be very very cautious with this relationship and just remember, there are hundreds of other fish in the sea who you will meet and will fall in love with you and wonI hope you believe that. So, I hate to break your heart but I think he is taking advantage of your kindness and has no intentions of anything further. If I was in your shoes I'd send this person an email ditching him, and remove the email from my contact list and have no further contact with him. My DHTrust No One.

Ever say the wrong thing [2008-06-22]
Ever say the wrong thing, and you realize as your talking trying to say something that would make them feel better that that what your saying doesn’t quite sound right so you keep trying to explain and it just gets worse and worse. Today I was talking to someone whose wife has cancer and she started chemo a few weeks ago. I’m always caring as my mom had cancer so I know a bit of what they are going through, but of course I don’t want to say that because it would sound as though what they are going through is not that important compared to what my mom went through (which of course is not true – I love both these people). Anyway…last night his wife passed out and they had to bring her to ER (she’s better and was released). He told me it gave him a scare and made him realize how fragile life is. I told him that’s true. He then was laughing and said something in regards to life isn’t forever and we all have to move on but nobody ever wants to (or something like that) and he was laughing about it (he’s not a very serious person and usually laughs at everything), and I told him that reminded me of a movie I saw called Kingdom of Heaven when someone said you don’t’ seem upset that I’ve killed your master and the guy said to him “it was his time to go”. Talk about knowing immediately that was one of the stupidest things I could have said and I’m sure sounded insensitive. So, I tried to think of something less equally stupid to say (if such a thing was possible). But I told him sometimes its really depressing typing reports all day because there are so many people with such serious illness that it just get depressing typing them all day. Then I was thinking to myself that that made it sound as though what she is going through isn’t as important as everyone else. Not quite sure if all this was in my mind as I’m sensitive to others feelings and always want to say the right things so they will feel better (even though it may not always come out that way). I ended the conversation letting him know that what they were going through is very hard and that I was glad his wife was better and tell her that I’m thinking of her and wishing them the best. He said in an upbeat tone, thanks I will. He didn’t seem upset, but it was just a very awkward conversation and I wanted to get off before I said anything else. I don’t think he took offense to what I was saying but in these circumstances you never know and it just proved to myself that from now on its better to keep my mouth shut and not sound stupid than to say anything that makes me look so. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and do you think I’m being oversensitive. From now on a simple concerned and understanding “uh-hum” will be in my vocabulary.

no big deal! [2008-06-22]
I think I would probably have a heart attack if I were ever bitten by a snake.. My dentist bought an old house that was inhabited by snakes. . he shot some, carried some out using sticks, played loud music and finally, after a couple of years, has managed to take over the house. . he has way more patience and courage than I would have.

Parents gettting divorced...sm [2008-06-21]
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around. Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house. He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually. She can At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres. Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look. He doesn Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving. He says he can She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead. She doesn It is like she can He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go. She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place. And he has had the money. She said he just won She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do. But he is headset not to leave.

Fari is far but it makes a person sick though. [2008-06-20]
I have one living right behind me. He was a HS basketball coach and had an affair with one of the students. He bought the lot behind our house and built a huge 2-story Victorian 3000 sq ft and put it up for sale for 300K. I don He is living in it now. I have seen the pictures of the inside on the internet and believe me, he is living better than I am.My little 820 sq foot house right behind his looks like it may be the servant LOL.

He's dumb as a fox......sm [2008-06-19]
The lyrics to a song by Nashville's Cornbread Mafia. I do not like country music, but they are right on the money. http://www.burtonharvey.com/cornbreadmafia/ He acts real dumb but the act isn't fooling me He gets things done to destroy our sovereignty He's a servant of the globalists from foreign lands Our leader is a traitor with blood on his hands Traitor...Dare call it treason Traitor...Dare call it treason Some see a failure; I see a big success Using our terror to undermine the whole U.S. When the towers came down, and everybody froze Bush and Giuliani came up smelling like a rose Traitor...Dare call it treason Traitor...Dare call it treason It's election time again, and everybody's ready to vote If both candidates are owned, brother tell me where is the hope? Hillary and Huckabee are waiting there in line I guess we'll get a Democrat traitor this time Traitor...Dare call it treason Traitor...Dare call it treason They want a fascist planet with the superwealthy ruling it all Since we're too independent, America must be led to fall When our credit's been exhausted to subdue the Middle East, They'll install our debtor nation in the body of The Beast Traitor...Dare call it treason Traitor...Dare call it treason This song is almost over, but I have one thing further to say I'll ask you for a favor when the agents come to take me away Disseminate this anthem over cyberspace, And shout this accusation in every bought-off leader's face: Traitor...Dare call it treason Traitor...Dare call it treason

Good advice. As my sister says sm [2008-06-19]
Why is it some people think their dogs are just oddly shaped humans? We had a lab cross puppy from about 7 weeks to about 4 months. My daughter just brought her home one day and we knew we weren We did take thetime to crate train her, potty train her, etc., etc. With a lot of patience a ton of praise, yet a firm voice and boundaries, sheturned out to begreat pup. She was pretty hyper, but listened well and was very eager to please and she needed constant supervision. We thought we finally found the perfect family for her. The first thing the newfamily told me, as they were leaving with her, was they thought it was cruel to crate the dog at night and told me they chose not to. Big red flag! :) Three days after the family took her they called me and wanted me to take her back. I was accused of misleading them because the dog was not listening to them and was tearing their house apart and having accidents everywhere. They let her have free run of the house and then locked her in a small room while they went to work all day with nobody to check on her. I mean, what did they expect? I told them specifically what she was used to right down to what time she went to bed in her crateat night and what timeI let her out in themorning and they went completely againsteverything I told themand couldn And they only gave it THREE days!

Showers for 2nd marriages [2008-06-18]
My cousin called and asked opinion on wedding showers. Her daughter is marrying for second time and she doesn't know if it is proper to have another shower. She has her own home and has everything she needs. This is the first wedding for future groom. We had same discussion when my son married for second time. His future wife had also been previously married and they both live together and have everything. She went and registered at several places. Her response was she didn't need anything but sure wanted things. Isn't that a bit greedy? Any opionions? Same with second and third baby showers. When I grew up you got one for the first and that was it. If a huge gap between babies maybe a small second one but not one for every baby.

MI's been in it's own one-state recession for years [2008-06-18]
All forgotten here. Rumor has it MI was once a super-power, but not in my life-time. Boarded up, gravitti-ridden, poverty-stricken. Highest in unemployment, top-ten in foreclosures, top-ten in high gas prices. Our warted governor certainly is not spending our tax dollars wisely. My only salvation has been to not get in over my head.I drive a $700 car and bought my house for 13K. Gotta love the clean beaches, too.

Woman, I have no mercy on you [2008-06-16]
That is what she told Sharon when she was begging for her life and the life of her unborn son. Then she and one of her buddies proceeded to stab Sharon 16 times and slaughtered all of her houseguests. Then wrote words on the walls in Sharon They also shot a teenager 4 times who was just leaving. Then the next night they (I don There were more killings also before that. These people were worse than animals, killed for no reason whatsoever. That the devil made me do it thing don They knew right from wrong. Linda Kasabian proved that by not following Manson She was totally in love with Manson at the time too. Atkins was originally sentenced death but somehow it was ruled unconstitutional and her sentence was reduced to life with parole.

If you would like to further educate yourself on this issue [2008-06-12]
INTERESTING ARTICLE I realize this is very long, but as an expert in this field, I want to re-post information I sent, in September, to another blogger concerned about the Best Friends summit. I want to emphasize that the following information is based on years of dedicated research, and decades of dog training experience. I do not simply pass along information I've heard or read somewhere...which is sadly what most people, on all sides of dog-related issues, do. I recognize that some of your readers may find parts of it quite controversial. That's okay. Facts are facts, even if they conflict with some other [expert's] unresearched opinions. As such, I've opted to leave those sections in, because they're vital in refuting unfounded notions about dogs, canine genetics, and dog behaviour, which lead to myths about canine aggression. Any individual point of controversy should not take away from the overall message of fact and reason that does not support the view that any entire dog breed could be considered dangerous. Only once people stop repeating inaccurate information (no matter how good it may sound), will we ever hope to get to the heart of this issue, and start reducing the number of unprovoked dog bites. The following was written off the top of my head, in response to concerns about the Best Friends' agenda. It is not a composed article meant for publication. Please also keep in mind, it has a decidedly Canadian perspective, although there is ample U.S. data referenced. This is what I wrote (with a few minor clarifications): Dear (blogger), As you know, I am an expert in Canadian dog bite statistics. After years of research, there are a number of interesting facts I right here, in one place. The situation with unprovoked dog bites is not what nearly everyone believes it to be. If I had one pet peeve, it is that most people merely repeat things they’ve heard or read. They don’t really know if what they’re saying is true or not. They merely “believe” those things to be true, and that’s enough for them, I guess. You know what I say, “No matter how often or loudly a myth is repeated, it is still just a myth.” Some people simply like agreeing with others. Some like to pretend they’re especially knowledgeable or have unique insight. Whatever the source for so many of these myths, years of research has proven the majority of beliefs I encounter about dogs are simply untrue. Whenever discussing the issue of dangerous dogs, it's always important to remember a few key points about the dog bite statistics (especially as they pertain to Canada): 1. The most dangerous breeds in Canada are, in order: German Shepherd, Cocker Spaniel, Rottweiler, and Golden Retriever. Why do I say this? Well, this is not dog bite data, but rather dog attack data based on the reporting information from the Canadian Hospital Injury Reporting and Prevention Program (CHIRPP). The CHIRPP members (hospitals, and reporting physicians and nurses) have no reason to lie about the information they receive, surrounding the breed of dog that has attacked. Why do I say the most dangerous? Well, because the CHIRPP data only applies to the most severe dog attacks (i.e. those injuries serious enough to require treatment in hospital). These are not little nips that can be treated with ice or even a band aid. These are severe dog bite injuries that need to be treated in hospital. The dogs that cause the most serious injuries in Canada belong to the above-mentioned breeds, more than any others. Unlike municipal dog bite data (where any bite, no matter how inconsequential, or even against other animals, is counted), the CHIRPP data only relates to the most serious dog attacks against human victims. 2. 'Pit bulls' are rarely in the #1 spot in dog bite statistics. Any measures to restrict or ban the #2, #5, or #37 'breed' of dog in the dog bite statistics, but not #1, is pure hypocrisy. As faulty as the logic may be, if you're going to ban or restrict a type of dog in an attempt to reduce the number of dog bites, then it must be the ones who bite the most and/or cause the most serious injuries. Either way, that 'breed' is not 'pit bulls'. 3. There hasn't been one confirmed death of a child attributed to an unprovoked attack by a 'pit bull' in Canadian history. (There has been one unconfirmed death.) 4. The very first human fatality attributed to an unprovoked attack by a 'pit bull' in Canadian history occurred in May of 2006. Until then, every insinuation or claim about Canadians being in danger of being killed in unprovoked attacks by 'pit bulls' was totally unfounded. (In the Ontario case in May, the dog was actually only part 'pit bull'. It was a Labrador Retriever/'pit bull' cross, and the dog's owner was the victim.) (It should be noted that there have been at least two human fatalities in Canada attributed to unprovoked attacks by Labrador Retriever crosses, yet this was the first for a 'pit bull' cross.) 5. Municipal dog bite statistics often combine reported dog bite data against both humans and other animals. While I don’t have any problems with doing so, those citing combined statistics must be aware that the majority of the dog bite reports aren’t against people. To imply otherwise is, at best, misleading and, at worst, dishonest. For example: Toronto has arguably the largest municipal ‘pit bull’ population in Canada. In 2004, 12 of the city’s estimated 30,000+ ‘pit bulls’ had been reported for biting. (That’s about 0.04% of the population, by the way; leaving 99.96% of Toronto’s ‘pit bulls’ completely innocent of such allegations.) However, the majority of those reported bites were against other animals. Only 2 of the 12 could even begin to be called “attacks” against humans. So, when 2 out of at least 30,000 dogs of a loosely-defined type are involved in attacks in an entire year, is that really justification for not just trying to ban or restrict them, but for making sweeping generalizations about all the rest? 6. No matter what dog ‘breed’ tops the dog bite statistics, the vast majority of bites are still attributed to other breeds. To better help people understand the absurdity of a breed-based approach to dog bite prevention, let’s imagine that ‘pit bulls’ are responsible for a virtually unheard of 10% of bites in some Canadian city. That still leaves 90% of biting dogs unaffected by any breed-based approach. This is the primary reason why breed bans have been such a colossal failure wherever they’ve been tried. The majority of biting and attacking dogs are not affected, so their owners are free to continue to behave negligently. 7. All dogs can bite. There is no such thing as a breed of dog that has never bitten, never attacked, never maimed, or never killed (a person or other animal). 8. It is the size of the victim, not the dog, which best predicts severity of injury in an attack. While even the very smallest dog breeds have killed humans, the very largest dog breeds are rarely involved in attacks. 9. Adults are rarely seriously injured by dogs of any size, while children are the most common dog bite victims. Their attackers range from the very smallest to the very largest dog breeds. 10. The dogs actually involved in attacks are not genetically related in any meaningful way. This goes right to the heart of common, yet completely unscientific, baseless claims about allegedly inheriting aggressive behaivours or being bred for aggression. In short, the dogs involved in attacks are not closely genetically related to one another. This tends to refute the idea that the attack was due to some aberrant inherited gene. Think about it. What could the Dalmatian that bit off a boy’s nose 10 years ago and the Golden Retriever that left 76 stitches in a girl’s face, just a few years ago, possibly have in common, from a genetic standpoint? Is anyone really trying to suggest they’re genetically related, and both inherited some sort of as-yet-undiscovered “attack gene”? Even the Rottweiler that killed a child in New Brunswick and the Rottweiler that killed a child in Ontario don’t share any common ancestors in their pedigrees; making the whole notion of a shared genetic cause for attacks completely ludicrous. Put simply, the individual dogs involved in unique attack incidents are not genetically related in any way other than that which makes them dogs. 11. Psychology defines aggression as learned behaviour. I’ve been researching dog biting incidents since 1999. I have yet to find a dog involved in an attack that didn’t have a known history of aggressive behaviour. Aggression has to be learned and practiced before it is perfected. I have yet to come across a case of a dog that attacked unprovoked, without ever having barked menacingly, growled, lunged, snapped, or what have you. This completely refutes the (quite silly) urban myth that “some dogs just turn”, or that dogs can be THIS unpredictable. (i.e. friendly family pet with no history of ever having behaved aggressively one minute; then savage, unprovoked attacker the next) As an experienced dog trainer (one who has spent many of those years SUCCESSFULLY re-training aggressive dogs), I can attest that dogs are not all that unpredictable. Sure, they might do something out of the ordinary, every now and then. However, for a dog to suddenly behave aggressively in a way that is truly threatening or injurious, it must have practiced those behaviours in the past. This is the nature of all learned behaviours. Only practice makes perfect. (I can elaborate more on that, if you wish.) It’s as though people can’t imagine any other form of aggressive behaviour, other than biting. To help them along, I must point out that aggressive behaviours follow a fairly predictable scale of escalation. It may begin with staring or raised hackles (all merely indicating discomfort with a situation). That can lead to raised lips, growling, stiffened body posture, menacing barking, lunging, and attempted bites. Long before an unwarranted bite ever occurs, there are a litany of warning signs that the dog will eventually bite. Even the most die-hard dog fighting breeders admit they have to start their puppies very young (often at six weeks), to turn them into superior fighters. When asked why they have to spend so much effort training their (allegedly bred-to-fight) dogs, none can provide a scientifically or practically sensible response. Most use made-up terminologies to emphasize what they believe are inherited traits, while playing down the daily training they force on the dogs. Yet it is clear that, without this ongoing encouragement, the dogs don’t become proficient fighters. I’ve researched so many cases where the owner has allegedly claimed the attack was the first time the dog behaved aggressively, I now pay little heed to such statements. The neighbours almost always tell a very different story. To use a more famous case as an example, little Courtney Trempe was killed by a dog the owner claimed had never behaved aggressively before. The owner went on to say he “couldn’t have known” the dog would attack, because it had never tried to bite a person. Well, it turns out the dog had not just attacked previously, but had actually killed two neighbourhood dogs in the past. That is an aggressive dog, by anyone’s standards. But it does bring me to my next point… 12. Aggression is aggression is aggression. The idea that aggression can be species-specific is not based in any kind of scientific, statistical, or practical data. It seems to be little more than wishful thinking. Those perpetuating this notion tend not to have even attempted to validate this theory in any way. There is a very disturbing myth being promulgated by a number of groups that should know better than to perpetuate unfounded myths. The idea that aggression towards other dogs is markedly different than aggression towards humans is scientifically and statistically baseless. (But I realize a lot of people learned this myth, and repeat it as though it is true.) I have to point out that the real-world data, in no uncertain terms, clearly refutes such theories. Of the dogs involved in their first aggression incident towards a human, the vast majority had behaved aggressively towards other animals (usually other dogs) in the past. Of the dogs involved in their first bites against humans, where the dog had no history of aggression towards humans, the majority had behaved aggressively towards other animals (usually other dogs) in the past. Of the dogs whose first bite against a person resulted in that individual’s death, and where the dog had no history of aggressive behaviour towards humans, every one of the cases I’ve investigated involved dogs that had behaved aggressively towards other dogs in the past. (see the Trempe case example, above) So, while some aggressive dogs may, for now, limit their aggressive behaviour to other animals, it in no way guarantees it will remain that way forever. Most, if not all, the first-time human biters had only behaved aggressively towards other animals, in the past. Their owners, having believed the myth that aggression is species-specific in dogs, are always surprised when their dog-aggressive dogs bite someone. Again, dog-aggression could remain contained, for a number of social and environmental reasons. Statistically, these dogs are equally as likely to bite a human, one day. Dogs with histories of aggressive behaviour (towards either humans or other animals) are almost exclusively involved in unprovoked biting incidents. 13. Nearly all unprovoked dog bites would not be prevented by dog control laws. Since dog control laws typically only apply to the conduct of owners (and their dogs) when they’re on public property, it completely negates their ability to affect the circumstances that lead to the vast majority of unprovoked dog bites. When it comes to total dog bite numbers, almost all take place on the owner’s property. When it comes to reported dog bite numbers, the overwhelming majority take place on, or directly adjacent to, the owner’s property. Supervised dogs in a public place account for less than 1% of all bites. This makes public restraint laws especially ineptly-aimed and ineffective in reducing dog bites. Most unprovoked biting incidents involve (typically an unsupervised) dog known to the victim. Whether or not the victim knows the dog, the bite usually takes place on the owner’s property (where the dog is either loose or tethered), or directly adjacent to the owner’s property (where the dog was either allowed to venture off the owner’s property, or “escaped”). Very few unprovoked biting incidents involve a supervised dog. Simple supervision appears to be very effective in preventing dog bites. When bites take place far from the owner’s property, the dogs involved were most likely loose, roaming, unsupervised dogs. Simply put, public restraint laws don’t target the situations that actually lead to unprovoked dog bites. 14. Cities that address the real causes of unprovoked dog bites (i.e. lack of supervision & lack of socialization and training) are hugely successful in reducing the number of dog bites. Calgary is the best example we have in Canada. They reduced dog bites by 70%, even during a period where the population doubled. Calgary’s approach was to first enforce existing laws. They strictly enforce licensing, and boast a licensing rate of 90% (compared to most cites’ 10-20%). In this way, they have a better handle on the dog population in their community, which helps in making decisions and drawing conclusions. They also have a zero tolerance policy for acts of aggression. (Something I’m personally totally in favour of. Dogs are not weapons, and anyone who unethically uses a dog for that purpose shouldn’t be allowed to own one.) Any report of aggressive behaviour of any kind results in a visit from animal control and a warning. City officials are clear, in that they agree one of the biggest aspects of their success was the creation of ample off-leash areas for dogs to be exercised, socialized, and trained off-leash. With reportedly the largest number of off-leash parks in Canada, it’s no coincidence that Calgary also has the lowest dog bite rate of any major city in Canada. Several years ago, I made this prediction, “When the studies are done, we’ll find the cities with the best access to off-leash parks are also the cities with the lowest percentage of dog bites.” Calgary certainly suggests my prediction was correct. Finally, Calgary increased the penalties for some transgressions. Combined with increased enforcement, the large percentage of licensed dogs, along with the higher fines, has led to Calgary’s animal control department becoming financially self-sufficient. It’s win, win, win, in Calgary, all because they addressed the real causes for unwarranted aggression in dogs. 15. Breed-specific approaches to dog bite prevention have failed. There isn’t one region that can claim a reduction in the number, or severity, of dog bites as a direct result of banning a breed of dog. In Winnipeg, officials promoting the city’s long-time ban on ‘pit bulls’ often misleads the public by stating “’pit bull’ attacks” have been eliminated. Well of course they’ve been eliminated. ‘Pit bulls’ are banned in Winnipeg. You don’t have to be rocket scientist to figure that out. There are also no wooly mammoth attacks or saber toothed tiger attacks, either. When Winnipeg banned ‘pit bulls’, German Shepherds, and their crosses, were far and away the most common biters in that city. After ‘pit bulls’ were banned, there was an average of close to 50 more bites per year, for the following decade. In addition to the rise in overall dog bites, the number of bites by German Shepherds and crosses, Labrador Retrievers and crosses, Terriers crosses, and Rottweilers and crosses, skyrocketed. Kitchener is another example. The city of Kitchener banned ‘pit bulls’ in 1997, without ever having done an analysis on the city’s dog bite data. Only after ‘pit bulls’ were banned was it discovered they were #8 in the 1996 dog bite statistics, “right behind #7 Poodles,” as it is commonly said. In what could only be a deliberate attempt to mislead the public, officials immediately halted the collection of dog bite data by breed. Even so, while we don’t know which breeds have been doing the biting, we can still determine if the ‘pit bull’ ban has been effective in reducing dog bites in Kitchener. Every animal bite is required, by law, to be reported to the Medical Officer of Health. With a sleuthing, it was discovered that dog bites haven’t been reduced at all, since ‘pit bulls’ were banned in 1997. They’ve remained pretty constant. According to a BBC report, hospitalizations due to dog bites rose 25% after ‘pit bulls’ were banned in England. Officials from most of the cities that have repealed breed-specific laws have used terms like “ineffective” and “unenforceable”. 16. All dog breeds are genetically identical. Even DNA can’t distinguish between a Chihuahua, a ‘pit bull’, a Great Dane, and a wolf. (Yes, while there are occasional claims of in-roads, in this area, using markers, all dogs are still considered genetically identical.) Those rare individuals with the personal expertise necessary to accurately attempt to determine a dog’s breed based on appearance alone typically are not employed in the various occupations charged with enforcing most breed-specific legislation. This leaves the subjective determination of a dog’s breed to the very inexpert animal control and shelter workers. In some cases, police officers must decide the dog’s breed, yet not one police officer is trained to (accurately) differentiate between dog breeds. The same can be said of veterinarians. A veterinary license infers expertise in diagnosing and treating illness, for the most part. Neither practicing veterinarians nor veterinary students are required to prove any expertise in breed identification in order to obtain a license. Any expertise an individual veterinarian may possess, in terms of breed identification, or even dog training and behaviour, was most likely acquired outside the requirements of licensing. Because the people enforcing breed-specific laws are not dog breed identification experts, the likelihood of misidentification is unconscionably great. (In Ontario, several dogs have already been misidentified, under breed-specific ordinances.) 17. The public is not in danger of unprovoked dog bites. For instance, every recent dog-related fatality in Canada has involved dogs and victims residing within the same home. The same could be said for the majority of bites and attacks, as well. This is very important information, in terms of quelling the public’s hysteria. “The public” is rarely involved in unprovoked biting incidents. Most bite victims knew the dog and were voluntarily interacting with it at the time of the bite. Most bite victims are bitten by their own dogs. If you don’t own a dog, your risk of being bitten is very low. If you also don’t interact with dogs, or live next door to a dog that is routinely left unsupervised, or one that is known to behave aggressively, then your risk of being bitten is virtually nil. Even when we don’t account for contributing factors (such as proximity) you are still more than 100 times more likely to be hit by lightning than killed by a dog. (In Canada, the likelihood of being killed by a dog you don’t know or live with is virtually zero.) 18. ‘Pit bulls’ are, if anything, less likely to bite. In the U.S., ‘pit bulls’ are estimated to make up 9% of the dog population, yet they typically only make up 2-4% of dog bites, nationwide. In case your readers don’t understand what that means, it would be expected, purely on population alone, that 9% of dog bites would be attributed to ‘pit bulls’. Since less than half (even a third) of bites are reportedly caused by ‘pit bulls’, this suggests they’re much less likely to bite than should be expected. 19. ‘Pit bulls’ are less likely to kill than people. In the U.S., even extremely conservative estimates suggest that only 0.00002% of the ‘pit bull’ population has killed. This is much lower than the human population (men, in particular). Whatever someone’s views about ‘pit bulls’ might be, it can’t change the fact that at least 99.99998% have never, and will never, kill anyone. 20. 99.9% of all dogs, from all breeds, will never be involved in an attack. Huge generalizations about dog breeds is not only unscientific, it’s not even practically accurate. I like to put it this way, “If any ‘breed’ were genetically programmed to attack, certainly more than 0.1% of them would.” 21. The media. While I don’t want to get into a protracted discussion about the lack of honesty in media reports of dog bites, I will summarize by saying that reviewing media reports of dog biting incidents is not “research” because the media is extremely biased in regards to which stories it chooses to cover. The media reports dog biting incidents involving ‘pit bulls’ to the near-exclusion of all others. In addition, they use other tactics to exaggerate the details, such as salacious language, or references to other dog biting incidents involving ‘pit bulls’. There are countless incidents of media bias. In Ontario, a ‘pit bull’ killed another dog, and it was front-page news, that reappeared in the media for weeks. The owner was swiftly taken to jail. Around the same time, two Labs killed another dog, and attacked a ‘pit bull’ without any real media interest. The owner of the Labs was not charged with any serious offence. There are other blatant incidents, as well. One weekend, two off-leash dogs (one of them being a ‘pit bull’) got into a squabble, and every major media agency reported the incident. That same weekend, a child was mauled by the family’s Golden Retriever, and not one media outlet covered the story. A child was mauled so savagely by his grandfather’s Labrador Retriever, he required treatment at two Ontario hospitals. Only one media outlet covered this story in just one broadcast. Again, relying on the media for the facts of dog biting cases is not advised. Naturally, I could go on. But there you have a pretty good primer (off the top of my head), regarding the facts about the who, what, where, when, how, and why dogs bite unprovoked. Because I kept encountering the same story, over and over and over again, in my research of dog biting incidents, I was led to create a dog bite prevention strategy that deals with the factors common to nearly all the cases I’d investigated. I made it simple, and easy to remember. And I made sure not to include anything that would require an individual to develop some kind of expertise. People who don’t own dogs or aren’t experienced dog trainers still have a right to protect themselves from unprovoked dog bites. The following is what I call, the “3 Simple Steps to Dog Bite Prevention”: 1. Avoid unsupervised dogs. 2. Never leave children unsupervised with dogs. 3. Ensure our own dogs are properly trained and adequately supervised at all times. By following these “3 Simple Steps”, we could virtually eliminate unprovoked dog bites in Canada. It is not just important, but vital, to know what ACTUALLY causes dogs to bite unprovoked, if we ever hope to reduce those numbers. Obtusely theorizing about possible causes or solutions is not helpful and, as in the case of breed-specific legislation, is often harmful to both humans and dogs. If you would like more information, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Sincerely, Marjorie Darby Founder,

I used to agree with you until recently. sm [2008-06-11]
We have had a few pits over the years and they were fine. DH brought one home from work recently that he bought for $200, 6-month old fully registered. We had 2 pigmy goats in their pen. Within 3 hours of him bringing this pit home, it attacked and killed one of our goats. My kiddos were trying to get it off the goat before I knew it, could have killed them but they don't understand the seriousness, they were only trying to save their pet. When I realized what was going on, DH and I both tried to get that dog away and neither one of us could until the goat was dead. DH took him and shot him. Fast forward about 2 months and now there is a wild pit I guess someone dropped off around here. I have seen it maybe twice. Killed my kiddos' kitten. Heard lots of commotion one night and went out to see the kitten in its mouth. Not the same pit but you could tell this dog was pit. DH wasn't here but we are trying to locate that dog and it will be disappear as well if I see it on my property again. They don't kill to eat, they kill just to kill. A few years ago, my BIL brought his pit to our family reunion. Had him on a chain and my DS at the time was maybe 6. He as petting him but had a bag of cheetos in his hands. The pit attacked him and almost ripped is ear off before we got him away and probably the only reason we got him away from the pit was because the pit was on a chain and saw it happen instantly. My kids will NEVER be allowed around any pit whatsoever. I say Amen to the representatives trying to pass this bill. I agree with them 100%. You never know when they will attack and I personally now believe it has nothing to do with how they were raised. It is in their genetics.

self tanner... [2008-06-10]
I just bought L'Oreal Bronze self-tanner and it doesn't have any orangy look on me. BUT, it does have a very light sparkle to it, which I'm not really crazy about, but it doesn't really show up anyway. I was surprised how well it stayed on and didn't streak like the others I have tried. After only two applications I can REALLY see a tanned look. Just be sure to exfoliate really good first.....L'Oreal has an exfoliating scrub for this too. Good luck....