Again, hope no one gets the wrong idea....

You're welcome, Kaydie, I just hope it helps you. nm [2008-11-25]
x

You didn't do anything wrong sm [2008-11-25]
Some people never leave the high school mentality. Donvideo games, as long as theyare age-appropriate. They help build hand-eye coordination. I think there was even astory about surgeons playing them because of how much remote-assisted surgeries arebeing done now.As far as board games here, we just got the game of Life and have been playing it lately -- the kids absolutely love it! They also love Uno, Monopoly, and SkipBo. I told them the best thing about these games is that we can play them even if the lights go out (this was during hurricane season).

You definitely have the right idea [2008-11-25]
As long as it's done in moderation I don't see anything wrong with it. It definitely sounds like you have a system that works for you and your family. I guess I'm lucky in that I have daughters, the youngest one is pretty young for video systems, although she does have an educational V-Smile system, and the older one (14) has a Play Station 2 that got old really fast as she got older (we've had it for quite a few years). Now she's into all the girly stuff and has never wanted any of the other systems. We almost got a Wii this Christmas for the whole family but decided against it because of the cost. Our friends have one and it really looks like a lot of fun.

You give me hope... [2008-11-25]
that one day my mother-in-law will be frail and mean, instead of just mean! :)

Anyone ever do you wrong and you got [2008-11-21]
so angry you can I am stewing and no doubt making it much worse on myself, but it is hard to let it go. I went out of my way to be kind to this person on so many occasions only to be treated badly. Any advice?

Great idea!...nm [2008-11-20]
ss

That's a great idea actually! (sm) [2008-11-20]
I agree! Even though I don't get along all the time with my extended family, it would beat being alone all the time. You may have to break your lease, oh well. It is happening everywhere right now. You can only do what you can do.

That's not a bad idea. he's forever putting [2008-11-19]
a few $$ here and a few $$ there in his gas tank and he has a steady girlfriend. Maybe a gift card to the movie theatre too! TY!

You know, this is a good idea. I need [2008-11-19]
to finish out my 19-year-old's. She is away at college, so I think that would be a perfect fit for yer. Thanks!!

Hope venting made you feel better... [2008-11-16]
The thing that struck me the most in your post is that you help a friend by listening to dictation. Is this during *your* work hours? If so, try not to answer the phone. I know, it sounds so simple, but if you have kids, this can betough. Anyhow, if the friend asks why you are not answering, tell her you need to focus on getting lines so you can pay your monthly bills (stress this!). Maybe she will get the hint. I had to do this when a coworker called me constantly. I As for the friends working when they were asked not to, well, unfortunately, it is a supervisors/managerHopefullys/he will take care of this. Good luck.

I agree ... an idea [2008-11-14]
I think it might be better to just tell the story of the real St. Nicholas who was so generous (Google for specific info on him) and tell your child that in remembrance of his special generosity, you will give some presents in his name (and can still call him the evolved Santa name). That way, there is still some special mystery feeling involved but no lies! My 2nd child really got upset too and so did my nephews. It seems it can teach a child to not trust even his/her own parents when going the old route with the whole Santa thing.

I love the bumbper sticker idea!! nm [2008-11-13]
x

That is a good idea. I can try that...again (sm) [2008-11-03]
Thank you for your suggestions.

For your health, I hope you move [2008-11-01]
Not be a smart@ss, but if there For the amount of money you I don It's time to start checking the classifieds.

Good idea! [2008-10-31]
Next time I will take photos. The kindergarten teacher tried to get this kid the appropriate help but the school administration stood in the way. It's horrible. All the kindergarten parents were upset -- we even went to the papers. Nothing worked. This bully hit a girl on the head last year with a chair. He didn't get punished. I'm wondering what happened to the Zero Tolerance policy?

I hope I'll see a message like that! [2008-10-29]
My daughter will be going away to college next year. We're very close, but it would still completely level me if I got a message like that from her! What a precious gift you have!

No, I think I stated that wrong [2008-10-28]
They, for some reason, think we voted for GW (which we didn't). They mainly believe we voted for GW because we lived in the same city as their wacked out relatives who did vote for GW, so they just assumed that because we lived in the same city we voted the same. We voted independent but because they voted for AG and then JK, they think they have higher intelligence than us. Even when we told them we didn't vote for GW. It didn't matter because we didn't vote for who they voted for they consider us the lesser.

NO! Great idea and this is sm [2008-10-23]
I think it is VERY RUDE to expect people to take their hard earned money and be EXPECTED to go out and BUY you something!!!! I think it is shallow, selfish and certainly NOT in keeping with intent of the season. The intent of Christmas, in my book, is to be with people you love and celebrate that love. I can't think of a more lovely way to bless the season and those you care about than taking the time to make a lovely meal and a setting for memories...the greatest gift of all.

I actually got this idea from a friend. She said s/i [2008-10-23]
this year her family was fighting and she said she was just going to make dinner, tell them what day and time and whoever shows up shows up. I just did the same, I emailed my brother and my mom and told them the deal. If they don't like it they can stay home and I will invite my aunt. If she doesn't like it I will invite my grandma. I will feed somebody!! LOL I always thought it was more fun to enjoy the things you can't really do any other time of the year, like drink coco or eggnog by the fireplace or toast marshmallows inside!

What a great gift idea! sm [2008-10-23]
I have been getting massages every week for 6 years now, 4 years with the same massage therapist now. Most places understand how people feel as newbies to massages and will be very cautious with the draping and really go out of their way to make you feel comfortable.I have only ever gone to women massage therapists. Some people elect to leave bras and panties on, but I never have. I have never felt naked or overexposed during my massages. My massage therapist had me answer a longlist of questions before she ever massaged me for the first time about my level of comfort, etc. The key is lots of communication. Heck, though, I have been going to her so long now and she knows exactly where all my sore bits are that I am not self conscious at all and just say bring on the massage! I bet they are going to love it once they relax and get into it!

I think it's a great idea . . . [2008-10-22]
to host Christmas dinner for everyone. And, I also think you should not apologize or feel you have to make excuses for no gifts. This is going to be a lean Christmas for everyone, and you providing and cooking the dinner is a lot of stress and everyone needs to understand that and be appreciative!!

Great idea [2008-10-22]
Hi there. I think your daughters will love getting a massage. I used to be a massage therapist, & what I can tell you is that a good masseuse can accommodate anyone's comfort level, from performing a massage with the person fully clothed to all clothing removed and having the person covered by a sheet, & there are techniques for allowing a person to turn over without being seen by the therapist & otherwise making the person feel their privacy has not been violated, such as allowing the person to undress privately & knocking before entering the room. If the masseuse does not do these things, it is extremely unprofessional & you should go elsewhere. If you have concerns about any of this, you should just talk to the masseuse a little bit beforehand & ask if these are things she can do. If you get the sense she thinks it will be a hassle or will be unable to accommodate your daughters' needs, I would find someone else. No licensed massage therapist (& you should check this as well) should EVER do anything remotely sexual--EVER--& they should always be sensitive to people's levels of comfort. Also the place should be squeaky clean. In the name of due diligence, you can get yourself a massage & try it out! If you don't like it, giving a gift certificate for a facial is another way to go. Equally wonderful.

Great idea [2008-10-22]
Hi there. I think your daughters will love getting a massage. I used to be a massage therapist, & what I can tell you is that a good masseuse can accommodate anyone's comfort level, from performing a massage with the person fully clothed to all clothing removed and having the person covered by a sheet. There are techniques for maintaining a person's privacy, such as allowing a person to turn over without being seen by the therapist, allowing the person to undress privately & knocking before entering the room. If the masseuse does not do these things, it is extremely unprofessional & you should go elsewhere. If you have concerns about any of this, you should just talk to the masseuse a little bit beforehand & ask if these are things she can do. If you get the sense she thinks it will be a hassle or will be unable to accommodate your daughters' needs, I would find someone else. No licensed massage therapist (& you should check this as well) should EVER do anything remotely sexual--EVER--& they should always be sensitive to people's levels of comfort. Also the place should be squeaky clean. What you can expect is a massage that lasts for an hour or whatever you have paid for. You will be shown to a room (a lot like going to the doctor), routine where she likes to start with a certain side (back or front) first, but she should always ask if the person has any specific parts that need attention, I can handle more pressure on my neck, or my back is too sore for that much pressure. The masseuse should not be yakking during the massage. Around halfway through she will ask you to turn over & she should hold the sheet up in such a way as to shield you while you do this. Then she will do the front, which is usually legs & arms, possibly upper chest, and neck. I normally did not do anyone's stomach unless I had massaged them many times, & I never touched a woman's breasts other than to move very large ones out of the way while I did her sides, but I did do the axillae and pecs above the breast. After she is done she should leave quietly & give you a few minutes to stay relaxed on the table & get dressed at your own speed. This is pretty generic, but more or less what to expect the first time. In the name of due diligence, you can get yourself a massage & try it out! If you don't like the massage, giving a gift certificate for a facial is another way to go that is equally wonderful.

I'm so sorry you are going through that! I hope they come to their senses soon! sm [2008-10-21]
I would be so happy if my mom was willing to just try. It hurts me that she won't. I think I am going to give it some time and then try to talk with her. But honestly she has a very hard time listening to anyone else's point of view. She just thinks she's right and that's that. I have butted heads with her since I was a child and I have always been sad when it happens, but I just can't accept her ways of thinking. I truly hope things get better for you though! I think cutting ties with someone should be an absolute last, last resort when nothing else works.

I had no idea either! nm [2008-10-20]
x

Wicked stepmother?? [2008-12-02]
You just did this girl a huge favor by making her take responsibility for herself. I am not much older than she is, but I have been taking responsibility for decades...what is wrong with her, other than she seems totally incapable of managing her own life, can't make a decent adult choice to save her fanny and she has someone to constantly bale her out? I am GLAD you cut her off! I am proud of you for doing it too, it took guts. By helping her at every turn you simply encourage and enable her behavior. BRAVO!

About the coming change to all... [2008-11-30]
If there's anyone left on the planet (well, maybe it's just this country) who doesn't know this, and isn't sick and tired of hearing about it, seeing TV spots about it, etc. It's been going on for what, almost a year? It started before Feb 2008 because some got the idea THAT was when it was going to change, but it was 2009- over a year away. I haven Thinking it was some big news story, I read it, and I don't know if it's been saying this all along but, along with saying you won't get (or might NOT get) good or any TV when it changes, unless you get a converter box, it also says YOU CAN USE A VCR OR DVD (as a convertor)! Not a lot of people don't have a VCR or DVD player and if not, you can get a cheap one for $39.99 or so. So, you can hook up your antenna to the VCR or DVD player and that converts it to the digital the TV needs, and you also get the VCR and DVD player (if you don't already have one)? So, why haven't they said this before? Or, if they have it wasn't stressed. People can get coupons to buy a converter box, more wires and things to hook up, when they can use their VCR or DVD player (or buy a cheap one and watch tapes or DVDs or record, etc. on them, too)? Maybe I have this wrong, but I know it said you either MIGHT need a convertor box, OR a VCR or DVD player to get the digital signal (just not with your TV and anntenna) Just thought I'd pass this on, in case anyone who uses an antenna still hasn't gotten a converter box but might have a VCR or DVD player (or would rather buy one, instead)

agreed except for one thing [2008-11-30]
I hope the guilty are sitting at home realizing they should take responsibility for their actions and not worry about the video and I also hope that they have enough conscience to actually feel guillty and to realize just how immoral their actions are. unfortunately, it appears people just do not have a heart anymore.

Agree. IMO, the people who took the door sm [2008-11-30]
off the hinges should be charged with involuntary manslaughter. Hope the security cameras got a good shot of those SOBs. I read that other workers tried to help the poor trampled man and they also got hurt. Think of how much business these stores would get if they offered such bargains for a longer period. Greed is an evil thing.

The update on kitty - sm [2008-11-30]
I have been overthere at various times of the day and making sure I was there at the regular times I had seen him previously (sometimes 4 times in a single day!) and have not seen him again. I have waited in my car for him and gotten out to call *kitty.* I still have the carrier in my car and I am ready to bring him home. I have put out 2 cans of really yummy canned food over there for him, but they have gone untouched. I sure hope the little guy is okay. I will continue towatch outfor him!

No, but I bought a few things from WP [2008-11-30]
I bought a convetion oven a year ago and it puked out this past week when I wanted to broil a london broil.I was very disappointed. Up until then, I used to make cakes and wholeBBQ chickens on the rotisseie which all were great, plus the baking/roasting things. I'm hoping I just did something wrong when but I'm afraid I might not have. I also have his SS pots and pans bought a year before that that are still sitting in the box because I found anoter set of pots and pans that were given as a Christma giflt, so I'm using them. i will be making chicekn again this week rotiserries style so keep your finers crossed for me. Of course, the warranty ran out prior this happening.

You need to take care of your [2008-11-29]
bills first and not worry about giving gifts. Explain to your family that you will not be giving gifts this year and you expect nothing in return. They may not like it but they will get over it. If they ask questions about what you do with your money (which really is none of their business)just answer them with the economy being so bad you are unable to give gifts. I would hope they understand as everybody is going through it right now. You may feel uncomfortable, but at least you will be able to sleep and not worry whether your bills will be paid or not. Stand firm on this and DO NOT feel guilty as there is no reason to be. I have also chosen not to exchange gifts this year as I cannot do it. I was surprised that my brother was relieved. Everybody is feeling the crunch. I wish you much luck!

Has society become this bad and why [2008-11-29]
I saw the post down below about the Wal-Mart worker. Here is a new article that just came out (link below). The police are now looking at video surveillance to see who trampled this poor worker to death. Personally I hope they find all responsible and prosecute them to the fullest. It doesn I like their store just fine, it is what society is doing to people that nobody even bothered to stop and help this person. I grew up in the 60s/70s in a small town in New England. Maybe I'm old fashioned but my parents/grandparents taught me better than this. I just can And for what? Getting a Christimas item? This is one of many reasons why I do my Christmas shopping (what very little I do) online and gift cards. I think the traditions of the big shopping day the day after Thanksgiving should go away. I really donlove thy neighbor, not trample, bite, and spit at them so you can grab that item. (BTW - you can shop online at Walmart too). I think to myself that I thought the spirit of Christmas was supposed to celebrate Christ. Oh yeah, I'm sure he is so proud of people like those who harm others and cause death so they can get what they want. I hope those guilty are sitting at home worrying about whether or not their face is going to show up on the video camera. http://apnews.myway.com/article/20081129/D94OJ4NG0.html

I agree with you 100%! [2008-11-29]
Christmas has become this commercialized that people have forgotten the meaning. As for the stores, I think they need to come up with a better idea than allowing these people to wait for hours outside for their bargains which only happen that one day. This is why people get so uptight. I personally don't do Black Friday just for this reason. I think my family would appreciate having me around for Christmas, not having my funeral.

I think I am anti-gift giving this year [2008-11-28]
Money is so tight right now I am no sure how I am going to pay my bills this December.I had some unexpectedbills come up that needed to be taken care of. On top of that, I have to come up with X-mas gifts for everyone and they do not like cheap things. Their idea of cheap is hand-made and they do not like it. So that is out. I just got a part-time job but that is not going to kick in a whole lot of money until closer to the end of the year. I would like to opt out of gift giving this year but if I suggest it I get the lecture from family members of what do you do with your money?, what are you spending it on? and other invasive questions. The other unforunate thing is I live in the same town with them. The most inexpensive thing on my niece She is not careful with these and she has already gone through so many. To top it all off I have 3 birthdays in December. I really hate this time of year. Any suggestions on how to tell them to just buy for them and not for me and let me out of this so-called family time? Sorry to be so bitter.

sorry for your situation. it is a [2008-11-28]
shame there is so much focus on the gifts. no, i doncharity begins at home). God bless.

Thank goodness [2008-11-27]
I thought we were the ones losing it. Like we were just big eaters or something, which I know in my head isn't the case. It's nice to know others go through these things. Hard boiled eggs are another good idea. I could just say it's something my mom makes and I can't have a Thanksgiving without them.

A friend's grandmother [2008-11-27]
A friend She had tubes and tubes of it stashed. Anytime you were going over there and called to ask if she needed anything, the answer was always the same - Polident. LOL, oh well, it was harmless, so who cared? Kind of cute. I hope when Ilosing it that at leastI

Holidays are hard [2008-11-26]
My parents were divorced so my sister and I spent many years shuffling between two houses. When we each got married and had our own families the situation got even more complex. My parents are now deceased and my sister and I are estranged (even though we live in the same town), so in some ways life has gotten simpler. I still get very emotional and depressed around the holidays because of my dysfunctional childhood and negative expectations, but I don't have as much guilt and stress anymore. My husband's parents and family are back in our hometown 600 miles away, and for the last few years he's gone back there for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with our youngest child. I don't begrudge him that because his folks are elderly and I don't want him to have any regrets later. I can't go with him because we have a lot of animals to take care of, and frankly, I'm really comfortable just hanging out at home with them anyway. We have adult kids too, and two grandchildren, and I encourage all of them to live their lives without the burden of guilt and feelings of obligation. If they can come by and have dinner or visit that's great, and if not BIG DEAL. Honestly, it's just a day. Things got easier for us when we realized we didn't necessarily have to celebrate a holiday on the exact day it was scheduled. I really understand your not wanting to let your mom down, and I would feel the same way. Your husband is a big boy and has made a choice, so that's on him, not you. He's probably being a bit immature and stubborn on this one. I hope you'll extend the invitation to your husband one more time, then go to your mom's and enjoy yourself whether he comes along or not.

Take a sewing class, and take the machine - sm [2008-11-26]
with you. There you will learn how to use it and how to sew too. I have been sewing since I took home-ec in 7th grade. I have a Singer that is about 20 years old or more. It is a pretty basic one with about 12 different stitch types. Have never had an issue. Sounds like you donhow to sew class. Call a local craft store and see what they offer. Even one private lesson would probably do you a world of good. Good luck.

I trust my daughter but not her friends [2008-11-26]
I think my daughter knows right from wrong and would not do anything inappropriate, but I worry about the boys. They seem to be able to do a lot more than what I allow my daughter to do... some of them are older and also they have very bad manners IMO. I wish she would find someone else to hang out with. It seems like that harder I try to change her behavior, the harder she pulls in the other direction. Are all teenaged girls like that? I guess I was too at that age, but it still worries me.

men [2008-11-26]
Unless your husband saw the four potatoes sitting on the counter and his mom said that is it for 13 people, I would have to guess that husband is exaggerating a little bit, but I still think your tray idea is a good thing just in case.

Here's mine for bugeyes... our version of buckeyes... sm [2008-11-25]
I hear that I am a good candy maker and my secret is I don I eyeball everything! Lazy! So the measurements I give are kind of guesses... but you can look up recipe for buckeye candy too. We changed the name of ours to bug eyes because they kind of looked like bulging out bug eyes Peanut Butter - approx 2-3 cups. I use Skippy Honey Nut. In a household taste test with another regular brand this got higher review. Definitely go for a creamy kind and don't use all natural. 3-4 cups powdered sugar (I specifically remember the recipe called for 3, but when I looked in the box there was not that much sugar left in there, so I dumped it in. So basically one whole box of powdered sugar) 2 sticks butter 1 package of chocolate chips. I I think the recipe was actually for those melting choc chips, but I think those don Beat BP and 1 stick softened butter in very large bowl until PB is really creamy then slowly add in sugar until it seems to hold together well enough to form balls. I say slowly on adding in the sugar so you can stop whenyou can make good balls that are moist and not crumbly. Probably about 1-inch size balls or so. Use waxed paper on a baking sheet and stick in the freezer for about an hour. When hour is up, melt chocolate and about half of the other stick of butter together in pot on stove. You can microwave but I think slowly stirring over the stove is easier to monitor. When all of the chips have melted together, you are done. Don I put tiny slivers of unmelted chocolate in the middle of the uncovered part to look like pupils. Keep in fridge until set. I hope someone enjoys. This is probably a very common recipe, and like I said you can probably find it somewhere with real measurements!. But it is so easy, one of those ones I can make without looking at the instructions over and over and everyone loves. I cannot wait to make them, after typing about it!

That's really petty [2008-11-25]
I did sympathize with your plight until now. The idea of now taking something of his and hiding it is about as childish as humanly possible. I assume you want this disagreement to last well into 2009 and, at the same time, apparently you don't care if your marriage DOESN'T last through 2009.

That's so ridiculously childish. [2008-11-25]
First you come here asking for opinions when what you really want is to be told you are right and he's wrong, and now you are pulling this little stunt? Pleeeeze grow up woman.

STOP IT [2008-11-25]
quit putting yourself down - Your child will never hate you - your husband will not hate you - You have done nothing wrong.. SOME people today do put too much emphasis on material things -but you know as well as I do that material things are not that important. . Your heart is what is important. . Love your child and husband and continue being the good person you are - Do you think those people are better than you because they have a lot of land? No - they may have more money but they are no better - and from the way they treat other people - it sounds like they are not as good as you. . And the gifts you gave the child were fine - people would be a lot better off playing board games with their kids than letting them play video games all the time.

I think you hit the nail on the head. [2008-11-25]
I have also had a few more days to think about what the other posters said too. Whether I want to admit it or not, hormones do make the moment seem worse and make me want to snap into all or nothing. You have some great ideas. I agree that she didn't need to get me a gift if she wasn't coming to the shower, and probably would have preferred that rather than get me a gift of the wrong gender. At any rate, I will send her a nice thank you and call her to see how her wedding went since I was not able to be there for the big day. I will also make mention to her that evening before I leave that I would still like to see her, if even for a few minutes. It's a male/female shower at a sports bar so if nothing else I would like to get to know her husband better. I don't want this to ruin the small bit of friendship we still have left or my shower but she was honestly the only person I was really looking forward to being at my shower. but I must get over that and be greatful that we are still friends in some way.

This all comes down to the parents [2008-11-25]
I think those women are making a big mistake. I love my sister and nephew, don But he is like that 7 yo and it drives me crazy. BUT my sister and BIL are to blame, I feel. He gets a toy every time they He gets a new toy if he My sister feels guilty if he likes something and she doesn They buy him major video games just because, instead of reserving these things for birthdays or Christmas. They will go out and buy him a $200 item in the middle of the week and when I ask what the occasion is? Nothing, we just thought he'd like it! He is well behaved and they don Yes, it Growing up when we would talk, my sister had definite opinions about what she would and would not do when she had children, and this is not how she felt back then. But he doesn In my opinion, they Just my opinion.

You definitely have the right idea [2008-11-25]
As long as it's done in moderation I don't see anything wrong with it. It definitely sounds like you have a system that works for you and your family. I guess I'm lucky in that I have daughters, the youngest one is pretty young for video systems, although she does have an educational V-Smile system, and the older one (14) has a Play Station 2 that got old really fast as she got older (we've had it for quite a few years). Now she's into all the girly stuff and has never wanted any of the other systems. We almost got a Wii this Christmas for the whole family but decided against it because of the cost. Our friends have one and it really looks like a lot of fun.

Yes. My son's second wife never [2008-11-25]
cooked. It was always McD's, Taco Bell, Pizza, etc. She never cleaned either. All she knew how to do was spend the bill money. (She didn't work, BTW). Now my grandson is on a diet at 15 yo, 195 pounds.Thank heavens, my son woke up and got rid of her. My mom worked every day and when she came home, made supper and it was always on the table by 5-5:30. If my father was on the 2nd shift, she'd make him a hot meal, put it in a square metal container and I would bicycle it to his work. When I was old enough to use the stove, I would make supper once or twice a night. In the summer, I would clean the house so she would have less to do. I worked 2 jobs most of my life, but always had time to take my boys to their baseball practice, wrestling practice, and when old enough, to their PT joband pick them up at 10-11:00 when they would get off, went to open house every year to see how they were doing, etc. I also made sure their homework was done (not that boys really bring homework home in those days LOL), had a meal on the table for them every night, never had snacks like chips or pretzels in the house. The only thing they had to drink was water or milk. No soda. BTW, my husband during this time was away from home all week, so it was all left to me. The parents today are too pressured, as are the kids. Kids are not allowed to be kids anymore. They are 7 going on 70. I think it's time they get back to being normal kids. They need breathing room. I don't know who ever decided that the kids had to be in every sport, every club, every volunteer activity the school has, but it's crazy. Not all kids fit that mold and they shouldn't have to. Plus their grades are expected to be A's and B's, nothing less. Perfection is the norm and no one is perfect. What's wrong with this picture? I'll jump down from my soapbox now.