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I agree [2008-12-04]
Unless I get their name in the name draw, I only buy for their kids a little something. My stepdaughter works in a Hallmark store and has never sent one card for any reason to this house to anyone. There is a Buddist saying that a kind gesture not repaid weighs like an ocean upon the recipient, so why make them feel guilty?

Absolutely agree [2008-12-03]
I say screw everyone else including your husband if he decides the wedding is more important than the graduation. Personally I would leave it in my husband's hands to respond appropriately. As my husband likes to tell people, it's easier for him NOT to tick off his wife. lol and if they continue to act this way toward you, I would NOT send them a gift or even try to make it to the wedding/reception/or anything else.

Gotta agree with the point about smoking! (sm) [2008-12-02]
I hated it when I was a kid and everywhere you went was smoke-filled. I am so glad that there are rules about it now, although I do think some places go a little overboard with things like no smoking on the premises at all, etc.

I agree with Stardust and Deb...... [2008-12-01]
your sisters are toxic and you need to let them go. Even though they are family, there is no reason why you have to put up with that crap. When people take away your happiness knowingly, it is time to let go. It sounds as though you have done all you could and things obviously are not going to get better. Keep your relationship with your older sister but cut ties with the others. I have an aunt who is like that. Unfortunately she is 80 so because of that, I try to suck it up but it is so hard. If she were younger, I would have cut all communication long ago. She is abusive, insults me at every chance, etc. Funny how I am the only one who calls her every two days and goes up to see her all the time. When I call or go up, it is very stressful. I know what you are dealing with and no one should have to feel inadequate at the expense of another person.

I've read the same thing about bathing dogs. sm [2008-11-30]
I have a Sheltie, and the Sheltie book recommends bathing when s/he gets very dirty or before a show. They don't need routine bathing. They need frequent brushing which removes dirt. Some dog breeds don't have oily coats, so don't smell. Sheltie is one of them, a collie is probably the same. I recommend taking Maggie to the groomer for a good brushing every other week or so. It would be good for Maggie's coat and skin. The groomer can advise you when she needs a bath.

Agree. IMO, the people who took the door sm [2008-11-30]
off the hinges should be charged with involuntary manslaughter. Hope the security cameras got a good shot of those SOBs. I read that other workers tried to help the poor trampled man and they also got hurt. Think of how much business these stores would get if they offered such bargains for a longer period. Greed is an evil thing.

I agree with you 100%! [2008-11-29]
Christmas has become this commercialized that people have forgotten the meaning. As for the stores, I think they need to come up with a better idea than allowing these people to wait for hours outside for their bargains which only happen that one day. This is why people get so uptight. I personally don't do Black Friday just for this reason. I think my family would appreciate having me around for Christmas, not having my funeral.

I have 3 dogs [2008-11-28]
My newest addition is a dauchshound puppy. I got her back in March (or maybe April - can Anyway, she is now 9 months old and all puppy. She is relentless with my other 2 dogs, especially my little Maltese who is 7 years old. Just runs around her, nipping at her tail, and racing away. I know she And she doesn So, when you have had this situation, how do you stop it? How do I get this puppy to understand that she needs to stop this behavior? Other then this annoying habit of hers, she's a wonderful, funny, loving little girl!

i agree not to lie, but allow the fairy tale!! [2008-11-27]
i always asked questions -- like really? you don't think there is a santa claus?? etc. Its fun for the imagination. My grown daughter now tells how she used to listen for the reindeer's footsteps on the roof -- and one night she thought she heard them!! Its a fun thing. But no, i never lied. If you EVER lie to your children, they will always question your honesty in a sensitive matter.

Agree with old part-timer [2008-11-25]
what's done is done. Is it worth the argument? He won't understand. Get it back, talk to him and let him know next time you would appreciate if he asked you first or asked them to come back when you are home. I would even ask him how he would like you to proceed which such a request of his things in his absence. He may not admit it but I bet he'll think about it later. If you are going to argue about something, make sure its worth the strain on your marriage.

I agree and when you do get it back [2008-11-24]
hide it! HAHA! No one can find to lend it out ever again!

Agree with OP [2008-11-24]
Whew, this hit a nerve with me! My last guy thought everything we owned (that I bought) was community property. Anything anybody lacked, mine was theirs for the taking - be it my food, yard tools, my car, my cell phone, anything at all. He My most unforgettable time was when he whined and begged until I charged him a $500 tool set on my credit card. Within a week he had loaned the entire set to a brand new acquaintance, and gee, wow, someone stole it from THEM. Of course, if Ihave a problem withthis I am just a selfish B who doesn OK, so be it - I'm not a charity for every mooch he meets just so HE can look like a nice guy. Those of you who think that possessions mean nothing, perhaps they don But it gives you no right to think mine mean nothing to ME. Nobody else has a clue what sacrifices I might have made to afford my possessions, or how much sentimental value they may hold, or how difficult they may be to replace. Some of the old junk I own was handmade by my grandparents! IMHO, its a violation of trust to sneak something out of the house owned by someone you love and put it in the hands of strangers. Whose feelings SHOULD matter more? The needy stranger? The wanna-be Mr. Generous? Or the OWNER of the item? OP, your husband needs a wake up call. Take something that has great emotional value to him and hide it - the harder to replace, the better. When he finds it missing, tell him you loaned it to someone you barely know because you felt the need to appear magnanimous, and you KNEW he wouldn I think that should get the message across, and if it doesn't repeat it as many times as necessary.

agree with the clean up, and remove programs not used. sm [2008-11-21]
research the computer site, like dell, etc. sometimes they have forums, questions and answer areas. sometimes they offer fixes if it was a company glitch. but first get your ducks in a row by defragmenting and freeing up space.

I agree with all of the above. sm [2008-11-21]
You are younger than you think. Also, I do not agree with the 2nd BOS but I do read their foolish rules, and especially learn the dosages, etc. That is the only worthwhile change that is important. I think you would do great working on your own with your own accounts as you have a lot of years ahead to work, but either way, you will do well. Some of these tests are ridiculous,so don't feel bad about them as they are looking for low-rate compensation and I found SOME of those in supervisory positions, only some, don't know what they're doing. Some of them are not true transcriptionists. So don't be discouraged, there is something out there for you. Don't settle for less, it's not you - it's the way the industry is right now and many are being taken advantage of. Be choosy, don't work for less than you're worth. You can do it! Watch out for those who may try to take advantage of you though - there are some money-grabbing numb nuts out there running these companies. Be choosy who you trust. Trust yourself! Good luck! {{ }}

Oh do I agree with you....sm [2008-11-21]
and he looks like he just plain out enjoys whatever job he is doing. Did you see the one with the alligators in LA? He almost lost his family jewels. LOL. He is as hyper as Ty Pennington.

Agree with poster below that [2008-11-20]
you need to get out of that situation, especially after reading what you son said. He is being damaged, and I have seen firsthand what that damage can do to you as an adult. Dysfunctional doesn't begin to describe it. Take action ASAP. I wish you the best of luck, I know it isn't easy.

I agree with the posters below. [2008-11-20]
You need to move closer to family and see a doctor. You can also find the local social services department and they will provide free medications for 6 months. you will have to see one of their doctors but and fill out some paperwork but that's the only catch. Depression is higher around the holidays. The weather, finances, family, on top of every day stresses can be overwhelming. Being in this antisocial job doesn't help either. I have often thought of getting something a few days a week just to get out of the house. I think it would do anyone good. Know that things could always be worse and they will get better. Your grandson is young, he doesnwhere as this is a common occurrence in kids. I thought it was only my child but since have found many others are the same. Keep your head up and do what you can. It's ok to cry and vent to others. Don't keep it all bottled up inside. You will be surprised to find who your true friends and family are when you open up and really need them.

Agree with below, don't bottle it up sm [2008-11-20]
I tend to do this also and ended up with shingles at the age of 14 and again at age 34 last year due to stress. Meeting new people as suggested by others is a great idea. If you want, trying visiting a local church. This is one of the things that helped me the most since I started going again. The socialization alone has been almost as good for me as the messages.

Dogs v kids [2008-11-18]
I am a sucker for a pretty face & don't have kids, so I am at my dogs' mercy. You should see their stockpile of dog treats. It's ridiculous. School lunches. $2 a day! Doesn't sound like a lot for a meal, but it sure adds up...you would think they would give you some kind of deal because you have 3 kids. I guess I'm assuming they all go to the same school. Now I'm dating myself, but when I was in elementary school I think it cost 40 or 45 cents for lunch. A nickel for milk. Amazing!

But it may end badly for the dogs [2008-11-16]
They may not be taken care of when he I would tell him though that he needs to buy or pay for the dog food and put a time limit on how long you You're a good person to make sure they're taken care of.

I agree with your husband. [2008-11-16]
Women don't do that to each other. The ones that do aren't worth knowing.

I agree with your new husband (sm) [2008-11-16]
When she lied to you in the beginning, that said it all. Especially to go so far as to not be able to believe you would accuse her of something like that. I would have to cut my losses and count myself as having one less friend. She stopped being your friend the day she chose to secretly see your husband.

No, Blondie, give the dogs back or call the Humane Society.....s/m [2008-11-16]
who can take care of 10 (t e n ) dogs? This is CRAZY! Your husband is a coward. He should protect you. God knows what a 'deal' he made with this 'friend'.

I agree, beans and all legumes are a great source for.......sm [2008-11-15]
plant protein and fiber. Great option for vegetarian. This is a great beanice dish: rice beans (any kind) onions (chopped small) olives turmeric spices Fry a little in olive oil or canola oil, then cook in water, 1:2, or 1:1/2, depending on kind of rice. You can substitute beans with lentils or chickpeas, or put all 3 together....

I agree with you [2008-11-15]
Santa is a fun fantasy for children and what is the harm in a character who gives gifts to children who behave. There are far worse things for a child to believe in!


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favorite new inventions [2008-12-02]
Dish Network Sirius Radio (no commercials) Anti-smoking legislation (can you believe we used to smoke in the grocery store and movie theater?) 100 choices of shampoo that smells good. Debit Cards Dishwashers I agree internet turned out to be much cooler than I thought it would be.

Tell her you've gone into the petsitting business [2008-12-01]
(In my area petsitters charge $20 per visit for one animal, $5 extra for each additional animal in the household. That doesn't include extras like walking dogs, giving medications, etc. If she expects you to take a cat to the vet if it gets sick while she's away, she should leave you a signed, blank check made out to the local emergency veterinary medical center. Most won't let you in the door for less than $500, and won't treat the animal 'til that's paid. My guess is your sis would be inclined not to pay you back if it were to come out of your pocket. Might consider having her sign a waiver of liability, too.)

How often to bathe a dog? [2008-11-30]
I had read somewhere that dogs should not be bathed very often. I know I don't do it often enough, by any means. But someone told me that my collie mix Maggie needs a bath. Well, she just had one about a month ago, and I have never given her that many. Should I take her back to the groomer? (Iratty looking.)

Is she actually dirty or does she have an odor problem? [2008-11-30]
Who told you she needs a bath? Can I ask why you aren't able to brush her? There are a lot of new products and tools that can help if you have a problem with your hands or arms. I have clients who get their dogs bathed every week but I really don't recommend that, especially for a collie type of coat. Unless your groomer missed something she should be good for quite awhile in that department.

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

I have 3 dogs [2008-11-28]
My newest addition is a dauchshound puppy. I got her back in March (or maybe April - can Anyway, she is now 9 months old and all puppy. She is relentless with my other 2 dogs, especially my little Maltese who is 7 years old. Just runs around her, nipping at her tail, and racing away. I know she And she doesn So, when you have had this situation, how do you stop it? How do I get this puppy to understand that she needs to stop this behavior? Other then this annoying habit of hers, she's a wonderful, funny, loving little girl!

Are you cage training her? [2008-11-28]
If so, put her in her cage when she gets too rambunctious (sp?). Our new puppy is also about 8 or 9 months old, and she knows the meaning of NO and STOP BITING. Also, have you tried spraying her with water? it works on most dogs and cats.

Ah! There is your problem, Singers are worthless! sm [2008-11-27]
Seriously, they are. They have been made in Japan for 35 years or better. Japanese sewing machines are the WORST. Janhome (sp?), White, Necchi, Juki...all Japanese and all terrible things! Brother is from there too these days. They don't keep their tension, they are notoriously difficult to thread and they don't stitch worth a $hyte. If want something you can use for many, many years...you get a Pfaff, an Elna or a Bernina. They are European made. Pfaff has lots of bells and whistles for less money (I swear by a Pfaff and own 4 of them (2 regular, 2 sergers). Bernina is an excellent machine, but plenty of money gets you basics and fancy stuff like an extra presser foot is very pricey (A Pfaff ruffler is like $100, but a Bernina is more like $250). I know Pfaff's best. They have a hook around back to thread your needle for you. They have a fully adjustable tension and it DOES hold and will revert back when you change it. This is something a Singer will never ever cooperate with. Change the tension once and it won't go back no matter where the knob is. They are dead easy to thread and do so in a way that you never have to thread a slot, hole or needle eye. I know you are thinking too much money. One, you get what you pay for, and two, a second-hand Pfaff that has been reconditioned by a factory-trained mechanic is every bit as good as a brand new one. Unlike the Japanese machines, European ones have almost no moving parts, and they are modular. Burn out a motor (I have done this) and the old one snaps out and the new one snaps right in. I can also tell you I was a professional dressmaker of 10 years. In that time I killed a Singer serger, a Juki serger, a Singer lightweight, a New Home and a Necchi. For the second half of those years, I went to a Pfaff. I used the first one so much I wore the carbon brushes out in 15 months, grooved the armature on the motor and had to replace the motor!!! It worked great after that and I sold it for $200 less than I had paid for it new. Right now, to replace the 4 I have would cost me $20,000, but I own the very best, latest thing when I bought what I have. I own the first sewing machine model to retail for over $3000 (at $3399) but I didn't pay anywhere near that because you CAN negotiate on prices of sewing machines at independent retailers. I traded something in and bought 2 new regular machines with a total retail of $5000 and walked out with both for $1800 and that trade in. On a used machine they often make even better deals. No Virginia, it is not you! It is the SEWING MACHINE.

just go, forget this child play and really, really enjoy ---- [2008-11-26]
yourself without him. He'll change his tune. If you allow this behavior and kiss pratt for it - you'll have to do that whatever and whenever the whim suits him. agree with other poster - he he can't put himself aside for a couple of hours for your sake and the sake of the whole family...then it is he the problem.

Hanging out at your house is a good thing [2008-11-26]
as long as you are there. My house became the hang out house, and it was hard, especially when I was trying to get my work done. But I knew where they were and could step in and keep things under control when necessary. I donrule of 16 which meant my sons could not date until they were 16 years old. Boys don't really seem to fight this so much. My oldest didn't have a steady girlfriend until he was 18. My youngest was 17 when he first started dating. I also had problems with some of their friends being just plain rude. They'd swear, never say please or thank you, and just generally act like snotty brats at times. That wasn't a problem for me. I corrected them and taught them manners. I used humor, which again boys seem to respond to. Usually, when we had girls over who acted that way, the boys were quick to correct them, and I didn't have to step in myself. As far as going out, my boys did go out to hang at the local pizza parlor in mixed groups when they were 13. I never had a problem, but they were held to time limits. I think itYou know, I Good luck!

what about the transportation issues [2008-11-26]
I agree, it is so much easier on the days that the kids are busy with afterschool activities and sports. But my question is: How do you sign kids up for activities when you work all day? How do they get there? And how do they get home? She is too old for daycare and too young to hang out with kids who drive. LOL. She is in the middle, and as you know it is a difficult age! So what can kids do at 13 when school is closed and no one is available to drive but still stay out of trouble? It's nice when they hang out here but then I get no work done and end up pulling all my hair out.

oh no, he's not exaggerating. [2008-11-26]
Ordinarily I would agree with you that men are...well...kinda dumb sometimes. lol But, this has been a recurrent problem lately. That's why he specifically asked her about it. We were invited to dinner a couple weeks ago and she bought 2 medium pizzas for 9 people, 3 of which are teenagers. I am not a big eater by any means but I came home and made dinner. This is only one example. It's been happening for about 6 months now. I know they are on a budget like the rest of the world but that doesn't mean you have to invite everyone over if you can't feed them.

I think you hit the nail on the head. [2008-11-25]
I have also had a few more days to think about what the other posters said too. Whether I want to admit it or not, hormones do make the moment seem worse and make me want to snap into all or nothing. You have some great ideas. I agree that she didn't need to get me a gift if she wasn't coming to the shower, and probably would have preferred that rather than get me a gift of the wrong gender. At any rate, I will send her a nice thank you and call her to see how her wedding went since I was not able to be there for the big day. I will also make mention to her that evening before I leave that I would still like to see her, if even for a few minutes. It's a male/female shower at a sports bar so if nothing else I would like to get to know her husband better. I don't want this to ruin the small bit of friendship we still have left or my shower but she was honestly the only person I was really looking forward to being at my shower. but I must get over that and be greatful that we are still friends in some way.

Maybe your husband........... sm [2008-11-25]
would agree to a temporary arrangement with new kitty staying on your enclosed back porch until you could find him a good home? I know I did that once. I brought home a poor kitten in the dead of a snowy winter until a good home could be found. He is still here with us 10 years later.

First off, you're pregnant [2008-11-24]
that in itself will make this situation feel 10 times worse than it is. Having said that, I do agree that I would be a little miffed, myself. It She I would also agree with the poster below that you have grown apart. Being that you Ifun years before I got married and then before I had children. You're just at different places in your life. The best way to handle the situation is to go to her party as planned. I would not splurge for the $50 gift card. I If youwild days. You don Anyone would understand a pregnant woman would be tired from such a long travel and then the party. When you leave, be sure to seek her out and let her know that you If not, let it go. If you haven Believe it or not, some people would think they didn You have so much to look forward to and baby showers are way better than bridal showers/receptions anyday. You can eat as much as you want and all your guests will say is how cute you look. Don

My opinion [2008-11-24]
While on some level I agree with the others about having a giving nature, I understand where you are coming from completely. I am not really a material girl, but some things I would rather not lend, at least not without being able to explain how to care for the item. I mean, if I paid for it, and I am by no means rich or even the slightest bit well off, I do not want to have to save up my money to purchase another of the same thing that I would have kept in good condition for life, and I shouldnI usually use a fork too, but DH just bought these and offered her a large plastic cooking fork. She just explained that she wasn't going to scratch it and kept right on doing what she was doing. People oftentimes do not care when it is not theirs. Sorry so long, guess it hit a nerve. I have so many of these it wasn' theirs so they didn't care stories I could just go on and on. It is annoying.

Dirty Jobs [2008-11-23]
Same here, my husband and son don't know I like him either. I'm afraid that would ruin it for them and they would never want to watch it. I love the Mike. He is hilarious and I agree with the other posters - the goeduck episode was the best ever! I can watch it over and over and LMAO every time. I giggle just thinking about it.

Do you think cures are really hidden from us? [2008-11-22]
I used to think this was silly when people thought this, but as I've seen things happen in my own life and look around at our world, I think this could be true. For example, I have used several products that are not FDA approved and they work better than most things my doctor's pills didn't cure. I used a salve to cure my skin cancer when doctors didn't get it twice with surgery. I used the itworkspaste to remove my moles, skin tags and warts. I use sota instruments who bob beck recommended on youtube as the device of the future which fights all viruses and bacteria. I've seen it get rid of my moms bronchitis, my dogs paw infection, my sons mono, my flus, etc. I asked the cancer salve people why this wasncause it and if the pharmaceuticals can't get money from it, then most likely you won't see it FDA approved unless you had millions of dollars. And if the FDA cared so much about us, why in the world would we allow cigarettes to be legal? Think about it...the cigarettes keep you hooked, you get cancer, then go through the hoop of chemo. You become a great high paying customer. What are your thoughts on it. And, have you ever used a product that is not FDA that you swear by? Please share...thank you!

I agree with all of the above. sm [2008-11-21]
You are younger than you think. Also, I do not agree with the 2nd BOS but I do read their foolish rules, and especially learn the dosages, etc. That is the only worthwhile change that is important. I think you would do great working on your own with your own accounts as you have a lot of years ahead to work, but either way, you will do well. Some of these tests are ridiculous,so don't feel bad about them as they are looking for low-rate compensation and I found SOME of those in supervisory positions, only some, don't know what they're doing. Some of them are not true transcriptionists. So don't be discouraged, there is something out there for you. Don't settle for less, it's not you - it's the way the industry is right now and many are being taken advantage of. Be choosy, don't work for less than you're worth. You can do it! Watch out for those who may try to take advantage of you though - there are some money-grabbing numb nuts out there running these companies. Be choosy who you trust. Trust yourself! Good luck! {{ }}

That's a great idea actually! (sm) [2008-11-20]
I agree! Even though I don't get along all the time with my extended family, it would beat being alone all the time. You may have to break your lease, oh well. It is happening everywhere right now. You can only do what you can do.

Don't use your debit cards [2008-11-19]
I had a problem with fraud on my account through them. Surely they have fixed it by now, as this was last year and the year before (yes 2 separate occurrences, both at xmas time). So I would not suggest using any cards there but cash only. I do agree that it seems to be a great idea for teens. Their prices are great and our location has always been helpful with advise, returns, etc. Another good idea I have found for teenagers is a gift card for restaurants or gas stations. It helps their parents a bit and if they have a girlfriend/boyfriend places like AppleBees or Red Lobster are nice so that they can go on a nice date and not have to worry about $30 for the bill. Even with a part-time job that's a lot of money for a teenager! :) My nephew actually requests it.

My family is hurting :( [2008-11-19]
Some of you may remember the recent pet picture postings here. I posted a picture of my baby girl, Daisy, nursing her three babies who arenow nearly two years old. My husbandcame home about an hour and a half ago and went to let them inside, and the only boy (besides the dad), Chewy,did not come with the others. They all always come up on the deck when they hear his car, so he knew something was going on. He came into my office and asked if we had Chewy with us, and then went to see if he had gotten out of the fence. A few minutes later he came in and said that he found him still in the backyard, lying under the trees on a pile of leaves, and that he wasdead. We are all so sad . We do not know what happenedto our baby .. . he had been fine just a couple of hours before, when my son got home from school and went to see the dogs. He said that Chewy was acting no differently than usual and seemed fine. I am just beside myself not knowing what happened to this sweet little guy. He was the SWEETEST EVER and we will miss him dearly. WE LOVE YOU,CHEWY!!! May you rest in peace.

Dogs v kids [2008-11-18]
I am a sucker for a pretty face & don't have kids, so I am at my dogs' mercy. You should see their stockpile of dog treats. It's ridiculous. School lunches. $2 a day! Doesn't sound like a lot for a meal, but it sure adds up...you would think they would give you some kind of deal because you have 3 kids. I guess I'm assuming they all go to the same school. Now I'm dating myself, but when I was in elementary school I think it cost 40 or 45 cents for lunch. A nickel for milk. Amazing!

Almost never [2008-11-18]
Idown the hill (mountain-speak for a trip to Costco-land, around 60 miles away), I stop at In-N-Out (famous LA burger chain). Cost: $10, including 2 small plain hamburgers with nothing but bread & meat & cheese for...guess who? Yes. My dogs. I know, I know. The starving kids in China. You can see my kids in the Doggy post: http://forum.mtstars.com/misc/v/5/42327.html Can you blame me?

thank you! [2008-11-17]
you can read his story here: http://www.dogster.com/dogs/600278



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