As the mother of two young daughters

I quit (I am still fairly young, so only smoked 8 years), but [2008-12-03]
I feel so much better. Even if someday I get lung cancer despite having quite, I am thankful to not wake up coughing every morning and to have clothes that don't stink and to be able to tell my kids not to smoke without being a hyprocrite. I can tell them why I quit. Mostly, I just feel better for the time being and that is enough. Plus, I save A LOT of money because cigarettes were darned expensive in Washington state.

Am I the Wicked Step-Mother? [2008-12-02]
I know I don't post here much but I do read and feel you are all friends. I offer prayers for those that request them and feel for those with troubles. I would like to know what you think about my latest dilemma. I came home from town today to find a phone call from my step-daughter, age 43. She has my cell phone number but for some reason she wonno this time and now I feel terrible. She started out by saying she had a medical bill to pay and then turned it around to a DUI fine that has to be paid by Jan. 1. She got picked up in August for a tail light out and had been drinking with co-workers. Her story. I was advised by the court not to help her so that was part of the reason I said no. She works two part-time waitressing jobs. She's divorced and no kids. She said she would pay me back $100 a month. If that is true why couldn't she have saved $100 a month and had the money to pay the fine? She called me a few weeks ago and I know she wanted money then but she didn't come right out and ask until today. Thanks for listening, I appreciate it.

My mother and her sisters all had copies [2008-12-02]
of my grandparent's along with the doctor's office and there was a copy in their hospital charts.

When I was a teenager my mother had mono [2008-12-01]
My dad and the doctor (IMO) ingored the problem until she had such a high fever that she was halucinating. At that point I informed my dad that he had two choices, take her to the hospital or call 911. He took her in and they were all amazed at how bad she was. I know they gave her some kind of antibiotic. I could have shot my dad. He is a total hypochondriac and yet he would let her go that far.

No where either. My mother didn't raise any foolish kids. LOL nm [2008-11-28]
nm

I'm with the other mother... [2008-11-25]
If you don't like your grandkids, don't baby sit. I have a child, whom I think is wonderful. I resent anyone telling me that I am not parenting the way they would. You raised your kids and it is time to let your daughter do the same. I am sure that she is not trying to ruin her children. How would you have felt if this criticism were coming to you instead of from you?

mother-in-law/sister-in-law [2008-11-25]
I am not my mother-in-law She is mellowing a little bit with age, but she and her daughter used to be reallymean to me. The more frail they get, the harder to forgive and forget. Keep my mouth shut and smile is about an A+ for me.It is hard to believe how mean these two women were to me, and how they have really lost their power with age.

My mother's "tropical salad" [2008-11-24]
I still love this. 1 can pineapple chunks -reserve juice. 1 can mandarin oranges - reserve juice. 16 oz sour cream (now I use nonfat) 1 cup shredded coconut (the kind in a bag). 1/2 bag of miniature marshmallows. Mix everything & refrigerate it overnight. If it has gotten dry (the marshmallows absorb moisture) add some of the reserved juice. Before serving add 1 or 2 sliced bananas. My sisters & I used to fight over this.

what my mother always did sm [2008-11-04]
she sent us outside with disposable tshirts, to suck the goodies out of the pomegranetes. very staining and nasty for kids clothing, but delicious. it was a ritual.

A mother's dream! My children are young so (sm) [2008-10-29]
right now they say sweet things, well at least my 8 year old does...lol. I only dream that when they are your daughter's age they will think that highly of me :-) Congratulations!

But these are kids; they shouldn't have to fight at a young age nm [2008-10-15]
:)

If her mother was like this...sm [2008-10-06]
Then I guess she just inherited this disposition unfortunately. God knows why they bred this dog if it was this bad that they had to put it down 6 months after having pups. I hate you had that experience. I wish you could have had a good experience with your pit. But I understand.

my mother-in-law and I SM [2008-10-02]
we actually do look alot alike, and people often assume I am her daughter. On the other hand, we are total opposites in personality.

I am some years your senior, but still young looking and seem to SM [2008-09-26]
be attractive to men. However, I found that men felt they had been there, done that. . . and the only thing they were missing was what you pointed out. I literally met a man who was married and divorced five times. Thanks, but no thanks. For me he HAS to be a nonsmoker, very occasional drinker, etc. My sister and I agree that after we were with a man a time or two it already became quite evident why he is divorced. I know this is not always the case, but very often it is. I met a man one time, and I must respect this, who told me sadly that he had the most wonderful woman in the world and he cheated on her and lost her. He said he takes 100% responsibility for the breakup. He said it was the worst mistake he ever made in his life. There are exceptions to every rule, but more often than not I found the ones who were looking for one thing and had no desire to begin again and have a future with someone.

Didn't your mother ever tell you.... [2008-09-24]
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. People come here for ideas, suggestions, and support - not negativity. Maybe you shouldn't read this board if you don't like the topics.

My mother tried them and said they didn't [2008-09-24]
xx

Mother's Milk in Food [2008-09-19]
What nutritional value does this serve for an adult? I don't think he is going to ramp up his business by publicly announcing that he is putting breast milk in his food. Most would probably find that rather weird not to mention gross. What women would allow this man to use their breast milk for such a purpose? Breastfeeding is supposed to be not only a nutritional gain for a child but a bonding experience for mother and child. I don't see many women going for this either.

is 27 young enough? [2008-08-29]
Thank you SOOOO Much for your answer, ive been obsessive compulsively checking hoping someone would give me something! I have no husband, no kids, but two dogs... the farthest i've moved was six hours from my home town and I love where I live now, been here three years but it is time for a change. I'm curious, where have you settled? San Diego is nice... but I feel at this time in my life, like there is nothing like the warm Atlantic Ocean... I also might be having a mid-life mid-life crisis of sorts! LOL. Thanks again i appreciate your input more than you know!!!

P.S. Before anyone calls me a bad mother or blames me for any of his issues, my other two children [2008-08-26]
xx

mother started with a story from her [2008-08-24]
grandfather about his mother having a picture over her bed of general bragg, her father. this started about 1959 or so. I knew all my grandparents (one grandmother died in 2000 at 90)and I also knew three of my great-grandparents. By the time Mother got through, we were all in the UDC and qualified for colonial dames and DAR (I guess yankees got all our money and we haven't had any since!). My gm's family was part of the stephen f austin old 300 who settled Texas. My gm was a past President of the Texas Division of the UDC, just because of a story grandpa bob told one Thanksgiving. I think Mother said start with family bibles and death certificates. This will take untold amounts of time and effort. Our vacation memories from 1959 on are mostly of tombstones in Texas, Louisiana, North Carolina and Mobile, Alabama. And, of course, like most of us, I just have to say I am an American because by now there are just too many hyphens to think about! We did not even get to my gf, who was the first one born here in 1904 from swedish immigrants. I was the one who accidentally found a bjorkland on the ships roster of the titanic. Even the relatives in sweden did not know about him. Poor young man may have been coming here to meet with my great-gp's for all we know. When I think how interesting history could have been in school! I was so bored and in fact, it is fascinating, especially if you find any tidbit details about the actual people and what their lives were like. They were so constricted by peers and the times; just think, that old aunt everybody bragged on her cooking could today be a world renown chef. There was a PBS story about some black women in the south known for their quilting skills and the patterns they made up. Who knows how many today could have been famous artists? I see a lot of talent going to waste on walls of graffiti and overpasses. Some of these kids are remarkable, or could be. good luck with your tree chasing.

nah, just young the first two times. nm [2008-08-21]

Your Roommate is not your Mother. [2008-08-20]
Just an FYI. You probably know if you drink too much. I don't drink, but I did years ago. I just never liked the taste. You get judged enough here, so why continue the abuse when you get off the clock! Drink one for me later!

It was the father-in-law and mother-in-law.. [2008-08-09]
of the men's volleyball coach and the father-in-law died...

Excuse me? The original post said absolutely nothing about her mother being SM [2008-08-01]
ill. I knew nothing about anyone Dogs and pets need to be owned by responsible people and there would be no such problem in any event.

Amen! My daughters and I do laugh [2008-07-29]
about this now. I went through this twice. The first daughter was not as bad as the second daughter. They were six years apart so I did get kind of a break. Believe, me this phase does pass.

Cure for In-Law Problems [2008-12-04]
Marry a man with dead parents! His father died years before we met and his mother died right after we started dating. Poof! Problem taken care of. Now before you all start flaming me, I am just kidding. But I do realize how lucky I am to not have to deal with a MIL. He has brothers who have children and grandchildren, so they spend Christmas Day with their families. We all get together on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day we go to my familyOne of my sisters has theMIL from He$$ and boy doesshe wish she was in my place!

Cure for In-Law Problems [2008-12-04]
Marry a man with dead parents! His father died years before we met and his mother died right after we started dating. Poof! Problem taken care of. Now before you all start flaming me, I am just kidding. But I do realize how lucky I am to not have to deal with a MIL. He has brothers who have children and grandchildren, so they spend Christmas Day with their families. We all get together on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day we go to my familyOne of my sisters has theMIL from He$$ and boy doesshe wish she was in my place!

You'll wake up one morning.... [2008-12-04]
skinny, wrinkled and old and think where did the time go? I thought the same when I was young and here I am! LOL

DH and I are w/my family for lunch [2008-12-04]
and his for dinner. I have ex-aunt that still gets invited to holiday get togethers since she was married to my uncle for so long and her kids and now a grandaughter will be with us. She and a real pain in the but. Even when it is not her house she tries to dominate everything. Where everyone should sit, when we should eat, the conversation somehow always revolves around her. She will ask you a question and even before you finsih answering she is off talking about something else. We basically just roll our eyes and try to avoid her. This year she wrote a letter to my mom asking her to move her Christmas Eve plans to a different time (have been doing the same thing for years) to make it easier on her. Not going to happen. At DH I like her most of the time, but lately I have found that I just tend to tolerate her. She and I have never had any problems but I think her getting older is starting to take its toll. She and I differ anyway. Every Thanksgiving it is the same, everyone that comes brings a couple of dishes but she also does some of the cooking. She doesn This year as soon as we got there she took a hot pot off the stove and put the food into a serving dish. I decided to go ahead and wash it. The pot was extremely hot so I turned on the cold water to cool it off just a bit before I washed it. She came to the sink and turned the hot water on. I politely said I was just trying to cool if off a bit before I stuck my hands in it. No, that is not the way I do it. I was stunned. I have been married to her son for over 20 years and I always wash the dishes. I don But this year I said, well if you want me to leave these for you to do, fine. I did help clean up after dinner but I did not put my hands in any dishwater. Besides they were still a bit pruned fromcleaning upafter lunch. LOL! Btw, this is thesame woman who gives me something that she collects every year for Christmas even though I andher daughter have very politelylet herknow this is not something I want.

No fights but [2008-12-04]
my husband's family (mainly MIL) sure does know how to strike a nerve and I can see how one could easily break out. More or less everyone makes an effort to keep their distance from her. Dinner is one thing, spending the entire weekend together is another. The kids split off to visit each other at their own homes with their kids and leave the parent's out. My family is all about family over the holidays so no fights. I think it's understood by everyone that if you don't like it, you don't have to participate but it's one of the few times a year that everyone can get together and put their past feelings aside and get along. We were taught that from a young age.

I'm emailing you...........sm [2008-12-04]
I think January is a great time to stop, although I do have to wonder if smoking will become vogue again since we have a president who smokes. I had a friend whose mother died of lung cancer with mets to the brain and she never smoked a day in her life either.

My mom smoked for 63 years. She [2008-12-03]
always had healthy lungs. After she broke her hip the first time, the doctors kept telling me to get her off the cigarettes. She would not quit, but I finally got her to quit 2 years later by telling herI quit, because she also started falling asleep with lit ciggies and burning things. Three months later, she was in for another broken hip. After the films came back from her chest x-ray, the ER physician pointed out a nodule in her lung...not sure if it was the start of lung cancer and wanted to keep close watch. I hate to say this, but thank heavens she never came home. I would have felt very guilty for making her stop and she might have gotten lung cancer through not smoking. My husband's mother died from lung and back cancer. She had smoked all her life and quit. A year later, she was gone. Makes you think and wonder about it.

Okay...... [2008-12-02]
My mother has passed away, so you must be my MIL invading this page. LOL!

christmas gift exchange again sm [2008-12-02]
Our family has always picked names for Christmas and bought only for that person. The limit is supposed to be $25. You know how hard it is to just spend $25 especially on someone that basically has everything. In the past this had just included the adults in their 40s and 50s. Of course one felt obligated to buy the teenagers and younger children something. I Last year I spent close to $200 on Christmas. I really couldn This year my SIL presented the idea of a low cost gift or gift card (my mother hates gift cards) and playing the game of picking a number, then picking a gift, etc. Well my otherbrother and his wife, who are well off, and my mother decided they didn I told my mom I don I can Its only $25 they say. Arenmoney?Well its never just $25 and what can I buy a teenager that has everything for $25? They turned up their noses on the small gifts I gave them in the past.I also donspend more than $25 on me when I could only afford $25. I already feel inferior about my financial status in comparison to my siblings and I feel the best thing for me is to not participate. What I really loathe Christmas anymore. No one really appreciates any gifts they are given and I donI guess IWhy can Thanks for letting me vent.

family origins [2008-12-02]
Mother's side English and German, although rumored Irish. Father's side completely German, PA Dutch language, if you will. Can't speak it though because he and his brother used to tell dirty jokes in PA Dutch when I was small and they didn't want me to know what they were saying, so I was never taught the language. My ex's family was Ukranian and Irish/Cherokee tribe. Now there's a mix. LOL

These 10 things definitely ain't right: [2008-12-01]
1) MTSOs who want people with top-notch skills and experience, but don't want to pay them what that skill is worth. 2) HMO's: So-called *health-maintenance-organizations* --yet they spend every minute and every dime of their far-too-large profits on denying healthcare, meds and procedures to their patients. These organizations have ruined American healthcare, and many American lives. HMO's have been a con-game since their inception. 3) The Bailouts: Giving money to companies who can too bad for the rest of you.* Then the Big Three show up in DC to beg for a handout, and fly there in private Lear jets. My answer to them would be, *I too bad for the rest of you.* 4) Apartment managers that won't allow even a single quiet, well-behaved pet, but will rent to people with continually screaming small children, and out-of-control older children and teens. Give me the pets for neighbors, ANY day. 5) Businesses that give an age-discount to absolutely everything that walks, runs or flies, but not to the middle-aged middle-class, who need it the most. Take the ski-industry: Young children ski for next-to-nothing, and sometimes nothing. There is a Teen Discount. There is a Student Discount for college kids. There I'll probably never be old enough - it's a carrot-on-a-stick, always just out of reach.) There are even corporate (UGH) discounts. But for those in my age group, who barely make ends meet but like to go up once a year for a couple days of bliss, there is NOTHING. 6) Travel-lodging deals that are always based on double or quadruple occupancy. What about singles? NOTHING. 7) TV commercials that are about a million decibels louder than the regular shows. Why can't it all be the same volume? Same with online newscasts. THEIR commercials will blow your eardrums out if you aren't quick enough turning down the volume before they start. 8) Surround-sound: Everything is too loud, already! Why do we need it coming at us from 4 directions? Why do people living in tiny apartments feel they need it? I've lost count of how many fights I've had with neighbors over this issue. Same with movies and music concerts. Why do they feel we need to feel the music in our SPLEENS? I went to Universal Amphitheater last week. (Now named something else). There is actually a sign outside warning that the decibel level inside might damage your hearing! (?!?!?!) Why do they need this? (To avoid lawsuits, obviously). If it's so loud you have to post a warning sign outside the entrance, then DUH.... it's TOO LOUD! 9) Banks that charge you a fee to use their ATM. They (I haven't actually been INSIDE a bank in YEARS).... and they want to charge US for using the machines instead of the tellers? Forget it. I won't give those banks my business. 10) The Post Office: Talk about rewarding slow, inept performance! The worse their employees are, the longer they seem to stay there. I'd rather have a root canal than go to a P.O. during the holiday season.

Do you have a store that sells the little [2008-12-01]
discs of chocolate to melt that are more for candymaking? These work the best as the parafin is already in the candy, so they set better. You could try also anywhere that sells supplies for baking cakes to see if they have the candy-making chocolate discs. Also, you may want to let the peanut butter balls sit before coating, as I think it has something to do with the oil in the peanut butter. Let them sit to dry before coating with any type of chocolate. Candies that are homemade should be stored in tins with wax paper in a cool dry place and not necessarily in the refrigerator. If you do store in the refrigerator make sure the container is air tight as the chocolate will pick up the flavors of other things in your refrigerator, i.e., onions... My mother made homemade candies; all types! RIP: Mom; we

Silly Girl shouldn't have to treat her [2008-11-30]
husband like a dog or a child. After all, she is his wife, not his mother. If she wants a pet, she can go to the animal shelter and get a dog. She married a man and he needs to act like one. It sounds like she gives and gives, and he takes. I think Silly Girl should start taking care of herself for a change.

Raising.......... sm [2008-11-30]
We had raising in those days. I think that is something that seems to be disappearing from society today at an alarming rate. I can remember my mother giving me the big hairy eye if she even thought it looked like I was hinting for something. Kids today just come right out and ask for what the want....or demand it.

family secrets [2008-11-30]
My mother blackmails my sister that she will tell her secrets to her new husband. If you love your husband, let it go and if you refuse to let it go, make sure you consider the source as more trustworthy than your husband before you bring it up.

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

Black Friday.... [2008-11-29]
I donshopon line), buy it and if it if not, oh well, makes no difference to me. My last Black Friday purchases were Cabbage Patch dolls (the FIRST incarnation of them many years ago) for my daughters. That was enough for me.

Wow! [2008-11-28]
I was in a WalMart and some lady not paying attention rammed her cart right into the back of my elderly mother. Of course Mom didn What a jerk that lady was, and she didn

6 pumpkin pies, 2 vinegar pies and a chocolate chiffon pie sm [2008-11-27]
So now that I have caught your attention...just what is a vinegar pie, you ask. In the south, they are referred to as transparent pie. You will sometimes hear it called sweet and sour pie. It is good real cider vinegar, the kind with the mother at the bottom, brown sugar, white sugar, butter and eggs, a bit of flour. It is like water when you put in the shell. You bake it for an hour and it comes out about like the goo in a pecan pie with no nuts. It is not sour a bit, nor is it sickly sweet. It is sweet with a bit of an apple bite. The kids love it and when younger son is home for the holidays, he will devour one of them at a sitting. He literally comes in and sees the vinegar pie, takes one and says: So...what is everyone else having? The other son won't eat pumpkin or vinegar, so he has the chocolate chiffon. The rest of us are pumpkin eaters.

deviled egg question [2008-11-27]
Why do some hard boiled eggs peel so easily and others turn into a total sticky nightmare? Is there a trick to getting the shells off easily from hard boiled eggs. My mother was not a cook in the least so I have no clue about such things!

Guess you never had a bad experience [2008-11-26]
My ex likes to lend things. They get returned...sometimes. When they do get returned, they And usually whoever had them is irritated thatthey had to be naggedto return it, and the friendship suffers. Some friends of his borrowed and destroyed an expensive carpet cleaner last year, he They are no longer friends. I lent my car to a friend once after she wore me down with her whining. I begged her to treat it gently, it was an old car and I knew she was a rowdy driver. She supposedly needed it to take her poor hurting, mother to the chiropractor. She destroyed my transmission, then refused to pay a cent to help me fix it, because my family had more money than her family. These were people we thought we knew pretty well beforehand. Rough way to find out what people are really like.

Hanging out at your house is a good thing [2008-11-26]
as long as you are there. My house became the hang out house, and it was hard, especially when I was trying to get my work done. But I knew where they were and could step in and keep things under control when necessary. I donrule of 16 which meant my sons could not date until they were 16 years old. Boys don't really seem to fight this so much. My oldest didn't have a steady girlfriend until he was 18. My youngest was 17 when he first started dating. I also had problems with some of their friends being just plain rude. They'd swear, never say please or thank you, and just generally act like snotty brats at times. That wasn't a problem for me. I corrected them and taught them manners. I used humor, which again boys seem to respond to. Usually, when we had girls over who acted that way, the boys were quick to correct them, and I didn't have to step in myself. As far as going out, my boys did go out to hang at the local pizza parlor in mixed groups when they were 13. I never had a problem, but they were held to time limits. I think itYou know, I Good luck!

what about the transportation issues [2008-11-26]
I agree, it is so much easier on the days that the kids are busy with afterschool activities and sports. But my question is: How do you sign kids up for activities when you work all day? How do they get there? And how do they get home? She is too old for daycare and too young to hang out with kids who drive. LOL. She is in the middle, and as you know it is a difficult age! So what can kids do at 13 when school is closed and no one is available to drive but still stay out of trouble? It's nice when they hang out here but then I get no work done and end up pulling all my hair out.

Oh YES they are all like that LOL [2008-11-26]
Or at least I am sure the majority are. I have less of a bad time with my 13-year-old than I did my 18-year-old when she was that age, but we still butt heads at times. I have been honest with her that I do not trust her friends, but we agreed until SHE gives me a reason not to trust HER, then I will back off a little. She likes the older boys (like her mother did) and that worries me, but she has a good head on her shoulders and most times understands the limitations I give her. Thankfully most of her friends started doing stupid stuff long ago and she watched and learned from them (not to mention her older sister :)! Its a tough road, feel free to email me privately if you ever need an ear to bend.

Pumpkin and apple pie [2008-11-26]
And my mother-in-law makes a cherry cream and chocolate cream pie to die for. We go to my parents every year and my mother does all of the baking.