Aww, poor thing. Glad you found it in time...sm

Um, YES and YES?! Haha. Also some of those meds have been found sm [2008-12-04]
to cause prostate enlargement and I believe prostate cancer.

Those "enhancement" things are on ALL THE TIME. Can men be [2008-12-04]
xx

be thankful to have him around at Christmas time... [2008-12-03]
and try to overlook some of these things that bother you. My husband is in Iraq and I would give just about anything to have all of his annoying habits around for Christmas. Just a different perspective, but sometimes these things aren't as bad as we think. It is a little endearing that he is so excited at Christmas. Like a kid almost. :)

You absolutely did the right thing! [2008-12-02]
I have a nephew who is turning 21 soon. This reminds me so much of him. His grandmother bails him out of trouble time and time again - but does he learn anything from his mistakes? Nope. Not one thing. It is a cycle that has to be broken. I only hope that it will be broken before he is also in his 40s like your stepdaughter. I am also a stepmom so I can understand your dilema there and the hurtful things that might be said, etc. But step or bio, everyone in my family knows my philosophy: I understand that everyone makes mistakes and slips up but when it comes to being in jail, hurting another family member, or taking advantage of someone - I won't participate in the least. Just know in your heart that you did the right thing for her in the long run. She can be mad, upset, maybe even make hurtful comments but if that's the case she can just as easily ask one of her bioparents as she can ask you.

prep time [2008-12-02]
Not that I am saying men are simple, but I would get a little Victoria Secret going on first, then mention the plans to him afterwards.

how about daylight savings time? [2008-12-01]
finding every clock you have night.

agreed except for one thing [2008-11-30]
I hope the guilty are sitting at home realizing they should take responsibility for their actions and not worry about the video and I also hope that they have enough conscience to actually feel guillty and to realize just how immoral their actions are. unfortunately, it appears people just do not have a heart anymore.

I've read the same thing about bathing dogs. sm [2008-11-30]
I have a Sheltie, and the Sheltie book recommends bathing when s/he gets very dirty or before a show. They don't need routine bathing. They need frequent brushing which removes dirt. Some dog breeds don't have oily coats, so don't smell. Sheltie is one of them, a collie is probably the same. I recommend taking Maggie to the groomer for a good brushing every other week or so. It would be good for Maggie's coat and skin. The groomer can advise you when she needs a bath.

Time for a divorce. Make him pay for it. nm [2008-11-30]
xx

And sad to say, a lot of people this time of year are mean and cranky... [2008-11-29]
I am basically done with my Christmas shopping as well...I have found in the past that if I had something in mind and waiting until after Thanksgiving, it would be out of stock and I would have to pay more for it in the long run...

Hanging out at your house is a good thing [2008-11-26]
as long as you are there. My house became the hang out house, and it was hard, especially when I was trying to get my work done. But I knew where they were and could step in and keep things under control when necessary. I donrule of 16 which meant my sons could not date until they were 16 years old. Boys don't really seem to fight this so much. My oldest didn't have a steady girlfriend until he was 18. My youngest was 17 when he first started dating. I also had problems with some of their friends being just plain rude. They'd swear, never say please or thank you, and just generally act like snotty brats at times. That wasn't a problem for me. I corrected them and taught them manners. I used humor, which again boys seem to respond to. Usually, when we had girls over who acted that way, the boys were quick to correct them, and I didn't have to step in myself. As far as going out, my boys did go out to hang at the local pizza parlor in mixed groups when they were 13. I never had a problem, but they were held to time limits. I think itYou know, I Good luck!

Found my Scrabble game sm [2008-11-26]
Went online to Walmart at 4:30 AM, they had thenew jubilee edition for $10 less than Hasbro direct, ithas a carrying case, curved letter holders, lazy Susan turning board. The only thing I didn I donseedy and I would not enjoy going there in the dark AM, so I did well. I have gotten my two grandsons interested in Scrabble as this is the only part of my brain that works well and itBeat Grammie - better than being glued to the Wii. LL Bean has a great wooden set but it's $99 and would be hard for them to carry around.

I think most everyone does from time to time.......sm [2008-11-25]
Check your bedtime routine....are you keeping irregular bedtime hours? Are you drinking caffiene late in the evening? Are you eating a late night snack? Is there something in life that is bothering you like family or financial stressors? All these things can cause problems falling asleep and staying asleep. If you correct any of these problems you might be having and still have problems sleeping, try a warm glass of milk about 30 minutes before bedtime. It will help! If that doesn't work, see your doctor for help with sleep.

I think you are doing the best thing for your kids [2008-11-25]
My youngest is now 21, but I was much the same kind of mother you are. I hated video games from the first time they came out and my boys NEVER had any of them. We played lots of board games, they had a few little computer games, but none of the Nintendos or any of that stuff. They built stuff with Legos, played with each other, played outside in the yard and probably their favorite things were large cardboard boxes and their imaginations. My kids have grown up to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted, much more so than their couch-potato, gamer peers. So hang in there!

I go through this same thing every holiday - [2008-11-25]
I have to spend the holiday with my family by myself and miss my husband or else I have to insist that he go and then we are both miserable all day and it turns out bad anyway. I never know what to do... I want to spend holidays with him, but at the same time I do not want to make him go somewhere he obviously does not want to be. I'm sorry that I cannot give you answers, but just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Your menu sounds yummy - what time do we eat? [2008-11-24]
:)

OMG! I did the same thing. I have a picture..sm [2008-11-21]
I My kids were younger so the dollar store was great! Seriously, my living room was full! It For little kids that was easy. But now they I miss those days of buying from the dollar store and filling the living room. Now, theyonly get 1 or 2 presents and I hate it. It makes me cry every year. I'll look for that picture on my break and try to upload it.

I would have divorced a long time ago....sm [2008-11-21]
when my husband had a drug problem. I didn't because my son told me he would not come with me but that he would choose to stay with his dad. He was around 7 years old at the time. I couldn't leave my son. So I didn't leave. He is so close to his daddy. He would pick his dad drugs and all over me any day of the week and that hurt me very bad because I have always been a good mom. So I stayed. I guess God helped me though because my husband quit using drugs miraculously later and we are doing pretty good now.

same here! thought at the time it was [2008-11-20]
gonna be kill or git killed!

I saw a demo of the software on TV long time ago. sm [2008-11-17]
there was a slate-like appendage that you could draw on with a pencil-like tool. and then the software did remarkable things, but this was some time ago. goodle it, research. you're bound to find a site with a demo.

God will deal with Kennedy about Kopechne. In the meantime, I'm glad [2008-11-17]
nm

I still get a couple loaf pans of it every year at butchering time [2008-11-15]
DH doesn't touch it but I love it. I grew up on it too. I also grew up on Spam. Mom had a stove that had a pull out griddle above the oven and she would put spam and egss on there for a Tuesday night supper. I have 2 cans of Spam in my pantry now. The ingredients state: Pork with ham, mechanically separated chicken, water , salt, modified potato starch, sugar, hickory smoke flavoring (I have the hickory smoke flavor), and sodiu nitrite. Opps. There's that bad word-sodium nitrite.

I'm glad he made you smile...sm [2008-11-14]
He makes me smile every time I look at him. Here's another pic just to make your day...lol

No, it was his first time at our house. [2008-11-13]
No, it was his first time at our house.

My Rottie did the same thing [2008-11-13]
He loves everybody. He will get up and see who is coming in, but if we tell him okay, he goes back and lays down. We had some repairs being done after a leaking roof. Painters and carpet installers in and out. Roofers on the house. All sorts of noise and men for a few days. The day after they finished the work, I was home by myself, andone of the carpet guys came back and knocked on the door. When I opened the doormy Rottie got between me and the screen door, growled a low serious growl, and his hair on his back came up. The guy wanted to come intocheck on the carpet job. I told himthe carpet was fine, I would call the store if there were any problems, and closed the door. A few weeks later the same guy raped a woman the day after he had been to her house installing carpet. Turns out he didn I trusted my dog Although I don't know what the guy was thinking that he could come in and hurt me without fighting off me and the dog, but you never know!

That's not true. I've tried to quit 6 times [2008-12-04]
in the past 5 years. I made it for 3 weeks by being cooped up in my house while everyone else was having fun in the garage. But DH had an important phone call he had to take, so I braved it and went up to tell him. Just the whiff of smoke did it for me. Back on them. I tried cold turkey, the patch, herbal supplements, and even hypnotism. Ichew gum. Itired of hearing from me. I don't have a PMD, so I can't get an Rx. My DH quit 16 years ago by throwing his pack out the car window as we were driving. He is so kind to me because I haven't been able to quit. He never harps on quitting. He understands. He's seen me go through withdrawal and it's not pretty. My son and his wife quit when she became pregnant. He used Chantix and also had the wildest dreams so went off them after 3 weeks, but he hasntouched up a cigarette since and being around people who smoke doesn't bother him. I guess I I whish the best for everyone who wants to quit and hope you all make it. I've stopped trying.

Please understand, being that you are younger than how long I have smoked, docs [2008-12-04]
used to ENCOURAGE it - I am sure others can remember. Doc sitting with a pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket and suggesting it for best stress reliever.DoI blame them? No, not at all. I truly feel that cancer is such a huge money machine that medicine would be hurting poorly if a cure was actually found (or disclosed). And, as you have not smoked before, you are entirely correct inthat you cannot understand.

my list [2008-12-04]
Viagara, Cialis, retirement villages, multi million sports figures stating they drive a Buick or a Ford. Insurance salesmen with one foot in the grave themselves, on-line schools with degrees in 18 months guaranteed, mattress ads, especially designed by designers, you sleep on them for ,,,,sake, you don free stuff where you just pay shipping. And that's only a partial list - no room for all of them and no room to make this perfect English or punctuation. There are on-line courses for this, just send them your credit card number and they will make you a college grad in no time!

My stepdaughters used to get gift cards... [2008-12-04]
they are now 21 and 24; since they never sent thank you notes or even bothered to send a Christmas card, they will no longer get the gift cards, just aChristmas cardthis year. They will probably feel slighted, but I don if you can't take the time to at least call your dad and wish him a Merry Christmas, you don't deserve anything!

I post this every holiday season and will try SM [2008-12-04]
posting again. Sigh. I have two stephchildren. One is 30 and one is 25. I actually love them like my own children. Problem is gift giving. Do you give gifts to adult stephchildren who do not give gifts to you? If they were small children or teens, of course I would buy them gifts, but they are ADULTS! Every year I post this same question and get same answers from people saying how much they LOVE buying hundreds of dollars worth of stuff for EVERYONE they know and that I shold get in the holiday spirit of buying. I don I have two grandchildren, 4 and 1-1/2, and have spent a combined $100 on their gifts. Ibuying my SIL a book. Last year, stepdaughter gave me a regifted gift card from Starbucks and stepson gave me small bag of candy (smushed carton). They don I find buying gifts for adults silly. And please, do not suggest handmade gifts. I made that mistake years ago, when I made stepdaughter handmade mosaic tile box, with velvet interior. She threw the thing out.Isthere some tactful way out?

My Opinion [2008-12-04]
I think there comes a time when exchanging gifts between adults is not necessary. I wouldjust buy for the little kids if I were you. That's what we do in our family.

You'll wake up one morning.... [2008-12-04]
skinny, wrinkled and old and think where did the time go? I thought the same when I was young and here I am! LOL

I come from one of those fighting families. [2008-12-04]
There have been many, but the defining event would have to be at my father's viewing when his own brother started a fight in front of the open casket. If it were a screenplay, it would have to be a comedy, because the reality of it was too painful to endure. Needless to say, I don't deal with my family unless I have to. I've had too many holidays ruined over the years, and when my children were small, I realized that their holidays would be ruined, as well, if I kept returning to these toxic family gatherings. Now we do things on our own, and life is much nicer. We don't have the Norman Rockwell gatherings of 20 or so people, but that's ok. Maybe some day when I'm a grandmother and great-grandmother, our healthy family will have grown to Norman Rockwell size, and then we'll have a family group that wants to spend time with each other. That is so much better than dreading family gatherings!

lol sounds like my MIL [2008-12-04]
My MIL was pissy this year too. Apparently because I got off of work (due to no jobs) and we arrived an hour early to spend extra time with them. She was mad at me. I thought it was a good thing!? We have always gotten along as well but I have come to realize I just tolerate her and move on. Itstuck in the kitchen and feels left out. Of course she says this to her children. I always offer and more than once but I have come to realize if I just step in and do it won't be right regardless. She doesn't talk to any of her own kids that way even though I know for a fact my husband does things very different from the way she does. Somehow she doesn't notice with him but alarms go off when it's me. She also hates to allow me to make anything to bring for dinner. I am martha-stewart-ish and she is the pull a pie out of the box type of person so I think it intimidates her or something. It's just the way I am and I enjoy doing things from scratch and old fashioned, plus I like to know what I am feeding my kids. I usually ask but just bring stuff along because I know it is the right thing to do and forget about the rest. She talks nice to the other DIL in her presence but the moment she turns her back she bad-mouths her. A few people recently have told me she does the same to me (Imom any more. I feel for her but dang, I will be glad to relinquish the dinner reins to my DIL or SIL so I can just sit around and play with grandkids some day!

I'm counting the days 'til Solstice, as well. [2008-12-04]
Great time of year, too. You can enjoy the holiday season at it's most phrenetic, without having to actually take part in the craziness. 'Ring out, Solstice bells!'

When I was in the third grade [2008-12-04]
I broke my wrist and after surgery, I woke up in a room with a roommate that smoked. I can't even believe now that there was a time when it was okay to smoke in a hospital!

DH and I are w/my family for lunch [2008-12-04]
and his for dinner. I have ex-aunt that still gets invited to holiday get togethers since she was married to my uncle for so long and her kids and now a grandaughter will be with us. She and a real pain in the but. Even when it is not her house she tries to dominate everything. Where everyone should sit, when we should eat, the conversation somehow always revolves around her. She will ask you a question and even before you finsih answering she is off talking about something else. We basically just roll our eyes and try to avoid her. This year she wrote a letter to my mom asking her to move her Christmas Eve plans to a different time (have been doing the same thing for years) to make it easier on her. Not going to happen. At DH I like her most of the time, but lately I have found that I just tend to tolerate her. She and I have never had any problems but I think her getting older is starting to take its toll. She and I differ anyway. Every Thanksgiving it is the same, everyone that comes brings a couple of dishes but she also does some of the cooking. She doesn This year as soon as we got there she took a hot pot off the stove and put the food into a serving dish. I decided to go ahead and wash it. The pot was extremely hot so I turned on the cold water to cool it off just a bit before I washed it. She came to the sink and turned the hot water on. I politely said I was just trying to cool if off a bit before I stuck my hands in it. No, that is not the way I do it. I was stunned. I have been married to her son for over 20 years and I always wash the dishes. I don But this year I said, well if you want me to leave these for you to do, fine. I did help clean up after dinner but I did not put my hands in any dishwater. Besides they were still a bit pruned fromcleaning upafter lunch. LOL! Btw, this is thesame woman who gives me something that she collects every year for Christmas even though I andher daughter have very politelylet herknow this is not something I want.

We just bought a new mattress - sm [2008-12-04]
It's a Sealy. Can't recall exactly which one but lower end on the price bracket. I think it was about 1000.00 for the mattress and box springs. We had one of those air beds for a long time and I will never ever recommend one of those. My husband also has back problems and needed a comfy mattress so he wanted that number bed thing. It was horrible. I would wake up with lower back pain that would stick with me half the day. His pain was worse too. Not to mention the fact that his side of the bed sprung a leak so after about the first year or so, there was no adjusting it to a comfort zone. Had to pump it all the way up and by morning, it was completely flat and he was laying in a hole inside the foam frame. It was cheaply made, uncomfortable, and a HUGE rip off. Go for a Sealy, it's worth it. I'm loving it.

No fights but [2008-12-04]
my husband's family (mainly MIL) sure does know how to strike a nerve and I can see how one could easily break out. More or less everyone makes an effort to keep their distance from her. Dinner is one thing, spending the entire weekend together is another. The kids split off to visit each other at their own homes with their kids and leave the parent's out. My family is all about family over the holidays so no fights. I think it's understood by everyone that if you don't like it, you don't have to participate but it's one of the few times a year that everyone can get together and put their past feelings aside and get along. We were taught that from a young age.

I'd say it depends how long you have smoked - sm [2008-12-04]
and how old you are. A friend of mine quit and went about 8 months or so, is now back to a 3-4 cigs a day due to stress, brother died (accidental drug/alcohol OD--plus he had diabetes and hepatitis), then mom got lung cancer (was still smoking at 78, 50+ years smoker, 2 heart attacks), I don't know if she quit but she had stage IV so they knew she did not have long (3 months or so). My friend is still doing the 3-4 cigs a day though she felt so much better NOT smoking. Yes she gained some weight, but she had a 3 floor walk-up apartment so that helped her some. I am hoping she will quit for good here soon. Her stress level has dropped as she moved back in with her dad (though he is not the easiest person to live with)...he wants her to have the house when he dies which is probably soon....he was terribly affected by his son and wife's deaths. Smoking sucks, plain and simple. I am a nonsmoker. I hate the smell, cannot understand how anyone can deal with stinking all the time, having a smelly home, smelly clothes, car, etc. We just stayed in a hotel last weekend, a nonsmoking room....I smelled the cig smoke the second I walked in the door, wanted another room but it was fully booked. It was not too bad but still annoyed me that I had a room, that had a balcony, where someone smoked where they were not supposed to. Sorry, ranting. ---Unless you are over 55 or so and have smoked for 30+ years I would not worry about lung cancer. My DH quit before I met him, had smoked for 12 or so years, pack a day. He is in great shape, lung cancer in his family too. He has been smoke-free for 20 years now. His lungs get sore when around lots of smoke though, and he did have pneumonia really bad right before I met him that I think did some damage (he was seriously ill for 3 weeks) to his lungs as they are very sensitive now as I said. But other than that he is healthy as a horse. Quit. Set aside the money you save and take a nice vacation next summer. You will lose your chronic cough, smell tons better, get your taste buds back, get rid of that stain on your teeth and fingers, and once all the nicotine is gone add a few years BACK onto your life. Good luck!

I'm emailing you...........sm [2008-12-04]
I think January is a great time to stop, although I do have to wonder if smoking will become vogue again since we have a president who smokes. I had a friend whose mother died of lung cancer with mets to the brain and she never smoked a day in her life either.

I guess I can't speak for everyone.. [2008-12-04]
but I did not have that difficult a time stopping. I had tried before, but I could always come up with excuses for myself to keep smoking. For you,it could be different. And, of course, I had the meds. I do hope you will quit, for your health's sake, and I wish you luck. I never meant to sound offensive.

I am too. I have tried moving to our [2008-12-04]
but the kids moved their computer by me. Seems whereever I go they follow. I had no big windows in there so I went back to the family room, which is now called the office. But it is more like the kids room with mommy trying to work and bothering them. They play classroom in here, webkinz, toontown, do homework, etc. I used to have it in the bedroom, for years, but got depressed because I literally never left the room except to take care of the kids and do chores. I got depressed and the doc said I had to take the computer out of my bedroom, because even when not working, in bed, I'd think about work or see it constantly. I once had an office with walls, but the kids took up camp in there too. They are all 11 and under so I can't wait until they want mommy less and are teenagers for example. Maybe then, they'd spend time by themselves and only come to me for money. LOL. I love them, but the noise and clutter that come withs them well just not exactly a good environment for a doc who speaks no English and eats chips at the same time.

BWT....I am planning on quitting......sm [2008-12-04]
in January and a couple of other posters and I are forming a support group. I promise we would never get tired of you! Won Maybe the 7th time is a charm!!!!

You're not a hopeless case! sm [2008-12-04]
Each day is a new beginning. Donvictor not you can get some help there. You are the victim. You are worth the effort. Some pills do cause nightmares, try Benadryl at night. I thus the need to relax, I understand, please don't give up. If you don't have a PCP, try a walk-in clinic or the pharmacist, you never know, they may have some good advice. Think of the $$$ you will save, use it to pamper yourself and your self-image will improve. You can do it, baby steps at a time. Remember, every day is a new start.

My first job was in an office where everyone [2008-12-03]
smoked except me! It was horrible! Grew up with a smoking parent, too - so had to breathe it in the car. It was on planes, busses, trains, and in restaurants. There was no such thing as non-smoking motel rooms or airports, and even in junior high and high school, where you weren't allowed to smoke, everyone still did it in the bathrooms. YUCKKKKKKK !!!

Funny, my HS had a smoking area too- sm [2008-12-03]
though they got rid of it when I was a senior, not that I cared, and only seniors were allowed to use it....one of the senior perks like driving and we also had a senior lounge. I don't remember calling the smokers anything except stupid for smoking, though one of my BFs smoked. There were the burnouts though....the ones who smoked pot, were stoned all the time, etc.

my microwave has a bar code scanner and it knows [2008-12-03]
way, way too cool. you just run this little wand of a scanner along the bar code and it knows exactly how many minutes and seconds that particular product needs to be cooked. it also has a function where you can program in unknown, store-brand products to cook for the precise amount of time. made by westinghouse. feels like i should be on a space station with this wonder....

They are probably diagnosed with [2008-12-03]
lung cancer because either they had it when they quit or because they are susceptible to it because of the smoking. My dad quit and died 2 years later. Either way something is going to get you. When it is your time, it is your time--that has always been my philosophy.

The Reason for the Season [2008-12-03]
T Holiday .Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and creditPushing folks down to the floor just to get it!CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-podSomething was changing, something quite odd!Retailers promoted Ramadan and KwanzaaIn hopes to sell books by Franken Fonda.As Targets were hanging their trees upside downAt Lowe it wonWinter Break under your Dream TreeSipping your Starbucks, listen to me.Choose your words carefully, choose what you sayShout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!