Bomb threat at son's high school....what would you dosm

school counseling [2008-06-19]
I know it's the summer, but when school starts back up you might want to look at having him talk to a school counselor. It's free for you and might help him work through some of his feelings, especially the scary ones.

Bomb threat at son's high school....what would you do?sm [2008-05-09]
Sorry this is going to be long. I tried to keep it short but....too many details. There was a bomb threat at my son My sonetc. I spoke to this boy and several of my son.....all n**gers should die.....I hope everyone else is okay but a bomb is going to go off at 12:30...... He said the note looked like itwas actually written to someone else and not left behind for the school to find.Like it might have just fell out of someones pocket or something.Beingthe overprotective mother thatI am, I think of everything bad. That being said,the note didnNow, Ison to school. Also, who knows what this kid is capable of? What if he brings a gun to school today? Or sets off a bomb today knowing the schoolnow thinks it was just ascare? We are a small town and don't have a lot of trouble so we don't have metal detectors and stuff in the school and we aren't really prepared for any type of situation of that magnitude. Now, to get to why the kids think they know who it is. There is a new kid in school who has been homeschooled all his life(not that it matters but I have to wonder if the reason is because his parents are also racist and didnn**gers. The boys also say this kid is a little weird and seems like he might have some mental problems. So, all that being said, I believe I have a moral responsibility to talk to the principal about my conversation with the boys. I hate to make accusations and insinuations (I really, really, really hate it when people insinuate things) but this is very serious. Back in my day in high school (the samehigh school as my son) we had a bomb threat via phone, we were evacuated for a short while,dogs were brought inand we went right back to class. But today, after Columbine and everywhere else, you just absolutely cannot be too careful. And since the boys thought this kidseems have some mental probs, it automatically brought to mind the guy who shot up Virginia Tech. After the fact, people said there were warning signs. I am however, a teeny, tiny bit hesitant because if this boy really did not write the note,(and the racial remarks justcoincidentlywere made at thesame time)I feel a little bit bad for what he will have to go through. But my love for my child and his friends is far greater than my feelings ofsorriness (couldnword)for that boy (especially since I have no love whatsoever for racists) so I definitely will be talking to the principal this morning. Besides, if this boy did end up doing something tragic in the future, I would not be able to live with myself knowing that I should have said something. Not to mention if my son were hurt or killed by him. I was just wondering whatothers would do in this situation and if anyone has had any similar experiences.

Guess what......it still goes on in high school too.....sm [2008-05-09]
I have a 16 year old in 10th grade, and some girls are just cruel....

Yay! Give him a high-5 or chest bump (whatever young people do these days) for me..nm [2008-05-05]

threat detected by AVG when I come to this site [2008-04-28]
it happened a few weeks back but stopped but now it is at it again. This happen to anybody else?

isn't the interest on that pretty high? [2008-04-28]
:(

why aren't your kids in school? [2008-04-23]

its school vacation in my town nm [2008-04-23]
nm

When my son was 3 he once said to his nursery school teacher . . . [2008-04-23]
Do you have nipples. Came out of the blue. Just ran up to her one morning and blurted that one out. I'm sure it was related to the fact that his little brother was an infant and nursing. It had us all laughing, but I was still embarrassed. No lead-up to that one at all! I was glad he only went two mornings a week. At least I didn't have to face her EVERY morning! :)

New high school cell phone policy [2008-04-22]
Friends of our work at a local high school. That school has become fed up with cell phone usage in their school, so they have become rather devious.If a cell phone is caught ringing, the teacher takes it and sends it to the office. The only way the student can get their phone back is if the parent come to pick it up. Even if the student is 18.But the nifty thing? The V.P. scrolls through the address book and tries to identify some of the other students. Then she goes to their classroom, stands outside the door and calls their phone from the confiscated phone. If she catches the student answering the phone - automatic Saturday school.Sounds almost like entrapment.

Meridian, MS ---today low 3.41 ----high 3.49 [2008-04-22]
xx

Our high schools here all have a no cell [2008-04-22]
phone policy. First time, the parent comes to pick it up. After that the school keeps it until the end of the year. No reason for them to have cell phones turned on during classes is the way I see it. Before and after school is fine, but not during. My daughter's middle school also has no cell phone policy. Even if they are in their lockers and ring, they are taken away. One school in a neighboring county was confiscating them and giving them away. The parents there filed a law suit and they now keep them, but the student loses it until the end of the year.

I graduated the bottom of my high school class (#136 out of 137), but [2008-04-22]
I have an IQ of 160.

sorry. forgot to mention Linda Chavez is in refernce to threads about high food prices. [2008-04-19]
nm

The reason is high gas prices. [2008-04-18]
All that stuff is transported by truck... they run on gas... Did you check out the profits the oil companies made last quarter?

Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm [2008-04-10]
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!

Question about son, school, teacher, and boyfriend [2008-04-10]
Okay, please tell me I am wrong - Today I went to my son My boyfriend went on Monday to pick up his report card, as my son, daughter, and I were out of state at a funeral. My son did not do well at all this marking period and it is basically due to his laziness. Well, evidently, on Monday the teacher and the boyfriend had a lengthy discussion and came up with the punishment and the plan for the next 9 weeks of school. I was informed of his report card via phone call Monday night and told we needed to be there for a conference on Thursday - nope, no conference requested until now, so I mistakenly assumed he was okay in school. Okay, go to the conference with boyfriend and from the start I can tell I am really not part of the plan by the seating arrangements. My son is at the front, they AR on each side of him and I am somewhere towards the back. Boyfriend takes control and the teacher pretty much turns all conversation to him and son. I try to intervene on several occasions and sort of get lost by THEIR dialogue. THEY decide that whenever there is a problem she will call boyfriend and let him know and then refers to both of us as parental units and I sort of start seething now. I try over and over to be heard and ask questions, all the time pretty mmuch brushed to the back burner. Fast forward a bit - the teacher walk out of the room and I follow her and tell her that I am NOT a parental unit but his mother and that all and any conversations about my son She looked at me like she was baffled I know that I gave the boyfriend too much rope there (we do all live together) in the first place, but all I expected him to do was pick up the report card, not decide his life and the teacher never called me previously to tell me there was a problem in the first place, so why would I think any different Please advise me on this because I feel like dirt right now. TIA!!!

You are a bit high with the "hundreds of thousands." [2008-04-09]
x

I was a grocery checker several years ago while going to school... [2008-04-08]
and he was my Sunday guy. I used to see him every other Sunday and he would always come through my line. If I was on break or lunch and would see him come in I would open my line up just for him. I could tell that he was single by what he was buying, plus he wore no ring. We talked all the time. He came in on a weekday and asked me if I got his message; he had called the store and left his name and number for me with the bookkeepers because he wanted to ask me out. We went out to lunch and I found out he only came in every other Sunday because he lived rurally and only shopped every 2 weeks after church. Nine years later and couldn't be happier.

High school - sm [2008-04-08]
We were both in JROTC and I ended up being his information officer one year. That was in 1979. Been together ever since!

Would you wear high heels even if they made your feet hurt? [2008-04-07]
A survey conducted by the American Podiatric Medical Association showed some 42 percent of women admitted they 73 percent admitted already having a shoe-related foot issue.http://www.oprah.com/beauty/webmd/200802/beauty_highheels_b1.jhtml?promocode=CNNheelsDL?cnn =yesYou can read tips on how to avoid hurting feet at that link.

High heels....love em! Handbags too... [2008-04-07]
I have about 12 right now, but there is a Cole Haan I have my eye on that is going to become number 13 in the next few weeks!

will high gas prices affect your spring/summer travel [2008-03-31]
j/c. I wanted to go to the beach this year but I don't think we will now.

Slow. Laid back or high maintenance? [2008-03-26]
x

Vanilla high heels or flats [2008-03-26]
!

There is something called the MDR1 gene...sm [2008-07-03]
MDR1 (multi-drug resistance gene). Itfound in herding breeds likecollies, aussies, etc., and somel other breeds as well. It The only way to know is to test the dog to see if has the gene or is a carrier. (I think that just involves a cheek swab.) Were these dogs related to each other? I wonder if that gene was the cause, or if the vet was negligent, or if it was just terrible luck. It Beforesurgery,Italk to the vet and make sureI understandwhat kind of drugs and anesthetic they use, and how the dog is monitored during anesthesia and while recovering. Just like with people, there is always a risk. Some vets have all the fancy, high tech equipment for monitoring, but others relymore onan assistantto do it manually. I prefer There are not nearly as many vet anesthesiologists in the vet world as there are in human medicine. II I just read about this gene when I was helping a friend research the breed. Her first aussie died at a ripe old age of about 14 yrs old, I think, andshe has one thatyear old and has had no health problems that I know of. Isorry for your friend. To have a dog die after a flea dip of all things... and then another after routine teeth cleaning. There is always a risk with anesthesia, but we get so used to thinking it She took her current Aussie to the vet for neutering. When he came home he was lethargic. They took him back and the doctor put him on an IV to flush his system of any anesthesia? This s/l either the dog had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, or the vet went overboard and gave too much...

Paying down debt [2008-07-02]
It is getting harderto make ends meet because of all the straws in ourbank account. I have 17k in CC dept alone. It iswith4 different CC companies. OneCC has $200, #2 has about 4K,#3 has about2K, #4 has 10k. The 10K one has a 15 % APR, the others I believe range from 24% to 29% APR. My biggest monthly payment is my house and I owe only $4700 on it and it has 6.3% APR. I sold some things and am getting $5K and that will be enough to pay offmy house. I would love to finally, officialy own this house and get rid of that$350 monthly pmt, but I wonder if I should not pay down on the CC because of the high interest rates. Any opinions. TIA.

have you ever thought about sm [2008-07-02]
have you ever thought about transferring some balances from the cc to a 0% interest credit card?? you can find those 0% for 12 months up to a year and a half and if you pay the balance off before that time is up, then there is no interest charged to your balance (hope that makes sense). that transferred some of my high percentage rate cc to a zero interest and that really helps me. i would cut up the cc that have the high interest. my only cc that has interest on it is only 6.9%. i have a bigger balance on it than i would like ($6800), but that is the only cc i have with an interest rate on it. my other ones (three of them) are no interest. i don congrats on your house!!! i, too, would also take that 5 grand and put it on a cc, not the house. good luck!!!

former teenage alcohol user [2008-07-01]
I donharsh for your daughter, but have you thought about showing her the results of drinking and/or driving?I drank A LOT in high school, starting around 15 when my mom got sick and continueddaily drinking through graduation and then some. Did my fair shareofdrinking and driving or riding in cars with drivers who drank, thinking that nothing would ever happen. My sister who was 5 years older than me died from drinking and driving when I was 18, and to show me and my teenage cousins the consequences, we went with my uncle to see her car thathad not been cleaned afterthe wreck(nasty, and I still see it to this day which is about 18 years later)...she was in a little 4-door car and fell asleep and drove underneath an 18-wheeler. That sight was burned into my brain and I never forgot what drinking and driving could do, that we weren I did hear of a school that was doing shock presentations to students, arranging to have 10 or so students missing from classes for the day, then the other students were told that they were killed in accidents from drinking. While that is a bit extreme, I really think that shock works best on teenagers as I always thought I knew best and that nothing would ever happen.

Several things [2008-07-01]
Ectopic pregnancies are possible in this situation--the babies can grow on an organ. However, this creates a very high-risk situation. Babies have been carried to term this way. In this case, though, if she has been 13 years without a period, I would wonder about a tumor, especially if she found out about her pregnancy with a home pregnancy test. HCG (what the home pregnancy test measures) can be produced by tumors, which also may correlate with a growing abdomen, giving one the false idea she is pregnant. How did she determine she was pregnant with twins?

Scary isn't it? [2008-06-30]
I don't have any advice for you, but I have an 11 year old son. Found out that lots of kids in his MIDDLE SCHOOL are having sex, drinking, smoking, and using drugs. This is in a 'supposedly good' school in a suburb of Atlanta. There is also some gang activity. I will be homeschooling him starting this fall. I am so sorry to hear of your problems with your daughter. I hope that someone here is able to offer you some sound advice. I know that it is not a good feeling to have someone living in your house whom you feel you cannot trust.

When my now 20 yo DD told me about her drugs and alcohol sm [2008-06-30]
I asked that she wait until she was out of high school to have sex, because it carries big consequences and she needed to be ready for that. For that she waited for that, but tried marijuana twice and got drunk a couple of times too. I was shocked by my good girl.

A lot depends on your daughter, not just you - sm [2008-06-30]
Is she sensible? There are not many 16-y/o that have not tried drinking or smoking, it is all part of trying new things,etc. and it will happen whether you like it or not. You have to learn to trust her to make smart decisions and to make her own mistakes but obviously to guide her and make sure she doesndate had MadDog, nasty stuff, and I got obliterated as I did not realize what that crud would do to me. Lucky for me my dad was out of the country at the time. My punishment was being forced to go to school with a horrible hangover (though I puked my guts out in my friendscares). I actually went and got on the pill while still a virgin so when it did happen I would be protected. --- is your daughter that sensible and with some common sense? I did a lot of stupid things along with the smart things I doing, just got lucky and came out of it okay. At 16 you want to experiment and have fun. All my friend and I were A/B students, 1 smoked and did all sorts of drugs. I would drink and smoke pot now and them (1 x a week or so), and again parents NEVER knew it. I remember one time my dad picked me up at school after play practice (was helping out with set design), I was stoned, had been slipped angel dust and had been hallucinating about an hour or two prior, was still pretty high. He wanted me to drive home for practice (I was 16), I turned him down because I was very tired.....he never knew, I crawled into bed the minute I got home. I was very, very good at hiding it from my parents, how they didn't smell it on me I never knew, unless they just ignored it. My best friend smoked and they new that so I guess that helped cover it up a bit. Despite all this I was very anti-drug (anything but pot) as I had seen too many people messed up on coke, crank, LSD, etc. I was furious with my BF's brother as he was the one who slipped me the angel dust, I got lucky as nothing bad happened to me. He is dead now, ended up addicted to coke, then alcohol, got hepatitis, car-jacked 3 cars for drug money, and ended up in prison with a 20 year sentence, got out after 8 years in 2006, then got addicted to painkillers, they found him dead in his apartment, killed by mixing alcohol and painkillers. This just happened about 8 months ago. He was only 42. Very sad as he was a smart guy but had many, many problems and never got his life together. Obviously this does not happen to everyone who does drugs, it all depends on the person and their upbringing. His sister (one of my BFs) is a successful therapist, drinks but quit smoking several years ago, never got into hard drugs like her brother. ---sorry for the rambling, but don't go overboard and lock her up, that will just make her go in the opposite direction. Obviously you need to set limits, etc, and try to know where she is and who she is with, and set punishments if you catch her doing it and let her know what those punishments will be, whether it is grounding for a month, or no cell phone, no TV, no driving, whatever, be firm and stick to it. I know that my brothers and I all did stuff, most of which we got away with, but it was shear luck and stupidity when I look back at it. Not all kids are so lucky. I hope you daughter is one of the lucky ones.

Thank you for the advice. sm [2008-06-30]
My daughter is an overall good kid, has always been an A/B student in honors and high honors. She has kept her grades up and is involved in environmental clubs, humanitarian clubs and is a do gooder overall all. I'm just in shock having learned that she has been drinking for 2 years. She tells me that she is glad now she does not have to hide it anymore and says she hated lying to me, but was afraid of what I would do if I found out, obviously. I want to punish her but I don't want to push her the other way where she will rebel more and do worse things. I guess this is my reality check. I need to come to terms with the fact that kids her age will drink and I think I can almost deal with that if I can somehow make a deal with her that she will not get drunk and obviously drive when she has been drinking. I have an even bigger problem with the cigarettes and I just can't stand the thought of her smoking. She tells me she has not done any drugs. I want to believe her, but at this point I am also very hurt and feel that she has broken the trust I had in her by lying to me all this time. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. Sigh.

been there [2008-06-30]
It is very scary and hard to know how to deal with these situations when they are basically really good kids - good grades, caring, thoughtful, involved in clubs, etc. . One thing I did with my daughter was told her straight out if I ever found out she had been drinking and driving, her car would be gone - not for a week or two either, at least 6 months and probably longer. . Also, if I found out she was riding with someone who had been drinking, she would be severely grounded. . There was ALWAYS the option to call for a ride home with no questions asked. .These things never happened as far as I know - I did find out, later, about a time or two when alcohol was consumed and she stayed all night at a friendhappy there is danger in that too - as her response/judgment in certain situations may be off. . It seems that you have good communication with her and you definitely want to keep that going. . It is a fine line - you want them to know what you do not approve of, yet want them to be open and honest and talk to you. . Hang in there, it will get better.

We just bought a Prius and I will NEVER own anything but hybrid now! [2008-06-30]
We took our Prius from Philadelphia to Yellowstone Nat'l Park. Two weeks of driving, 5300+ miles on 10 fill ups of about 10 gallons each time. In fact, I filled up in Pittsburgh and am still driving around here at home on that tank of gas. Pretty much all of that trip was on interstate highways across the plains and up into the high mountains, and we still got close to or over 50 mpg. Our town mileage is even higher! It husband and 6 son are very comfortable driving this car. It's quiet, handles very well, and has lots of nifty gadgets for the base model, which is what we bought. The downside is that there is an 8-month wait for one in our area, and they just recently upped the price a few hundred dollars. But we love it, and found it to be great on the highway AND in town.

Well, now it's my turn to tell my story...(Beware..this is long) [2008-06-29]
Well, I just don I was 26 years old when I met and married my husband. It will be14 years ago this August. I was a platinum blond, Swedish, 26-year-old, voluptuous virgin waiting for my prince to come. I had never dated because I was too fearful and shy. My mother always told me that my prince was coming. She just didnthe prince of darkness. It has been a nightmare, although he says it has been great with only a few bumps along the way. He is abusive in every way including verbally, mentally, emotionally, some physical although very little (not an excuse, just telling it the way it is), what I feel is sexual abuse with me but not the children,but the worst by far is his financial abuse. He has told me many, many times, Who do you think YOU are? What do you think...that you I can find a dozen more women like you. I have three children, now ages 14, 13, and 11. 14-year-old has ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. My husbandis just like this although he has never been diagnosed and never would be because in his own words, I am perfect just like God made me. There is nothing wrong with me. The problem here is you. My credit is down the toilet. Credit score is about 500. His is 800. Through the years, when the children were babies I had to feed them dry cereal with a cup of water because he wouldn One very hot night in the summer, I had to feed them generic hot dogs and pink beans, which were some kind of bean that slithered out of the can in a gelatinous material. The kids werewere dry heaving at the table. One day when I was about 8 months pregnant with my last child, he came up to me and said, Well, I I said what He said (very matter of fact), I I won If you want something, get off your f______fat a__ and get a job. I had a 6-month-old and a 1 1/2-year-old and 8 months pregnant with the third one. What!! Get a job!! Are you crazy?? He said, Oh well. Famous last words. That is all I ever hear. He has ripped out phone lines, denied us food and clothing. We have two cars. He used to hide the car I would drive around the neighborhood so I couldn He would even take the carseats. One time when I was pregnant, I had no money so my girlfriend needed a babysitter a few hours a week. She lives in Connecticut, which is about 45 minutes from my home. She could only pay $45 a week but I would drive up there four days a week to watch those kids just to get that measly $45. One day when I was leaving to go, I wanted $2 for an ice cream cone (I was pregnant at the time and that was my thing during that pregnancy). I asked him for $2 and he said no. I reached into his wallet and took $2 anyway. So he came after me. I took out the butcher knife but he ran outside to get to the car first so I couldn I put away the knife and ran out the back door to try to get to the car first but he got there before me. I reached in to try to grab the car keys out of the ignition when he rolled the window up as hard as he could. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I thought he was going to break my arm. I was able to backhand him and he unrolled the window. A little while later I ran to the neighbors to call the police because he ripped the phone lines out. I was there for about 15-20 minutes calling the police, family, and my friends to come and help. When I got back to the house, he had taken both cars (hid one in the neighborhood) and went to work. He left my 9-month-old and 1 1/2-year-old children all by themselves (and at the time I lived on a very busy street where cars would drive by at 50 mph). When I walked in, they were sitting on the living room floor screaming at the top of their lungs. The next morning I was in the shower and I lifted up my arms to wash my hair when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the underside of my arm. It was a jet black bruise about four to five inches long by about two inches wide. It was literally jet black. I was stunned. When I called the police, I told them what was going on with his abuse. I told them I was pregnant with two little ones at home. I told them I had no food. I told them and showed them the bruise and I told them I wanted to press assault charges. They said, He did that to you? I said yes. I said, I want him arrested for assault. I told them where he worked. They turned around and told me that because the incident happened the day before that there was nothing they would do and that they weren They told me to just let him lie low for a while. This happened in 1996. We are not talking the 50s here. This was just before they handed me a pamphlet on battered women and battered women The pamphlet said there does not have to be any sign of physical abuse. If you are in a situation where you simply fear for your safety, the person can be arrested. And I am sitting there pregnant with ahuge, jet black bruise underneath my arm from where he rolled my arm up in the window. This is just a few tidbits of the life I have had with him. There have been some good times and good vacations but mostly bad. We have fought so bad for years and years that I know the toll it has taken on the kids. The guilt I have is insurmountable. If he buys groceries, I have to pay him back. If he pays the phone bill, I have to pay him back. If he buys me anything or gives me a $10 or $20 bill, I have to pay him back. Most of the time, I am not allowed to go into a store with him. I went with him once to Wal-Mart and I put a $2 box of sweetener into the carriage. That was it. I am now not allowed to go into a store with him. He screams at us that he pays the rent, therefore, it is his house and we have to learn to live the way he wants us to and we should be catering to him. If we don He has told me for years that he is a king and that the house is his castle and that he has allowed us to live with him because he is kind, loving, and gracious. He will only buy oneChristmas gift for his kids and no stocking stuffers or tape or wrapping paper or anything like that.I have to do that with what I get paid to do MT work. He doesn When they were little, I would tell him that the children needed some cool clothes for summer. He would take their little pants and cut them off and then take their turtleneck shirts and cut off the turtle neck and cut off the sleeves and say, There you go. There Or he would just tell me, Go ask your sister to buy them some clothes. He has threatened to kill me and the children if I leave. He has told me that he would kill me and the children before I would ever see child support. He has a sex fettish where he wants it all the time, every day multiple times in a day if he could get it (not that he does, mind you. I stopped that crazy crap a long time ago), and I am just supposed to stop all that I am doing and fulfill his needs (even though sex for me offers virtually nothing other than soreness,swelling, and boredom and has always been like this). If I don I am very overweight, I smoke like a chimney, my credit is destroyed, I don I have less now 14 years later than I did before I married him. At least before I married him I had my own very nice car and some clothes. I don My clothes are tattered, stained, and worn. And...I had dreams of what my life was going to be like when I got married. But it certainly was not a life like this. My kids are older now and they are seeing their father for who he is. He blames me and tells me it is all the bad stuff I am telling the children. I keep telling him it is what they have seen for 14 years. They beg me to divorce him. My youngest, who is 11, was diagnosed last year with severe ulcerative colitis. He has had a flare now for the past six weeks with at least ten bouts of diarrhea with blood every day. He talks about depression a lot and always asking me what it is. When I got the call last year from his pediatrician telling me to take him to the hospital for a possible blood transfusion (this was when we got his diagnosis), Ialmost fell on the floor from fear. I called my husband at work to tell him he needed to come home. He said, I can I have to work. He said, Don His red blood cell count had dropped to 7.2 froma normal of 12 because of his bleeding. He came to the hospital when he got out of work. He showed up at 6:00 p.m. We went outside and talked for a bit and then about 20 minutes after he showed up, he said, Well, I have to go home to eat and shower. I When I got angry, he said Hey, I I need to rest. Besides, there We still didn I didn I was scared to death. But he had to go home to eat and shower and rest!!!! I think that was the beginning of the end for me. I once read something on these boards that someone posted saying Marriage is not supposed to be a good deal for one and misery for the other. That is what my life has been. My marriage was a great deal for him...kids that he never has to pay for (I mean nothing...not school projects and believe me there are a ton of them, not clothes, not shoes, notebooks, backpacks, nothing), free sex, and a wife that he doesn I believe in my soul that my marriage was a good business deal for him. If you knew my husband, you would laugh at that statement because he is extremely uneducated and talks like a mentally retarded person. People in the past have actually asked me if he was mentally retarded. He thinks that if my son would drink lots and lots of water, that that will cure his ulcerative colitis and makes fun of me and insults me and everyone else. Itell him he is a moron and he doesn His abusive mother made them drink nothing but water. She would not buy them anything or strive for a better life. They lived in a nightmare life. So now he gets very angry when we woncure everything. He tells us that he is trying to show us how to live right but we just won He tells this to other people too including our landlord. He has the most disgusting habits. He picks scabs and eats them, he has eczema and psoriasis so he is one huge flake, which he enjoys picking off chunks and dropping them in a pile on the floor, he passes unbearable gas (like every two or three minutes that has such a horrid stench it makes all of us nauseous) and then flips out if we spray a room spray. He will actually grab the can and scream that this is his house and we are all just disgusting to live with and just impossible to live with. He just had a fight with my 12-year-old daughter tonight because he was passing tons and tons of gas and she sprayed a room spray. He got up in her face screaming at the top of his lungs at 11:00 at night that this is his house. He will pass gas all he wants and that he won She was crying and begging me to divorce him. She kept saying, You said it would be better for the family if you stayed married to him but it It won Well, I could go on and on. It has been 14 years of this but I think you get the picture. I have no money. I don I have a son who is going to need ongoing frequent medical care and I am afraid he will cancel the insurance if I do anything to get rid of him. I have a great fear for our safety. He has major problems with having to give up his money so to haveto pay child support will send him over the edge. He is a pathological liar so you can He told me, I would never allow anyone to judge me like that. You can tell the judge to kiss my balls. He seems to expect the absolute highest standards from the children and I but he doesn Never has and never will but will shove it down my throat when he doesn Well, any advice. I really am looking for legal advice for anyone else who has been through this. I know I need to get rid of him...for the kids sake. They need to see that life is not like this and not all men do this and that you don My daughter, who just turned 13, says to me she hates men with a passion. I told my niece that I felt like I was dying. I never, never, never, never leave my house except to go to Dunkin Donuts up the street to get a coffee. I haven And that is three hours probably once every two months. I am lonely, isolated, and ragingly angry. I want to go back to school but when I talk about that, he poo poos it saying I should go back in five or ten years or 15 years when my bills are paid and I can afford it. HELLO????? I am going to be 43 in October. Maybe I should just wait to go back to school until I Well you get the picture. If you By the way, when I bring up any of his abuse to him, he tells me I don Funny, he always remembers every time I swear at him though. Has never forgotten a single time.

assume this is true. God help you [2008-06-29]
and get away from him. get to the women's shelter, in fact, you probably need the witness protection program. he cannot legally drop insurance on the kids with a court order. There has to be someone legal to help you and the women's shelter or crisis abuse hotline knows all the numbers. outside of your kids it does not sound like you would be leaving much behind if you just went with what you could carry. I would take ANY death threat seriously and the fact he is now turning it on the kids is worrisome. Good luck.

I would lay down the law now s/m [2008-06-29]
I was a goodie-goodie, too, or so my mom thought. I was an honor student (actually graduated second in my class), ran with a pretty good crowd, never did drugs. I did, however, try alcohol (wanting to fit in with some of the wilder crew) and cigarettes. The cigarette thing didn My mom noticed the smell on me almost immediately and told me if she ever caught me smoking, she would make me eat a pack of cigarettes. At the time, I took her pretty seriously; though, looking back now, I doubt she would have actually made me eat it. As for the alcohol, tried that once, too, in high school. Fortunately, I didnbeer and since that I chose not to drink. I was heavily involved in SADD and I think that weighed in a lot for me. My biggest area of concern for my parents was the whole dating/sex thing. I had a steady boyfriend for my sophomore and junior year and ended up taking it to that level. When I finally told my mom about it, she freaked, as did my dad. I was grounded for 6 months and she kept her word. I went no where with my friends. Eventually, I was allowed to date again, my senior year, but not with that guy. Putting us on hold for 6 months seemed to do the trick. I realized he didn The guy I dated throughout my senior year was good enough to wait for me, and I ended up marrying him several years later (after college). 13 years and still going, so far so good! So, be strict with your daughter, but be fair and consistent. She needs to know there are limits and that if she chooses to continue with these actions, there will be adverse consequences. After all these years, I'm glad my mom did what she did or I probably would have ended up pregnant before I graduated high school and who knows what kind of life I would have had then.

This year was rough...sm [2008-06-27]
I turned 41 this month, but it wasn I It all seemed to come to a head on my actual birthday for some reason and I was inconsolable. I cried almost all day. It was awful.

Scary! Thanks for sharing because [2008-06-26]
now I'm going to be on high alert. Thank God you caught it when you did! BTW, which company are you talking about that might have been an inside job? I'm hoping it's not one I have an account with! :0)

Been there...... [2008-06-25]
My daughter had a choice between a state college and private and no, it does not necessarily look better on her resume going to a private college, it's what she will bring away from that and how she feels while there. My daughter went through orientation at both colleges and immediately knew what she wanted. She could get her scholarship at either. She said she just felt uncomfortable at the private college, too many snooty kids who were there more to please parents than anything else. The state college she chose had a very laid back atmosphere, where she felt comfortable. And you're right, comfort zone is everything. If a student is nervous nellis the entire time and feels out of place, what good is that going to do her? My daughter came out of the college with a job handed to her because of her grades and high recommendations from instructors. My husband went to her rival state college, one of the best business schools around, and has worked for an exceptional private firm for over 20 years, making lots more than many going to private colleges, so private doesn't necessarily mean better. It's what she puts into it. Good luck to her!!

Just some pros and cons of private college [2008-06-24]
Pros Academic excellence. At the private university learning is the emphasis more than the curriculum itself. The curriculum is rigorous and the course-work is unending, but learning is the central focus at such schools. If you plan on working during school, it is very difficult to balance a full-time schedule at a private university with a work schedule. The time commitment required to succeed in a given class is high, and this will ultimately interfere with your ability to work. Close-knit community. The student community is an integral part of most private colleges. This can be difficult for more independent students who prefer a less hands on approach. The students communicate closely with professors both in and out of class and the students themselves attempt to involve everyone in campus activities. Involvement in the student community is one of the keys to enjoying your college experience at a private college. Involved students. The classroom dynamic is much different at a private university than at a public school. Most students are entirely committed to their academic success. They participate actively in classroom discussions, complete coursework, and are fully engaged in the classroom culture. Top-notch professors. Like the professors at state universities, the instructors at private universities have track records that attest to their personal academic achievements. While most are reputable, professors at private colleges tend to be more loyal to the college they work for and more interested in the achievements of their students. Merit scholarships. The listed tuition is the highest at private colleges; however, what students actually pay for tuition is usually lower. When a student is interested in a private university and the school is interested in the student, both parties begin negotiating tuition by way of grants, merit scholarships, and other financial incentives. Thus, students with a good G.P.A. and knock out test scores should consider applying to any private institutions that they are interested in. Class size. Even at larger private colleges the class size is contained. There are still lecture halls, but typically, fewer teaching assistants and more professors. At small private colleges classes can be as small as 10 or 12 students. Cons Homogeneous population. If you are looking for a more diverse student body that recruits kids from all walks of life, you aren�t likely to find it at a private college. If you are interested in a particular university, check it out first. It�s definitely a good idea to get a feel for what type of students they attract and their current student body is a good indicator. Demanding schedule. The heavy workload makes it difficult to balance extracurricular activities, a job, and a social life at a private college. It�s a good idea to identify your priorities before setting out to attend a school that cost $30 thousand a year. Your parents will appreciate your consideration and you will avoid unnecessary conflicts. Cost of tuition. Tuition is high, even for a good education. If money is no object�go private. If finances are a primary concern, consider all of your alternatives before committing yourself to a decade of debt. Transferring credits. Private universities each have different crediting methods. If the university that you choose doesn�t work for you it may be difficult to transfer and retain all the credits you have earned.

Private vs state college. [2008-06-24]
My daughter has been accepted to U of Tampa, a private college. She will be a transfer student from a community college.However, she is also entertaining going to U of South FL(St. Pete campus). Financially it At USF, she will be covered 75% by Bright Futures.We will have to take out loans for housing for either. We are having extreme anxiety over this. Both campuses are very nice, but her personality is more condusive to the St. Pete (state college) atmosphere. ItUT which is in the middle of downtown Tampa. There are so many factors and if I enumerated them here, well, ya But her major concern is learning and her second concern is being happy in her environment. We are not big city folk, but I have no doubt wherever she goes, she will succeed. I just want her to have the best experience possible. In my heart I think USF is best, but she thinks resume-wise, a private college would look better. Also,she is having a problem with turning downthe grants/scholarships ($15,000) from UT and opting for a state school. Let me also briefly say that her program of study is very strong at both schools and she has links with a professor at one of the schools who is advising her, but nonbiased (so he's helpful, but not enough to say GO HERE! lol) I I don't know... She's going to have to make this decision on her own, but if any of ya'll have any input regarding either school or the area or college experience with state vs private, I would really appreciate a word or two! One more thing... she Not that that's a big consideration, but a comfort zone is a good thing? And... I would move there with her IN A HEARTBEAT (either place), but my son is about to enter an AS program (radiology) at the community college here and that track cannot be interrupted... just wanted to give all pertinent info for best input by ya'll.

My daughter is currently attending a private [2008-06-24]
college and she absolutely loves it. She just finished her freshman year. While she could have gone with full tuition to both state colleges, she chose the private school and with her grants/scholarships, etc. her dad and I are only paying about $2000 a year. Her school is so much smaller, the class sizes are approximately 15 to 20 students (if that many) and all the professors are very supportive and actually interested in all the students. She has told me there is no way she would go to a larger, public institution just because of the astmosphere. The entire campus is bascially just 1 big happy family. It was an adjustment for her, but she had attended a state scholars program the year before, so she had lived away from home last summer, plus she is only 90 miles away from home now, so she basically comes home every weekend. My daughter likes the school being small (it is smaller than her high school) and enjoys the family-like feel. Whatever your daughter decides, I am sure she will be happy whereever she goes, but IMO the private college is the way to go. The private college my daugher attends is ranked in the top 10 liberal art colleges in the country, and she has been told that a diploma from there does more than just get your foot in the door for job interviews. I don't know about all of the private colleges, but where she is they do help with locating employment after college and have a 95% success rate with that to. There is just more individual attention at a smaller school, which really helped her out with her freshman year which is a hard enough transition anyway.

Short story about ATVs [2008-06-24]
A woman I know was riding one with her 2 y/o grandson. She was turning on the 4-wheeler when it kicked into high gear and wouldn They were heading right for a tree. Basically she had to jump off while holding onto her 2 y/o grandson. The 4-wheeler then ran into a tree and did some major damage. Thankfully, no one was hurt and she did the right thing by jumping, but still. They found out that whoever had put the 4-wheeler together before they bought it had done something wrong and when she turned it caused a wire to do something weird and it made it go fast and wouldn I can't remember exactly what they said happened, but if she hadn't jumped, she would have run right into a tree at full speed with her 2 y/o grandson. Also, there was a young kid....about 5 or 6....who was killed about a month ago on an ATV. His older brother was driving and something happened and the kid hit his head and was killed. Had he had a helmet on, he probably would have lived. When my stepson has a friend over, we always ask the parent Asking permission is just common courtesy.

Something to consider... [2008-06-24]
My brother received a full scholarship to a private school. The first year was okay, but as thecourses got harder, he became more pressured to attain a C average or better to maintain his scholarship. The stress of that nearly killed him. If the state school financial situation doesn My brother did great in high school, but he soon found out he couldn He As for the social aspect, we are from a very small town (population 4000). The private school my brother attended was located 10 minutes from New York City. It was an adjustment at first, but he soon came to love the environment. Now that he He says he enjoys all the cultural things. He even eats sushi now (I don't think there's a sushi bar within 50 miles of us).

Yesterday at the mall I was talking with a friend SM [2008-06-24]
I met who works there. A group of young girls about high school age came up to me and asked if I would take a picture of them together. I noticed she had such a beautiful accent. I was about to take the picture and she told me to be sure to get the American flag that hangs from the ceiling in the picture as well. They were thrilled to be in America. We asked them where they were from and they said they were from Russia. They were beautiful, polite girls who were smiling from ear to ear. It was a nice moment and I wanted to share it with you.

LOL!!! that's funny! sm [2008-06-22]
my main reason for being at home is my kids. my mom had to work and i missed her not being able to come to my parties at school, not being there for me when the bus brought me home. i think eventually i'll venture out. i worked at a local hospital for 4 1/2 years and i really enjoyed it, but after having my son, i just missed him so much and didn't like being at the hospital any more. so i've been home now almost 10 years working.

Keep in mind I have zero experience with this, but...sm [2008-06-21]
first, has your mother told her lawyer about all of this? I would think her lawyer would have advice, or at least can refer her to someone in the know. Maybe she can charge your father really high rent with legal repercussions (eviction) if he fails to pay up? Ifyourfather has a girlfriend, why canwith her? Can he sell his 7 acres? Obviously I don What a tough situation; I feel bad you and your family have to go through this.