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You absolutely did the right thing! [2008-12-02]
I have a nephew who is turning 21 soon. This reminds me so much of him. His grandmother bails him out of trouble time and time again - but does he learn anything from his mistakes? Nope. Not one thing. It is a cycle that has to be broken. I only hope that it will be broken before he is also in his 40s like your stepdaughter. I am also a stepmom so I can understand your dilema there and the hurtful things that might be said, etc.
But step or bio, everyone in my family knows my philosophy: I understand that everyone makes mistakes and slips up but when it comes to being in jail, hurting another family member, or taking advantage of someone - I won't participate in the least.
Just know in your heart that you did the right thing for her in the long run. She can be mad, upset, maybe even make hurtful comments but if that's the case she can just as easily ask one of her bioparents as she can ask you.
agreed except for one thing [2008-11-30]
I hope the guilty are sitting at home realizing they should take responsibility for their actions and not worry about the video and I also hope that they have enough conscience to actually feel guillty and to realize just how immoral their actions are. unfortunately, it appears people just do not have a heart anymore.
I've read the same thing about bathing dogs. sm [2008-11-30]
I have a Sheltie, and the Sheltie book recommends bathing when s/he gets very dirty or before a show. They don't need routine bathing. They need frequent brushing which removes dirt. Some dog breeds don't have oily coats, so don't smell. Sheltie is one of them, a collie is probably the same.
I recommend taking Maggie to the groomer for a good brushing every other week or so. It would be good for Maggie's coat and skin. The groomer can advise you when she needs a bath.
Hanging out at your house is a good thing [2008-11-26]
as long as you are there. My house became the hang out house, and it was hard, especially when I was trying to get my work done. But I knew where they were and could step in and keep things under control when necessary. I donrule of 16 which meant my sons could not date until they were 16 years old. Boys don't really seem to fight this so much. My oldest didn't have a steady girlfriend until he was 18. My youngest was 17 when he first started dating. I also had problems with some of their friends being just plain rude. They'd swear, never say please or thank you, and just generally act like snotty brats at times. That wasn't a problem for me. I corrected them and taught them manners. I used humor, which again boys seem to respond to. Usually, when we had girls over who acted that way, the boys were quick to correct them, and I didn't have to step in myself.
As far as going out, my boys did go out to hang at the local pizza parlor in mixed groups when they were 13. I never had a problem, but they were held to time limits.
I think itYou know, I Good luck!
I think you are doing the best thing for your kids [2008-11-25]
My youngest is now 21, but I was much the same kind of mother you are. I hated video games from the first time they came out and my boys NEVER had any of them. We played lots of board games, they had a few little computer games, but none of the Nintendos or any of that stuff. They built stuff with Legos, played with each other, played outside in the yard and probably their favorite things were large cardboard boxes and their imaginations.
My kids have grown up to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted, much more so than their couch-potato, gamer peers.
So hang in there!
I go through this same thing every holiday - [2008-11-25]
I have to spend the holiday with my family by myself and miss my husband or else I have to insist that he go and then we are both miserable all day and it turns out bad anyway.
I never know what to do...
I want to spend holidays with him, but at the same time I do not want to make him go somewhere he obviously does not want to be.
I'm sorry that I cannot give you answers, but just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
OMG! I did the same thing. I have a picture..sm [2008-11-21]
I My kids were younger so the dollar store was great! Seriously, my living room was full! It For little kids that was easy. But now they I miss those days of buying from the dollar store and filling the living room. Now, theyonly get 1 or 2 presents and I hate it. It makes me cry every year. I'll look for that picture on my break and try to upload it.
My Rottie did the same thing [2008-11-13]
He loves everybody. He will get up and see who is coming in, but if we tell him okay, he goes back and lays down. We had some repairs being done after a leaking roof. Painters and carpet installers in and out. Roofers on the house. All sorts of noise and men for a few days. The day after they finished the work, I was home by myself, andone of the carpet guys came back and knocked on the door. When I opened the doormy Rottie got between me and the screen door, growled a low serious growl, and his hair on his back came up. The guy wanted to come intocheck on the carpet job. I told himthe carpet was fine, I would call the store if there were any problems, and closed the door. A few weeks later the same guy raped a woman the day after he had been to her house installing carpet. Turns out he didn I trusted my dog Although I don't know what the guy was thinking that he could come in and hurt me without fighting off me and the dog, but you never know!
You did the right thing. A year and a half ago 5 girls, sm [2008-11-13]
from a town that I used to live in, (1 had been in preschool with my daughter), just graduated from high school, were on their way to the family cottage of one of the girls, and they were all killed in a crash. There had been a text message sent from the driver's phone just before the crash. Everyone left behind was devastated.
Hopefully your actions will save her life.
As far as the breast-feeding thing sm [2008-11-13]
There are a few herbal supplements and other medications that women can take to stimulate lactation. I was on an infertility board several years ago, and there were adoptive mothers doing this. It is difficult and often does not work. There are also ways to simulate breast-feeding (special tubing connected to bottles that are situated in a way to get the infant to suckle) that can also help lactation.
One thing I forgot to add was that - sm [2008-11-11]
a big part of the problem is owners who don't neuter their male dogs. Most of the attacks on the news in my area seem to involve un-altered males. The dog that had me cornered was also an un-altered male.
There was a really horrible attack in San Francisco a couple years ago... a 12-year-old boy was killed in his own home by the family's pet pitbulls. (Un-altered males). Apparently there was already a problem with them, and the mother knew the dogs couldn't be trusted with her son (who was afraid of them) home alone. A female she had was in heat at the time, too. The boy was home alone, and the mother had locked the dogs in another room. Somehow, they got out, and tore the poor boy to shreds. Imagine being the mom and coming home to that! When animal control picked up the dogs, they had the boy's blood all over them. I actually recognized one of them - had seen someone walking it through the park one day. So the problem was... even though the mother knew the dogs might be dangerous, and she tried to do the right thing by locking them up, on that particular day, that wasn't enough.
Granted, they don't all act like that. Plus just about any breed can revert to a predatory pack mentality under the right conditions. But again, irresponsible breeding has changed the breed in large part for the worse (they're bigger and more aggressive). Unresponsible owners who don't properly socialize the dogs (or who fight them, or encourage them to be aggressive for 'protection') are the worst offenders. And those who are backyard breeders. Now there are 'way too many of them, and 'way too many with the bad bloodlines, too.
And you won't believe THIS: Remember the story about the huge Presa Canario dogs that killed a woman in a San Francisco apartment hallway? (Earning their owners some well-deserved jail-time). Well, some people are actually crossing pits and Presas! Saw some for sale the other day on Craigslist. Talk about breeding 'biting machines'! Those things will grow up to be 150-lb. pitbulls-on-steroids.
The only sure thing about having a High IQ [2008-11-11]
is that you can score high on an IQ test. My mother had an IQ of 150 and she was a data entry clerk all of her life.
I think you did the right thing - sm [2008-11-02]
I enjoy caroling and never expect to get anything out of it other than sounding good with my family/friends. When carolers come to my door (not often but it happens) I generally give out Christmas cookies or candy, which I usually make all through the Holiday season. As a caroler, though, it's about singing and being appreciated for that that counts, I think.
That's really not nice of him, you poor thing [2008-11-02]
Good that he he let you do the baby!
Isn't that a shame? But it's not just a recent thing. I've heard of it [2008-10-24]
//
I know it is very harsh...the thing is I have asked her so many times (sm) [2008-10-21]
and the things she says are hurtful to my children. I am not petty and it is not over something small like candy or just having a difference of opinion. The things she says to them really scare and upset them. She let them watch a woman giving birth on TV once when they were very young...I had not explained yet to them exactly how a baby gets out...they were both very upset. She also has told other family members that she believes my husband is a child molester and that he has made my son, who is 11, gay. My husband is not a molester. My son likes girls. He has no idea she ever said that, but if he ever heard that she did, it would probably be very devastating to him. Each time I have sat down and tried to explain to her that we donoh, yeah, that She kept the kids while I was gone overnight this past weekend and I specifically asked her not to say anything that would scare them. She let my daughter invite a friend to sleep over. She told them all about ghosts and demons and how she once saw a demon in her closet. The girl sleeping over got scared and cried to go home at midnight. My daughter called me on my cell at midnight crying because her friend was scared and going home and she was also scared. At what point do I draw the line?
Correct about one thing [2008-10-16]
One can still be saved and not have to attend church but church should be a place where we can go to be with those who follow Christ and if we do it right, be there for one another in Christ.
I don't believe a person is sinful just because they don't attend a church but I know it would uplift them to belong to a good church and be a part of a church community. So many times people feel lonely and isolated and a good church family would be there for them.
That's such a mean thing to say! What if someone wanted you to be illegal! nm [2008-10-14]
I'm not working either; it's a good thing, since my thumb feels like it will soon fall off - n [2008-10-12]
:)
Well then I guess it is a good thing that ...sm [2008-10-12]
close minded people like you don't run our country then. Go do some research before you make comments. A pit bull is a dog like any other. They are steretyped as being vicious because some people fight them. I do not agree with fighting any breed of dog including pit bulls. Those fighting pits are TRAINED to do that. They are not born that way. Some won't even fight after being trained to. I used to have a Yorkie that was a little fellow but he was 10 times meaner than my pit. Actually I will tell you how nice the pit was. With his size he could have easily killed the yorkie. Well the yorkie was constantly growling and biting the pit and one day just reached up and bit him square on the balls. The pit turned around and just looked at him. He could have torn the little fellow apart but he didn't. Now would a unstable mean dog be that calm? You need to rethink your comments. You are way off the mark.
I thought the same thing... [2008-10-08]
I feel so bad for her, with all this expectation to be so much and just be starting life. So very very sad :-(
ok sk8girl, the window is wonderful and a really good thing [2008-10-08]
for your eyes. If you focus near and then you can focus out a window, you will save your eyes and type for about 20 more years than you would without a window. I lost my window and my eyes followed close behind. I love that you all have the same stacks of books I do, same bowl of almost food, required coffee mug and the fact that it looks like we all spend our lives right in that chair. ha ha.
Thinking the same thing...... [2008-10-07]
xx
The affair thing [2008-10-07]
I think an affair is something to consider. Google signs of an affair and see if anything else seems to go with the typical behavior. He certainly is a ripe age for it (mid-life crisis material).
Whatever it is, don't assume he will just get over it. You need to get to the bottom of it.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
Well, the other thing that you have to [2008-09-24]
remember is that she is a teenager and most probably this will pass, the hormones, etc. There were plenty of times my kids hated me too, but they're very close to me now. They no longer live at home and I still talk to them and see them all the time. I also have a 14-yo daughter and am not looking forward to when she turns 16 that's for sure!!
I hated my father too when I was a teenager, but of course, I don't now. I know this really hurts you to hear your daughter say this, but I really think it will pass. In the meantime, though, you do have to stay on top of things that endanger her life and that's not overreacting!
About the phone, can you take the phone all together and only let her have it when she is away from you so that you can get in touch with her? Don't know that this will work, but it is another step to try.
I took one of my sons to a therapist for a while and he hated it. Did nothing for him. He's fine now, but he was definitely an angry young man at that age. That's why I think so much of this will pass with time.
She denies other drugs you say, but you still have a sense. Have you searched her room? Her computer? I always told my kids that I would respect their privacy as long as they gave me no reason not to. If I felt there was a reason, I would look through anything and everything.
Good luck!!!
That's not true. I've tried to quit 6 times [2008-12-04]
in the past 5 years. I made it for 3 weeks by being cooped up in my house while everyone else was having fun in the garage. But DH had an important phone call he had to take, so I braved it and went up to tell him. Just the whiff of smoke did it for me. Back on them.
I tried cold turkey, the patch, herbal supplements, and even hypnotism. Ichew gum. Itired of hearing from me.
I don't have a PMD, so I can't get an Rx.
My DH quit 16 years ago by throwing his pack out the car window as we were driving. He is so kind to me because I haven't been able to quit. He never harps on quitting. He understands. He's seen me go through withdrawal and it's not pretty.
My son and his wife quit when she became pregnant. He used Chantix and also had the wildest dreams so went off them after 3 weeks, but he hasntouched up a cigarette since and being around people who smoke doesn't bother him.
I guess I
I whish the best for everyone who wants to quit and hope you all make it. I've stopped trying.
I post this every holiday season and will try SM [2008-12-04]
posting again. Sigh.
I have two stephchildren. One is 30 and one is 25. I actually love them like my own children. Problem is gift giving. Do you give gifts to adult stephchildren who do not give gifts to you? If they were small children or teens, of course I would buy them gifts, but they are ADULTS! Every year I post this same question and get same answers from people saying how much they LOVE buying hundreds of dollars worth of stuff for EVERYONE they know and that I shold get in the holiday spirit of buying. I don I have two grandchildren, 4 and 1-1/2, and have spent a combined $100 on their gifts. Ibuying my SIL a book.
Last year, stepdaughter gave me a regifted gift card from Starbucks and stepson gave me small bag of candy (smushed carton).
They don I find buying gifts for adults silly. And please, do not suggest handmade gifts. I made that mistake years ago, when I made stepdaughter handmade mosaic tile box, with velvet interior. She threw the thing out.Isthere some tactful way out?
lol sounds like my MIL [2008-12-04]
My MIL was pissy this year too. Apparently because I got off of work (due to no jobs) and we arrived an hour early to spend extra time with them. She was mad at me. I thought it was a good thing!?
We have always gotten along as well but I have come to realize I just tolerate her and move on. Itstuck in the kitchen and feels left out. Of course she says this to her children. I always offer and more than once but I have come to realize if I just step in and do it won't be right regardless. She doesn't talk to any of her own kids that way even though I know for a fact my husband does things very different from the way she does. Somehow she doesn't notice with him but alarms go off when it's me.
She also hates to allow me to make anything to bring for dinner. I am martha-stewart-ish and she is the pull a pie out of the box type of person so I think it intimidates her or something. It's just the way I am and I enjoy doing things from scratch and old fashioned, plus I like to know what I am feeding my kids. I usually ask but just bring stuff along because I know it is the right thing to do and forget about the rest.
She talks nice to the other DIL in her presence but the moment she turns her back she bad-mouths her. A few people recently have told me she does the same to me (Imom any more. I feel for her but dang, I will be glad to relinquish the dinner reins to my DIL or SIL so I can just sit around and play with grandkids some day!
DH and I are w/my family for lunch [2008-12-04]
and his for dinner. I have ex-aunt that still gets invited to holiday get togethers since she was married to my uncle for so long and her kids and now a grandaughter will be with us. She and a real pain in the but. Even when it is not her house she tries to dominate everything. Where everyone should sit, when we should eat, the conversation somehow always revolves around her. She will ask you a question and even before you finsih answering she is off talking about something else. We basically just roll our eyes and try to avoid her. This year she wrote a letter to my mom asking her to move her Christmas Eve plans to a different time (have been doing the same thing for years) to make it easier on her. Not going to happen.
At DH I like her most of the time, but lately I have found that I just tend to tolerate her. She and I have never had any problems but I think her getting older is starting to take its toll. She and I differ anyway. Every Thanksgiving it is the same, everyone that comes brings a couple of dishes but she also does some of the cooking. She doesn This year as soon as we got there she took a hot pot off the stove and put the food into a serving dish. I decided to go ahead and wash it. The pot was extremely hot so I turned on the cold water to cool it off just a bit before I washed it. She came to the sink and turned the hot water on. I politely said I was just trying to cool if off a bit before I stuck my hands in it. No, that is not the way I do it. I was stunned. I have been married to her son for over 20 years and I always wash the dishes. I don But this year I said, well if you want me to leave these for you to do, fine. I did help clean up after dinner but I did not put my hands in any dishwater. Besides they were still a bit pruned fromcleaning upafter lunch. LOL!
Btw, this is thesame woman who gives me something that she collects every year for Christmas even though I andher daughter have very politelylet herknow this is not something I want.
We just bought a new mattress - sm [2008-12-04]
It's a Sealy. Can't recall exactly which one but lower end on the price bracket. I think it was about 1000.00 for the mattress and box springs.
We had one of those air beds for a long time and I will never ever recommend one of those.
My husband also has back problems and needed a comfy mattress so he wanted that number bed thing. It was horrible. I would wake up with lower back pain that would stick with me half the day. His pain was worse too.
Not to mention the fact that his side of the bed sprung a leak so after about the first year or so, there was no adjusting it to a comfort zone. Had to pump it all the way up and by morning, it was completely flat and he was laying in a hole inside the foam frame. It was cheaply made, uncomfortable, and a HUGE rip off.
Go for a Sealy, it's worth it. I'm loving it.
No fights but [2008-12-04]
my husband's family (mainly MIL) sure does know how to strike a nerve and I can see how one could easily break out. More or less everyone makes an effort to keep their distance from her. Dinner is one thing, spending the entire weekend together is another. The kids split off to visit each other at their own homes with their kids and leave the parent's out.
My family is all about family over the holidays so no fights. I think it's understood by everyone that if you don't like it, you don't have to participate but it's one of the few times a year that everyone can get together and put their past feelings aside and get along. We were taught that from a young age.
My first job was in an office where everyone [2008-12-03]
smoked except me! It was horrible! Grew up with a smoking parent, too - so had to breathe it in the car. It was on planes, busses, trains, and in restaurants. There was no such thing as non-smoking motel rooms or airports, and even in junior high and high school, where you weren't allowed to smoke, everyone still did it in the bathrooms.
YUCKKKKKKK !!!
Ethnic variety/languages. What's yours? [2008-12-02]
I'm just curious.
I am a Germanic blend. The Scandinavians are actually one of the original Germanic tribes. I was born in Sweden, raised in Norway, had German Father and live in the US. I learned Swedish and Norwegian at the same time, English later and can fling a phrase or two in German. (Tho I read it better, if slowly, than I could ever speak it.) My preferred method of communication is actually what a friend refers to as Swenglish but is a weird mix of all my favorite languages.
I consider myself a Scandinavian, but I am a Californian as well. This is my home now, even if I do sometimes pine for the fjords. (Gratuitous Monty Python reference, for you slow types!)
I have actually met people who do not know where their ancestors hailed from! That is inconceivable to me!
So, tell me about your family and language, please. I find this kind of thing interesting.
Where are you from? Where did your ancestors come from? What language do you speak in the home growing up? What language do you speak now in your home?
Like I said, just curious.
About once a week sm [2008-12-02]
She is a small poodle, less than 2 years old. She runs outside every chance she gets and gets under the deck. She also sleeps on my bed every night and I will not sleep with something that smells bad. If I enjoyed that sort of thing, I would still be married.
She has very fine, wavy poodle hair. She is oily and if she doesn't have a bath at least every 10 days, she freezes in the winter, even in her cute little sweaters. I give her a bath, let her dry in front of the faux fireplace, and brush her a bit. Next day, she is perfectly warm in her little sweaters and warmer at night too. If she goes very long, she develops so much eye snot that she can't see well. I do my own grooming and I keep her properly trimmed about every other week.
End result is: Gorgeous little apricot poodle who looks adorable and smells like flowers. No dry skin, no flaking, almost never scratches at all unless she has had to go a whole 2 weeks without a bath. This is not too frequently for this dog.
Advanced Directives ? [2008-12-02]
A friend and I were talking about Advanced Directives. Obviously, we both signed them long ago, but in a case where the doctor
I told her I wasn We both realize that anytime a procedure or surgery is done we sign it again (don't we?!), but in a case where it's been a long time, it seemed like a good thing to know.
Thanks!
You absolutely did the right thing! [2008-12-02]
I have a nephew who is turning 21 soon. This reminds me so much of him. His grandmother bails him out of trouble time and time again - but does he learn anything from his mistakes? Nope. Not one thing. It is a cycle that has to be broken. I only hope that it will be broken before he is also in his 40s like your stepdaughter. I am also a stepmom so I can understand your dilema there and the hurtful things that might be said, etc.
But step or bio, everyone in my family knows my philosophy: I understand that everyone makes mistakes and slips up but when it comes to being in jail, hurting another family member, or taking advantage of someone - I won't participate in the least.
Just know in your heart that you did the right thing for her in the long run. She can be mad, upset, maybe even make hurtful comments but if that's the case she can just as easily ask one of her bioparents as she can ask you.
You have inspired me [2008-12-02]
Kinda of the opposite of you, I function better with organization. I am lost because of the clutter in my house. I am usually a neat freak but I have really let things go recently. I dread the holidays this year and just do nothing instead of doing a little here and there. My clutter has gotten pretty bad (for me) and it is to the point where I just dread doing it but I KNOW I would feel so much better if I just dug in and got it done. Remember your motivation, your daughter's wedding! That is a great thing! You will be so much happier knowing it is nice and clutter free.
christmas gift exchange again sm [2008-12-02]
Our family has always picked names for Christmas and bought only for that person. The limit is supposed to be $25. You know how hard it is to just spend $25 especially on someone that basically has everything. In the past this had just included the adults in their 40s and 50s. Of course one felt obligated to buy the teenagers and younger children something. I Last year I spent close to $200 on Christmas. I really couldn
This year my SIL presented the idea of a low cost gift or gift card (my mother hates gift cards) and playing the game of picking a number, then picking a gift, etc. Well my otherbrother and his wife, who are well off, and my mother decided they didn I told my mom I don I can Its only $25 they say. Arenmoney?Well its never just $25 and what can I buy a teenager that has everything for $25? They turned up their noses on the small gifts I gave them in the past.I also donspend more than $25 on me when I could only afford $25. I already feel inferior about my financial status in comparison to my siblings and I feel the best thing for me is to not participate. What I really loathe Christmas anymore. No one really appreciates any gifts they are given and I donI guess IWhy can Thanks for letting me vent.
Lucky you! I'm a clutterbug. [2008-12-02]
I tried the organization thingie and it was great but I couldnhere but now it.
I love things neat and tidy, but I can't waste 3 months looking for something.
Internet and cell phones - I remember before (sm) [2008-12-02]
I was a secretary in the late 80s for a medical association...I had to make up and send out hundreds of meeting packets to the doctors who were going to attend every month's meeting. Pages and pages of copies, colating and stapling them, addressing every FedEx label...it was an all day job, sometimes two days. Now you could just do a mass email and send it to all of them in 5 minutes. Amazes me every time I think about it. I also used to keep a monthly calendar of accredited events doctors could attend and had to mail that out to everyone...now, that can all just be put on a website to be viewed by anyone who needs it.
The cell phone thing though...other than being really glad I have it when I have car trouble or something, I'd rather not be tied to my phone like that. It is as though everyone expects you to be available all the time. I don't answer mine most of the time and call back if I need to.
Is it necessary to see a doctor if you've got mono [2008-12-01]
From what I read (doing the Internet doctor thing ) there's nothing medicinal they can give you for it, so why bother going to the doctor in the first place? Everything I've read says all you can do is treat the symptoms - take Tylenol, get lots of rest and fluids, gargle with salt water for sort throat, etc.
I had mono or Epstein Barr Virus...sm [2008-12-01]
which ever you want to call it. Epstein Barr Virus causes mono. I had it in 2003 and I was so sick. Believe it or not, I had it for 1-1/2 years. I was diagnosed after doing extensive bloodwork. I was house bound. I couldn't rarely go anywhere. I was so weak I couldn't get out of bed some days. It was the most awful thing I have ever had. And nothing could be done about it. It just had to kind of wear off. I did take a lot of vitamins toward the end of it and they seemed to help.
Agree. IMO, the people who took the door sm [2008-11-30]
off the hinges should be charged with involuntary manslaughter. Hope the security cameras got a good shot of those SOBs. I read that other workers tried to help the poor trampled man and they also got hurt.
Think of how much business these stores would get if they offered such bargains for a longer period.
Greed is an evil thing.
we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation.
I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.
I feel exactly the same way. [2008-11-29]
When my siblings and I started having kids, we agreed not to buy for each other's families. That has worked out fine.
This year, we have NO money. Even though we still have our same jobs, it seems like more money is going out than is coming in. I don't quite understand where the money is going myself, try explaining that to family. I would just like to completely forget Christmas this year. I would even volunteer to work to get out of it.
Don't feel bad about being bitter. I find myself getting tired of having no money and having to explain why we can't do the things we used to do all the time. I've started preparing the kids for Christmas, telling them it is going to be real skimpy around here. They are old enough to understand but whether they believe me is another thing.
Did anyone watch Wolfgang Puck on HSN .ast night.. [2008-11-29]
Lord, did that hostess with himtalk to no end. I couldn Everytime he She was talking nonstop. And saying the same thing over and over. Also, did you see when Wolfgang Puck sneezed into to the towel? THen he wipedpans and the counter with it? Then I noticed not too long after that he put some fritata on a plate and gave it to the talkative host and I didn I have to hand it Mr. Puck for the amount of patience he showed with Ms. Butt-In-Ski. Well, I guess t.v. has really gone downhill when you end up enjoying the commercials more than the shows, but I do...especially when they are selling cookware.
linen N things [2008-11-29]
I got a really weird looking stainless steel dutch oven looking thing with a long handle. It is actually a 5 quart with a top. I think I will fry things in it. It was too weird to pass up and too cheap since the store was liquidating.
not a healthy two-year-old [2008-11-28]
Apparently, the whole house had the rotavirus and the two year old got an ileus? This is a relative. I have never heard of such a thing!
after my shift...sm [2008-11-28]
I was in Walmart for 10 minutes because there was non-Christmas stuff that I needed and then I went to the grocery store, which was not crowded at all. I was going to go to Target for 1 thing until I saw the parking lot. Not a chance! That 1 thing wasn't that important. This is the first time I've gone shopping on Black Friday in years. It was good to reminded why I don't do it.
I think I am anti-gift giving this year [2008-11-28]
Money is so tight right now I am no sure how I am going to pay my bills this December.I had some unexpectedbills come up that needed to be taken care of. On top of that, I have to come up with X-mas gifts for everyone and they do not like cheap things. Their idea of cheap is hand-made and they do not like it. So that is out. I just got a part-time job but that is not going to kick in a whole lot of money until closer to the end of the year.
I would like to opt out of gift giving this year but if I suggest it I get the lecture from family members of what do you do with your money?, what are you spending it on? and other invasive questions. The other unforunate thing is I live in the same town with them.
The most inexpensive thing on my niece She is not careful with these and she has already gone through so many. To top it all off I have 3 birthdays in December.
I really hate this time of year.
Any suggestions on how to tell them to just buy for them and not for me and let me out of this so-called family time?
Sorry to be so bitter.
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