Do you have a Spencers Gifts by you. Lots of clean,

gifts [2008-12-02]
There are complicated metal puzzles that are not expensive, but are very entertaining for adults and teens. I have also found extravagant adult coloring books. I think that times are changing and in the future there will be less emphasis on gifts, but for now strange and unexpected can be just as good as expensive. http://www.mindwareonline.com/MWESTORE/Home/HomePage.aspx?&SG=PMDG1

I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm [2008-11-30]
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles. We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time! I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that. But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother. Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

We do...we have lots of board games.. [2008-11-25]
while my son has video games, he likes board games just as much because he knows we will play them with him...it is good quality time also!!!

agree with the clean up, and remove programs not used. sm [2008-11-21]
research the computer site, like dell, etc. sometimes they have forums, questions and answer areas. sometimes they offer fixes if it was a company glitch. but first get your ducks in a row by defragmenting and freeing up space.

I usually do a lot of handmade gifts. This year each kid gets $100 they are all grown sm [2008-11-21]
I make my oldest son boxer shorts, he only likes the ones I make. My other son wanted a robe and matching PJ pants. Daughter wanted a couple of outfits and a denim jacket. My mom wanted something I had knitted up for her. Stepdad just wants to be remembered. My brother won't take anything from me, so no problem there. I will do some small things for my friends, but I won't spend $500 total, even with giving the 3 kids $100 each. I have NEVER spent that much on Christmas! I have worked like a dog all year, but I have had no time to do these things they think they want.

tricky gifts [2008-11-19]
Whatever your specialty is in a nice bag or basket. Coffee mix recipes with chocolate and cinnamon are good. I made chocolate dipped plastic spoons and those came out good too because you can use really nice chocolate. There are a lot of ideas out there!

How much do you spend on Christmas gifts? [2008-11-19]
Is it the same budget every year, or with the economy the way it is will you cut back? If you have small children, do you spend more than on others? Just curious to see what people do moneywise.

Christmas Gifts [2008-11-19]
We have two daughters 5 and 14. It's harder with the 14 year old because now she wants all the high end gifts. We usually spend about $300 per child and we're probably going to do about the same this year. Luckily they're about the only people we buy for any more. If we had a lot of family members to buy for it would probably be a lot less. Now that the nieces and nephews are older and some married, we don't get them gifts and the few relatives we do buy for we usually don't spend a whole lot. My husband and I already got our Christmas gift for each other, a big flat screen TV so we're basically done with ourselves too.

Granny Smith with lots of butter, sugar and cinnamon and a dash of cloves&nutmeg. [2008-11-11]
xx

Baking gifts [2008-11-02]
Do any of you give baked goods during the holidays? What are some of your favorites? I get tired of making the same ole bread, cookies, and chocolate covered pretzels every year. I will say that last year I put peanut butter between 2 Ritz crackers and then covered them in baking chocolate (white and semi-sweet) and they turned out really well. I put sprinkles on the white ones (they showed up better than on the semi-sweet ones).

I have a feeling there are lots of us out here - sm [2008-10-24]
I have to say I think I may have it better than most. I've been working home almost twenty years and now both kids, 17 and 19, are on the brink of leaving, probably next year. My husband started his own business working at home four years ago, and we're literally (almost) joined at the hip. We share a 10 x 10 office. Yet, we almost never talk. When we do it's business or kid related. Right now I'm making more money than he is, and his business hasn't grown as fast as he had hoped, and now with the economy . . We started bickering about everything and about once a month have a big blow-up. I went to see a marriage counselor starting a year ago - he absolutely, positively will not go! So I'm going, mostly to find a way to survive another year or two until the kids are gone. I believe it will go one way or the other after that. I hope we stay together. We've both been divorced before and I wouldn't wish that on anybody. And I know the man I married is still in there somewhere. I'm going to do all I can to find him again so we can share the good stuff that we've worked so hard for - not to mention grandchildren when the time comes! Good luck to you. I've got no advice for you, but you are definitely NOT alone!

Not to mention all the postnatal problems lots of those [2008-10-24]
I type that stuff all day long. They're comin' over the border every day with their multimillion-dollar pregnancies, having them here, and then our hospital and social services system has to pick up the tab. I guess those people who think it's 'humane' to reproduce like rabbits haven't thought it through to what will be the result when our already-overpopulated planet gets even MORE overpopulated. They say they're 'doing it for the children' - yet look at the kind of world they're going to leave them with. Those people are sure a buncha head-cases, with nothing more useful or productive to do with their lives than try to regulate other peoples' reproduction. What a crock.

Christmas gifts will be practical sm [2008-10-22]
Fortunately, was able to start today but bought warm, fuzzy clothing, will put a little something to play with in with that to lessen the blow of clothes! I have grandkids and they don't want clothes. Kohls had some great lounge pants at 50% off, Guitar Hero, Mario Bros., etc. Used another 15% coupon off. The grownups are getting warm PJ's,etc., working DIL will get something to wear to work. I was poor as a kid, and I can remember getting a 16-color paint set and thought I'd hit the lottery. I went to Michaels Craft Store and bought some craft kits instead of toys today with coupons. I don't think I'll be too popular this year but I'm being practical. I know it isn't what the holiday is about and think many are going to be suffering. I can remember my mom rooting plants early on, buying white cotton cloth, and every grown up got a beautiful plant and a home-sewn apron. I know what it's like to have lean Christmases and if you can start now, you can come up with something basic if possible. I hope the house of cards does not blow down any further for us. I feel for those struggling to make ends meet, everything is affected. I will probably spend much less. Church bazaars are good for some things as well, every little bit helps. Gift for transcriptionist? HoMedica's heated rolling massager on sale, helps with the back problem and husband uses it also,best gift I ever received (aside from home made cookies and brownies). I hope some positive change is in the air for everyone so no one goes without this holiday season, especially the children.

I thought about it too. Michaels has lots of beads. Just wondered if my mature [2008-10-20]
xxxxxxxxx

50th wedding anniversary gifts [2008-10-13]
they are 68 and 66 years old - a very active, healthy couple. . the date is less than a month away - any gift ideas? It is my fiance's sister and brother-in-law and he is not good at giving gifts and asked me to come up with something.

Make sure you keep the brushes clean [2008-09-13]
My daughter couldn't figure out why her face kept breaking out. Turns out, she had never cleaned or replaced any of her brushes for a year! Ick! Once she got new brushes, skin cleared up right away.

Coffee, cereal with lots of sugar on it, and [2008-09-07]
nm

I like clean but don't like to clean (sm) [2008-08-30]
My house is cluttered and it's hard to clean or dust. When I worked at home I would wash my hands every 5 minutes or so because I was always touching dust and the sink was so convenient. Now I work outside in the dirt and I go hours without being able to wash up. I hate touching trash cans without being able to wash, but I remind myself it's just potting mix and and plant material we put in there, so I try to convince myself it's okay, LOL. I do keep handiwipes on my golf cart to use after touching really stinky, rotten dead plants. There is usually a trace of dirt under my nails now - so weird. I have to shower twice a day when it's hot.

Ouch - my husband had to come clean to me too sm [2008-08-24]
I was very upset. Physically sickened, the whole range of emotional distress. Then I realized that it wasn't just about him or about me, it was our family. The kids would really suffer. Believe me, it was no easy thing for him either. I had helped him get out of a sticky financial situation before, right after his divorce from his ex-wife. I thought everything was all good. I could not have been more wrong. So after the initial shock of it wore off, we sat down and discussed the situation. There were still tears of frustration, anger, and all of that from me but there were also some tears from him too, having taken it so far and keeping me in the dark. He knew exactly what he had risked but realized it a little too late to fix it on his own. He had no choice but to come clean. He was absolutely drowning in it but he decided it was better that I hear it from him, rather than having collection agencies start calling constantly. Your husband needs to hear it from you. Maybe if you printed these discussions and had him read through them it might ease it just a little. I wouldn't expect miracles but wouldn't you rather hear it from him if the tables were turned? Our marriage was pretty rocky before this happened too. It's still not the best but we are trying to make it work. Financial infidelity is probably as hard on a marriage as cheating. The deception and sneaking around -- trying to cover your tracks. You may not realize the exact depth of stress you are putting on yourself with trying to hide this. You said you love him. That's the biggest thing. The crud will only keep getting deeper until you start shoveling. Come clean with him and let him help you figure out what to do. Telling him the truth is going to be the hardest part. Good luck to you.

It wasn't so much that you disagree with giving adult gifts....sm [2008-08-23]
It is more the way you approached the subject, which was in my estimation very rude and hateful. That said, I do agree that a lot of people go frantic trying to buy gifts for other people who may or may not appreciate them. However, there are ways of giving that won't bust the budget. I know that I give, not so that I will receive a gift in exchage, but rather as an expression of my love for those close to me. To me, that is part of the spirit of Christmas and is representative of the first Christmas so long ago.

But obesity IS life-threatening. I type lots of that stuff - [2008-08-23]
and for the most part the psych. evaluation is more to be sure the person has not only the desire for the operation, but the support in place to help them through the difficult time afterward. It's not a walk in the park, not only is it major surgery, but there are lots of eating problems afterward. Too much food, or too much fatty or other hard-to-digest food, and they can become quite ill. They also have to begin a diet and lose a certain percentage of their weight before they get okayed for surgery. I think in part to make them safer to operate on, but also to begin to change their eating habits. After the gastric bypass, one still has to watch what they eat so as not to regain weight. But of course the bypass helps with how much they eat - because the stomach is a lot smaller. Still, if all the requirements are in place, I think for many people GP is much preferable to dying of other diseases caused by obesity. It also can make it possible for them to exercise and build up their cardiovascular system, further improving their health.

How Clean is Your House, You are What You Eat, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares sm [2008-07-26]
I love BBC America! I also love Hell's Kitchen, Dr. G, Big Medicine, Little People Big World, Deadliest Catch, South Park, etc. I love Birth Day or any other birthing shows that aren't super happy-go-lucky shows. I need to turn the TV off!

Clean house [2008-07-21]
Almost forgot my other idea - to do as Neacy on Clean House and have the family sit down and make a list of the things that routinely get done around the house and assign tasks to each person.

Once took a bucket of soapy water up to clean baseboards, etc in my SM [2008-07-12]
bedroom. Being the dainty individual I am, I tripped over the bucket and a lot of the water went on the carpet. Later I blew a fusewhen I tried to wash the dust off of the light bulb in my lamp on the nightstand. Guess I forgot the bulb was hot. I called my friends and they came over to help me. While they were there my friend was helping me vacuum. She did notknow I spilled the water earlier. All of a sudden tons of bubbles came rolling out of the bag on the vacuum.It looked so ridiculous all three of us just howled and laughed. She said . . . ONLY YOU!

I post this every holiday season and will try SM [2008-12-04]
posting again. Sigh. I have two stephchildren. One is 30 and one is 25. I actually love them like my own children. Problem is gift giving. Do you give gifts to adult stephchildren who do not give gifts to you? If they were small children or teens, of course I would buy them gifts, but they are ADULTS! Every year I post this same question and get same answers from people saying how much they LOVE buying hundreds of dollars worth of stuff for EVERYONE they know and that I shold get in the holiday spirit of buying. I don I have two grandchildren, 4 and 1-1/2, and have spent a combined $100 on their gifts. Ibuying my SIL a book. Last year, stepdaughter gave me a regifted gift card from Starbucks and stepson gave me small bag of candy (smushed carton). They don I find buying gifts for adults silly. And please, do not suggest handmade gifts. I made that mistake years ago, when I made stepdaughter handmade mosaic tile box, with velvet interior. She threw the thing out.Isthere some tactful way out?

My Opinion [2008-12-04]
I think there comes a time when exchanging gifts between adults is not necessary. I wouldjust buy for the little kids if I were you. That's what we do in our family.

Assuming your daughter is an adult, why make a difference? [2008-12-04]
a gift in return. If everyone is going to be together when gifts are exchanged, then I get them a little something, even if its a wal-mart gift card. If they will not be there when you give your daughter and SIL a gift, then I guess you could skip them. My true opinion is that adults, other than spouse and SO - do not need gifts. We do not buy the adult gifts in our family, but we have a big get together at our house and provide all the fixings and such, that is our gift.

DH and I are w/my family for lunch [2008-12-04]
and his for dinner. I have ex-aunt that still gets invited to holiday get togethers since she was married to my uncle for so long and her kids and now a grandaughter will be with us. She and a real pain in the but. Even when it is not her house she tries to dominate everything. Where everyone should sit, when we should eat, the conversation somehow always revolves around her. She will ask you a question and even before you finsih answering she is off talking about something else. We basically just roll our eyes and try to avoid her. This year she wrote a letter to my mom asking her to move her Christmas Eve plans to a different time (have been doing the same thing for years) to make it easier on her. Not going to happen. At DH I like her most of the time, but lately I have found that I just tend to tolerate her. She and I have never had any problems but I think her getting older is starting to take its toll. She and I differ anyway. Every Thanksgiving it is the same, everyone that comes brings a couple of dishes but she also does some of the cooking. She doesn This year as soon as we got there she took a hot pot off the stove and put the food into a serving dish. I decided to go ahead and wash it. The pot was extremely hot so I turned on the cold water to cool it off just a bit before I washed it. She came to the sink and turned the hot water on. I politely said I was just trying to cool if off a bit before I stuck my hands in it. No, that is not the way I do it. I was stunned. I have been married to her son for over 20 years and I always wash the dishes. I don But this year I said, well if you want me to leave these for you to do, fine. I did help clean up after dinner but I did not put my hands in any dishwater. Besides they were still a bit pruned fromcleaning upafter lunch. LOL! Btw, this is thesame woman who gives me something that she collects every year for Christmas even though I andher daughter have very politelylet herknow this is not something I want.

I'd say it depends how long you have smoked - sm [2008-12-04]
and how old you are. A friend of mine quit and went about 8 months or so, is now back to a 3-4 cigs a day due to stress, brother died (accidental drug/alcohol OD--plus he had diabetes and hepatitis), then mom got lung cancer (was still smoking at 78, 50+ years smoker, 2 heart attacks), I don't know if she quit but she had stage IV so they knew she did not have long (3 months or so). My friend is still doing the 3-4 cigs a day though she felt so much better NOT smoking. Yes she gained some weight, but she had a 3 floor walk-up apartment so that helped her some. I am hoping she will quit for good here soon. Her stress level has dropped as she moved back in with her dad (though he is not the easiest person to live with)...he wants her to have the house when he dies which is probably soon....he was terribly affected by his son and wife's deaths. Smoking sucks, plain and simple. I am a nonsmoker. I hate the smell, cannot understand how anyone can deal with stinking all the time, having a smelly home, smelly clothes, car, etc. We just stayed in a hotel last weekend, a nonsmoking room....I smelled the cig smoke the second I walked in the door, wanted another room but it was fully booked. It was not too bad but still annoyed me that I had a room, that had a balcony, where someone smoked where they were not supposed to. Sorry, ranting. ---Unless you are over 55 or so and have smoked for 30+ years I would not worry about lung cancer. My DH quit before I met him, had smoked for 12 or so years, pack a day. He is in great shape, lung cancer in his family too. He has been smoke-free for 20 years now. His lungs get sore when around lots of smoke though, and he did have pneumonia really bad right before I met him that I think did some damage (he was seriously ill for 3 weeks) to his lungs as they are very sensitive now as I said. But other than that he is healthy as a horse. Quit. Set aside the money you save and take a nice vacation next summer. You will lose your chronic cough, smell tons better, get your taste buds back, get rid of that stain on your teeth and fingers, and once all the nicotine is gone add a few years BACK onto your life. Good luck!

I have cleaned my house and now I have adjustment disorder sm [2008-12-02]
I have been working on my bathroom remodel since Memorial Day. It should have taken 4 weekends and I only just finished on Thanksgiving Day. I did 95% of myself, including cutting holes for and installing, 2 sinks in the vanity. I am pleased, it is gorgeous, but that is another story. Okay, I put my bedroom back together after 6 months of being a disheveled PIT. I am cleaning the house because my daughter will be home in a couple of weeks to get married at the JP in a nearby town. I still have to make her a dress too...but I wanted the house clean for she and her fiance/husband. It is coming along very well. My problem? I can't manage a house where I am not stepping over crap on the floor, shifting stuff around so I can get to my clothes or go to bed. This is all new to me, clean floor space and no dust, a place for everything and everything in its place...I can't cope. It is clean AND tidy, the antique linens are pressed and starched, on the surfaces. IT is lovely!!!! I am depressed now. I don't adjust well to change.

christmas gift exchange again sm [2008-12-02]
Our family has always picked names for Christmas and bought only for that person. The limit is supposed to be $25. You know how hard it is to just spend $25 especially on someone that basically has everything. In the past this had just included the adults in their 40s and 50s. Of course one felt obligated to buy the teenagers and younger children something. I Last year I spent close to $200 on Christmas. I really couldn This year my SIL presented the idea of a low cost gift or gift card (my mother hates gift cards) and playing the game of picking a number, then picking a gift, etc. Well my otherbrother and his wife, who are well off, and my mother decided they didn I told my mom I don I can Its only $25 they say. Arenmoney?Well its never just $25 and what can I buy a teenager that has everything for $25? They turned up their noses on the small gifts I gave them in the past.I also donspend more than $25 on me when I could only afford $25. I already feel inferior about my financial status in comparison to my siblings and I feel the best thing for me is to not participate. What I really loathe Christmas anymore. No one really appreciates any gifts they are given and I donI guess IWhy can Thanks for letting me vent.

gifts [2008-12-02]
There are complicated metal puzzles that are not expensive, but are very entertaining for adults and teens. I have also found extravagant adult coloring books. I think that times are changing and in the future there will be less emphasis on gifts, but for now strange and unexpected can be just as good as expensive. http://www.mindwareonline.com/MWESTORE/Home/HomePage.aspx?&SG=PMDG1

I saw on the Today Show....... [2008-12-02]
50 gifts for under $25.00. There is a link on their website Todayshow.com. I donsupposed to buy for (I personally think it is ridiculous that someone feels they can tell you who to buy for), but my teenage daughter is really into scarfs now, the kind to wear in cold weather as well as with sweaters. I found several today at Wal-mart that were just $7.00 and bought her 2. Someone also suggested movie tickets, etc. Here is our area 2 tickets would be $16.00. Not to say that isn't much, but that is an idea. For adults, get a gift bag and go to the dollar store and buy things that will be used. Magnetic note pads for the fridge, candles, chip clips, etc. I find this such a fun bag to go through...we have done this in my family for years. I know some may frown on this, I don't know your family, but we all have so much fun seeing the neat things that can be found in a $1.00 store and thinking, Yes I can certainly use this. Hope this helps a bit.

we also make a quick [2008-12-02]
salmon soup....drain most the juice, add about 2 tbl of butter to the meat in the pan, salt, pepper, and then add a can or so of milk and heat. eat with saltines crushed in it too. lots of omegas, warm, quick and tasty.

Is it necessary to see a doctor if you've got mono [2008-12-01]
From what I read (doing the Internet doctor thing ) there's nothing medicinal they can give you for it, so why bother going to the doctor in the first place? Everything I've read says all you can do is treat the symptoms - take Tylenol, get lots of rest and fluids, gargle with salt water for sort throat, etc.

My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays [2008-12-01]
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.

fake since - sm [2008-12-01]
Christmas in ND in 1992 and cats not staying out of the tree no matter what, drinking all the water, chewing on the needles. Went to fake and up to 9 feet tall now and really no problems at all even if there is a kitten at Christmas time. Such a difference at our house going from real to fake. Plus, no zillion needs to clean up. I do miss the fragrance, but it was either the cats or the real tree and the cats won! :-)

Tinea Versicolor? [2008-12-01]
Three months ago I moved during a hot, humid 2-day period using a car w/o AC. I wore a very uncomfortable underwire bra because it was the only clean one that had not been packed up. I developed an irritation under my arms that I attributed to that irritation from the bra and being sweaty. It has itched and burned forall thistime, sometimes getting a little better. Now I I Is this what you think it is and is there some over-the-counter treatment (tea tree oil, Selsun shampoo/lotion, etc.) that would help this or should I just go on to the doctor? Thanks for any help or personal experience!

e-bay [2008-12-01]
Since VR is taking the wind out of my income, I I live in an area with lots of retirees who might want to sell some things, but mightbe a little computer-phobic. Does anyone do this or know of anyone else who does it and whether it might be a lucrative business or a train wreck waiting to happen? Also, would a business license be required? Thanks for any input or opinions.

I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm [2008-11-30]
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles. We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time! I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that. But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother. Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.

This is what it is really all about.. [2008-11-30]
We all have a little bit of that Christmas excitement as well the true reason for the season even as adults. My Dad used to wrap things like Smiths Brothers cough drops, dominoes that he had lying around, peanuts, a bar of soap, an old deck of cards, a candy bar, and things like this... Well my SIL (my older brother Now granted my Mom would get things from Avon and give us as well, but these little things from my Dad would cause all of this giggling and laughing and thanks Dad; I really need these cough drops. He just got a kick out of it for sure and so did we. RIP: Mom and Dad (2006/1995,respectively). We miss those gifts!

I'm sure some of your relatives are feeling sm [2008-11-30]
the same horrible crunch. Feel them out gently. Together you can approach the insensitive members of your family. Instead of saying you won say you can instead. It's the sign of the times, and not a reflection on you. You can have a very merry and wonderful Christmas without gifts. It's love that makes Christmas Christmas! Merry Christmas to you and all the other posters and readers!

2 problems with hubby - any advice??? [2008-11-30]
Problem #1: His hearing. He will not go to the doctor, complains to me all the time that he can not hear me and talks SO loud. I can't tell him anything in the stores or I might as well announce it over the loud speaker which in turn creates an argument (hence, miserable day out shopping yesterday). Problem #2:I dread this time of year with him. He turns into this greedy person that is beyond comprehension for me. Every time he opens his mouth it I always grew up being thankful for what I got and can I never ask for items for Christmas - I appreciate the thoughtfulness that a person puts into getting me something (even if it I also believe the kids come first (3, 2 of which are teenagers) and we buy for them first but it seems I always have to budget my money for the kids and then for him. He does not like inexpensive items either. The last few months I'm the only one who has bought gifts for the kids - he hasn't spent any of his money and is counting on a bonus from his employer that may or may not come through and you never know how much it's going to be. Sorry - and thanks for letting me vent. I've been so stressed lately.

Men [2008-11-30]
I think his quality of life would go up if he'd be willing to see an audiologist and have his hearing evaluated. There are a lot of new technologies on the market these days. They will usually allow a person to take a device home for a trial before purchase. But it sounds like he doesn't want to admit his body is aging. He still wants to act like a kid and spend money on toys instead of health. My hubby is 50, and is just now realizing sometimes expensive electronics just aren't in a real-world budget. I haven't cared about gifts since I was a kid. I found gifts very disappointing and giving them a lot of work, so thank goodness we only buy for nieces and nephews now and all the adults go without. It had just become a silly exchange of gift cards anyway.

I feel exactly the same. I am very depressed and [2008-11-29]
anxious now about everything and don I have to find a way to tell my nieces, etc. that I am not buying gifts this year, but it is hard. My mom is elderly and ill and things are not right for it this year. Good luck to you.

Gift Giving [2008-11-29]
I just got married in July 2008, bought a new home, and am now expecting my third child in April 2009 so we ourselves have had many blessings this year but our financial situation is also pretty tight. We will not be buying gifts for anyone but our children. Our family will receive homemade treats this year. We still like to do something nice for them because they have done so much for us this year and every year but we don't have a lot of money to play with. In my case, we take care of our obligations (bills, our children, etc.) before we worry about gifts. We feel that providing our children with things that need and the love that they deserve is more important than any material gift will ever be. Our family understands our situation and is very happy just to spend the holidays with us without the expectation of a gift because honestly the quality time with family is the biggest gift we could give each other. In my opinion, you should just explain the situation to them and let them know that you will not be giving gifts this year. They may take it hard but they will get over it. You have to do what you have to do. Gifts aren't the real reason for the Christmas season anyhow. Good luck to you!

You need to take care of your [2008-11-29]
bills first and not worry about giving gifts. Explain to your family that you will not be giving gifts this year and you expect nothing in return. They may not like it but they will get over it. If they ask questions about what you do with your money (which really is none of their business)just answer them with the economy being so bad you are unable to give gifts. I would hope they understand as everybody is going through it right now. You may feel uncomfortable, but at least you will be able to sleep and not worry whether your bills will be paid or not. Stand firm on this and DO NOT feel guilty as there is no reason to be. I have also chosen not to exchange gifts this year as I cannot do it. I was surprised that my brother was relieved. Everybody is feeling the crunch. I wish you much luck!

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

you sound like me - [2008-11-29]
for the past couple of years, I have said, let's forget the gifts and just spend the day together at my mom's house -- but oh no, that would be horrible if we did not buy presents. This year, my sister's husband lost his job and now it's automatic, we are not going to be buying gifts. I always wonder, why is it that one person in the family always seems to make the decisions for everybody else?