Does anyone understand dreams...

I understand your feelings [2008-12-03]
My in-laws woncut back which means what exactly???? I don't know. I didn't grow up with big Christmas presents and all that...family and dinner was emphasized. It makes me wish xmas was just another day. We can't afford it this year but when trying to talk to anyone about it they act like we have no head. If you want to participate, I would do the flat $25 in a gift card for dinner or groceries and leave it at that. How can they get upset when you stick to the agreement. If they don't like your choice, that's too bad. Maybe they shouldn't participate next year if they have such high standards.

Understand completely (see message) [2008-12-03]
This time of year is sad, canHospice or nursing home,you can Anything is minute compared to this disease, cutting off your fingers would be easier! Never smoked but transcribed a university study on it, some buried their butts, froze them, couldn't quit. So I am on a mission, I guess! There has to be a better way, I do have compassion but passion to help others see the reality of what it does to you.

me, too. Chantix is giving me the wildest dreams [2008-12-03]
i have quit so many times it i get the nicotine gum -- 170 pieces 30 bucks. works pretty good, but then i loose it --again. never quit quittin'

I understand, it's a part of you. You're normal! [2008-11-23]
...

I understand SO much what you are saying. [2008-11-22]
nm

Mine hit 50% for me. So long, retirement dreams! [2008-11-21]

I don't think I understand [2008-11-20]
so just let him do whatever, support his decisions, and hope for the best? He has a good job it is just that so much of it is eaten by the attorneys, support, transportation, and crazy things the ex dreams up that the child must have and we are told we just have to pay it. It costs more than what I make to cover the mandatory expenses of my step-child. I gave up our finances about a year ago to give him a taste of what it was like. Stupidly thinking this would help. Obviously it hasn't but has made things worse. I always reassure him and tell him we will get through it, etc. but when he asks me to make a decision I tell him honestly. Recently asking if I mind if his teenage nephews come stay for the weekend I ask where is the extra money going to come from to feed them and get them to/from work as its an hour round trip. I offer maybe just one night instead of the entire weekend. Automatically thatthey asked for the weekend. He says he doesn't know where the money will come from and he won't ask the his brother either and asks me to call and tell them no. Of course when I refuse I can tell he gets upset although he won't say it. We don't argue about stuff its just more of one of us getting pi$$ed off until it blows over and then starting again the following week when another circumstance comes up. Honestly, I'm just getting tired of putting up. It has been nearly 10 years now but only 4 since our finances went together. We are also expecting a child, which we could afford before the last 6 months came crashing down on us. Of course this is part of my anxiety over finances but being a man and his usual self he wants to live in la-la land until we don't have money to buy diapers. I'm just so frustrated. Thanks for listening and letting me know that there is hope things will change. Atleast I know when the step-child becomes an adult it will be like winning the lottery!

I understand percentiles - sm [2008-11-11]
I am well aware of what the standard IQ percentiles are. The Bell Curve states that the 95th percentile begins at an IQ of 126 (going by IQ averages in the general population), and it stops measuring at 150, anyone in126-150 range is labeledvery bright. Mensa is a club that only accepts thehighest percentiles - its for the cream of the cream. According to Mensa, one might attempt to pass their test if one IQs higher than 150 are very difficult to measure, and there are so few people in that range it would take too much effort to develop a test difficult enough to prove just what their number is, therefore being able to pass Mensasmart that anybody would need, and it sure looks good on a resume, it certainly got my ex a lot of job interviews.Unfortunately his lack of a driverkept him from getting the jobs. Years ago, one of myhobbies was pursuading my friends to take a proven accurate test and share their results with me. I managed to talk quite a few into it, and I was happily surprised to find that several of them were Mensa material, although simply by observing their lifestyles, I never would have guessed it. A couple of them were factory workers.You may find very intelligent people in any profession, as it is much easier to disguiseintelligence than the lack of it. I don't think its impossible that someone with an IQ of 145-150 is posting on this board, or is an MT, if that's what you're asking.

I totally understand how you feel...sm [2008-11-10]
I too felt that way until I came to know some pits. I realized they acted like any other dog. I won't lie. All pits can be dangerous because of their capabilities. But I know many owners who have never had problems with this breed including my dad and great grandfather. Mine is just a big hunk of love. Hes nothing like you would think when you think of a pitbull. He is so tenderhearted. To me, he is just CJ, my heart. I think you have a right to your feelings but I have a right to mine and I love this dog and in my heart I know he would not hurt me or my family. He has had so many opportunities to kill when attacked by smaller dogs and he never did. Many times he would just walk off and look pitiful.

You do not understand.....sm [2008-11-10]
what 99.6 percentile means. I explained it in my former post. It means that she scored higher than 99.6 percent of all people who took the test and only 0.4 percent scored higher than her. That means an IQ of above 150. Do you believe this? Einstein' was 165. Average is 100. Below 70 is mentally challenged.

I understand that your dog loves you, [2008-11-08]
but your dog is a pit bull and they can attack spontaneously whether they are provoked or not. There is no way to predict it. Why risk someone's life? I don I would never, however,choose a breed that is known to be unpredictable and dangerous and could maim or kill someone I love or a stranger walking down the street were I too slow to close the door or forget to close a gait securelyand an accident occur. There are lots of breeds that demonstrate the kind of dedication and love that you describe. My mom has a mixed dog (Pyrenees/St. Bernard) who is a genuine companion to her. She is obedient and trustworthy and gentle. You can get a dog who genuinely loves you who is not a pit bull. I truly hope you never encounter a time when your dog misconstrues your actions andyou trigger some instinct that tells her she is in danger, or that you are in danger from another person. Tragedy could strike so quickly.

I understand, believe me! [2008-11-07]
Here's what I do during those company-coming crises! Make a list of all I want done. Break it down into weekly tasks. Meter the weekly tasks out and include ALL FAMILY MEMBERS -- they all live there and dirty it up, they can all help clean it up! Just start now and do a countdown. You can get it done. Organization will help immensely.

I understand, believe me! [2008-11-07]
They're not helping? Oooooo, no meals cooked, laundry done or picking up after them, then! Kids big enough to walk to/from school? Let 'em if they're not willing to help. Until they start helping me, I'm not helping them! A functioning family unit is not where the papa makes some money and comes home and does what he wants while the kids go to school and come in and do what they want while mama works, cleans, cooks, does the housework, shopping and carting kids around and never gets to do what she wants! Nope, nope, nope! Be strong!! MAKE them do it! Otherwise, schedule your dinner at a local restaurant and meet everyone there! AND DON'T TAKE ANYONE WHO REFUSED TO HELP!! Hot dogs for them on Turkey Day! LOL

Just want you to know I understand completely where sm [2008-10-29]
you are coming from and agree totally that it is terribly, terribly sad. I just don't want you to harp on it and let it work on you. You have done nothing wrong. Stand proud. They are entitled to their opinions - strange as they are - they are not entitled to spew them all over the place and say hurtful stupid things to you - just shows how mixed up they are. You sister was right in telling you to let it go - they are strange - weird - you are blessed your husband is so different. Give him a hug and ignore the rest of them. Good luck!

I think I understand where you are coming from [2008-10-21]
but please know that I am not some sort of angry person that bans MIL from seeing our child. These issues have gone on for about 7 years and we have tried to be logical and kind to her but she just doesn't get the message. I don't think its her place to talk about s*x with or around my child, nor do I think it is her place to talk about Santa in front of him, as he still believes. It is a shame that some feel they have to protect a child from a grandparent but hey, you can't always trust your family. It's sad. You do, however, have to protect your child and their innocence - that's your job as a parent. My child still has contact with his granparents, it is just limited and in a long distance situation, many kids do not see their grandparents but once a year so I don't see this being detrimental to the relationship to prove a point that otherwise goes unnoticed. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, as you said, IMHO, and I don't want anyone to get the idea that I was endorsing cutting all ties.

I think I understand sm [2008-10-21]
The Bible thing hits home with me, I go through it all the time, some of my family carries it in their car and they believed they are saved and I am not. Unfortunately, I have been victimized the other way around, DILfound the right path, I am Catholic and not saved and have noticed an almost but not complete banning such as not answering my calls, etc., even though I have in the past been a savior during hard times and itraw when it comes to this subject. I think back to when I resented my MIL and feel I am being punished but I truly do not deserve this, I never discuss religion, etc., my grandkids love me and I am tired of the excuses because they are hurting, they actually tell me theynewly-found Bible-based new testament. I have stopped going to church myself and am I know if I were told not to behave in a certain way, believe me, I would bend over backwards to play by the rules. I am just being given the cold shoulder I donsilent war and being pushed out, so don't listen to me, I'm in too much pain and I should take myself out of the equation. Good luck with everything, your kids don't need this swearing on the Bible thing, it's not normal. I pray that your Mom sees the light and loves the kids enough to change her ways. I''m just sad about my own situation. This shouldn't happen to a dog. But it did.

I completely understand...sm [2008-10-13]
I am scrambling tonight trying to get some lines in because my work has been so slow I only worked 14 hours Monday until Friday. This weekend I got about 63 minutes of dictation so that will add some lines. I have to scramble to work about 20-25 hours per week.

I don't understand how people were dumb enough [2008-09-25]
x

After reading your most recent post I understand where you are coming from better (sm) [2008-09-21]
You are in a very difficult position...I feel bad for you and both of the children. It is tough to say what would be better. Being taken from your parents would be very traumatic for children as well. There must be some sort of child care they can find that they can afford.

I understand you - thanks for your post [2008-09-18]
It is a hard thing to go through (both for the person going through it the and person who lives with the person going through it). I think its at this time we ask ourselves - is there more to life, what is our goal in life, etc. You do sound like my DH. We have talked many times about left-sided and right-sided brain people. I think you are probably like him (artistic, sees things in picture form, and doesnlive a certain way (that is get the job, build your retirement, buy a house, have kids, etc, etc and headaptable. I go whereever and make things work. I have the attitude of whatever happens happens, nothing is forever, and adapt. I guess maybe because Iis this all there is to life, I doubt it was a crisis - if so probably the shortest midlife crisis in history (lasted about 5 hours). HA HA HA. On the positive side of it we have talked extensively and I know herock for him. Yesterday he told me I'm lucky becauase I know what I wanted and stuck with it (MT school and MT jobs). I told him the job does get very tiring and there are a lot of times when I don't think my fingers will type another word (yeah, so I come to this website and type more HA HA HA). Today he joked and said maybe I ought to go back to school and get retrained doing something else because at least I stick with it. Anyway...hopefully he'll find something. He did start going over his resume so it may be a step.

To be brief, while I can understand curiosity.. [2008-09-16]
about me, etc, I should be the one who decides if contact is going to happen. This person found me through the internet, knows way too much about me thanks to the internet, wants a relationship, which is fine by me but it should be on my terms. I have been open and honest with everyone who knows me, never had a problem with giving a child up for adoption, it was never a secret in my family. The daughter I gave up contacts me through email a couple of times a year, gets angry when she doesn't hear what she thinks she should hear and then disappears for months at a time. She is very vague on info about hersefl, but she knows everything about me, including my address, etc. I certainly don't want a pop in visit without some warning!

I don't understand. Do you want to [2008-09-12]
leave him or stay with him. Sounds like you are miserable there. Maybe he was thinking the same thing and just afraid to be the first one to bring it up. If you are going to stay with him, then things have to change on BOTH sides.

I understand. No matter how bad things are, there sm [2008-09-12]
is thought they could get better. The love you once shared could be brought back and you wil live happily ever after. See a marriage counselor. It may happen; it may not happen, but get some professional help.

I totally understand your frustration sm [2008-09-11]
but 900 parents in a timely fashion? I used to sub in a small elementary school (average #of students 200) and it was still a huge headache when there was a problem (schools closing early due to flooding). Most parents of course knew about the flooding because they lived in the area but it was still total chaos. In our area the TV runs a crawl across the bottom of the screen announcing when a school is closing early. I know that we as parents are not responsible for watching TV for in case info, but I think in the case of a fire I am not sure I would want people staying in the building to look at paperwork.

i can understand your frustration sm [2008-09-10]
i have a 1st grader anda 4th grader. 4th grade is a little more strict than what i expected. they have homework every night except friday nights. monday he had homework in every single subject. i think it i weighed his backpack and it was 15 pounds. it might not sound like much, but it is heavy. it sounds like the teacher is being way too picky. if you have problems and they keep on, i would definitely talk with the teacher. we pay their paychecks. good luck.

That's not true. I've tried to quit 6 times [2008-12-04]
in the past 5 years. I made it for 3 weeks by being cooped up in my house while everyone else was having fun in the garage. But DH had an important phone call he had to take, so I braved it and went up to tell him. Just the whiff of smoke did it for me. Back on them. I tried cold turkey, the patch, herbal supplements, and even hypnotism. Ichew gum. Itired of hearing from me. I don't have a PMD, so I can't get an Rx. My DH quit 16 years ago by throwing his pack out the car window as we were driving. He is so kind to me because I haven't been able to quit. He never harps on quitting. He understands. He's seen me go through withdrawal and it's not pretty. My son and his wife quit when she became pregnant. He used Chantix and also had the wildest dreams so went off them after 3 weeks, but he hasntouched up a cigarette since and being around people who smoke doesn't bother him. I guess I I whish the best for everyone who wants to quit and hope you all make it. I've stopped trying.

i didnt mean to come off harsh [2008-12-04]
i just dont understand and that is simply because i have never been a smoker I dont think anyone should ever start because it is addictive and I am aware of that, but there are also other ways to quit. i just was saying it doesn't sound like you really care.... which is completely your choice.

can't stand the..... [2008-12-04]
GEICO caveman commercials... I just don't get it... ...especially the one where the caveman and his chick are on the beach with the metal detector and he finds keys with a GEICO key fob and tosses down his equipment, then the girlfriend picks it all up for him... yeah.. in his DREAMS!! LOL

I'd say it depends how long you have smoked - sm [2008-12-04]
and how old you are. A friend of mine quit and went about 8 months or so, is now back to a 3-4 cigs a day due to stress, brother died (accidental drug/alcohol OD--plus he had diabetes and hepatitis), then mom got lung cancer (was still smoking at 78, 50+ years smoker, 2 heart attacks), I don't know if she quit but she had stage IV so they knew she did not have long (3 months or so). My friend is still doing the 3-4 cigs a day though she felt so much better NOT smoking. Yes she gained some weight, but she had a 3 floor walk-up apartment so that helped her some. I am hoping she will quit for good here soon. Her stress level has dropped as she moved back in with her dad (though he is not the easiest person to live with)...he wants her to have the house when he dies which is probably soon....he was terribly affected by his son and wife's deaths. Smoking sucks, plain and simple. I am a nonsmoker. I hate the smell, cannot understand how anyone can deal with stinking all the time, having a smelly home, smelly clothes, car, etc. We just stayed in a hotel last weekend, a nonsmoking room....I smelled the cig smoke the second I walked in the door, wanted another room but it was fully booked. It was not too bad but still annoyed me that I had a room, that had a balcony, where someone smoked where they were not supposed to. Sorry, ranting. ---Unless you are over 55 or so and have smoked for 30+ years I would not worry about lung cancer. My DH quit before I met him, had smoked for 12 or so years, pack a day. He is in great shape, lung cancer in his family too. He has been smoke-free for 20 years now. His lungs get sore when around lots of smoke though, and he did have pneumonia really bad right before I met him that I think did some damage (he was seriously ill for 3 weeks) to his lungs as they are very sensitive now as I said. But other than that he is healthy as a horse. Quit. Set aside the money you save and take a nice vacation next summer. You will lose your chronic cough, smell tons better, get your taste buds back, get rid of that stain on your teeth and fingers, and once all the nicotine is gone add a few years BACK onto your life. Good luck!

You're not a hopeless case! sm [2008-12-04]
Each day is a new beginning. Donvictor not you can get some help there. You are the victim. You are worth the effort. Some pills do cause nightmares, try Benadryl at night. I thus the need to relax, I understand, please don't give up. If you don't have a PCP, try a walk-in clinic or the pharmacist, you never know, they may have some good advice. Think of the $$$ you will save, use it to pamper yourself and your self-image will improve. You can do it, baby steps at a time. Remember, every day is a new start.

You absolutely did the right thing! [2008-12-02]
I have a nephew who is turning 21 soon. This reminds me so much of him. His grandmother bails him out of trouble time and time again - but does he learn anything from his mistakes? Nope. Not one thing. It is a cycle that has to be broken. I only hope that it will be broken before he is also in his 40s like your stepdaughter. I am also a stepmom so I can understand your dilema there and the hurtful things that might be said, etc. But step or bio, everyone in my family knows my philosophy: I understand that everyone makes mistakes and slips up but when it comes to being in jail, hurting another family member, or taking advantage of someone - I won't participate in the least. Just know in your heart that you did the right thing for her in the long run. She can be mad, upset, maybe even make hurtful comments but if that's the case she can just as easily ask one of her bioparents as she can ask you.

I absolutely can not stand when someone..sm [2008-12-02]
here just throws out there get a divorce. Divroce is not always the answer and not always that easy. I have a very good marriage and our DS is graduating this year. If DH wanted to attend something else instead I would let him, but I guarantee the locks would be changed when he returned. I am sorry that this is a problem for you, I get along quite well with my family as well as my in-laws so I donmy son so I guess he is not the biological son of your husbands. Always put your children first. If other family members don't make it to the graduation, so be it. I understand the hurt, but once again just be there for your child and to He!! with the others.

These 10 things definitely ain't right: [2008-12-01]
1) MTSOs who want people with top-notch skills and experience, but don't want to pay them what that skill is worth. 2) HMO's: So-called *health-maintenance-organizations* --yet they spend every minute and every dime of their far-too-large profits on denying healthcare, meds and procedures to their patients. These organizations have ruined American healthcare, and many American lives. HMO's have been a con-game since their inception. 3) The Bailouts: Giving money to companies who can too bad for the rest of you.* Then the Big Three show up in DC to beg for a handout, and fly there in private Lear jets. My answer to them would be, *I too bad for the rest of you.* 4) Apartment managers that won't allow even a single quiet, well-behaved pet, but will rent to people with continually screaming small children, and out-of-control older children and teens. Give me the pets for neighbors, ANY day. 5) Businesses that give an age-discount to absolutely everything that walks, runs or flies, but not to the middle-aged middle-class, who need it the most. Take the ski-industry: Young children ski for next-to-nothing, and sometimes nothing. There is a Teen Discount. There is a Student Discount for college kids. There I'll probably never be old enough - it's a carrot-on-a-stick, always just out of reach.) There are even corporate (UGH) discounts. But for those in my age group, who barely make ends meet but like to go up once a year for a couple days of bliss, there is NOTHING. 6) Travel-lodging deals that are always based on double or quadruple occupancy. What about singles? NOTHING. 7) TV commercials that are about a million decibels louder than the regular shows. Why can't it all be the same volume? Same with online newscasts. THEIR commercials will blow your eardrums out if you aren't quick enough turning down the volume before they start. 8) Surround-sound: Everything is too loud, already! Why do we need it coming at us from 4 directions? Why do people living in tiny apartments feel they need it? I've lost count of how many fights I've had with neighbors over this issue. Same with movies and music concerts. Why do they feel we need to feel the music in our SPLEENS? I went to Universal Amphitheater last week. (Now named something else). There is actually a sign outside warning that the decibel level inside might damage your hearing! (?!?!?!) Why do they need this? (To avoid lawsuits, obviously). If it's so loud you have to post a warning sign outside the entrance, then DUH.... it's TOO LOUD! 9) Banks that charge you a fee to use their ATM. They (I haven't actually been INSIDE a bank in YEARS).... and they want to charge US for using the machines instead of the tellers? Forget it. I won't give those banks my business. 10) The Post Office: Talk about rewarding slow, inept performance! The worse their employees are, the longer they seem to stay there. I'd rather have a root canal than go to a P.O. during the holiday season.

You need to take care of your [2008-11-29]
bills first and not worry about giving gifts. Explain to your family that you will not be giving gifts this year and you expect nothing in return. They may not like it but they will get over it. If they ask questions about what you do with your money (which really is none of their business)just answer them with the economy being so bad you are unable to give gifts. I would hope they understand as everybody is going through it right now. You may feel uncomfortable, but at least you will be able to sleep and not worry whether your bills will be paid or not. Stand firm on this and DO NOT feel guilty as there is no reason to be. I have also chosen not to exchange gifts this year as I cannot do it. I was surprised that my brother was relieved. Everybody is feeling the crunch. I wish you much luck!

I feel exactly the same way. [2008-11-29]
When my siblings and I started having kids, we agreed not to buy for each other's families. That has worked out fine. This year, we have NO money. Even though we still have our same jobs, it seems like more money is going out than is coming in. I don't quite understand where the money is going myself, try explaining that to family. I would just like to completely forget Christmas this year. I would even volunteer to work to get out of it. Don't feel bad about being bitter. I find myself getting tired of having no money and having to explain why we can't do the things we used to do all the time. I've started preparing the kids for Christmas, telling them it is going to be real skimpy around here. They are old enough to understand but whether they believe me is another thing.

LOL It went well. Thank you to everyone for helping! [2008-11-28]
I felt bad because none of the friends or extended family that she invited showed up. They all called to cancel. We did not have leftover Turkey but plenty of desert and rolls. She bought 45 dinner rolls?! I think some of you are right that this is the beginning of sundowning for them. I will have to explain this to my husband because he just thinks they are losing their minds. I heard from another family member that MIL has a stash of a case candy bars in her closet and yesterday she went in the bedroom for cookie sheets to put the biscuits on. A little odd, especially being that they have extra storage area in the basement. I think FIL took it as it was just that much less food that cost him money because he was so happy that I brought as much food as I did and kept saying how much he loved the veggie tray, etc. I think MIL was a little miffed when I got there because she didnstay the heck out of my kitchen and keep your opinion to your self and afterwards he gets the look of You have always been my favorite child, thank you LOL But I understand things are different with moms and their own kids versus the spouse, especially with females. So overall it turned out well and everyone had plenty to eat. We didn't have to run out for burgers or home for dinner.

My sisters and nieces and nephews and I stopped [2008-11-28]
exchanging gifts several years ago. My mom and dad and my family stopped exchanging gifts a couple of years ago. This year, my 2 grown children and my husband and I agreed to keep Christmas very, very simple. One gift each. No big major spending. We havea new grandson who is a week old and, of course, he will receive gifts from us, but, even for him the spending will be kept to a minimum this year Maybe you need to just tell your family that you They may not understand, but you should not have to stress about such a beautiful time of the year. I know that I am actually looking forward to the holidays for the first time in a long time because I We are by no means rich people, but we do have what we need and a lot of what we want. There is really nothing that any of us needs. We are truly blessed.

I have 3 dogs [2008-11-28]
My newest addition is a dauchshound puppy. I got her back in March (or maybe April - can Anyway, she is now 9 months old and all puppy. She is relentless with my other 2 dogs, especially my little Maltese who is 7 years old. Just runs around her, nipping at her tail, and racing away. I know she And she doesn So, when you have had this situation, how do you stop it? How do I get this puppy to understand that she needs to stop this behavior? Other then this annoying habit of hers, she's a wonderful, funny, loving little girl!

Holidays are hard [2008-11-26]
My parents were divorced so my sister and I spent many years shuffling between two houses. When we each got married and had our own families the situation got even more complex. My parents are now deceased and my sister and I are estranged (even though we live in the same town), so in some ways life has gotten simpler. I still get very emotional and depressed around the holidays because of my dysfunctional childhood and negative expectations, but I don't have as much guilt and stress anymore. My husband's parents and family are back in our hometown 600 miles away, and for the last few years he's gone back there for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with our youngest child. I don't begrudge him that because his folks are elderly and I don't want him to have any regrets later. I can't go with him because we have a lot of animals to take care of, and frankly, I'm really comfortable just hanging out at home with them anyway. We have adult kids too, and two grandchildren, and I encourage all of them to live their lives without the burden of guilt and feelings of obligation. If they can come by and have dinner or visit that's great, and if not BIG DEAL. Honestly, it's just a day. Things got easier for us when we realized we didn't necessarily have to celebrate a holiday on the exact day it was scheduled. I really understand your not wanting to let your mom down, and I would feel the same way. Your husband is a big boy and has made a choice, so that's on him, not you. He's probably being a bit immature and stubborn on this one. I hope you'll extend the invitation to your husband one more time, then go to your mom's and enjoy yourself whether he comes along or not.

You know sometimes my husband doesn't want to go to my family things either... [2008-11-26]
and I have learned that if he doesn't want to go, don't be mad, just go without him...It is better to go alone then have to sit there with him while he is moping about being there. I understand your frustration and maybe your husband knows something will set him off and start a fight and he doesn't want to do that to you. Maybe he is really thinking of your feelings.

Try to work an earlier shift. Your [2008-11-26]
daughter should be able to keep herself busy with homework, chores, etc, until you get done working. Then when you aren You don She will just have to understand. But I would let her have her time with her friends when you are off. It will be less distracting for you and you won't have to jump up to see what is going on.

I think what you did was great. [2008-11-25]
I'm sorry it turned out that way. You are right, most kids don't play board games or card games any more and lack imagination and development that is necessary for school. I think you can have a mix of both but sadly many parents don't uphold guidelines in their household and it's easier for them to let the TV/video games babysit their children. It is also sad that they are acting so childish when you are grown adults with children of your own. I wouldn't make any effort to be around them or be friendly any further. The mom of the birthday boy, maybe invite her to coffee or a playplace for the kids, just the 2 of you and get to know her better. I can understand that and think it would help her to see what a good person you are and make her own opinion despite what the others may or may not say to her. If she doesn't seem receptive, let it go. You can't control what happens at school but keep your eyes and ears open. If there are any problems that develop between the 2 friends at school, I would address it with the teacher.

Agree with old part-timer [2008-11-25]
what's done is done. Is it worth the argument? He won't understand. Get it back, talk to him and let him know next time you would appreciate if he asked you first or asked them to come back when you are home. I would even ask him how he would like you to proceed which such a request of his things in his absence. He may not admit it but I bet he'll think about it later. If you are going to argue about something, make sure its worth the strain on your marriage.

How far away is your mom's? [2008-11-25]
Would it be possible to have Thanksgiving dinner at home with your husband and then go to your mom I think that your husband is your first priority. If he doesn If you can tell he wants you to stay home, then I think you should stay with him and see if you can visit your mom a little later in the day. I Both my husband Some things we work through, some things we can

First off, you're pregnant [2008-11-24]
that in itself will make this situation feel 10 times worse than it is. Having said that, I do agree that I would be a little miffed, myself. It She I would also agree with the poster below that you have grown apart. Being that you Ifun years before I got married and then before I had children. You're just at different places in your life. The best way to handle the situation is to go to her party as planned. I would not splurge for the $50 gift card. I If youwild days. You don Anyone would understand a pregnant woman would be tired from such a long travel and then the party. When you leave, be sure to seek her out and let her know that you If not, let it go. If you haven Believe it or not, some people would think they didn You have so much to look forward to and baby showers are way better than bridal showers/receptions anyday. You can eat as much as you want and all your guests will say is how cute you look. Don

My opinion [2008-11-24]
While on some level I agree with the others about having a giving nature, I understand where you are coming from completely. I am not really a material girl, but some things I would rather not lend, at least not without being able to explain how to care for the item. I mean, if I paid for it, and I am by no means rich or even the slightest bit well off, I do not want to have to save up my money to purchase another of the same thing that I would have kept in good condition for life, and I shouldnI usually use a fork too, but DH just bought these and offered her a large plastic cooking fork. She just explained that she wasn't going to scratch it and kept right on doing what she was doing. People oftentimes do not care when it is not theirs. Sorry so long, guess it hit a nerve. I have so many of these it wasn' theirs so they didn't care stories I could just go on and on. It is annoying.

Wow! Was a nerve hit??? [2008-11-24]
I didnLeave it to Beaver. That's just not the case. By the end of the 1960s and into the 1970s the pendulum had started to swing so far toward women having careers that we were often belittled for choosing to be home with the children. Remember Hillary Clinton's cookie baking comment during her husband's first campaign? In fact, stay-at-home moms were the norm for only one brief period in our history right after WW II in the post war boom times. There was a pretty awful recession in the 1970s, and I remember gas rationing and long lines at the pumps. My mother had to work two jobs, and my father, who was in construction, was often one of the first to feel economic ups and downs in his paycheck. But we had dinner together every night at the kitchen table. Before the stay-at-home mothers of 1950's t.v. fame, most mothers worked. They had to. Only the very privileged stayed home and waited for Ward Cleaver to come home from the office. My grandmother, who lived to be 94, God bless her soul, was born in 1908. Her mother died during the great Spanish flu epidemic in 1918. My grandmother was the eldest of four children, and at the age of 10 she became the woman of the house. She stopped going to school so that she could cook and clean and took care of her father and siblings. And no one thought that was wrong. It was expected because there really weren't any government social services -- no welfare, no foster care. Eventually, when her father's depression over the loss of his wife became so great that he couldn't manage to bring home an income, people in the neighborhood just took over. The two eldest children went to live with other families. The two youngest went to an orphanage. My grandmother's father just drifted away and his children never saw him again. My grandmother married at age 20 and had four children during the depression. Talk about having it hard. When I was a young mother trying to make ends meet and I'd cry to my grandmother, she brought me around to reality. She told me what it was like for her to raise children during that time. Many a night she cried over whether or not she could even feed her children or if they would have a roof over their heads. And she wasn't alone. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was in the same boat. The Great Depression was enormous. She and my grandfather worked wherever and whenever they could. They brought home a dollar or two at a time and fed their children buttermilk and potatoes. They didn't sleep, they worried all the time. Today, my grandmother's washboard hangs in my kitchen on the wall next to my dishwasher. It reminds me that I have no right to ever say that things are harder on us today. They aren't. Generally speaking, most Americans have so many more advantages, choices and opportunities than those who came before us. Yet many in my generation and the one or two generations behind me are just whiners and crybabies who don't think about the big picture. They even dare to say they have a harder time as parents today. Please. Not even close! Every generation seems to believe that, but just a short trip through a history book proves otherwise. I'm not that very old. But I've raised my children and I raised them well. I know what it takes to do that. It takes self-discipline, sacrifice and consistency. And you know what? That's exhausting. Parents today are tired. So what? All parents are tired. Offer it up, as the old nuns used to say. The kids have homework an hour a night. So what? They should have homework, and parents should make sure that it gets done, because education is important. There are parent-teacher meetings to attend, coaches association meetings, scout meetings, dance lessons, school recitals, etc. etc. etc. So what? Balance it out, quit what can't be done, do what can. Work because you have to. The kids have to be fed. It's still easier than it was a generation ago, two generations ago, three and on and on. We're parents to young ones for only a short time. Which reminds me, let's not forget about birth control. Most of us have 2-point-whatever children these days. I'm the youngest of 7. Most of the families in my neighborhood when I was growing up had 4 or more children. Today women can choose to have as many or as few children as they want. That means that we parent for far fewer years than the generations before us. I'm done with day-to-day parenting after just 20 years, and in fact, it got much easier on my day-to-day schedule once my boys were in high school. But my mother had children at home for 34 years. Imagine the number of cloth diapers for 7 children for year after year after year. Yes. I had it far easier, and I know it. So when I was exhausted raising my two boys, I just sucked it up and kept at it. The OP, I think, probably didn't want to be as blunt as I'm willing to be. She IS helping by babysitting her grandchildren while her children work. I'm sure she loves her children and grandkids, but I'm willing to bet that if she dared to say to her children the things I've posted, her children would react just as you did and she'd end up cut off from her family. To the OP: I hope it helped to vent a little, and I want you to know that I understand.

How dare you say I resent my children [2008-11-24]
I do spend every night reading to my children. I also tuck them in and rub their backs every night. I get up every morning to prepare them a warm breakfast before driving them to school so they don My kids are all on the high honor roll because my husband and I help them with their homework. I volunteer at their school once a week. My husband and I attends every sporting event with them, be it practice or a match, to make sure no harm comes to them. I make sure they have a hot meal on the table when they come home from school. I worked extra all summer to afford a trumpet for my son who wanted to join the elementary band. I don I love them very much. But I do resent others critiquing my parenting abilities. I It She Where are your scruples? It Why is that so hard to understand? Do parents not deserve a break? So many GPs have the mentality, you made and that No one said GPs should be raising their GKs, but is it that wrong to think that GPs could give the parents a break evenjust once a year? Maybe they

500-800 Million and 12-15 years [2008-11-22]
to get something through the development process and submitted to FDA for approval. There is no incentive for the pharma or biotech companies to test an all natural product for safety and efficacy as they can't patent it and have exclusive rights in selling it. I can count on one hand the number of prescriptions I've taken in my life. I don't understand why people will take a med if its something that will run its course and your body will take care of. My doctor is great that way. He'll tell me there is a prescription, but if I'm willing to give it time I don't need to take anything. Much rather that...my belief is that every med has some level of toxicity. I'll suffer through a headache or achy bones before taking an over the counter. There is a point where I'll give in an pop a few pain relievers, but it has to be really bad.

Because Americans want a quick fix [2008-11-22]
>>I don't understand why people will take a med if its something that will run its course and your body will take care of. They don't want to suffer with ANYTHING - illness or otherwise. It's all about instant gratification. Fix me now, with the least amount of effort on my part. A pill for weightloss, a pill for depression - suck out my fat. How many people take drugs for diabetes or high blood pressure or cholesterol - when diet and exercise would fix the problem? I understand that not everyone with those problems can be fixed without medication - but many, many could be.