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You say you love them like they were your own sm [2008-12-04]
but you make a clear distinction in your post between them and your own daughter.Maybe they are picking up on this. I am from a blended family myself, and all 5 of us have always been treated the same by my dad and (step)mom. This year, money is tight for them, and they are only buying for the grandchildren. I have no problem with this. Gift giving should be done without regard to whether you are getting something back.
My office is under my loft-bed... I love it! [2008-12-02]
I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm [2008-11-30]
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles.
We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time!
I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that.
But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother.
Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.
2 problems with hubby - any advice??? [2008-11-30]
Problem #1: His hearing. He will not go to the doctor, complains to me all the time that he can not hear me and talks SO loud. I can't tell him anything in the stores or I might as well announce it over the loud speaker which in turn creates an argument (hence, miserable day out shopping yesterday).
Problem #2:I dread this time of year with him. He turns into this greedy person that is beyond comprehension for me. Every time he opens his mouth it I always grew up being thankful for what I got and can I never ask for items for Christmas - I appreciate the thoughtfulness that a person puts into getting me something (even if it I also believe the kids come first (3, 2 of which are teenagers) and we buy for them first but it seems I always have to budget my money for the kids and then for him. He does not like inexpensive items either. The last few months I'm the only one who has bought gifts for the kids - he hasn't spent any of his money and is counting on a bonus from his employer that may or may not come through and you never know how much it's going to be.
Sorry - and thanks for letting me vent. I've been so stressed lately.
Hubby with hearing and greedy problems [2008-11-30]
Dear NOT Silly Girl,
I am a clinical psychologist and now teach medical transcription. I lost my deaf old sweetie 2 years ago. He was incredibly vain about wearing aids and/or his glasses. FINALLY got him to an audiologist in Canada (half the price than here in US) but getting him to wear the aids was another matter. Solved it by training just like dog or horse. Yep! Intermittent positive reinforcement - rewards, treats, smooches, etc. I told him I would only go out to dinner or shopping with him if he wore the hearing aids. Refused to go out of house with him unless he had them on -- and he loved going out! It worked, except then I still had to repeat everything 3 times inside! Many, many frank discussions also helped. Turned out he was incredibly vain and thought he looked old with hearing aids. I finally convinced him that shouting at people REALLY made him look old. He got contacts instead of glasses.
As to self-centeredness, that has to be educated out of him, too. All this takes time. Just talk to him about values whenever he acts that way, and when he stops the selfishness, reward him. That is not acceptable behavior in an adult -- and I would tell him so directly.
Good luck.
Rosie
By the way, I would take
Would love measurements for vinegar pie, can you use graham crust? [2008-11-27]
Still time for one more pie!
if you aren't doing it out of love [2008-11-27]
and because you want to, then don't!! You could allow others the opportunity, go out to eat, volunteer at a public dinner, etc. That's silly to do it all with that attitude. Be true to yourself.
I'd love to see the recipe! Choc, PB - got protein and good carbs! Plus antioxidants! nm [2008-11-25]
nm
I would love to, but my husband is in Iraq :( [2008-11-25]
no message.
I Love Trivial Pursuit [2008-11-25]
We used to play girls against the guys when we would get together with old friends, and of course, the women would always win. :)
Love board games. Buy them Blokus. It is the ...sm [2008-11-25]
most fantastic game and can be played by children and adults alike. I bought it by accident last Christmas and it was the favorite gift.
I love cross stitch, to look at. I don't see well enough to do it myself sm [2008-11-24]
but I sure think it is pretty and there are several things I would love to have for my house. I could translate them into English smocking, which I can well, and put them up. I have a couple of Pullen pleaters and that helps. I have a baby dress for my mom's reborn doll I am doing right now and she wants that smocked.
I love the Ghost Whisperer! (sm) [2008-11-21]
It starts here in a half-hour ~ can't wait to watch it!
Yuck on the blizzard. I used to live in MN and had my fair share of driving in that crap. Stay warm! :)
I love Mexican food, but sometimes I [2008-11-19]
make my own or other stuff and make my own TV dinners. Chicken pot pie sounds good with the cooler weather. Could also pick up a presmoked presliced brisket or ribs and heat in the crock pot. Have the recipe for Wendy's chili which I make (TopSecretRecipes.com).
I have a TracFone. And I LOVE it. It is the original Nokia, but..sm [2008-11-18]
I can text on it. Texting uses up your minutes. However, when you run out of minutes, you doncodes that you have, you sometimes can get bonus minutes etc. So if I have 10 minutes left on my phone and I buy another 120 minute card, when I am done activating it I will have 130 minutes on my phone. And if I have a code then I will have the minutes from that also.
I would not hesitate to get another TracFone. They have some really cheap, reconditioned ones too.
Hubby will only own Mopars so I have a Dodge Caliber - nm [2008-11-17]
XX
Chevy ང flex fuel - love it! Big saving on price now, used to buy Olds. [2008-11-17]
...
Yes, God bless Fred, and God Bless you in your kindness and love...sm [2008-11-16]
We had to put two of our pets, to gorgeous cats that had been our babies for 16+ years, in much the same story, they had gotten to the point where they were suffering and would suffer more. Horrible, heartbreaking decision, hurts like heck, but I do believe there have to be darling pets in Heaven, I cannot imagine how it would be heaven without them, they are so precious and give us so much love and happiness! So sorry for your loss!
Hubby said they throw lips and noses in there! [2008-11-15]
Don't know if he was kidding, but lost my appetite. Would love to see Spamalot, love Ben Gazzara, he was in it in NY.
Bring out your Dead. But I Shut up, stop being a baby!! Something like that. Too funny. Crazy is good these days.
Aww! So he really is just a big love...nm [2008-11-14]
dd
Oh my gosh! I love him.. I could just...sm [2008-11-13]
kiss his little wrinkled face! I think English bulldogs are cute.
Very cute...I love boxers...nm [2008-11-13]
nm
I love the bumbper sticker idea!! nm [2008-11-13]
x
I love that short snout face too..sm [2008-11-13]
It is the blood line I guess because his daddy has the short snout like him too.
Love movie "A Christmas Story" when dogs eat the turkey and they go out for Chinese. We love d [2008-11-13]
nm
If he doesn't want an iPod, why are you getting it? [2008-12-04]
Is it your idea that he'd like one?
A few years ago when iPods had just come out, my husband bought me one for my birthday. I didn't want one, and I he knew nothing about them. It sat in it's box for about a month, and then I finally used it. Well, that was it. I became addicted! I now think that the iPod is the greatest invention known to mankind. Heck, as far as I'm concerned, NASA could have saved the trouble of going to the moon, because the iPod is better. LOL!
I'm just joking, but I really love my iPod. I eventually got a video iPod and I also have a shuffle. I like them both. I really enjoy podcasts, which are like radio shows produced on just about every subject you can imagine. I have enjoyed learning about new things and even taking Italian lessons on my iPod. I also download audio books along with music and travel videos.
I like my shuffle because it has no moving parts. I take it on hikes and runs and use it when I work out. They are now about $50. They're very simple. You simply load the audio and the machine plays it for you. You can't select songs or see any info. The video iPod has way more features, and you can even watch full-length movies on it. I've also loaded photos and can carry those with me. Of course, it has all the audio features of music. My son has an iPod touch which he seems to like. He's an engineer, and he likes gadgets. LOL. The nano is still available, and they are a nice step in between the video iPOD/touch and the shuffle.
fighting family too [2008-12-04]
I come from one of those families too...holiday wasn I kept waiting for something to happen but nothing did, they are close, they love one another and enjoy being together. Needless to say we stopped going to family functions on my side and my own children do not know what its like to have one of those holidays and hopefully never will.
I post this every holiday season and will try SM [2008-12-04]
posting again. Sigh.
I have two stephchildren. One is 30 and one is 25. I actually love them like my own children. Problem is gift giving. Do you give gifts to adult stephchildren who do not give gifts to you? If they were small children or teens, of course I would buy them gifts, but they are ADULTS! Every year I post this same question and get same answers from people saying how much they LOVE buying hundreds of dollars worth of stuff for EVERYONE they know and that I shold get in the holiday spirit of buying. I don I have two grandchildren, 4 and 1-1/2, and have spent a combined $100 on their gifts. Ibuying my SIL a book.
Last year, stepdaughter gave me a regifted gift card from Starbucks and stepson gave me small bag of candy (smushed carton).
They don I find buying gifts for adults silly. And please, do not suggest handmade gifts. I made that mistake years ago, when I made stepdaughter handmade mosaic tile box, with velvet interior. She threw the thing out.Isthere some tactful way out?
I am too. I have tried moving to our [2008-12-04]
but the kids moved their computer by me. Seems whereever I go they follow. I had no big windows in there so I went back to the family room, which is now called the office. But it is more like the kids room with mommy trying to work and bothering them. They play classroom in here, webkinz, toontown, do homework, etc. I used to have it in the bedroom, for years, but got depressed because I literally never left the room except to take care of the kids and do chores. I got depressed and the doc said I had to take the computer out of my bedroom, because even when not working, in bed, I'd think about work or see it constantly.
I once had an office with walls, but the kids took up camp in there too. They are all 11 and under so I can't wait until they want mommy less and are teenagers for example. Maybe then, they'd spend time by themselves and only come to me for money. LOL. I love them, but the noise and clutter that come withs them well just not exactly a good environment for a doc who speaks no English and eats chips at the same time.
Pet peeve [2008-12-03]
Know what I hate? E-cards! I mean if someone can't bother buying an actual birthday or anniversary card, don't bother sending some lame e-card. I'll stick with the post office on that one.
As far as cell phones, I don't know of ANYONE whose cell is better than their land line! I'd love to get hold of that Verizon Can You Hear Me Now guy - I could drag him around to a dozen areas near me where he wouldn't be hearing anyone!
My husband and I both smoke! [2008-12-03]
This January we have decided will be it. It is no longer socially acceptable. My excuse has always been that I am afraid to gain a lot of weight.
My brother quit after 15 years (early 30s) and he used Chantix. He was a 3-pack a day smoker. Let me tell you, he is so much better. No coughing. After 6 years of trying to have a baby and failing in vitro; they have just had a baby this November. They both smoked/him worse. They are now both nonsmokers for over a year, have gained weight, but have such a blessing. He swears it was the smoking that caused the infertility. This pregnancy was the natural way and she We are all elated.
I am especially proud of him and feel like such a wimp to continue to smoke knowing it is killing me. It makes me feel inferior to others. Thank God my brother is an encouraging soul and not one of those horrible ex-smokers who just won't let up or are worse than just plain nonsmokers.
To the OP: These poster above is absolutely correct. My brother will vouge that everything in life is better now that he is a nonsmoker (i He says the Chantix worked and he is by no means a pill-taker at all.
To the OP again: If you You are worth it! You can still smoke the first week on Chantix, but then the cravings will disappear. Believe me, I also enjoy the cigarette especially after eating but smoke a lot more when I I I hate the habit, but I love the cigarettes. See what I mean? It Whaddya say? E-mail me!
To the Poster Above: Thank you for your kind comments as you've also just made me decide that quitting is the best and only option at this point.
I had an aunt that died of ovarian cancer and never smoked or drank a day in her life. She was thin, always health conscious. Not all cancers including lung come from smoking. Keep that in mind as you strive to quit.
To pagan below about solstice [2008-12-03]
Didn't want to hijack that thread. Have you been to 13moons.com? It's a store, but you can sign up for their newsletters. They send out newsletters for our holidays with different stuff in it, crafts, etc. They are really neat people. They always personally sign order sheets and throw in a freebie here and there if they run out of something. Merry winter! I love winter.
Just sharing sm [2008-12-03]
My sis was 59, had tried to quit several times, but every time something stressful happened, she would smoke again. I canYou have Stage IV so keep smoking, what I care about you. Please stop! There are no excuses. My sister would not accept my tough love, I hope you do. I don't have any idea who you are but I will beg you to stop. No excuses.Use lollipops, cinnamon sticks, ice cubes, Nicorette, something to keep your mouth busy but smoking. You'll feel better, smell better, look better. Treat yourself to a manicure or something each week you make it.
PS - about my sister sm [2008-12-03]
Diagnosed at Thanksgiving, chemo for Christmas, dead by Easter. No symptoms. Don't let it happen to you. I care about you. Give yourself the best holiday gift ever (not to mention the people you would leave behind who love you).
Don't cushion her fall sm [2008-12-02]
You did not cut her off per se, you stopped enabling her to take advantage of you. You are not a bank, a restaurant or a hotel. She will never learn and will get into deeper trouble later on. You should still love her but not the behavior. I have had to do this with siblings and at first was sick over it, but have stopped enabling. Iused anymore. They will keep asking until the well runs dry and the first time you say no, youI love you, but Take care of yourself.
I'm in the bedroom... [2008-12-02]
Unfortunately, the unfolded laundry gets shuffled from my chair to the bed and back and forth. Folded laundry ends up on the corner of my desk and the other corner of my desk has little toys and a gameboy on it from my 7 yo because he likes to watch TV in my room and it's right beside my desk. Top of my desk has hubby's wallet, loose change, etc. (sigh)
mobile [2008-12-02]
The basement is finished and I like it, but sometimes it would be fun to go out on the porch? Anybody have a mobile set up? How would you do that? I would love to know.
Mine is in the front room [2008-12-02]
which is supposed to be I guess the formal living room, but we never used it for that. I'm right next to two big windows so I can look out and see what's happening around me. My daugher's computer is right near mine so I can monitor her and my youngest daughter uses it for her playroom. I'm somewhat cluttered, but not overly so. Lot of pictures (my autograph collection), pens, scanner, steno book, dictionary. I've love to have doors put in, but I doubt that will ever happen.
Different places when no office available [2008-12-02]
I have been in just about every room of my house at one time or another. I started out working in the kitchen years ago because I had dialup and the apartment I lived in had only a phone jack there. The kitchen was my favorite because it was away from all the noise--that was when the kids were smaller, though.
I have had a desk in the bedroom before. It was handy when the kids were at school or hubby was home to take care of them, otherwise it was a pain because it was in the back of the house and if they needed something I had to get up from my desk.
The family room is okay, unless you have really loud family like mine. My kids must be deaf sometimes, I swear. Oh yeah and they argue in there over the TV the PlayStation, etc. However, you can deal with some of that from the desk without having to get up. It is a fair trade most of the time.
I had two different mobile setups over the years. One was laptop which was okay, but before WiFi, so expensive. The second, I had a desk on wheels that had everything I needed. I could roll it out to the back porch and sit there to work while the youngest was out playing. This was good for mild weather. Be forewarned, if it is really hot outside where you are, you may have PC problems. I used to have one that would overheat and shut itself off. Ugh!!. Oh, BTW, direct sunlight is bad if you have a laptop or plasma screen, so make sure you have shade!
I currently have my own little room for now which basically is the size of a really huge walk-in closet with a window and a door. I shut the door when the kids are home because the words please be quiet, I cannot hear when you are yelling at eachother apparently are not in teenager-ese.
Hope this was helpful!
toys [2008-12-02]
Slinkies
Lincoln Logs
Yo-Yos
Tinker Toys
Silly Putty
I love them all......
Heartily disagree with some of those... [2008-12-02]
I love the post office. For 42 cents, they will take my card or letter all the way across the US, to Alaska or Hawaii! I think it's the greatest bargain going. (And, no, I don't know anyone who works for the post office.)
Secondly, I would NEVER give up my land line on my telephone. Try dealing with a few conversations getting choppy and incomprehensible on a cell. Cell phones have their place, but their quality is pretty poor compared to that line stretched on the poles.
Lucky you! I'm a clutterbug. [2008-12-02]
I tried the organization thingie and it was great but I couldnhere but now it.
I love things neat and tidy, but I can't waste 3 months looking for something.
Things that are better NOW........ [2008-12-02]
Cell Phones: If I
ATM Machines: I remember running out of gas on a weekend when the banks were closed back in the 70
The Internet:About 12 years ago, Iremember asking someone what the Internet was, and why we needed it. Now, I Remember the HARD way of doing things in the past? Like buying theater or plane tickets? Looking up directions? Comparing different brands of something you wanted to buy? Selling something you no longer wanted? Looking for a house or an apartment? Getting the latest news? The list is endless. Long Live The Internet!!!!
Google: Who can live without it? Especially Google Earth Google Maps? Now I Back in the day when I had to rely on someone
Digital Cameras: When I think of all the money I spent on film, and then developing said film, and all the film wasted on bad shots in my lifetime, it makes me cringe. I love the freedom and flexibility digital cameras give me to take as many photos as I want, and to experimentwith them,as well.
MP3 Players/CD Players: Think of all the fights youin the car over which radio stationto listen to listen to, and how loud. Then think how they never would Dad could
Solar Lights: I love solar lights! Garden lights! Floodlights! Christmas lights! You can fill your yard with them, and the power source is FREE!!!
Hair-straightening and CurlingIrons: Remember the 60frizzy or too-curly hair with an IRON on your mom Or sleeping with HAIR CURLERS? UGH!!!
You can probably think of a million more great things than I did. Let's hear 'em!
Yes, this post is very true...sm [2008-12-01]
She claims to love her cats but she can be very mean to them. She constantly screams and swears at them. I wouldn She was one of the select chosen and with her narcissistic personality, she will absolutely refuse togive up her weekend at the cabin because she has no one to feed her animals while she is gone. She would rather see them starve.
Dear Charmed [2008-12-01]
It is obvious your sisters do not love you, but don’t let them destroy your life. Join a church, find new friends. Get counseling from a minister. Life is too short, don’t let their bitterness ruin your life. You have already seen that riches don’t make them happy. Start a new life without your sisters.
Fake for the past 3 years [2008-12-01]
I love it. Lights came attached and are remote control, no untangling of lights! Not to mention I bought it on sale 3 years ago for $99 so it's already more than paid for itself. I miss the smell of a real tree but not the mess and constant watering and picking up needles, trying to keep my animals from drinking out of the water in the base, etc. :)
Charmed...I have similar relatives. Here is something to remember [2008-12-01]
MISERABLE PEOPLE LOVE TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE MISERABLE.
That is why the saying misery loves company.
I know they are your family. However, if they treat you that badly, dump them and move on. I went through this years ago. I have family like this. They never had anything to do with me unless they needed something from me or they wanted to belittle me.
One can find friends who are more like family and treat you with respect. Make sure you have caller ID and DON That is the first step. LEARN TO SAY NO. It will not kill you, I promise. When you empower yourself, you learn to like you for yourself and it no longer matters what these people think of you. When it no longer matters what they think, they will see it and pick on someone else.
I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm [2008-11-30]
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles.
We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time!
I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that.
But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother.
Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.
I'm sure some of your relatives are feeling sm [2008-11-30]
the same horrible crunch. Feel them out gently. Together you can approach the insensitive members of your family.
Instead of saying you won say you can instead. It's the sign of the times, and not a reflection on you.
You can have a very merry and wonderful Christmas without gifts. It's love that makes Christmas Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you and all the other posters and readers!
Men [2008-11-30]
I think his quality of life would go up if he'd be willing to see an audiologist and have his hearing evaluated. There are a lot of new technologies on the market these days. They will usually allow a person to take a device home for a trial before purchase.
But it sounds like he doesn't want to admit his body is aging. He still wants to act like a kid and spend money on toys instead of health. My hubby is 50, and is just now realizing sometimes expensive electronics just aren't in a real-world budget. I haven't cared about gifts since I was a kid. I found gifts very disappointing and giving them a lot of work, so thank goodness we only buy for nieces and nephews now and all the adults go without. It had just become a silly exchange of gift cards anyway.
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