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Sounds strange to me [2008-06-23]
What self respecting guy keeps borrowing money? Although I don't know his circumstances, that alone would make me leery. You don't want to get involved with someone needy like that IMHO. I'd sever the ties with this dude.
mixed feelings [2008-06-12]
I have mixed feelings on this subject. I think a lot of it has to do with the owners but maybe there is something about the breed too - not sure. But yesterday a friend of ours had to shoot his neighbor's pit bull. . The dog was known to be mean and is usually kept inside but it was out and came after our friend's 2y/o grandchild. He got the child inside and when he looked out, the dog was going after another neighbor's child. He got his gun and shot it. . However, I will say, the owner of the pit bull is a known drug dealer and not a very nice person, so that could be why the dog was so aggressive.
Stop judging people who you do not know [2008-06-03]
This is common sense, stop posting this garbage! [2008-05-27]
The only thing worse than chain emails, is people who pass along chain emails!
Effexor works wonders for me...sm [2008-05-21]
I I have chronic depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, and social anxiety disorder.Effexor pretty much cures all of these things for me. It was only prescribed to me for itplus. It hasnor lose weight, so no problem there.
Now, Effexor was not the 1st antidepressant I tried. There were others that seemed to workedfor me but the side effects (constant headache, stomache ache, drowsiness, insomnia or what have you) were too much to deal with. After trying many over the years, Effexor is the one that works the best for me.
I have heard that Effexoris awful to stop though, and I believe it. I take it at night because it makes me drowsy and if I ever forget to take it - woo boy! I wake up feeling practically like I have a hangover (very dizzy and groggy) and I have to take it right away.Ido worry about the long-term effects of it, but it helps me so much I don
Now ~Wellbutrin~ on the other hand, made me feel like I was going to die after just one dose! (See my post about in on the Mental Health board here.) I wouldn
So, everyone is different. It can be very long, tough process of trial and error finding the med. that works best for you, but it can make a big, positivedifference in your life if you can find one that works well for you, whether you just take it for a little while or (like me) long-term.
Where is John's head? (sm) [2008-05-21]
It's in his crotch.
I head that was a limited-time only thing. I never even got a chance to try it. nm [2008-05-20]
xx
Stay away from Effexor --- Run from it!!! [2008-05-20]
A little background history: I am married and had just had my third child 6 months before this. I was juggling 1 PT office job, 1 PT MT job at home, and 1 per diem job in a clinic 2-3 days a week. I felt overwhelmed dealing with my 3 jobs and my 3 kids, then ages 5, 2-1/2 and 6 months. I went to my doctor and told her about my stress and the mood swings especially during my period.
I was started on Effexor 5 years ago this month. At first, I was kind of afraid of it and didn After taking it a week or 2, I decided to stop. I just quit taking it cold turkey. About 24 hours after my last dose, the problems started. First the awful headache came and then the lightheadedness and vomiting. I immediately took one and lied down for the rest of the evening. I decided I would just stay on them until my next doctor Several months later, when I saw my doctor again, she asked how it was going and I said fine. I decided to stay on them, thinking I needed them.
After a couple of years of being on Effexor, I began to notice breakouts of acne on my face. I I mean serious almost bullous-like breakouts on my face continuously. Now I had never had acne in high school or after that until now. I also gained about 50 pounds, probably partly my fault, but a lot of blogs I read also noted this. But most concerning were the brain tingles I felt at odd times. At any rate, after 5 years of being on it, I was ready to stop. I began to realize that my problems couldn't be solved by a pill and that I needed to change myself and the way I dealt with stress (I'm not suggesting that's what you need to do).
Remembering the problem I had initially when I tried to stop the Effexor, I scheduled a visit with my doctor. She gave me a taper and I started it. At first, I was okay -- just taking it once a day every 2 days and then skipping a day. But when I was supposed to take it just every other day, I noticed the same problems - headaches, lightheadedness, nausea, vomiting. I called my doctor back and she suggested a slower taper again. We tried with no success. After much research on the internet, I asked my doctor to prescribe a single dose of Prozac to counteract the withdrawal effects. After a lot of discussion, she agreed to do so.
I took my last Effexor on December 18, 2007, and I will never, ever, ever take that medication again. I also will never take another medication without fully knowing the side effects as well as the withdrawal process of it. I strongly urge you to research any drug your doctor prescribes fully before beginning it. I wish I had. I only hope there are no long-term side effects of Effexor that have yet to be unveiled.
If you don't stop crying, I am just going to [2008-05-14]
x
Effexor caused strange buzzing feelings in my head when trying to stop it nm [2008-05-08]
x
Effexor -- I took that for 5 years and [2008-05-07]
My doctor started me on it because I told her I was really stressed out with my 3 kids. Of course, at the time of the office visit, I was PMSing and couldn She started me on it that visit and I took it, thinking it had to be okay because the FDA approved it, right? I took it for 5 years and when I tried to go off it, I couldn I got really sick and dizzy and kept getting these brain freezes. My brain actually felt tingly all over. After doing a lot of research, I realized I wasn My doctor kept telling me I had to wean off it, but slowing the taper didn I was even opening the capsules up and counting out the little beads inside to make the dosage smaller, less noticeably to my body. Finally, after much pleading with my doctor, she was willing to give me a Prozac tablet to counter the effects of the withdrawal from the Effexor. It worked and I was able to get off and I said never again!!!!! I don Ibrain freezes have finally stopped. I still cringe when I have to type it in a medication list on a report I I keep thinking these poor souls have no idea what it will be like to stop it.
shower head [2008-05-05]
I conditioner out of my hair. I have one that allows me to adjust the settings and that helps. I think the problem is that I am so short that even with the high pressure it doesn I want to get one of the removable ones but before I went and spent the money I was hoping for suggestions. Whenever I go to my hairstylist, my hair always feels so much better for a week or two after she rinses it with that high-pressure sprayer so close to my head. I Thanks for any suggestions on a reasonablly priced shower head.
I'm a closet metal head :) nm [2008-04-21]
O
I made concious effort to stop yelling & pointed that [2008-04-19]
x
stop it [2008-04-18]
Stop sitting back waiting for him to do something - it seems like you have to have his approval for everything - even to be upset - Stop waiting for him to change because he probably won't. Some people have suggested that he is abusive - I'm not sure about that because it seems like you ASK for something, he says no and that is the end of it. . STOP ASKING. She's your sister - for most people, this would not be a big deal. . For once, just tell him she is coming and you will be spending time with her. . Maybe his reaction won't be that bad, and if it is, so what?? Are you afraid of him?
Get your head out of the sand! nm [2008-04-17]
x
You must be posting strange things (sm) [2008-04-11]
I haven
Honestly I have mixed feelings on this. [2008-03-18]
On one hand...I feel it is your body, you can do what you wish. Who should say what you do with your body. Providing it is willing, agreeing, consenting adults, that should be their choice.
On the other hand...I think some, if not many, who get into prostitution, it is a bad life...they have low self esteem, no respect for themselves...and they are at their lowest and do not know what to do or where to turn. Many times they are so involved with drugs and alcohol, they can not think clearly.
But at the same time...the ones who are low, are going to do what they can to make money....whether it is prostitution, selling drugs, stealing....illegal or not, they will do it if they are that desperate.
Heck, there are women and men out there selling thier bodies, making good money...or at least money...why not make it legal so you can tax them!
If your choice was no arms or being put in strange [2008-03-11]
in how to survive in such surroundings, with predators all around, you would still rather have your arms? Except with declawing, we are not taking whole legs, just a first joint of a digit. Really cant compare this to no arms.
strange sighting for me [2008-03-10]
There I think he has his nights and days mixed up. He What gives though, why is he out in the daytime? His eyes are all squinty like he just woke up.
strange sighting for me - MT4eight [2008-03-10]
A few years ago, we had several cats. My daughter was feeding them late in the evening and I bent over and petted one, felt very coarse hair, and looked again. You are right it was a possum. He never moved, nor did the cats, they just went on eating.
I am really, really sorry because I know your feelings [2008-03-08]
I recently lost my beloved pet of 18 years but I have also lost animals to parvo in the past, really sad. I so feel for you and hope your heart will mend before long. We just love these little ones so much and does not take long for them to have us wrapped around their little paws. Sorry in your loss.
Please stop spreading rumors [2008-03-06]
Imagine that you have pancreatic cancer. Imagine that you are hopeful you will beat it because you were fortunate enough to have it detected early. Imagine that you Then imagine seeing your face plastered on some gossip magazine with the heading your name Only Has 5 Weeks to Live What do you think that would do to your will to fight? Then imagine your spouse Then imagine your kids when they come home from school to tell you that so-and-so just told them that you're going to die in 5 weeks, is that true?
Now instead of using your energy to fight your battle with this ugly disease, you are spending it to console your spouse and children. I Will you spread that rumor? Where's your compassion?
I cannot stop laughing! You mean you actually expect me to SM [2008-03-06]
keep the SAME PICTURE??? LOL! At least if I endure this today I have a slight CHANCE of a better one!!
I live in PA. . . not sure of my options, but I
I believe you which sucks because this site is just TOO GOOD to stop posting! sm [2008-03-04]
I've always thought she wasn't an honest person to begin with.....first the site was hijacked and then it was being updated. I get it now. Thanks for this. I don't understand why she was so against outsourcing (as am I), and then all of this mess. Thank you for this site.
I think she means [2008-07-03]
that with unstable dry sand, or even with sand of a wetter consistency, if a hole is too deep (over a child make whatever limit you feel safe with. There's nothing to fear if they keep it shallow.
This happened to a man I knew years ago with dirt, not sand, but I agree it would be possible in sand and probably easier done. He was working in a ditch deeper than he was tall, and when it collapsed on top of him, it killed him. I do believe that is what 'SM' is warning against.
This one has struck a chord with me. [2008-07-03]
I have been an assistant scoutmaster for 8 years now. Yes, I am a mom, and there are women scout leaders out there! My job with our troop was Webelos-to-Scout Transition Coordinator. My job was to help our youngest boys and their families become part of our troop and to make sure that the boys have fun and get all that they can from the scout experience. Summer camp was always the make or break time for the youngest boys. You didn't say if your son is a new scout, but I assume this is his first time at summer camp. Homesickness and living in the outdoors are always the biggest hurdles during the first summer camp.
You are not over-reacting because your son is having a bad time. That's a simple fact, and he deserves to have those feelings validated and addressed. Since I'm female, I tend to approach the first-time scout's misery in a different way, and over the years, a lot of men have disagreed with my methods. But, they work. Men seem to like the stick-it-out approach, and I've seen some of the worst leaders actually tease and belittle homesick boys or boys who don't take easily to the outdoor experience. That really finishes off the boy for scouting. He quits. Do you think that is what is happening with your son?
At summer camp with our first year scouts, I always listen to them, validate their fears, and then try to help them overcome their fears with knowledge. If spiders or animals scare them, we go to the nature lodge and find out all about them. We do a good cleaning of their tents or lean-toWell, it I and my fellow adult leaders have spent a lot of nights sitting around picnic tables talking to scouts, sometimes making a game of listening for owls or watching spiders crawl across the table in the lantern light. And if boys do call home, I would run like crazy to the camp phone to call the parents first to let them know what was going on and to tell them to expect a call from their son. In that way, parents were prepared, and we could coordinate our efforts to help their son.
Basically, it just takes some compassion. The hard core approach doesn't work.
Why do I go through all the trouble? Because I know the value of the scouting program. When it's done well, it goes a long way to help parents raise up honorable men. In our troop, our scouts learn to be compassionate, because we've modeled that sort of behavior for them. They learn about living in the outdoors, and learn to take care of themselves and others. That gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel capable. They learn problem-solving skills and teamwork. These are all important life skills, and when scouting is done well, boys who come through are lightyears ahead of most of their non-scout peers by the time they are 18.
But that only happens when it's done right. There are great troops and adult volunteers in the BSA, but there are unfortunately some real losers, as well. It's true that scouting is not for everyone, but there is no reason for so many boys to be pushed away because of issues that just need a little careful thought and attention. This is one of my most passionate issues with scouting. Even the BSA knows that the first year scout is the most likely to quit, and they spend a lot of money and time training volunteers on this subject. It seems that some adults don't learn as quickly as others, though. And there is a core of leaders who like to remember what it was like when they were boy scouts, and won't move ahead or adapt their techniques for the boy of today's times. A new 11-year-old scout should not be expected to act like a man and tough it out. He's still a boy, and living in the woods is usually a totally new experience for him. MOST boys are scared at first, but the men and other boys hate to admit it. A new scout just needs some patience, understanding and time to mature. He needs to feel safe even when he's struggling, and he needs to know that he is supported.
I don't know all the details of your son's experience, but if you think that what I've said might apply to him, you might consider looking for another troop, one that will provide him with a good, supportive program. Not all scout troops are the same. Each has a different personality, so perhaps another troop would suit your son better. If that's not possible, or if at this point he is completely turned off by scouting, there are certainly other activities out there that can teach him the things that are learned through scouting. Encourage him to find out what his talents are and help him to explore all of the possibilities that life has to offer.
I'm so sorry to hear that your son is not enjoying scouts. It really breaks my heart when I hear such stories, because I know that the adult volunteers could handle the situation better. My own sons had a hard time the first time they went to camp, which is why I got involved. I knew there was a better way to deal with such a common problem. My oldest, who is now 20, still works with scouts, and my youngest will receive his Eagle Scout rank in just a couple of weeks. I have seen many, many boys' lives changed for the better by the scouting program, including my own sons. I hope that your son can also have a great experience in scouting.
I'm always happy to talk about scouting, and if you'd like to send me a private message, I'd be glad to share more of my thoughts on the subject.
God bless ya! I can always count on my computer savy co-workers SM [2008-07-02]
for answers! Thanks again. I had that terrible question rolling around in my head all day and worrying myself to death.
This will be a lesson well learned in the future.
Maybe that's why your scared. Your thinking [2008-07-01]
too big (moving out of state). Money? If you Hope there are no children involved. Being scared is not a reason to stay with your husband. Why continue to be miserable? I feel sorry for you. Sounds like you live to please others and the heck with your own feelings.
If it was really significant, I would [2008-07-01]
think the final cost would be more than $800. My niece was mauled by a dog and spent about a week in the hospital. She was 4 years old at the time. It was the saddest thing seeing her in that hospital bed with her whole head swollen up. The dog bite ripped out a couple of her still-forming permanent teeth and she ended up with quite a nasty scar along one cheek. Most of the stitches were in her scalp.
My sister and her husband had to sue the homeowner It took quite a while to sort it all out. They ended up with a settlement that would after 15 years of very modest growth pay for her college and also any future medical bills. She has had revision of that scar on her face, but she is 19 years old now and still hasn She ismissing bone where theimplants need to go and so will need grafting to be able to accomplish it.
She was not emotionally scarred forever by the incident. She is fine, and it didn Just keep loving your daughter and shebe back to her old self. Money won
Try not to let your anger overtake you. I know they are responsible, but there is no need to try and take them for as much as you can. You could conceivably ruin their future. Accidents happen. What exactly were the circumstances surrounding the bite?
If it was really significant, I would [2008-07-01]
think the final cost would be more than $800. My niece was mauled by a dog and spent about a week in the hospital. She was 4 years old at the time. It was the saddest thing seeing her in that hospital bed with her whole head swollen up. The dog bite ripped out a couple of her still-forming permanent teeth and she ended up with quite a nasty scar along one cheek. Most of the stitches were in her scalp.
My sister and her husband had to sue the homeowner It took quite a while to sort it all out. They ended up with a settlement that would after 15 years of very modest growth pay for her college and also any future medical bills. She has had revision of that scar on her face, but she is 19 years old now and still hasn She ismissing bone where theimplants need to go and so will need grafting to be able to accomplish it.
She was not emotionally scarred forever by the incident. She is fine, and it didn Just keep loving your daughter and shebe back to her old self. Money won
Try not to let your anger overtake you. I know they are responsible, but there is no need to try and take them for as much as you can. You could conceivably ruin their future. Accidents happen. What exactly were the circumstances surrounding the bite?
A lot depends on your daughter, not just you - sm [2008-06-30]
Is she sensible? There are not many 16-y/o that have not tried drinking or smoking, it is all part of trying new things,etc. and it will happen whether you like it or not. You have to learn to trust her to make smart decisions and to make her own mistakes but obviously to guide her and make sure she doesndate had MadDog, nasty stuff, and I got obliterated as I did not realize what that crud would do to me. Lucky for me my dad was out of the country at the time. My punishment was being forced to go to school with a horrible hangover (though I puked my guts out in my friendscares). I actually went and got on the pill while still a virgin so when it did happen I would be protected. --- is your daughter that sensible and with some common sense? I did a lot of stupid things along with the smart things I doing, just got lucky and came out of it okay. At 16 you want to experiment and have fun. All my friend and I were A/B students, 1 smoked and did all sorts of drugs. I would drink and smoke pot now and them (1 x a week or so), and again parents NEVER knew it. I remember one time my dad picked me up at school after play practice (was helping out with set design), I was stoned, had been slipped angel dust and had been hallucinating about an hour or two prior, was still pretty high. He wanted me to drive home for practice (I was 16), I turned him down because I was very tired.....he never knew, I crawled into bed the minute I got home. I was very, very good at hiding it from my parents, how they didn't smell it on me I never knew, unless they just ignored it. My best friend smoked and they new that so I guess that helped cover it up a bit. Despite all this I was very anti-drug (anything but pot) as I had seen too many people messed up on coke, crank, LSD, etc. I was furious with my BF's brother as he was the one who slipped me the angel dust, I got lucky as nothing bad happened to me. He is dead now, ended up addicted to coke, then alcohol, got hepatitis, car-jacked 3 cars for drug money, and ended up in prison with a 20 year sentence, got out after 8 years in 2006, then got addicted to painkillers, they found him dead in his apartment, killed by mixing alcohol and painkillers. This just happened about 8 months ago. He was only 42. Very sad as he was a smart guy but had many, many problems and never got his life together. Obviously this does not happen to everyone who does drugs, it all depends on the person and their upbringing. His sister (one of my BFs) is a successful therapist, drinks but quit smoking several years ago, never got into hard drugs like her brother. ---sorry for the rambling, but don't go overboard and lock her up, that will just make her go in the opposite direction. Obviously you need to set limits, etc, and try to know where she is and who she is with, and set punishments if you catch her doing it and let her know what those punishments will be, whether it is grounding for a month, or no cell phone, no TV, no driving, whatever, be firm and stick to it. I know that my brothers and I all did stuff, most of which we got away with, but it was shear luck and stupidity when I look back at it. Not all kids are so lucky. I hope you daughter is one of the lucky ones.
Your SIL must be my BIL [2008-06-30]
My BIL is exactly like that. I donhow-to books and tools around if people stop by it appears like he can do things himself. HA HA. On the other hand my sister isn't much better. She has been working on a computer about as long as I have (over 20 years) but she cannot copy, cut, paste, doesn't know where her files are when she saves them, does not know what the desktop is. Cannot work with more than one program up at a time, etc, etc. (again she has a computer guy help her). When I go back to see her she asks me to help her with her computer stuff, but when I tell her she writes down everything exactly word for word and what takes me about 2 minutes to do takes me about 40 minutes to explain to her and stop because she writes slow. Very frustrating (and then my aunt calls her asking computer questions). HA HA. However, now that their business has died down and one of them is out of work and the other looking for full time work they are having to do a lot of stuff they don't know how to. Was laughing when my sister told me BIL busted the lawnmower because he crashed it into a tree. HA HA HA
Well, now it's my turn to tell my story...(Beware..this is long) [2008-06-29]
Well, I just don I was 26 years old when I met and married my husband. It will be14 years ago this August. I was a platinum blond, Swedish, 26-year-old, voluptuous virgin waiting for my prince to come. I had never dated because I was too fearful and shy. My mother always told me that my prince was coming. She just didnthe prince of darkness. It has been a nightmare, although he says it has been great with only a few bumps along the way. He is abusive in every way including verbally, mentally, emotionally, some physical although very little (not an excuse, just telling it the way it is), what I feel is sexual abuse with me but not the children,but the worst by far is his financial abuse. He has told me many, many times, Who do you think YOU are? What do you think...that you I can find a dozen more women like you. I have three children, now ages 14, 13, and 11. 14-year-old has ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. My husbandis just like this although he has never been diagnosed and never would be because in his own words, I am perfect just like God made me. There is nothing wrong with me. The problem here is you. My credit is down the toilet. Credit score is about 500. His is 800. Through the years, when the children were babies I had to feed them dry cereal with a cup of water because he wouldn One very hot night in the summer, I had to feed them generic hot dogs and pink beans, which were some kind of bean that slithered out of the can in a gelatinous material. The kids werewere dry heaving at the table. One day when I was about 8 months pregnant with my last child, he came up to me and said, Well, I I said what He said (very matter of fact), I I won If you want something, get off your f______fat a__ and get a job. I had a 6-month-old and a 1 1/2-year-old and 8 months pregnant with the third one. What!! Get a job!! Are you crazy?? He said, Oh well. Famous last words. That is all I ever hear. He has ripped out phone lines, denied us food and clothing. We have two cars. He used to hide the car I would drive around the neighborhood so I couldn He would even take the carseats. One time when I was pregnant, I had no money so my girlfriend needed a babysitter a few hours a week. She lives in Connecticut, which is about 45 minutes from my home. She could only pay $45 a week but I would drive up there four days a week to watch those kids just to get that measly $45. One day when I was leaving to go, I wanted $2 for an ice cream cone (I was pregnant at the time and that was my thing during that pregnancy). I asked him for $2 and he said no. I reached into his wallet and took $2 anyway. So he came after me. I took out the butcher knife but he ran outside to get to the car first so I couldn I put away the knife and ran out the back door to try to get to the car first but he got there before me. I reached in to try to grab the car keys out of the ignition when he rolled the window up as hard as he could. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I thought he was going to break my arm. I was able to backhand him and he unrolled the window. A little while later I ran to the neighbors to call the police because he ripped the phone lines out. I was there for about 15-20 minutes calling the police, family, and my friends to come and help. When I got back to the house, he had taken both cars (hid one in the neighborhood) and went to work. He left my 9-month-old and 1 1/2-year-old children all by themselves (and at the time I lived on a very busy street where cars would drive by at 50 mph). When I walked in, they were sitting on the living room floor screaming at the top of their lungs. The next morning I was in the shower and I lifted up my arms to wash my hair when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the underside of my arm. It was a jet black bruise about four to five inches long by about two inches wide. It was literally jet black. I was stunned. When I called the police, I told them what was going on with his abuse. I told them I was pregnant with two little ones at home. I told them I had no food. I told them and showed them the bruise and I told them I wanted to press assault charges. They said, He did that to you? I said yes. I said, I want him arrested for assault. I told them where he worked. They turned around and told me that because the incident happened the day before that there was nothing they would do and that they weren They told me to just let him lie low for a while. This happened in 1996. We are not talking the 50s here. This was just before they handed me a pamphlet on battered women and battered women The pamphlet said there does not have to be any sign of physical abuse. If you are in a situation where you simply fear for your safety, the person can be arrested. And I am sitting there pregnant with ahuge, jet black bruise underneath my arm from where he rolled my arm up in the window. This is just a few tidbits of the life I have had with him. There have been some good times and good vacations but mostly bad. We have fought so bad for years and years that I know the toll it has taken on the kids. The guilt I have is insurmountable. If he buys groceries, I have to pay him back. If he pays the phone bill, I have to pay him back. If he buys me anything or gives me a $10 or $20 bill, I have to pay him back. Most of the time, I am not allowed to go into a store with him. I went with him once to Wal-Mart and I put a $2 box of sweetener into the carriage. That was it. I am now not allowed to go into a store with him. He screams at us that he pays the rent, therefore, it is his house and we have to learn to live the way he wants us to and we should be catering to him. If we don He has told me for years that he is a king and that the house is his castle and that he has allowed us to live with him because he is kind, loving, and gracious. He will only buy oneChristmas gift for his kids and no stocking stuffers or tape or wrapping paper or anything like that.I have to do that with what I get paid to do MT work. He doesn When they were little, I would tell him that the children needed some cool clothes for summer. He would take their little pants and cut them off and then take their turtleneck shirts and cut off the turtle neck and cut off the sleeves and say, There you go. There Or he would just tell me, Go ask your sister to buy them some clothes. He has threatened to kill me and the children if I leave. He has told me that he would kill me and the children before I would ever see child support. He has a sex fettish where he wants it all the time, every day multiple times in a day if he could get it (not that he does, mind you. I stopped that crazy crap a long time ago), and I am just supposed to stop all that I am doing and fulfill his needs (even though sex for me offers virtually nothing other than soreness,swelling, and boredom and has always been like this). If I don I am very overweight, I smoke like a chimney, my credit is destroyed, I don I have less now 14 years later than I did before I married him. At least before I married him I had my own very nice car and some clothes. I don My clothes are tattered, stained, and worn. And...I had dreams of what my life was going to be like when I got married. But it certainly was not a life like this. My kids are older now and they are seeing their father for who he is. He blames me and tells me it is all the bad stuff I am telling the children. I keep telling him it is what they have seen for 14 years. They beg me to divorce him. My youngest, who is 11, was diagnosed last year with severe ulcerative colitis. He has had a flare now for the past six weeks with at least ten bouts of diarrhea with blood every day. He talks about depression a lot and always asking me what it is. When I got the call last year from his pediatrician telling me to take him to the hospital for a possible blood transfusion (this was when we got his diagnosis), Ialmost fell on the floor from fear. I called my husband at work to tell him he needed to come home. He said, I can I have to work. He said, Don His red blood cell count had dropped to 7.2 froma normal of 12 because of his bleeding. He came to the hospital when he got out of work. He showed up at 6:00 p.m. We went outside and talked for a bit and then about 20 minutes after he showed up, he said, Well, I have to go home to eat and shower. I When I got angry, he said Hey, I I need to rest. Besides, there We still didn I didn I was scared to death. But he had to go home to eat and shower and rest!!!! I think that was the beginning of the end for me. I once read something on these boards that someone posted saying Marriage is not supposed to be a good deal for one and misery for the other. That is what my life has been. My marriage was a great deal for him...kids that he never has to pay for (I mean nothing...not school projects and believe me there are a ton of them, not clothes, not shoes, notebooks, backpacks, nothing), free sex, and a wife that he doesn I believe in my soul that my marriage was a good business deal for him. If you knew my husband, you would laugh at that statement because he is extremely uneducated and talks like a mentally retarded person. People in the past have actually asked me if he was mentally retarded. He thinks that if my son would drink lots and lots of water, that that will cure his ulcerative colitis and makes fun of me and insults me and everyone else. Itell him he is a moron and he doesn His abusive mother made them drink nothing but water. She would not buy them anything or strive for a better life. They lived in a nightmare life. So now he gets very angry when we woncure everything. He tells us that he is trying to show us how to live right but we just won He tells this to other people too including our landlord. He has the most disgusting habits. He picks scabs and eats them, he has eczema and psoriasis so he is one huge flake, which he enjoys picking off chunks and dropping them in a pile on the floor, he passes unbearable gas (like every two or three minutes that has such a horrid stench it makes all of us nauseous) and then flips out if we spray a room spray. He will actually grab the can and scream that this is his house and we are all just disgusting to live with and just impossible to live with. He just had a fight with my 12-year-old daughter tonight because he was passing tons and tons of gas and she sprayed a room spray. He got up in her face screaming at the top of his lungs at 11:00 at night that this is his house. He will pass gas all he wants and that he won She was crying and begging me to divorce him. She kept saying, You said it would be better for the family if you stayed married to him but it It won Well, I could go on and on. It has been 14 years of this but I think you get the picture. I have no money. I don I have a son who is going to need ongoing frequent medical care and I am afraid he will cancel the insurance if I do anything to get rid of him. I have a great fear for our safety. He has major problems with having to give up his money so to haveto pay child support will send him over the edge. He is a pathological liar so you can He told me, I would never allow anyone to judge me like that. You can tell the judge to kiss my balls. He seems to expect the absolute highest standards from the children and I but he doesn Never has and never will but will shove it down my throat when he doesn Well, any advice. I really am looking for legal advice for anyone else who has been through this. I know I need to get rid of him...for the kids sake. They need to see that life is not like this and not all men do this and that you don My daughter, who just turned 13, says to me she hates men with a passion. I told my niece that I felt like I was dying. I never, never, never, never leave my house except to go to Dunkin Donuts up the street to get a coffee. I haven And that is three hours probably once every two months. I am lonely, isolated, and ragingly angry. I want to go back to school but when I talk about that, he poo poos it saying I should go back in five or ten years or 15 years when my bills are paid and I can afford it. HELLO????? I am going to be 43 in October. Maybe I should just wait to go back to school until I Well you get the picture. If you By the way, when I bring up any of his abuse to him, he tells me I don Funny, he always remembers every time I swear at him though. Has never forgotten a single time.
You are very brave and I would love to do the [2008-06-28]
same thing but am too scared to start over and then there's always the $$ issue associated with it. I would head straight to Florida or to the Carolinas. I wish you the best of luck!
This year was rough...sm [2008-06-27]
I turned 41 this month, but it wasn I It all seemed to come to a head on my actual birthday for some reason and I was inconsolable. I cried almost all day. It was awful.
my sister did this to my mother [2008-06-26]
got her for over $40K before we siblings could put a stop to it. mom won't press charges, as she doesn't want any hard feelings (are you kidding me?), but guess who's out of the will?
Cold/sinus infection with beginning of period? [2008-06-25]
Okay, here The day before my period, for the last year or so, I get a horrendously bad cold/sinus infection/flu-type process. It usually goes away about a day or two after my period. I have never ever had this happen before and its really bad this month. I have all the symptoms... stuffiness, red runny eyes, runny stuffy nose, pounding headache, throat like daggers, etc. It started as postnasal drip yesterday and I thought ohhh great... here we go. Needless to say I was up most of last night in complete tears because of the pain of it all and not being able to swallow at all. I have tried researching on the internet about this happening, but can Has anyone heard of this or had this happen? I just want to stop it. truly, I would take the worst god awful cramps over this torture. I have had this both on and off the pill and I am only 31. Any information would be appreciated as I know what a wealth of information our community could be. Unfortunately, I am in Europe and so I can The doctors here don’t do anything about anything unless its major either and I know they will brush it off as some silly sinus infection, but it happens every month and goes away in 3 days on its own, so it can Any advice is welcome. I go home to the US in 6 months and I can wait if I have to, but maybe some angel out there knows something to help. I have tried tons of medications and herbal things/natropathic and nothing works except my period being established.
Thanks in advance and sorry for the icky topic. ;)
I totally agree [2008-06-25]
This reminds me of my MIL, and how she was too. She felt she could do what she wanted because she was the children's grandmother. This is a good time to establish a few ground rules where your child is concerned, while trying not to hurt her feelings, but she should know that she has to ask you about anything that concerns activities with your children. Children depend on us for their safety, and you can't replace your child if anything happens, so you have every right to say no I don't want my child doing that. I don't mean to pry, but what does the child's father think about her doing this? If she had really thought about this she should have realized this idea about taking a 9 month old baby on a 4-wheeler is totally wrong.
Short story about ATVs [2008-06-24]
A woman I know was riding one with her 2 y/o grandson. She was turning on the 4-wheeler when it kicked into high gear and wouldn They were heading right for a tree. Basically she had to jump off while holding onto her 2 y/o grandson. The 4-wheeler then ran into a tree and did some major damage. Thankfully, no one was hurt and she did the right thing by jumping, but still. They found out that whoever had put the 4-wheeler together before they bought it had done something wrong and when she turned it caused a wire to do something weird and it made it go fast and wouldn I can't remember exactly what they said happened, but if she hadn't jumped, she would have run right into a tree at full speed with her 2 y/o grandson.
Also, there was a young kid....about 5 or 6....who was killed about a month ago on an ATV. His older brother was driving and something happened and the kid hit his head and was killed. Had he had a helmet on, he probably would have lived.
When my stepson has a friend over, we always ask the parent Asking permission is just common courtesy.
THANK YOU for all of your responses.sm [2008-06-24]
I will definitely be talking to her today about my feelings of having my daughter on the 4 wheeler and how dangerous it can be. I know she would never intentionally hurt my daughter, but it I will have to choose my words very carefully with her, but I think I will be able to get my point across. I would hate to keep her from spending time with my daughter, but if she continues to put her in danger, then I guess I will have to be there at all times. Thank you all for giving me the confidence I will need to do this! :)
groin lump [2008-06-24]
My sister told me a couple of weeks ago that she had one. Her doctor asked her if she had any sores in her nose.Oddly, she did. The infection in her nose was what caused the infected lump in the groin area.Strange, buttrue, and very often misdiagnosed.
wrong thing [2008-06-23]
I haven't read the other responses yet, but for what it's worth - not saying anything is worse than saying the wrong thing. My husband was just dx'd with CA last week, given maybe 6-9 mos. to live. My niece, whom I love dearly, said NOTHING. It really hurt my feelings. I know now that she just didn't know what to say and didn't want to say something stupid. People need to know you care, even if you stumble and say something stupid. Never be afraid to show you care.
Oy vey!!! [2008-06-23]
I think you hit the nail on the head with your last paragraph. He's probably, from the sounds of it, married...sorry hun, I'd cut him loose like yesterday!
His victims I'm sure will want part of the winnings [2008-06-22]
No matter what horrendous (sp?) crime he committed you canallowed to keep it. It's just money and I'm sure the victims will be getting a piece of it.
How do you get snakes out of your house [2008-06-22]
Now that the summer is here our kitty is such a wonderful gift giver. We have these little garden snakes and twice she has brought one inside for us. (The second one we didn Anyway...just little garden snakes (nothing like a boa) :-), but we had a hard time getting it out as it was quick moving and we didn So....anyone have any suggesting for an easy way to catch a snake to let him back outside (of course once we have put kitty in the back room so she doesnhelp us) :-)
Ever say the wrong thing [2008-06-22]
Ever say the wrong thing, and you realize as your talking trying to say something that would make them feel better that that what your saying doesn’t quite sound right so you keep trying to explain and it just gets worse and worse.
Today I was talking to someone whose wife has cancer and she started chemo a few weeks ago. I’m always caring as my mom had cancer so I know a bit of what they are going through, but of course I don’t want to say that because it would sound as though what they are going through is not that important compared to what my mom went through (which of course is not true – I love both these people). Anyway…last night his wife passed out and they had to bring her to ER (she’s better and was released). He told me it gave him a scare and made him realize how fragile life is. I told him that’s true. He then was laughing and said something in regards to life isn’t forever and we all have to move on but nobody ever wants to (or something like that) and he was laughing about it (he’s not a very serious person and usually laughs at everything), and I told him that reminded me of a movie I saw called Kingdom of Heaven when someone said you don’t’ seem upset that I’ve killed your master and the guy said to him “it was his time to go”. Talk about knowing immediately that was one of the stupidest things I could have said and I’m sure sounded insensitive. So, I tried to think of something less equally stupid to say (if such a thing was possible). But I told him sometimes its really depressing typing reports all day because there are so many people with such serious illness that it just get depressing typing them all day. Then I was thinking to myself that that made it sound as though what she is going through isn’t as important as everyone else. Not quite sure if all this was in my mind as I’m sensitive to others feelings and always want to say the right things so they will feel better (even though it may not always come out that way). I ended the conversation letting him know that what they were going through is very hard and that I was glad his wife was better and tell her that I’m thinking of her and wishing them the best. He said in an upbeat tone, thanks I will. He didn’t seem upset, but it was just a very awkward conversation and I wanted to get off before I said anything else. I don’t think he took offense to what I was saying but in these circumstances you never know and it just proved to myself that from now on its better to keep my mouth shut and not sound stupid than to say anything that makes me look so. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and do you think I’m being oversensitive. From now on a simple concerned and understanding “uh-hum” will be in my vocabulary.
he may find his own way out, but [2008-06-22]
just in case you ever run across a poisonous snake and manage to cut his head off, do not reach toward it. There is a heat sink reflex and the darn thing can still bite you.
snakes in the house [2008-06-22]
I will tell you how its done, but you should be very very careful doing this because just when you think its a tiny harmless garden snake you could be very wrong! I don't know exactly how long you are talking about, but you need to find some sort of stick, maybe handle of a duster or something of that sort. It should be the appropriate length so that if you were to grab the snake by the tip of its tail with one hand (non-dominant) you could support the snake (again depending on the length, you dont want it right behind its head but a little farther down the back)as far away from your body as possible while you carry it out. If the snake ever wiggles off of the end of the stick thats okay, just dont drop its tail because you will have to go through catching it again. Hope that helps! Just think Steve Erwin while your doing it!
Thanks [2008-06-22]
I will suggest that to the man of the house. He said just call him and he will take care of it (he just leaves the huge spiders for me) HA HA. The snakes are not long at all, maybe 7 or 8 inches long and maybe bout as round as a pen/pencil (not real big). I had no idea about the poster that said even if you cut off a snakes head (poisonous) it could still bite you. Eeeks! Now that's scary.
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