Flash back: Going postal That's so 1990s...

does anybody know how to back up [2008-06-16]
save it to a disc maybe? TIA

cutting back [2008-06-13]
nothing is in walking distance to us, so we are cutting back on our Sunday drives - hiking at the farm, swimming in a family member's pool, going camping this weekend, just trying to combine trips into town where we used to just jump in the car and go. Also trying to save money other ways - like right now even though it is 90 degrees, I have not turned the air on. Windows are open and there is a decent breeze.

They should never get their kids back [2008-06-03]
A bunch of religious freaks abusing kids. It's sick, and people who are glad to see those kids returned to the sickos are just as bad as they are.

get out and take it off the back window. good luck. [2008-05-27]
x

Can you go back to your family, at [2008-05-25]
least for a while? I Maybe if you leave, you will get some answers from him. So sorry you are going through this.

I miss fizzies. They came back out in the late 90s, but left quickly. sm [2008-05-21]
They can't compete with soda, but when I was a kid soda was a rare thing, so fizzies were wonderful.

Bassetts are prone to back problems and hip dysplasia. sm [2008-05-15]
I have three bassetts, 12, 11 and 8 years old. They are prone to back problems because of their long back. They are also prone to hip dysplasia. I think my 8 y/o possibly has it (I got him when he was 4 or 5 y/o). They can do an x-ray while he I But he Is this your first bassett? They are such loyal loving dogs!!! They are lazy and they shed a lot. Good luck with your bassett. Keep us posted.

Flash back: Going postal? That's so 1990s... [2008-05-09]

Not only that, but a few years back the USPS sm [2008-05-09]
sponsored the Tour DE France and was a MAJOR advertiser spending MILLIONS of tax payer dollars to advertise. Who the he** doesn't know who the USPS is? That ticked me off. I know: Try NOT advertising and pass some of the savings on to the consumer!!

Flash forward: If the bullied child goes postal some day, [2008-05-08]

It all comes back to you [2008-04-30]
Congratulations!! and yes it does all come back to you .....I am a mother of 3 with 6 years in between each (I think I kept forgetting how it happened!) Mine are 18, 11, and 5 and each time I felt like I was going through all the nervousness for the first time!

back pain [2008-04-30]
I had this problem so bad 3 yrs. ago that I saw a chiropractor. Actually had to have help putting my socks and shoes on. Chir. told me that my pelvis had shifted from sitting for so many years, too long at one stretch, etc. Of course, he recommended long-term tx, then maintenance adjustments. I went until the acute phase was better, then had to quit because of time and money. He did suggest using ice 20min.on/20min.off. That did help. Also, if you can do some stretching exercises a couple times a day, even for just a couple of minutes by your desk will help. I still have problems, but not nearly as severe. Good luck!

Anyone else get low back pain from sitting at the computer all day. Any [2008-04-28]
suggestions to help this.

I agree my hubby's friend is getting disability for his back [2008-04-23]
lifts equipment, helps transport it, etc. He also doesn't pay child support. what a waste of space.

I miss smoking pot, tho would never go back. [2008-04-22]
Miss cigarettes, too.

1. Go back to counseling. 2. Join a SM [2008-04-14]
divorce singles group. They are all over. Many churches have them. 3. Volunteer. You get to feel good about yourself and get to meet other people. Good luck. I've been there.

Idol Gives Back [2008-04-10]
I applaud AI for doing what they

Know how you feel, I scratch my back on doors or corners (sm) [2008-04-09]
rubbing up against them like an old cow on a tree or post. Maybe I ought to check into finding one of those too. Though my family enjoys laughing at my unusual gyrations.

No - if it comes back to your son [2008-04-08]
he may hesitate to confide in you again.

Give me a break and crawl back [2008-04-05]
into the hole you came from!

Please not the lower back... [2008-04-02]
Hip or shoulder yes, lower back...please NO!!! So trashy...MHO, of course...good day!

We did ours online and got it back within a week. [2008-03-29]
x

We did ours online and got it back within a week. [2008-03-29]
We have always done it online because it's so much faster than the mail.

Slow. Laid back or high maintenance? [2008-03-26]
x

Laid back. Cowboys or Accountants? [2008-03-26]

Most beaches have bicycles [2008-07-03]
for the sand. They are seated like a go kart, sort of, and you lean back/recline, steer with your hands on levers at the side, and pedal out in front of you (like a pedal boat, for lack of a better comparison). I've always meant to rent one. It looks like major fun to me!

Well, my better judgement said [2008-07-03]
My better judgement says to pay down on the CCs. My H wants to take 15k out of his 401k and be done with it. He says we are still young and we can still make it up. We are in our 30s. I really really hate for him to do that because I see how my Dad, Mom and MIL struggle with just living on SS alone. Also, it is a nice Band-Aid but if we don As far as this house goes, that is the one thing I am proud of is that it is almost paid off. The only thing wrong with this house really is that it is 200 small. 890 sq feet and there are 4 of us living here. 2 littler girls and H and I. It is 2 bedroom 1 bath and that 1 bath is getting harder and harder for us to deal with. H and I looked into another house a few years ago and we were shocked that the owners wanted 130k for a house that stunk and was trashed, i.e., holes in the walls, unfinished projects, a huge mess everywhere. We bought this house in 1999 for 29k. It is a rock house. It was newly remodeled, it has central heat and hair, it has a big fenced in backyard and a huge storage building H uses as a shop. We do live in West Texas so I am thinking houses are cheaper here. I have heard relatives say that up north in the bigger cities this house would be worth 100k or better.

My son was also in scouts . . . [2008-07-03]
and we were completely exhausted trying to keep up with all of the meetings, the den meetings, the outings, etc., etc. He actually did not even learn that much from it. My daughter learned a lot more from the laid back atmosphere of girl scouts than my son did. It was too rigorous and too structured. I think boys join scouting because they think it will be fun, when in all actuality, it is a lot of work . . . don't make him do it I think you will regret it.

Australian sheppard - Aussies [2008-07-03]
A friend has had several Aussies and has had problems at the vet's office. One died after it was taken in for grooming and flea dipping. She said that the only dip that can be used is that as the same for sheep??? Her daughter's dog was in for routine teeth cleaning, but the anesthsia got to him and he died. She took her current Aussie to the vet for neutering. When he came home he was lethargic. They took him back and the doctor put him on an IV to flush his system of any anesthesia? Does any of this sound familiar? Thank you

There is something called the MDR1 gene...sm [2008-07-03]
MDR1 (multi-drug resistance gene). Itfound in herding breeds likecollies, aussies, etc., and somel other breeds as well. It The only way to know is to test the dog to see if has the gene or is a carrier. (I think that just involves a cheek swab.) Were these dogs related to each other? I wonder if that gene was the cause, or if the vet was negligent, or if it was just terrible luck. It Beforesurgery,Italk to the vet and make sureI understandwhat kind of drugs and anesthetic they use, and how the dog is monitored during anesthesia and while recovering. Just like with people, there is always a risk. Some vets have all the fancy, high tech equipment for monitoring, but others relymore onan assistantto do it manually. I prefer There are not nearly as many vet anesthesiologists in the vet world as there are in human medicine. II I just read about this gene when I was helping a friend research the breed. Her first aussie died at a ripe old age of about 14 yrs old, I think, andshe has one thatyear old and has had no health problems that I know of. Isorry for your friend. To have a dog die after a flea dip of all things... and then another after routine teeth cleaning. There is always a risk with anesthesia, but we get so used to thinking it She took her current Aussie to the vet for neutering. When he came home he was lethargic. They took him back and the doctor put him on an IV to flush his system of any anesthesia? This s/l either the dog had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, or the vet went overboard and gave too much...

near the coast myself, used to love [2008-07-02]
taking the kids down there. You probably don't have jelly fish that far north, but take a small bottle of meat tenderizer in case of stings. Familiarize yourself and the kids with flags and what they mean. Undertow is a big deal, never try to swim straight back in, let the current carry you until you can get past it and then swim in. Then again, you can get far away from each other without even noticing, so look out for that. I can almost smell the beach just reading your note. I hope you have a wonderful time. Sunscreen, of course, bucket to rinse off sand from feet and legs before getting back in the car. Been too long since mine were that size.

A question about emailing. Please read. I need your help! SM [2008-07-02]
The other day my niece sent an emaill accidentally to a friend of mine whom she does not know when I sent something to the regular group of my friends and she ended up sending it him. He answered her, and then they began talking back and forth. The next day she wrote me an email telling me they talked. I wanted to talk to both of them now because I thought this was funny, so before I replied to her I put his name on as a CC. Today he replied to ME on that same email and asked some questions about her. I did not say anything bad, but just told some personal stuff about her that was not bad, just stress she is under. I clicked reply to send that to him. Did that go just to him, since he emailed me today, or did it go to both of them since both names were on the original email? I only clicked REPLY and not REPLY TO ALL. Hope I made sense. I already apologized to my niece in advance, and she is not mad. I just feel terrible about this. I love her dearly and should never have discussed anything personalregarding her life with him. Awaiting your reply! Thanks!

Some advice -- been there myself, [2008-07-02]
First of all, congrats on almost paying off that mortgage! I would love to have a $350/month mortgage payment. I watch a lot of financial shows on TV, so I hope some of the stuff I learned can help you. 1. Pay yourself first. I know this sounds hard to do, but if you put a little back each paycheck to a savings account, you can avoid getting caught in the credit card circle again. It doesn We do $40 a paycheckinto2 club accounts, $20 into a Christmas Club and $20 into a vacation club. This really helps out when those times of year come around. 2. Pay your highest interest rate credit cards first and/or lowest balance first. You say you have a credit card in the 20% range for interest with a balance of $200. Try to pay that one off ASAP, while still maintaining minimum payments on the others. Once that one is paid down, I would start on the next lowest balance (since 3 of your credit card interest rates are in the similar 20% range). You should put the money you were paying on the $200 card (after it 3. Try to make your payments as soon as you get your bill for that statement; don Interest is figured on a daily basis, so the sooner you pay it for that month, the less interest you'll end up paying. 4. The $5000 that you are planning on getting would probably be best used by paying off the credit cards for 2 reasons: 1) The interest on your house is probably a lot better rate than those on the credit cards. 2) The interest you are paying on your house can be tax deductible. If I were in your situation, I would start out with the first 3 suggestions. After you get the $5000, I would follow through with number 4. Finally, any remaining balances left, I would try to obtain a home equity loan. Home equity loans are not second mortgages. The closing costs are much less, usually not more than $100, if any. The interest on a home equity loan would be better than any of your credit card interest rates, and again, the interest paid on a home equity loan can be tax deductible. When shopping for a home equity loan, try to find one with a fixed interest rate rather than adjustable (the market You should be able to find one with a rate somewhere around 7%. Good luck to you!

my worst was 25 [2008-07-01]
Absolute worst was my 25th...my stepmom died from an aortic aneurysm. She had just gone up to change clothes for dinner and we found her dead within 5 minutes.I think dinner stayed in the oven for 3 days afterward and I have never eaten stuffed shells again. I haven As my dad said at the hospital, Happy F-ing Birthday, and he was not one to curse. But, a better one was for me was29 as I got a belly button piercing in memory of my cousin and met my DH on that birthday. Now I just try to ignore them, though 40 is rapidly approaching and I find myself feeling stuck in a rut...work to pay the bills and for gas, eat, sleep, and do it all again the next day. I wish I could go back to 21 and do it all over again!!

Was definitely 40, what a crappy year that was! [2008-07-01]
My then-husband and I had justseparated, filed for divorce, just a few days before my birthday.I told my best friend about what had happened. She told meshe had planned a surprise 40th birthday party for me, and had invited about 30 people, all the plans were laid, she didn I told her to just go ahead and have the party, we would come and just act like everything was OK, wouldn My ex got very very drunk, was a huge jerk, and then left me stranded at the party. Everyone wanted to know what was going on, I just didn What aday! LOL. Can look back at it and laugh now, though. 25 was my hardest, as far as worrying about my age. You know, that song got to me, Younger women, from 18 on up to 25. Ha. Now I

I'm not really sure. [2008-07-01]
She said she was and then went to the doctor who said she was too. I don I was just under the understanding that you could get pregnant but the woman Now, I have heard of some rare cases where they have attached to organs, but that is at a huge risk for the mother and the unborn fetus with internal bleeding being a huge complication and more often than not they are miscarried. However, with her not having a menstrual period for 13 years.....I I don My MIL said she wouldn There are much more deserving people who want a baby so bad and can This woman is just a complete ignoramus. She is just white trash. I hate to say that....but she is. She lies. She smells of BO and tobacco. My sister-in-law met the supposed father of her twins in an internet chat room. He is a truck driver. Now that she told him she is pregnant, he won What the heck? I mean really! Should I just call Jerry Springer and get it over with? LOL

We just got a Garmin Nuvi 350 [2008-07-01]
We My husband and I are both directionally challenged. We always seem to get lost. We haven We also looked up local stuff on it and it was very accurate. We got it from QVC, that way we have 30 days to try it out. If we don Can We ordered it the other week when everything was on easy pay for 5 payments. The total cost (shipping and a dash mount) was $305.00 After reading the reviews, we opted to get the bean bag dash mount, so we could put it in either vehicle.

Thanks for your concern, but sm [2008-07-01]
I disagree with you concerning the medical bill. I have watched enough People If we didn They We pay a premium every week to have insurance, and they shouldn't and won't benefit from that. This is a neighbor who lives down the street from us. They Our daughter was friendly with their daughter. We They moved in a month before we did. We have contacted an attorney who will have to help us settle this. These people have very little, if any, remorse. They had their dog out without a leash just a few weeks after this incident next door to our house! I had to ask them twice to put the dog up. My daughter was screaming and crying in the meantime! I don This was a very traumatic event for my daughter. I didn She had to run back home with blood dripping from her hand onto the street and sidewalk. How do you think it's fair for someone to pay $87 for this trauma that their dog inflicted? We were trying to be the nice neighbors and not sue from the beginning when everyone was telling us to sue. We thought we could work this out. I told the attorney that we want to sue for the maximum amount, including our lost wages. If I had a dog that did this to another child, I would be devastated and would probably even get rid of the dog. I couldn I think $800 was very reasonable.

Our dog bit a girl "that was pulling his hurt ear" [2008-07-01]
Well the girl So, you need to contact the police again and find out how you can go about filing a claim. My parentsprovoked the dog. The provoked part didn So, I guess what I am trying to say here is that my parents were your neighbors and they got sued and their insurance premium went up. We I would have to bet though that the foster parents of the bitten dog probably got legal assistance for free too, since they had about 10 foster kids and were getting a fat check each month and obviously not supervising these kids for that girl to have pulled my dog My dog jumped our fence and cut his ear, that girl pulled on the dog I highly doubt that child really need the surgery and probably never even got the surgery, but those foster parents I That may sound harsh and by all means I know that not all foster parents are irresponsible, but in my opinion, my parents got the raw end of the deal. Good luck whatever you decide.

How exactly is your daughter going [2008-07-01]
What does your child need money for? You say itback to normal. Dragging her through court will not help her overcome her fear of dogs. Instead, you should be concentrating your efforts on having the dog impounded. Soon you will be known as the neighbor quick to sue. You I I got the impression from your original post. You said very little about the emotional details of the situation. You primarily discussed the money aspect of it. If I I just didn You even mentioned you watch People These shows put ideas into people My kids play baseball. They get hit with baseballs all the time when they Do I have the right to sue the parents of that child who hit them? How would that help them?

The end of a friendship [2008-07-01]
My girlfriend came over one day and was chatting with me on the sofa. I had just gotten home from the hospital from having a hysterectomy and she came to pick me up to go see another friend of hers who was in the hospital having just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer (I couldn't drive yet). My 2 dogs started scuffling over a bone and my friend got an extremely tiny, a little larger than a pin prick mark on the back of her ankle (either from one of the dog's teeth or a sharp end of the bone, hard to tell). I gave her antiseptic wash, a bandage, said I was sorry and thought that was the end of it. We went to visit our friend. Awhile later, I answered the door to be served with a summons. We were being sued by my friend. I want you to know that this bite did not even bleed. She had a tattoo right in the area and when she took pictures of the bite for her attorney, it was very, very hard to see a mark at all. So, anyway, by the time it went to court (and here is a very ironic thing, the day my husband and I got up and ready to go to court, my sweet Barney, my Schnauzer, died). Well, between pictures of the injury and her poor performance on the stand (oh God it was unbelievable the way she tried to beef up the whole story), the jury came back with a guilty plea for us. They had to, because our dog or the bone did bite her. They awarded her the amount her insurance did not cover and I believe 1 or 2 missed days from work. It came to about $1,500. We saw her in the parking lot when we left, she was crying. She was expecting the big payday and it didn't happen. However, the 10 year friendship did end. We were Girl Scout leaders together for most of those years, our daughters were best friends, but I could never want to be friends with someone who would do such a thing and consider it well, after all, the insurance will pay. So be careful what you are expecting. Expect the whole thing to take a long time to get to court and the results to be perhaps less than you expect. Now, maybe your daughter is significantly scarred by the dog bite. I don't know and don't want to offend you with my story. Also, hopefully you have pictures that you took right away when it happened. You will probably need them. Plus you will have to be able to find a lawyer who will take it to court for you. My ex-friend's lawyer was about as inept as could be. I almost felt sorry for her.

If it was really significant, I would [2008-07-01]
think the final cost would be more than $800. My niece was mauled by a dog and spent about a week in the hospital. She was 4 years old at the time. It was the saddest thing seeing her in that hospital bed with her whole head swollen up. The dog bite ripped out a couple of her still-forming permanent teeth and she ended up with quite a nasty scar along one cheek. Most of the stitches were in her scalp. My sister and her husband had to sue the homeowner It took quite a while to sort it all out. They ended up with a settlement that would after 15 years of very modest growth pay for her college and also any future medical bills. She has had revision of that scar on her face, but she is 19 years old now and still hasn She ismissing bone where theimplants need to go and so will need grafting to be able to accomplish it. She was not emotionally scarred forever by the incident. She is fine, and it didn Just keep loving your daughter and shebe back to her old self. Money won Try not to let your anger overtake you. I know they are responsible, but there is no need to try and take them for as much as you can. You could conceivably ruin their future. Accidents happen. What exactly were the circumstances surrounding the bite?

If it was really significant, I would [2008-07-01]
think the final cost would be more than $800. My niece was mauled by a dog and spent about a week in the hospital. She was 4 years old at the time. It was the saddest thing seeing her in that hospital bed with her whole head swollen up. The dog bite ripped out a couple of her still-forming permanent teeth and she ended up with quite a nasty scar along one cheek. Most of the stitches were in her scalp. My sister and her husband had to sue the homeowner It took quite a while to sort it all out. They ended up with a settlement that would after 15 years of very modest growth pay for her college and also any future medical bills. She has had revision of that scar on her face, but she is 19 years old now and still hasn She ismissing bone where theimplants need to go and so will need grafting to be able to accomplish it. She was not emotionally scarred forever by the incident. She is fine, and it didn Just keep loving your daughter and shebe back to her old self. Money won Try not to let your anger overtake you. I know they are responsible, but there is no need to try and take them for as much as you can. You could conceivably ruin their future. Accidents happen. What exactly were the circumstances surrounding the bite?

True, but she is not going to get that much, - sm [2008-07-01]
maybe a few thousand, Iwhat could have happened, etc. in the end though I just let it go and switched doctors to the one who saved me. But yes, people are sue happy, but sometimes it is warranted.

A lot depends on your daughter, not just you - sm [2008-06-30]
Is she sensible? There are not many 16-y/o that have not tried drinking or smoking, it is all part of trying new things,etc. and it will happen whether you like it or not. You have to learn to trust her to make smart decisions and to make her own mistakes but obviously to guide her and make sure she doesndate had MadDog, nasty stuff, and I got obliterated as I did not realize what that crud would do to me. Lucky for me my dad was out of the country at the time. My punishment was being forced to go to school with a horrible hangover (though I puked my guts out in my friendscares). I actually went and got on the pill while still a virgin so when it did happen I would be protected. --- is your daughter that sensible and with some common sense? I did a lot of stupid things along with the smart things I doing, just got lucky and came out of it okay. At 16 you want to experiment and have fun. All my friend and I were A/B students, 1 smoked and did all sorts of drugs. I would drink and smoke pot now and them (1 x a week or so), and again parents NEVER knew it. I remember one time my dad picked me up at school after play practice (was helping out with set design), I was stoned, had been slipped angel dust and had been hallucinating about an hour or two prior, was still pretty high. He wanted me to drive home for practice (I was 16), I turned him down because I was very tired.....he never knew, I crawled into bed the minute I got home. I was very, very good at hiding it from my parents, how they didn't smell it on me I never knew, unless they just ignored it. My best friend smoked and they new that so I guess that helped cover it up a bit. Despite all this I was very anti-drug (anything but pot) as I had seen too many people messed up on coke, crank, LSD, etc. I was furious with my BF's brother as he was the one who slipped me the angel dust, I got lucky as nothing bad happened to me. He is dead now, ended up addicted to coke, then alcohol, got hepatitis, car-jacked 3 cars for drug money, and ended up in prison with a 20 year sentence, got out after 8 years in 2006, then got addicted to painkillers, they found him dead in his apartment, killed by mixing alcohol and painkillers. This just happened about 8 months ago. He was only 42. Very sad as he was a smart guy but had many, many problems and never got his life together. Obviously this does not happen to everyone who does drugs, it all depends on the person and their upbringing. His sister (one of my BFs) is a successful therapist, drinks but quit smoking several years ago, never got into hard drugs like her brother. ---sorry for the rambling, but don't go overboard and lock her up, that will just make her go in the opposite direction. Obviously you need to set limits, etc, and try to know where she is and who she is with, and set punishments if you catch her doing it and let her know what those punishments will be, whether it is grounding for a month, or no cell phone, no TV, no driving, whatever, be firm and stick to it. I know that my brothers and I all did stuff, most of which we got away with, but it was shear luck and stupidity when I look back at it. Not all kids are so lucky. I hope you daughter is one of the lucky ones.

Your SIL must be my BIL [2008-06-30]
My BIL is exactly like that. I donhow-to books and tools around if people stop by it appears like he can do things himself. HA HA. On the other hand my sister isn't much better. She has been working on a computer about as long as I have (over 20 years) but she cannot copy, cut, paste, doesn't know where her files are when she saves them, does not know what the desktop is. Cannot work with more than one program up at a time, etc, etc. (again she has a computer guy help her). When I go back to see her she asks me to help her with her computer stuff, but when I tell her she writes down everything exactly word for word and what takes me about 2 minutes to do takes me about 40 minutes to explain to her and stop because she writes slow. Very frustrating (and then my aunt calls her asking computer questions). HA HA. However, now that their business has died down and one of them is out of work and the other looking for full time work they are having to do a lot of stuff they don't know how to. Was laughing when my sister told me BIL busted the lawnmower because he crashed it into a tree. HA HA HA

Well, now it's my turn to tell my story...(Beware..this is long) [2008-06-29]
Well, I just don I was 26 years old when I met and married my husband. It will be14 years ago this August. I was a platinum blond, Swedish, 26-year-old, voluptuous virgin waiting for my prince to come. I had never dated because I was too fearful and shy. My mother always told me that my prince was coming. She just didnthe prince of darkness. It has been a nightmare, although he says it has been great with only a few bumps along the way. He is abusive in every way including verbally, mentally, emotionally, some physical although very little (not an excuse, just telling it the way it is), what I feel is sexual abuse with me but not the children,but the worst by far is his financial abuse. He has told me many, many times, Who do you think YOU are? What do you think...that you I can find a dozen more women like you. I have three children, now ages 14, 13, and 11. 14-year-old has ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. My husbandis just like this although he has never been diagnosed and never would be because in his own words, I am perfect just like God made me. There is nothing wrong with me. The problem here is you. My credit is down the toilet. Credit score is about 500. His is 800. Through the years, when the children were babies I had to feed them dry cereal with a cup of water because he wouldn One very hot night in the summer, I had to feed them generic hot dogs and pink beans, which were some kind of bean that slithered out of the can in a gelatinous material. The kids werewere dry heaving at the table. One day when I was about 8 months pregnant with my last child, he came up to me and said, Well, I I said what He said (very matter of fact), I I won If you want something, get off your f______fat a__ and get a job. I had a 6-month-old and a 1 1/2-year-old and 8 months pregnant with the third one. What!! Get a job!! Are you crazy?? He said, Oh well. Famous last words. That is all I ever hear. He has ripped out phone lines, denied us food and clothing. We have two cars. He used to hide the car I would drive around the neighborhood so I couldn He would even take the carseats. One time when I was pregnant, I had no money so my girlfriend needed a babysitter a few hours a week. She lives in Connecticut, which is about 45 minutes from my home. She could only pay $45 a week but I would drive up there four days a week to watch those kids just to get that measly $45. One day when I was leaving to go, I wanted $2 for an ice cream cone (I was pregnant at the time and that was my thing during that pregnancy). I asked him for $2 and he said no. I reached into his wallet and took $2 anyway. So he came after me. I took out the butcher knife but he ran outside to get to the car first so I couldn I put away the knife and ran out the back door to try to get to the car first but he got there before me. I reached in to try to grab the car keys out of the ignition when he rolled the window up as hard as he could. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I thought he was going to break my arm. I was able to backhand him and he unrolled the window. A little while later I ran to the neighbors to call the police because he ripped the phone lines out. I was there for about 15-20 minutes calling the police, family, and my friends to come and help. When I got back to the house, he had taken both cars (hid one in the neighborhood) and went to work. He left my 9-month-old and 1 1/2-year-old children all by themselves (and at the time I lived on a very busy street where cars would drive by at 50 mph). When I walked in, they were sitting on the living room floor screaming at the top of their lungs. The next morning I was in the shower and I lifted up my arms to wash my hair when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the underside of my arm. It was a jet black bruise about four to five inches long by about two inches wide. It was literally jet black. I was stunned. When I called the police, I told them what was going on with his abuse. I told them I was pregnant with two little ones at home. I told them I had no food. I told them and showed them the bruise and I told them I wanted to press assault charges. They said, He did that to you? I said yes. I said, I want him arrested for assault. I told them where he worked. They turned around and told me that because the incident happened the day before that there was nothing they would do and that they weren They told me to just let him lie low for a while. This happened in 1996. We are not talking the 50s here. This was just before they handed me a pamphlet on battered women and battered women The pamphlet said there does not have to be any sign of physical abuse. If you are in a situation where you simply fear for your safety, the person can be arrested. And I am sitting there pregnant with ahuge, jet black bruise underneath my arm from where he rolled my arm up in the window. This is just a few tidbits of the life I have had with him. There have been some good times and good vacations but mostly bad. We have fought so bad for years and years that I know the toll it has taken on the kids. The guilt I have is insurmountable. If he buys groceries, I have to pay him back. If he pays the phone bill, I have to pay him back. If he buys me anything or gives me a $10 or $20 bill, I have to pay him back. Most of the time, I am not allowed to go into a store with him. I went with him once to Wal-Mart and I put a $2 box of sweetener into the carriage. That was it. I am now not allowed to go into a store with him. He screams at us that he pays the rent, therefore, it is his house and we have to learn to live the way he wants us to and we should be catering to him. If we don He has told me for years that he is a king and that the house is his castle and that he has allowed us to live with him because he is kind, loving, and gracious. He will only buy oneChristmas gift for his kids and no stocking stuffers or tape or wrapping paper or anything like that.I have to do that with what I get paid to do MT work. He doesn When they were little, I would tell him that the children needed some cool clothes for summer. He would take their little pants and cut them off and then take their turtleneck shirts and cut off the turtle neck and cut off the sleeves and say, There you go. There Or he would just tell me, Go ask your sister to buy them some clothes. He has threatened to kill me and the children if I leave. He has told me that he would kill me and the children before I would ever see child support. He has a sex fettish where he wants it all the time, every day multiple times in a day if he could get it (not that he does, mind you. I stopped that crazy crap a long time ago), and I am just supposed to stop all that I am doing and fulfill his needs (even though sex for me offers virtually nothing other than soreness,swelling, and boredom and has always been like this). If I don I am very overweight, I smoke like a chimney, my credit is destroyed, I don I have less now 14 years later than I did before I married him. At least before I married him I had my own very nice car and some clothes. I don My clothes are tattered, stained, and worn. And...I had dreams of what my life was going to be like when I got married. But it certainly was not a life like this. My kids are older now and they are seeing their father for who he is. He blames me and tells me it is all the bad stuff I am telling the children. I keep telling him it is what they have seen for 14 years. They beg me to divorce him. My youngest, who is 11, was diagnosed last year with severe ulcerative colitis. He has had a flare now for the past six weeks with at least ten bouts of diarrhea with blood every day. He talks about depression a lot and always asking me what it is. When I got the call last year from his pediatrician telling me to take him to the hospital for a possible blood transfusion (this was when we got his diagnosis), Ialmost fell on the floor from fear. I called my husband at work to tell him he needed to come home. He said, I can I have to work. He said, Don His red blood cell count had dropped to 7.2 froma normal of 12 because of his bleeding. He came to the hospital when he got out of work. He showed up at 6:00 p.m. We went outside and talked for a bit and then about 20 minutes after he showed up, he said, Well, I have to go home to eat and shower. I When I got angry, he said Hey, I I need to rest. Besides, there We still didn I didn I was scared to death. But he had to go home to eat and shower and rest!!!! I think that was the beginning of the end for me. I once read something on these boards that someone posted saying Marriage is not supposed to be a good deal for one and misery for the other. That is what my life has been. My marriage was a great deal for him...kids that he never has to pay for (I mean nothing...not school projects and believe me there are a ton of them, not clothes, not shoes, notebooks, backpacks, nothing), free sex, and a wife that he doesn I believe in my soul that my marriage was a good business deal for him. If you knew my husband, you would laugh at that statement because he is extremely uneducated and talks like a mentally retarded person. People in the past have actually asked me if he was mentally retarded. He thinks that if my son would drink lots and lots of water, that that will cure his ulcerative colitis and makes fun of me and insults me and everyone else. Itell him he is a moron and he doesn His abusive mother made them drink nothing but water. She would not buy them anything or strive for a better life. They lived in a nightmare life. So now he gets very angry when we woncure everything. He tells us that he is trying to show us how to live right but we just won He tells this to other people too including our landlord. He has the most disgusting habits. He picks scabs and eats them, he has eczema and psoriasis so he is one huge flake, which he enjoys picking off chunks and dropping them in a pile on the floor, he passes unbearable gas (like every two or three minutes that has such a horrid stench it makes all of us nauseous) and then flips out if we spray a room spray. He will actually grab the can and scream that this is his house and we are all just disgusting to live with and just impossible to live with. He just had a fight with my 12-year-old daughter tonight because he was passing tons and tons of gas and she sprayed a room spray. He got up in her face screaming at the top of his lungs at 11:00 at night that this is his house. He will pass gas all he wants and that he won She was crying and begging me to divorce him. She kept saying, You said it would be better for the family if you stayed married to him but it It won Well, I could go on and on. It has been 14 years of this but I think you get the picture. I have no money. I don I have a son who is going to need ongoing frequent medical care and I am afraid he will cancel the insurance if I do anything to get rid of him. I have a great fear for our safety. He has major problems with having to give up his money so to haveto pay child support will send him over the edge. He is a pathological liar so you can He told me, I would never allow anyone to judge me like that. You can tell the judge to kiss my balls. He seems to expect the absolute highest standards from the children and I but he doesn Never has and never will but will shove it down my throat when he doesn Well, any advice. I really am looking for legal advice for anyone else who has been through this. I know I need to get rid of him...for the kids sake. They need to see that life is not like this and not all men do this and that you don My daughter, who just turned 13, says to me she hates men with a passion. I told my niece that I felt like I was dying. I never, never, never, never leave my house except to go to Dunkin Donuts up the street to get a coffee. I haven And that is three hours probably once every two months. I am lonely, isolated, and ragingly angry. I want to go back to school but when I talk about that, he poo poos it saying I should go back in five or ten years or 15 years when my bills are paid and I can afford it. HELLO????? I am going to be 43 in October. Maybe I should just wait to go back to school until I Well you get the picture. If you By the way, when I bring up any of his abuse to him, he tells me I don Funny, he always remembers every time I swear at him though. Has never forgotten a single time.

My story [2008-06-29]
I went through very similar circumstances. I left about 3 times. Finally in 1998 I made an appointment with a Christian psychiatrist and he agreed to go to see her. She diagnosed him as being bipolar and Baker Acted him. Today I can honestly say, he is not the same man. He is warm and caring and actually helps me with my medical transcription business. He is on proper medication. He had proper counseling and support groups. He was in the hospital for 6 weeks and then went to a 3/4 house, where he received proper counseling and support groups, which were mandatory. I thank God that he is better today.At the time in 1991 I wish that someone would have diagnosed him as having that propblem, as my older daughter moved out and he has no relationship with her at all and knows that it was his fault back then. Who knew? It was a disease that was in the closet so-to-speak, but now I am very concerned about our older daughter. We have a younger daughter who does forgive him and lives with us who is 25 years old. I hope you get the help you need before it is too late.

30! [2008-06-29]
Mine was at 30. I am 31 now. I just keep having this feeling like I haven We can also get on with our life, find our next house and start thinking about having a family, so I didn't cry this year, but next year my birthday will be great because I will be home in the US where I want to be instead of here where I am miserable!

I would lay down the law now s/m [2008-06-29]
I was a goodie-goodie, too, or so my mom thought. I was an honor student (actually graduated second in my class), ran with a pretty good crowd, never did drugs. I did, however, try alcohol (wanting to fit in with some of the wilder crew) and cigarettes. The cigarette thing didn My mom noticed the smell on me almost immediately and told me if she ever caught me smoking, she would make me eat a pack of cigarettes. At the time, I took her pretty seriously; though, looking back now, I doubt she would have actually made me eat it. As for the alcohol, tried that once, too, in high school. Fortunately, I didnbeer and since that I chose not to drink. I was heavily involved in SADD and I think that weighed in a lot for me. My biggest area of concern for my parents was the whole dating/sex thing. I had a steady boyfriend for my sophomore and junior year and ended up taking it to that level. When I finally told my mom about it, she freaked, as did my dad. I was grounded for 6 months and she kept her word. I went no where with my friends. Eventually, I was allowed to date again, my senior year, but not with that guy. Putting us on hold for 6 months seemed to do the trick. I realized he didn The guy I dated throughout my senior year was good enough to wait for me, and I ended up marrying him several years later (after college). 13 years and still going, so far so good! So, be strict with your daughter, but be fair and consistent. She needs to know there are limits and that if she chooses to continue with these actions, there will be adverse consequences. After all these years, I'm glad my mom did what she did or I probably would have ended up pregnant before I graduated high school and who knows what kind of life I would have had then.