I've dealt with this on both sides.

Yep, I've thought of all that but knowing her [2008-07-03]
xx

I've got the same problem [2008-06-19]
For over the past month, I have been sleeping horribly. Around 11 p.m. I doze off watching tv and then I wake up about 1 or 2. I go to bed and from that point on, I am continually waking up. My husband does snore which bugs me. He wears the breathe right strips but they don't help that much. But even nights when he is nor snoring, I still do not sleep well. Last night I only got around 3 hrs of sleep. I would take any suggestions too of help with sleep. I have tried herbal teas and they do not help any.

I've had bad experiences with them, but I disagree with the laws... [2008-06-12]
We used to have a rottie (died last year) and they have the same stigma attached to them. We were actually denied homeowners insurance with many different companies because we owned a rottie. The funny thing is, he was the biggest sweet dog you ever met, a giant teddy bear. Our chocolate lab was 100 times more likely to be aggressive/hurt someone, but of course they don That said, I Because of my experiencw ith my rottie though, I don Dogs should be judged on an individual basis ONLY.

I've been graying since I was 15 (about [2008-06-09]
23 years now), and my roots now grow in gray and at last check I was probably 75% gray. I was using Natural Instincts as I was afraid to go permanent and didn't want to pay a salon, but my cousin dyed my hair with Clairol Perfect 10 which is permanent, and my hair looked the best it has in years. I waited about 5 months in between dyes and the color faded out naturally without leaving gray roots...how wonderful is that! Now I swear by that. There is a slight odor until you rinse it out and use the conditioner, but that goes right away. Hope this helps. Isnsupposed to dye their hair?

I've lived it, both sides and it goes both [2008-06-09]
I've been on both sides and I have seen stepchildren thrown in the middle, guilty parents on both sides. I have seen the new single mom (now married mom) want her husband all for herself and act SHOCKED when she realizes she can't have him all for herself...it's not always a fairytale ending. It does sound like the child is playing her and it's obvious why, but I witnessed first hand a grown woman manipulate her stepchildren and husband, until she had both turned against her. Instead of expecting all the attention, perhaps your time would be better spent with your stepson NOT expecting anything from your husband, since you're not getting it, it sounds but instead, go out of your way to give him attention. Take him somewhere just the two of you and eat at his favorite fast food place, go to the zoo, something without dad. When he has to depend on just you and dad isn't there for comparison and pity, you might see an improvement for the better.

Thanks! Excellent website! Unfortunately, I've [2008-06-02]
plastic sheet (my cat PREFERS plastic, so it attracts her), and the hamster bedding. Considering the amount of litter I go through in a week, the hamster bedding may be a bit pricey, but at this point anything is worth a try. One thing I should point out is that she used to poo in the box, and pee on the floor. Recently she's begun to do the opposite. Things I've done include: - Vet: Blood & urine done, no evidence of infection or kidney problems. - Crate training. (Effective for a while, but not forever. She's on her 4th crating session right now.) - I'm anal about the litter boxes - scoop them out (I have FOUR!) every time I walk past & see something in them. - Currently using Feliway Comfort Zone, don't see any improvement. - If I stand there and watch her, I can say in your box, and she'll use it. The minute I leave the room, though, or in the middle of the night, then she's back to messing on the floor at night. She is currently being crated all night so that I don't have to spend the first hour of every morning cleanin up after her. - Re: Stress, it's probably a factor. She's a naturally tense & wary cat. (Adopted from a rescue, which she ended up in because of her litter problem. Original owner was going to euthanize her at the age of 1 year, & vet called rescue.) - I don't use ammonia-containing cleansers on the floor (ammonia encourages repeat offenses), but do use vinegar alternating with Nature's Miracle For Cats. - Have tried tossing out older cat boxes and replacing with brand-new ones. Have also tried using a VERY big box for more elbow room, but she liked that the least. - Have been using rewards when I see her even set foot in the box. It works, but only when I'm there watching. She's a wiley little devil. Another thing I haven't tried yet (because of the expense, and also because the Feliway has proven to be a bust) is something like Prozac. Has anyone out there tried an SSRI for their floor-peeing cat? Did you find it effective?

After all I've done for my children, [2008-05-28]
pain when I get older and need them when I That poster doesn My Mom had surgeries and just basically wanted to see me. All I If you have the time to take off until your mother sees better days and she will or she wouldn If not, don trust me!

You've got to be joking - you are so insensitive [2008-05-27]
I read this post and couldn't believe it. She asked for positive feedback and you tell her this? What kind of a person are you? Sheesh. Her husband certainly does not sound like he has a lot of good qualities. To write a letter to your wife pointing out all the flaws. And then you tell her she is spoiled and unthankful???? With friends like you who needs enemies. “Ms. Done” sounds like she needs encouragement and reinforcement and some love and self esteem. Nobody should listen to your words. I don’t know who is worse you or her husband. To Done: My situation is not as bad as yours but I’ve had my moments. Luckily I don’t have children, so I don’t have to face the situation and struggles that you do. I have been married for 25 years. My husband doesn’t beat me. We laugh a lot, but sometimes I can’t put it into words but sometimes I too feel like I’m no longer in love with him (not all the time, just moments here and there). Other days I just go through the motions of breathing, working, and daily routine stuff. People who don’t know you or your situation will just tell you in an instant to leave but its not that easy and they are not standing in your shoes. Years ago mine told me I was dumpy and acting like an old lady (I was 43 at the time). He told me that when I sit and do cross stitch I look like an old lady. He tells me in an instant if I'm doing something wrong. Once time I said something to him and he came back with “you must have been a mean kid growing up saying hurtful things. I’ll bet you didn’t have many friends”. Talk about being taken aback I was too shocked to even think of a response to say. For the most part we laugh a lot, but there are days that I wonder why in the world I hastened into marriage and believe that I have done something horrible thing in a previous life and this is karma. But that’s just my struggles I will deal with. On another note, I am a child of an unhappy marriage. I won’t put blame on either my mom or my dad. They were going through their times and my sister and I were too young to understand the troubles or feelings they were going through. My baby sister died when she was 16 months old from meningitis and I know that was a big strain. Anyway…my dad stayed until my sister and I were old enough to understand what was going on, but it was not a happy home with all the fighting. When I turned 16 my mom and dad sat down with my sister and I and told us they were separating. I think I probably shocked them both because I said to them “It’s about time”. I told them all they do is fight and if they are not happy together why are they staying together. I said as long as they were happy I was happy and if being separated means them being happy then I’m for it as long as I can see them both as much or whenever I want to. You might want to talk about seeing a counselor together and maybe they can help work out the problems with you and your husband. I don't know your husband or what he's like. I'm sure he has some good qualities, but if he does not want to contribute and work it out and thinks he is perfect and does nothing wrong and that writing you a letter pointing out your flaws is an okay way for a husband to treat his wife and if he won’t get counseling and doesn’t want to keep the marriage together then there are always other options. I think most kids are a lot tougher than parents believe, and if you decide to leave with the help of a counselor or someone (other than your husband) to talk to them I’m sure they will make it through just fine. I wish my mom and dad had divorced a long time before they actually did so they would have been happier. It was very hard to see them both unhappy. On the other hand you could be like me Irish friend and dish back to your husband what he gives to you. I’d say you should write him a letter pointing out all his flaws and insecurities. Then when he doesn’t seem too happy about it tell him… “There see how it feels? You don’t like it do you”. Anyway…I wish you the best and hope you find happiness soon, and please don’t listen to EvaEv. She sounds like a real piece of work. – Hey maybe she is your husbands sister. Sounds like two peas in a pod! Just remember….you have great worth, and you are a good person and you deserve to be happy and your kids will be much happier knowing you are happy.

If you've been to a counselor who suggests [2008-05-27]
My husband and I are in counseling and she has never once suggested counseling, even in the beginning when I felt like you, just giving up, unloved, etc. I am amazed at how far we have come during our counseling and we Divorce is a horrible thing to do to children. For counseling to work, you both have to put your whole heart and soul into it. The counselor is there to do what you want and if you say you want to save your marriage, then that It is worth saving...God bless...I'll be praying for you!

If MT is all you've ever done, and yer too old for - sm [2008-05-13]
going back to school to be a viable option if yer already workin' a 12 to 14-hr day, then yes, we ARE struggling. The only way an MT can make money these days is to marry it.

I think you've hit upon the answer! - (sm) [2008-05-13]
Maybe what we need to do is leave the U.S., renounced our U.S. citizenship, become a legal citizen of some other country (preferably a Third World one), and then SNEAK BACK IN! Then we'd get all the freebies, too!

I've been boycotting the Colonel ever since I saw - [2008-05-11]
that undercover film of poultry slaughterhouse workers kicken chickens, stomping on them, and throwing them against the walls. I eat meat & poultry, but I feel that if an animal exists purely to be someone's meal, they should be treated respectfully and humanely. As for gas prices, they are over the $4 mark in most parts of California now. And my last trip to Safeway for groceries had me in sticker shock. I can't afford beef or fish, and am boycotting chicken. Yogurt is ridiculous... how tiny are they going to make those little cups, anyway? I can't afford that, either. I'm being forced into a diet of vegetables and whatever cereal is stale-and-on-sale, which I eat dry, because milk costs even more than gasoline.

I've dealt with this on both sides. [2008-05-07]
I have 3 boys. My oldest son is very giving and caring (sounds like your daughter). He Different responses apply to each individual bully. Some bullies can be dealt with best by the school or their parents. These are usually the kids who come from good homes and their parents don I generally deal with the parents if they If not, I go straight to the school. Other bullies come from parents who donthey do. These kids are the hardest to deal with.I have had to face these bullies myself. I flat out told them if they continue to pick on my son or bully him, I will call the police and they will be dealt with as a juvenile deliquent. This seemed to stop things pretty quick. I also followed that up with the letting school know what was going on because I had a feeling the child might pick on my son when I The school was great about this and were well aware of this bully It alerted them to keep a closer watch on my son at recess when this kid was around. The other side of the fence is my 7-year-old son. I had gottena call from his teacher early in the school year that he was bullying a couple of smaller kids. My son had a late birthday, so I held him for kindergarten, making him a year older than most of his peers. There didn From that first call I got from his teacher, I made it very clear to him that I would not tolerate bullying from him. I also told him the school would be watching him and if I hear any reports of him bullying others, I would punish him at home as well. Other than a few minor kid things, he I even explained to him that because he was bigger than the little kids, he needed to protect them and watch over them like a big brother. He I was very proud of him and needless to say, he has a lot of girlfriends now. My point here is that not all parents know what their kids are like outside of the home. It Unfortunately, she was already hurt and angry when you talked to her and it probably didn I would suggest sticking with the teacher from now on with this one, and in the future, bring any problems immediately to the teacher Most importantly, I have also taught my children to stand up for themselves, use a firm voice, but walk away if it The only time I allow my children to hit is if they Our school has a zero tolerance for fighting, and it just wouldn Hang in there. She It goes on and on. In that case, I They get less catty as they get older (I hope).

I used to let it slide, but I've been married 23 years. [2008-05-05]
Probably about year 5 or so, when we had children and she felt it necessary to comment on my mothering, I finally just gave it right back to her. She has four children, and the only one who turned out well was my husband, and I'm quite sure it's because he spent a lot of time away from home when he was growing up. She lives just down the street, and now that we know where we stand, we have no problems.

I've done this...and.. [2008-04-29]
I was a struggling single parent working for a doctor and in the 10 years I worked for him I had to get an advance twice. He was very kind and thought nothing about helping me. He also gave me a loan to get out of debt with a 3-year payback plan ($50 out of each check). This way he also insured that I would stay at least 3 year until my debt was worked off..LOL..so it worked for us and I ended up staying 10 years and I still do fill-in work for him. He saved a single mom's life..I would never ask a large employer, but usually small companies are very kind to their employees as they want to keep you..

I've been ready for Brooke to go home for weeks! [2008-04-23]
Never have liked her. She seems fake, her voice is weak, and I hate that little pouty face she makes all the time. No clue why she is still there. I'm still cheering for David Cook.

p.s. make sure you check your tire pressure... I've been reading it makes a diff. nm [2008-04-22]

I've done this 12 yrs and I've had to take breaks sm [2008-04-19]
Took a break and worked at my kids preschool one year, worked at a hospital one year, took a couple months off once. It does burn you out because it takes all of your concentration. When I worked at the hospital as a secretary I could not believe how easy the job was ;-) I was sooo used to just getting paid for actual work that when I had a conversation with a coworker or a phone call or took lunch, I felt like I was getting away with a lot! I hope your break works out!! I wish you lived close-by, we could take turns watching each others kids ;-)

I've been married 13 years and [2008-04-17]
I would never allow my husband to tell me who I can and cannot see. If I were you, I wouldn As you said, who is he to say where your sister can and cannot go. As the time approaches, a week or so in advance, I would simply tell him that your sis will be in town next week and you are planning on seeing her. If he throws a fit, let him. It seems to me, he gets away with this because you let him. If the situation arises where he becomes intolerable, perhaps you could spend the night at sis Let him stay home. It's his loss, but it doesn't have to be yours as well.

2 sides to the story [2008-04-16]
First of all I think there Look into it re: insurance etc. I can see where both of you are coming from. I don I think that she probably feels she is working hard to earn her paid time off but if she has to use it all to take everybody to the doctor what will happen if she needs to go to the doctor herself or wants to take time off for a vacation or mental health day. You have to admit she has a point. My advice would be not to alienate your sister. You are going to have to work together to take care of your father. I would arrange a time for both of you to sit with your father and lay out the facts. With little to no eyesight, he simply cannot live completely independently any longer. If he wants to stay at home then either hire a home health aide or a live-in caregiver or one of you would have to move in with him. Avoid the word nursing home and instead suggest an independent living facility where there is assistance with daily activities such as preparing meals. Be open and honest with each other. You have your own separate lives and not only do you not want your father to feel like he is a burden, you also do not want to feel burdened. With the cost of gas these days, your sister certainly has a valid point. As far as her popping to Wal-Mart and the mall, she could have perfectly viable reasons for going to Wal-Mart including grocery shopping or perhaps purchasing your father The mall may be her escape mechanism. You both sound stressed out over this situation and you both need to take care of yourselves first and foremost before you can be expected to care for someone else. Good luck to both of you and remember that you both love each other and your father and only want the best for everyone.

I've noticed that in many... [2008-04-15]
tv shows too, even when they are speaking the drug name they say it wrong. I lmao. But I think they have to unless they have the manufacturers permission to use it or else they could get sued. But it's still like an inside joke to me whenever I hear/see it.

I've been trying and trying to vote, but [2008-04-12]
this year it is nearly impossible to get through for me. This result was very, very wrong.

I've heard it's Preparation H (too embarassed to buy it) [2008-04-02]
x

I've used canned tomatoes in tossed salad in the wintertime... [2008-03-31]
because I can't stand the plastic tomatoes they sell out of season in the store. I also use them in tuna salad, chicken salad, etc. In summer, we grow our own, but for winter the canned ones are great, especially the petite-diced.

I've personally sat down with groups of TG people [2008-03-29]
It was a therapy/support group that I attended with my son/daughter. I was the only parent there. My child was never molested or had any such issues you think are common to gay people you are acquainted with. None of the TG people I have spoken with expressed concern about any past abuse. The main issue that everyone had in common and kept discussing was the crushing rejection they received from society and their family. Many were shocked and envious that I as a parent was at the meeting, because their own parents would no longer even speak to them. If a child is born with gender issues, we make it very clear to them the minute the issue arises that we donnormal for so long (after WE forced them to), punish, ignore and hate them, cut them out of the family, weep and moan from the shame of it all and what people will think of them and us. We even tell them we'd prefer they were dead! Because we'd rather deny and eliminate our own child than deal with THIS problem. How very sad for us all. We need to focus on what is wrong with US that we would react this way to a loved one with a very tough problem. Only then can we work on how society sees it.So for every transgendered person you hear of - know this - they are dealing with a horrible backlash from the people they love AS WELL as the gender issue. Most of them contemplate suicide daily (statistically 50% do commit suicide - the other half that die untimely deaths are murdered). Despise them if you wish, your opinion won't make it go away. The next transgendered person born could be your child or grandchild, your neice or nephew, your best friend's new baby. I pray they will each have someone in their lives that will love them anyway, who doesn't choose gender as more important than the human being.

I think she means [2008-07-03]
that with unstable dry sand, or even with sand of a wetter consistency, if a hole is too deep (over a child make whatever limit you feel safe with. There's nothing to fear if they keep it shallow. This happened to a man I knew years ago with dirt, not sand, but I agree it would be possible in sand and probably easier done. He was working in a ditch deeper than he was tall, and when it collapsed on top of him, it killed him. I do believe that is what 'SM' is warning against.

Most beaches have bicycles [2008-07-03]
for the sand. They are seated like a go kart, sort of, and you lean back/recline, steer with your hands on levers at the side, and pedal out in front of you (like a pedal boat, for lack of a better comparison). I've always meant to rent one. It looks like major fun to me!

This one has struck a chord with me. [2008-07-03]
I have been an assistant scoutmaster for 8 years now. Yes, I am a mom, and there are women scout leaders out there! My job with our troop was Webelos-to-Scout Transition Coordinator. My job was to help our youngest boys and their families become part of our troop and to make sure that the boys have fun and get all that they can from the scout experience. Summer camp was always the make or break time for the youngest boys. You didn't say if your son is a new scout, but I assume this is his first time at summer camp. Homesickness and living in the outdoors are always the biggest hurdles during the first summer camp. You are not over-reacting because your son is having a bad time. That's a simple fact, and he deserves to have those feelings validated and addressed. Since I'm female, I tend to approach the first-time scout's misery in a different way, and over the years, a lot of men have disagreed with my methods. But, they work. Men seem to like the stick-it-out approach, and I've seen some of the worst leaders actually tease and belittle homesick boys or boys who don't take easily to the outdoor experience. That really finishes off the boy for scouting. He quits. Do you think that is what is happening with your son? At summer camp with our first year scouts, I always listen to them, validate their fears, and then try to help them overcome their fears with knowledge. If spiders or animals scare them, we go to the nature lodge and find out all about them. We do a good cleaning of their tents or lean-toWell, it I and my fellow adult leaders have spent a lot of nights sitting around picnic tables talking to scouts, sometimes making a game of listening for owls or watching spiders crawl across the table in the lantern light. And if boys do call home, I would run like crazy to the camp phone to call the parents first to let them know what was going on and to tell them to expect a call from their son. In that way, parents were prepared, and we could coordinate our efforts to help their son. Basically, it just takes some compassion. The hard core approach doesn't work. Why do I go through all the trouble? Because I know the value of the scouting program. When it's done well, it goes a long way to help parents raise up honorable men. In our troop, our scouts learn to be compassionate, because we've modeled that sort of behavior for them. They learn about living in the outdoors, and learn to take care of themselves and others. That gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel capable. They learn problem-solving skills and teamwork. These are all important life skills, and when scouting is done well, boys who come through are lightyears ahead of most of their non-scout peers by the time they are 18. But that only happens when it's done right. There are great troops and adult volunteers in the BSA, but there are unfortunately some real losers, as well. It's true that scouting is not for everyone, but there is no reason for so many boys to be pushed away because of issues that just need a little careful thought and attention. This is one of my most passionate issues with scouting. Even the BSA knows that the first year scout is the most likely to quit, and they spend a lot of money and time training volunteers on this subject. It seems that some adults don't learn as quickly as others, though. And there is a core of leaders who like to remember what it was like when they were boy scouts, and won't move ahead or adapt their techniques for the boy of today's times. A new 11-year-old scout should not be expected to act like a man and tough it out. He's still a boy, and living in the woods is usually a totally new experience for him. MOST boys are scared at first, but the men and other boys hate to admit it. A new scout just needs some patience, understanding and time to mature. He needs to feel safe even when he's struggling, and he needs to know that he is supported. I don't know all the details of your son's experience, but if you think that what I've said might apply to him, you might consider looking for another troop, one that will provide him with a good, supportive program. Not all scout troops are the same. Each has a different personality, so perhaps another troop would suit your son better. If that's not possible, or if at this point he is completely turned off by scouting, there are certainly other activities out there that can teach him the things that are learned through scouting. Encourage him to find out what his talents are and help him to explore all of the possibilities that life has to offer. I'm so sorry to hear that your son is not enjoying scouts. It really breaks my heart when I hear such stories, because I know that the adult volunteers could handle the situation better. My own sons had a hard time the first time they went to camp, which is why I got involved. I knew there was a better way to deal with such a common problem. My oldest, who is now 20, still works with scouts, and my youngest will receive his Eagle Scout rank in just a couple of weeks. I have seen many, many boys' lives changed for the better by the scouting program, including my own sons. I hope that your son can also have a great experience in scouting. I'm always happy to talk about scouting, and if you'd like to send me a private message, I'd be glad to share more of my thoughts on the subject.

There is something called the MDR1 gene...sm [2008-07-03]
MDR1 (multi-drug resistance gene). Itfound in herding breeds likecollies, aussies, etc., and somel other breeds as well. It The only way to know is to test the dog to see if has the gene or is a carrier. (I think that just involves a cheek swab.) Were these dogs related to each other? I wonder if that gene was the cause, or if the vet was negligent, or if it was just terrible luck. It Beforesurgery,Italk to the vet and make sureI understandwhat kind of drugs and anesthetic they use, and how the dog is monitored during anesthesia and while recovering. Just like with people, there is always a risk. Some vets have all the fancy, high tech equipment for monitoring, but others relymore onan assistantto do it manually. I prefer There are not nearly as many vet anesthesiologists in the vet world as there are in human medicine. II I just read about this gene when I was helping a friend research the breed. Her first aussie died at a ripe old age of about 14 yrs old, I think, andshe has one thatyear old and has had no health problems that I know of. Isorry for your friend. To have a dog die after a flea dip of all things... and then another after routine teeth cleaning. There is always a risk with anesthesia, but we get so used to thinking it She took her current Aussie to the vet for neutering. When he came home he was lethargic. They took him back and the doctor put him on an IV to flush his system of any anesthesia? This s/l either the dog had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, or the vet went overboard and gave too much...

Thanks, but I planning on being [2008-07-02]
right in the ocean with them or my husband will be. We But thanks for the reminder. Glad to hear your situation turned out okay.

have you ever thought about sm [2008-07-02]
have you ever thought about transferring some balances from the cc to a 0% interest credit card?? you can find those 0% for 12 months up to a year and a half and if you pay the balance off before that time is up, then there is no interest charged to your balance (hope that makes sense). that transferred some of my high percentage rate cc to a zero interest and that really helps me. i would cut up the cc that have the high interest. my only cc that has interest on it is only 6.9%. i have a bigger balance on it than i would like ($6800), but that is the only cc i have with an interest rate on it. my other ones (three of them) are no interest. i don congrats on your house!!! i, too, would also take that 5 grand and put it on a cc, not the house. good luck!!!

Maybe that's why your scared. Your thinking [2008-07-01]
too big (moving out of state). Money? If you Hope there are no children involved. Being scared is not a reason to stay with your husband. Why continue to be miserable? I feel sorry for you. Sounds like you live to please others and the heck with your own feelings.

Is this possible? [2008-07-01]
Okay. I have an in-law who is in her 40s, had a partial hysterectomy (just left the ovaries), hasn Did I miss something here? How is this possible? Yes, I understand that the ovaries still produce eggs and they can be fertilized if sperm would get to it but from everything I've seen, there is no way she could possibly carry it to full-term....nor should she want to as it is very dangerous not only to her but the unborn child(ren). I just wonder if she doesn All I know is I hope to God this isn She is just not fit to be the mother of the 2 teenage girls she has let alone a new baby or twins. Sheesh! I truly hope this isn't possible!!!!!!!

Thanks for your concern, but sm [2008-07-01]
I disagree with you concerning the medical bill. I have watched enough People If we didn They We pay a premium every week to have insurance, and they shouldn't and won't benefit from that. This is a neighbor who lives down the street from us. They Our daughter was friendly with their daughter. We They moved in a month before we did. We have contacted an attorney who will have to help us settle this. These people have very little, if any, remorse. They had their dog out without a leash just a few weeks after this incident next door to our house! I had to ask them twice to put the dog up. My daughter was screaming and crying in the meantime! I don This was a very traumatic event for my daughter. I didn She had to run back home with blood dripping from her hand onto the street and sidewalk. How do you think it's fair for someone to pay $87 for this trauma that their dog inflicted? We were trying to be the nice neighbors and not sue from the beginning when everyone was telling us to sue. We thought we could work this out. I told the attorney that we want to sue for the maximum amount, including our lost wages. If I had a dog that did this to another child, I would be devastated and would probably even get rid of the dog. I couldn I think $800 was very reasonable.

How exactly is your daughter going [2008-07-01]
What does your child need money for? You say itback to normal. Dragging her through court will not help her overcome her fear of dogs. Instead, you should be concentrating your efforts on having the dog impounded. Soon you will be known as the neighbor quick to sue. You I I got the impression from your original post. You said very little about the emotional details of the situation. You primarily discussed the money aspect of it. If I I just didn You even mentioned you watch People These shows put ideas into people My kids play baseball. They get hit with baseballs all the time when they Do I have the right to sue the parents of that child who hit them? How would that help them?

Well, now it's my turn to tell my story...(Beware..this is long) [2008-06-29]
Well, I just don I was 26 years old when I met and married my husband. It will be14 years ago this August. I was a platinum blond, Swedish, 26-year-old, voluptuous virgin waiting for my prince to come. I had never dated because I was too fearful and shy. My mother always told me that my prince was coming. She just didnthe prince of darkness. It has been a nightmare, although he says it has been great with only a few bumps along the way. He is abusive in every way including verbally, mentally, emotionally, some physical although very little (not an excuse, just telling it the way it is), what I feel is sexual abuse with me but not the children,but the worst by far is his financial abuse. He has told me many, many times, Who do you think YOU are? What do you think...that you I can find a dozen more women like you. I have three children, now ages 14, 13, and 11. 14-year-old has ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. My husbandis just like this although he has never been diagnosed and never would be because in his own words, I am perfect just like God made me. There is nothing wrong with me. The problem here is you. My credit is down the toilet. Credit score is about 500. His is 800. Through the years, when the children were babies I had to feed them dry cereal with a cup of water because he wouldn One very hot night in the summer, I had to feed them generic hot dogs and pink beans, which were some kind of bean that slithered out of the can in a gelatinous material. The kids werewere dry heaving at the table. One day when I was about 8 months pregnant with my last child, he came up to me and said, Well, I I said what He said (very matter of fact), I I won If you want something, get off your f______fat a__ and get a job. I had a 6-month-old and a 1 1/2-year-old and 8 months pregnant with the third one. What!! Get a job!! Are you crazy?? He said, Oh well. Famous last words. That is all I ever hear. He has ripped out phone lines, denied us food and clothing. We have two cars. He used to hide the car I would drive around the neighborhood so I couldn He would even take the carseats. One time when I was pregnant, I had no money so my girlfriend needed a babysitter a few hours a week. She lives in Connecticut, which is about 45 minutes from my home. She could only pay $45 a week but I would drive up there four days a week to watch those kids just to get that measly $45. One day when I was leaving to go, I wanted $2 for an ice cream cone (I was pregnant at the time and that was my thing during that pregnancy). I asked him for $2 and he said no. I reached into his wallet and took $2 anyway. So he came after me. I took out the butcher knife but he ran outside to get to the car first so I couldn I put away the knife and ran out the back door to try to get to the car first but he got there before me. I reached in to try to grab the car keys out of the ignition when he rolled the window up as hard as he could. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I thought he was going to break my arm. I was able to backhand him and he unrolled the window. A little while later I ran to the neighbors to call the police because he ripped the phone lines out. I was there for about 15-20 minutes calling the police, family, and my friends to come and help. When I got back to the house, he had taken both cars (hid one in the neighborhood) and went to work. He left my 9-month-old and 1 1/2-year-old children all by themselves (and at the time I lived on a very busy street where cars would drive by at 50 mph). When I walked in, they were sitting on the living room floor screaming at the top of their lungs. The next morning I was in the shower and I lifted up my arms to wash my hair when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the underside of my arm. It was a jet black bruise about four to five inches long by about two inches wide. It was literally jet black. I was stunned. When I called the police, I told them what was going on with his abuse. I told them I was pregnant with two little ones at home. I told them I had no food. I told them and showed them the bruise and I told them I wanted to press assault charges. They said, He did that to you? I said yes. I said, I want him arrested for assault. I told them where he worked. They turned around and told me that because the incident happened the day before that there was nothing they would do and that they weren They told me to just let him lie low for a while. This happened in 1996. We are not talking the 50s here. This was just before they handed me a pamphlet on battered women and battered women The pamphlet said there does not have to be any sign of physical abuse. If you are in a situation where you simply fear for your safety, the person can be arrested. And I am sitting there pregnant with ahuge, jet black bruise underneath my arm from where he rolled my arm up in the window. This is just a few tidbits of the life I have had with him. There have been some good times and good vacations but mostly bad. We have fought so bad for years and years that I know the toll it has taken on the kids. The guilt I have is insurmountable. If he buys groceries, I have to pay him back. If he pays the phone bill, I have to pay him back. If he buys me anything or gives me a $10 or $20 bill, I have to pay him back. Most of the time, I am not allowed to go into a store with him. I went with him once to Wal-Mart and I put a $2 box of sweetener into the carriage. That was it. I am now not allowed to go into a store with him. He screams at us that he pays the rent, therefore, it is his house and we have to learn to live the way he wants us to and we should be catering to him. If we don He has told me for years that he is a king and that the house is his castle and that he has allowed us to live with him because he is kind, loving, and gracious. He will only buy oneChristmas gift for his kids and no stocking stuffers or tape or wrapping paper or anything like that.I have to do that with what I get paid to do MT work. He doesn When they were little, I would tell him that the children needed some cool clothes for summer. He would take their little pants and cut them off and then take their turtleneck shirts and cut off the turtle neck and cut off the sleeves and say, There you go. There Or he would just tell me, Go ask your sister to buy them some clothes. He has threatened to kill me and the children if I leave. He has told me that he would kill me and the children before I would ever see child support. He has a sex fettish where he wants it all the time, every day multiple times in a day if he could get it (not that he does, mind you. I stopped that crazy crap a long time ago), and I am just supposed to stop all that I am doing and fulfill his needs (even though sex for me offers virtually nothing other than soreness,swelling, and boredom and has always been like this). If I don I am very overweight, I smoke like a chimney, my credit is destroyed, I don I have less now 14 years later than I did before I married him. At least before I married him I had my own very nice car and some clothes. I don My clothes are tattered, stained, and worn. And...I had dreams of what my life was going to be like when I got married. But it certainly was not a life like this. My kids are older now and they are seeing their father for who he is. He blames me and tells me it is all the bad stuff I am telling the children. I keep telling him it is what they have seen for 14 years. They beg me to divorce him. My youngest, who is 11, was diagnosed last year with severe ulcerative colitis. He has had a flare now for the past six weeks with at least ten bouts of diarrhea with blood every day. He talks about depression a lot and always asking me what it is. When I got the call last year from his pediatrician telling me to take him to the hospital for a possible blood transfusion (this was when we got his diagnosis), Ialmost fell on the floor from fear. I called my husband at work to tell him he needed to come home. He said, I can I have to work. He said, Don His red blood cell count had dropped to 7.2 froma normal of 12 because of his bleeding. He came to the hospital when he got out of work. He showed up at 6:00 p.m. We went outside and talked for a bit and then about 20 minutes after he showed up, he said, Well, I have to go home to eat and shower. I When I got angry, he said Hey, I I need to rest. Besides, there We still didn I didn I was scared to death. But he had to go home to eat and shower and rest!!!! I think that was the beginning of the end for me. I once read something on these boards that someone posted saying Marriage is not supposed to be a good deal for one and misery for the other. That is what my life has been. My marriage was a great deal for him...kids that he never has to pay for (I mean nothing...not school projects and believe me there are a ton of them, not clothes, not shoes, notebooks, backpacks, nothing), free sex, and a wife that he doesn I believe in my soul that my marriage was a good business deal for him. If you knew my husband, you would laugh at that statement because he is extremely uneducated and talks like a mentally retarded person. People in the past have actually asked me if he was mentally retarded. He thinks that if my son would drink lots and lots of water, that that will cure his ulcerative colitis and makes fun of me and insults me and everyone else. Itell him he is a moron and he doesn His abusive mother made them drink nothing but water. She would not buy them anything or strive for a better life. They lived in a nightmare life. So now he gets very angry when we woncure everything. He tells us that he is trying to show us how to live right but we just won He tells this to other people too including our landlord. He has the most disgusting habits. He picks scabs and eats them, he has eczema and psoriasis so he is one huge flake, which he enjoys picking off chunks and dropping them in a pile on the floor, he passes unbearable gas (like every two or three minutes that has such a horrid stench it makes all of us nauseous) and then flips out if we spray a room spray. He will actually grab the can and scream that this is his house and we are all just disgusting to live with and just impossible to live with. He just had a fight with my 12-year-old daughter tonight because he was passing tons and tons of gas and she sprayed a room spray. He got up in her face screaming at the top of his lungs at 11:00 at night that this is his house. He will pass gas all he wants and that he won She was crying and begging me to divorce him. She kept saying, You said it would be better for the family if you stayed married to him but it It won Well, I could go on and on. It has been 14 years of this but I think you get the picture. I have no money. I don I have a son who is going to need ongoing frequent medical care and I am afraid he will cancel the insurance if I do anything to get rid of him. I have a great fear for our safety. He has major problems with having to give up his money so to haveto pay child support will send him over the edge. He is a pathological liar so you can He told me, I would never allow anyone to judge me like that. You can tell the judge to kiss my balls. He seems to expect the absolute highest standards from the children and I but he doesn Never has and never will but will shove it down my throat when he doesn Well, any advice. I really am looking for legal advice for anyone else who has been through this. I know I need to get rid of him...for the kids sake. They need to see that life is not like this and not all men do this and that you don My daughter, who just turned 13, says to me she hates men with a passion. I told my niece that I felt like I was dying. I never, never, never, never leave my house except to go to Dunkin Donuts up the street to get a coffee. I haven And that is three hours probably once every two months. I am lonely, isolated, and ragingly angry. I want to go back to school but when I talk about that, he poo poos it saying I should go back in five or ten years or 15 years when my bills are paid and I can afford it. HELLO????? I am going to be 43 in October. Maybe I should just wait to go back to school until I Well you get the picture. If you By the way, when I bring up any of his abuse to him, he tells me I don Funny, he always remembers every time I swear at him though. Has never forgotten a single time.

Looking for help on where to start [2008-06-28]
over. I I would prefer to live in warmer climate year round. Any ideas, sugesstions would be appreciated. This has been a long time coming and I Thanks for your feedback. Please fee free to Email me if you would prefer.

This year was rough...sm [2008-06-27]
I turned 41 this month, but it wasn I It all seemed to come to a head on my actual birthday for some reason and I was inconsolable. I cried almost all day. It was awful.

here's what I do -- [2008-06-26]
Every summer, I make a chore chart for each of my 3 boys, ages 5, 7 and 10. Brushing teeth is apparently a big chore that requires a reminder. So on my chore chart it goes, once in the morning and once at night (I figure 2 times a day is pretty good). Other chores I include are making their beds, picking up toys, dirty clothes in the hamper. They are also each required to help wash their clothes once a week and put away their clean clothes. In addition, they Each time they complete a chore, they get a sticker for that day. At the end of the week, we add up all their stickers. If they have a certain number collectively-- they get to pick a group activity (local amusement park, chuckie cheese or bike ride with the parents, etc.). If they don I Kids need structure, even in the summer, and this gives them something to look forward to at the end of the week. I Rewards don Just pick something you know your child would like. Having the chart helps to remind them and kids love the feeling of getting it right Good luck and remember: when all else fails, bribe

I don't think I would allow it. [2008-06-24]
I own three 4-wheelers. I know they can and are dangerous. I make my stepson wear a helmet and chest protector when he rides and he is 14. My husband and I often take rides with our 4 y/o son sandwiched between us on one 4-wheeler but my husband drives at a slow speed and has BOTH hands controlling it while I I also have my son's bicycle helmet on. Not only is that a lot of noise for such a young person but ATVs are just dangerous. She should have at least asked for your permission first.

2 years? How did you come up with this? [2008-06-23]
Isoon. Can you back up what you're saying?

HA HA HA - loved your comments [2008-06-23]
Perfect...lmao here....I'm going to cut you off, I hope you believe that. HA HA HA....too funny. I can tell you've got a great sense of humor and also a wonderful outlook on life.

I was only about 12 when I was bitten, [2008-06-23]
and I'm still not afraid of snakes. In my new job we actually come across them now and then. We girls gather around and analyze whether we think it's poisonous. If we decide it's not, then I'll be the one to carry it down by the pond ... except the only one we've needed to move so far was bright copper in color, and I never picked up a copperhead-colored snake before, so we called the boss. He carried it without incident.

it wasn't much mentioned or [2008-06-22]
talked about, but after Katrina, other countries DID send money and supplies and I remember right, a lot of money was given to the 911 fund. I wonder about the supplies turned away Burma a couple of weeks ago. I am afraid that instead of actually reporting news, we are dealt the canned versions and have to suffer through many of the same reports over and over.

Anyone burned out with MTing? sm [2008-06-22]
i i love being at home for the fact i have a 10 y/o and a 6 y/o. but sometimes i find myself being bored sitting here typing. i think of doing other things, medically related. i think it would be so cool to be a surgery tech. the thing is here where i live, i can make about the same as they do working at home. it anyone else feel that way or have made a change? i often think about when my boys get a little bigger, i i would like to do some kind of work where i can make a difference in people

have a question about groin lump sm [2008-06-22]
last weekend i woke up to a sore groin, and a little bit of my very upper thigh. i felt around and found about a lima bean sized lump. it was very sore to the touch. over the course of the week, the lump decreased in size and there is no tenderness. i still feel a lump. i figured it is probably a lymph node. probably about three to four inches away from this lump i had a bite, not sure what kind but i i never did see a tick there, but the sore it left and how long i i haven

I'm with you [2008-06-22]
I too am getting burned out. I've been doing this 9 years. I like working at home. Don't know if I want to go back to working in an office with a bunch of old women all with their office politics, gossiping, dislikes, likes, etc. Plus the cost of working clothes, lunches, b-days, various pot lucks, etc. Here I wake up at 8am (no kids if you can't tell), turn on the computer and work. However I am getting very bored and some days have little motivation. I feel like I'm going to end up MTing until I die in my chair here. What's worse is DH does not work (I think he's going through a mid life crisis), so when I see him out doing yard work and other stuff I'm a little jealous. I want to be quilting and reading, and playing games, and all these other projects but I have to work my tail off to pay the bills. I am getting burnt out though, but what I get paid here, in this town there is nothing that would pay as good. I keep learning new things through the local college and that helps a lot. The college here offers on-line courses for $99, so every once in awhile I will take one if it looks fun (like writing or a computer program). But just wish I had something a little more fun and exciting.

You could try a broom I guess, but [2008-06-22]
I've been bitten by a garter snake before and it was no big deal. They just have short teeth so they won't get fangs caught in you or anything. Or you could try lifting him with tongs and putting him into a pillowcase. He would slow down if your house was cold. That's all I can think of. I got to watch a cat playing with a lizard last week. I felt bad for the lizard, but the cat sure was cute playing with it.

Your telling my story now.. [2008-06-22]
I Now, I can see why prisoners have such a hard time adjusting to the outside world. I feel isolated and depressed. I've gotten a secretary's bottom and 30 pounds heavier. I am waiting any day now to hear if I got a billing job I am applied for and I'm outta this prison. I'm get PAROLED..

Isn't it awful [2008-06-22]
I was talking to my DH and told him (it is actually his half-brother going through this), and he agreed its hard to know what to say because his brother laughs about a lot of stuff (serious stuff and makes jokes out of it). So we have decided a sympathetic uh-huh is probably the most appropriate. I canmy dad always tells me that these people have died but they haven Talk about an ee-gads!