|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
and yes, they are first year Boy Scouts/campers (sm) [2008-07-03]
There is no Webelo-First Year Scout transition program or person that I am aware of.
Was definitely 40, what a crappy year that was! [2008-07-01]
My then-husband and I had justseparated, filed for divorce, just a few days before my birthday.I told my best friend about what had happened. She told meshe had planned a surprise 40th birthday party for me, and had invited about 30 people, all the plans were laid, she didn I told her to just go ahead and have the party, we would come and just act like everything was OK, wouldn My ex got very very drunk, was a huge jerk, and then left me stranded at the party. Everyone wanted to know what was going on, I just didn What aday! LOL. Can look back at it and laugh now, though. 25 was my hardest, as far as worrying about my age. You know, that song got to me, Younger women, from 18 on up to 25. Ha. Now I
Need advice on 16 year old daughter. SM [2008-06-29]
I just found out that my 16 1/2 year old daughter has been drinking and smoking and has been lying to me about this. I found out and confronted her and she came clean stating that she drinks, but has never been drunk, will just have enough to where she is happy and also smokes 3 to 4 cigarettes a month, she says. I have now lost complete trust in her because she has been lying to me all this time stating that she did not drink or smoke and neither did her friends, etc, etc. She has always been a good girl (or at least I thought so) and is an honor student. She just got her driver's license in May. The first thing that I have decided to do is to not let her drive for a while. This is my first experience with this and I need advice and guidance on what the appropriate punishment is. Please help.
This year was rough...sm [2008-06-27]
I turned 41 this month, but it wasn I It all seemed to come to a head on my actual birthday for some reason and I was inconsolable. I cried almost all day. It was awful.
i would never allow my 5 and 9 year old [2008-06-24]
a few years back on his. He was with his children on it, he threw them off and they lived but he didn't.
Custody-how much say does an 11-year-old have? PLEASE HELP [2008-06-16]
My 11-year-old son has recently started tearfully asking me to divorce his dad. I have been borderline on it for a while but was trying to keep the family intact- one reason being that I was afraid of how my husband would treat my son and 8-year-old daughter when I was not here. In discussing the possibilities of divorce, I told my son that his father could possiby try to get 50% custody of him. He said tearfully, if that happens, I I have never heard anything like that come out of my child His dad is overbearing and he truly doesn He is very concerned with what everyone else thinks but in truth doesn I guess my son is finally seeing that. I asked him to talk to his dad about how he feels but he is too afraid and said his dad will just say , you got that idea from your mother.
I I do want to consider filing for divorce, but if my husband gets partial custody the trauma on my children will be devastating! And he has much more financial means to fight me in court than I have.
How much say does an 11-year-old have in court about who they live with? If we went to a family counsellor first would that help at all?
There are 4-5 a year at my daughter's HS. It's become commonplace. [2008-05-09]
We live in a moderate-sized town outside Seattle. Usually the threats are phoned in; I don Evacuation, police, dogs.... one time they stood around in a rain/hailstorm for over 2 hours while the school (7 buildings on her HS campus) was searched. She and a friend looked around the field where everyone was corralled and said, gee, if someone was really going to plant a bomb, they
What can you do? If the police search the school and give the all-clear, I say send him back in. It Just my $0.02.
Famous last words. Only a penny. Say that every year and then what? nm [2008-05-09]
/
I was on it for about year ago and after [2008-05-06]
you find the things you like it isn't that bad. You just have to pick and choose, and I did lose almost 20 lbs., just have to be careful when you go off if it.
We can our veggies every year...sm [2008-04-26]
We go out to the countrysideto U-Pick veggie fields. Last year picked lots of tomatoes for 20 cents a pound. Also picked or bought eggplant, peppers, pears, apples, peaches. We canned the tomatoes andfruits; froze the peppers, and ate the eggplant (not sure how to preserve those yet). We also freeze snap peas from the garden and some other stuff. Whoa, I sound like a little country Cathy, don Anyway, hopefully this helps support the farms/farmers and keeps their land away from developers. Off my soap box now.
One day my 3 year old son was looking in the fridge reviewing things [2008-04-24]
x
Birthday present from a 5 year old [2008-04-23]
When my son was five we were walking to school in March, my birthday month. We were talking about my birthday and he said that he would pick flowers for me for my birthday. Unfortunately, in New York there are no flowers yet in March, and I gently pointed that out to him. His face fell for a moment, and then suddenly brightened with an idea - You like worms? he said.
Same happened to me this year... [2008-04-18]
I tried every size and styles... I thought I would have to get an EE bra or something. But then I asked a kindly lady at Sears, and she had me try the bras in boxes, that hold you up and conceal instead of pushing everything up so much that all you see istremendous flabs. The key is making sure the cup has a full line, not half of one. I know it sounds complicated... but anyway it turned out I'm a 38C and not an EE!
My 18-year-old has had ovarian cysts [2008-04-15]
since 8th grade. THe first time she was in pain for about 2 weeks. All they did for her (after we went to the hospital and determined it was not appendicitis) was give her a few pain pills and take it easy for a while, and go back every 6 months for ultrasound. SHe was fine up until last November when she is now having pain almost every month around her cycle for a day or 2. We actually went to the hospital again wiht her in November and they said one had ruptured, but really there wasn't anything they can do for her except remove her ovaries which she is way to young to have done. They did put her on BCP to suppress them, but if misses even 1 dose she has a doozy of a time.
Every year same old, same old at tax time Venting- [2008-04-14]
My husband and I never fight ----- until April. Then itconstant for about 2 weeks.
My hubby is self-employed. We've had a couple of rough years and for the past 2 years were unable to pay quarterly taxes. When tax time rolls around, bang! We're fighting like cats and dogs! He complains about how much he has to pay in every year I really don't blame him, as it seems like in his line of work, a lot of deductions are not allowed and it sucks.
In reality, we gotta get on top of the quarterlies again. Then it wouldnThen he threatens to sell his equipment.Now for the next 3 months, all I
It upsets me when we fight, but I'm tired of hearing it all the time. I wasn't even going to tell him how much we owed but I didn't know where to get the money to quietly pay off the IRS.
Anybody want a wonderful husband for the next month or so? Just until he gets over it, then I want him back. (only kidding---he's a real keeper).
Thanks for listening. Any suggestions on how to get around this crappy tax thing, please let me know.
My 16 year old daughter - sm [2008-04-08]
says that kids often way exaggerate on these places, especially about threatening suicide. That doesn't mean that some of them aren't serious, but probably the majority of them are looking for the drama.
So, while it probably wasnjoke per se, it's also probably not nearly as scary as it sounds. She did the same kind of post at age 14 that I carried around with me while watching for other signs, but her grades stayed up, she showed no signs of cutting off her friends, etc. Just normal teen highs and lows, and time passed and so did that.
My point - Take a breath, calm your nerves, and just be watchful. It'll probably just turn out to be another phase.
My 12-year-old goes to bed at 9 and gets up at 6:30 [2008-04-07]
It sounds like right now your child actually goes to bed at 10, so if you extend until 10 it'll really be more like 10:30.
Mine started complaining a bit last year about bedtime, but this year started realizing how much better you feel/look when you get plenty of sleep. This year has been the easiest time...with child actually wanting to go to sleep. Of course, summer is coming and that throws a wrench in everone's schedule:-)
For the 8 year old, 8:30 (should be asleep [2008-04-07]
nm
Summer Gardens will be worth it this year. [2008-04-07]
Went to the grocery store for green peppers and milk yesterday. I just needed two green peppers and milk, that
The produce department is normally really good at our local grocery store but the peppers they had didn Normally they would be 2 peppers for 99 cents or something like that. They wanted 3.00 for 2 peppers! Holy Cow! I passed on the peppers and decided then and there I
I haven One year we lost an entire row (20 feet long row) of carrots, half a row of onions, and most of our corn to critters in one night.
Going small and compact this time. Barrel gardens. Keep the critters out and most of the weeds too. Carrots, cukes, peppers, onions, tomatoes, and squash.
What's going in your garden?
I may try a veggie garden this year too. [2008-04-07]
in the past i have not had time to keep up with one but i think i will this year while working at home for MQ. maybe you have tried everything for your garden eaters, don't know but I have heard you can sprinkle black pepper all over the garden and it will keep a lot of animals out bc they do not like the smell. you have to reapply with rain but it might be worth a try.
i normally have flowers galore! but i may do some veggies this year as you said they are getting SO expensive in the stores. i have had great luck with barrel gardens in the past and they look really nice on a patio.
I go to New York every year... [2008-04-07]
and go to the special stores and get the real Coach bags for under $100 bucks. I have taken them to the Coach stores in our area and the sales people have verified they are real....I am going in May and have to pick up 5 for my girlfriends!
One year 2 of our local radio stations, a [2008-04-01]
hard rock and the country music stations, switched studios and were broadcasting on each other's frequencies.
One year really punk rock station starting playing Barry SM [2008-04-01]
Manilow, Sammy Davis Jr., The Carpenters and goodness knows who else. I never listened to that station, except for that day, only to hear stoners waking up at 2 pm and calling the station asking what was going on.
Gas prices hinder my trips, nope, got 3 planned for this year [2008-03-31]
Had planned 1 by air about 3 months ago and 2 others by chartered bus the end of the year so nope, prices are not hindering my traveling.
Found a thyroid mass about a year ago too [2008-03-29]
just came up overnight or so it seemed, always had thyroid checked on annual exam, but just happened to reach up on my neck one day and there it was, rather large. I too saw family doctor, got an ultrasound which really cannot tell much, other than the size of the nodule and then was referred to surgeon. Because of the size and the way it appeared so quickly, there was mention of very slight, slight risk of cancer, etc, but that even thyroid cancer is hightly cureable, etc. I did some internet research etc and did not let it worry me too much, but followed up and my doctor had an ultrasound-guided needle thyroid biopsy performed by a radiologist at our local hospital who specializes in these procedures, that way he was able to make sure to take enough specimen while I was there (so I would not have to go through the procedure again, if the specimen was inadequate) They ended up doing four passes with the needle to get enough, after using local lidocaine, etc. Did not hurt a bit (went out to lunch with my girlfriends about 2 hours after the procedure) but you could feel the needle when it went through into the gland (the gland is rather tough)kind of like a popping sound. The best part was that I could get a preliminary result in about 5 minutes while I was still on the exam table, no waiting and worrying. Luckily it came back benign, but I do have to take thyroid medication now. They were hoping it would shrink the mass, but it has been about 9 months now and I am due in April to have another ultrasound but I can tell that the mass is not any smaller, probably larger and so I can look forward to having partial thyroidectomy (not really afraid of surgery, just don't have time in my schedule for such things). My advice is to do some internet research on WebMD, etc, make a list of questions to ask your doctor, and I would definitely try to get a specialist to do any biopsy and see if you can get preliminary results the same day to put your mind at ease. Remember most doctors don't have the greatest personalities but if they know their stuff that's what matters. Try not to worry.
DOG BITE [2008-07-03]
I find this whole complete thread disturbing. This woman was coming here to vent her frustration and was basically attacked. How sad!!!
I am sorry for your child. It is a terrible incident that I hope you win in court.
Dog owners have a responsibility to take proper care of their dog along with keeping it on a leash. When you take on a pet you take on ALL INCIDENTS that this pet causes. If this dog had torn up property, not a child, and they just offered a couple of dollars for repairs, I would hope that something would be done to get the full amount. yes this is a child which to me seems a little bit more important than property. I would think they should be responsible for the whole $800.
I want to know why who ever it was stated that she should get a fence in her yard? It is not her responsiblity to keep this dog out. It is the owners responsibility to keep their dog on a leash and under their control at all times.
My suggestion would be EVERY single time this dog is loose you call the police or animal control until something is done. In Indiana there is a three strikes and your dog is out law basically. Call animal control and tell them about this neighborhood dog and your daughter. I would really suprise me if it is not picked up.
Good Luck.
Also, in the US, you can sue anyone for anything at anytime. That is the law. It is not like this woman and child are suing over nothing. A dog bite is a serious incident. This dog could potentially kill a small child.
A friend of mine's mom has small dogs (under 10 pounds). One recently bit her child in a serious bite. The dog actually went for her 4 year olds neck!! Her mom was right there when it happened. The child did nothing wrong but bend down to pet the dog. Small dogs can do damage too.
This one has struck a chord with me. [2008-07-03]
I have been an assistant scoutmaster for 8 years now. Yes, I am a mom, and there are women scout leaders out there! My job with our troop was Webelos-to-Scout Transition Coordinator. My job was to help our youngest boys and their families become part of our troop and to make sure that the boys have fun and get all that they can from the scout experience. Summer camp was always the make or break time for the youngest boys. You didn't say if your son is a new scout, but I assume this is his first time at summer camp. Homesickness and living in the outdoors are always the biggest hurdles during the first summer camp.
You are not over-reacting because your son is having a bad time. That's a simple fact, and he deserves to have those feelings validated and addressed. Since I'm female, I tend to approach the first-time scout's misery in a different way, and over the years, a lot of men have disagreed with my methods. But, they work. Men seem to like the stick-it-out approach, and I've seen some of the worst leaders actually tease and belittle homesick boys or boys who don't take easily to the outdoor experience. That really finishes off the boy for scouting. He quits. Do you think that is what is happening with your son?
At summer camp with our first year scouts, I always listen to them, validate their fears, and then try to help them overcome their fears with knowledge. If spiders or animals scare them, we go to the nature lodge and find out all about them. We do a good cleaning of their tents or lean-toWell, it I and my fellow adult leaders have spent a lot of nights sitting around picnic tables talking to scouts, sometimes making a game of listening for owls or watching spiders crawl across the table in the lantern light. And if boys do call home, I would run like crazy to the camp phone to call the parents first to let them know what was going on and to tell them to expect a call from their son. In that way, parents were prepared, and we could coordinate our efforts to help their son.
Basically, it just takes some compassion. The hard core approach doesn't work.
Why do I go through all the trouble? Because I know the value of the scouting program. When it's done well, it goes a long way to help parents raise up honorable men. In our troop, our scouts learn to be compassionate, because we've modeled that sort of behavior for them. They learn about living in the outdoors, and learn to take care of themselves and others. That gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel capable. They learn problem-solving skills and teamwork. These are all important life skills, and when scouting is done well, boys who come through are lightyears ahead of most of their non-scout peers by the time they are 18.
But that only happens when it's done right. There are great troops and adult volunteers in the BSA, but there are unfortunately some real losers, as well. It's true that scouting is not for everyone, but there is no reason for so many boys to be pushed away because of issues that just need a little careful thought and attention. This is one of my most passionate issues with scouting. Even the BSA knows that the first year scout is the most likely to quit, and they spend a lot of money and time training volunteers on this subject. It seems that some adults don't learn as quickly as others, though. And there is a core of leaders who like to remember what it was like when they were boy scouts, and won't move ahead or adapt their techniques for the boy of today's times. A new 11-year-old scout should not be expected to act like a man and tough it out. He's still a boy, and living in the woods is usually a totally new experience for him. MOST boys are scared at first, but the men and other boys hate to admit it. A new scout just needs some patience, understanding and time to mature. He needs to feel safe even when he's struggling, and he needs to know that he is supported.
I don't know all the details of your son's experience, but if you think that what I've said might apply to him, you might consider looking for another troop, one that will provide him with a good, supportive program. Not all scout troops are the same. Each has a different personality, so perhaps another troop would suit your son better. If that's not possible, or if at this point he is completely turned off by scouting, there are certainly other activities out there that can teach him the things that are learned through scouting. Encourage him to find out what his talents are and help him to explore all of the possibilities that life has to offer.
I'm so sorry to hear that your son is not enjoying scouts. It really breaks my heart when I hear such stories, because I know that the adult volunteers could handle the situation better. My own sons had a hard time the first time they went to camp, which is why I got involved. I knew there was a better way to deal with such a common problem. My oldest, who is now 20, still works with scouts, and my youngest will receive his Eagle Scout rank in just a couple of weeks. I have seen many, many boys' lives changed for the better by the scouting program, including my own sons. I hope that your son can also have a great experience in scouting.
I'm always happy to talk about scouting, and if you'd like to send me a private message, I'd be glad to share more of my thoughts on the subject.
and yes, they are first year Boy Scouts/campers (sm) [2008-07-03]
There is no Webelo-First Year Scout transition program or person that I am aware of.
There is something called the MDR1 gene...sm [2008-07-03]
MDR1 (multi-drug resistance gene). Itfound in herding breeds likecollies, aussies, etc., and somel other breeds as well. It The only way to know is to test the dog to see if has the gene or is a carrier. (I think that just involves a cheek swab.)
Were these dogs related to each other? I wonder if that gene was the cause, or if the vet was negligent, or if it was just terrible luck. It
Beforesurgery,Italk to the vet and make sureI understandwhat kind of drugs and anesthetic they use, and how the dog is monitored during anesthesia and while recovering. Just like with people, there is always a risk. Some vets have all the fancy, high tech equipment for monitoring, but others relymore onan assistantto do it manually. I prefer There are not nearly as many vet anesthesiologists in the vet world as there are in human medicine.
II I just read about this gene when I was helping a friend research the breed. Her first aussie died at a ripe old age of about 14 yrs old, I think, andshe has one thatyear old and has had no health problems that I know of. Isorry for your friend. To have a dog die after a flea dip of all things... and then another after routine teeth cleaning. There is always a risk with anesthesia, but we get so used to thinking it
She took her current Aussie to the vet for neutering. When he came home he was lethargic. They took him back and the doctor put him on an IV to flush his system of any anesthesia?
This s/l either the dog had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, or the vet went overboard and gave too much...
I'm sorry you lost a friend sm [2008-07-02]
Maybe in the midst of my anger, I I'm really sorry you went through what you went through.
My whole point is not about money, even though it may seem that way. I think there should be some sort of penalty when a dog bites someone, especially an 8-year-old child.
In our case, there has been absolutely no penalty, and the dog has been out without a leash since the attack. The owners even tried to blame our daughter for the bite. They said the dog thought she had some food in her hand or that she was standing next to the dog She was standing in front of their house. The dog tried biting my daughter
They I will advise our attorney that we will be willing to settle with them because we don I have never sued anyone and never expected I would ever sue anyone.
While I have sympathy in your case, I don If we did nothing, this could happen again to someone else
Unbelievable sm [2008-07-02]
$87 was all they planned to give us. Her medical bills totalled $800, $87 was our portion. The other portion we figured for pain and suffering. We always wanted to getpain and suffering for our daughter. This was no surprise to the owner.
Read the thread. I don My daughter was standing on the sidewalk in front ofthe ownerhouse when the dog attacked her.
Again, if you will read the thread you Her dog has been loose on more than one occasion since the attack without a leash.
The police were called, and there is a police report, along with ER and doctor notes.
It is unbelievable how uncaring people are here on this board. Even though my daughter didn This is an 8-year-old child.
The owners should be penalized because they are allowing their dog to be loose without a leash on a street filled with young children. I don't have any sympathy for them.
It amazes me how people on this board show much more compassion for the dog that attacked my daughter than for my daughter. No one seems to care that this dog has been loose since the attack or that there were no penalties for this owner. The dog has never been impounded. A friend of mine lives next door to a dog that bit someone, and that dog was never impounded either.
I think I I have been coming here for years, but for people to be so cruel here to my daughter especially is just unimaginable to me.
I will do whatever I have to do to make my daughter feel safe in her own neighborhood. I have consulted with an attorney and will probably proceed in small claims court unless this owner wants to try to settle this with us.
I pray that nothing like this ever happens to any of your children or family members. It It
I'm done here.
What about lesh laws? [2008-07-02]
If you have a pet running around in this town you will be fined up to $500 whether the dog did anything while running about or not.
I do hope the little girl gets past her fear of dogs someday. I have a 6-year-old that has that same fear but she has never gotten bit so I don She has turned now many playdatesbecause ofthose tiny, barking house dogs. One friend in particular wanted dd to come over and play sobad but dd refused because of the dog and I explained that to the mother. I suggested that the litltegirl is welcome to come play here, after consulting with dd first and she agreed. (I wanted to make sure it really was the dog notthe other girl). So they come over, with their little barking, jumping dog andturned it loose in our house and dd started screaming and crying and very rudely ran them both off. I felt bad becausedd bluntly told them to leave butI did not geton to her too much about it becauseitdid not make sense to me. I had just explained that dd was very scared of the dog so why did they bring it to my house and turn it loose in my living room. The dog was not mean, just very very hyper.
MIL shares that same fear and does not know why. She quit visiting a friend because their hyper little dog kept jumping on her and the owners would not do anything to control it. I guess dd and MIL are 2 peas in a pod when it comes ot that.
Beach [2008-07-02]
Just keep a sharp eye on the children in the ocean with the boogie boards. The ocean current is strong. I found this out when we went to Myrtle Beach and my 10-year-old was on an inflatable raft. The current carried her rather far. It was a good thing my husband could swim. It happened so quickly but everything turned out all right.
Dogs, fireworks, and... peppermint oil? sm [2008-07-02]
One of my dogs has a little bit of a problem with loud noises such as fireworksandthunderstorms. He doesnbut I happened toread an article about how using peppermint oil on the dogreally calm them,so I
Ithas to be real peppermint oil (not the kind found in the grocery store in the baking section), so I went to a local health food store and bought a bottle. You put the oil on a cotton pad, then put some on each of the dog I did a Google search and found a lot of comments from people saying it worked for their dog. (Just type in
Below isanother article I found while searching around. I know a lot of pets end up freaking out and getting lostthis time of year, poor things, so be sure you have an up-to-date ID tag on your pets, even if they will be inside the house.
Dogs Fireworks Don't Mix!
Every year on the Fourth of July America's skies are bright with fireworks, sparklers and Roman candles as we celebrate Independence Day. Bangs, explosions and bright lights are accompanied by screams, sirens and howling dogs throughout the country.
Dogs do not like fireworks. Fact. Every year dogs along with many other animals experience fear and confusion, sometimes alone when their owners are away enjoying an organized event. It is not unusual for dogs to run away from home after being frightened by fireworks. Another problem for dogs is the fact that fireworks seem to be going off for a few days leading up to July 4th as well so there is no way of knowing exactly when your dog might be subjected to a loud bang.
Below are some suggestions to help ensure that your pets can get through the fireworks unscathed.
It is a good idea to bring any outdoor pets inside during the fireworks.Always remember how acute a dog's sense of hearing is. A loud bang to us can feel like a volcano erupting to a dog.
It may be hard, but try and stay with your dog during the fireworks. Your presence will help to calm your dog and while the noise may still frighten them, they will feel better and recover much faster with you there.
Always make sure your dog has his or her own special area where they can go to feel safe. Be it an indoor kennel or a place under the stairs, dogs love to have a den at their disposal.
It sounds obvious, but try to keep the windows and curtains closed during the fireworks display as this will lessen the effect of the noise and bright flashes.
Also, normal household noises such as the TV or music can help to distract from the loud noises coming from outside.
Last but certainly not least, always ensure your pet has some sort of identification on him or her. It is a sad fact but many dogs do run away from home because of fireworks.Even dogs that have previously shown no fear of fireworks can occasionally take flight at the loud noises and flashes in the sky.
Be prepared, your dog has never heard of Independence Day or The Fourth of July and he doesnHe needs your help to make it through the day.
Some advice -- been there myself, [2008-07-02]
First of all, congrats on almost paying off that mortgage! I would love to have a $350/month mortgage payment. I watch a lot of financial shows on TV, so I hope some of the stuff I learned can help you.
1. Pay yourself first. I know this sounds hard to do, but if you put a little back each paycheck to a savings account, you can avoid getting caught in the credit card circle again. It doesn We do $40 a paycheckinto2 club accounts, $20 into a Christmas Club and $20 into a vacation club. This really helps out when those times of year come around.
2. Pay your highest interest rate credit cards first and/or lowest balance first. You say you have a credit card in the 20% range for interest with a balance of $200. Try to pay that one off ASAP, while still maintaining minimum payments on the others. Once that one is paid down, I would start on the next lowest balance (since 3 of your credit card interest rates are in the similar 20% range). You should put the money you were paying on the $200 card (after it
3. Try to make your payments as soon as you get your bill for that statement; don Interest is figured on a daily basis, so the sooner you pay it for that month, the less interest you'll end up paying.
4. The $5000 that you are planning on getting would probably be best used by paying off the credit cards for 2 reasons: 1) The interest on your house is probably a lot better rate than those on the credit cards. 2) The interest you are paying on your house can be tax deductible.
If I were in your situation, I would start out with the first 3 suggestions. After you get the $5000, I would follow through with number 4. Finally, any remaining balances left, I would try to obtain a home equity loan. Home equity loans are not second mortgages. The closing costs are much less, usually not more than $100, if any. The interest on a home equity loan would be better than any of your credit card interest rates, and again, the interest paid on a home equity loan can be tax deductible. When shopping for a home equity loan, try to find one with a fixed interest rate rather than adjustable (the market You should be able to find one with a rate somewhere around 7%.
Good luck to you!
have you ever thought about sm [2008-07-02]
have you ever thought about transferring some balances from the cc to a 0% interest credit card?? you can find those 0% for 12 months up to a year and a half and if you pay the balance off before that time is up, then there is no interest charged to your balance (hope that makes sense). that transferred some of my high percentage rate cc to a zero interest and that really helps me. i would cut up the cc that have the high interest. my only cc that has interest on it is only 6.9%. i have a bigger balance on it than i would like ($6800), but that is the only cc i have with an interest rate on it. my other ones (three of them) are no interest. i don congrats on your house!!! i, too, would also take that 5 grand and put it on a cc, not the house.
good luck!!!
Was definitely 40, what a crappy year that was! [2008-07-01]
My then-husband and I had justseparated, filed for divorce, just a few days before my birthday.I told my best friend about what had happened. She told meshe had planned a surprise 40th birthday party for me, and had invited about 30 people, all the plans were laid, she didn I told her to just go ahead and have the party, we would come and just act like everything was OK, wouldn My ex got very very drunk, was a huge jerk, and then left me stranded at the party. Everyone wanted to know what was going on, I just didn What aday! LOL. Can look back at it and laugh now, though. 25 was my hardest, as far as worrying about my age. You know, that song got to me, Younger women, from 18 on up to 25. Ha. Now I
Need to vent sm [2008-07-01]
My 8-year-old daughter was bit by a dog a few months ago by a neighbor The bite has healed, but the emotional scars haven My daughter is now absolutely terrified of dogs, and cats now, too. She won This is obviously out of the picture now.
Our medical bills totaled over $800 before insurance. We gave them the bill, wanting $800 because we pay for our insurance on a weekly basis, and they shouldn We thought that was more than fair because of the trauma my daughter suffered.
Well, today, they tried to give us a check for $87! Yes, that I was so insulted by this, and hurt! All that my daughter went through, they tried to give her an $87 check?!!! They only want to pay our copay!
Well, I typed up a letter and returned their check, informing them we will be contacting an attorney. So, instead of the $800 we wanted, I'm sure they'll have to pay a few extra thousand for pain and suffering, and also for the lost wages because we had to miss work because of this.
I can
Thanks for letting me vent!
Thanks for your concern, but sm [2008-07-01]
I disagree with you concerning the medical bill. I have watched enough People If we didn They
We pay a premium every week to have insurance, and they shouldn't and won't benefit from that.
This is a neighbor who lives down the street from us. They Our daughter was friendly with their daughter. We They moved in a month before we did.
We have contacted an attorney who will have to help us settle this. These people have very little, if any, remorse. They had their dog out without a leash just a few weeks after this incident next door to our house! I had to ask them twice to put the dog up. My daughter was screaming and crying in the meantime!
I don This was a very traumatic event for my daughter. I didn She had to run back home with blood dripping from her hand onto the street and sidewalk.
How do you think it's fair for someone to pay $87 for this trauma that their dog inflicted?
We were trying to be the nice neighbors and not sue from the beginning when everyone was telling us to sue. We thought we could work this out. I told the attorney that we want to sue for the maximum amount, including our lost wages.
If I had a dog that did this to another child, I would be devastated and would probably even get rid of the dog. I couldn I think $800 was very reasonable.
Excuse me! sm [2008-07-01]
Lining my pockets? Are you serious? This is for my daughter, not me. I have plenty of money and don We make over $100,000 a year. My daughter is the one who suffered and is continuing to suffer. What would you do if your daughter was traumatized like this?
I think you have a lot of nerve!!!
Again, what will you accomplish by [2008-07-01]
That If it wasn If you were that upset about the dog being loose again, you would be concentrating your efforts on getting the dog impounded rather than seeing a lawyer and finding out how to settle with their homeowner It
Your daughter is reliving this incident because you are playing it over and over again for her. I
This reminds me of when I used to work in an office. We actually had a mother bring in a disability form for her 13-year-old, who had tinnitus or some other benign disorder, and wanted it filled out so she could start getting benefits for him. People are always looking for a way to get rich quick - it's the American way.
The end of a friendship [2008-07-01]
My girlfriend came over one day and was chatting with me on the sofa. I had just gotten home from the hospital from having a hysterectomy and she came to pick me up to go see another friend of hers who was in the hospital having just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer (I couldn't drive yet).
My 2 dogs started scuffling over a bone and my friend got an extremely tiny, a little larger than a pin prick mark on the back of her ankle (either from one of the dog's teeth or a sharp end of the bone, hard to tell). I gave her antiseptic wash, a bandage, said I was sorry and thought that was the end of it. We went to visit our friend.
Awhile later, I answered the door to be served with a summons. We were being sued by my friend. I want you to know that this bite did not even bleed.
She had a tattoo right in the area and when she took pictures of the bite for her attorney, it was very, very hard to see a mark at all.
So, anyway, by the time it went to court (and here is a very ironic thing, the day my husband and I got up and ready to go to court, my sweet Barney, my Schnauzer, died).
Well, between pictures of the injury and her poor performance on the stand (oh God it was unbelievable the way she tried to beef up the whole story), the jury came back with a guilty plea for us. They had to, because our dog or the bone did bite her.
They awarded her the amount her insurance did not cover and I believe 1 or 2 missed days from work. It came to about $1,500. We saw her in the parking lot when we left, she was crying. She was expecting the big payday and it didn't happen.
However, the 10 year friendship did end. We were Girl Scout leaders together for most of those years, our daughters were best friends, but I could never want to be friends with someone who would do such a thing and consider it well, after all, the insurance will pay.
So be careful what you are expecting. Expect the whole thing to take a long time to get to court and the results to be perhaps less than you expect. Now, maybe your daughter is significantly scarred by the dog bite. I don't know and don't want to offend you with my story. Also, hopefully you have pictures that you took right away when it happened. You will probably need them. Plus you will have to be able to find a lawyer who will take it to court for you. My ex-friend's lawyer was about as inept as could be. I almost felt sorry for her.
Ummmm, I think her point is that they should pay - sm [2008-07-01]
all the medical costs. What she should do is get all the bills/records from the insurance company and write to the insurance company copying the dog owners. The health insurance company will then go after the dog owners for payment of the hospital bills. They are getting off scot free from their dog injuring someone, I think that is the point MT is trying to make. Also a health insurance company can drop you too just like home owners or car, so if they are po'd about having to pay for the kids care when the dog owner should have paid for this, they could cancel their insurance (for the victim's family) and then the girl's family is doubly screwed. It sounds like the dog was impounded, but at home (this is what happened here when my neighbors dog bit me, totally unprovoked, dog just ran up to me and bit...barely broke the skin but dog did not have up to date shots--owners lied about that--dog was quarantied at home for 2 weeks then was allowed out after that)--From the sounds of it that is what happened here. I was somewhat traumatized and did not like to go out walking much after that but I got over it, it helped that the dog in question got hit and killed by a car though one of the times it was out running loose. ---Insurance companies love to pass the buck, so this would get some results. I fell last year on some ice and spained my shoulder really good, my insurance wrote me asking me where I fell, etc. so they could see if they could get $ from someone else, I had to disappoint them as I fell on my own front porch steps, guess I am lucky they didn't go after our homeowner's insurance, LOL.
Scary isn't it? [2008-06-30]
I don't have any advice for you, but I have an 11 year old son. Found out that lots of kids in his MIDDLE SCHOOL are having sex, drinking, smoking, and using drugs. This is in a 'supposedly good' school in a suburb of Atlanta. There is also some gang activity. I will be homeschooling him starting this fall.
I am so sorry to hear of your problems with your daughter. I hope that someone here is able to offer you some sound advice. I know that it is not a good feeling to have someone living in your house whom you feel you cannot trust.
A lot depends on your daughter, not just you - sm [2008-06-30]
Is she sensible? There are not many 16-y/o that have not tried drinking or smoking, it is all part of trying new things,etc. and it will happen whether you like it or not. You have to learn to trust her to make smart decisions and to make her own mistakes but obviously to guide her and make sure she doesndate had MadDog, nasty stuff, and I got obliterated as I did not realize what that crud would do to me. Lucky for me my dad was out of the country at the time. My punishment was being forced to go to school with a horrible hangover (though I puked my guts out in my friendscares). I actually went and got on the pill while still a virgin so when it did happen I would be protected. --- is your daughter that sensible and with some common sense? I did a lot of stupid things along with the smart things I doing, just got lucky and came out of it okay. At 16 you want to experiment and have fun. All my friend and I were A/B students, 1 smoked and did all sorts of drugs. I would drink and smoke pot now and them (1 x a week or so), and again parents NEVER knew it. I remember one time my dad picked me up at school after play practice (was helping out with set design), I was stoned, had been slipped angel dust and had been hallucinating about an hour or two prior, was still pretty high. He wanted me to drive home for practice (I was 16), I turned him down because I was very tired.....he never knew, I crawled into bed the minute I got home. I was very, very good at hiding it from my parents, how they didn't smell it on me I never knew, unless they just ignored it. My best friend smoked and they new that so I guess that helped cover it up a bit. Despite all this I was very anti-drug (anything but pot) as I had seen too many people messed up on coke, crank, LSD, etc. I was furious with my BF's brother as he was the one who slipped me the angel dust, I got lucky as nothing bad happened to me. He is dead now, ended up addicted to coke, then alcohol, got hepatitis, car-jacked 3 cars for drug money, and ended up in prison with a 20 year sentence, got out after 8 years in 2006, then got addicted to painkillers, they found him dead in his apartment, killed by mixing alcohol and painkillers. This just happened about 8 months ago. He was only 42. Very sad as he was a smart guy but had many, many problems and never got his life together. Obviously this does not happen to everyone who does drugs, it all depends on the person and their upbringing. His sister (one of my BFs) is a successful therapist, drinks but quit smoking several years ago, never got into hard drugs like her brother. ---sorry for the rambling, but don't go overboard and lock her up, that will just make her go in the opposite direction. Obviously you need to set limits, etc, and try to know where she is and who she is with, and set punishments if you catch her doing it and let her know what those punishments will be, whether it is grounding for a month, or no cell phone, no TV, no driving, whatever, be firm and stick to it. I know that my brothers and I all did stuff, most of which we got away with, but it was shear luck and stupidity when I look back at it. Not all kids are so lucky. I hope you daughter is one of the lucky ones.
Thanks for your replies and suggestions [2008-06-30]
I I Wouldn Thank you all.
Well, now it's my turn to tell my story...(Beware..this is long) [2008-06-29]
Well, I just don I was 26 years old when I met and married my husband. It will be14 years ago this August. I was a platinum blond, Swedish, 26-year-old, voluptuous virgin waiting for my prince to come. I had never dated because I was too fearful and shy. My mother always told me that my prince was coming. She just didnthe prince of darkness. It has been a nightmare, although he says it has been great with only a few bumps along the way. He is abusive in every way including verbally, mentally, emotionally, some physical although very little (not an excuse, just telling it the way it is), what I feel is sexual abuse with me but not the children,but the worst by far is his financial abuse. He has told me many, many times, Who do you think YOU are? What do you think...that you I can find a dozen more women like you. I have three children, now ages 14, 13, and 11. 14-year-old has ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. My husbandis just like this although he has never been diagnosed and never would be because in his own words, I am perfect just like God made me. There is nothing wrong with me. The problem here is you. My credit is down the toilet. Credit score is about 500. His is 800. Through the years, when the children were babies I had to feed them dry cereal with a cup of water because he wouldn One very hot night in the summer, I had to feed them generic hot dogs and pink beans, which were some kind of bean that slithered out of the can in a gelatinous material. The kids werewere dry heaving at the table. One day when I was about 8 months pregnant with my last child, he came up to me and said, Well, I I said what He said (very matter of fact), I I won If you want something, get off your f______fat a__ and get a job. I had a 6-month-old and a 1 1/2-year-old and 8 months pregnant with the third one. What!! Get a job!! Are you crazy?? He said, Oh well. Famous last words. That is all I ever hear. He has ripped out phone lines, denied us food and clothing. We have two cars. He used to hide the car I would drive around the neighborhood so I couldn He would even take the carseats. One time when I was pregnant, I had no money so my girlfriend needed a babysitter a few hours a week. She lives in Connecticut, which is about 45 minutes from my home. She could only pay $45 a week but I would drive up there four days a week to watch those kids just to get that measly $45. One day when I was leaving to go, I wanted $2 for an ice cream cone (I was pregnant at the time and that was my thing during that pregnancy). I asked him for $2 and he said no. I reached into his wallet and took $2 anyway. So he came after me. I took out the butcher knife but he ran outside to get to the car first so I couldn I put away the knife and ran out the back door to try to get to the car first but he got there before me. I reached in to try to grab the car keys out of the ignition when he rolled the window up as hard as he could. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I thought he was going to break my arm. I was able to backhand him and he unrolled the window. A little while later I ran to the neighbors to call the police because he ripped the phone lines out. I was there for about 15-20 minutes calling the police, family, and my friends to come and help. When I got back to the house, he had taken both cars (hid one in the neighborhood) and went to work. He left my 9-month-old and 1 1/2-year-old children all by themselves (and at the time I lived on a very busy street where cars would drive by at 50 mph). When I walked in, they were sitting on the living room floor screaming at the top of their lungs. The next morning I was in the shower and I lifted up my arms to wash my hair when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the underside of my arm. It was a jet black bruise about four to five inches long by about two inches wide. It was literally jet black. I was stunned. When I called the police, I told them what was going on with his abuse. I told them I was pregnant with two little ones at home. I told them I had no food. I told them and showed them the bruise and I told them I wanted to press assault charges. They said, He did that to you? I said yes. I said, I want him arrested for assault. I told them where he worked. They turned around and told me that because the incident happened the day before that there was nothing they would do and that they weren They told me to just let him lie low for a while. This happened in 1996. We are not talking the 50s here. This was just before they handed me a pamphlet on battered women and battered women The pamphlet said there does not have to be any sign of physical abuse. If you are in a situation where you simply fear for your safety, the person can be arrested. And I am sitting there pregnant with ahuge, jet black bruise underneath my arm from where he rolled my arm up in the window. This is just a few tidbits of the life I have had with him. There have been some good times and good vacations but mostly bad. We have fought so bad for years and years that I know the toll it has taken on the kids. The guilt I have is insurmountable. If he buys groceries, I have to pay him back. If he pays the phone bill, I have to pay him back. If he buys me anything or gives me a $10 or $20 bill, I have to pay him back. Most of the time, I am not allowed to go into a store with him. I went with him once to Wal-Mart and I put a $2 box of sweetener into the carriage. That was it. I am now not allowed to go into a store with him. He screams at us that he pays the rent, therefore, it is his house and we have to learn to live the way he wants us to and we should be catering to him. If we don He has told me for years that he is a king and that the house is his castle and that he has allowed us to live with him because he is kind, loving, and gracious. He will only buy oneChristmas gift for his kids and no stocking stuffers or tape or wrapping paper or anything like that.I have to do that with what I get paid to do MT work. He doesn When they were little, I would tell him that the children needed some cool clothes for summer. He would take their little pants and cut them off and then take their turtleneck shirts and cut off the turtle neck and cut off the sleeves and say, There you go. There Or he would just tell me, Go ask your sister to buy them some clothes. He has threatened to kill me and the children if I leave. He has told me that he would kill me and the children before I would ever see child support. He has a sex fettish where he wants it all the time, every day multiple times in a day if he could get it (not that he does, mind you. I stopped that crazy crap a long time ago), and I am just supposed to stop all that I am doing and fulfill his needs (even though sex for me offers virtually nothing other than soreness,swelling, and boredom and has always been like this). If I don I am very overweight, I smoke like a chimney, my credit is destroyed, I don I have less now 14 years later than I did before I married him. At least before I married him I had my own very nice car and some clothes. I don My clothes are tattered, stained, and worn. And...I had dreams of what my life was going to be like when I got married. But it certainly was not a life like this. My kids are older now and they are seeing their father for who he is. He blames me and tells me it is all the bad stuff I am telling the children. I keep telling him it is what they have seen for 14 years. They beg me to divorce him. My youngest, who is 11, was diagnosed last year with severe ulcerative colitis. He has had a flare now for the past six weeks with at least ten bouts of diarrhea with blood every day. He talks about depression a lot and always asking me what it is. When I got the call last year from his pediatrician telling me to take him to the hospital for a possible blood transfusion (this was when we got his diagnosis), Ialmost fell on the floor from fear. I called my husband at work to tell him he needed to come home. He said, I can I have to work. He said, Don His red blood cell count had dropped to 7.2 froma normal of 12 because of his bleeding. He came to the hospital when he got out of work. He showed up at 6:00 p.m. We went outside and talked for a bit and then about 20 minutes after he showed up, he said, Well, I have to go home to eat and shower. I When I got angry, he said Hey, I I need to rest. Besides, there We still didn I didn I was scared to death. But he had to go home to eat and shower and rest!!!! I think that was the beginning of the end for me. I once read something on these boards that someone posted saying Marriage is not supposed to be a good deal for one and misery for the other. That is what my life has been. My marriage was a great deal for him...kids that he never has to pay for (I mean nothing...not school projects and believe me there are a ton of them, not clothes, not shoes, notebooks, backpacks, nothing), free sex, and a wife that he doesn I believe in my soul that my marriage was a good business deal for him. If you knew my husband, you would laugh at that statement because he is extremely uneducated and talks like a mentally retarded person. People in the past have actually asked me if he was mentally retarded. He thinks that if my son would drink lots and lots of water, that that will cure his ulcerative colitis and makes fun of me and insults me and everyone else. Itell him he is a moron and he doesn His abusive mother made them drink nothing but water. She would not buy them anything or strive for a better life. They lived in a nightmare life. So now he gets very angry when we woncure everything. He tells us that he is trying to show us how to live right but we just won He tells this to other people too including our landlord. He has the most disgusting habits. He picks scabs and eats them, he has eczema and psoriasis so he is one huge flake, which he enjoys picking off chunks and dropping them in a pile on the floor, he passes unbearable gas (like every two or three minutes that has such a horrid stench it makes all of us nauseous) and then flips out if we spray a room spray. He will actually grab the can and scream that this is his house and we are all just disgusting to live with and just impossible to live with. He just had a fight with my 12-year-old daughter tonight because he was passing tons and tons of gas and she sprayed a room spray. He got up in her face screaming at the top of his lungs at 11:00 at night that this is his house. He will pass gas all he wants and that he won She was crying and begging me to divorce him. She kept saying, You said it would be better for the family if you stayed married to him but it It won Well, I could go on and on. It has been 14 years of this but I think you get the picture. I have no money. I don I have a son who is going to need ongoing frequent medical care and I am afraid he will cancel the insurance if I do anything to get rid of him. I have a great fear for our safety. He has major problems with having to give up his money so to haveto pay child support will send him over the edge. He is a pathological liar so you can He told me, I would never allow anyone to judge me like that. You can tell the judge to kiss my balls. He seems to expect the absolute highest standards from the children and I but he doesn Never has and never will but will shove it down my throat when he doesn Well, any advice. I really am looking for legal advice for anyone else who has been through this. I know I need to get rid of him...for the kids sake. They need to see that life is not like this and not all men do this and that you don My daughter, who just turned 13, says to me she hates men with a passion. I told my niece that I felt like I was dying. I never, never, never, never leave my house except to go to Dunkin Donuts up the street to get a coffee. I haven And that is three hours probably once every two months. I am lonely, isolated, and ragingly angry. I want to go back to school but when I talk about that, he poo poos it saying I should go back in five or ten years or 15 years when my bills are paid and I can afford it. HELLO????? I am going to be 43 in October. Maybe I should just wait to go back to school until I Well you get the picture. If you By the way, when I bring up any of his abuse to him, he tells me I don Funny, he always remembers every time I swear at him though. Has never forgotten a single time.
30! [2008-06-29]
Mine was at 30. I am 31 now. I just keep having this feeling like I haven We can also get on with our life, find our next house and start thinking about having a family, so I didn't cry this year, but next year my birthday will be great because I will be home in the US where I want to be instead of here where I am miserable!
I am the only one that thinks something is up with this story.. [2008-06-29]
Things just donshe was 26 years old14 years ago, which makes her 40, but later she states she is going on 43. She had a 1-1/2 year-old, 6-month-old and 8 months pregnant..hmmm. That makes her having gotten pregnant BEFORE the 6-month-old was born. Later, she is pregnant and they are 9 months and 1-1/2 years old. Then, she stated that her 12-year-old tonight (keyword here) had a fight with her dad but later this same child is 13, just turned, so I'm guessing on the same day? which is tonight. Just a lot of inconsistencies. I'm not sure why or how someone would make this up but I just find it odd. Maybe someone needs attention.
Need advice on 16 year old daughter. SM [2008-06-29]
I just found out that my 16 1/2 year old daughter has been drinking and smoking and has been lying to me about this. I found out and confronted her and she came clean stating that she drinks, but has never been drunk, will just have enough to where she is happy and also smokes 3 to 4 cigarettes a month, she says. I have now lost complete trust in her because she has been lying to me all this time stating that she did not drink or smoke and neither did her friends, etc, etc. She has always been a good girl (or at least I thought so) and is an honor student. She just got her driver's license in May. The first thing that I have decided to do is to not let her drive for a while. This is my first experience with this and I need advice and guidance on what the appropriate punishment is. Please help.
|
|
|