If you who have kids or grandkids check out the lunar eclipse tonight....

My kids like them also but...... [2008-11-21]
They also know that money spent elsewhere is money that takes away from their gifts :). Two of the three have birthdays in December, so that makes a difference. December is a killer for me but at least I get it all knocked out at once and have another year to plan!

Just check all the ads in the newspapers. [2008-11-21]
Most stores have special coupons for early birds on Friday morning. Around here, stores open around 4 a.m. and last year we got there at 3 and stood in line in the cold just waiting to get in. Good luck. Don so unless you are first in line at those places you are usually out of luck. I know last year, people were in line at Best Buy at 2 a.m. waiting for it to open at 5.

Will spend about $300 for the grandkids.. [2008-11-21]
we donmetal detector, probably around $1200 and I have the same amount to do something with. We don't really buy gifts for each other but we do go away for Christmas week to a cabin in the mountains that we rent, no phone, no TV, have to drive 12 miles to get cell service. We relax, read, snowshoe, ski, bring the portable DVD player and catch up on movies, sleep late. That's our gift to each other.

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.

Dogs v kids [2008-11-18]
I am a sucker for a pretty face & don't have kids, so I am at my dogs' mercy. You should see their stockpile of dog treats. It's ridiculous. School lunches. $2 a day! Doesn't sound like a lot for a meal, but it sure adds up...you would think they would give you some kind of deal because you have 3 kids. I guess I'm assuming they all go to the same school. Now I'm dating myself, but when I was in elementary school I think it cost 40 or 45 cents for lunch. A nickel for milk. Amazing!

Anybody watching the kids [2008-11-18]
on Dancing With The Stars? Good golly, those kids are good. Must take a good deal of discipline to get that far. Love it.

Check eBay. I am a doll collector and restorer on the side sm [2008-11-17]
I am also into reborning, though I have yet to have any to ebay. I tend to do very personalized custom dolls. I also sew doll clothing, but I chose not to do that this year because I have not had the right kind of time. Save my email address because I will start to have some doll clothing next year when I am no longer on hiatus. I had to take the time off because I am landscape painting this fall, now I feel badly I can't help you!

Did you check eBay? [2008-11-16]
That's the first place I check when I'm looking for something like that. I also just did a quick search on Amazon and they have American Girl things, too.

Most are just hoping to have some joy for their kids sm [2008-11-14]
Wefantasy. They do put it together at a certain age and itWe had an older kid who spoiledour Christmas party because he thought it his business to out the Santa thing to the younger ones as he was, bless him, highly intelligent and was told the truth from birth. Had some kids crying at one point. I think the point is, do what's right for your own family and try to have something for the kids to look forward to in these hard times especially. There is no right or wrong, just all interpret things differently and we're all very tired of all this bad news going on in the world. Have to look forward to something! Happy Holidays, no matter how you celebrate! We adults know the reason for the season. Bottom line - be happy! Life is temporary, imagination is wonderful, it takes us away from the bad news for awhile. Joy to the world and to each his own. As long as the older kids keep the secret to themselves, they also should enjoy the excitement of watching the little ones have fun with it. It's all good.

No when I originally wrote the check [2008-11-08]
The check was a voided check to Wal-Mart and the Loan company, CNH Capital, knew that and cashed it anyway. I thought it was illegalfor someonecash a check that did not belong to them.

Check Your Email. [2008-11-08]
//

Bringing your kids to see their granddad sm [2008-11-05]
My perspective: I had an uncle who was severely ill several years ago. His sons lived in different parts of the country and when he was well enough, they flew him in to visit. I could not see him so often, so I decided to write little notes to him from time to time. Talked about some funny things that he had done and how much they made me laugh. When he was gone, my aunt told me how much those trips and the notes meant to him, it was like a gift that he and the family got to experience before he was gone, a chance to say good-bye, that many people don't get. My prayers are with you and your family.

I wrote a $10 check to Wal-Mart and turned in to a $40 mistake so far. [2008-11-05]
Here is what happened. When you write a check at this Wal-Mart here, they have you sign something and give the check back. I stuck it back in my purse. They are supposed to void. I was cleaning at my purse that day and paying bills at the same time. I wrote a $250 to pay a loan. I really don A week later, i was looking at my acct online. I notice that that $10 I had written to Wal-Mart went through twice. I called the bank and asked why. They said, oh, it looks like Wal-Mart double dipped. so I was refunded the money. I don Anyway, I became concerned about why that 250 check didn They said $10 was credit to my acct. I did not connect the 2 at the time. I thought, 10, I don The man told me he would look into it incase there was a mistake. He called back the day later and said that was a $10 originally written to Wal-Mart and we cashed it. So I called the bank and told them. They then had me go to wal-mart because they said I owed them $10 back. I go to wal-mart and they say no it is the Telecheck, company they use for this service andthey thanked me for trying to clear it up and said Telecheck will be contacting me. So I get a letter in the mail saying I owe $40 plus I am not allowed to write checks anywhere that uses their service until I pay that $40 back. Whatscares me is that that check said VOID on it and that other bunch wasstill able to cash it and get their money, which I think was dishonest of them...also my bank let it go through.Now what if I were to loosea bunch of those type checks and someone cashes itAGAIN. Man I would be out a lot.Do you think any of this is right? TIA.

How do I tell the kids about Grandad? [2008-11-04]
We are going to see him at the hospital tonight, how do I tell them he has 2 weeks to 2 months to live? Or should I tell them at all and just let them visit with him as normal? The are 12 and 14.

Why when I am watching the kids is it a given and when my husband watches them he is (sm) [2008-11-03]
babysitting?

If you do this tonight, you'll not run into any problems! - sm [2008-10-30]
Tomorrow's Halloween!

For your future and that of your kids [2008-10-24]
You may not think so, but you've got a lot of things going for you, the most important being that you realize you need to do something. Short term: You've gotten great advice about making small changes, like exercising, losing weight, etc. Go for it. Long term: YouThe journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step? Take that step and you will be surprised what you can do.

I do believe the Bible, I just don't want my mom scaring my kids (sm) [2008-10-22]
And she used swearing on the Bible as a way to further convince the children that she had seen demons and ghosts, as if they weren't scared enough. That was the kicker...that really scared them even more.

Bullying...your kids [2008-10-22]
How would you handle it if you were to find out it was your child who was the bully?What if it was your child that was being bullied?

Thank goodness both my kids are pretty much grown up sm [2008-10-22]
Both are in college, one away and one at home. My gift will be supporting them in everything they do unconditionally, past, present, and future. Just can't do gifts this year. But I WILL have my traditional 3-foot tree LOL. Rays in WS is enough for us all, though!! :-)

I have banned my mom from seeing my kids [2008-10-21]
Your situation is similar to mine, but my mom has gone a little further. I have 4 children,2 from my first marriage and 2 from my second. My second husband has been with my older two children since they were 4 and 5 and we have been married for 11 years (so obviously he is not going anywhere). I found out about a year ago that she had been talking to my oldest two kids for years about how horrible she thought my husband treated my older kids and how he doesnown children. We had been having problems with my 16 year old daughter at the time and everything can now stem back to much of this. We couldn But they were being fed information behind our backs. Everything from he is cheating on your mom, he is abusing your mom, he is a scumbag, etc. My mother also believes in the other side which is fine with me, but don We don She would frequently talk to my youngest two, who are only 7 and 8, about traveling out of body, talking to spirits, and how they were reincarnated. This was on top of stuff like after being told not to take the kids bike riding down a road that is 55 mph (no sidewalks) with no helmets on and she did it, not just once, but 3 times. Then when I caught her lying about it, she paid off my daughter by taking her shoe shopping! No wonder my kid is messed up. She was told over a year ago to knock it off or supervised visits only (she was told once previously as well). She didnworship her enough for mother It has been the hardest thing that I have had to do, but to save my marrige, my sanity and my kids, I did what I had to do. We live in a small town as well and of course mouths are wagging. The schools are under strict order to not let her in to see them as well and know the situation. My stepfather is dumbfounded and doesn But he is only hearing her side of things. I told him to get her into counseling and that would be the ONLY way I would even think of mending this, but it has yet to be done. You have to do what is right for your family and if this creates this much uproar in your family, then only you can decide how much you can take.

protect your kids [2008-10-21]
As a mom your first priority is to protect your kids, not protect your mother's feelings. If you feel your mother is crossing the line and won't stop after you talk to her, do what you need to to protect your kids.

Oh please. I live in SF, and the kids are going to see their [2008-10-16]
they would have regardless, even if she were marrying a man. The lesson they may learn is that of tolerance, inclusion, and most of all, LOVE. If they were excluded from attending the wedding, it would just teach them HATRED, and there's far too much of that in this country. They also may get a lesson in dirty politics after the election, as the religious right in Calif. is trying to strike down the legality of same-sex marriage, which the Calif. Supreme Court had upheld as a basic American right. I have many gay & lesbian friends, and they are no less human nor caring than anyone else. And probably more so, considering the persecution they have to endure just to love the person of their choice. Anyway, what the kids are going to see is a WEDDING. A celebration of LOVE. At that age, that's pretty much all they're going to remember about it or care about.

No, in the MW our kids go to school to get an acutal [2008-10-16]
xx

Yes, and friends too. But school is where kids learn facts, so whatever their teacher says (sm) [2008-10-16]
they are going to think it must be right. I think that is unfair leverage to use to support your own point of view as a teacher.

Well he finally left....sm [2008-11-22]
He asked when my husband would be home and I said tonight and he left. He is staying somewhere else. He is getting an apartment next week 30 miles away from here he said so I am glad. I hate to say it but I am tired of babysitting. I got to where when he comes and won't leave I just stay in my office.

OMG! I did the same thing. I have a picture..sm [2008-11-21]
I My kids were younger so the dollar store was great! Seriously, my living room was full! It For little kids that was easy. But now they I miss those days of buying from the dollar store and filling the living room. Now, theyonly get 1 or 2 presents and I hate it. It makes me cry every year. I'll look for that picture on my break and try to upload it.

Help is a safety net you have paid for sm [2008-11-21]
Food stamps are a safety net we all pay for, all forms of public assistance are things we have been paying for all along. TAKE the help you need! Do move closer to family if you possibly can. I have been in your shoes myself. I lost my home to foreclosure 4 years ago because of having a near-fatal drug interaction and losing my job of nearly 7 years. I made a couple of moves and finally ended up in a small town out of state from where I had lived for 30 years. I lived with a close friend for about 9 months and had the opportunity to buy a mobile home for $3000. The people I bought it from said I could make payments and I was able to pay it off in 5 months. It needed a lot of work and it has gotten it, most of which I have done myself. This project really helped me to regain parts of myself I had lost. It gave me a reason to get up and get going on my days off. I turned this ugly old thing into a lovely, comfortable home I cherish. I have lost about 50-60 lbs since living here and I have brought the idea of vastly cutting expenses in line with making more money. The end result is that I am very well off financially, better than in my entire life. DO get medication to help you if you can. I didn't have medication to help because I am allergic to every psychotropic in existence. I did this by pulling myself up by the boot straps, but if I could have had help, I would have. There IS a brighter future out there. You CAN have that brighter future because you DESERVE IT. That said, no one expects you to get there alone!!! Don't be embarrassed to ask and receive help. You will be able to help others later. Years ago, when my kids were young, I was a single parent, no support and it was Christmas time. My kids didn't even have adequate clothing or food. A neighbor I hardly knew handed me a Christmas card. Inside was a $100 gift card to K-Mart. She said that many years before that, she had been in my shoes and someone had given her $100 one Christmas, she was now paying this forward to me. The only provision was that I return this favor when I could, and that I bought something for myself too because I deserve nice things for my hard work. It was a turning point for me. I have been more of a giver since. Although I could have paid this back last year, I didn't know anyone who would appropriately benefit. This year, I do and I had to tell her that I was going to do this and why. She cried and felt embarrassed because, she said, she was usually in the position to give and it hurt a little to receive. I reminded her that she was GIVING me the gift of giving with pleasure. Others are going to give to you with pleasure, love, friendship and concern for your well being. TAKE IT. One day you'll post back here about how good things are and I'll want to hear it.

I usually do a lot of handmade gifts. This year each kid gets $100 they are all grown sm [2008-11-21]
I make my oldest son boxer shorts, he only likes the ones I make. My other son wanted a robe and matching PJ pants. Daughter wanted a couple of outfits and a denim jacket. My mom wanted something I had knitted up for her. Stepdad just wants to be remembered. My brother won't take anything from me, so no problem there. I will do some small things for my friends, but I won't spend $500 total, even with giving the 3 kids $100 each. I have NEVER spent that much on Christmas! I have worked like a dog all year, but I have had no time to do these things they think they want.

moving out of state [2008-11-21]
Check your divorce laws in your states. Many states will not let you or your (ex) spouse move out of state without permission of the other. Some even have a mileage radius. I think it's to keep both parents close to the kids and not having one parent run far away so the other can't ever see the kids again. My kids were 5 and 1 when I was in the process of getting divorced, and I moved out of state before I realized this. Fortunately my ex realized and understood the need for me and the kids to be close to my family for support, so it was written in the papers that it was okay for me to move out of state and he signed it.

Something to definitely consider. [2008-11-21]
I would skip putting lights up but that is usually my husband's domain. I'm sure he will want to do as usual for the kids but we will definitely have them on a timer so they only run while it's dark and the kids are awake so just a few hours a night probably. I'm not even going to mention it yet and hope he procrastinates to the week before Christmas.

lights [2008-11-21]
We put ours up every year. We only leave them on for about 2-3 hours a night and not every night. We do it because our kids love them.

We use a timer [2008-11-21]
We use a time like a few have mentioned here already and only keep them on for about 3 hours. If we didn't have kids we probably wouldn't do as much decorating as we do, but we go all out, and I could never do without lights just yet.

OMG!! SM [2008-11-21]
I live in South Mississippi and it is currently 44 degrees here. It is supposed to be 26 degrees tonight. If it was 17 degrees here I would not leave the house.

Here's my problem....sm [2008-11-21]
My dad is irresponsible and is in financial debt and doom. There is no way he can make the money to pay the bills he has accumulated. He has borrowed money he shouldnt have. Well the situation is... He has been knowing if he didn He refused to pay it. Every time he would get acheck he wouldn Well he kept not paying it for 2 months. Well yesterday they turned them out. It is freezing here. It is going to be in the 20s tonight. He said I don Well he was told and told to pay it and wouldn So now what does he do? As soon as he gets off work he comes to my house cause he don I can So I can He also said he had no money for food because he had to use it all for diesal for his dump truck. So I offered him food too. He also rumages through my cabinets for snacks. I feel like I am the parent and he is the child. My husband drives a big truck and he has been gone. When I tell him what is going on he gets aggravated because he is sitting at our house and all. He said he is a grown man and needs to step up and take care of himself but he is my dad and I can My husband will be home either late tonight or first thing in the morning and this is not going to go over too well with him. I am at a loss.

we're s'posed to believe this new guy is her husband? [2008-11-21]
i set the DVR, won is the season ending, getting all these new players? i hope they make it believable...

So you do regular maintenance on the computer..sm [2008-11-21]
Such as check for Windows updates, deleting your cookies and browsing history, scanning for errors, and defragmenting? If you need help with any of this let me know. I can give you instructions on it. I have Windows XP so that is the version I know about. I don't know about other versions. These things really make a difference.

No I live in the boonies. In Nothingville. SM [2008-11-21]
I think he has had someone for so long and my mom took care of the bill paying and he never had to worry about bills or shopping or being alone. And now he can't deal with it. They divorced because he was cheating with another woman. I told him go be with her. I mean they are divorced now. If that is what he wants go get it. He said she has a 28 year old son and a 22 year old daughter with a baby who neither one work and lay around her house. He says how am I supposed to be with someone with that kind of mess. He said if I am with her I will basically have to take on her grown kids too. I said well that is her own fault she allows her grown children to be bums. It is just a dang mess. He got himself into it though. With his bills it is like he can't sit down and say hey I can't pay for 2 vehicles and I have to get rid of one and he has other multiple bills I won't even go into. But if he is struggling to pay for both let one go back. I told him go file bankruptcy if you are having really bad problems with finanes. He said I don't want to file bankruptcy. Oh no. I said well that or lose your stuff. I have tried to give him advice and help him but he won't listen. He is stubborn.

Christmas Club...sm [2008-11-20]
I have three grown kids (includes 1 in-law) and I have money taken out of my paycheck through the year and whatever the amount is when I get the check, I divide that by 3 and that is how much I spend on the kids. It I put back through the year from my OT and get my husband something nice and then I just pick up a few inexpensive things along the way for a couple of other people I like to give a little something to. I don't think anybody really cares how much I spend on them, but I do try my best to be equal in what I spend on the kids, even at their ages now!

According to DH, our budget is $1,000 [2008-11-20]
But more likely I We have 3 kids. We usually get them 1 big gift to share and then round it out with smaller gifts. This year, they It The breakdown of the other $350: Parents $150, Grandma $25, Gift Exchange $60, Siblings (from my kids $20, Niece/nephew: $40, Teacher Gifts $30, Student Gifts: $15. The remaining $30 will go to Toys for Tots! Each of my kids like to pick out a $10 gift to put in. I have 3 siblings and 1 that My brother that Of course, my 2 unmarried siblings also buy small gifts for my children, so we always get them a little something from them -- usually lottery tickets or a gas card for Sheetz. $10 used to fill We do our exchange party on Christmas Eve. It keeps the kids entertained and gives them a little preview of what I have to say I enjoy Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day. It Teacher gifts kill me. It I usually go for a coffee mug with a Christmas scene or teacher saying on it and fill it with candy. Of course, DH thinks I do all this for Christmas for $1000, but why tell him and spoil it? We do a Christmas Club for $1000 every year and I just buy the other stuff here and there. We already got our Christmas gifts for ourselves -- a 46-inch LCD TV for DHand a Dooney Bourke purse with matching wallet for me. Now you all got me excited again about shopping next week. I I always wait until the day before Thanksgiving to do that so I know I won For those of you below who posted that you don Let me just say that I don I sometimes snag a deal or 2, but I learned a long time ago not to wait until Black Friday to get the most sought after items. Best to get them in Sept or Oct.

I have done it twice and never again. Last [2008-11-20]
year we were up at 3 a.m. and then ended up standing in line for almost 2 hours to check out, THEN I had to start work at 8 a.m. My daughter loves it, so she is going with my aunts this year.

Haven't done it for years . . . sm [2008-11-20]
but this year my 14-year-old daughter and her friend and mother are all going to try it again with me. I am looking forward to it, because I think it will be a lot of fun for me and my daughter! We don't go out too seriously, though, just for fun!!! I used to like to bag the bargains when the kids were little, but nowadays the bargains never match my list!!!

My husband is oblivious to our finances [2008-11-20]
Sometimes that It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can I I would suggest talking to the leader of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don It doesn I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn I For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand. As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.

there is a parallel universe! [2008-11-20]
Depressed is the right word for what he feels, so you can shut your mouth right now. This is all about guilt. I am a step-mom too and I swear you are telling my story down to the glasses! I would love to tell you that you are in this together and partners, etc., but the truth is my husband did not come around until he got a good job, a really good job that had status and paid a lot of money, and he had to do that all on his own. I let him buy expensive clothes, because for some reason, every time he got a raise it co-incided with buying a nicer suit or tie, so you can help him there. All the nightmarish gift exchanges, arguments about buying lotto tickets, not eating out, step-kids, all the horrific details and arguments just came down to him deciding to step up. Then it all just went away, the depression, the lotto tickets, and the give away the farm stuff too. Good luck to you! Don't give up on him!

congratulations [2008-11-20]
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Again, I have to tell you we have so much in common! It was the birth of my daughter that inspired my husband to be his better self. Oh, and the step-kids growing up....... that is a whole other thing and they still cost you money, but at least the lawyers are out of it by then! Congrats again! YOU hang in there!

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.

I need some help here -- [2008-11-20]
I am so depressed... I don I just filed bankruptcy 2 years ago because of this job. My income changed so drastically that I lost everything. My car, my home, all of it.I just got things back on track earlier this year and now this crap has to start all over again. I do not foresee being able to make my rent payments on my new house that I just moved into, my cable will be turned off tonight at midnight for nonpayment, I have an old car now and everything keeps tearing up on it and I cannot afford to fix it, I just looked in my closet and I have no clothes to wear anymore, I have gained 50 pounds, I cry all the time, I am by myself all the time in this house, my family all live about 50 miles from me, so it is not affordable to drive there all the time, I have no friends, and as you can tell, I am seriously DEPRESSED!!! I don I have done everything. I have no life outside of my home anymore. I never go out, I never take trips, my 5 year old grandson just this weekend asked me why I did not buy him a birthday present for his birthday last month (no money) and Christmas is coming up, which of course will be more of the same since there is no money... Sorry to unload, just needed somewhere to go for a minute...

I think about it a lot but different situation (sm) [2008-11-20]
My two children are almost the exact ages of yours. My husband doesn't have the drinking issue but has plenty of personality issues. I think you absolutely should leave, no ifs, ands or buts. I just think being in that environment is awful for your kids, he is saying it is not going to work anyway and talking about ending the marriage. I say if he doesn't change then yes, go, without a doubt.

make a call [2008-11-20]
Look in the phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous and call the central office. Tell them you need someone to make a 12-step call. Someone from your local area who is in AA will come over to your house and talk to your husband and you can leave with the kids during this time. By the time you get back, your husband will have decided whether or not he will sober up. Usually the person he talked to will assume responsibility for taking him to the meetings or finding someone who will sponsor him. So you are off the hook at this point. On the other hand, he may decide no thanks and then you will have your real answer. AA is free and pretty crowded with new people around the holidays, so the timing is good. The average age of a person coming into AA is 25 to 45, so there should be plenty of people for him to talk to. At the same meeting place there should be meetings for you called Al-Anon and for your son called Alateen. Good Luck!

you gave yourself your own answer [2008-11-20]
You need to move 50 miles and be with your family. I would start packing tonight. As far as I am concerned, if the cable is off, there is no reason to stay....you are going to be okay!