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I've been there. [2008-11-22]
I don't believe in getting even - although, whew! I'm human. I've performed several mental castrations.
But through quiet observance, being stuck around this person albeit distant, I learned I didn't have to stoop. Life took care of that time and time again with the fool.
Talk it out with the right person, cry it out, write it out as much as you can; key word is out. Find an outlet, running, drawing; don't bury it within.
I've been there [2008-11-20]
I have been in your shoes. Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm). That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I I canhow depressed III am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in.
The poster above is right. You need to see a doctor. I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money. Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance. They will not refuse you. I found a clinic near my house that is part of a largehospital. I was able to see a doctor for a physicalandget my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge. They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again. They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month.
Move closer to your family. You My family has been supportive of all the decisions I Spend time with yourgrandchild, kids can make you feel so much better.If you I did. I didn Forjust myselfI was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped outtremendously. I know it You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet. It may take a while, but you will make it. Good luck to you.
Your welcome! Don't forget to [2008-11-19]
check the theater website for coupons or a frequent visitor card. He probably wouldn't fill one out himself but you could fill it out and include it in with the gift card. Usually you can get free drinks, etc. and it will really stretch the gift card.
We did a movie pack for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law last year. I found a plastic popcorn bucket at the $1 store and wal-mart had candy in the boxes (like at the movies) for a $1. Turned out to be a very cute gift if I do say so myself. We through the giftcard in there instead of buying a $3 card to go along with the giftcard.
I've been wanting one of those every since they came out.(nm) [2008-11-17]
x
Obviously you've never had a family member killed by a drunk driver. [2008-11-17]
Long ago? Time has nothing to do with it. The man has an alcohol problem and left the scene of a homicide. Sounds like you're ok with that. I'm not. It speaks volumes about his character.
I say forgive, of course, but forget, NO WAY......sm [2008-11-16]
To be a true friend and truly care for someone, you first have to respect them and honor their dignity....how can care for anyone, friend, lover, or whatever, if you cannot be TRUTHFUL? How can you say you respect someone whiile blatantly lying to them? As a Christian and hopefully good person, I belive we always have to forgive, but to forget as if nothing had happened, that is impossible, I would think. She betrayed you by lying, not by seeing your ex, that is HER problem if she wants a second-hand loser, but friendship is a sacred bond, I am sure you can forge some newer, better friendships, can you ever feel any confidence in this woman again? Just my firm opinion, I had this done to me many years ago when very young, and although we tried, the friendship was never the same, for obvious reasons. God bless in your decision!
Just to lighten things up - this morning's news - sm [2008-11-15]
SPAM (the canned meat) is back, factory working overtime, two shifts. Only Christmas and Thanksgiving off. Remember Monty Pythom and Spamalot? One of the workers said he was glad to be working but doesn't think he could eat it. Before we knew what was in it, used to have Spam and eggs. I guess it's not that healthy but history repeating itself? Gotta keep it on the light side. A little humor helps sometimes.
I've been in a funk all day and suspect that [2008-11-11]
it will follow my normal pattern of lasting all winter. I love the tree and the lights and watching those once a year movies but I agree about the finances and the very non-hallmark family. Halloween is my favorite but I was a bah humbug for that and didn't even put out a pumpkin this year. Ho hum...
They said to me this morning [2008-11-10]
Well, why didn. My response was, With four of you in the room, NONE of you thought to say
I did it a couple year ago , got 130 or 135 forget - sm [2008-11-09]
which, but either is a very respectable score. My one brother has a genius IQ, and my other is very intelligent, and I have a good head on my shoulders.....though have a usless college degree for the most part, may go back one of these days and get an accounting degree or nursing, who knows.
For me, it's because I usually forget the list! [2008-11-03]
I'm a person who has to write reminders to remember my reminders.
Crying all morning.....sm [2008-11-02]
I have been married 15 years....this morning my husband came in and said, Eric said your storage building is ready! You might think I would be happy. He thought I would be. The problem is that in 15 years of marriage I have been able to pick out nothing. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I would like an outside storage building. I mentioned a couple I had seen. My husband did not discuss it with me at all but went to the neighbor and had him build a storage building. I have no idea what it will look like, no idea what size, what color, anything. It wouldn
11 years ago I had just had a baby and my husband picked out our house while I was home recovering from a c-section. He told me this was where we were going to live. He had refused to even look at any of the houses I had liked during my pregnancy. He told me we would remodel this house any way I wanted, get any furniture I wanted. I was so anxious to get out of the rundown noisy apartment building we were in that I agreed to move here. Then of course, no remodeling, no new furniture.
Three years ago I really needed a new car. My husband said he would start looking for one. HE would start looking for one for me. A year later HE had still not found one. I found a used, reasonably priced car and told him I wanted to buy it. He said no. I told him I really needed a vehicle. It was less than $10,000. He finally agreed but was mad at me for a year over it and told his parents that I had gone out and bought myself a new car. It was actually 4 years old. A year ago he bough a boat for $10,000 that I had never even seen and brought it home and announced we had a new boat. Six months ago he bought a $30,000 truck and took me to see it at the dealership after he had already bought it.
So now I am a b*tch for not being happy about the new storage building. woohoo
You've been married 15 years [2008-11-02]
and you've put up with it for 15 years. There's really no reason for him to change, is there? You've allowed him to do this to you.
Sorry to be so blunt.
I've been in this dilemma [2008-10-30]
once where I was already half way through something and then realized I needed something (an egg I think) and I couldnt bring myself to do it. So I went to the store.
I know of AT LEAST 4 people I know wouldnt think anything of it, and probably more than that, but I would never. I just cant.
Really? I've been doing this over 12 years and never had the problem before nm [2008-10-29]
x
I've been making a "quilt" for my daughter - [2008-10-29]
I have a hard time throwing anything away, so I have material from old clothes of all of ours, plus old sheets, curtains, a shower curtain, you get the gist- I cut them up in to approximately the same size squares. I have most of them sewn together, six across and seven or eight down (about 10-inch squares). Then I think I'll buy a bedsheet for the backing and put either batting, or more probably, because I'm cheap, an inexpensive blanket in between. What I'm doing also is embroidering pictures on each of the squares, so it's turned into a multi-year project, but it will be done before she leaves for college next fall. Really, I mean it! (I started it when she was in 6th grade).
I've never made dumplings before, [2008-10-28]
but that made me think of chicken and waffles. My kids love that dish. I looked up a few recipes for dumplings and maybe I Thanks for the ideas!
I Yummy!!!
For dumplings I just use Jiffy bisquit mix - easy ! [2008-10-28]
mix with water and they're done!
I just heard it on the radio this morning too. nm [2008-10-27]
:(
at least you've still got a sense of humor [2008-10-24]
Good luck.
I've done it - sm [2008-10-24]
When we would go on vacation and still had milk I'd freeze it rather than pour it down the drain. It always seemed fine when I thawed it out again. Not to mention, I used to always freeze breast-milk when I was working out of the house or for babysitters (for what it's worth). Go ahead - give it a try. The only thing, though, it will probably go bad a little faster after it's thawed.
Isn't that a shame? But it's not just a recent thing. I've heard of it [2008-10-24]
//
I've read the books (sm) [2008-10-24]
We actually got HBO solely for the reason of watching this series. So far it is...okay? I love the books but the series is not sticking strictly to them, and is changing some things that I don However, by itself, I do like the series. Just hate it when they go from books and change majorly seriously big things!!
HC
Change your own oil. This is so easy whether your a guy or a girl [2008-10-22]
It’ll typically cost you $10 to change it, and you won’t have to wait at the mechanic for a few hours.
Why would you think her purse was in the trunk of her car?? They've found "items" on a maj [2008-10-22]
road so i'm wondering if it's the contents from her purse. It's very strange - no forced entry, only her purse was taken.
The latest is that she is still in critical but stable condition. If itW and had been at a premier for it late last week.
I've been there. [2008-11-22]
I don't believe in getting even - although, whew! I'm human. I've performed several mental castrations.
But through quiet observance, being stuck around this person albeit distant, I learned I didn't have to stoop. Life took care of that time and time again with the fool.
Talk it out with the right person, cry it out, write it out as much as you can; key word is out. Find an outlet, running, drawing; don't bury it within.
Bring ads from other stores. Most pricematch..sm. [2008-11-22]
So you donThus eliminating running all over town in a mad rush. All you have to do is get to the sale item at that store first before it It makes it sooo much easier and a lot less stressful. I hope I worded that so it makes sense. I'm tired.
Or, get together the day before with a few other people who are going.Each of you is designated a different store and picks up what the others want at their designated store. Then meet for breakfast afterwards to exchange the purchases as well as horror/humor storiesfrom theadventures.Thus, again, eliminating the rushing from one place to another.
I think I I heard you can do that for theblack friday sales and some store will even let you buy online and pick up at the store. (later, after the rush and madness is over!)
Forthe virgin poster, beware, some people can be downright mean, nasty,rude and even violentthat morning. Seriously.Oh, and NEVER leave your cart unattended if you were lucky enough to getone of the limtedamounts per store items. People will literally take them right out of your cart if you And keep your purse in sight at all times. If you bring a purse, have it hang in front of you and not on your side. I like to just keep my money and/or credit card tucked snugly in my front pocket of my jeans and not even bother with a purse.
I can answer that one. Get Clairol [2008-11-22]
Nice and Easy Natural Highlight Neutral Blonde, 098. It is a great color of light blond with highlights. Your hair will be soft after using it too. When you go to drugstore.com, it gives it 5 stars.
live in a town of <150. No zeros. [2008-11-22]
that's less than 150 people, 13 miles from nearest grocery, in the middle of the USA...and i grew up in a big city in CA. but whoohoo!! now we have a cell tower too. turkeys roam the yard every day. sometimes deer, right in town :) and we've been upgraded to high speed I/N as well. Living is good!!
Everyone seems [2008-11-22]
pretty happy. It doesn't seem prurient. I've been in favor of other situations in which people are free to develop on an internal time clock rather than one imposed externally & in that regard there's probably something to this, but the siblings following the first probably got the idea to continue for a long time from watching, so there's definitely a bias there.
Would be interesting for someone to design a study comparing long-time thumb-suckers with children weaned at a later age. This woman would probably say that the experience of breastfeeding can't be duplicated or substituted with a bottle or a plastic nipple because the emotional part of it would be lost. I don't know. I guess it depends on the family involved. I remember on Six Feet Under, how Lisa & Nate were letting Maya sleep in their bed until she decided she didn't want to any more. I think there's just a whole movement out there comprised of people with similar ideas, & until someone does a long-term study, I guess I'd have to say any suggestion that it's out-&-out wrong is just conjecture or has a cultural bias.
Boobage - SM [2008-11-21]
I feel ya, girlfriend...I wear a 32DD and the choices are so limited. Believe it or not, ICurvation. I bought a couple of them when they were on sale because they were really cute (black with pink ribbon trim and leopard print demi-cup with pink ribbon trim), but didn't really expect much from them and figured they'd just look nice.
Imagine my surprise when not only did they look great, they actually provided support, lol!!! I found that the demi-cup is actually even MORE supportive than the full cup style, which I hadn't expected.
Have fun and show those girls off to full advantage :-)
OMG! I did the same thing. I have a picture..sm [2008-11-21]
I My kids were younger so the dollar store was great! Seriously, my living room was full! It For little kids that was easy. But now they I miss those days of buying from the dollar store and filling the living room. Now, theyonly get 1 or 2 presents and I hate it. It makes me cry every year. I'll look for that picture on my break and try to upload it.
Birthdays with holidays. [2008-11-21]
Sometimes I like that the birthdays are around the holidays because then I can buy extra stuff and look at it all and decide how to split it up between the 2. Other times, like this year, we don't have much $ so I would really prefer them to be separated more but can choose that one!
My husband normally leaves the lights on all night. Turn on when he gets home from work and off in the morning...not this year. I think its reasonable to just do a few hours each evening. I don't think we'll put up as many as we normally do either. Usually we line all the windows, roof, bushes, etc. Probably keep it simple this year.
Just check all the ads in the newspapers. [2008-11-21]
Most stores have special coupons for early birds on Friday morning. Around here, stores open around 4 a.m. and last year we got there at 3 and stood in line in the cold just waiting to get in. Good luck. Don so unless you are first in line at those places you are usually out of luck. I know last year, people were in line at Best Buy at 2 a.m. waiting for it to open at 5.
Divorce [2008-11-21]
I divorced my first husband when my children were 1 and 3. He was a crack addict. It wasn't easy but it was the right decision for me. I would definitely suggest going to Al-Anon. I didn't make it there until quite a few after my divorce, but it helped me a great deal. Best of luck with your decision.
Shelly
Whatever sale item is most important to you [2008-11-21]
start there...early. Sale ads from Wednesday night's or Thursday morning's newspapers should tell you the store hours and sale hours. Many end at 11am. My dd and I like to go about an hour after stores open, though it's still dark outside. The crowds that were waiting in line overnight for the big ticket items are gone by then, and most everyone else avoids the stores until the afternoon hours, thinking they will be less crowded. Wrong they are though. There are more employees on duty early rather than later, so things move more quickly in the morning hours. We've also found the earlier crowds to be friendlier. DD starts singing Christmas carols while standing in line and soon lots of others join in. She's a blast to shop with. Then we go to a late breakfast and go home before the unfriendly crowds show up. Hope your experience is an enjoyable one.
Has our country taken a turn for the ... [2008-11-21]
Our once great country, I afraid, has just turned a corner for the worse. I have watched as the mentality of our country has gone from setting your mind to something, working hard, and you can accomplish it to giving up, sitting back, and letting somebody else take care of them.
I was brought up, as many were, with a good work ethic that was instilled in us by our parents. With the idea that if you want something you had to work for it, and by working for something you learned quickly the difference between wants and needs.
There were always incentives for a person to strive to better themselves. Whether it were financial incentives, or just the pride you gained in knowing that you did something yourself, it didn’t matter.
I wasn’t long ago that people had that “small town” mentality, and everybody knew their neighbors. And those neighbors helped each other out, in any situation, it was just what you did. And people were so proud that some times help would have to be disguised, you remember the lines like..”Mom made more stew than we could eat, could you help us out by taking it so that it doesn’t go to waste?”
But, somewhere along the line those thoughts of some (I guess now the majority) have changed. Some how, if somebody works hard to gain something others feel entitled to have the same things, even if they didn’t have to go through the struggle to earn it. Some how, things like big screen TVs, cell phones, and shiny new cars have wrongly slipped from the “wants” list to the “needs” list.
Somewhere the incentives to strive for betterment have been replaced by incentives to be lazy. The easy way out and hand outs are now the norm. The feeling of pride about being self sufficient is supposed to be replaced by guilt for having more than others.
The “small town” mentality is gone and our neighbors have turned into strangers. People no longer help out their neighbors or even themselves, instead they sit and wait for the government to come solve things for them. And when help does come they complain that the help wasn’t good enough or didn’t come fast enough, the pride is gone.
Well, I refuse to think that way, my small town roots and work ethic runs to deep. I refuse to let somebody take care of me while I am willing and able to take care of myself. I will continue to meet and know my neighbors and help them out when they need it. I will continue to work hard to take care of my needs and by doing so, my wants will take care of themselves. I will continue to volunteer for things and give to charities of my choice regardless of what the government wants to take away from me and give to the undeserving.
My hope is to change the thinking back to the way it was. The sun will rise again tomorrow, I’ll keep doing what I do, and this country can be great again….at least in my little corner of it…
How exciting for you -- sm [2008-11-21]
I My mom always drug me out an hour before the stores opened.
The ads usually come out in Thursday In the past, I Get the paper and makea game plan. Some stores open an hour or 2 later than others, so you may be able to get to both in time for the specials you Wal-Mart generally has a lot of specials, especially in the toys dept. Our Wal-Mart gives you a map when you enter to tell you where each BF special is located in the store. They put some stuff in strange places -- like TVs in the meat dept, computers in dairy, etc. It Ask the Wal-Mart greeter when you enter. Our Wal-Mart is also open 24 hours, as are most, which means no waiting outside. We usually arrive an hour before the sales start so we can be in position for the item. Obviously, the most-sought after items are electronics, so be there early if you
Target is 1 of my favorite places because their specials run all weekend, not just until 11 a.m. (I hope it They usually open an hour after Wal-Mart. I usually head there second because even though the specials run all weekend, they do run out of stock.
Kohl The cash can be redeemed usually starting the Sunday after Black Friday.
Don If there
General advise: Wear comfortable shoes. Be polite to others, but don If you got there first, it Make sure you and DH have cell phones so you can communicate if you get separated. Most importantly, HAVE FUN!!!!
Let us know how you make out afterwards.
it never really goes away, you just have to chalk it up [2008-11-21]
as a lesson learned. this is amazing, cuz the same thing just happened to me this week. been helping someone for ages, then they turn on me !! blew my mind and i we can only learn to surround ourselves with the loved ones around us. you can I and go down the long list of things that you know you are blessed with.
this is the worst: youall the people who have done me wrong. so much for getting back to sleep once that list starts creeping into your consciousness.
forgive yourself, realize it and remember, no good deed goes unpunished. -- sorry.
mine's probably obvious [2008-11-21]
aside from the fact that i my initials for tying are MS, which are very common. so, many, many years ago, to separate myself from the group, i changed my initials to MX, which no one had. now, i
also, as is probably common, some of us have other screen names here than just our primary. i have more than one identity here, which shall remain nameless. another one of me is much more of a trouble-maker than the true XanaX, another regards being an ex-employee for another company, and yet another regarding my location in this country. i
What about the ones that are solar-powered? [2008-11-21]
Easy to find in most mail order catalogs, probably places like K-Mart or Walmart, too.
Then you can have your lights, and thumb your nose at PG&E!
Here's my problem....sm [2008-11-21]
My dad is irresponsible and is in financial debt and doom. There is no way he can make the money to pay the bills he has accumulated. He has borrowed money he shouldnt have. Well the situation is... He has been knowing if he didn He refused to pay it. Every time he would get acheck he wouldn Well he kept not paying it for 2 months. Well yesterday they turned them out. It is freezing here. It is going to be in the 20s tonight. He said I don Well he was told and told to pay it and wouldn So now what does he do? As soon as he gets off work he comes to my house cause he don I can So I can He also said he had no money for food because he had to use it all for diesal for his dump truck. So I offered him food too. He also rumages through my cabinets for snacks. I feel like I am the parent and he is the child. My husband drives a big truck and he has been gone. When I tell him what is going on he gets aggravated because he is sitting at our house and all. He said he is a grown man and needs to step up and take care of himself but he is my dad and I can My husband will be home either late tonight or first thing in the morning and this is not going to go over too well with him. I am at a loss.
According to DH, our budget is $1,000 [2008-11-20]
But more likely I We have 3 kids. We usually get them 1 big gift to share and then round it out with smaller gifts. This year, they It
The breakdown of the other $350:
Parents $150, Grandma $25, Gift Exchange $60, Siblings (from my kids $20, Niece/nephew: $40, Teacher Gifts $30, Student Gifts: $15.
The remaining $30 will go to Toys for Tots! Each of my kids like to pick out a $10 gift to put in.
I have 3 siblings and 1 that My brother that Of course, my 2 unmarried siblings also buy small gifts for my children, so we always get them a little something from them -- usually lottery tickets or a gas card for Sheetz. $10 used to fill We do our exchange party on Christmas Eve. It keeps the kids entertained and gives them a little preview of what I have to say I enjoy Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day. It
Teacher gifts kill me. It I usually go for a coffee mug with a Christmas scene or teacher saying on it and fill it with candy.
Of course, DH thinks I do all this for Christmas for $1000, but why tell him and spoil it? We do a Christmas Club for $1000 every year and I just buy the other stuff here and there.
We already got our Christmas gifts for ourselves -- a 46-inch LCD TV for DHand a Dooney Bourke purse with matching wallet for me.
Now you all got me excited again about shopping next week. I I always wait until the day before Thanksgiving to do that so I know I won
For those of you below who posted that you don Let me just say that I don I sometimes snag a deal or 2, but I learned a long time ago not to wait until Black Friday to get the most sought after items. Best to get them in Sept or Oct.
Do any of you have a spouse [2008-11-20]
who can How do you work it out? Are you just stuck always being the bad guy?
Unfortunately, the entire United States is having a difficult financial time. It is obviously not just our household. We have cut back everywhere we can, and I mean everywhere. Our families are having difficult problems as well. We also have an ex-spouse and have had unexpected increases in child support, etc. recently along with unexpected additional expenses where this is concerned. Basically, the child needs new glasses, etc. even though the child really doesn It just seems like it is one thing after another and I know it is for everyone, although the circumstances may be slightly different.
My problem is that I have been telling my husband for months that this was coming, along with Christmas, birthday, etc. He hasn Although we have cut back on many things, on my initiative, it just has not sunk in for him until now...when everything finalized and we dont To top this off, he can Ibad guy because he is ok with all of it although he admits he has no idea where the money is going to come from. I have been upfront with my family and when people ask me but is it too much to ask that he do the same? I dont But of course he wants to constantly remind me (the cheap skate and tight-a$$) to cut back on groceries, etc. which I cannot possibly do any more than I have already. We have nothing left in savings. We have no Christmas fund.
I I donI told you so but I did tell him and he had no concerns until now...when we are seemingly headed towards financial trouble. I have been working OT but his OT has been cut indefinitely from his employer. I I must say he doesn't buy things for himself..its just the piddling away of $20 here and $20 there on top of our already mounting unexpected expenses.
For my fellow Black Friday shoppers, a little tip [2008-11-20]
Don I know they may seem like a great deal, but usually those items are only $20 to $50 less than they normally would be. The aggravation of trying to get it isn
I generally go for the smaller deals -- like the cool PJs on sale and the board games or DVDs on sale. These are great sales. One year, I got 3 Fisher Price/Hasbro games for my 5-year-old for $3 each. DVDs were only $5 each. There were3-piece fleece PJs for $9. These are best deals in my opinion.
I Then I spent the next month trying to find one anywhere for my kid for Christmas.
I go out early on Black Friday for the excitement and some bargains, but never the big ticket stuff. I have that bought before then and stored away safe and sound. To me, it's like tailgating -- the thing that gets me into the spirit of the season!
My husband is oblivious to our finances [2008-11-20]
Sometimes that It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can I I would suggest talking to the leader of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don It doesn I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn
I For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand.
As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.
Thanks [2008-11-20]
Maybe I would feel better if I did take over the bills again. It can't add any more stress to me than I already have with the current situation. I thought him seeing it would bring reality but obviously it still hasn't and how much further do I want to go down this path to the big black hole.
I guess we'll have to sit down and I'll have to do my wifely duty of giving him a pep talk and trying to relieve his stress and mine. He is just going to have to realize, whether he wants to or not, we do NOT have the money for xmas and all that if we want to have a xmas in our house. I just don't see any way around that one but I'll do my best to guide him to making the decisions about what to spend, etc. so he doesn't feel like I'm giving him an allowance or telling him no and we'll see how it goes from there.
Thanks again, I appreciate your talk this morning.
Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here.
Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.
Agree with poster below that [2008-11-20]
you need to get out of that situation, especially after reading what you son said. He is being damaged, and I have seen firsthand what that damage can do to you as an adult. Dysfunctional doesn't begin to describe it. Take action ASAP. I wish you the best of luck, I know it isn't easy.
I've been there [2008-11-20]
I have been in your shoes. Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm). That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I I canhow depressed III am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in.
The poster above is right. You need to see a doctor. I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money. Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance. They will not refuse you. I found a clinic near my house that is part of a largehospital. I was able to see a doctor for a physicalandget my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge. They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again. They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month.
Move closer to your family. You My family has been supportive of all the decisions I Spend time with yourgrandchild, kids can make you feel so much better.If you I did. I didn Forjust myselfI was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped outtremendously. I know it You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet. It may take a while, but you will make it. Good luck to you.
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