It's tough, that's for sure.

So sorry - this is a tough one [2008-11-01]
I REALLY feel badly for you. This has got to be absolutely horrible for you to deal with, as there is not much that can be done, and it is hurting your health. There is only one thing you can do, and that is move. Is there some way you could find a way to do it? The problem with apartment living is that this could happen again, even if you do move, but don't know if it would be this bad. I truly feel your pain, I wish there was a more helpful suggestion to make.

Maybe, but do they have to be that tough even in high school? sm [2008-10-15]
There are so many stories of homosexual high-schoolers being bullied and some even killed. I agree that they have to learn to live in the world as it is, but as high-schoolers, I am inclined to say they deserve some protection.

I am so sorry. You are going to have to get really tough it looks like nm [2008-09-24]
x

That's a tough one. [2008-08-06]
I hate politics...especially among parents in school and sporting events. I would follow your gut. You didn't say if you agree with what was done to the previous president or not. As little association with the annoying neighbor as possible seems logical to me. There's no reason why your children can't be friends and the 2 of you can be acquaitances but not great friends. I think you did the right thing by not joining in her comments and if it continues in the future, maybe just get up and say you have to go. She should get the message. As far as you continuing on as president, you should do it for your kids but only for your kids. If there's a point where you can't handle it, ask for help. Who knows, the ex-president might even be willing to help you out or give pointers....don't take someone else's word for it that she didn't do a good job...maybe this annoying neighbor is just pushy. Sounds to me like there might be an underlying reason why no one else (mainly the annoying neighbor) wanted to be president but wanted you to do it. If you really think you have gotten in over your head, you're probably better off getting out now than waiting to when the school year starts. Surely someone else can step in. The school isn't going to fall apart.

It's tough, that's for sure. [2008-05-21]
I tried smaller companies and larger. Gotta tell you there are a lot of companies (big and small) out there looking to take advantage of a new MT. I came across several myself. One wanted me to start working immediately, that day, right now, with no hiring agreement or anything. All they knew was my first name, had a cut and paste partial resume, phone interview, and a test which I don't even think was a test but free work. It is sad what the jobs are like out there right now for MTs. I am fortunate to have a husband with a good job, not much financial overhead, and more in need of flexibility. For my foot in the door so to speak and a foot out of the 24/7 schedule of inhouse hospital transcription it was the price I had to pay.

that's tough... [2008-05-18]
I don't know anything about this but could it possible be that she has dermatillomania. Google it, there is a lot of information. I went to elementary school with a girl who had trichotillomania (pulling out hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, etc.) and that is what prompted me to google and found dermatillomania. I think you made a good call asking your son to talk to a counselor about it. From what you have described it sounds like she definitely needs some help but who knows how her parent's would react to you contacting them directly.

tough call [2008-03-19]
I know this is tough for you. . I have always hated to tell my daughter no. . Unfortunately, I have had to tell her no many times. . if you don't have the money, you don't have it. . not much you can do. . BUT. are there any programs or anything that could help your daughter - where I live, we have a free clinic for people to go to who don't have insurance. .

Tough love can be a good thing - I agree w/you [2008-01-07]
You did the right thing. He needs to learn otherwise you are going to have a yo-yo on your hands. I wish I had stuck to my guns the first time my son did that. It took me a few years to learn. Moving away from home isNOT something small. It is a BIG thing and you son needs to realize that. I WISH I had listened to someone besides my mothers advice and maybe my son would be better off. IMHO--- People should get real - You took YOUR key back You did NOT kick him out you were giving him what he wanted. You did NOT put him out into the streets. Stick to your guns mom and I think that one day he will be a better man for it.

Wouldn't gluten-free be tough to do? [2007-12-23]
But it would certainly be a huge convenience for people who shouldn't have gluten. I wonder how many people are even able to be compliant with a gluten-free diet.

A tough situation? She's rich. [2007-12-19]
thinks of this young man now? Ohhhh, maybe it Pulleezzee!!!! God bless her!!!

Isolation is tough sm [2007-12-14]
I had an office doing this but never had the time to socialize with anyone in the building as I hated it if they came into my office because it meant I had to stop working. They used to call me the robot and thatnormal and I am not. When I do go out to do something, I always think of the lines I am losing and feel like I'm wasting time and could be making a line count. Crazy!!

Must be tough for you guys [2007-12-12]
Sorry for your troubles and losses...

It was a tough decision, but I'm glad you got [2007-12-10]
your daughter's input and did not have to make the decision alone. Two things will happen. She will find out what a paddling is...and it sounds like she will only need ONE lesson about that issue. The second is that the paddling is over and done with...HER choice. You can't save her from all the bad things life is going to bring her, and she brought the consequence on herself and chose her punishment. You should be proud that she chose EDUCATION by not missing class. THAT will last a lot longer than some stinging on the bum for a few hours. It does not matter which punishment she received, she will feel regret. She will receive a lesson in following the rules and not ruin her grades by missing class. If it were ever to happen again, I would ask for an option of extra school work of some sort...a book report, etc., or running laps around the track. Don't let these extremists make you feel so bad. I seriously doubt there will be any bruising. You made a good choice for letting her have input into her consequence. It sounds like no matter what happens, she has learned a lesson. Good luck to you!

I agree you have a tough situation there sm [2007-12-05]
my friend any my heart goes out to you. I wonder if the school has any suggestions,maybe if you spoke to the school psychologist, if one is available? I'm not an expert here but someone other than your main doctor might have some answers and guidance for you. You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tough [2007-10-18]
Wow, that is a tough one. I know that you don Besides, he would probably be embarassed. I tell my 5-year-old daughter that if someone is not nice to her then they are not her friend. We have a similar situation going on here with the neighbor across the street who rides the bus with my daughter. She is much older and picks on my daughter. I had a talk with the older bully that seemed to work for now. Good luck!

Tough Love advice. My 19-year-old daughter is making me nuts.. [2007-09-15]
I don She is self-destructive and I became the enabler and now it is out of control. She would not go to school so she does not have an education. We had to call the cops numerous times because of her violent outbursts. We had her arrested when she stole our credit cards so she could learn a lesson but the courts did nothing. She was supposed to be court ordered to have a job and attend school, of which she did nothing and there was no punishment. She has never suffered any consequences no matter how hard we tried. She was charged with 10 felonies for the credit card theft but got nothing. She just batted her big blue eyes at the judge and it all went away. I have paid her rent for a year or two, bought her a car and paid for it. All of these of course when she had a job but right after I did all of this she stopped going. She got into meth..You would not believe my heartbreaking nightmare. Some days I just don She just totaled the car so she has no car and no job and still wants me to pay her way and she has lost her license due to DUI and driving again without privileges. It never stops. How far do I take this? She calls me for money that she says is to eat but if I keep giving her money then what is her motivation to go to work. I kept thinking if she hit bottom she could only come up..but she likes the bottom and just hovers there. She adapts to any environment. So when does she wake up and do you think tough love would work on a child with mental issues. I paid all of her doctor bills so she could get help and on medication but just found out she hasnt been taking them. I know I have so many questions but I have no idea how to fix her anymore. I know she needs to help herself but how much is she actually capable of being on drugs and mental health issues. This is devastating to our family and when I donwell, I guess you Now, that is heartwrenching. At some point, I know she just has to grownup, but I don't know if I can survive this. I'm stressed 24/7 and sadly whenever she calls I get such bad anxiety. I can hardly be around her because she is so manipulative and I feel guilty that I try to avoid her. I always thought it'd be different if I just loved her more, spend more time with her and so as a mom, I blame myself because she is so messed up. Guilt just fuels the enabling.. Help.. any suggestions, advice??

I just need to vent! My 15yo son is going through a tough time. SM [2007-09-10]
Lately, my son has been hanging with the wrong crowd -- a crowd known to be into pot and drinking, etc. One of the guys in his group is 23 years old. I have been doing everything in my power to keep him from this group, restricting him to home after school, not letting him leave the house, but he has become rebellious and basically just walks out even when I tell him to stay. On Friday, I received a call from the local police telling me they had found my son They said they didn The police office, however, notified the school and the school in turn called me. I immediately jerked him out of school and took him for a drug test which was negative -- thank goodness! Still I I have set him down and told him he is grounded untill further notice and I have come up with a list of who he can hang out with and who he cannot. One of the boys I am allowing him to be friends with has a single mom and she is basically doing the same things I am doing trying to keep him on the straight and narrow. We both communicated very well with each other. However, over the weekend my sister and brother-in-law involved themselves in my business -- which they do quite a lot especially since I literally live three houses down from them. My brother-in-law absolutely hates me son. He is an jerk to my son every time my son is around. My son cannot stand him either ever since he was 3 years old and my BIL slapped him upside the head when we lived with them. My BIL is a jerk to his own kids, slamming my nephew into walls and choking him, etc. Anyway, my BIL comes to my house with his chest all puffed up saying he did not want my son around his son (my nephew). He basically acted like he was father of the year and started to lecture me on what was wrong with my son. This infuriated me. He even went as far as to say he did not want my son at his house because he thought he would steal from them! My son has never stolen anything from anybody -- EVER! Before I had a chance to respond my phone rang and he was back in his car and gone. Then he proceeded to talk to the woman whose son I have allowed my son to stay friends with and filled her ear with a bunch of crap and now she is forbidden her son from coming to my house or hanging outwith my son. My sister involved my mother and my mother tells me that my sister didn Thing is, my sister hasn She has just communicated with my mom and that's it. Anyway, I've just been so upset about all of this and I've been debating on whether or not I should call my sister and tell her what I think of her husband and to tell her husband to mind his business and stay the heck out of mine. Thanks for letting me vent!

The first day of any drastic change is tough! [2007-09-04]
In fact, the first couple of days! But it'll be soooo worth it. I've always eaten plenty of health foods. Problem is, I've also eaten plenty of really bad stuff, as well. I won't even list my weaknesses, because they are the usual fat and sugar things, and there's no need to have us both wishing for those things! Just today I started back on my WW plan. It's worked for me before, but there are a lot of things allowed on WW that I won't go near, like fat-free processed foods and sugar substitutes. I'd rather concentrate on natural foods. Lucky for me, my mother was a real tyrant when it came to soda. She wouldn't allow us to have it. I thought she was absolutely wicked when I was a kid, but I have to say, as a result of her soft drink ban, I never developed a real love for the stuff. I much prefer plain old water, and probably only drink soda a couple times a year. Today I've been pretty good, though I'm behind on my water intake. But, I did go to the YMCA and did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. I've found that exercise helps so much. I hate doing it. I hate even thinking about exercise. I hate absolutely everything leading up to exercise, and I hate about the first 10 or 15 minutes of exercising. However, the feeling after I've completed a workout is FANTASTIC! And I know that in a week or so, after walking, swimming and just plain moving each day, I will feel sooo much better. You need support to get through this. If you find a good on-line group, let me know! Or email me, and we'll try to lift each other up. I've got 60 pounds to lose. (Who am I kidding... it's more like 75), so I have a long road to walk, too, and I've got to pick up the pace, because I'm not getting any younger, and the health problems are starting to pile on with the pounds.

""Love Must Be Tough" -- written by (sm) [2007-07-31]
Dr. James Dobson -- excellent for couples with significant marriage problems -- please read. Sounds like your husband is seriously involved with someone else. And, if so, you could never be organized enough or tall/thin enough. His insulting remarks are possibly his outlet to relieve himself of guilt. Don't give up -- be tough!! Just another opinion!! May God bless you in your decision-making.

Tough one. [2007-07-13]
My thoughts are when the children are small, they won When they are teens, it doesn Bill Gateslive in a normal house like all their friends, and why do they have to have such a large carbon footprint? We lived in a single family home with lots of acreage. Some of the kids It made no difference whatsoever to them about the living circumstances of their friends and their friends Our house at that time was *very* niceand we had 4 or 5 horses at all timesfor riding, butwere our kids impressed by that? No, they complained because we were hicks because we had chickens in our yard and their city friends did not. I think the bottom line is wherever you are the happiest is where they will be the happiest.

It's a tough world out there. Siblings will be there when parents are gone. [2007-04-25]
I only have one and I wish I could give him siblings.

Boy, that's a tough one [2007-03-26]
One of the defining moments of my life was when I saw my son's tiny heart fluttering on an ultrasound screen. Up to then, although I had known I was pregnant (I was 8 weeks), the reality of it hadn't hit me, not in the way that it did when I saw that tiny beating heart. I am definitely not pro-choice but I am not radically pro-life either. What I do oppose is additional governmental inference in our lives. So, as I said, this is a tough one....my heart says yes but my head says no.

Yeah, tough call, as I said above - [2007-03-26]
There are many many reasons why someone might choose abortion, not just as birth control. I should clarify that when I said I disagree with abortion, what I mean is that I wouldn't personally choose it for myself but I would NOT tell someone else that they shouldn't. Many years ago, I walked through a picket line with a friend who found herself pregnant and her husband still left her for another woman. Not just left her, he left the COUNTRY after 12 years of marriage. He did NOT want any more kids (they had 3.) Tough call for her and I know she struggled with it enough without me telling her she shouldn't.

that's certainly a tough one. but there are some rxs when all else fails. [2007-03-08]
.

That's a tough one. [2007-02-27]
Wow! Talk about going overboard. I thought my parents and MIL were bad - your MIL is really obsessed with those VERY expensive baskets. Has your hubby tried talking to her? How about giving them away as gifts to teachers or someone you think might be able to use them w/o your MIL knowing of course. I really do feel for you because though your MIL means well and sounds like a beautiful person just the same it's just too much and such a waste of money. Lots of luck to you.

I think you are right. [2008-11-20]
I have had most of the day to think things over and cry. I did talk to him a bit and realize that it is mostly his pride (man-ness) that is the problem. I just have to stand my ground and not feel guilty for it, although I will anyway...I think that is just the female (or pregnant hormonal lol) way with feelings, etc. I have also been thinking today that even though things are getting really tough, we have been able to pay our bills so far. It's really going to suck with the holidays especially but it will be past in a couple months and life will resume as normal. Who knows where we will be by then but for now things could be much worse. Even with all the headaches, stress, tears, etc. it could be much worse if we lost a job or...well I don't even want to think about the other horrible things that people go through. Thanks for your support and understanding. Some times women just need to know that they aren't alone in their struggles.

haven't been there [2008-11-20]
but just wanted to wish you well. It sounds like you are making the right decision. My husband's father is an alcoholic and from what I have heard (we have talked about it a lot) it is not pleasant for kids. You are making the right decision for them. My MIL did not do the same for her kids but my husband still wishes she had. His father is still an alcoholic and now we face the difficult decision with his influence on our children. We make the tough decisions that we feel are best for our kids. It's our job as parents and we know it is the right thing to do, despite what others within the family may say, namely the alcoholic FIL and MIL who still stands by his side and takes the abuse. Good luck. It will all work out in time.

Hope venting made you feel better... [2008-11-16]
The thing that struck me the most in your post is that you help a friend by listening to dictation. Is this during *your* work hours? If so, try not to answer the phone. I know, it sounds so simple, but if you have kids, this can betough. Anyhow, if the friend asks why you are not answering, tell her you need to focus on getting lines so you can pay your monthly bills (stress this!). Maybe she will get the hint. I had to do this when a coworker called me constantly. I As for the friends working when they were asked not to, well, unfortunately, it is a supervisors/managerHopefullys/he will take care of this. Good luck.

Don't know about "sweet" but dog is God spelled backward sm [2008-11-16]
I put up with a terrier mix (not a pit - just a mutt) who was hyper and ate everything, my house shingles, kitchen floor, rugs, etc., tried caging her and she bent the wires, scaled a 6 ft. fence or dug holes underneath to get out. We called her Hogan's Heroes. When she literally ate my whole couch one cold Christmas Eve with 20 people coming, I called the SPCA in tears and they said no one would take a dog like her, they would only bring her back and she'd be put to sleep. So I kept her over 16 years and she's buried in a pet cemetery nearby. I now have a 120 lb. Golden who had big paws when he was born and the last one left because he was going to be big, so I took him. People have dropped off dogs to me crying and I found homes for them. I understand how we can't turn away these beautiful animals others don't have the heart to understand. I would present your husbandbill for food, etc., but don I believe in good deeds being rewarded. It takes time but good only leads to good things coming back at you. I doesn't seem that way right now and times are tough, but hopefully you will be rewarded in other ways.

Blondie, have read your posts before sm.. [2008-11-15]
You sound like a very good person, very caring. I was in the same situation once with a neighbor's dog. He would go to Canada hunting and just leave his dog tied to a dog house in mid-winter in New England and I would take her into my home, feed her, keep her warm and all. This neighbor today I can say with full confidence was borderline-retarded without a doubt. I am so glad I did this. I even at one time went to the dog pound and claimed this dog who had gotten loose and said it was my own. I could not let this poor dog suffer because of its owner. All I can say is do what is in your heart, it may cost you a few dollars more but think of it is abandoned children and you are there for them. Take a good look at this guy and truly ask yourself is he is capable of the love and caring you have in your heart. I know times are tough, but perhaps you are the one who is meant to save these poor animals. Sounds like this guy is either not the sharpest tool in the shed or something else wrong with him. Does he have enough money for beer or etc., and not his dogs? Then he doesn't deserve them! Think hard about the dogs and what would happen to them if it were not for you. You are a very nice person. I hope you find an answer. As for your husband, only you can answer that question. I think he should at least stick up for you and address his dumb friend as to what his responsibility is in the situation. Good luck, Blondie, you are a sweetheart to put up with all this, and I am sure the dogs are in a better place with you. Do you have an SPCA or someone who could help with the food? Perhaps online you can find a way to make your own food suitable for dogs at a reasonable price. May God be with you. Perhaps you are meant to care for dogs in some way that would be beneficial to you in other ways. God bless you for caring.

What I 'used' to do [2008-11-14]
They had a store in my area where you could buy canned goods without labels by the case. That was nice. The store is no longer there. If there is astore that have off-brand names, buy there. For example,I bought 16 ounces of extra virgin olive oil from Italy for $4.99. There is also a store in my area that have name brands but they are close to expiration. I haven't been there yet, but you can buy Hamburger Helper at 4 for $5 every day. Buy store brands instead of national brands. When there is sale, buy more than one and use coupons whenever possible. Two other stores have sales where you can buy items 10 for $10. Examples of the items are Betty Crocker Specialty Potatoes, canned tomatoes, tuna, pasta, Pregoor Hunts spaghetti sauce, ketchup, etc.I stock up then. Canned and dehydrated items are good items to stock up on, as are canned meats (good for casseroles). Butter and cheese is a bit tough to store. They say you can freeze butter without much of a problem, and I tested cheese, but it crumbles when it thaws. If you have a farmer's market in your area, buy tomatoes and freeze them. They're good for casseroles and soups. Peppers and onions freeze okay for the same reason. I don't like frozen green beans, but they freeze well, as does corn. Root veggies keep well in a cool, dry place for a few months. A book I have said you can keep them for a few months if you put them in a box andcover withsawdust (I haven' t tried this). They supposedly also keep well in the ground itself if you cover with large bales of hay. If you live in a city, that could be a problem.

You said you "love him too much" to tell him sm [2008-11-13]
how you feel. If you love him that much, you should tell him how you feel before it is too late and he is gone! Maybe you telling him how you feel will help him to get his life back on track. I don't blame you for not wanting to visit. I wouldn't either but for your love for him, he deserves you to tell him. If it were your child in this situation, would you not tell them because you loved them too much? Remember that phrase, tough love?

Hang in there and talk to others. [2008-11-13]
Donalcoholic, IGee, Dad I wish you wouldn Confronting sometimes depresses them into drinking. I was fortunate, my dad went to some retreats and quit cold turkey and my kids never knew it, in fact, they hate me to ever mention it, as they idolize him. So he died in my arms at 81, told him he was a good man and I am not sorry. My bros. hated him and I feel sorry for them. I feel peace. He has to think about it but dongot it, I think itGee, gotta go, Dad, gotta get these kiddos home. Perhaps he'll get the message, I hope so! Only he can save himself, not you.

backup plan [2008-11-13]
I I have a FT hourly QA job, PT hourly QA job, transcribe pt and also am gathering some transcription from a local teaching university. At this point I don I feel very lucky that I can work as much as possible from home-I I have a lot of debt, not behind but want to get out from under it. 2 kids in college....so far not too expensive as they are both at a JC. Christmas will be all cash and much skimpier this year. If I didn I am just crossing my fingers and toes that my husband doesn Times are tough tough tough. But they could be worse.

Perhaps did not explain sm [2008-11-11]
We have youth programs where a member of the department will come and talk tokids about the dangers of the internet. You know they never listen to parents, and you donbeing directed there.Perhaps some don't know the horrible crimes that come out of youths being lured by porn and the sooner it's dealt with, the better. I don't mean to have the police come in uniform with sirens and lights blaring. There are simple solutions to this problem and I am all for putting away these slime balls, some of them are judges, ministers, etc., so-called trustworthy people hurting our youths. Perhaps I misspoke but you may have read more into it. It's a common problem we all share and it could end up with a dead or kidnapped kid. I'd rather get tough early and save a life. Overreacted, maybe! I would never roll on the floor laughing about it but then again, we're all different.

nursing home decision [2008-11-09]
I am living this as we speak. My father died in March of 2007. My mother became bedridden in June 2007. I had hospice come in to assist, Home Health and Hospice to be exact, and they are wonderful. They actually have their own private nursing home-type facility in the next town over. With hospice, on an occasional basis and when a bed is available, they offer the caregiver a 5-day respite at their facility. After momma went for the first time she was offered a bed there and I immediately accepted. The facility is very small and only for the 3HC clientele, with only 12 private rooms divided into 2 sides - one side with 6 beds for the terminal clients and one side with 6 beds for residential clients. Momma was able to stay on the residential side for 7 months; however, her condition was stable and Medicare would no longer pay the fee. Momma came home after that and I have again been her primary caregiver since January of this year. She is contractured, bedridden, and rarely speaks or opens her eyes. I do have a sitter that works during the daytime hours M-F so that I can actually work, run errands when I need to, and get the kids to and from school because otherwise I cannot leave the house at all because momma cannot be left alone. I feel blessed to have found this line of work not quite 6 years ago. I have a 4-1/2 year old and a 6 year old and momma to care for so working from home has been a lifesaver. I, too, made the promise to momma that I would not put her in a nursing home and I will stand by that. Itcare most of the public places provide. It's a tough decision to make - even tougher if there aren't funds available like there are in our case (thanks to my great daddy) to pay for the sitter to come in and assist. But when the sitter isn't here, the kids and I must be. For the most part they understand, but sometimes they really just want to go somewhere or to the park or to McDonalds and we just can't do it. It's a huge personal sacrifice for your entire family to make to keep a parent at home. The decision isn't always just personal, though. It can be financial, too. You will make the right decision for whatever your situation is. Whatever you decide to do, just know that your parent respects you enough to make that decision for them and that they love you. Best of luck to you honey... hugzzzzz

nursing home - hardest decision ever sm [2008-11-09]
I had also made those promises to my folks, Dad was kept home on hospice 14 months, he had suffered brain damage from not being found for hours and was awful to all of us but we managed with a hospital bed, hospice and nurses, however, my whole family fell apart, fighting, etc., until he fell so many times and was so sick, we called 911 one night for help and hospice literally threw us out of the program. You are supposed to call them (in my state anyway) and they will sit with you while you watch them take their last breaths. Could not go through with that. Then we had no choice but nursing home, they took every cent they could get their hands on without touching my momshow up to check on them. Sometimes theyassisted living scenario, and after they clean out the bank book, they put them in a nursing home anyway, so thatsandwich generation between what to do with the parent and if you have kids, what is best for them. Itshow up and if you don it's tough to walk that walk. Take care, hopefully you will make the right decision. In some states you can have her in a nursing home and if she qualifies, you can also have hospice go in there for special care such as you desire for her comfort. Good luck, know we are all thinking of you.

You know, we all have needs in life, and [2008-11-01]
recognition is one of them. Good for you for doing something beneficial for animals, and it doesn't hurt the animals that you'd like others to know you have done something nice in life. I know the Bible says that kindnesses done in secret will be rewarded in heaven, but life is tough and to get through it, I don't see why we can't have a little pleasure or satisfaction out of life now and then to help make the druggery of life worth putting up with. If you want rewards in heaven, you can do something else anonymously, I suppose.

Think it through sm [2008-10-24]
This profession can be very depressing, you can feel so isolated, sit too long which makes you gain weight, have health problems, etc. It is demanding, overhelming, andnot to mention these days, very demeaning and a lot more negative stuff. We are greatly misunderstood. No one knows but us what we put up with. You have to get yourself feeling better about you before you make any decisions. This economy has everyone down because it looks so bleak. In divorce everyone loses, you, the husband, the kids. Self-esteem is very important. I donschools in your area which teach massage, hair dressing,dental hygiene, etc., these people will see you as a client at almost no cost to you. You could get a massage, a new haircut, or have your teeth cleaned for zilch.I found when I got down, I would get myself a manicure at Wal-Mart for $12.00 and if I couldnSupercuts for a quick cut and go home and set my hair myself. (Regis Salons - Google them) owns many of these places, the fancy ones in the mall, along with the walk-in el-cheapo franchises). Do all you can to uplift yourself which is hard with the hours and demands you have to put up with donWhen you have had a personal and spiritual (just say a prayer is all) makeover, your self-esteem will start to return and then you can probably have a talk with the hub about how lonely and rejected you feel and how you feel you are being ignored and lonely. Dondepressed because my husband throws a fit when I use that word. Many times I felt like you as my husband worked over 12 hour days, ate, went to bed, etc., and everything was left to me to handle. I almost felt as if he were avoiding being home. However, we have stuck together, my kids did well (I think because they were not from a broken home) and to tell the truth, Iflame you and if it doesnComes the Dawn and I try to live by it, Google it and print it out. My very, very best to you. Perhaps the prayer board can help. I do not claim to be religious, but I do believe in miracles!!.You are worth it, feel better about yourself, we love you and if no one else has told you that today, we will!! We are the brain behind the machine, not the machine.

Think it through sm [2008-10-24]
This profession can be very depressing, you can feel so isolated, sit too long which makes you gain weight, have health problems, etc. It is demanding, overhelming, andnot to mention these days, very demeaning and a lot more negative stuff. We are greatly misunderstood. No one knows but us what we put up with. You have to get yourself feeling better about you before you make any decisions. This economy has everyone down because it looks so bleak. In divorce everyone loses, you, the husband, the kids. Self-esteem is very important. I donschools in your area which teach massage, hair dressing,dental hygiene, etc., these people will see you as a client at almost no cost to you. You could get a massage, a new haircut, or have your teeth cleaned for zilch.I found when I got down, I would get myself a manicure at Wal-Mart for $12.00 and if I couldnSupercuts for a quick cut and go home and set my hair myself. (Regis Salons - Google them) owns many of these places, the fancy ones in the mall, along with the walk-in el-cheapo franchises). Do all you can to uplift yourself which is hard with the hours and demands you have to put up with donWhen you have had a personal and spiritual (just say a prayer is all) makeover, your self-esteem will start to return and then you can probably have a talk with the hub about how lonely and rejected you feel and how you feel you are being ignored and lonely. Dondepressed because my husband throws a fit when I use that word. Many times I felt like you as my husband worked over 12 hour days, ate, went to bed, etc., and everything was left to me to handle. I almost felt as if he were avoiding being home. However, we have stuck together, my kids did well (I think because they were not from a broken home) and to tell the truth, Iflame you and if it doesnComes the Dawn and I try to live by it, Google it and print it out. My very, very best to you. Perhaps the prayer board can help. I do not claim to be religious, but I do believe in miracles!!.You are worth it, feel better about yourself, we love you and if no one else has told you that today, we will!! We are the brain behind the machine, not the machine.

MTs who have husbands that work midnights sm [2008-10-21]
i mine has been on midnights for four years now. he has a really good job, but can it when i we

mine are not that age yet [2008-10-20]
thought about what i would do should that happen... i did it when i was young and i made some very poor choices during the time i smoked. though that's not happened yet, should it happen, i believe i would try to be with my kids as much as i possibly could. i would take them to school, i would pick them up, if they have a school function, guess what? mom's going too. you know, when i was younger and did that, my parents DID have a clue... they may have wanted to act all naive but they KNEW.. and as ticked off at them as i would have been had they ever confronted me about it, i look back and truly wish they had and maybe shown some tough love. i think your son's father may be going overboard with wanting to kick him out. the most important thing is, regardless of how you decide to deal with this, is to let him know how much you love him. bottom line is, if you didn't love him, you wouldn't care what he does.

I need advice. I think my16y son is smoking weed... [2008-10-17]
He downloaded some pictures on MY computer for his MySpace page. Anyway, there isa picture of a bag of weed(I was young once, I know what it looks like so he cant try to convince me it was oregano) and a picture of his friend holding the bag of weed.By the way, the bag was on my table so hecaneither. I really don A long time ago I found a pipe in his room. I honestly thought it was over with after that. (guess I can be niave). Between his dad, my husband and I we dealt with it in a mature and appropriate way.But I always stayed cautious after that so I was always watching. I hadn Haven Anyways, my problem is what to do now. I really do not want to tell his dad because hewill be soooo angry. See, dad was really p**sed the first time and told my son that if he ever finds out he I know that sounds harsh, but I know his dad, he will kick him out but only for a little while just to make him think.Tough Love, he calls it. I think he may have even threatened him with a beatin (That is just a scare tactic. He I thought that by me telling his dad the first time he'd know that I was serious and that he wouldn't be able to get away with it with me. See, my problem is that my son idolizes his dad. He I can almost feel his pain already.I feel like heI He knows it too. I hate it and I I know some of you are thinking well he should But remember when we were 16. We didnThat So I have understanding, I just can't let that interfere with tolerance. So what do I do? I haven I know one thing I have to do is forbid him from hanging out with this friend anymore. Which is another issue....Do I tell this boy A part of me wants doesnHeIt Oh, and I haven Heanything my son likes.He wouldnHe tends to overdo the punishments. Then there What if he sneaks out? What if he tries to be....what's the word???...um, like just rebel and walk out anyway or worse, what if he runs away? I know what a lot of you are probably thinking right now. I KNOW I I KNOW III hate it. I I really cannot help it. However, this is a very serious issue to me and I want to find the right thing to do. I doneither (but he doesnYet I don He has to learn. This is not acceptable. Not even to me. If I let it go who knows what the future will hold for him. So any reasonable suggestions out there that a doormat like myself can put to use? I really appreciate any help. I

Boy do you have your work cut out for you...sm [2008-10-17]
If he downloaded pics of this for his myspace page, that is not good. If he is interested enough to put it on his myspace, then I think he is interested enough to be doing it. He obviously thinks it is cool. After all he is a teenager. You have to confront him. I mean it is not appropriate for a teenager to have these sorts of pics period. I don't know about not seeing the signs. Maybe he smokes it somewhere else and doesn't come around you when he is high. You need to show the pics to his dad. He has a right to know. And he needs some tough love anyways. And yes, I remember being 16 and if my parents hadn't been tough there is no telling where I would be today. Confront him, and tell him no hanging around his friend. I would personally call the friends parents too. They need to know. Tell your husband and let him get the punishment he deserves. He was warned the last time he got caught with the pipe. If he rebells deal with it when it happens. He definitely needs punishment and to know this will not be tolerated.

Talking with a nonChristian about Jesus [2008-10-17]
I have been reading this and I just wanted to offer a few thoughts: 1) No, you cannot go up to someone and say YOU ARE A SINNER! REPENT and expect a positive reaction. I think that God will give you opportunities to talk to people. When those opportunities arise, you ask for their permission to speak with them about it. If they say no, you drop it. I believe that God will open the hearts of those who are ready to hear it. If they do give you permission, you donYOU are a sinner because I saw YOU lying to so and so, I heard that YOU were sleeping with so and so and you At the moment of witnessing to someone, you better believe Satan is standing right there waiting for you to slip up so he can turn it against you. I think a better thing would be to say Well God tells us in the Bible that WE are ALL sinners no matter what we do. That is why we need Jesus. 2) Back you're claims up with Bible verses. That way no one thinks you are saying this in you're own words. Some good Scripture for witnessing: Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God Romans 6:23 - For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. John 3:3 - Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily I say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. These are just some to get you started. If the person you are talking to has opened their heart to hearing you, I doubt they won't want to hear the verses. 3) If you get a positive reaction, don't leave them to figure out the rest by themselves. Support them, invite them to church, introduced them to other loving Christians. Look, our nation is at war, but we are in a much bigger war. Satan is wreaking havoc in our nation and for to long we have sat by and let him. But just because the situation is dire does not mean we can just stand on our soap boxes and start proclaiming out loud that everyone is a sinner and they must all repent now. It requires personal connections with people. All throughout the Bible you read about Jesus having a personal connection. He spoke to people one on one. He allowed them to discuss the issue with Him, to question Him. One of his disciples even doubted Him! I know many of us, myself included, probably questioned all the way up to the aisle before we gave our lives over to Him. It is our nature to do so. As much as we all pray for a revival in this nation and in our churches, I doubt it will happen. Any of you who have studied and believe in the Bible know the time is drawing near. It is also said that every nation will turn against us before He comes. It's time to come together and be ready to support one another, because times are going to get tough. If you are sitting on the fence, you better choose a side, because Satan owns that fence. Call me crazy, call me fanatical. But I KNOW that my Lord is the living Christ, and I know that he will come back, and I am much more concerned about what He thinks about me then what YOU think about me! :) True Christians love everyone. We just hate sin. I hate that I sin everyday. But I thank God that I can ask for forgiveness and He gives it. All this mess about oh you Christians hate gay people, hate abortion supporters, hate blacks, etc is simply not true. I have friends who are gay. I love them just as much as I love my Christian brothers and sisters. I just don't love the sin. Abortion is a sin. And I'm not sure why you say we hate black people unless you're saying it's because we don't vote for Obama, but black is just another color and Jesus doesn't pay attention to color, therefore neither should we, and I believe most of us don't. The ones that do are sinning and will have to ask for forgiveness. If anyone is seriously interested in discussing this or just wants to talk, please email me. If you just want to be hateful and bash, please, just save it.

Not so. I shut my heart to people [2008-10-16]
down my throat, which is I am sure what God would want me to do. I Now, who is the sinner? Ahhh, but I bet no one wants to talk about that. What about the molestation of young boys in the catholic religion? Is that gay too? I don't even attend church anymore because there has been too much of this wishy-washy stuff going on and all they want is your money anyway. I serve and praise and pray to my God as I walk through the Garden of Life and he is with me. He walks with me and talks with me everyday. He gets me through the tough times. Without him, I probably wouldn I'm glad to have accepted him into my heart when I was 13 and then again when I was 16, but I am not going to say that gay people are sinners because they're not.

Learn to say NO [2008-10-15]
I know it's tough when it's your own dad, but hasn't he burnt you enough already? Lock your door and don't answer it. If he catches up to you and asks you to let him hang out or do his laundry, say NO. Enough is enough. Good luck.

My children lost their father when they were 8,4,3 [2008-10-13]
It is a very tough position to be put in as a parent. My advice for the adults is do not drag these children into what should be adult grief. Several members of my kids' father's family tried to do this to them. They are children and are resilient just the way God made them and thankfully for them! They have a right to live happily and without guilt because they are happy. I'm not saying your family will do this, but on top of everything else, it was hard to watch this being done to my children. I am very sorry for their loss and the loss to your family.

Sorry to hear this but (sm) [2008-10-11]
what the heck was he doing out at 5:30 AM with a 9-yo? Did you have a talk with him or just tell him? I think you made the right decision for now. Let him think about it.Maybe you can have a close friend of yours or him to try to talk sense into him. I didn't state in my earlier reply that I, also, am a stepmom. My husband's son lived with his grandmother for the first 3 years and he was terrified of me. Long story there, but his real mother was kicked out when the child was 6 weeks old and his grandmother drilled it into his head about his mother. My husband and I had many a fight over him, but I tried to stick it out until the day my stepson said I wasn This was at a birthday party and that was the last straw. I left my husband that day. My best friend sat down after thatand had a chat with my husband because he never intervened when his son made snide remarks about me, and he finally realized he was on a guilt trip for his ex3 years, but now his son calls me mom and he treats me better than my own son! I wish you the best of luck. It is a tough road to haul, but if your guy cares anything at all about you, he will try to figure out the problem.

I feel for you - [2008-10-10]
I went with someone for 7 years who had a daughter and their relationship ruined ours. I thought things would get better but they got worse as the child got older. I was also pushed aside and treated so badly by this kid. One time I cooked dinner at my place and just had new rugs installed. The darling deliberately spilled her milk on the rugs and dropped her plate of spaghetti - all the while smirking. Her father did not say one thing except that it was an accident. Believe me, it was no accident. The 3 of us would go on vacation for a week at the shore each year and they would go bike riding early, never letting me know ahead of time so I just sat and waited for them to return. I was basically there to be their maid. I sat down with him and voiced my concerns and I was told that no one would come between the two of them. He gave me his answer that I would never be involved in their lives. I left that relationship after that. I could go on and on. It is tough, it wears you down, and strips you of everything. I wish you much luck but in these situations I think it is best to get out of the relaionship as there is nothing but heartbreak and you will always be an outsider.