It doesn't matter "where you stand." What works for you is fine. What works for me is fine.

He is saying he doesn't want it. That's the problem. [2008-12-04]
NM

just because your risk diminishes doesn't mean you aren't still at risk! [2008-12-04]
why does it seem worthless to quit? what if you have a CHANCE of living longer?? you may be diagnosed with cancer still, but it may be sooner than later. Your argument makes no sense, to say that no one is affected by your second hand smoke do you ONLY SMOKE ALONE IN YOUR HOME and nobody visits you ever? if you EVER smoke in public, someone is affected. i can't believe I'm counseling someone who has smoked for longer than i have been alive. i mean that's just my opinion, you are going to do what you want, it's not my business, but if you enjoy smoking and dont care if you die sooner than later, continue on.

Latex foam works best for me... [2008-12-04]
Expensive, but worth every penny and contrary what the sales people may tell you, they outlast the standard innerspring mattresses.

can't stand the..... [2008-12-04]
GEICO caveman commercials... I just don't get it... ...especially the one where the caveman and his chick are on the beach with the metal detector and he finds keys with a GEICO key fob and tosses down his equipment, then the girlfriend picks it all up for him... yeah.. in his DREAMS!! LOL

You're going to die no matter what you do. sm [2008-12-03]
It's your quality of life that you fight for. Nobody here is going to give you a reason to continue smoking. What does your friend with the lung CA say about it?

whatever the tradition, tolerance works [2008-12-03]
x

I absolutely can not stand when someone..sm [2008-12-02]
here just throws out there get a divorce. Divroce is not always the answer and not always that easy. I have a very good marriage and our DS is graduating this year. If DH wanted to attend something else instead I would let him, but I guarantee the locks would be changed when he returned. I am sorry that this is a problem for you, I get along quite well with my family as well as my in-laws so I donmy son so I guess he is not the biological son of your husbands. Always put your children first. If other family members don't make it to the graduation, so be it. I understand the hurt, but once again just be there for your child and to He!! with the others.

You know sometimes my husband doesn't want to go to my family things either... [2008-11-26]
and I have learned that if he doesn't want to go, don't be mad, just go without him...It is better to go alone then have to sit there with him while he is moping about being there. I understand your frustration and maybe your husband knows something will set him off and start a fight and he doesn't want to do that to you. Maybe he is really thinking of your feelings.

As a matter of fact [2008-11-25]
I will be spending Thanksgiving with my daughter (age 39) and some of her friends and we plan to break out the old Trivial Pursuit! Can't wait - it sure beats watching sports on T.V.

LOL. It doesn't plug in. It runs on batteries. [2008-11-25]
It has some kind of sensor in it and it can only be used with certain books.

Actually, the tail is the ONLY part of a turkey I will eat. Can't stand the rest nm [2008-11-23]
nm

Awesome!! Normally it doesn't drop below 100 [2008-11-21]
until February right? LOL... Enjoy!!!

It works! [2008-11-20]
When mine were smaller they had more fun unwrapping and playing with the boxes. They are all between 12 and 17 now. I told them to count their blessings if they get Christmas dinner this year let alone presents. This year kinda stinks, but I am sure they will get a few things they each want. I always figure it out.

It doesn't sound dumb... [2008-11-16]
...at all. I miss my Noni girl every single day. She was the light of my life, my soulmate who happened to be a different species. I have gotten 2 new dogs, but my heart will never feel the same.

God doesn't judge animals. [2008-11-09]
I don Animals don They are merely animals and they act on instinct. If an animal possesses an instinct to kill a human when there is no threat, then that animal should be put down. The life ofa human is infinitelymore valuablethan the life of an animal. Somehow it doesn

I have done that for both of my children and it works wonders... [2008-11-07]
nm

mine doesn't have any. NM [2008-11-06]
.

It should be fine as long as it is cooked. [2008-11-05]
xx

Why, no matter how carefully [2008-11-03]
I plan my list, do I always forget one very important item at the grocery store?

Don't feel like the Lone Ranger. LOL. I get that from Bath and Body Works. sm [2008-11-03]
Seems like the minute I run out of a fave scent and go to get more, it has been discontinued. I think it is a conspiracy by Bath and Body works. LOL.

His opinions should not matter to you really (sm) [2008-10-29]
Everyone has opinions - what do you care what his are? Move past it - you cannot change him or his opinions - don't let his words get to you - then he wins. Move on. And don't answer the phone anymore when he calls!

Find a lawyer, find out where you would stand - sm [2008-10-26]
in the event of a divorce/separation, regarding custody, house, etc. Custody was my main concern as well since I lied on numerous occasions about the finances. Where I am I was told that would not factor in to the custody at all. I can prove that I am my kids caregiver 90% of the time, I ferry they around everywhere, help with homework, get ready for school, meet at busstop, etc. I could also point out my husband is an alcoholic, self treats his depression with alcohol instead of getting proper medical treatment, has threatend to kill himself (or me) numerous times (though he always says he was joking and did not mean it.....that is his standard answer to everything, or that he never said that). Now I do love him enough to deal with all that because deep down inside my DH is full of it, luckily for me, he has never followed through on anything he says he is going to do. But I thought my confession would be the straw that broke it all and send him over the edge. He still is angry with me, I am sure he will be for a long time, but is keeping it together pretty well, though he has said the stress was going to kill him, now he know how I felt I guess. I am sorry your husband is such a smuck. I feel like a dog sometimes with the sex demands, have to do it the night before he goes out of town....he will be traveling a lot for work for the next 3-4 months, which I am more than glad about, much calmer here then, though it gets tiring for me but as he is not really helping much right now it really won't be much of a change. As for yours going on 5 day weekends.....have you considered having him followed, sounds like there may be some infidelity afoot, and if so that would strengthen your case in the event of a divorce and custody I would think. Sounds a bit fishy going out until 1 a.m. and his frequent trips. My DH fishes too, but he goes 2 miles from here with one of our male neighbors, they shoot the breeze and he gets to unwind some which I encourage. Very rare weekends with a buddy of his, I am talking once every 2 years, which again is fine with me. Start keeping track of all you do, when he is home, where he supposedly goes, with whom, etc. He cannot show he will be a responsible dad if he is never there or never interacts with his own kids. My DH would probably suggest I take our older daughter and he the younger, spliting them up, he has the same perception, the oldest is mine, the youngest is his. Our younger daughter is much easier to deal with, our older daughter drives him nuts and she is only 10. My younger one (8) knows something has been going one though, and worries we will divorce, which she does not want. She is very perceptive for her years. I hope that if you do go the divorce route, which would actually probably be best in your situation, that it all works out for you and you get your fair share of assets, etc. Make sure before you do anything like that you have all your ducks in a row, so talk to divorce lawyer. I talked to one for 45 minutes, cost me $160 but was worth it to set my mind at ease. Good luck.

Have a Dr. who says "where we are at" [2008-10-25]
nm

Yes, please let me know how it works out(sm) [2008-10-23]
The bedroom is still quite cold at night depending on the temperature outsidewhen you close the door. Hubby never cared because as a child, his room didnused to it, but now that he's older, he's getting to be a little bit too much to handle. He tried a gas wall heater but it used to much fuel. We tried an Eden Pure, but it died before the winter was over. He only needs the room around 60 so he cut a hole in the wall above the door and put a fan in to draw the heat into his room but the fan is so noisy, it's hard to get a good night's sleep.

My brother has done the same as you and she doesn't get it at all (sm) [2008-10-21]
He has not been to see her in 5 years and has a one-year-old baby she has never even seen, plus older children she has not seen in 5 years. To this day she thinks it is because his wife has turned him against her. She still doesn't understand that she did anything wrong.

That's not true. I've tried to quit 6 times [2008-12-04]
in the past 5 years. I made it for 3 weeks by being cooped up in my house while everyone else was having fun in the garage. But DH had an important phone call he had to take, so I braved it and went up to tell him. Just the whiff of smoke did it for me. Back on them. I tried cold turkey, the patch, herbal supplements, and even hypnotism. Ichew gum. Itired of hearing from me. I don't have a PMD, so I can't get an Rx. My DH quit 16 years ago by throwing his pack out the car window as we were driving. He is so kind to me because I haven't been able to quit. He never harps on quitting. He understands. He's seen me go through withdrawal and it's not pretty. My son and his wife quit when she became pregnant. He used Chantix and also had the wildest dreams so went off them after 3 weeks, but he hasntouched up a cigarette since and being around people who smoke doesn't bother him. I guess I I whish the best for everyone who wants to quit and hope you all make it. I've stopped trying.

I agree [2008-12-04]
Unless I get their name in the name draw, I only buy for their kids a little something. My stepdaughter works in a Hallmark store and has never sent one card for any reason to this house to anyone. There is a Buddist saying that a kind gesture not repaid weighs like an ocean upon the recipient, so why make them feel guilty?

i didnt mean to come off harsh [2008-12-04]
i just dont understand and that is simply because i have never been a smoker I dont think anyone should ever start because it is addictive and I am aware of that, but there are also other ways to quit. i just was saying it doesn't sound like you really care.... which is completely your choice.

lol sounds like my MIL [2008-12-04]
My MIL was pissy this year too. Apparently because I got off of work (due to no jobs) and we arrived an hour early to spend extra time with them. She was mad at me. I thought it was a good thing!? We have always gotten along as well but I have come to realize I just tolerate her and move on. Itstuck in the kitchen and feels left out. Of course she says this to her children. I always offer and more than once but I have come to realize if I just step in and do it won't be right regardless. She doesn't talk to any of her own kids that way even though I know for a fact my husband does things very different from the way she does. Somehow she doesn't notice with him but alarms go off when it's me. She also hates to allow me to make anything to bring for dinner. I am martha-stewart-ish and she is the pull a pie out of the box type of person so I think it intimidates her or something. It's just the way I am and I enjoy doing things from scratch and old fashioned, plus I like to know what I am feeding my kids. I usually ask but just bring stuff along because I know it is the right thing to do and forget about the rest. She talks nice to the other DIL in her presence but the moment she turns her back she bad-mouths her. A few people recently have told me she does the same to me (Imom any more. I feel for her but dang, I will be glad to relinquish the dinner reins to my DIL or SIL so I can just sit around and play with grandkids some day!

DH and I are w/my family for lunch [2008-12-04]
and his for dinner. I have ex-aunt that still gets invited to holiday get togethers since she was married to my uncle for so long and her kids and now a grandaughter will be with us. She and a real pain in the but. Even when it is not her house she tries to dominate everything. Where everyone should sit, when we should eat, the conversation somehow always revolves around her. She will ask you a question and even before you finsih answering she is off talking about something else. We basically just roll our eyes and try to avoid her. This year she wrote a letter to my mom asking her to move her Christmas Eve plans to a different time (have been doing the same thing for years) to make it easier on her. Not going to happen. At DH I like her most of the time, but lately I have found that I just tend to tolerate her. She and I have never had any problems but I think her getting older is starting to take its toll. She and I differ anyway. Every Thanksgiving it is the same, everyone that comes brings a couple of dishes but she also does some of the cooking. She doesn This year as soon as we got there she took a hot pot off the stove and put the food into a serving dish. I decided to go ahead and wash it. The pot was extremely hot so I turned on the cold water to cool it off just a bit before I washed it. She came to the sink and turned the hot water on. I politely said I was just trying to cool if off a bit before I stuck my hands in it. No, that is not the way I do it. I was stunned. I have been married to her son for over 20 years and I always wash the dishes. I don But this year I said, well if you want me to leave these for you to do, fine. I did help clean up after dinner but I did not put my hands in any dishwater. Besides they were still a bit pruned fromcleaning upafter lunch. LOL! Btw, this is thesame woman who gives me something that she collects every year for Christmas even though I andher daughter have very politelylet herknow this is not something I want.

I guess we are one of those boring families, too...sm [2008-12-04]
We don't fight during the holidays, but then we really don't talk much either. My mom has Alzheimer and my brother just doesn't say much. I try to carry on a conversation, but it is hard to when you are met with silence.

You're not a hopeless case! sm [2008-12-04]
Each day is a new beginning. Donvictor not you can get some help there. You are the victim. You are worth the effort. Some pills do cause nightmares, try Benadryl at night. I thus the need to relax, I understand, please don't give up. If you don't have a PCP, try a walk-in clinic or the pharmacist, you never know, they may have some good advice. Think of the $$$ you will save, use it to pamper yourself and your self-image will improve. You can do it, baby steps at a time. Remember, every day is a new start.

You may want to see a doctor if you [2008-12-03]
haven't already. I had tinea versicolor many years ago. My experience was that I noticed the pigment of my skin was changing - having the usual color with sort of white spots all over. The doctor told me it is a fungal infection. I never had problems with irritation, burning or itching, just the loss of pigment. He gave me a body wash that I had to use 3 X a week. You apply it to the body and then wait for 20 minutes and then take a shower. It took close to a year to get rid of it. Although I am not a doctor, it doesn't sound like tinea versicolor but more like an allergic reaction to the wire of the bra. I would see a doctor to find out exactly what it is.

quitting smoking [2008-12-03]
You are correct to be afraid. Quitting smoking is excruciatingly painful. You have to re-train your brain to do every single daily activity without smoking. And the cravings never go away. Skullcap, Gingseng, and Valerian are extremely useful, so you don't have to suffer if you don't want to. The sore throat alone from the first week of quitting will scare you to death. You will need to eat and exercise to get the energy you get from cigarettes, and it will take awhile to learn how to take better care of yourself. Why is it worth it? You aren't a slave anymore, you can go anywhere, colors you see are more intense, all foods taste different, smells are different and more intense, (and sex is more intense also). You can quit anything if you can stand the pain. Don't be a wimp, you are worth it.

The Reason for the Season [2008-12-03]
T Holiday .Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and creditPushing folks down to the floor just to get it!CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-podSomething was changing, something quite odd!Retailers promoted Ramadan and KwanzaaIn hopes to sell books by Franken Fonda.As Targets were hanging their trees upside downAt Lowe it wonWinter Break under your Dream TreeSipping your Starbucks, listen to me.Choose your words carefully, choose what you sayShout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!

me, too. Chantix is giving me the wildest dreams [2008-12-03]
i have quit so many times it i get the nicotine gum -- 170 pieces 30 bucks. works pretty good, but then i loose it --again. never quit quittin'

Am I the Wicked Step-Mother? [2008-12-02]
I know I don't post here much but I do read and feel you are all friends. I offer prayers for those that request them and feel for those with troubles. I would like to know what you think about my latest dilemma. I came home from town today to find a phone call from my step-daughter, age 43. She has my cell phone number but for some reason she wonno this time and now I feel terrible. She started out by saying she had a medical bill to pay and then turned it around to a DUI fine that has to be paid by Jan. 1. She got picked up in August for a tail light out and had been drinking with co-workers. Her story. I was advised by the court not to help her so that was part of the reason I said no. She works two part-time waitressing jobs. She's divorced and no kids. She said she would pay me back $100 a month. If that is true why couldn't she have saved $100 a month and had the money to pay the fine? She called me a few weeks ago and I know she wanted money then but she didn't come right out and ask until today. Thanks for listening, I appreciate it.

About once a week sm [2008-12-02]
She is a small poodle, less than 2 years old. She runs outside every chance she gets and gets under the deck. She also sleeps on my bed every night and I will not sleep with something that smells bad. If I enjoyed that sort of thing, I would still be married. She has very fine, wavy poodle hair. She is oily and if she doesn't have a bath at least every 10 days, she freezes in the winter, even in her cute little sweaters. I give her a bath, let her dry in front of the faux fireplace, and brush her a bit. Next day, she is perfectly warm in her little sweaters and warmer at night too. If she goes very long, she develops so much eye snot that she can't see well. I do my own grooming and I keep her properly trimmed about every other week. End result is: Gorgeous little apricot poodle who looks adorable and smells like flowers. No dry skin, no flaking, almost never scratches at all unless she has had to go a whole 2 weeks without a bath. This is not too frequently for this dog.

I am in the family room. [2008-12-02]
All I have is a desk and a filing cabinet, but I also use my desk to pay bills. The kids have their own computer on the other side of the room. I have all of my essentials. I cannot stand clutter though; so I I am the same with my computer desktop; I cannot stand a lot of windows open at once, so I only have open what I need.

I would not give her the money [2008-12-02]
I don't give out money anymore because I am still making the payments on what I have co-signed. It doesn't sound like she has anywhere else to turn to, I would talk to her more about why that is.

kitchen [2008-12-02]
I am in the corner of my kitchen - it works out okay as long as everybody is out of the house.

ugh. [2008-12-02]
That's where I'm thinking of moving. Hubs doesn't want me in the living room and there is no place else to go.

LOL...I did that actually [2008-12-02]
When my desk was in the bedroom, I used to set the alarm for 15 minutes before my shift (really early shift), roll out of bed, turn on PC and get all my stuff ready while I was waiting for it to boot up. Couldn't stand to leave it on all night, the noise kept me awake.

Heartily disagree with some of those... [2008-12-02]
I love the post office. For 42 cents, they will take my card or letter all the way across the US, to Alaska or Hawaii! I think it's the greatest bargain going. (And, no, I don't know anyone who works for the post office.) Secondly, I would NEVER give up my land line on my telephone. Try dealing with a few conversations getting choppy and incomprehensible on a cell. Cell phones have their place, but their quality is pretty poor compared to that line stretched on the poles.

My 1986 Chevy Nova.... [2008-12-02]
Cars you have to actually drive yourself. Keyboards Coal-powered electric plants Anything that runs on gasoline Push mowers--come on, they should be able to make something like the Roomba, only for grass that doesn't cost more than my paycheck. People who think I am a Satan worshipper because I decorate my yard for Halloween.

I would give them what you can afford [2008-12-02]
and if they don't like it, it's their problem. It's the thought that counts. A teenager should enjoy a gift certificate to the movies or to his/her favorite clothing store. As for the adults, my husband and I have been giving our parents gift cards to their local grocery store. Everyone needs to eat. I'm glad we don't run into these problems with our families. Everyone is happy to get something no matter how inexpensive. Try not to stress too much about it.

I think an adult coloring book is a great idea...sm, [2008-12-02]
I think it would be a stress reliever. Coloring is relaxing, it doesn't take concentration, you see your progress, you concentrate but it's more of a meditation trance. You just need the time to do it :-)

salmon patties [2008-12-02]
Ingredients: * 1 can (16 ounces) salmon * 1 small onion, finely grated * 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley * ground black pepper, to taste * 2 large eggs, well beaten * 1 to 1 1/2 cups fine dry bread crumbs * 3 tablespoons butter Preparation: Turn salmon and liquid into a medium mixing bowl. Flake with a fork, removing OR mashing any bones (they are edible). Mix in grated onion, parsley and pepper. Mix beaten eggs with salmon. Add enough bread crumbs, about 1/2 to 3/4 cup, to make thick enough to shape into 12 small patties. Roll patties in 1/2 cup bread crumbs. In a large heavy skillet over low heat, melt 2 tablespoons of butter; add patties. Fry patties slowly on one side; add remaining butter, turn patties and fry until brown on the other side. Serves 6.

My camera is 2 years old and I hate it [2008-12-02]
Digital camera, that is. It is a Canon Power shot and it takes the worst pictures ever. Every human in it has red eyes. I have the red eye reduction on and it does not help. So, can anyone recommend a digital camera they like that doesn't cost hundreds?

Tell her you've gone into the petsitting business [2008-12-01]
(In my area petsitters charge $20 per visit for one animal, $5 extra for each additional animal in the household. That doesn't include extras like walking dogs, giving medications, etc. If she expects you to take a cat to the vet if it gets sick while she's away, she should leave you a signed, blank check made out to the local emergency veterinary medical center. Most won't let you in the door for less than $500, and won't treat the animal 'til that's paid. My guess is your sis would be inclined not to pay you back if it were to come out of your pocket. Might consider having her sign a waiver of liability, too.)