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keeping a secret [2008-11-21]
taking addiction too seriously is a mistake. Keeping it a dirty little secret is a mistake. Hiding Pa in the basement because he is an embarrassment is a mistake. There is NOTHING shameful about being addicted to a substance. I hardly think there is one person on this board who does not know someone on antidepressants or takes them and that is considered healthy? But medicating depression with vodka is shameful?
The best disinfectant is light.
Sounds very much like to do with RAM or HDD [2008-11-21]
These two components are ones that make the computer freeze......the life of RAM and HDD depends on the usage, so 3 years can be quite some time...sorry, if this does not help you! Just another suggestion
sounds like you will have to be the adult in this situation as the ex is not --- [2008-11-17]
and follow the mother she is being the adult in the situation as you are, so don't lose it.
food for thought: she was hurting at the funeral. sometimes people put all their hurts in one pocket and never deal with it, never heal. gram died, the pocket opened and out it all came. you may be only one situation she put away for a rainy day.
I drove Ford pickups most of my life, but - sm [2008-11-17]
I got tired of the fact that the danged things don't steer well. They all have steering-gear problems. Each of my trucks ended up having anywhere from 2-4 new or rebuilt gears put in during my ownership, and they still were next to impossible to drive in a straight line. Getting parts was a pain too, as often you had to know the month the vehicle was built in order to get the right part. Simple do-it-yourself work often had to go to the shop instead, because of the difficulty of accessing the area without taking half of the front end apart. So of course the shop bills were high, too. It became increasingly difficult to get parts after the truck was 5 or 6 years old, and I drove most of mine for 12+ years.
So when it was time for a new car, I wanted a midsize SUM. I did my homework, and chose a 4Runner because of the quality & favorable consumer reports. I couldn't afford a new one, so got a used one that was 5 years old. I'm still driving it, loving it, and it's like they say in the Timex watch commercials: 'It takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!'
Sounds to me like [2008-11-15]
you own those dogs now and if he wants to take them out to maul other animals he needs to pay you a hefty fee.
the part I wonder about: [2008-11-14]
what if that company goes out of business and you have a warranty?
You probably saved someone's life in the future. [2008-11-13]
A couple months ago there was a terrible head-on train crash near Los Angeles, and the cause of it was the engineer of the passenger train blew through a red light because he was texting some teenagers. It's a shame he was killed, because he should have lived to see the carnage he caused.
Yes. Took up a part-time job and having [2008-11-13]
100% of the income put into savings. Paying off my debt.
Not going to live in fear.
Not going to live with anyone else, either.
Maybe you could downsize on house and cars. ?
Sounds like you could easily turn this into a meal [2008-11-11]
by tossing in some chicken breasts. My MIL bakes pork chops in cream of mushroom soup, bet you could use that too for something a little different.
I think that if you want to be an included part of [2008-11-10]
since you already know they text so much, you should be checking your text messages. Did you have it on mute so you wouldn't hear a message coming in?
Look, I hate how so many people seem to have a cell phone as an anatomical physical part of themselves today. But, if you want to be included in with this group, you already know that is how they communicate. You'll need to suck it up and be a little more dedicated to the cell communication.
I would not be upset at them.
Well it sounds to me like everyone thought you already knew (sm) [2008-11-10]
I mean it just sounds like they thought everyone was meeting back up for a movie and wondered where you were.
you'll have a retainer for life to wear while sleeping. sm [2008-11-08]
and please do. a family member had braces in elementary school and they came out beautiful. somewhere after marriage, kids, she stopped wearing the retainer. she is not in her 40's and her teeth shifted back to almost day one.
wear the retainer while sleeping - it's no biggie compared to the waste of time and money and beautiful smiles.
Gabby, I am with you. I went for the first time in my life last summer. sm [2008-11-08]
I had a riot and came home $5 richer, so I was happy. I too was amazed at all the people there and this was on a Sunday afternoon. LOL. But I have to say the noise would drive me NUTS!!! Constant dinging, clanking, etc. I did have fun watching everybody and their various techniques for chunking in coins. I stayed on the cheap slots as there were acres of slot machines. I would go again in a heartbeat as I did have fun. And the food is good too. LOL.
My experience is if you are into people watching, a casino will give you HOURS of entertainment value.
Sounds like [2008-11-06]
you are saying a company Wal-Mart uses is charging the fee. Find out the name and contact them. If you don't get anywhere with them, ask your bank to straighten it out with them.
It should be obvious it was a mistake, and you should have been contacted.
Things are getting ridiculous these days!
You know, we all have needs in life, and [2008-11-01]
recognition is one of them. Good for you for doing something beneficial for animals, and it doesn't hurt the animals that you'd like others to know you have done something nice in life. I know the Bible says that kindnesses done in secret will be rewarded in heaven, but life is tough and to get through it, I don't see why we can't have a little pleasure or satisfaction out of life now and then to help make the druggery of life worth putting up with. If you want rewards in heaven, you can do something else anonymously, I suppose.
That sounds like my neighborhood [2008-10-31]
Don't you just love it? I hear a lot about awful neighbors and neighbors being unfriendly, and I can't even imagine. I used to just walk into my friend's house and vice versa. They're definitely like family. Unfortunately, they moved about 10 miles away, but we see each other every weekend for get togethers. In the summers we have no less than 20 kids running around pool jumping from house to house and general fun.
yes, its a wonderful life -- a feel-good movie :) [2008-10-27]
x
It's a Wonderful Life - oldie but goodie NM [2008-10-26]
x
For a real life-changing book, read The Last Lecture. nm [2008-10-26]
x
Old part-timer - the laundry soap recipe [2008-10-25]
I found this online and it It also includes the directions and the pricing comparisons included are also very similar to prices in my area.
The only difference is, in my part of the country, Arm Hammer wash soda isn't common on the store shelves and I have to order it online.
Since one of the kiddos is sensitive to perfumes, I will sometimes divide part of one batch into a couple of smaller bottles and add a drop or two of lavender essential oils just for the master bathroom towels and bedsheets.
start by taking charge of your life in 1 small way [2008-10-24]
Start exercising again. If you can I would pick something smaller to change to start with. I know this is easier said than done. Good luck.
Sounds interesting [2008-10-23]
Would you like to share your recipe?
Hmm, sounds like my ex-husband. [2008-10-21]
NN
sounds delicious -- my little boy is in the kitchen [2008-10-21]
i set him up with the mixer in the sink so he doesn he loves baking cakes cuz it's like a science project (he's 8)... loves baking...
and Christianity is an easy life? sm [2008-10-17]
And no, I would never disown a child of mine, any more than my Father in heaven would never disown me.
I've been there. [2008-11-22]
I don't believe in getting even - although, whew! I'm human. I've performed several mental castrations.
But through quiet observance, being stuck around this person albeit distant, I learned I didn't have to stoop. Life took care of that time and time again with the fool.
Talk it out with the right person, cry it out, write it out as much as you can; key word is out. Find an outlet, running, drawing; don't bury it within.
Does anyone on here have really...sm [2008-11-22]
light blonde hair and if so what does the job of keeping it that way entail? If it isn I mean really light blonde here.
It is such a job to keep this hair up that I am seriously considering going light brown and just putting platinum streaks in the top.
Everyone seems [2008-11-22]
pretty happy. It doesn't seem prurient. I've been in favor of other situations in which people are free to develop on an internal time clock rather than one imposed externally & in that regard there's probably something to this, but the siblings following the first probably got the idea to continue for a long time from watching, so there's definitely a bias there.
Would be interesting for someone to design a study comparing long-time thumb-suckers with children weaned at a later age. This woman would probably say that the experience of breastfeeding can't be duplicated or substituted with a bottle or a plastic nipple because the emotional part of it would be lost. I don't know. I guess it depends on the family involved. I remember on Six Feet Under, how Lisa & Nate were letting Maya sleep in their bed until she decided she didn't want to any more. I think there's just a whole movement out there comprised of people with similar ideas, & until someone does a long-term study, I guess I'd have to say any suggestion that it's out-&-out wrong is just conjecture or has a cultural bias.
Does anybody live near Trenton, NJ? If so a hospital position 40 hr week is available...sm [2008-11-22]
This requires a quick response on your part, because there are two positions open and I don The ft position is hospital transcription, hourly wage, all bennies and PTO and holidays. The other position is team leader for the MT department, directing work flow and working with staff. People are now interviewing, but wanted to give a chance. email me if you want to, because I will not name this on post. Thanks
If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm [2008-11-22]
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.
Help is a safety net you have paid for sm [2008-11-21]
Food stamps are a safety net we all pay for, all forms of public assistance are things we have been paying for all along. TAKE the help you need! Do move closer to family if you possibly can.
I have been in your shoes myself. I lost my home to foreclosure 4 years ago because of having a near-fatal drug interaction and losing my job of nearly 7 years. I made a couple of moves and finally ended up in a small town out of state from where I had lived for 30 years. I lived with a close friend for about 9 months and had the opportunity to buy a mobile home for $3000. The people I bought it from said I could make payments and I was able to pay it off in 5 months. It needed a lot of work and it has gotten it, most of which I have done myself. This project really helped me to regain parts of myself I had lost. It gave me a reason to get up and get going on my days off. I turned this ugly old thing into a lovely, comfortable home I cherish. I have lost about 50-60 lbs since living here and I have brought the idea of vastly cutting expenses in line with making more money. The end result is that I am very well off financially, better than in my entire life.
DO get medication to help you if you can. I didn't have medication to help because I am allergic to every psychotropic in existence. I did this by pulling myself up by the boot straps, but if I could have had help, I would have. There IS a brighter future out there. You CAN have that brighter future because you DESERVE IT. That said, no one expects you to get there alone!!!
Don't be embarrassed to ask and receive help. You will be able to help others later. Years ago, when my kids were young, I was a single parent, no support and it was Christmas time. My kids didn't even have adequate clothing or food. A neighbor I hardly knew handed me a Christmas card. Inside was a $100 gift card to K-Mart. She said that many years before that, she had been in my shoes and someone had given her $100 one Christmas, she was now paying this forward to me. The only provision was that I return this favor when I could, and that I bought something for myself too because I deserve nice things for my hard work. It was a turning point for me. I have been more of a giver since. Although I could have paid this back last year, I didn't know anyone who would appropriately benefit. This year, I do and I had to tell her that I was going to do this and why. She cried and felt embarrassed because, she said, she was usually in the position to give and it hurt a little to receive. I reminded her that she was GIVING me the gift of giving with pleasure.
Others are going to give to you with pleasure, love, friendship and concern for your well being. TAKE IT. One day you'll post back here about how good things are and I'll want to hear it.
keeping a secret [2008-11-21]
taking addiction too seriously is a mistake. Keeping it a dirty little secret is a mistake. Hiding Pa in the basement because he is an embarrassment is a mistake. There is NOTHING shameful about being addicted to a substance. I hardly think there is one person on this board who does not know someone on antidepressants or takes them and that is considered healthy? But medicating depression with vodka is shameful?
The best disinfectant is light.
Private counseling [2008-11-21]
Go to a private counselor yourself if he wonANONYMOUS programs attract those who do not get it and go around town blabbing your business, ruining your lives even moreso. Yes, they save lives but they often ruin them with their gossip, even the name gossip hisses, it ruins lives, topples marriages, loses jobs. Be sure before you let these people into your personal, private lives and your homes. Sometimes private, closed-door counseling is the best way to go. Then if you are both comfortable with going public that is your own personal decision. Beware of who you let into your life. If you were going to take a plane ride you would want to know the pilot.
I'm a virgin, help a first timer out .. [2008-11-21]
BLACK FRIDAY Shopper's!!!!
Ive NEVER in my life shopped on Black Friday, it used to be of no interest, then it got interesting for awhile, but DH hated the idea and I dont shop without him unless I absolutely have to and/or dying to get out, and now the interest is back with DH on my side! So I am excited, or should I be frightened, is it a true mad house?
I need some tips and info. Do you have any tips for a 1st Timer??
What time do you get at the store? Do you have to get a coupon or something to be allowed IN? If so, where do you get these coupons?
What time do stores typically open? What times do they take the sale prices down, is it usually an all day thing, or an end at lunch type of thing?
And most important of all. I am a fan of the old fashioned way..... newspaper ads to see who has what deal. Where do you get this? Does it come out THIS Weekend or on Thanksgiving Day??
Thanks so much!!!!
Sounds very much like to do with RAM or HDD [2008-11-21]
These two components are ones that make the computer freeze......the life of RAM and HDD depends on the usage, so 3 years can be quite some time...sorry, if this does not help you! Just another suggestion
Screen names...how did you come up with yours? [2008-11-21]
So how or why did you come up with the screen name you use here?
blondie_1147, deenibeeni, cherrychecked, phillygal, LinK, Just the big bad, backward typist, gourdpainter, PAMT, PAMT~MDM, mtmomof2, Twiters, XanaX, Silly Girl, Old part-timer, SkateGirl, Just Me, starving artist, Horski, Lolabug, GabbyChick, Kendra, sbMT, Kaydie, Marmann, Amanda, Stardust and all others?
mine's probably obvious [2008-11-21]
aside from the fact that i my initials for tying are MS, which are very common. so, many, many years ago, to separate myself from the group, i changed my initials to MX, which no one had. now, i
also, as is probably common, some of us have other screen names here than just our primary. i have more than one identity here, which shall remain nameless. another one of me is much more of a trouble-maker than the true XanaX, another regards being an ex-employee for another company, and yet another regarding my location in this country. i
Lolabug...lol...sm [2008-11-21]
Well Lola kinds of sounds like my first name and my husband used to call me (sorry this is really sappy)...butterfly...so I came up with bug out of that.
Everybody's stories behind their names are pretty interesting!!!
observation [2008-11-21]
Sounds like a good time to call mom and get some tips.
My husband is oblivious to our finances [2008-11-20]
Sometimes that It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can I I would suggest talking to the leader of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don It doesn I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn
I For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand.
As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.
I don't think I understand [2008-11-20]
so just let him do whatever, support his decisions, and hope for the best?
He has a good job it is just that so much of it is eaten by the attorneys, support, transportation, and crazy things the ex dreams up that the child must have and we are told we just have to pay it. It costs more than what I make to cover the mandatory expenses of my step-child.
I gave up our finances about a year ago to give him a taste of what it was like. Stupidly thinking this would help. Obviously it hasn't but has made things worse. I always reassure him and tell him we will get through it, etc. but when he asks me to make a decision I tell him honestly.
Recently asking if I mind if his teenage nephews come stay for the weekend I ask where is the extra money going to come from to feed them and get them to/from work as its an hour round trip. I offer maybe just one night instead of the entire weekend. Automatically thatthey asked for the weekend. He says he doesn't know where the money will come from and he won't ask the his brother either and asks me to call and tell them no. Of course when I refuse I can tell he gets upset although he won't say it.
We don't argue about stuff its just more of one of us getting pi$$ed off until it blows over and then starting again the following week when another circumstance comes up. Honestly, I'm just getting tired of putting up. It has been nearly 10 years now but only 4 since our finances went together.
We are also expecting a child, which we could afford before the last 6 months came crashing down on us. Of course this is part of my anxiety over finances but being a man and his usual self he wants to live in la-la land until we don't have money to buy diapers.
I'm just so frustrated. Thanks for listening and letting me know that there is hope things will change. Atleast I know when the step-child becomes an adult it will be like winning the lottery!
I need some help here -- [2008-11-20]
I am so depressed... I don
I just filed bankruptcy 2 years ago because of this job. My income changed so drastically that I lost everything. My car, my home, all of it.I just got things back on track earlier this year and now this crap has to start all over again. I do not foresee being able to make my rent payments on my new house that I just moved into, my cable will be turned off tonight at midnight for nonpayment, I have an old car now and everything keeps tearing up on it and I cannot afford to fix it, I just looked in my closet and I have no clothes to wear anymore, I have gained 50 pounds, I cry all the time, I am by myself all the time in this house, my family all live about 50 miles from me, so it is not affordable to drive there all the time, I have no friends, and as you can tell, I am seriously DEPRESSED!!!
I don I have done everything. I have no life outside of my home anymore. I never go out, I never take trips, my 5 year old grandson just this weekend asked me why I did not buy him a birthday present for his birthday last month (no money) and Christmas is coming up, which of course will be more of the same since there is no money...
Sorry to unload, just needed somewhere to go for a minute...
I've been there [2008-11-20]
I have been in your shoes. Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm). That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I I canhow depressed III am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in.
The poster above is right. You need to see a doctor. I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money. Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance. They will not refuse you. I found a clinic near my house that is part of a largehospital. I was able to see a doctor for a physicalandget my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge. They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again. They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month.
Move closer to your family. You My family has been supportive of all the decisions I Spend time with yourgrandchild, kids can make you feel so much better.If you I did. I didn Forjust myselfI was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped outtremendously. I know it You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet. It may take a while, but you will make it. Good luck to you.
I think you are right. [2008-11-20]
I have had most of the day to think things over and cry. I did talk to him a bit and realize that it is mostly his pride (man-ness) that is the problem. I just have to stand my ground and not feel guilty for it, although I will anyway...I think that is just the female (or pregnant hormonal lol) way with feelings, etc.
I have also been thinking today that even though things are getting really tough, we have been able to pay our bills so far. It's really going to suck with the holidays especially but it will be past in a couple months and life will resume as normal. Who knows where we will be by then but for now things could be much worse. Even with all the headaches, stress, tears, etc. it could be much worse if we lost a job or...well I don't even want to think about the other horrible things that people go through.
Thanks for your support and understanding. Some times women just need to know that they aren't alone in their struggles.
Thanks for the suggestions. [2008-11-20]
Where the step is concerned it won't help. The situation is what it is and I knew it when we married. It's just frustrating at times but I know it is only temporary. I would hate to be the hateful ex who treats someone this way. It must be a terrible life to live constantly dreaming of ways to hurt your ex and his family instead of enjoying your own family and knowing that your child is well taken care of.
As for the family stuff. I have tried to talk to the leaders of the family and they looked at me like I was a complete loon. That's fine. They can do what they want. He can do what he wants, but our budget is what it is and that will mean less for his child. Next year I WILL have a xmas fund set up so that I can provide for our kids and we don't end up in this holiday mess again. If nothing else $20 a month is more than what we have now and I'm sure I can scrape that together if I really try.
Thanks for your help. :) I wish I could be oblivious like your husband!
haven't been there [2008-11-20]
but just wanted to wish you well. It sounds like you are making the right decision. My husband's father is an alcoholic and from what I have heard (we have talked about it a lot) it is not pleasant for kids. You are making the right decision for them. My MIL did not do the same for her kids but my husband still wishes she had.
His father is still an alcoholic and now we face the difficult decision with his influence on our children. We make the tough decisions that we feel are best for our kids. It's our job as parents and we know it is the right thing to do, despite what others within the family may say, namely the alcoholic FIL and MIL who still stands by his side and takes the abuse.
Good luck. It will all work out in time.
I love Mexican food, but sometimes I [2008-11-19]
make my own or other stuff and make my own TV dinners. Chicken pot pie sounds good with the cooler weather. Could also pick up a presmoked presliced brisket or ribs and heat in the crock pot. Have the recipe for Wendy's chili which I make (TopSecretRecipes.com).
Ok...I have a question [2008-11-19]
Is there some secret to wearing a pushup bra? I cannot for the life of me figure out how to wear it so it looks right. I always get the muffin look and I hate that. I am large breasted, 36D, so is there just to much for a bra to push up? I have a party coming up on Saturday night and really wanted to wear this bra with my blouse..you know kinda looking sexy but not skanky. I'd appreciate it if anyone is willing to share the big secret!
Abraham Lincoln's Thanksgiving Proclamation 1863 [2008-11-19]
Abraham Lincoln while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years, with large increase of freedom.No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand, and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.Done at the city of Washington, this third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the independence of the United States the eighty-eighth.By The President: Abraham LincolnWilliam H. Seward, Secretary of State
Don't use your debit cards [2008-11-19]
I had a problem with fraud on my account through them. Surely they have fixed it by now, as this was last year and the year before (yes 2 separate occurrences, both at xmas time). So I would not suggest using any cards there but cash only.
I do agree that it seems to be a great idea for teens. Their prices are great and our location has always been helpful with advise, returns, etc.
Another good idea I have found for teenagers is a gift card for restaurants or gas stations. It helps their parents a bit and if they have a girlfriend/boyfriend places like AppleBees or Red Lobster are nice so that they can go on a nice date and not have to worry about $30 for the bill. Even with a part-time job that's a lot of money for a teenager! :) My nephew actually requests it.
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