Maybe it's the personal preference of the local priest

We eat out mostly at the local pub. [2008-11-18]
We're lucky to have a real neighborhood Irish pub, and we like to meet up with friends there, listen to music, have a beer and a sandwich. It probably costs us about $30 for two of us. Since we're nearly empty-nesters, it's just DH and I who go out. Big, fancy dinners are usually just for birthdays or anniversaries. When wefend for yourself night . My sons know how to cook. DH not so much. But he can make a sandwich, and there's usually something leftover that he can make. My youngest son is a good cook, and if I ask him he'll usually make dinner for all of us when I'm just too tired to bother. Also, a Crockpot is a marvelous thing! I love it. A little planning and effort, and dinner is in the pot cooking all day and ready for dinner time.

I'm 4' 11" and our local Captain D's has taken to [2008-11-04]
dispenser nailed to the wall above the drink counter. I can't ever reach it. It's a minor inconvienece for me but what about people in a wheelchair?? I refuse to patronize that particular restaraunt and have written a complaint to the company but of course nobody cares.

ask your local pharmacist. where I am it was [2008-10-31]
over the counter RID. but there is probably something new by now - that was 15 yrs ago.

Local library? (sm) [2008-10-27]
I actually used to be a book junkie, but since the economic times have gotten so...interesting, and they charge an arm and a leg just for a paperback these days, I have started checking stuff out from the library. I almost won Just is not worth it to pay those prices. Anyhow, off my soapbox. If you have a library nearby they should have most of the books. Charlaine Harris is the author, and she has several other series, as well. HC

No, nothing personal. They can ask for female or male. [2008-10-22]
x

See, the problem is, you're taking YOUR personal [2008-10-16]
adhere to it, or else they are morally 'WRONG'. This teacher isn't forcing anyone to attend her marriage. Whoever wants to stay home, can. It's just no big deal. How you think as an individual IS your right in the US, whether you believe it is God-given or not. But the deal is, that right may also be Buddha-given, or Allah-given, etc. I find it really strange that people feel there is a different 'lifestyle' associated with homosexuality. Except for a brief period of time spent in the bedroom (which is really NOBODY's business but theirs - not even God's), for most gays, every other aspect of life is exactly the same. They still set their alarms, get up in the morning, go to work, and contribute to society. Actually, a large number of them contribute far MORE to society than your average 'Joe Sixpack' or 'Joe the Plumber'. Among my own gay friends, there are: - An astrophysicist - A doctor - A lawyer - A teacher - A scientist - On individual who graduated from both Harvard AND Yale When it comes to contributing to the outward appearances of the city, the gay community has moved into some areas (like the Castro) which used to be seedy, dangerous neighborhoods, remodelled, repainted, rebuilt, opened restaurants and boutiques, and turned it into one of the city's best neighborhoods with a strong tax base. There are homes in my own neighborhood owned by gays that they put their effort and money into, and now those homes shine, increasing property values all around them. I've been on this earth far more years than I care to admit, and I have to say - I have yet to meet a single homosexual person, male or female, that I didn't like, and who didn't make a significant contribution in life. That can't be said for many of the heterosexuals I've known. And finally, let me tell ya - the best 'girlfriend' you could ask for is a gay guy. My friends keep me laughing nonstop, and brighten my life. Condemning a person's entire existence because of a mere 20-minute difference in bedroom behavior is wrong. If that's what 'God teaches', then I'm glad that's not MY God. My God is tolerant of all those that he created.

Have you tried your local Salvation Army, United Way, or places like that? sm [2008-10-15]
The town where I live has a place called Mell Trotter Ministries. You can donate your vehicles and then the people to live and work at Mel Trotter fix up the cars and are learining a trade at the same time. They then sell the cars to the public. The money they make on the cars goes back into the organization. Also our United Way has something called 2-1-1. You just call 211 and tell the person you talk to what you are looking for or need and they can steer you in the right direction. Good luck to the family you are trying to help.

This may be to personal for some of you but... [2008-09-25]
How is the economy crisis effecting you? Your budget, your retirement, your family, your FRIENDS families. How is it effecting the circle you run with? Do you discuss this with family or friends? It is effecting my family. The gas thing alone is cutting our budget! My youngest started college and is driving back and forth. I've called my aunt who lives close to the school and asked if he could stay with her a few nights a week to save gas money. The drive for him one way is 1 hour. It has already saved us $$$. The fact that he can't find a job isn't helping either. There are no jobs for young people. Even in fast food! Food prices have effected what we eat! Have you priced CHEESE lately? A 2 cup packages of shredded cheese cost more than a gallon of milk! Food has gotten outrageous. We have our primary home and we have a small cabin that we go to on weekends. Our primary home is paid for and has been but we do have a mortgage on our cabin. LUCKILY and by the grace of God, we are in a fixed rate situation but it's still difficult. Did we spread ourselves to thin? Sometimes it is tough but we budget and try to be careful with what we spend. Our payment is nowhere near the $1500 per month mortgages people are talking about - and at that price point with an adjustable RATE - I don't know how people are living. Also lucky that we do not have credit card debt. I've read where the CC companys are raising limits to increase spending while increasing the payment interest as well? I see more and more credit cards being used at the grocery store. It's all just very scarey for me. We have some friends who are building their dream home. They have worked and saved for 15 years. The economy is blessing them in some ways since there are a lot of people looking for work but hurt them in others as the price of materials skyrockets!

we had a local company that came out to [2008-09-21]
maybe you just had a bad customer service rep?

If you look in the Government pages in your local phone book. sm [2008-09-17]
If you look in the government pages of your local phone book, you will find numbers for their DC office and their local offices if they have one. You can also call the White House. That number you have to call information for. You could even get the numbers online. THe area code for Washington, DC is 202.

From personal experience, do not stay [2008-09-11]
for the kids. They really do pick up on this. My oldest (she was 5 at the time) witnessed a lot of fights and other things that really upset her. Also, life is too short to be miserable in any relationship--especially if it has been going on for 3 years. If you have tried counseling and that did not work, then think at least about a separation. My family told me, after the fact, about how down and depressed I was before I left my ex, and the 100% turn around after I left. It does no one any good to stay when you both are miserable.

commercials for personal items. [2008-08-31]
nm

Local veterinarians...sm [2008-08-04]
Ask your local vet offices if they have a bulletin board for flyers. And maybe pet grooming places?

I have no personal experience....sm [2008-06-22]
with esophageal cancer, but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am to hear of this.

I have nothing personal.... [2008-06-14]
against pit bulls in particular. I think all dogs can be dangerous given different circumstances. I don't think it is right to single out a particular breed and just take away an animal from its home without just cause. However, my elderly mother, who suffers from MS, has been plagued by horrible neighbors with many dogs. They do not keep their dogs in their own yard. Not only do they tear out my motherher back yard as their own personal bathroom. Their one dog bit their own daughter and nothing was done. They are always barking at us when we are in my mother I had one come at me and I picked up a shovel that was thankfully near meto protect myself if the dog continued it advance. Their little dog frequently gets under my mother We have called the Humane Society and they will do nothing. I personally think that people should have a right to shoot any dog on their property that shouldn If it weren A 60-some, widowed woman with health problems has no rights to keep destructive, mean dogs off of her property but hey....don Sad when a mut as more rights than my mom. Any irresponsible owner shouldn I will get off of my soap box now. LOL.

I wrote my local buffalo rock and they told me a [2008-05-21]
I will look for your Folger's Instant Straight up tomorrow when I go!

the last few times I was in our local [2008-05-09]
all the people working the windows were pushing the 'forever' stamps, telling everyone about the rate increase coming and you should buy some now before it goes up again. One postal worker even told one of the customers if she lost the stamps for 5 years and then found them she'd be able to use em. Personally, we snail mail so few things in our house these days that when I bought 3 books I figured they will probably last us about 5 years.

just a personal opinion... [2008-05-08]
I think this can be a little tricky with kids. Children's imaginations are developing and they are learning so many new things, not to mention they do not always know the meaning of things or understand reasons for the way things may be done. Adults on the other hand, I think their dreams do mean something. I think it is their subconscious talking to them. Things they regress coming to the surface. I know I have had some kooky dreams before and they seem to take place when I am struggling with something. I wouldn't put too much into it with an 8 yr old, I have a child who is 10, sometimes they just have bad dreams at that age. If it is something that happens regularly or your heart tells you your child is struggling with something emotionally, it might be worth looking into therapy.

Referriing to the women being "robotic," our local [2008-04-17]
x

Got 3 at the local party supply store. I LOVE them. [2008-04-09]
x

One year 2 of our local radio stations, a [2008-04-01]
hard rock and the country music stations, switched studios and were broadcasting on each other's frequencies.

sorry but I don't recall asking for personal opinion [2008-03-30]
no offense, but I was just asking those with experience on the subject.

Not my personal situation but I think [2008-03-25]
a lot of the people you hear bragging about their refunds are those on some form of public assistance or single parents who are getting the earned income credit. Although I think you can get an advance on this, most do not. Personally, I like to get around $2000 back for the year. I know I could be saving that on my own, but it If it were in my account, I The small amount of interest I'd make on it for the year wouldn't be worth the stress of having to save it. I haven We lost our house in a fire in October and were underinsured. Now we have to file some sort of tax deduction for that. It

This is a personal subject between him and his wife. [2008-03-18]
First, I hardly think affairs are only a NY thing. Do you know all of NY office holders? If you believe stats, most American adults have had an affair. I don't think that necessarily makes a person not decent, it just means they're human and had a failing. Personally, I'm tired of God complexes in Government. This is a personal subject between him and his wife. I wonder how many of us could live up to the scrutiny heaped upon politicians. I KNOW I couldn't. I've made mistakes too.

My personal observations as a [2008-03-14]
mom: I am in my 40s and grew up back in the old days when discipline for kids in school and at home was okay; however, methods used then are now taboo. It looks like *traditional* discipline (which I feel wasnot necessarily always sensible)has been replaced with an either hands-off approach (dueto fear of lawsuits,retaliation, etc.) or extreme measures,asdescribed in the above post.This brings to mindthe question: How much more effective are we these days with these approaches? I feel for kids these daysas well asfuture generations - looks like they'll have their hands full, if society continues this way.

Probably self-explanatory... [2008-11-22]
On a personal level, I'm gothic... On a professional level, I'm an MT. People are somehow always taken aback at that combination, but I rather enjoy demolishing the preconceived stereotypes of others, so it's all good. Rock on, my fellow MTs :)

Private counseling [2008-11-21]
Go to a private counselor yourself if he wonANONYMOUS programs attract those who do not get it and go around town blabbing your business, ruining your lives even moreso. Yes, they save lives but they often ruin them with their gossip, even the name gossip hisses, it ruins lives, topples marriages, loses jobs. Be sure before you let these people into your personal, private lives and your homes. Sometimes private, closed-door counseling is the best way to go. Then if you are both comfortable with going public that is your own personal decision. Beware of who you let into your life. If you were going to take a plane ride you would want to know the pilot.

I actually am more afraid of who is in [2008-11-20]
the kitchen than I am of the meat, especially our local restaurant because I see him shopping at the same store I go to and they are a family owned business here for a number of years. But I certainly see your point.

We did something similar [2008-11-20]
but it was a local theater gift card instead of the netflix. I didn't know netflix did such a thing. That's a great idea. A smore's kit is nice to make or homemade marshmellows (they are not that difficult to make as most people think) with homemade hot chocolate mix and some cute mugs. Also made fleece throws for everyone for xmas one year. YOu can get the no-sew fleece and just cut a fringe around the edge to finish it. Offer up a free baby sitting night to the parents, all you need is a card. Tuck it in the tree with their name on it. If there is something special that you make that someone likes you can make up a basket with many of the ingredients and include the recipe card. If it is cookies or something nonperishable you can include a finished version in the basket.

make a call [2008-11-20]
Look in the phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous and call the central office. Tell them you need someone to make a 12-step call. Someone from your local area who is in AA will come over to your house and talk to your husband and you can leave with the kids during this time. By the time you get back, your husband will have decided whether or not he will sober up. Usually the person he talked to will assume responsibility for taking him to the meetings or finding someone who will sponsor him. So you are off the hook at this point. On the other hand, he may decide no thanks and then you will have your real answer. AA is free and pretty crowded with new people around the holidays, so the timing is good. The average age of a person coming into AA is 25 to 45, so there should be plenty of people for him to talk to. At the same meeting place there should be meetings for you called Al-Anon and for your son called Alateen. Good Luck!

I agree with the posters below. [2008-11-20]
You need to move closer to family and see a doctor. You can also find the local social services department and they will provide free medications for 6 months. you will have to see one of their doctors but and fill out some paperwork but that's the only catch. Depression is higher around the holidays. The weather, finances, family, on top of every day stresses can be overwhelming. Being in this antisocial job doesn't help either. I have often thought of getting something a few days a week just to get out of the house. I think it would do anyone good. Know that things could always be worse and they will get better. Your grandson is young, he doesnwhere as this is a common occurrence in kids. I thought it was only my child but since have found many others are the same. Keep your head up and do what you can. It's ok to cry and vent to others. Don't keep it all bottled up inside. You will be surprised to find who your true friends and family are when you open up and really need them.

Agree with below, don't bottle it up sm [2008-11-20]
I tend to do this also and ended up with shingles at the age of 14 and again at age 34 last year due to stress. Meeting new people as suggested by others is a great idea. If you want, trying visiting a local church. This is one of the things that helped me the most since I started going again. The socialization alone has been almost as good for me as the messages.

At certain stores in MI, s/m [2008-11-18]
They will double coupons up to $1. I do this a lot with toothpaste and stockpile it. A lot of times it is 2/$4 or 2/$5, so I either get it free or for 50 cents a tube. A lot of the $1 coupons are for new items and our local store here is pretty good about having those on sale a lot during the first few weeks it is out to promote it, so I get the new things relatively cheap as well. You just have to be careful about not getting things just because you have a coupon. When I coupon shop, it can take me 3 hours because I compare all the prices with brands to coupons, etc. You also have to really know your prices as compared to other stores. I have one store where I get my meat and I don Where they double the $1 coupon, I don I'm really careful about it and belong to an internet sites to help me as well.

I think I spend less at the store when [2008-11-18]
we eat out/order in. Of course, then our entertaining budget increases. But some things are cheaper to just order in. For example, pizzas -- I can get 2 large pepperoni pizzas from the local pizzeria for under $20. If I buy them in the store, I spend about $15 and then have to cook them and my kids don The frozen kind are also smaller. I just got groceries this past Friday and spent $200. I had an entire cart full. In addition to the coupons I had, I also had a 20% discount on everything (one of those reward plans for spending so much the previous 2 months). I got value packs of skinless/boneless chicken breasts - buy 1 get 1 free -- $15 packs of chicken, breakfast sausage on sale, ham steaks on sale, plus my 20% off all that. Overall, I think I spend somewhere around $150 a week on groceries. There are 5 of us -- me, my hubs, and 3 boys -- ages 6 to 11. What I notice that I spend more on are school lunches. It costs $2.00 a day per child and I don I $2/day x 3 kids = $6/day x 5 days/week = $30/week x 4 weeks/month = $120 for lunch. YIKES!!! I think I can do better than that if I pack them.

I'm embarrassed to say this, but [2008-11-18]
we usually eat out at least 3 if not 4 nights a week. Always eat out on Fridays and Saturdays and then usually Tuesday and Thursday nights. I generally cook a large family meal on Sunday with enough leftovers to last through Monday. Tuesday night we either order in and Wednesdays we have breakfast for dinner -- my kids love that one. Thursdays we usually order in because it We usually eat out Friday nights because we go to get groceries (I don Saturday we We When it was a 15-minute drive to town, I planned our meals ahead of time and usually only ordered once a week or once every 2 weeks and we only ate out on Saturdays. We seemed to have picked up these extra 2 nights of ordering in out of convenience (a nicer word than laziness). Oh the cost -- I have 3 kids and a hubby. On the nights we order in, we spend about $25 to $30 (saving because of no drinks or appetizers). When we eat out, the bill is usually around $50. So altogether, I guess I spend about $155 a week on eating out -- WOW/YIKES! Thanks for making me realize that. I think it

Pitbull Hero [2008-11-17]
Stray Pit Bull Saves Woman, Child from AttackerPet Pulse Staff Reports Browse NewsFront Page BY CATEGORY:Alerts Notices Animal Attacks Care Safety Crime Law Cruelty Abuse Deaths Accidents Entertainment Health Science Heroes International Lost Found New Trends Petlanthropy Strange But True Survival BY PET:Dogs Cats Fish Birds Horses Reptiles Small Pets Other Pets November 5, 2008 A dog came out of nowhere and stopped a knife-wielding robber from accosting a mother and her young son on Monday afternoon. (Pet Pulse Illustration by Tim Mattson) PORT CHARLOTTE, Fla. -- The wandering 65-pound Pit Bull mix might have seemed menacing to some passerby, but one woman will always remember him as her guardian angel. The dog, which authorities think is lost and not a stray, successfully thwarted a robbery attack on a mother and her 2-year-old son, who were held at knifepoint Monday afternoon. The Florida woman, who has been identified by authorities simply as Angela, was leaving a playground with her toddler son in Port Charlotte when a man approached her in the parking lot with a knife and told her not to make any noise or sudden movements. Angela didn't have to do either to protect herself and her child -- a dog mysteriously ran to the scene and charged the man, who quickly fled. I don Animal Control Lt. Brian Jones told Pet Pulse. I don The exceptional part of the story, Jones said, is that the dog had never met or even seen the people it quickly jumped to defend. You hear about family dogs protecting their owners, but this dog had nothing to do with this woman or her kid, Jones said. He was like her guardian angel. After the alleged thief ran away, Angela quickly placed her son, Jordan, in the car and tried to drive off. Before she could, though, the dog jumped into her backseat, waiting with her for the police and animal control officers to arrive at the scene. The dog was transported to a local shelter and if his owners donAngel. Animal control officers and shelter workers believe Angel is lost, and not a stray, because of his good health, sturdy weight and mild temperament. It Jones said of Angel's possible owners. For Angela, it doesn't matter where the dog came from, just that he was there when she needed him most. I don Angela told NBC2 News. For a small town with a population of 46,452, animal control officers were kept busy Monday afternoon. Jones says they department also responded to a report about a boa constrictor in a church parking lot. The snake found its way into a car engine and was able to be removed without being harmed. It took three people to move the massive, seemingly random placed snake. It he said of the Gulf Coast town. And we can go for four or five months without the media contacting us about a story. It Officers from the responding county sheriff's office canvased the area and were unable to locate the suspect described as being in his 20s, tall and dark haired. Tell us what you think about Stray Dog Saves Woman, Child Held at Knifepoint below. Share your favorite videos by clicking on the ZootooTV tab. Send us your story ideas by e-mailing us at news@zootoo.com or by calling us at 877-777-4204. Pet Pulse reporter Amy Lieberman and NBC-2.com contributed to this article.

I think you are an inspiration for wanting to do this....sm [2008-11-16]
I guess a lot of us can relate; I have 2 or 3 people from my past that have moved far away and I have no way of finding them right now, but please believe me, I truly want to do the same thing, go to them and make peace, to say be able to forgive each other and leave things on good terms. Regrets and guilts can slowly eat away, and it is good for your own personal health to do this, you must feel so much better. WE all mess up, we all need forgiveness now and then, or to grant forgiveness. You are a lovely person with integrity, honor, and caring to do this, such a lovely post to read!!!

Craft person sm [2008-11-16]
If someone is a craftperson and likes to sew, I have seen these doll clothes at craft shows for reasonable prices. I donlabel clothes or just to fit the doll. As for the dolls themselves, I don't know. Perhaps your local town has a regional newspaper that advertises for less than the metropolitan editions. Good luck with it, they are expensive and I hope someone can help you.

Craft person sm [2008-11-16]
If someone is a craftperson and likes to sew, I have seen these doll clothes at craft shows for reasonable prices. I donlabel clothes or just to fit the doll. As for the dolls themselves, I don't know. Perhaps your local town has a regional newspaper that advertises for less than the metropolitan editions. Good luck with it, they are expensive and I hope someone can help you.

I always buy generic. [2008-11-14]
I oftentimes laugh when I am shopping at my local store as I know when a meal or baking is done what the problem could be in doing this as doubt anyone can tell or if there is a difference that I made this with generic eggs for say 1.29 a dozen rather than those fancy eggs with a little stick-on at about twice as much. Doubt it. Find a local closest to home discount grocery. Stock up on staples and store them appropriately. If you bake, store brown sugar with a piece of bread in it to keep it soft, replace it if you need to. Lots of items can be stored in freezer bags of the appropriate size, spaghetti, macaroni, etc. Better than the bag it comes in. Get those generic too. I buy all my paper items in bulk - much cheaper to buy a 12-roll of TP on sle definitely than not. Just make sure its not single-ply!!

Most are just hoping to have some joy for their kids sm [2008-11-14]
Wefantasy. They do put it together at a certain age and itWe had an older kid who spoiledour Christmas party because he thought it his business to out the Santa thing to the younger ones as he was, bless him, highly intelligent and was told the truth from birth. Had some kids crying at one point. I think the point is, do what's right for your own family and try to have something for the kids to look forward to in these hard times especially. There is no right or wrong, just all interpret things differently and we're all very tired of all this bad news going on in the world. Have to look forward to something! Happy Holidays, no matter how you celebrate! We adults know the reason for the season. Bottom line - be happy! Life is temporary, imagination is wonderful, it takes us away from the bad news for awhile. Joy to the world and to each his own. As long as the older kids keep the secret to themselves, they also should enjoy the excitement of watching the little ones have fun with it. It's all good.

Please...I need someone to talk to...sm [2008-11-13]
Okay, its pity party time. I may need to get a professionalfree therapy. I am feeling really, really guilty about not seeing my dad as much as I should. So, heredad just up and leaves sort of way. He got a job in another city about 5 hours away. I remember we were all really excited about it as it was a really good career move for him. Mom didnagreement was that he would come home on the weekends and see us (right). So this turned into seeing him every month, to every couple of months, to about twice a year (thanksgiving and Christmas). Him and mom are still married (don't know how she does it) but I feel such resentment toward him that it is hard for me to go see him. We only live about 15 minutes away from my parents and are in their town a lot to see my husband's family. However, I choose not to go see my father because it is awkward and weird and it stresses me out to the max. I get to see mom about 3 times a week as we work together (both as transcriptionists) at our local hospital. I love spending time with her, but not with my dad around. I know I'm hurting his feelings when I don't see him but on his birthday, father's day, holidays, etc. He doesn't drink THAT much anymore, a beer or two a day (we think), but it still bothers the heck out of me when I see him drinking. Although it is better than mom and I trying to get him to bed while he is falling down drunk or driving away, getting a DUII, etc. I would never tell him how I feel because I love him and wouldn't hurt him like that. He isn't very healthy (hep C, high BP, neuropathy, etc) and I don't think he'll be around for that much longer. NEway..getting off track...I just need some advice and/or to hear someone else's stories about something like this. I don't know what to do and it is really getting to me. It does feel better to be able to talk to someone about it though (husband doesn't understand and talking to mom about it just makes her feel bad). Thanks ladies for all of your support!!!

backup plan [2008-11-13]
I I have a FT hourly QA job, PT hourly QA job, transcribe pt and also am gathering some transcription from a local teaching university. At this point I don I feel very lucky that I can work as much as possible from home-I I have a lot of debt, not behind but want to get out from under it. 2 kids in college....so far not too expensive as they are both at a JC. Christmas will be all cash and much skimpier this year. If I didn I am just crossing my fingers and toes that my husband doesn Times are tough tough tough. But they could be worse.

"It's the thought that counts" - sm [2008-11-11]
Anyone who thinks enough of you to give you anything at all, deserves a heart-felt 'thank you'. All it means in the end is that they gave you something to let you know you mean something to them. When I was a kid, a girl I knew had about 30 friends she wanted to give a holiday card to, and only had 15 cards. And no money to buy more. So, she tore each card in half, and gave each half to all 30 of her friends. Sure, you got a printed message that either said, 'Merry Chr- an- Happy Ne-', or else you got one that said, '-istmas -d a -w Year'. But each half had a personal, handwritten holiday message to the recipient on it, and we all treasured our half-cards as much as if they'd been whole, because of the person that gave them to us. So, it really is the though that counts!

I differ in my opinions - sm [2008-11-11]
Everyone has limitations and personal problems,including those with high IQ. When we examine those on the other end of the scale, the mentally challenged, many of them seem very happy, and easily contented with the simple things in life. Its because they are able to concentrate on that one thing and enjoy it. Often the rest of us are too distracted by what The smarter one is, the more easily they can identify what is wrong with a situation, so perhaps the more problems they see the more they tend to be distracted by worries, etc. and cannot enjoy the simple things in life. Alcoholism? The tendency to that type of escapism is inheritable. Wise people that know it runs in their family will never indulge at all. But smart doesn In fact,smart often leads to arrogance, which leads to risk taking. You can also wonder how smart people can smoke, gamble, vote the way they do, whatever. These behaviors may be unwise, but they don Guess what my ex said to me - I have so many more brain cells than most people, I can afford to kill half of them off and STILL be smarter than you. Gee, I wonder why I divorced him... I knew a brilliant guy (not my ex) that I posed your question regarding self-destruction. He claimed it was his brain, and his right to waste it, or not,as he saw fit. I suppose it will be between him and his maker to discuss whether or not it is a sin to do so. I don Nobody blames my ex They lose the respect of people that had high hopes for them, yes, the definitely do. Their future looks really dismal. But they can still run rings around us in calculus, even three-sheets-to-the-wind. Aggravating as heck, but oh well, I am one that believes that if a person wants to trash their life, its between them and God. But as I told my ex, when judgement day comes, he'll have some explaining to do, and I wouldn't want to be his his shoes.

That stinks. [2008-11-10]
I'd be mad too. I know my friend's who text and those who don't. I also know some of my friends use their cell for everything and others only for emergency. I would call them according to their preference. If we were all in the same hotel, I wouldn't think of a cell phone but would think of the room phones and/or knocking on the door if you were in the same hallway. Personally, I think its rude to be tied to a cell phone when you are with other people. Everyone knows that if I am busy (that means even just eating dinner at home with my family) I do not answer a cell phone. If its important they will leave a message or call back. If I get 2 calls back to back, I will answer. I think it's disrespectful. Unless of course you have kids but even so my kids would know not to call me to ask where the peanut butter is while I'm out with a friend or at work. It better be a real emergency. With all that said, I think this is becoming a problem in society in general, not just your group of friends. I went to dinner with several friends recently and they all had their cell phones out. One was taking calls and/or calling those who were missing to see where they were. I was the only one who apparently turned their ringer completely off and left it in my pocket. When I excused myself to the bathroom I checked to see if I had any messages, otherwise things can certainly wait 30 minutes to an hour.

nursing home decision [2008-11-09]
I am living this as we speak. My father died in March of 2007. My mother became bedridden in June 2007. I had hospice come in to assist, Home Health and Hospice to be exact, and they are wonderful. They actually have their own private nursing home-type facility in the next town over. With hospice, on an occasional basis and when a bed is available, they offer the caregiver a 5-day respite at their facility. After momma went for the first time she was offered a bed there and I immediately accepted. The facility is very small and only for the 3HC clientele, with only 12 private rooms divided into 2 sides - one side with 6 beds for the terminal clients and one side with 6 beds for residential clients. Momma was able to stay on the residential side for 7 months; however, her condition was stable and Medicare would no longer pay the fee. Momma came home after that and I have again been her primary caregiver since January of this year. She is contractured, bedridden, and rarely speaks or opens her eyes. I do have a sitter that works during the daytime hours M-F so that I can actually work, run errands when I need to, and get the kids to and from school because otherwise I cannot leave the house at all because momma cannot be left alone. I feel blessed to have found this line of work not quite 6 years ago. I have a 4-1/2 year old and a 6 year old and momma to care for so working from home has been a lifesaver. I, too, made the promise to momma that I would not put her in a nursing home and I will stand by that. Itcare most of the public places provide. It's a tough decision to make - even tougher if there aren't funds available like there are in our case (thanks to my great daddy) to pay for the sitter to come in and assist. But when the sitter isn't here, the kids and I must be. For the most part they understand, but sometimes they really just want to go somewhere or to the park or to McDonalds and we just can't do it. It's a huge personal sacrifice for your entire family to make to keep a parent at home. The decision isn't always just personal, though. It can be financial, too. You will make the right decision for whatever your situation is. Whatever you decide to do, just know that your parent respects you enough to make that decision for them and that they love you. Best of luck to you honey... hugzzzzz

I have had the pleasure... [2008-11-09]
....of working in several nursing homes as a CNA and nurse before coming to medical transcription. It's hard work and usually staffing is sometimes paltry, even in the good homes, but we really do care. Really. Every place has bad eggs, the hospitals, home care, etc., but everyone usually has to have some sort of heart to work in a nursing home. First things first...I always would check for jobs with this litmus test, and I recommend anyone do this. This is a make or break kind of ordeal. You look for the state inspection report. It HAS to be placed in a prominent place in the facility. If you cannot find it readily, ask where it is. If there is anything going on with hiding these documents, you leave and never come back. The other thing is to smell for stale urine or strong air fresheners. If you smell either of those, leave. (Do not check for BM smell--the smell often radiates and may be new, for lack of a better term.) Look at the residents. Do many of them seem content? Do you see aides with gait belts around their waists? Do the nurses look terribly stressed? Please also do not judge by tones of voices in the direct care staff. Often the staff must talk very directly, succintly, and abruptly--it sometimes comes off as harsh, but it's not--for particular residents to hear and/or understand. If you go in a facility in the evening, often the place is chaotic, particularly if there are demented residents. There is a condition known as sundowning that is very, very real. The ones with dementia who are sundowning may give the impression that care is not being given due to the chaos and behaviors brought by the condition. It's not the case. Usually these residents are kept in common areas until they are calm enough to retire for the night. If you go in the nighttime, often there is one night nurse for about 65ish residents. If you are so inclined to come in at this time and do not see anyone at the nurse's station for some time, know that the nurse may be tending to a medical issue and the CNAs are tending to personal care of the residents. If you ever see nurses eating a sandwich in one hand and writing in another hand while sitting at the nurse's station, this is sometimes the only break he or she gets. It's not out of disrespect that this is done. It is so that nurse can care for the residents as best as he or she can. What you are describing in your original post, unfortunately, is quite common, from what I have seen. Two people who are married a long time will often pass not too far apart. It seems people often do decide when they will go. As a nurse, it's one of the more incredible things I've seen. When I saw it happen, I always had the sense there is an extremely strong bond between the spouses that absolutely nothing could break. I'm not trying to say anything is amiss with your mother. I'm not. It doesn't always happen that way. I hope I don't come off that way. I'm sorry you are going through this, because no one wants to send a loved one to the nursing home, yet caring for an ailing parent is one of the most stressful things anyone can experience. I have never been in your position, so I hope I don't come off as too forward, rude, or presumptuous, but I wanted to tell you a little more about what you may be getting into. If you live in Iowa, I'd recommend you to a great one that has the best nurse I've ever met working there now. He has cooked up oyster soup in our kitchen when a resident stopped eating because the resident loved oyster soup. He has taken residents fishing for the heck of it. He wears a scrub shirt with chickens on it because many of our residents were farmers and like the shirt (and because my husband has a silly sense of humor and a wife with a sewing machine). I've known CNAs who buy (with their own money) residents pop and even steak just because the resident wanted it and could have it. Shoot, lots of us do it, even when we don't have a lot of money to our names. I loved to sing with the residents that had dementia (music seems to be retained) and chat about life with the residents who had their faculties. I promise it's not all doom and gloom. Sure, nursing homes could do better, but if you find the right one, it may just work out. All my best to you and your mother.

She won't grow to fit her tank, she will just keep growing.... [2008-11-08]
But eventually she has to stop growing some time. I really think she has probably grown as much as she is going to. If she has to go to a bigger tank yet, we may have to see if our local zoo will take her. The tanks are the biggest outlay. I get all her rocks free from our local monument maker and a quarry. I buy a bottle of the stuff to kill the chlorine and use our city water. Cleaning her tank is not too bad as we have a gravel vacuum. We donpoop and food scraps. Then we replace it. Other than her lights burning out once in a while, she is pretty low mainatenance. And fun to watch. Especially when she chases the goldfish. LOL

Soooo let's talk casinos and gambling [2008-11-07]
I had lunch today with my women's golf group at a buffet inside one of the local casinos. I was astounded to see how many people were in there, gambling away, mid-day, mid-week. I must admit, I've never been in a casino before this afternoon, so I am totally in the dark as to what the appeal is. Any of you here enjoy the games, the gambling, the atmosphere (at least it wasn't smoky!)? What's the draw, cuz I sure don't get it?