My dream house ....

ooh...that is a bad word in our house! [2008-11-20]
I have trouble dealing with the day-to-day rudeness of people out in public. I have too many urges and have to bite my tongue. I actually shop online for most of my stuff. I am one of those people that get irritated if my trip to the grocery store lasts more than 30 minutes, so I think it is best for everyone involved that I stay home on Black Friday.

67 Firebird is my dream car sm [2008-11-18]
Very similar to the Camaro. My dad had a 67 Firebird when I was younger and sold it when I was about 13 so my brother and I wouldn't be able to fight over it when we could drive. It got wrecked about 2 years later

No, it was his first time at our house. [2008-11-13]
No, it was his first time at our house.

That's every day at my house :) [2008-11-07]
...

A mother's dream! My children are young so (sm) [2008-10-29]
right now they say sweet things, well at least my 8 year old does...lol. I only dream that when they are your daughter's age they will think that highly of me :-) Congratulations!

Invite everyone to your house to celebrate [2008-10-28]
your first family Thanksgiving together. For Christmas, you could invite them over, OR tell them you have having your own Christmas together and then just stop by for a while at each. You don't have to eat at each place just because you go over.

have them to your house? or - [2008-10-27]
talk to all about it, best policy. bet they understand - haven't they been there? they all might settle for a drive by later for coffee and desert for t-giving...or some other type of compromise.

Replace the windows in your house. [2008-10-21]
If you have an old house, you probably have a ton of air escaping through your old windows. The initial cost will be a good chunk of cash, but it will be worth it from years of energy savings to come.

It would be easy in my house. He would tell me to never cut [2008-10-21]
NM

ha! i specifically DONT have chocolate in my house [2008-10-10]
because i am CONSTANTLY craving it!!! :)

We had new windows put in our house over the summer so [2008-10-10]
we now need to stain all of them. Ugh. We did not want vinyl inside, because our moulding and doors are all wood. This should be fun. Have to try to match the exisiting woodwork. At least I will be busy this winter.

I get to be the one who makes the rules in the house... [2008-10-09]
I hate following rules when I was younger...

Well, the only debt we have is our house... [2008-09-28]
so I would put it towards the principal on our mortgage.

woman as man of the house [2008-09-27]
We seem to have a lot of guys out there, with their ranks constantly expanding, whose only purpose in being in a relationship is to do as little as possible in exchange for a much as possible. Their sense of entitlement is huge - they expect the woman to be breadwinner or equal earner, cook and housekeeper, social secretary, financial guru, babysitter, the list goes on forever. In exchange they must be begged to do the simplest tasks like taking out the garbageor yardwork - often they just flat refuse to do anything at all and the woman ends up doing everything. The couch potato guys get their way and end up doing nothing but being a housepet or overgrown child, and eventually the woman realizes these guysare bringing nothing, and I mean nothing!, to the relationship but mess, hassle and arguments. She realizes she doesn These menengineer their own divorce, and deserve it,by refusing to be a partner in any sense of the word.

we are closing on a house next month and mortgage [2008-09-17]
need to come up with some cheap ideas too!! I have several baskets that i have collected over the years and plan on going to the Dollar Tree and getting girlie stuff and filling them up for around $5-10 each, depending on size. My family knows this year is going to be hard on us, so that helps!

Same here - closing on house end of next month [2008-09-17]
and these ideas are great. I did craft projects for Christmas last year and was a bit overwhelmed because I started to late, so this year I'll need to get started earlier. I love the family tree idea, as well. I may have to borrow that one. Thanks!

My little girl is never getting out of the house!...sm [2008-09-11]
I have a 13 yr daughter, 14 and 16 yr boys. I Already she goes to the movies with girlfriends and skating and things but I For 2 reasons. The main reason is that I remember myself at 16 and in no way, shape or form do I want her doing ANYTHING I did then! I I know she The number 2 reason is because of all the freaks that are out there these days. Yeah they were there when I was growing up but now a days you can On the other hand, I have some relief because her older brother is very protective and he watches her like a hawk. It Boys are afraid to go out with her because of him! lol. He He just wonhis little sister. His freinds are even protective of her. Not too mention her dad. He He He just lets them know from the git go not to be messin with her! And she has a step-dad who Poor thing. She Anyways, back to the curfew (sorry I got off the subject! lol). As of right now, her curfew at 16 is going to be 11 pm with exceptions depending on the situation. Things like school dances, football games, etc. structured events, she But things like going out with freinds just for the heck of it.....11 pm. Unless, of course, her brother is with her! It You can say they wonAnd I partied with all types of kids at that age. Thepopular kids,nerds, stoners, jocks, youname it. They all partied. (some of the best partieswere at the homes ofkids from the catholic school!)I'm not saying that I don't/won't trust her.....cuz I do but....I don't know....I just know how it is and I worry.

What's her reason for moving out of dad's house? [2008-08-07]
I think that is a big factor. Is this something she does from time to time because she doesn't like the rules or gets in an argument? Or do you think she just misses you and wants to spend time with you? Do you think she plans on getting her own place at 18, going away to college, or staying on for awhile? I think that matters too. If this is habitual or temporary, she can tough it out (as long as it's not an abusive situation). Life isn't easy as an adult and she will be finding that out very soon either way. You aren't a bad parent because you want her to be independent and not think everything is owed to her. The sooner she learns that, the better off she will be.

I honestly would not even go to her house (sm) [2008-08-04]
Why subject yourself and your children to her? If your husband wants to go over there, let him go alone. I would just avoid her. I would see her maybe on holidays and such since she raised you, but you really don't even owe her that. I grew up in a rough family...I see them twice a year. Right now I am upset at my mother for some mean things she said about my children last time I saw her. I have yet to mail her mother's day gift from this past May.

get out of the house and go for a walk [2008-07-28]
or a bike ride or a picnic. Sometimes I go outside and talk on the phone or watch my kids play. The point is to get out of the house and be outside.

How Clean is Your House, You are What You Eat, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares sm [2008-07-26]
I love BBC America! I also love Hell's Kitchen, Dr. G, Big Medicine, Little People Big World, Deadliest Catch, South Park, etc. I love Birth Day or any other birthing shows that aren't super happy-go-lucky shows. I need to turn the TV off!

Rules of Engagement, Big Bang Theory, House ... [2008-07-25]
The New Adventures of Old Christine, CSI Miami, Bones, Design Star, Biggest Loser.

Clean house [2008-07-21]
Almost forgot my other idea - to do as Neacy on Clean House and have the family sit down and make a list of the things that routinely get done around the house and assign tasks to each person.

Yummy!!!!! I'm coming to your house for dinner. I'll even bring my own plate. LOL. [2008-07-15]
nm

Just built a new house..... [2008-07-11]
a couple of years ago and my husband and I did several different things throughout the floors in the house. The living room is hardwood floor. It looks really nice but it does tend to show dust more than linoleum or tile would. Our kitchen is next to the living room and we tiled the kitchen. It doesn't look tacky next to each other. I would go for linoleum in the kitchen for several reasons actually. If you get water on the hardwood floor and it soaks in between the joints of the hardwood floor, it will swell and youwill start to get some creeks in the floor. I think linoleum would hold up really well with all the spills that happen in a kitchen. My husband and I actually went to a flooring place and looked at their back room of tile that was discontinued. Not only did we get really nice tile but we got it a heck of a lot cheaper because that tile was discontinued. I love our tile. We have it in the dining room, kitchen, foyer, and all the bathrooms. We have carpet in all the bedrooms and we have hardwood floor in the living room. The hardwood floor, however, will add more value to your home than linoleum and that same goes for tile.

I'm a virgin, help a first timer out .. [2008-11-21]
BLACK FRIDAY Shopper's!!!! Ive NEVER in my life shopped on Black Friday, it used to be of no interest, then it got interesting for awhile, but DH hated the idea and I dont shop without him unless I absolutely have to and/or dying to get out, and now the interest is back with DH on my side! So I am excited, or should I be frightened, is it a true mad house? I need some tips and info. Do you have any tips for a 1st Timer?? What time do you get at the store? Do you have to get a coupon or something to be allowed IN? If so, where do you get these coupons? What time do stores typically open? What times do they take the sale prices down, is it usually an all day thing, or an end at lunch type of thing? And most important of all. I am a fan of the old fashioned way..... newspaper ads to see who has what deal. Where do you get this? Does it come out THIS Weekend or on Thanksgiving Day?? Thanks so much!!!!

OMG!! SM [2008-11-21]
I live in South Mississippi and it is currently 44 degrees here. It is supposed to be 26 degrees tonight. If it was 17 degrees here I would not leave the house.

Here's my problem....sm [2008-11-21]
My dad is irresponsible and is in financial debt and doom. There is no way he can make the money to pay the bills he has accumulated. He has borrowed money he shouldnt have. Well the situation is... He has been knowing if he didn He refused to pay it. Every time he would get acheck he wouldn Well he kept not paying it for 2 months. Well yesterday they turned them out. It is freezing here. It is going to be in the 20s tonight. He said I don Well he was told and told to pay it and wouldn So now what does he do? As soon as he gets off work he comes to my house cause he don I can So I can He also said he had no money for food because he had to use it all for diesal for his dump truck. So I offered him food too. He also rumages through my cabinets for snacks. I feel like I am the parent and he is the child. My husband drives a big truck and he has been gone. When I tell him what is going on he gets aggravated because he is sitting at our house and all. He said he is a grown man and needs to step up and take care of himself but he is my dad and I can My husband will be home either late tonight or first thing in the morning and this is not going to go over too well with him. I am at a loss.

Now he is laying on my couch watching TV...sm [2008-11-21]
I have the night off and would love to lay on my couch and watch a movie. But I dont guess I will get to. Sad. I can't relax in my own house.

He is 60 years old...sm [2008-11-21]
And acts like he is 2. He doesnI am not his babysitter. He is a grown man and he needs to act like it. Social service doesn't need to help him. The man makes decent money. He just won't take responsibity to pay his bills and has too many at that. He needs to thin them out. For instance, he has 2 new model trucks. He does not need 2 trucks but he WANTS both of them. But a light bill is one of your most important bills. And I for a fact know he had the money to pay it and didn't. I even told him you better go pay that electric bill. He wouldn't. I have never seen anyone who was quite like him. I love my dad and don't want to hurt him but he is making things very hard for me right now. I can't babysit him anymore. He is more than welcome to come visit me as often as he wants. He can come by everyday if he wants. But then there is a time to leave and go home. I have a family and I know I wouldnt like it if my husbands dad did this. I would not be happy at all. I am not happy about my father doing it but what do you do? Tell him get out?

No I live in the boonies. In Nothingville. SM [2008-11-21]
I think he has had someone for so long and my mom took care of the bill paying and he never had to worry about bills or shopping or being alone. And now he can't deal with it. They divorced because he was cheating with another woman. I told him go be with her. I mean they are divorced now. If that is what he wants go get it. He said she has a 28 year old son and a 22 year old daughter with a baby who neither one work and lay around her house. He says how am I supposed to be with someone with that kind of mess. He said if I am with her I will basically have to take on her grown kids too. I said well that is her own fault she allows her grown children to be bums. It is just a dang mess. He got himself into it though. With his bills it is like he can't sit down and say hey I can't pay for 2 vehicles and I have to get rid of one and he has other multiple bills I won't even go into. But if he is struggling to pay for both let one go back. I told him go file bankruptcy if you are having really bad problems with finanes. He said I don't want to file bankruptcy. Oh no. I said well that or lose your stuff. I have tried to give him advice and help him but he won't listen. He is stubborn.

Thanks [2008-11-20]
Maybe I would feel better if I did take over the bills again. It can't add any more stress to me than I already have with the current situation. I thought him seeing it would bring reality but obviously it still hasn't and how much further do I want to go down this path to the big black hole. I guess we'll have to sit down and I'll have to do my wifely duty of giving him a pep talk and trying to relieve his stress and mine. He is just going to have to realize, whether he wants to or not, we do NOT have the money for xmas and all that if we want to have a xmas in our house. I just don't see any way around that one but I'll do my best to guide him to making the decisions about what to spend, etc. so he doesn't feel like I'm giving him an allowance or telling him no and we'll see how it goes from there. Thanks again, I appreciate your talk this morning.

I need some help here -- [2008-11-20]
I am so depressed... I don I just filed bankruptcy 2 years ago because of this job. My income changed so drastically that I lost everything. My car, my home, all of it.I just got things back on track earlier this year and now this crap has to start all over again. I do not foresee being able to make my rent payments on my new house that I just moved into, my cable will be turned off tonight at midnight for nonpayment, I have an old car now and everything keeps tearing up on it and I cannot afford to fix it, I just looked in my closet and I have no clothes to wear anymore, I have gained 50 pounds, I cry all the time, I am by myself all the time in this house, my family all live about 50 miles from me, so it is not affordable to drive there all the time, I have no friends, and as you can tell, I am seriously DEPRESSED!!! I don I have done everything. I have no life outside of my home anymore. I never go out, I never take trips, my 5 year old grandson just this weekend asked me why I did not buy him a birthday present for his birthday last month (no money) and Christmas is coming up, which of course will be more of the same since there is no money... Sorry to unload, just needed somewhere to go for a minute...

Sorry you are feeling so down (sm) [2008-11-20]
First of all, relax. You need to go to a doctor and get on an antidepressant? No insurance? If you can get the money to go to the doc for one visit, you can get them to prescribe an antidepressant that is on Walmart's $4 list and get it for $4 a month. Call United Way and see if they can direct you where to get help with your rent. Don't worry about whether or not you have cable, you'll be okay without that unless you need it for your job? Don't worry about not being able to give Christmas gifts...just explain that you don't have the money. People will understand and your grandson can have it explained to him. I have the same isolation issues that you do because of the job. Can you go to a temp agency and see about getting a job outside of your house so you can be around people more? There is a website called Exercisefriends.com where you can meet people in your area who want exercise buddies, maybe just someone who is starting out trying to walk every day or something like that (not sure what your fitness level is). Or advertise on Craigslist for a walking buddy (but be careful of course when first meeting the person). I met one of my best friends this way and have known her for 4 years now. If you want an email buddy feel free to email me. I think everyone is struggling right now and it is hard. I would be happy to have you vent to me via email all you want. :-)

make a call [2008-11-20]
Look in the phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous and call the central office. Tell them you need someone to make a 12-step call. Someone from your local area who is in AA will come over to your house and talk to your husband and you can leave with the kids during this time. By the time you get back, your husband will have decided whether or not he will sober up. Usually the person he talked to will assume responsibility for taking him to the meetings or finding someone who will sponsor him. So you are off the hook at this point. On the other hand, he may decide no thanks and then you will have your real answer. AA is free and pretty crowded with new people around the holidays, so the timing is good. The average age of a person coming into AA is 25 to 45, so there should be plenty of people for him to talk to. At the same meeting place there should be meetings for you called Al-Anon and for your son called Alateen. Good Luck!

I've been there [2008-11-20]
I have been in your shoes. Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm). That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I I canhow depressed III am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in. The poster above is right. You need to see a doctor. I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money. Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance. They will not refuse you. I found a clinic near my house that is part of a largehospital. I was able to see a doctor for a physicalandget my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge. They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again. They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month. Move closer to your family. You My family has been supportive of all the decisions I Spend time with yourgrandchild, kids can make you feel so much better.If you I did. I didn Forjust myselfI was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped outtremendously. I know it You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet. It may take a while, but you will make it. Good luck to you.

I agree with the posters below. [2008-11-20]
You need to move closer to family and see a doctor. You can also find the local social services department and they will provide free medications for 6 months. you will have to see one of their doctors but and fill out some paperwork but that's the only catch. Depression is higher around the holidays. The weather, finances, family, on top of every day stresses can be overwhelming. Being in this antisocial job doesn't help either. I have often thought of getting something a few days a week just to get out of the house. I think it would do anyone good. Know that things could always be worse and they will get better. Your grandson is young, he doesnwhere as this is a common occurrence in kids. I thought it was only my child but since have found many others are the same. Keep your head up and do what you can. It's ok to cry and vent to others. Don't keep it all bottled up inside. You will be surprised to find who your true friends and family are when you open up and really need them.

Anyone not putting up Christmas lights? [2008-11-20]
I usually make a big to-do out of having the house and yard lit up, but this year I don't think I'm going to. The few hours they are on a night sure packs a punch on the electric bill. How bout everyone else?

Same boat [2008-11-20]
I am in the same boat you are in. I will not be putting up Christmas lights either. I love decorating my house with Christmas lights, but not this year.

Although for different reasons, I'm putting mine up [2008-11-20]
later than usual. I usually have them up by Thanksgiving, but this year I think I We don I Our current house is a little small and the tree really clutters it up. We If I didn I love Christmas, but things are just too hectic and cluttered right now.

We eat out an average of 4 times a week... [2008-11-19]
linch and/or dinner. We usually spend about 20-30 for lunch and 30-50 for dinner. We vary our restaurants, donjust drenched in a different gravy or sauce. We used to like Olive Garden several years ago, but that is so non-Italian now it's not worth it, just your average pasta drenched in some too cheesy, fattening sauce. We have a great Japenese sushi/steak house near us, a great prime rib place, a vegetarian restaurant that I love.

YEAH baby!! Me too. sm [2008-11-18]
About 10 years ago I bought a Honda HX with prototype gas-efficient trannie, light wheels, no frills. That puppy would still be with me if not for the prototype trannie pretty much fizzled on most of the HXs but I milked mine for as long as possible. Ex had a Prelude, same year (99). He loved the car and took great care of it. Gas was killing him though (uses it to drive and travels a bit). He wanted to keep it in the family so he sold it to me. I drive about 5000 miles a year, if that. Amost 300,000 miles on that one and what a dream it is!!! He bought a new Civic. Another SWEET car. My son has a 1990 Accord, bought it used with less than 100,000 miles about 3 years ago. We've put some money into it, mostly cosmetic and just catching stuff up, but it runs like new. My Civic was actually built in US, so I didn't feel too guilty, but how many years have US automakers had to see the writing on the wall? I'm sorry, but I like keeping a car forever. No car payments are great. Honda fits that mold.

I hate spam [2008-11-17]
I was at a friend's house once. Her son was whining because he wasn't allowed to have dessert because he didn't eat his dinner. I asked him what they had for dinner. He said Spam, and I said I didn't blame him, I wouldn't eat it either. His mom got mad at me!

We get our tree (real) the week of Thanksgiving [2008-11-17]
My husband sometimes puts the decorations on the outside of the house earlier depending on the weather since we get a lot of snow where we live and he has to go up on the roof to decorate the upper part of the house. I can't wait. I love going out to cut down our tree.

My DH drives a Chevy Malibu Maxx... [2008-11-17]
I have a 2005 Buick LeSabre and we also have an older Ford Explorer that DH kept to use for hauling stuff..... I've never had anything but an American made car........... LOL, I'm not exactly a car salesperson's dream customer........ I keep my cars forever...... 1972 Plymouth Duster 1984 Buick Skyhawk 1996 Buick Century 2005 Buick Skyhawk.......... only 4 cars in over 30 years......

My first car was a 1967 red Camaro [2008-11-17]
now a classic, got up to 86,000 miles only replacing the water pump, then my husband wrecked it. I am still mad at him for that one. I now have a 1995 3/4 ton chevy truck, paid for, have 166,000 miles on it, been a very good vehicle - thank you all GM workers. It tows and pull horses like a dream, don't even know anything is back there. Hate cars now.

What a kind post..sm [2008-11-16]
I am a very caring person. I have an extreme soft spot for animals. Dogs especially. I have a stray that was apparently dropped off here, and he is a big dog. My husband said he is a Catahoula Kur dog. He is such a sweetheart, but he can aggravate you to death. He is bad about running in the house when you open the door, and he is so big I can't hardly get him out. I have had to literally drag him by his feet out the house. As annoying as that is I can't be mean to him. I feed him everyday and talk to him and pet him. I don't need another dog but I feel so bad for him. I feel like he needs a home and and someone to care for him. So I guess I am stuck with him. I don't have the heart to take him to the pound. I just can't do that. My husband loves dogs too but he says I am just ridiculous. He thinks I treat them like people. I just see it as they are living breathing animals and they feel. There are some people who say I wouldn't feed the dogs that belonged to the guy. I could NEVER let those dogs starve. That is the thing, I think the guy knows what a softie I am and he knows I will not let them do without and he takes advantage of it. This guy, by the way, is single and fully capable financially of feeding and caring for the dogs. He just is lazy and doesn't want to be bothered when he gets home from work. It isn't my place to care for his dogs but I can't let them starve either. I don't know. I am caught between a rock and a hard spot.

Don't know about "sweet" but dog is God spelled backward sm [2008-11-16]
I put up with a terrier mix (not a pit - just a mutt) who was hyper and ate everything, my house shingles, kitchen floor, rugs, etc., tried caging her and she bent the wires, scaled a 6 ft. fence or dug holes underneath to get out. We called her Hogan's Heroes. When she literally ate my whole couch one cold Christmas Eve with 20 people coming, I called the SPCA in tears and they said no one would take a dog like her, they would only bring her back and she'd be put to sleep. So I kept her over 16 years and she's buried in a pet cemetery nearby. I now have a 120 lb. Golden who had big paws when he was born and the last one left because he was going to be big, so I took him. People have dropped off dogs to me crying and I found homes for them. I understand how we can't turn away these beautiful animals others don't have the heart to understand. I would present your husbandbill for food, etc., but don I believe in good deeds being rewarded. It takes time but good only leads to good things coming back at you. I doesn't seem that way right now and times are tough, but hopefully you will be rewarded in other ways.

Great dogs at shelters [2008-11-15]
There are so many wonderful dogs at shelters. I always say, the only bad thing about a shelter dog is its previous owner! There are lots of mixed breeds but plenty of purebred dogs, too. Shelters are overflowing these days (more than usual) because of the number of people who are losing their homes. I've heard stories of people moving out of their foreclosed house & just leaving the dogs behind...terrible. Especially for older dogs, who are so hard to find homes for.

Blondie, have read your posts before sm.. [2008-11-15]
You sound like a very good person, very caring. I was in the same situation once with a neighbor's dog. He would go to Canada hunting and just leave his dog tied to a dog house in mid-winter in New England and I would take her into my home, feed her, keep her warm and all. This neighbor today I can say with full confidence was borderline-retarded without a doubt. I am so glad I did this. I even at one time went to the dog pound and claimed this dog who had gotten loose and said it was my own. I could not let this poor dog suffer because of its owner. All I can say is do what is in your heart, it may cost you a few dollars more but think of it is abandoned children and you are there for them. Take a good look at this guy and truly ask yourself is he is capable of the love and caring you have in your heart. I know times are tough, but perhaps you are the one who is meant to save these poor animals. Sounds like this guy is either not the sharpest tool in the shed or something else wrong with him. Does he have enough money for beer or etc., and not his dogs? Then he doesn't deserve them! Think hard about the dogs and what would happen to them if it were not for you. You are a very nice person. I hope you find an answer. As for your husband, only you can answer that question. I think he should at least stick up for you and address his dumb friend as to what his responsibility is in the situation. Good luck, Blondie, you are a sweetheart to put up with all this, and I am sure the dogs are in a better place with you. Do you have an SPCA or someone who could help with the food? Perhaps online you can find a way to make your own food suitable for dogs at a reasonable price. May God be with you. Perhaps you are meant to care for dogs in some way that would be beneficial to you in other ways. God bless you for caring.