My husband told me I sound like a you know what when I yell. . sm

we're s'posed to believe this new guy is her husband? [2008-11-21]
i set the DVR, won is the season ending, getting all these new players? i hope they make it believable...

This may sound a little weird [2008-11-21]
But I live in a really big city and I would put him in a retirement complex. That is a really good place for people with lots of money who don't feel like cooking for themselves or being alone. I hope you live in a big city too. Good Luck!

I watched that one with my husband [2008-11-21]
We couldn't stop laughing the whole show!! Now THAT's entertainment!

My husband is oblivious to our finances [2008-11-20]
Sometimes that It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can I I would suggest talking to the leader of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don It doesn I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn I For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand. As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.

My husband can't say no to people either...sm [2008-11-20]
Unless he gets mad about something. We don't really work it out. I am usually just stuck as you say being the bad guy or give in. Find comfort in the fact that you aren't the only one who struggles with bills. I bought my son a Playstation 3 for X-mas this year for $400 but the only way I was able to do that was to put back money all year and hide it. It seems just typical man, most anyway, that you tell them and tell them but they don't pay you any mind or they don't want to hear it. Just sit him down and talk and tell him it isnno. Throw in some tears, which shouldn't be hard to do, for more effect. Maybe he will feel bad.

In Montana and just me and husband spend $400 a month..nm [2008-11-18]
nm

I agree with your husband. [2008-11-16]
Women don't do that to each other. The ones that do aren't worth knowing.

I agree with your new husband (sm) [2008-11-16]
When she lied to you in the beginning, that said it all. Especially to go so far as to not be able to believe you would accuse her of something like that. I would have to cut my losses and count myself as having one less friend. She stopped being your friend the day she chose to secretly see your husband.

It doesn't sound dumb... [2008-11-16]
...at all. I miss my Noni girl every single day. She was the light of my life, my soulmate who happened to be a different species. I have gotten 2 new dogs, but my heart will never feel the same.

Why when I am watching the kids is it a given and when my husband watches them he is (sm) [2008-11-03]
babysitting?

My husband had a kidney stone [2008-11-03]
and as the doctor was explaining to me what they found and where it was and what they would do I made a comment that I understand completely and then asked a question. I donoh, do you have medical experience? and I told him that I was an MT who transcribes acute care. The doctor then laughed and said that by the looks of his reports that come back that he didn't think MTs had any medical experience and were just typing. Yes, irritated me as well. I dont' know why people think we don't understand what we transcribe. Understanding is a huge part of the job.

Um..it was my ex-husband's story, not mine. I just retold it. [2008-11-02]
x

You sound like you share my feelings for [2008-11-01]
all these wondeful creatures. Please know I said Monster in the most loving way!!! We laugh at her constantly when she manipulates and tells us what she wants! She is bound to get it, too. If we give her something and she doesn She sings because I sing to her a lot and that is just adorable. She actually puts the vibration in her voice! Youare so right on about the emotions of animals. They have needs and wants, and need to be loved and have companionship. I think many times over about her future. I wish I knew you and could work with you in caring for birds. I think they so very special. Keep up what you are doing. You are really making a difference.

Okay, these turtles sound so cool! [2008-10-31]
Do their tanks get dirty often? A pain to clean? We had fish a few years ago and it was a pain in the rear for me, not so much the 10yo. Ireplace her.

Owned a coffee shop and told by experts not to sm [2008-10-22]
freeze or refrigerate beans as it takes moisture out and does something to the oils. Only buy what you need and only grind what you need right before you use it. I was surprised too!

Hmm, sounds like my ex-husband. [2008-10-21]
NN

My husband work midnights until recently. [2008-10-21]
He would get home at 8 a.m. By then, I had been up and working for a few hours and was ready for a small break. We would talk while I ate breakfast. He would go to bed and I would continue with work. By the time, he got up around 4 or 5 p.m., I would be done working. We were able to spend time with the kids together and have dinner together before he went to work again. He has been on night shift at different times during our marriage, the last time for 4 years. We've never had any problems as far as my working. I just adjust my work time accordingly. If your husband is sleeping days and your kids are in school, what type of problem are you having getting work done?

When my husband started nights [2008-10-21]
It was his decision to switch to nights and I told him if he did he had to go to bed when he got home and be up when the kids got home from school. Some nights he might take a short nap before he leaves (by short I mean an hour) but that was the compromise we made.

Midnight shift husband for 18 years now......sm [2008-10-21]
It will get better....eventually. It took about 8 years for my hubby to realize I can't work midnights like him because we have two kids to raise. Believe me, it is very difficult at times, but it does get better. It might help if you have a calendar in full view for him to look at, so he knows what type of schedule you are on regarding work, kids activities, etc. Once he sees it in writing and realizes all the pressure that is on you, he may begin to understand. Believe me, night shift is not easy for the marriage. It takes great patience and understanding of both parties for it to succeed! I sleep with my golden retriever at night now!

First, kudos to your husband...sm [2008-10-20]
He wants to be there for you. Definitely tell him you would prefer he not go, but perhaps he could treat you to dinner out sometime afterwards. BTW, you are not abnormal--unless I am, too. I prefer going for exams/tests on my own. In fact, most of the time I do not tell people about them until after the fact. Hope everything turns out well for you.

Well, they are fun....my husband made a bunch of them (sm) [2008-10-14]
out of PVC pipes for my son's boy scout troop...they loved them. But then they were told by a ranger that they couldn't do it because of the mess they left behind. We had thought that out in the woods the animals and bugs could eat them but they didn't like the idea because it might attract wildlife near the camp sites. I think I would just ask the parents before getting them. They are a lot of fun though, and if they have a natural area where they can use them I don't see an issue.

My husband says it is because of fuel prices...sm [2008-10-13]
The stores have to pay so much to have the food delivered because it costs the trucks so much in fuel. My husband drives an 18 wheeler and you would not believe what it costs to deliver those loads. He doesn't haul food. But the fuel price for what he hauls is insane. It cost about $6000 just in fuel to haul some chemicals in a tanker to Montana from Mississippi. That is not counting what the owner of the truck has to pay the driver for taking the load up there. So you can kind of get an idea now why the food is going up like it is.

You and my husband and me both...sm [2008-10-11]
My husband will get irate if someone is riding in the left lane and doesn't get over. It bugs me too but I don't get irate. He gets absolutely furious.

Husband [2008-10-07]
He is having an affair, been there. Sorry, I only found about mine after the fact.

I have been told that once a dog sm [2008-10-07]
tastes blood the urge will never stop. I have no idea if this is true, but it seems to make sense in some cases.

Well he finally left....sm [2008-11-22]
He asked when my husband would be home and I said tonight and he left. He is staying somewhere else. He is getting an apartment next week 30 miles away from here he said so I am glad. I hate to say it but I am tired of babysitting. I got to where when he comes and won't leave I just stay in my office.

Need help with opposite problem sm [2008-11-22]
I have chestnut brown hair with blonde highlights which is getting too expensive to keep up. Stylist was charging over $100 and I told her thanks but I would have to start going to Super Cuts or someplace cheaper although I did appreciate her beautiful work. Well, she came down, then went back up again to $85 and that's too much. I have never ever colored myself and she said she had to start coloring my whole head with the brown, used to just highlight with both colors. I hate to lose the highlights as they make me look and feel better than just the drab brown. I see products that say highlight but if I have a brown base, how do you get both colors to come out??? Kinda lacking in knowledge of hair, perhaps someone else does this. TIA

Boobage - SM [2008-11-21]
I feel ya, girlfriend...I wear a 32DD and the choices are so limited. Believe it or not, ICurvation. I bought a couple of them when they were on sale because they were really cute (black with pink ribbon trim and leopard print demi-cup with pink ribbon trim), but didn't really expect much from them and figured they'd just look nice. Imagine my surprise when not only did they look great, they actually provided support, lol!!! I found that the demi-cup is actually even MORE supportive than the full cup style, which I hadn't expected. Have fun and show those girls off to full advantage :-)

Birthdays with holidays. [2008-11-21]
Sometimes I like that the birthdays are around the holidays because then I can buy extra stuff and look at it all and decide how to split it up between the 2. Other times, like this year, we don't have much $ so I would really prefer them to be separated more but can choose that one! My husband normally leaves the lights on all night. Turn on when he gets home from work and off in the morning...not this year. I think its reasonable to just do a few hours each evening. I don't think we'll put up as many as we normally do either. Usually we line all the windows, roof, bushes, etc. Probably keep it simple this year.

I would have divorced a long time ago....sm [2008-11-21]
when my husband had a drug problem. I didn't because my son told me he would not come with me but that he would choose to stay with his dad. He was around 7 years old at the time. I couldn't leave my son. So I didn't leave. He is so close to his daddy. He would pick his dad drugs and all over me any day of the week and that hurt me very bad because I have always been a good mom. So I stayed. I guess God helped me though because my husband quit using drugs miraculously later and we are doing pretty good now.

Divorce [2008-11-21]
I divorced my first husband when my children were 1 and 3. He was a crack addict. It wasn't easy but it was the right decision for me. I would definitely suggest going to Al-Anon. I didn't make it there until quite a few after my divorce, but it helped me a great deal. Best of luck with your decision. Shelly

Something to definitely consider. [2008-11-21]
I would skip putting lights up but that is usually my husband's domain. I'm sure he will want to do as usual for the kids but we will definitely have them on a timer so they only run while it's dark and the kids are awake so just a few hours a night probably. I'm not even going to mention it yet and hope he procrastinates to the week before Christmas.

Also, if there is a really popular item you want...sm [2008-11-21]
you could map out the store. Saw this on the news once where a lady and her husband drew out a map and each aimed for a specific department/item. It was pretty comical, but efficient when you think about it. As for opening times, the ads will let you know. Anyway, good luck!

Northeast Atlanta is around 1.79, but [2008-11-21]
my husband saw it for 1.69 at one store yesterday.

Here's my problem....sm [2008-11-21]
My dad is irresponsible and is in financial debt and doom. There is no way he can make the money to pay the bills he has accumulated. He has borrowed money he shouldnt have. Well the situation is... He has been knowing if he didn He refused to pay it. Every time he would get acheck he wouldn Well he kept not paying it for 2 months. Well yesterday they turned them out. It is freezing here. It is going to be in the 20s tonight. He said I don Well he was told and told to pay it and wouldn So now what does he do? As soon as he gets off work he comes to my house cause he don I can So I can He also said he had no money for food because he had to use it all for diesal for his dump truck. So I offered him food too. He also rumages through my cabinets for snacks. I feel like I am the parent and he is the child. My husband drives a big truck and he has been gone. When I tell him what is going on he gets aggravated because he is sitting at our house and all. He said he is a grown man and needs to step up and take care of himself but he is my dad and I can My husband will be home either late tonight or first thing in the morning and this is not going to go over too well with him. I am at a loss.

He is 60 years old...sm [2008-11-21]
And acts like he is 2. He doesnI am not his babysitter. He is a grown man and he needs to act like it. Social service doesn't need to help him. The man makes decent money. He just won't take responsibity to pay his bills and has too many at that. He needs to thin them out. For instance, he has 2 new model trucks. He does not need 2 trucks but he WANTS both of them. But a light bill is one of your most important bills. And I for a fact know he had the money to pay it and didn't. I even told him you better go pay that electric bill. He wouldn't. I have never seen anyone who was quite like him. I love my dad and don't want to hurt him but he is making things very hard for me right now. I can't babysit him anymore. He is more than welcome to come visit me as often as he wants. He can come by everyday if he wants. But then there is a time to leave and go home. I have a family and I know I wouldnt like it if my husbands dad did this. I would not be happy at all. I am not happy about my father doing it but what do you do? Tell him get out?

Lolabug...lol...sm [2008-11-21]
Well Lola kinds of sounds like my first name and my husband used to call me (sorry this is really sappy)...butterfly...so I came up with bug out of that. Everybody's stories behind their names are pretty interesting!!!

No I live in the boonies. In Nothingville. SM [2008-11-21]
I think he has had someone for so long and my mom took care of the bill paying and he never had to worry about bills or shopping or being alone. And now he can't deal with it. They divorced because he was cheating with another woman. I told him go be with her. I mean they are divorced now. If that is what he wants go get it. He said she has a 28 year old son and a 22 year old daughter with a baby who neither one work and lay around her house. He says how am I supposed to be with someone with that kind of mess. He said if I am with her I will basically have to take on her grown kids too. I said well that is her own fault she allows her grown children to be bums. It is just a dang mess. He got himself into it though. With his bills it is like he can't sit down and say hey I can't pay for 2 vehicles and I have to get rid of one and he has other multiple bills I won't even go into. But if he is struggling to pay for both let one go back. I told him go file bankruptcy if you are having really bad problems with finanes. He said I don't want to file bankruptcy. Oh no. I said well that or lose your stuff. I have tried to give him advice and help him but he won't listen. He is stubborn.

Ewwwwwww!!!! [2008-11-21]
I couldn't watch past the first minute when she told her daughter no monkey business. That is just wrong.

I only have one child, a son..sm [2008-11-20]
so that helps. I usually spend about $300 on my son, but this year I have spent $400 already on a playstation 3 he has wanted ever since they came out last year. I can't just give him that so I have to buy him some other little things to open. My mom and mother-in-law and sister-in-law are going to buy playstation 3 games because after spending $400 on it I can't buy the games too, which are about $60 each. So I still have to buy some small things for him so I will probably spend about $500 on my son this year. The most I have ever spent on him and he is 10. Like I said it is usually no more than $300. I try to spend no more than $100 on my husband, but this year I know he has said how he would love to have an ipod. So I am going to buy one for about $150. I have my dad to buy for and mom. I know I will probably spend about $50 on my mom. My dad I am not sure yet. In-laws are usually about $20-25 each. My sister about $25. My brother in law about $20. My 2 nephews about $20 each. I also have a niece I will spend about $20-30 on. I try to spend a little more on my niece because my sister in law spends a lot on my son. So you see I have a lot of people to buy for. I don't even know how much that is all together but it ain't cheap. And the people I buy for I have to cause they do for us.

It works! [2008-11-20]
When mine were smaller they had more fun unwrapping and playing with the boxes. They are all between 12 and 17 now. I told them to count their blessings if they get Christmas dinner this year let alone presents. This year kinda stinks, but I am sure they will get a few things they each want. I always figure it out.

Christmas Club...sm [2008-11-20]
I have three grown kids (includes 1 in-law) and I have money taken out of my paycheck through the year and whatever the amount is when I get the check, I divide that by 3 and that is how much I spend on the kids. It I put back through the year from my OT and get my husband something nice and then I just pick up a few inexpensive things along the way for a couple of other people I like to give a little something to. I don't think anybody really cares how much I spend on them, but I do try my best to be equal in what I spend on the kids, even at their ages now!

Do any of you have a spouse [2008-11-20]
who can How do you work it out? Are you just stuck always being the bad guy? Unfortunately, the entire United States is having a difficult financial time. It is obviously not just our household. We have cut back everywhere we can, and I mean everywhere. Our families are having difficult problems as well. We also have an ex-spouse and have had unexpected increases in child support, etc. recently along with unexpected additional expenses where this is concerned. Basically, the child needs new glasses, etc. even though the child really doesn It just seems like it is one thing after another and I know it is for everyone, although the circumstances may be slightly different. My problem is that I have been telling my husband for months that this was coming, along with Christmas, birthday, etc. He hasn Although we have cut back on many things, on my initiative, it just has not sunk in for him until now...when everything finalized and we dont To top this off, he can Ibad guy because he is ok with all of it although he admits he has no idea where the money is going to come from. I have been upfront with my family and when people ask me but is it too much to ask that he do the same? I dont But of course he wants to constantly remind me (the cheap skate and tight-a$$) to cut back on groceries, etc. which I cannot possibly do any more than I have already. We have nothing left in savings. We have no Christmas fund. I I donI told you so but I did tell him and he had no concerns until now...when we are seemingly headed towards financial trouble. I have been working OT but his OT has been cut indefinitely from his employer. I I must say he doesn't buy things for himself..its just the piddling away of $20 here and $20 there on top of our already mounting unexpected expenses.

For my fellow Black Friday shoppers, a little tip [2008-11-20]
Don I know they may seem like a great deal, but usually those items are only $20 to $50 less than they normally would be. The aggravation of trying to get it isn I generally go for the smaller deals -- like the cool PJs on sale and the board games or DVDs on sale. These are great sales. One year, I got 3 Fisher Price/Hasbro games for my 5-year-old for $3 each. DVDs were only $5 each. There were3-piece fleece PJs for $9. These are best deals in my opinion. I Then I spent the next month trying to find one anywhere for my kid for Christmas. I go out early on Black Friday for the excitement and some bargains, but never the big ticket stuff. I have that bought before then and stored away safe and sound. To me, it's like tailgating -- the thing that gets me into the spirit of the season!

My husband is oblivious to our finances [2008-11-20]
Sometimes that It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can I I would suggest talking to the leader of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don It doesn I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn I For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand. As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.

there is a parallel universe! [2008-11-20]
Depressed is the right word for what he feels, so you can shut your mouth right now. This is all about guilt. I am a step-mom too and I swear you are telling my story down to the glasses! I would love to tell you that you are in this together and partners, etc., but the truth is my husband did not come around until he got a good job, a really good job that had status and paid a lot of money, and he had to do that all on his own. I let him buy expensive clothes, because for some reason, every time he got a raise it co-incided with buying a nicer suit or tie, so you can help him there. All the nightmarish gift exchanges, arguments about buying lotto tickets, not eating out, step-kids, all the horrific details and arguments just came down to him deciding to step up. Then it all just went away, the depression, the lotto tickets, and the give away the farm stuff too. Good luck to you! Don't give up on him!

I don't think I understand [2008-11-20]
so just let him do whatever, support his decisions, and hope for the best? He has a good job it is just that so much of it is eaten by the attorneys, support, transportation, and crazy things the ex dreams up that the child must have and we are told we just have to pay it. It costs more than what I make to cover the mandatory expenses of my step-child. I gave up our finances about a year ago to give him a taste of what it was like. Stupidly thinking this would help. Obviously it hasn't but has made things worse. I always reassure him and tell him we will get through it, etc. but when he asks me to make a decision I tell him honestly. Recently asking if I mind if his teenage nephews come stay for the weekend I ask where is the extra money going to come from to feed them and get them to/from work as its an hour round trip. I offer maybe just one night instead of the entire weekend. Automatically thatthey asked for the weekend. He says he doesn't know where the money will come from and he won't ask the his brother either and asks me to call and tell them no. Of course when I refuse I can tell he gets upset although he won't say it. We don't argue about stuff its just more of one of us getting pi$$ed off until it blows over and then starting again the following week when another circumstance comes up. Honestly, I'm just getting tired of putting up. It has been nearly 10 years now but only 4 since our finances went together. We are also expecting a child, which we could afford before the last 6 months came crashing down on us. Of course this is part of my anxiety over finances but being a man and his usual self he wants to live in la-la land until we don't have money to buy diapers. I'm just so frustrated. Thanks for listening and letting me know that there is hope things will change. Atleast I know when the step-child becomes an adult it will be like winning the lottery!

congratulations [2008-11-20]
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Again, I have to tell you we have so much in common! It was the birth of my daughter that inspired my husband to be his better self. Oh, and the step-kids growing up....... that is a whole other thing and they still cost you money, but at least the lawyers are out of it by then! Congrats again! YOU hang in there!

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.

I think about it a lot but different situation (sm) [2008-11-20]
My two children are almost the exact ages of yours. My husband doesn't have the drinking issue but has plenty of personality issues. I think you absolutely should leave, no ifs, ands or buts. I just think being in that environment is awful for your kids, he is saying it is not going to work anyway and talking about ending the marriage. I say if he doesn't change then yes, go, without a doubt.