OMG that looks horrible

this is horrible [2008-11-19]
He wants to (literally) have his cake & eat it too? He wants to eat the same amount but spend less, & the way he will go about this is to starve you? Outrageous. Borders on, if not spills over into, abusive. All you are doing by going along with this is proving that his plan works. For heaven's sake, don't enable his creepy behavior by quitting eating! You eat what you need to eat, & the first time he can't have seconds he will know the plan is unworkable.

this is horrible p.s. [2008-11-19]
If you don't stand up for yourself (and your kids) you will end up with a son who treats his wife the way your husband treats you and a daughter who feels it is okay to be starved by her husband. I get that you have creditors, but you are a family. You can't have some members paying the price and others not. Either everyone eats a little less or no one does & you find a different way to deal with the situation. Food is not a luxury.

This is HORRIBLE! [2008-06-30]
You need to get as far away as possible. You have a computer, so how about emailing your local Domestic Abuse hotline and see what they can do. Perhaps you shouldbcc to your sister all emails regarding your home situation. Also send her any replies that you receive.YOU DO NOT WANT HIM TO READ ANY EMAILS REGARDING YOUR FEARS AND WANTS!!Maybe your area has an underground process to move you and the kids to a safe place.....hundreds ofmiles away. Everyone...don't assume that she is not telling the truth. Stress can cause one to forget dates, exaggerate, or even make up something. I would rather see that she goes into a shelter and not a grave!

That's horrible. OP--Don't follow this poster's example. [2008-05-07]
A letter like this is probably the most inappropriate way to have dealt with the situation other than beating the kids up yourself. I'm going to assume this letter was also sent anonymously. Awful, awful, awful.

OMG that looks horrible [2008-03-07]
Sorry took awhile to reply to this message. I looked at pics of hordeolum and its not that - thank goodness...those look so painful and awful. Another post said chalazion and it looks more like that, though some pics donan eye on this. - How's that for humor. HA HA

I DIDN'T VOTE FOR BUSH. he is a horrible prez [2008-02-20]
anybody that puts their religion into their campaign that much is bound to try to force their views on us once in office. I don't think ANYBODY of any religion should do that. I hate to say it, but McCain has done his campainging very well, very tactful.

I think that is horrible advice. She should let herself [2008-02-15]
feel degraded (maybe) because she could run the risk of losing him to another woman? Wow.

God, that is horrible as well. They should let someone 100 times her size stomp her and choke her. [2008-01-10]
.

I agree - the switching idea is HORRIBLE. When I was a child the kids who got switched [2007-12-19]
x

I completely understand. I live in East Tx and it can be horrible sm [2007-12-11]
especially more so if you don't fight for your kids. Not saying kids are always right but you have to protect them from the idiots they tend to hire as principals.

it sounds horrible, but [2007-12-08]
in truth, it wasn't something to be totally humiliated by. I did something wrong, I knew the policy, I expected the outcome. I knew my mom was tougher than most. Actually, the guy didn't hit as hard as SHE did, so I gladly suffered his paddling. When she complained she was getting in trouble on her job for having to come watch me get paddled, I told her to stay at work next time. Boy, that steamed her! LOL! She became a teacher and got a paddle with pinholes drilled into it and kept it at home over the summers. I joined the swim team and stayed at the pool every day in the summer after that! When my kids were in elementary school, we were asked to sign a form to allow paddling, and they also included that there would always be a witness so no one could accuse them of abuse. They left the option of the parent(s) being the witness to each family or choosing a teacher instead. I'd rather hold the paddler responsible by my witnessing it not know exactly what type of punishment was being given. Some people hit harder than others, some kids are more sensitive. Neither of my kids got paddled, but I knew the procedure and assigned myself as the witness.

Still seems horrible, especially when you describe [2007-12-08]
a paddle with holes?! What's the point of that other to completely scare a child? With a piece of wood? I don't understand. I'm so sorry you went through that. It seems totally unfair and, well, abusive. I hope you didn't suffer permanent damage, even damage you don't know about. Are you scared of authority figures, or of men? Or of someone coming at you with something in their hands? I'm not being funny, I'm completely serious.

How horrible. The cowards always kill themselves [2007-12-05]
It infuriates me. Why don He didn So cowardly. I will be praying for the victims and their friends and family. I would bet money that the NRA will be having one of their rallies in Omaha in no time - they I can It's sickening.

How horrible. My family and I are so close. [2007-11-10]
I cannot imagine even using such terms about my family.

i am guesting and will probably make an apple pie since my poor sister makes HORRIBLE pie crusts. LO [2007-11-02]
nm.

OMG. How horrible. [2007-10-23]
My heart would have been pounding a mile a minute. Yes, I would have worried about the reaction, but I probably would have said something for the sake of the children. If they both went off and things got ugly then I would have had the cops come. You were in a public place so that would have helped a bit. He was WRONG TOTALLY. Your mom and sister saw everything and I would have kept at him if he went off. Cell phones with cameras are great to have in these kinds of situations. Again, how awful. Those poor kids. I am sure that was not the first time he hit them either. Especially in a public. YIKES.

California Fires, so horrible. On FOX [2007-10-23]
they were just showing a San Diego reporter reporting onwatching his home burning. He had lived there for 25 years. So sad.

What a horrible position to be in..sm [2007-09-15]
There are some really good groups on MSN where you can go and talk to people in similar positions. There are boards specifically for people with family members with drug addictions. I would also suggest that you get some counseling for yourself to help you with the guilt that you feel.

I know! I had horrible symptoms (sm) [2007-08-25]
And kept being told it might just be depression - I finally took the *touch in their lives - I had two children who hugged me all day and my husband and I were very active.

How horrible [2007-08-22]
Misha, I'm so sorry to hear about this. Good thoughts go out to CJ. Keep us posted.

Oh "Me" that is just horrible! :-( [2007-08-19]
What an awful thing to be going through. I have absolutely no advice at all here but, man, it I take things way too HARD and can't just let them slide like other fortunate souls can, so I can certainly relate to how you must be feeling. You hang in there...this too shall pass.

P.S. We were not registed either--- how horrible is that - nm [2007-08-01]
x

Did I mention he's a horrible person? [2007-07-30]
Just wanted to make that point clear. Re: I He's lucky if you don't remove the source of all men's pride and joy, like Mrs. Bobbitt did. Grrrrr.

Would I be a horrible person if [2007-07-26]
I got my cats declawed? I'm totally against declawing, but my husband is REALLY mad and says either we get them declawed or they have to go. We just got brand new furniture and they have the arm of the sofa snagged up already, luckily it is the piece that is being replaced cause the delivery people broke a board on it bringing it into the house. I don't know what to do, I would never get rid of my cats for doing something that is in their nature. I already have scratching pads and a post and put the catnip on it. They must just have more fun scratching the furniture. Any ideas, suggestions?

No, you wouldn't be a horrible person [2007-07-26]
We have 2 indoor cats and they have both been declawed and they are fine. Wish I had done it with the last cat I had as she ruined a very expensive chair and once she found it, you couldn't keep her away from it, no matter what we tried.

I think you are right. [2008-11-20]
I have had most of the day to think things over and cry. I did talk to him a bit and realize that it is mostly his pride (man-ness) that is the problem. I just have to stand my ground and not feel guilty for it, although I will anyway...I think that is just the female (or pregnant hormonal lol) way with feelings, etc. I have also been thinking today that even though things are getting really tough, we have been able to pay our bills so far. It's really going to suck with the holidays especially but it will be past in a couple months and life will resume as normal. Who knows where we will be by then but for now things could be much worse. Even with all the headaches, stress, tears, etc. it could be much worse if we lost a job or...well I don't even want to think about the other horrible things that people go through. Thanks for your support and understanding. Some times women just need to know that they aren't alone in their struggles.

I am so sorry! [2008-11-17]
That sounds like a horrible disease. Is there any treatment? Do you know what causes it? I hope you get better!

Too bad more people do not do this - [2008-11-16]
I think this shows how much you have grown up and how caring you are. I think this will bring the other person closure as we all need that when we are hurt. I had my heart broken 10 years ago and not a day goes by where I think what did I do wrong to be treated so horrible. I don't dwell as much but I wonder how people can be so cruel. I commend you and hopefully, this will bring closure for you too.

Yes, God bless Fred, and God Bless you in your kindness and love...sm [2008-11-16]
We had to put two of our pets, to gorgeous cats that had been our babies for 16+ years, in much the same story, they had gotten to the point where they were suffering and would suffer more. Horrible, heartbreaking decision, hurts like heck, but I do believe there have to be darling pets in Heaven, I cannot imagine how it would be heaven without them, they are so precious and give us so much love and happiness! So sorry for your loss!

I'm so sorry for you pain... [2008-11-14]
My dad drank a lot too. I donan alcoholic though. My dad was a horrible father when all five of the kids were at home. He beat my oldest brother horrendously in front of all of us many, many times. He lined us all up by age when I was 5 (I There is a long list of other things that happened. Once we moved out of the house, he turned into a different man. He did apologize to us. He became the best father and friend I could ask for. He was always so thrilled when I stopped by and made me feel more loved than anyone ever has. Fourteen years ago yesterday, my dad was killed in an airplane crash. He had an experiemental airplane and was flying by himself. I have never forgotten my childhood because it has a lot to do with who I am today, but I am so thankful for the time I did have with him once things changed. Maybe you could tell your dad how you feel about him, explain how hard it is to be around him now and let him take the next step. It might beworth a shot. I I know it is really difficult to sort out all the emotions sometimes. I'll be thinking of you.

One thing I forgot to add was that - sm [2008-11-11]
a big part of the problem is owners who don't neuter their male dogs. Most of the attacks on the news in my area seem to involve un-altered males. The dog that had me cornered was also an un-altered male. There was a really horrible attack in San Francisco a couple years ago... a 12-year-old boy was killed in his own home by the family's pet pitbulls. (Un-altered males). Apparently there was already a problem with them, and the mother knew the dogs couldn't be trusted with her son (who was afraid of them) home alone. A female she had was in heat at the time, too. The boy was home alone, and the mother had locked the dogs in another room. Somehow, they got out, and tore the poor boy to shreds. Imagine being the mom and coming home to that! When animal control picked up the dogs, they had the boy's blood all over them. I actually recognized one of them - had seen someone walking it through the park one day. So the problem was... even though the mother knew the dogs might be dangerous, and she tried to do the right thing by locking them up, on that particular day, that wasn't enough. Granted, they don't all act like that. Plus just about any breed can revert to a predatory pack mentality under the right conditions. But again, irresponsible breeding has changed the breed in large part for the worse (they're bigger and more aggressive). Unresponsible owners who don't properly socialize the dogs (or who fight them, or encourage them to be aggressive for 'protection') are the worst offenders. And those who are backyard breeders. Now there are 'way too many of them, and 'way too many with the bad bloodlines, too. And you won't believe THIS: Remember the story about the huge Presa Canario dogs that killed a woman in a San Francisco apartment hallway? (Earning their owners some well-deserved jail-time). Well, some people are actually crossing pits and Presas! Saw some for sale the other day on Craigslist. Talk about breeding 'biting machines'! Those things will grow up to be 150-lb. pitbulls-on-steroids.

Perhaps did not explain sm [2008-11-11]
We have youth programs where a member of the department will come and talk tokids about the dangers of the internet. You know they never listen to parents, and you donbeing directed there.Perhaps some don't know the horrible crimes that come out of youths being lured by porn and the sooner it's dealt with, the better. I don't mean to have the police come in uniform with sirens and lights blaring. There are simple solutions to this problem and I am all for putting away these slime balls, some of them are judges, ministers, etc., so-called trustworthy people hurting our youths. Perhaps I misspoke but you may have read more into it. It's a common problem we all share and it could end up with a dead or kidnapped kid. I'd rather get tough early and save a life. Overreacted, maybe! I would never roll on the floor laughing about it but then again, we're all different.

Re-gifting keeps me from going broke [2008-11-10]
I would throw away any food that I had reservations about, but I look at it as a challenge sometimesto find those horriblegifts a good home :) To me there really isn Look at it this way - if it makes you happy making a friend/relative happy by giving them the gift, then it has given you something.to be thankful for, albeit in a roundabout way.

I don't have a pitbull personally [2008-11-08]
But I do know that they can be well-tempered. A lot of the time, the problem is having more than one. Dogs have a pack mentality and if one decides to bite, it sets the others off and they tend to join in and things escalate. That is such a terrible, sad story. What a horrible way to go.

dental procedure: root planing [2008-11-06]
dentist says i need this because of moderate periodontal disease. $200 a quadrant x4 = $800 for what sounds like a horrible, bloody procedure. they say they only do two quadrants at a time. does anyone know anything about this, had it done? please let me know what to expect.... thanxabuncha

So sorry - this is a tough one [2008-11-01]
I REALLY feel badly for you. This has got to be absolutely horrible for you to deal with, as there is not much that can be done, and it is hurting your health. There is only one thing you can do, and that is move. Is there some way you could find a way to do it? The problem with apartment living is that this could happen again, even if you do move, but don't know if it would be this bad. I truly feel your pain, I wish there was a more helpful suggestion to make.

Good idea! [2008-10-31]
Next time I will take photos. The kindergarten teacher tried to get this kid the appropriate help but the school administration stood in the way. It's horrible. All the kindergarten parents were upset -- we even went to the papers. Nothing worked. This bully hit a girl on the head last year with a chair. He didn't get punished. I'm wondering what happened to the Zero Tolerance policy?

hubby name-calling [2008-10-29]
Too bad the child in question didnto you I wonder if his parents talked to him that way when he was a child...makes one wonder... Hubby should apologize to that baby. Mom, just explain to your baby that people should and always let your baby know that hecome to you at ANYTIME...perhals this sounds simplistic but it's sad that adults (OR ALLEDGED adults) think its okay to tear down a child's self-confidence this way!!

Good luck to you. It takes patience, but [2008-10-26]
you will have better credit. Some peoplethink itread that GMAC isnfinancinganyone whose credit score is under 700 credit score and if they do, it willbe at a horrible rate.It's only going to get worse too I'm sure. Long ago I was in your shoes, so I can relate. My DH and I have a credit score of over 800 now and believe me, it's worth it to have a good credit history, it just takes one day at a time.

I thought I was the only one...sm [2008-10-24]
who also has lost their life. Been at home home now for many years and the same thing has happened to me. Husband works late four nights a week. Love my children more than life and the thought of disrupting their lives makes me go into a panic attack. I used to have friends, wonderful friends of 30 years, but don't anymore. One went off the deep end after a divorce from an absolutely horrible man and hasn't spoken to me since and the other divorced a horrible nasty 500 pound slug and has since remarried and now has a new life and doesn't want to hear it with me anymore (even though I was there for the both of them during their horrible marriages divorces.) I have a large family with many sisters but they are so utterly cruel and narcissistic, the only way you can stand to be around them is you either have to be just like them or if you don't mind being destroyed because that is what they do. They destroy people including their family members. I, too, used to exercise every day walking four miles a day and exercising at the gym for about 1 1/2 hours a day. Lost 75 pounds and felt FABULOUS and had incredible stamina, but that has since all gone away and now I am right back to where I was. I have no money. My husband doesn't necessarily spend money entertaining himself but we are not financially together (and not because I am financially irresponsible but mostly because he is controlling and a wife with no money is not powerful). I have been applying for jobs outside of my house but haven't gotten one yet and unemployment in my state is through the roof. I feel as though I have lost my life. My children are getting older but my oldest who is in the 9th grade has ADHD and is very immature so to leave him for long periods of time during school vacation could be disastrous especially since he will be home with his two younger siblings who are 13 and 11. They fight unlike any other children you have ever seen. At the same time, I have an extremely difficult husband to live with who, most of the time, only sees his own wants. I sit here in my house (that we rent) every single day and try to figure out how to get my life back without endangering my children. My youngest also has severe ulcerative colitis and is probably looking at surgery in the next year to have his colon removed, which that in and of itself presents its own challenges to say the least. I don't know how I am going to get him or me through that one. I feel as though I have stress oozing from every pore in my body. I have nightmares when I sleep of becoming sick with cancer or my kids becoming sick with cancer. I have nightmares of being murdered or of someone else being murdered. I have nightmares of my sisters doing their terrible deeds to me. I, too, already take an anti-anxiolytic/ anti-depressant which does help but when you live like this, drastic measures need to be taken to get this straightened out and not just medication. I apologize for not being much help to you but I thought you needed to know that you are not alone and that there are others out there who are having the same problem. Just remember, this is a temporary situation and someday it will get better. That is what I keep hoping for anyway. Good luck to you.

Tassimo [2008-10-22]
Ibought a Tassimo coffee machine a few years ago and love it. I use the Gevalia Signature Blend. For those not familiar with this machine, it is one of those single serve systems which works well for me as I was wasting a lot of coffee when I would make a whole pot and it would taste horrible after sitting too long. The biggest drawback is getting the T-discs. I go to Bed, Bath and Beyond, but it is on the other side of town so not too convenient. I am actually considering getting a Keurig system as they have a much bigger coffee selection and the pods are cheaper.

Seeking home remedy [2008-10-21]
I have been having horrible Charlie Horse I have been reading online that there is really no relationship with low potassium, magnesium, or calcium like most people think. The only suggestions I see are stretching or a hot bath. Anyone have any suggestions of things to try? TIA!

I have banned my mom from seeing my kids [2008-10-21]
Your situation is similar to mine, but my mom has gone a little further. I have 4 children,2 from my first marriage and 2 from my second. My second husband has been with my older two children since they were 4 and 5 and we have been married for 11 years (so obviously he is not going anywhere). I found out about a year ago that she had been talking to my oldest two kids for years about how horrible she thought my husband treated my older kids and how he doesnown children. We had been having problems with my 16 year old daughter at the time and everything can now stem back to much of this. We couldn But they were being fed information behind our backs. Everything from he is cheating on your mom, he is abusing your mom, he is a scumbag, etc. My mother also believes in the other side which is fine with me, but don We don She would frequently talk to my youngest two, who are only 7 and 8, about traveling out of body, talking to spirits, and how they were reincarnated. This was on top of stuff like after being told not to take the kids bike riding down a road that is 55 mph (no sidewalks) with no helmets on and she did it, not just once, but 3 times. Then when I caught her lying about it, she paid off my daughter by taking her shoe shopping! No wonder my kid is messed up. She was told over a year ago to knock it off or supervised visits only (she was told once previously as well). She didnworship her enough for mother It has been the hardest thing that I have had to do, but to save my marrige, my sanity and my kids, I did what I had to do. We live in a small town as well and of course mouths are wagging. The schools are under strict order to not let her in to see them as well and know the situation. My stepfather is dumbfounded and doesn But he is only hearing her side of things. I told him to get her into counseling and that would be the ONLY way I would even think of mending this, but it has yet to be done. You have to do what is right for your family and if this creates this much uproar in your family, then only you can decide how much you can take.

Curious - How is your coffee tasting lately? [2008-10-21]
I am a Folgertried switching measurements (less to more), ice water instead of the bottled water, and then switched brands Eight Othat used to be great and smelled wonderful and fresh when I ground the beans, and even bought a new coffee pot. Nothing is working. We haven't had a decent cup of coffee in months. I'm so desperate, I'm ready to go to the convenience store every morning for a good cup. I need my 2 cups every day! Hubby thinks the coffee is now made up with a lot of fillers lately. He could be right. Anybody have any ideas what could be wrong? Iover this.

We use [2008-10-21]
I have never liked Folgers (we used to live in Seattle and Folgers was not considered real coffee HA HA). I have heard they use a lot of fillers. Also they process it when the beans are too green. We have been using Millstone for over a year now. We go back and forth between the Hazlenut and Vanilla Nut flavors. It makes a wonderful cup of coffee. We had the same experience with other brands that you have described with Folgers. We used to use Seattle's Best & Starbucks but their coffee started tasting really bad. I bought Peet's coffee once and it was horrible horrible. The measurements I use (using a metal coffee thingy (whatever that is called that you scoop grounds into the filter) is 5-1/2 scoops for a 10-11 cup pot. Each scoop holds 2 tablespoons and I heap the scoop of grounds. We also have a Brita water filter, so I use water that's been filtered (but not ice cold). Hope you find a decent coffee soon. Nothing worse than needing a good cup of Jo and it tastes horrible.

If you don't "go overboard" [2008-10-17]
you may be burying your child. He is being totally selfish and irresponsible, like most teenagers, and needs to be shown that is wrong. You need to let his father or your husband handle this. He needs to deal with someone he knows is serious and will not back down. You don't need to protect him from punishments, you need to protect him from himself. Honestly, I know you love him, but if you don't have the backbone for something this serious then let someone who does deal with it. Will he say horrible things to you, you bet. Will he mean them, at the time sure. Do you want him alive and not in jail in 10 years to apologize, I bet you do. I took the door off my daughters bedroom, I did daily searches. She had nothing that was sacred and no privacy because she had lost that right in my home. She was not allowed on the internet for the last 3 years she lived here. Things like that are not a God given right as these kids would like to think. But it IS my God given right/responsibility to try to teach them right from wrong, to have rules and to enforce them and to keep them safe from themselves if need be. I know you love your son, but if you really love him then you need to be willing to step away if that is what is best for him. To many teenagers these days don't take responsibility for their actions and to many adults do not hold them accountable in fear of hurting their feelings. Ask yourself what kind of adult you want him to be. Who is going to teach him to be that adult? Stand up and fight momma, that's your responsibility as his parent. And guess what, my daughter is on her own and in college now, and I'm the first one she comes to for advice!

Need help from people who know about Dogs [2008-10-16]
I am in a bit of a predicament. There is a couple from our church who are very low income and cannot really take care of themselves. Well they have adopted (more like picked up off the street) this dog. She looks like she is part pit part lab part something. Anyways, they have had her for awhile, and she is in bad shape. She looks like she has had puppies, and I doubt she is fixed. It also looks like she has mange. I checked her ears and she definitely has a lot of gunk in there, and probably ear mites. She is scratching so bad she is making herself bleed. It is a horrible situation. I don't have the money to pay for treatment for her. I thought about offering to take her and at least take care of her for awhile (the wife is in the hospital) but I can't risk my dogs getting sick or getting mange. Where we live there isn't really any kind of help for low income people who have pets. What should I do? We are going over there next week to build a wheelchair ramp and I thought about taking some stuff to treat her with, but I don't know what. I'm going to research online, but I just wondered if anyone on here dealt with dogs and knew? I worked at a vet clinic for awhile but of course everything we used was prescription and I doubt a vet will give me anything without seeing the dog. I'm not 100% sure it's mange, it could be fleas too. I had a chow that was allergic when I was little and it was awful. Sorry for the long post! I understand these people love this dog and literally cannot afford it, but it breaks my heart to see that dog so miserable.

Woman falls into freezer & dies [2008-10-07]
How can you do that? Wouldn't it have to be an awfully big freezer? Regardless, what a horrible way to die. COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. � Police say a woman accidentally fell into her freezer and died before a friend found her and called authorities. Colorado Springs Sgt. Tim Hogan says a woman called police Saturday morning to report her friend was dead in the freezer. Hogan says that an initial investigation makes it appear the woman fell into the freezer, then got trapped and suffocated before she could get out. Foul play is not suspected. The woman was not immediately identified, and police didn't say how long the woman had been dead in the freezer before her friend found her.

I agree with you [2008-10-03]
I do believe how a person raises a pet is the number one factor of how an animal behaves. Not all dogs are cujo dogs. One time my DH and I were taking a walk and some guy was out walking his pit bull. I didn't think anything of it, went over and bent down to pet it just like I would have any other dog, and he was so adorable and loveble, licking my hand and loving the attention he received. I never even once gave a thought that the dog would have attacked me for no reason. I didnyeah, go ahead and try it, your fingers look tasty, you don. HA HA, but to everyone else in the family he was adorable and wanted to be pet and held. I had an aunt who had a poodle that was mean as anything. So all dogs are different. I think its horrible that bad people have trained dogs to do bad things, but nobody should judge a dog by its cover. Me particularly, I am a cat person, but everyone in my family has a dog or two. I too would find it upsetting for people to judge one breed of dog who you find loveable and adorable just because of somethings that have happened with other owners. I remember awhile back Rottweilers were getting a bad name. I'm glad there are people like you out there who will give a pet the love and attention they need. Thank you.

you sound like the big sis I need [2008-09-30]
Thanks for your note. I could be making more of this than what is really necessary. It is a horrible way to live (always planning for the worse and worrying about what's going on for things we can't control). I think he realized today that all the negative news and me having to work was really getting me down. I just feel myself getting heavier and heavier and I'm so exhausted right now I feel like I'm about to fall asleep and I have got to finish the rest of my work (about another 4 hours). The reason we don't celebrate holidays is actually an agreement we both have. We used to celebrate holidays but every year I found myself so depressed because I've been away from home for close to 30 years and it is still hard, and I cant just go home every year. And he does not like family rituals or whatever those things are called (can't think of the word), as in it's Thanksigiving so we eat Turkey because it's thanksgiving (family traditions - that's it). So over the years I found it easier to deal with the holidays by not celebrating them. If I do cook a turkey on Thanksgiving its because I feel like having turkey that day. When I say I can't throw too much at him, he doesn't have health problems, but he just can't handle too much. We take one situation at a time. I learned that years and years ago. Me, I'll do 10 things at once, but I keep it simple for him otherwise, so he doesn't get too overwhelmed. Yes I know he's a big boy, but not all men act like it. I may not be expressing myself too good at this point. I'm so exhausted and need to go lay down. Thanks for listening. I liked your last line bout thinking his down and out feelings are more important than my well being. I will be thinking on that one more. Thanks again.