Past, present, future. Still expecting miracle.

You probably saved someone's life in the future. [2008-11-13]
A couple months ago there was a terrible head-on train crash near Los Angeles, and the cause of it was the engineer of the passenger train blew through a red light because he was texting some teenagers. It's a shame he was killed, because he should have lived to see the carnage he caused.

Hi elonmt. Yes, past the Rockaway Mall [2008-10-29]
going west towards PA. Live off of Route 80. My power went out at 12:30 as well as cable. Power came back on at 3 a.m. this morning, 29th and cable back on at 10 this morning. Man o Man. It has been crazy here. We had about 5 inches. Trees were falling, power lines down, roads closed. If felt like a January blizzard when I was out shoveling. Yes, I had to do it, but it was very heavy. I could not even have a cup of hot chocolate when I was done. We had to go out to eat also, but I was not complaining. Sleep with sweatshirt on with a hood and many, many blankets. Glad it is over. Can't wait until we get into winter. LOL

Where in Northern NJ? Past Rockaway Mall? [2008-10-28]
no msg

I have fostered dogs in the past, but [2008-10-25]
had a hard time giving them up, still have all three! In my area, the shelter relies heavily on donationsto keep operating efficiently, so basically the foster homes take responsibility for all expenses of the animal being fostered.Fostering gives animals a chancewho would otherwise be put to deathbecause of lack of room, money or lack of people to rehabilitate the ones who have been mistreated and need extra attention.It is so worth it to give an animal a second chance at life.You have to be willing to let go though when the time comes and it is very hard to do. I just could not do it and so now just stick to volunteering at the shelter and doing fundraising and stuff.

For your future and that of your kids [2008-10-24]
You may not think so, but you've got a lot of things going for you, the most important being that you realize you need to do something. Short term: You've gotten great advice about making small changes, like exercising, losing weight, etc. Go for it. Long term: YouThe journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step? Take that step and you will be surprised what you can do.

I have always been a little sick of having get everyone a present [2008-10-23]
Itsanta, and I wouldn't care if nobody got me anything or anybody else got anything for my kids. It is just so stinking ridiculous to have to buy for my mom, my sister and her spouse, my sister-in-law and her spouse, my brother-inlaw and his spouse, my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, two aunts and uncles, three nephews, three neices, and two cousins. I am just so sick of the money that is spent for all this cr@p. And it is cr@p. Last year one of my daughters got a piano book from her aunt, and she doesn't even freakin take piano lessons. Might as well just flush your money down the toilet.

sorry, but I couldn't get past Daddy sleeping with [2008-10-09]

Lack of help from future son-in-law [2008-09-01]
Please tell me if I I I My daughter is getting married in November. I only have about 3 rooms of furniture and a lot of it is already boxed and in a storage room. I askedmy daughterif Bruce,her fiance,and his buddies could help move me, as I am single, with no father, brothers or friends who are able-bodied any longer (I She asked him and grudgingly he said something to the effect that he could,but we would haveload the truck the night beforeand he would have to be finished up before noon the next day, and his friend would help for $200(!). The last straw was he told my daughter to tell me not to expect to have boxes, furniture placed or set up, because heHAD to get to the Mud Bog by 12:00 sharp. Is this any way to treat a future in-law? He knows I don I did get a couple of co-workers and their husband/brother to help, thank goodness, but I'm really worried about the future with this boy--respect for me, priorities, selfishness--thanks in advance.

That is work; he is your future son-in-law [2008-09-01]
It sounds like you were lucky to get the offer you got and since you have no one you You certainly can If you can come on here and post about your future son-in-law What are you trying to prove here? He said he So what

As the wife of a past mud-bogger....I can tell you this (sm) [2008-09-01]
I think he actually should be nice and be willing to help. No he is not obligated to do so, but he should do it out of kindness. My husband as I type, is still out, having driven far off to go duck hunting. Everything is always left up to me and I am afraid that is how it will also be for your daughter. If he is not helpful now, right before the marriage, he will only get worse after. That is a fact. It is a reflection on how much he values your daughter as well. Knowing that her mother is single and does not have others to help, he should be more than willing to come and help. In my case, my husband has never done anything for my family, but I am expected to do tons for his. I do a lot for them and I don't mind, but they never understand that I also do 99% of the child care and house work around here, and I also work. I work from home because with all of my husband's hobbies, someone has to be home to take care of things here!! Okay, off my soap box now. But I disagree with the poster below...You do have a right to be offended.

Dogs - past and present [2008-08-28]
What breed(s) do you have now? What have you had in the past? I have two Basset Hounds now. In the past, I've owned a Beagle/German Shepherd mix, a PitBull/Doberman mix, a Beagle, and another Basset Hound. Growing up, I had a Chihuahua and an English Springer Spaniel. Love Basset Hounds the best of all breeds, followed closely by the Beagle.

We just got WII fit this past week [2008-08-11]
I) We bought this WII for my son last Christmas and I can honestly say it was money well spent. They have a blast with it and they aren't constantly sitting. We don't have the Guitar Hero but maybe that will be next on the list.

current and past choices [2008-07-25]
Current: NCIS, Mad Men, DamagesPast: West Wing, Will Grace, M*A*S*H, Shark, Golden Girls

This just in from my future contractor [2008-06-04]
You friend is correct, but may be jumping the gun a little bit. As I said before, I would avoid purchasing a NEW PC with XP. This does not make sense, especially if your current PC is working for you. Extended support for Windows XP systems will continue through 2014 at least and probably longer. So the timeframe for upgrading is quite long… I would not upgrade a current PC (more than 2 years old) to Vista under any circumstances. With anything less than 2 Gig of RAM, the Vista OS slows to a crawl and many hardware vendors have not upgraded their drivers. As far as a new machine goes, I would wait until the Vista SP1 (Service Pack 1) has had time to “soak” for a while before making any decision. It’s also MUCH better to change machines than trying to attempt an upgrade later (to Vista SPn for example). Again, the other thing to consider is that not all vendors are currently ready to support Vista and the “compatibility mode” of Vista has been shown to be problematic. So to summarize, here’s what I am suggesting to my clients and friends … 1. Let 2008 pass without upgrading. 2. Revisit the stability of Vista and the depth of vendor support in late 2008 to be ready for a planned migration from XP to Vista in 1Q 2009 at the earliest (and possibly later). 3. When considering the upgrade to Vista, plan a complete hardware upgrade as well. If you would like to talk about this on the phone, feel free to contact me anytime. See this link http://www.microsoft.com/windows/products/windowsvista/sp1.mspx for more information about Vista SP1.

what is something you have bought in the past you will NEVER [2008-05-06]
Mine is Little Critters Omega-3 Gummy Fish. Cute concept but the berry, lemon and strawberry flavoried gummies somehow manage to taste like fruity flavored fish When I got them, my kids gagged with the first one and wouldn't even touch the second one for the recommended 2 a day. So guess who is choking down 2 of those suckers every day now?

One of those so-called miracle teeth whitener kits on TV. SM [2008-05-06]
This one came with a special light . . . OH, RIGHT! I stood in the bathroom holding this stupid light (which I am sure was not more than a regular flashlight) up to my teeth, running to the kitchen where the light was better and swearing my teeth were getting whiter! Did this for a few days, applying the solution (which had no color, no smell) and NOTHING. After a few days of this exhausting procedure my teeth looked absolutely no better! TOTAL RIP OFF!

Birthday present from a 5 year old [2008-04-23]
When my son was five we were walking to school in March, my birthday month. We were talking about my birthday and he said that he would pick flowers for me for my birthday. Unfortunately, in New York there are no flowers yet in March, and I gently pointed that out to him. His face fell for a moment, and then suddenly brightened with an idea - You like worms? he said.

Just how often has he abused you in the past.If you [2008-04-18]
x

i'm not sure how they consider that a miracle [2008-04-09]
so is it one person or 2??? Personality wise I hope it's just one. I've seen that special with the girls with one body and 2 head and it breaks my heart how they will struggle later on to do things normally like get married and have children.

Miracle baby born with 2 faces [2008-04-09]
This was NOT in the Enquirer. This was really on the first page of the Lakeland Ledger in Florida. An Indian infant was born with two (count them) two full faces. That is four eyes, 2 noses, 2 mouths, and thebaby eats with both mouths. They are calling this child the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess anda temple is being built to this goddess in the small town. The family is being given lots of money and gifts, and visits! You should see the picture of this kid. Perfectly normal, except each side of the face is a full face. Nothing else wrong that they know of. I did not know what to think today, if I feel sorry for the child, or worried about how this defect will affect her life. Also, what

miracle [2008-04-09]
Thank goodness for her and her family they consider her a miracle and a goddess reincarnated instead of a devil child or something evil. I looked this up yesterday and was reading that life expectancy is not good. One story mentioned a pig with this condition who aspirated when he was eating with one mouth and breathing with the other and died. From a medical point of view I think it's fascinating. I thought it was a siamese twin thing at first but apparently no, it's a genetic anomoly that makes the head develop multiple facial features, maybe like being born with 6 fingers instead of 5.

Past, present, future. Still expecting miracle. [2008-03-20]
//

Think about future resale [2008-02-21]
I could only get preapproved for a mortgage on stick built homes. No modulars, no manufactured, nothing that had ever been on wheels or classified as such on the tax roles. I had to pass up many good deals on great properties because my lender was adamant about stick built. So keep in mind it may be harder to sell when that time comes.

Way past childbearing age.. [2008-02-14]
NM

The Diaper Genie was the best present I ever got [2008-02-04]
My husband's friend actually bought it for me.

Help is a safety net you have paid for sm [2008-11-21]
Food stamps are a safety net we all pay for, all forms of public assistance are things we have been paying for all along. TAKE the help you need! Do move closer to family if you possibly can. I have been in your shoes myself. I lost my home to foreclosure 4 years ago because of having a near-fatal drug interaction and losing my job of nearly 7 years. I made a couple of moves and finally ended up in a small town out of state from where I had lived for 30 years. I lived with a close friend for about 9 months and had the opportunity to buy a mobile home for $3000. The people I bought it from said I could make payments and I was able to pay it off in 5 months. It needed a lot of work and it has gotten it, most of which I have done myself. This project really helped me to regain parts of myself I had lost. It gave me a reason to get up and get going on my days off. I turned this ugly old thing into a lovely, comfortable home I cherish. I have lost about 50-60 lbs since living here and I have brought the idea of vastly cutting expenses in line with making more money. The end result is that I am very well off financially, better than in my entire life. DO get medication to help you if you can. I didn't have medication to help because I am allergic to every psychotropic in existence. I did this by pulling myself up by the boot straps, but if I could have had help, I would have. There IS a brighter future out there. You CAN have that brighter future because you DESERVE IT. That said, no one expects you to get there alone!!! Don't be embarrassed to ask and receive help. You will be able to help others later. Years ago, when my kids were young, I was a single parent, no support and it was Christmas time. My kids didn't even have adequate clothing or food. A neighbor I hardly knew handed me a Christmas card. Inside was a $100 gift card to K-Mart. She said that many years before that, she had been in my shoes and someone had given her $100 one Christmas, she was now paying this forward to me. The only provision was that I return this favor when I could, and that I bought something for myself too because I deserve nice things for my hard work. It was a turning point for me. I have been more of a giver since. Although I could have paid this back last year, I didn't know anyone who would appropriately benefit. This year, I do and I had to tell her that I was going to do this and why. She cried and felt embarrassed because, she said, she was usually in the position to give and it hurt a little to receive. I reminded her that she was GIVING me the gift of giving with pleasure. Others are going to give to you with pleasure, love, friendship and concern for your well being. TAKE IT. One day you'll post back here about how good things are and I'll want to hear it.

P.S. I am totally not market/investment [2008-11-21]
savy, but just did what he suggested. I have been with this guy for 12 years and he has made me money in the past, so I just went with what he said.

How exciting for you -- sm [2008-11-21]
I My mom always drug me out an hour before the stores opened. The ads usually come out in Thursday In the past, I Get the paper and makea game plan. Some stores open an hour or 2 later than others, so you may be able to get to both in time for the specials you Wal-Mart generally has a lot of specials, especially in the toys dept. Our Wal-Mart gives you a map when you enter to tell you where each BF special is located in the store. They put some stuff in strange places -- like TVs in the meat dept, computers in dairy, etc. It Ask the Wal-Mart greeter when you enter. Our Wal-Mart is also open 24 hours, as are most, which means no waiting outside. We usually arrive an hour before the sales start so we can be in position for the item. Obviously, the most-sought after items are electronics, so be there early if you Target is 1 of my favorite places because their specials run all weekend, not just until 11 a.m. (I hope it They usually open an hour after Wal-Mart. I usually head there second because even though the specials run all weekend, they do run out of stock. Kohl The cash can be redeemed usually starting the Sunday after Black Friday. Don If there General advise: Wear comfortable shoes. Be polite to others, but don If you got there first, it Make sure you and DH have cell phones so you can communicate if you get separated. Most importantly, HAVE FUN!!!! Let us know how you make out afterwards.

Ewwwwwww!!!! [2008-11-21]
I couldn't watch past the first minute when she told her daughter no monkey business. That is just wrong.

My husband is oblivious to our finances [2008-11-20]
Sometimes that It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can I I would suggest talking to the leader of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don It doesn I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn I For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand. As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.

I don't think I understand [2008-11-20]
so just let him do whatever, support his decisions, and hope for the best? He has a good job it is just that so much of it is eaten by the attorneys, support, transportation, and crazy things the ex dreams up that the child must have and we are told we just have to pay it. It costs more than what I make to cover the mandatory expenses of my step-child. I gave up our finances about a year ago to give him a taste of what it was like. Stupidly thinking this would help. Obviously it hasn't but has made things worse. I always reassure him and tell him we will get through it, etc. but when he asks me to make a decision I tell him honestly. Recently asking if I mind if his teenage nephews come stay for the weekend I ask where is the extra money going to come from to feed them and get them to/from work as its an hour round trip. I offer maybe just one night instead of the entire weekend. Automatically thatthey asked for the weekend. He says he doesn't know where the money will come from and he won't ask the his brother either and asks me to call and tell them no. Of course when I refuse I can tell he gets upset although he won't say it. We don't argue about stuff its just more of one of us getting pi$$ed off until it blows over and then starting again the following week when another circumstance comes up. Honestly, I'm just getting tired of putting up. It has been nearly 10 years now but only 4 since our finances went together. We are also expecting a child, which we could afford before the last 6 months came crashing down on us. Of course this is part of my anxiety over finances but being a man and his usual self he wants to live in la-la land until we don't have money to buy diapers. I'm just so frustrated. Thanks for listening and letting me know that there is hope things will change. Atleast I know when the step-child becomes an adult it will be like winning the lottery!

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.

I need some help here -- [2008-11-20]
I am so depressed... I don I just filed bankruptcy 2 years ago because of this job. My income changed so drastically that I lost everything. My car, my home, all of it.I just got things back on track earlier this year and now this crap has to start all over again. I do not foresee being able to make my rent payments on my new house that I just moved into, my cable will be turned off tonight at midnight for nonpayment, I have an old car now and everything keeps tearing up on it and I cannot afford to fix it, I just looked in my closet and I have no clothes to wear anymore, I have gained 50 pounds, I cry all the time, I am by myself all the time in this house, my family all live about 50 miles from me, so it is not affordable to drive there all the time, I have no friends, and as you can tell, I am seriously DEPRESSED!!! I don I have done everything. I have no life outside of my home anymore. I never go out, I never take trips, my 5 year old grandson just this weekend asked me why I did not buy him a birthday present for his birthday last month (no money) and Christmas is coming up, which of course will be more of the same since there is no money... Sorry to unload, just needed somewhere to go for a minute...

I think you are right. [2008-11-20]
I have had most of the day to think things over and cry. I did talk to him a bit and realize that it is mostly his pride (man-ness) that is the problem. I just have to stand my ground and not feel guilty for it, although I will anyway...I think that is just the female (or pregnant hormonal lol) way with feelings, etc. I have also been thinking today that even though things are getting really tough, we have been able to pay our bills so far. It's really going to suck with the holidays especially but it will be past in a couple months and life will resume as normal. Who knows where we will be by then but for now things could be much worse. Even with all the headaches, stress, tears, etc. it could be much worse if we lost a job or...well I don't even want to think about the other horrible things that people go through. Thanks for your support and understanding. Some times women just need to know that they aren't alone in their struggles.

Nissan Altima [2008-11-18]
I presently own a 2008 Nissan Altima and get about 32 miles per gallon. I previously owned a 2006 Dodge Charger, but only got 22 mpg. My first car was a Honda Civic and second was a Honda Accord. IChevy Nova (Corolla type),Chevy Prism, and Dodge Durango (my fave). I prefer foreign cars because of their reliability. Of course my present foreign car was built here in the USA.

I think I spend less at the store when [2008-11-18]
we eat out/order in. Of course, then our entertaining budget increases. But some things are cheaper to just order in. For example, pizzas -- I can get 2 large pepperoni pizzas from the local pizzeria for under $20. If I buy them in the store, I spend about $15 and then have to cook them and my kids don The frozen kind are also smaller. I just got groceries this past Friday and spent $200. I had an entire cart full. In addition to the coupons I had, I also had a 20% discount on everything (one of those reward plans for spending so much the previous 2 months). I got value packs of skinless/boneless chicken breasts - buy 1 get 1 free -- $15 packs of chicken, breakfast sausage on sale, ham steaks on sale, plus my 20% off all that. Overall, I think I spend somewhere around $150 a week on groceries. There are 5 of us -- me, my hubs, and 3 boys -- ages 6 to 11. What I notice that I spend more on are school lunches. It costs $2.00 a day per child and I don I $2/day x 3 kids = $6/day x 5 days/week = $30/week x 4 weeks/month = $120 for lunch. YIKES!!! I think I can do better than that if I pack them.

I'm embarrassed to say this, but [2008-11-18]
we usually eat out at least 3 if not 4 nights a week. Always eat out on Fridays and Saturdays and then usually Tuesday and Thursday nights. I generally cook a large family meal on Sunday with enough leftovers to last through Monday. Tuesday night we either order in and Wednesdays we have breakfast for dinner -- my kids love that one. Thursdays we usually order in because it We usually eat out Friday nights because we go to get groceries (I don Saturday we We When it was a 15-minute drive to town, I planned our meals ahead of time and usually only ordered once a week or once every 2 weeks and we only ate out on Saturdays. We seemed to have picked up these extra 2 nights of ordering in out of convenience (a nicer word than laziness). Oh the cost -- I have 3 kids and a hubby. On the nights we order in, we spend about $25 to $30 (saving because of no drinks or appetizers). When we eat out, the bill is usually around $50. So altogether, I guess I spend about $155 a week on eating out -- WOW/YIKES! Thanks for making me realize that. I think it

I believe it is rated MA, and if not it should [2008-11-18]
be. As for reading the series for Twilight, once I started I could not put it down. With the first book, the first 7 chapters are slow, but if you get past that you are hooked.

I would start charging the JA for room and board - sm [2008-11-16]
If he is so lazy he wonfriend, and tell him the gravy train has stopped and he needs (1) to either take the dogs and take care of them himself, (2) start paying you $200 a week to feed and board the dogs (a bargin)--and if he fails to pay the dogs go to a no-kill shelter (and stick to it), (3) in the future if he does take the dogs back, that he has to find other arrangements for their room and board whenever he is away, unless he pays you in advance with cash and supplies the food.-- yeah he will think you are a shrew but who cares, I'd be so mad at both of them, DH for not understanding and being a wuss for not talking to his friend, and the friend for being the typical male and taking advantage of a good thing. Good luck, and stick it to them!

Don't know about "sweet" but dog is God spelled backward sm [2008-11-16]
I put up with a terrier mix (not a pit - just a mutt) who was hyper and ate everything, my house shingles, kitchen floor, rugs, etc., tried caging her and she bent the wires, scaled a 6 ft. fence or dug holes underneath to get out. We called her Hogan's Heroes. When she literally ate my whole couch one cold Christmas Eve with 20 people coming, I called the SPCA in tears and they said no one would take a dog like her, they would only bring her back and she'd be put to sleep. So I kept her over 16 years and she's buried in a pet cemetery nearby. I now have a 120 lb. Golden who had big paws when he was born and the last one left because he was going to be big, so I took him. People have dropped off dogs to me crying and I found homes for them. I understand how we can't turn away these beautiful animals others don't have the heart to understand. I would present your husbandbill for food, etc., but don I believe in good deeds being rewarded. It takes time but good only leads to good things coming back at you. I doesn't seem that way right now and times are tough, but hopefully you will be rewarded in other ways.

Rest in peace, Fred! [2008-11-16]
We just put our 22-year-old cat, Fred, to sleep this evening. He had wasted away from 17 pounds to 5 pounds and was too weak to stand or eat. He was a loving companion for the past 22 years and will be missed dearly. Rest in peace, Fred. Benny, Gus, and Lily will be waiting in heaven to greet you with open arms!

I think you are an inspiration for wanting to do this....sm [2008-11-16]
I guess a lot of us can relate; I have 2 or 3 people from my past that have moved far away and I have no way of finding them right now, but please believe me, I truly want to do the same thing, go to them and make peace, to say be able to forgive each other and leave things on good terms. Regrets and guilts can slowly eat away, and it is good for your own personal health to do this, you must feel so much better. WE all mess up, we all need forgiveness now and then, or to grant forgiveness. You are a lovely person with integrity, honor, and caring to do this, such a lovely post to read!!!

I need some advice [2008-11-15]
Ok this is the story: My husband is still friends with his first girlfriends family. This does not bother me. She did a couple of things to really disgrace her family when she was dating him but after a period of time he still kept in touch with them as we live in a very small community. When we met and got engaged they were all very kind to me and the mother even did the cake and flowers for our wedding. The ex is never around much so no big deal. Well this past weekend her great grandmother passed. My husband had known this woman for sometime and the mother asked him to come to the funeral and told me I was not to feel like I shouldnI. To which the ex rolled her eyes and looked at her HUSBAND. So we walked away. To tell you the truth, we didn't really care. Well we get a phone call about an hour ago from the exum we aren Well, knowing how immature the ex and her husband are, we knew they were behind this (plus we could hear them in the background). So my husband told the boy Look, it Well a few minutes later he gets a text message from the brother saying my mom can (which obviously is not true since we saw her Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon and she was obviously not mental). So my husband sent back a message saying Look, whatever issues your sister has with me and your mom having an ADULT friendship, she needs to take those up with your mom, but quit trying to start drama. Well a few minutes later the phone rings. My husband handed me the phone. Knowing how mad he was at the moment, I answered. It was the ex. She asked if she could talk to him, and I said No. This needs to stop right now, it She said well my mom is really going crazy and she can. She went on for about five minutes and I said fine, we won I'm just so angry right now! I mean this is high school drama! What would you do? I know the mom will be absolutely heartbroken if my husband and I just stop coming to see her and talking to her (since her lovely daughter never comes home). I mean except for the funeral, we never go around if she is going to be there, and we don't sit there and talk bad about her or anything. I honestly think she knows she screwed up by messing around on him SIX YEARS AGO and is just upset that he's married and happy and it sounds like her husband is a jerk.

Before you push the panic button sm [2008-11-14]
This is a recession, quite possibly the mother of all recessions. It may turn into a depression, but it will run a very distant second to the Great Depression, IF it does. Pre the GP (Great Depression) you several things going on that are NOT true today. We had come out of WWI not that long before. It had been a very bloody war, the first war with mechanized destruction. What the Doughboys witnessed was for them what we saw on 09/11...unimaginable death and destruction. It changed how they viewed America. When these boys came home from the war, they came back to the farm, by and large. We were an agrarian country and with the exception of east coast, there were hardly any factory jobs and most people worked the land. Plenty of places all over the country people worked on shares and they were not all in the deep south and they were not all black. There was not nearly the land/home ownership that there is today. Most of these dirt farmers lived in poverty and barely scraped by enough to eat twice a day. When the great Dust Bowl came through Oklahoma, it took the enormous clouds of dust eastward and dumped it into the Atlantic Ocean. This was a man-made disaster and the story of the Joads in the Grapes of Wrath centers on the Dust Bowl and the farming habits of families, like the Joads caused them problems. It was their fault that the top soil blew across FDR's desk in the Oval Office. There was no infrastructure to speak of, in those days. There were roadways, but not the spider web of paved roads there are today. Goods were carried on the rails, not over the roads. You didnin town and the Sears-Roebuck catalog. If you couldn't find it there or could not afford it you either cobbled something together or did without. You can look the Coal Miner's Daughter about being so low-down dirt poor it is unbelievable. That movie is quite cleaned up and Hollywood presentable. You could look at the sparse surroundings of the ranch house in Broke Back Mountain where Ennis goes after Jack dies, and while the time frame is more modern, the very plain, only the very basics of life appear in that ranch house. They are both a bit sanitized, but reasonably realistic. Today, Americans live extraordinarily different lives than we did 80 years ago. Most people have a vehicle. Most people have more than a dirt floor shack to live in. We, have thanks to the Great Depression and FDR's recovery plan, electricity, roads, water, sewage and other sanitation. We take these things for granted, but we should not. The GP did bring some food shortages, not because of the depression, but because of the lack of infrastructure combined with people on the move to find work to subsist. The food shortages you are thinking of came with WWII and rationing...another problem secondary to lack of infrastructure and subsistence farming where there was not enough food produced to meet the need. If you are going to stock up on food, let be for more common sense reasons. If you put your money in the bank, you will make 2% or 3% return on $500. If you put that same amount into nonperishable food (think canned goods), you make a better return on an investment. You don't earn 2% or 3%, but you can end up leveraging against future price increases that will meet and exceed what interest you make from a bank, which is nothing right now. You will need food whether you buy it now or buy it later. Squirreling away extra under the bed or whatever place you can find room, is a wise investment...financially and in peace of mind.

I have two dogs [2008-11-13]
They love me and are all over me every chance they get. Most dogs love me. The dog next door will look at my kitchen window and if she sees me, she will wag her tail and bark until I come out and pet her. I am horribly afraid of German Shepherds. I got bit near my eye by one. My BIL has 2 of these dogs and they can tell I don't like them. But they just avoid me. Now my friend who lives about a mile from me has a small dog and that dog hates me with a passion. It gets so upset and snarly when it even hears my van. I refuse to go in her house until that thing is caged. Am I bad person? I don't think so. Funny thing, I drive past her house to pick my girls up from school. They have a couch in front of a big window and every day when it is time for me to go by, that dog gets up on the couch and when I drive by it freaks.

Slightly different perspective. [2008-11-13]
So maybe I shouldn't post about this since I have not exactly been in your shoes but I think possibly I can lend a help perspective. I lost my father to cancer when I was 19. My FIL is an alcoholic. No I didn't grow up in a divorced family or without a father through my childhood and no I haven't experienced my father being an alcoholic. What I feel I can tell you is there is such a thing as being too late to say the things you wanted to say, good or bad. If it does come to that, you will never let it go. He is still your father regardless of the choices he has made in his life. You only have 1 father. After seeing my FIL, I believe alcoholism is an illness. Sure people can fight it and get help if they wan, but it takes a very, very strong person to overcome it and it is a constant battle. From the sounds of your post it seems as though you have some things you need to get off of your chest. Whether that means sitting down and talking to him or putting the past in the past and moving on with any kind of relationship - I think only you can figure that out. Even a relationship that is only on holidays and important events is still a relationship. Who knows, maybe talking to your mom would help her as much as it might help you. It certainly can't be a short conversation, it needs to be thorough to get through the surface feelings and to the nitty gritty. Maybe, just maybe, your mom could shed some light for you on why she has been able to forget the past to a certain extent and move on. If nothing else, this might make you and your mom even closer and it sounds like no one else (professional or otherwise) would understand better than her. With my FIL, we do not stay when he is drunk or starts drinking. The entire family knows we pack up and leave, regardless of the situation. It hurts his feelings sometimes I can tell, but he knows the circumstances and we have small children that we will not subject to that. It was difficult at first but over the years it is just the way it is and no one says a word anymore and respects where we are coming from.

Been there done that [2008-11-13]
If you haven't already, read books about Adult Children of Alcoholics. My dad was a serious alcoholic who managed to hold down 2 full time jobs. He was either coming home drunk in the middle of the night and waking up everyone fighting with my mother, or when he would have a day off, he was an awesome fun Dad. He never drank at home or in front of us. So it was very confusing. Fast forward many years, at 63 he was diagnosed with cirrhosis and bleeding ulcers and had an emergency subtotal gastrectomy because he almost died. From there on, he stopped drinking because he had to, not because he wanted too. He died less than 3 years later. He lived with me for the last 2 years and I took care of him, and we became very close. It didn't erase all the bad stuff, but I was at peace when he died. I would try to make amends with your Dad now and let go of the past, because to put it bluntly you are a big girl now and you can't be angry about your childhood forever. It is not healthy.

How many of you have a backup plan [2008-11-13]
if your spouse were to lose their job? Assuming the MT rate of pay isn I don We have no backup plan. My in-laws already have their other son (and family of 4) living with them due to job loss. My family lives in another state altogether. I don I just don Should we have some sort of plan in place? Do most people? Our savings has dwindled to nothing this past year with all the increased expenses and we have cut back all we can. There's nothing else to cut other than house/cars/utilities.

There are no jobs where I am sm [2008-11-13]
I had thought of working part-time in a mall to get the discount, do some Christmas shopping, get out to see people, only a few days here and there. Our newspaper used to have at least 3-4 full pages, 7-8 on the week-end, down to 1 column on weekdays, 2 on weekends. Most are heavy lifting jobs for men and/or must speak Spanish, especially if medical. So I buy extra at every sale, extra everything, use coupons, got 30% off from Kohlnice dress with atoy inside.The only thing is I am getting depressed from clutter, too much stuff all over but have to remind myself some have nothing. We do not go out to eat except perhaps soup in a sour bread bowl on special just every other week or at a Panera Bread just to say we went out, bought video movies for a dollar at church bazaars (all Disney) for grandkids, using our VCR which will be obsolete soon but can still watch movies on old TVCutting back in general, baking bread, baking cookies, really clipping and saving everything I can get my hands on. Walmart does not accept internet coupons, so check the newspaper. I do read labels on food from Walmart as some is from China.Joined a wholesale club but found it more expensive than most stores, so we can get our money back, refundin 3 months so they tell us. I really wish I had been more frugal when I made decent money at MT, I can now see I was wasteful and shame on me! I should know better, have been through recessions before. They do turn around and the only good thing is they give us a swift kick in the rear! Feel sorry for those who can barely make it, work is hard to come by in New England and a lot are losing their jobs, even teachers with over 20 years. No one knows when the next shoe will fall, even malls are failing. I am leaving all tags on gifts this year, usually cut them off, but with so many people returning things for the money, they said itand even though I get gift receipts, I want them to see where it came from so the store won't give them grief. Target is the worst for returns. So that's my story here in cold, sleeting today, NE.

Thanks for your suggestions and kind words. [2008-11-12]
I am a very old fashioned person and generally speaking have the ideals that you speak of above. Making gifts, thinking outside of the box because it means more, putting aside the cost and really putting effort and thought into the gift - for any occasion. I know I have a short fuse right now with the hormones and it makes me not want to even try. Really my MIL is the only problem. Everyone else would love a thoughtful, homemade gift. I guess you sort of have to know her personality too. Generally speaking, she rubs me the wrong way but I try to just let things go. I just get tired of hearing the we are really going to cut back this year! when they said the same thing last year and it was a normal Christmas, then when I offer a suggestion she looks at me like I just cut someoneretired and bored. I did stand my ground this year though and tell my husband to deal with her on the Christmas morning doings. In the past Santa only comes to her house...so all the kids and grandkids have to cart their stuff over there to put under the tree and then wake up and drive over for presents in the morning. Screw that. In what fairy tale book did they read that Santa doesn't come to the house where the child sleeps?! Crazy how different families can be. Oh well, I'm getting off subject here but I thank you for your kind words and I'm going to try to change my attitude. I can only do what I can do. I suggested my homemade gift ideas to my husband and he then went through a catalog and picked out gifts. Granted they were $15-20 a piece but still. Every dollar counts these days. HI'm trying to look at it as one less thing I have to do or think about - I'm sure that's where he is coming from anyway. Men just think backwards sometimes.