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My town has 25,000 people but when I first moved [2008-11-22]
here 23 years ago, it only had 5,000. We had a Tastee Freeze and a Chicken Country and that was it. Our town has gotten to big for our liking but the school system is excellent so I suppose we'll just bear with it for a while.
yeah, i'm 55 and people keep [2008-11-21]
asking, how long are you going to work? but i can only say, as long as i can. One hardly dares to stop do they?
My husband can't say no to people either...sm [2008-11-20]
Unless he gets mad about something. We don't really work it out. I am usually just stuck as you say being the bad guy or give in.
Find comfort in the fact that you aren't the only one who struggles with bills. I bought my son a Playstation 3 for X-mas this year for $400 but the only way I was able to do that was to put back money all year and hide it.
It seems just typical man, most anyway, that you tell them and tell them but they don't pay you any mind or they don't want to hear it.
Just sit him down and talk and tell him it isnno. Throw in some tears, which shouldn't be hard to do, for more effect. Maybe he will feel bad.
Four people and roughly spend about 700+ per month. sm [2008-11-19]
However that includes everything including cleaning products, oil for cars/semitruck, hygiene products, socks/panties (don't put those in the clothing budget), etc.
Any creative people out there? [2008-11-19]
In giving gift cards to kids on Christmas, how would you do that? I think it would be sad to just hand several gift cards to a kid that are in a tin or such. No christmas fun in that!
The people across the street from [2008-11-18]
have pumpkins sitting on their front porch as well as their outdoor Chirstmas lights up. They don't turn them on, but they are defenitiely up.
Too bad more people do not do this - [2008-11-16]
I think this shows how much you have grown up and how caring you are. I think this will bring the other person closure as we all need that when we are hurt. I had my heart broken 10 years ago and not a day goes by where I think what did I do wrong to be treated so horrible. I don't dwell as much but I wonder how people can be so cruel. I commend you and hopefully, this will bring closure for you too.
Blondie, have read your posts before sm.. [2008-11-15]
You sound like a very good person, very caring. I was in the same situation once with a neighbor's dog. He would go to Canada hunting and just leave his dog tied to a dog house in mid-winter in New England and I would take her into my home, feed her, keep her warm and all. This neighbor today I can say with full confidence was borderline-retarded without a doubt. I am so glad I did this. I even at one time went to the dog pound and claimed this dog who had gotten loose and said it was my own. I could not let this poor dog suffer because of its owner. All I can say is do what is in your heart, it may cost you a few dollars more but think of it is abandoned children and you are there for them. Take a good look at this guy and truly ask yourself is he is capable of the love and caring you have in your heart. I know times are tough, but perhaps you are the one who is meant to save these poor animals. Sounds like this guy is either not the sharpest tool in the shed or something else wrong with him. Does he have enough money for beer or etc., and not his dogs? Then he doesn't deserve them! Think hard about the dogs and what would happen to them if it were not for you. You are a very nice person. I hope you find an answer. As for your husband, only you can answer that question. I think he should at least stick up for you and address his dumb friend as to what his responsibility is in the situation. Good luck, Blondie, you are a sweetheart to put up with all this, and I am sure the dogs are in a better place with you. Do you have an SPCA or someone who could help with the food? Perhaps online you can find a way to make your own food suitable for dogs at a reasonable price. May God be with you. Perhaps you are meant to care for dogs in some way that would be beneficial to you in other ways. God bless you for caring.
People leaving their McMansions and traveling West [2008-11-14]
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Crazy people............ [2008-11-13]
who want to show that two lesbians can have a biological child.
You know how they say dogs sometimes can sense things about people? [2008-11-12]
We had that ATT U-verse stuff installed in October and three installers came to the house. Not a single problem with the dogs. (We still had LouLou at the time.) They sniffed the installers and then let them go on about their business. The one installer was at our house for 12 hours.
On Saturday, two ATT techs came over to fix the computer. Again, not a single problem with Duke. He sniffed them out and didn't bother them for the rest of the time.
On Sunday, the ATT tech who came over called to say he was on his way. He said he was somewhat spooked by dogs and he just wanted to make sure we had a friendly one. I assured him Duke wouldn't bother him.
Duke didn't care for that man in the slightest. He growled at him and the hair stood up on his back. Every time the man came in the room, Duke reacted the same way and would back away from him.
I wonder what it was about him that Duke didn't like?
Seems to me the people you call friends... [2008-11-11]
were trying to teach you a lesson. You are the one with the cell phone who doesnOkay. You don If I were you, IThank you very much. Your lesson was very well learned now get the h**l away from me. For crying out loud, with friends like that, who needs enemies. Life is too short to deal with that kind of crap. Go find some new friends who don't care if you text or not.
People love my bread stuffing sm [2008-11-11]
I use Pepperidge Farm seasoned bread stuffing, donare out there, this is put out by a bread company. Theninstead of water, use orange juice. I once tried chicken broth but too greasy. I add freshly chopped onions, celery and sometimes raisins and small amt. of chopped cranberries. I never stuff the turkey but bake it separately in a casserole. If it looks too dry, I may add a teaspoon or moreof the final turkey drippings just over the top. This is one time I use butter. I have tried rubbing the bird with mayonnaise and that works well. Like to experiment but always the turkey comes out just fine at 20 minutes per lb. and use a thermometer. They always ask for more stuffing.
accounting is awesome and nurses have to touch sick people -nm [2008-11-10]
x
Why do people ask you how you are today [2008-11-08]
and then walk away before you really even geta chance to open your mouth.
Or why does that perky little young girl at thebank say Have a good day when she really could give a rattail about whether I do or not. She doesn
All these people are coming for thanksgiving... [2008-11-07]
My house is a cluttered mess. I just don I mean, I guess I do...I What I thought would be fun is giving me heart palpitations. Any advice?
GP, did the moderator take down all the other posts here? sm [2008-11-06]
There were a whole bunch of posts having to do wtih cast iron, you and sam being from the same part of the country, etc. If the mod did take them down, why?? I did not see anything out of the ordinary. Or am I missing something obvious?
There are people out there though . . . [2008-11-04]
I had a PA struggling to diagnose me in the office one day and she was telling me probably lupus, blah, blah, blah, all of this crap and she had the doc come in and he said do you know who she is??? (yea, she did). He said to her, this woman is a member of the medical profession and she is going to go right back to her office and look up everything you just told her and panic. She knows what you are talking about, you don't just throw out diagnoses. That's probably not exactly how he said it but I get the meaning of, don't cross this MT off the list, honey, she knows everything you are saying!!
Why do people say [2008-11-03]
(especially kids) when they heard you the first time.
Why do people expect [2008-11-03]
You to do something for them, when they know there is no way in @#$% you can do it.
Why am I still here?
for short people [2008-11-03]
why is it the one item i need is on the very top shelf so far back i cannot reach it?
OMG Yes!!!!! It's a conspiracy against short people! [2008-11-03]
I get so aggravated! And then it never fails you go looking for someone who can help you or has a ladder and no one is EVER working on the floor! At Wal-Mart, I THEN an employee appears and tells me I can I said, then you need to be out here doing you job so I don
Man, being short sucks!
some people did, some people didn't. It's their choice. [2008-11-02]
x
people pay you to sing? I think people would pay me not to sing [2008-11-02]
to come to somebody's home, interrupt what they are doing and expect to be paid. I would shut the door in your face.
What is up with these people? [2008-10-21]
My children have no grandparents at all due to this kind of crap. When my mom was alive she stepped over the line all the time.
I am no longer speaking to my father (whom I have always adored) because of my oldest daughter and his deciding he could do it better as far as raising her (this from an ex-alcoholic).
My X-in-laws tried to take my children away from me when their dad died and would not quit saying bad things about me when they saw them so my kids quit going (of their own accord).
My current husbands father has called me and my husband names in front of the kids and his new wife constantly made racial comments, so none of the kids see them anymore either.
What happened to just being a grandparent? Someone to spoil the kids and be there for them, not take over as their parent because they felt their own child was not doing a good enough job!!!
I so wish I had cut all ties with my father sooner, even though I love him, it would have saved everyone a lot of heartache and maybe my oldest would not be the mess that she is (or at least not as much).
It makes me very angry that these people cannot have the same respect for US as parents that they say THEY deserve!!
Probably self-explanatory... [2008-11-22]
On a personal level, I'm gothic...
On a professional level, I'm an MT.
People are somehow always taken aback at that combination, but I rather enjoy demolishing the preconceived stereotypes of others, so it's all good.
Rock on, my fellow MTs :)
Bring ads from other stores. Most pricematch..sm. [2008-11-22]
So you donThus eliminating running all over town in a mad rush. All you have to do is get to the sale item at that store first before it It makes it sooo much easier and a lot less stressful. I hope I worded that so it makes sense. I'm tired.
Or, get together the day before with a few other people who are going.Each of you is designated a different store and picks up what the others want at their designated store. Then meet for breakfast afterwards to exchange the purchases as well as horror/humor storiesfrom theadventures.Thus, again, eliminating the rushing from one place to another.
I think I I heard you can do that for theblack friday sales and some store will even let you buy online and pick up at the store. (later, after the rush and madness is over!)
Forthe virgin poster, beware, some people can be downright mean, nasty,rude and even violentthat morning. Seriously.Oh, and NEVER leave your cart unattended if you were lucky enough to getone of the limtedamounts per store items. People will literally take them right out of your cart if you And keep your purse in sight at all times. If you bring a purse, have it hang in front of you and not on your side. I like to just keep my money and/or credit card tucked snugly in my front pocket of my jeans and not even bother with a purse.
live in a town of <150. No zeros. [2008-11-22]
that's less than 150 people, 13 miles from nearest grocery, in the middle of the USA...and i grew up in a big city in CA. but whoohoo!! now we have a cell tower too. turkeys roam the yard every day. sometimes deer, right in town :) and we've been upgraded to high speed I/N as well. Living is good!!
Everyone seems [2008-11-22]
pretty happy. It doesn't seem prurient. I've been in favor of other situations in which people are free to develop on an internal time clock rather than one imposed externally & in that regard there's probably something to this, but the siblings following the first probably got the idea to continue for a long time from watching, so there's definitely a bias there.
Would be interesting for someone to design a study comparing long-time thumb-suckers with children weaned at a later age. This woman would probably say that the experience of breastfeeding can't be duplicated or substituted with a bottle or a plastic nipple because the emotional part of it would be lost. I don't know. I guess it depends on the family involved. I remember on Six Feet Under, how Lisa & Nate were letting Maya sleep in their bed until she decided she didn't want to any more. I think there's just a whole movement out there comprised of people with similar ideas, & until someone does a long-term study, I guess I'd have to say any suggestion that it's out-&-out wrong is just conjecture or has a cultural bias.
Does anybody live near Trenton, NJ? If so a hospital position 40 hr week is available...sm [2008-11-22]
This requires a quick response on your part, because there are two positions open and I don The ft position is hospital transcription, hourly wage, all bennies and PTO and holidays. The other position is team leader for the MT department, directing work flow and working with staff. People are now interviewing, but wanted to give a chance. email me if you want to, because I will not name this on post. Thanks
150 inhabitants? Is this really a city?...s/m [2008-11-22]
Are you the same person who posted this nasty reply to 'abc' on 11/16/08?
Now I can undertand that living in a VILLAGE (or BOX) with 150 people gives you a backward insight on a lot of issues.
Jeez! Awful! ...sm [2008-11-21]
I don't have a 401K though because I am a IC. I am saving though and I will open an IRA one day. A lot of people are losing a lot of money in their 401K.
Help is a safety net you have paid for sm [2008-11-21]
Food stamps are a safety net we all pay for, all forms of public assistance are things we have been paying for all along. TAKE the help you need! Do move closer to family if you possibly can.
I have been in your shoes myself. I lost my home to foreclosure 4 years ago because of having a near-fatal drug interaction and losing my job of nearly 7 years. I made a couple of moves and finally ended up in a small town out of state from where I had lived for 30 years. I lived with a close friend for about 9 months and had the opportunity to buy a mobile home for $3000. The people I bought it from said I could make payments and I was able to pay it off in 5 months. It needed a lot of work and it has gotten it, most of which I have done myself. This project really helped me to regain parts of myself I had lost. It gave me a reason to get up and get going on my days off. I turned this ugly old thing into a lovely, comfortable home I cherish. I have lost about 50-60 lbs since living here and I have brought the idea of vastly cutting expenses in line with making more money. The end result is that I am very well off financially, better than in my entire life.
DO get medication to help you if you can. I didn't have medication to help because I am allergic to every psychotropic in existence. I did this by pulling myself up by the boot straps, but if I could have had help, I would have. There IS a brighter future out there. You CAN have that brighter future because you DESERVE IT. That said, no one expects you to get there alone!!!
Don't be embarrassed to ask and receive help. You will be able to help others later. Years ago, when my kids were young, I was a single parent, no support and it was Christmas time. My kids didn't even have adequate clothing or food. A neighbor I hardly knew handed me a Christmas card. Inside was a $100 gift card to K-Mart. She said that many years before that, she had been in my shoes and someone had given her $100 one Christmas, she was now paying this forward to me. The only provision was that I return this favor when I could, and that I bought something for myself too because I deserve nice things for my hard work. It was a turning point for me. I have been more of a giver since. Although I could have paid this back last year, I didn't know anyone who would appropriately benefit. This year, I do and I had to tell her that I was going to do this and why. She cried and felt embarrassed because, she said, she was usually in the position to give and it hurt a little to receive. I reminded her that she was GIVING me the gift of giving with pleasure.
Others are going to give to you with pleasure, love, friendship and concern for your well being. TAKE IT. One day you'll post back here about how good things are and I'll want to hear it.
Just check all the ads in the newspapers. [2008-11-21]
Most stores have special coupons for early birds on Friday morning. Around here, stores open around 4 a.m. and last year we got there at 3 and stood in line in the cold just waiting to get in. Good luck. Don so unless you are first in line at those places you are usually out of luck. I know last year, people were in line at Best Buy at 2 a.m. waiting for it to open at 5.
Private counseling [2008-11-21]
Go to a private counselor yourself if he wonANONYMOUS programs attract those who do not get it and go around town blabbing your business, ruining your lives even moreso. Yes, they save lives but they often ruin them with their gossip, even the name gossip hisses, it ruins lives, topples marriages, loses jobs. Be sure before you let these people into your personal, private lives and your homes. Sometimes private, closed-door counseling is the best way to go. Then if you are both comfortable with going public that is your own personal decision. Beware of who you let into your life. If you were going to take a plane ride you would want to know the pilot.
Has our country taken a turn for the ... [2008-11-21]
Our once great country, I afraid, has just turned a corner for the worse. I have watched as the mentality of our country has gone from setting your mind to something, working hard, and you can accomplish it to giving up, sitting back, and letting somebody else take care of them.
I was brought up, as many were, with a good work ethic that was instilled in us by our parents. With the idea that if you want something you had to work for it, and by working for something you learned quickly the difference between wants and needs.
There were always incentives for a person to strive to better themselves. Whether it were financial incentives, or just the pride you gained in knowing that you did something yourself, it didn’t matter.
I wasn’t long ago that people had that “small town” mentality, and everybody knew their neighbors. And those neighbors helped each other out, in any situation, it was just what you did. And people were so proud that some times help would have to be disguised, you remember the lines like..”Mom made more stew than we could eat, could you help us out by taking it so that it doesn’t go to waste?”
But, somewhere along the line those thoughts of some (I guess now the majority) have changed. Some how, if somebody works hard to gain something others feel entitled to have the same things, even if they didn’t have to go through the struggle to earn it. Some how, things like big screen TVs, cell phones, and shiny new cars have wrongly slipped from the “wants” list to the “needs” list.
Somewhere the incentives to strive for betterment have been replaced by incentives to be lazy. The easy way out and hand outs are now the norm. The feeling of pride about being self sufficient is supposed to be replaced by guilt for having more than others.
The “small town” mentality is gone and our neighbors have turned into strangers. People no longer help out their neighbors or even themselves, instead they sit and wait for the government to come solve things for them. And when help does come they complain that the help wasn’t good enough or didn’t come fast enough, the pride is gone.
Well, I refuse to think that way, my small town roots and work ethic runs to deep. I refuse to let somebody take care of me while I am willing and able to take care of myself. I will continue to meet and know my neighbors and help them out when they need it. I will continue to work hard to take care of my needs and by doing so, my wants will take care of themselves. I will continue to volunteer for things and give to charities of my choice regardless of what the government wants to take away from me and give to the undeserving.
My hope is to change the thinking back to the way it was. The sun will rise again tomorrow, I’ll keep doing what I do, and this country can be great again….at least in my little corner of it…
i know what you mean, but maybe [2008-11-21]
you should move! we still have small town atmosphere here. Neighbors and i share food like you described, look after other's animals, help each other. When i got seriously hurt a few years back, so many brought food, even people i didn't know, and offered help...
it never really goes away, you just have to chalk it up [2008-11-21]
as a lesson learned. this is amazing, cuz the same thing just happened to me this week. been helping someone for ages, then they turn on me !! blew my mind and i we can only learn to surround ourselves with the loved ones around us. you can I and go down the long list of things that you know you are blessed with.
this is the worst: youall the people who have done me wrong. so much for getting back to sleep once that list starts creeping into your consciousness.
forgive yourself, realize it and remember, no good deed goes unpunished. -- sorry.
This may sound a little weird [2008-11-21]
But I live in a really big city and I would put him in a retirement complex. That is a really good place for people with lots of money who don't feel like cooking for themselves or being alone. I hope you live in a big city too. Good Luck!
I only have one child, a son..sm [2008-11-20]
so that helps. I usually spend about $300 on my son, but this year I have spent $400 already on a playstation 3 he has wanted ever since they came out last year. I can't just give him that so I have to buy him some other little things to open. My mom and mother-in-law and sister-in-law are going to buy playstation 3 games because after spending $400 on it I can't buy the games too, which are about $60 each. So I still have to buy some small things for him so I will probably spend about $500 on my son this year. The most I have ever spent on him and he is 10. Like I said it is usually no more than $300. I try to spend no more than $100 on my husband, but this year I know he has said how he would love to have an ipod. So I am going to buy one for about $150. I have my dad to buy for and mom. I know I will probably spend about $50 on my mom. My dad I am not sure yet. In-laws are usually about $20-25 each. My sister about $25. My brother in law about $20. My 2 nephews about $20 each. I also have a niece I will spend about $20-30 on. I try to spend a little more on my niece because my sister in law spends a lot on my son. So you see I have a lot of people to buy for. I don't even know how much that is all together but it ain't cheap. And the people I buy for I have to cause they do for us.
ooh...that is a bad word in our house! [2008-11-20]
I have trouble dealing with the day-to-day rudeness of people out in public. I have too many urges and have to bite my tongue.
I actually shop online for most of my stuff. I am one of those people that get irritated if my trip to the grocery store lasts more than 30 minutes, so I think it is best for everyone involved that I stay home on Black Friday.
Christmas Club...sm [2008-11-20]
I have three grown kids (includes 1 in-law) and I have money taken out of my paycheck through the year and whatever the amount is when I get the check, I divide that by 3 and that is how much I spend on the kids. It I put back through the year from my OT and get my husband something nice and then I just pick up a few inexpensive things along the way for a couple of other people I like to give a little something to. I don't think anybody really cares how much I spend on them, but I do try my best to be equal in what I spend on the kids, even at their ages now!
We did something similar [2008-11-20]
but it was a local theater gift card instead of the netflix. I didn't know netflix did such a thing. That's a great idea.
A smore's kit is nice to make or homemade marshmellows (they are not that difficult to make as most people think) with homemade hot chocolate mix and some cute mugs.
Also made fleece throws for everyone for xmas one year. YOu can get the no-sew fleece and just cut a fringe around the edge to finish it.
Offer up a free baby sitting night to the parents, all you need is a card. Tuck it in the tree with their name on it.
If there is something special that you make that someone likes you can make up a basket with many of the ingredients and include the recipe card. If it is cookies or something nonperishable you can include a finished version in the basket.
Do any of you have a spouse [2008-11-20]
who can How do you work it out? Are you just stuck always being the bad guy?
Unfortunately, the entire United States is having a difficult financial time. It is obviously not just our household. We have cut back everywhere we can, and I mean everywhere. Our families are having difficult problems as well. We also have an ex-spouse and have had unexpected increases in child support, etc. recently along with unexpected additional expenses where this is concerned. Basically, the child needs new glasses, etc. even though the child really doesn It just seems like it is one thing after another and I know it is for everyone, although the circumstances may be slightly different.
My problem is that I have been telling my husband for months that this was coming, along with Christmas, birthday, etc. He hasn Although we have cut back on many things, on my initiative, it just has not sunk in for him until now...when everything finalized and we dont To top this off, he can Ibad guy because he is ok with all of it although he admits he has no idea where the money is going to come from. I have been upfront with my family and when people ask me but is it too much to ask that he do the same? I dont But of course he wants to constantly remind me (the cheap skate and tight-a$$) to cut back on groceries, etc. which I cannot possibly do any more than I have already. We have nothing left in savings. We have no Christmas fund.
I I donI told you so but I did tell him and he had no concerns until now...when we are seemingly headed towards financial trouble. I have been working OT but his OT has been cut indefinitely from his employer. I I must say he doesn't buy things for himself..its just the piddling away of $20 here and $20 there on top of our already mounting unexpected expenses.
Sorry you are feeling so down (sm) [2008-11-20]
First of all, relax. You need to go to a doctor and get on an antidepressant? No insurance? If you can get the money to go to the doc for one visit, you can get them to prescribe an antidepressant that is on Walmart's $4 list and get it for $4 a month. Call United Way and see if they can direct you where to get help with your rent. Don't worry about whether or not you have cable, you'll be okay without that unless you need it for your job? Don't worry about not being able to give Christmas gifts...just explain that you don't have the money. People will understand and your grandson can have it explained to him. I have the same isolation issues that you do because of the job. Can you go to a temp agency and see about getting a job outside of your house so you can be around people more? There is a website called Exercisefriends.com where you can meet people in your area who want exercise buddies, maybe just someone who is starting out trying to walk every day or something like that (not sure what your fitness level is). Or advertise on Craigslist for a walking buddy (but be careful of course when first meeting the person). I met one of my best friends this way and have known her for 4 years now. If you want an email buddy feel free to email me. I think everyone is struggling right now and it is hard. I would be happy to have you vent to me via email all you want. :-)
make a call [2008-11-20]
Look in the phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous and call the central office. Tell them you need someone to make a 12-step call. Someone from your local area who is in AA will come over to your house and talk to your husband and you can leave with the kids during this time. By the time you get back, your husband will have decided whether or not he will sober up. Usually the person he talked to will assume responsibility for taking him to the meetings or finding someone who will sponsor him. So you are off the hook at this point.
On the other hand, he may decide no thanks and then you will have your real answer.
AA is free and pretty crowded with new people around the holidays, so the timing is good. The average age of a person coming into AA is 25 to 45, so there should be plenty of people for him to talk to.
At the same meeting place there should be meetings for you called Al-Anon and for your son called Alateen.
Good Luck!
I think you are right. [2008-11-20]
I have had most of the day to think things over and cry. I did talk to him a bit and realize that it is mostly his pride (man-ness) that is the problem. I just have to stand my ground and not feel guilty for it, although I will anyway...I think that is just the female (or pregnant hormonal lol) way with feelings, etc.
I have also been thinking today that even though things are getting really tough, we have been able to pay our bills so far. It's really going to suck with the holidays especially but it will be past in a couple months and life will resume as normal. Who knows where we will be by then but for now things could be much worse. Even with all the headaches, stress, tears, etc. it could be much worse if we lost a job or...well I don't even want to think about the other horrible things that people go through.
Thanks for your support and understanding. Some times women just need to know that they aren't alone in their struggles.
Agree with below, don't bottle it up sm [2008-11-20]
I tend to do this also and ended up with shingles at the age of 14 and again at age 34 last year due to stress. Meeting new people as suggested by others is a great idea. If you want, trying visiting a local church. This is one of the things that helped me the most since I started going again. The socialization alone has been almost as good for me as the messages.
AA [2008-11-20]
Not someone from AA, a bunch of people! They love 12-step calls! They fight over who gets to go! It is a treat to help someone, to tell their horror stories to the new guy. They don't even care if they get the door slammed in their face! They will think is hilarious and tell the story in all their meetings! They are a happy bunch of guys and would love to help you out.
Dailystrength.com....an online community..sm [2008-11-20]
There It I No one bashes you, everyone understands, you meet people in the same boat, etc. Give it a try.
You I hope things work out for you and I wish there was something I could do tohelp. It What I can do, though, is be a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes the friends you cansee are the easiest to talk to. I know it is for me.
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