See again, my point is proven

You missed the point of my post [2008-11-24]
The only things she chose to complain about were nitpicky things -- what they serve for dinner. Most kids don Last time I checked PBJ and yogurt were pretty healthy. Her GS has ADHD. He isnbehave on command. Any MT would know that. First she complains because they don Instead of criticizing her kids, she should be trying to help the situation. Did she hit a nerve with me? Absolutely. My parenting skills are always being critiqued. From the time my oldest son was old enough to eat until about the age of 6, I had to pack PBJ everywhere we went. He refused to eat anything else. Was it because I didn It was because that My other child has ODD -- oppositional defiant disorder. Is it because I didn No, it I have 2 other children who are not like this. They were all raised in the same house under the same rules. I am constantly berated by my father for not cracking the whip on him and by my mother for being too strict. It Then after upsetting DS or DD, you can go back home and not be the one who on top of your feelings of inadequacy now has to deal with a difficult child. I could see if it the OP said the children were malnourished or not cleaned and clothed properly, but she She

a kid's point of view ...sm [2008-11-14]
I just had conversation with a fellow Sunday School teacher about what GIFTS would be good to give this kids this Christmas. At one point this gal asked her son (12 yrs. old) if he had any ideas what the kids would like to get. His response gee, mom, I thought Christmas was about GIVING, not getting. Out of the mouth of babes, right? !! Maybe it Bet your children are just glad to have a good mom !!

Not mandatory because it is for girls, at this point sm [2008-11-12]
I have wondered for some while if there is not a connection between HPV and prostate cancer. Given that males are infected at the same rates as females (with HPV), it should be given to boys too...who give it to us! Now, if there is ever a proven link between prostate CA and HPV, you will see it be mandatory so fast it will make your head swim. All you have to do it look at the procedures that are done for HPV infections of the cervix. I do them all the time. Girls at 16, 17, 18 in for their 2nd and 3rd conization of the cervix. The first one may cause an incompetent cervix, the 2nd one sure will and after a 3rd you won't carry a child to term. Did you know that a standard conization procedure removes the ENTIRE transformation zone and about 1/3 of the surface of the cervix? It does... The reason it is treated so aggressively is the extremely high rate of recurrence. Vaccinate your daughter, do it now, do not pass GO and collect $200. Just so you know, I see more HPV in the under 20 group, but there are plenty of married women in their early 20s with it and trying to get pregnant who have cone after cone.

Well you do have a point there... [2008-11-12]
I'd love to be waited on, pampered, spending their money...yeah! But I'd probably be the one on the other end who gets the crappy, nasty family. couldn't handle that...

my point... [2008-11-09]
And MY POINT IS that it doesn't matter what the breed of the dog is! Could've happened regardless of the breed of the dog. And just about ANY dog would growl, bark, nip, bite if it was abused.... wouldn't you if you were the dog being abused??? And who leaves an elderly frail person with 3 large dogs??? That's like leaving a toddler with 3 large dogs REGARLESS OF THE BREED! We have always had large dogs, but when my grandfather got elderly we had to watch the dogs around him cuz they would get caught up playing and trip him & he would fall to the ground and hurt himself, so leaving an elderly person by themselves is not a good idea with 3 large dogs, and that's my point also!

Why is it that when confronted with a different point of view, [2008-10-16]
passages from the bible? That seems to be some people's answer to everything they can't (or won't) understand. The bible (like the I-Ching, the Torah, the Quran, etc.) is merely a fundamental of one's belief, and passages and ideas can be tweeked and quoted in different contexts to come out meaning pretty much anything you want them to. That it why not of that can be taken literally - it's merely a rough draft, if you will. The thing is, you have every right to your beliefs, but you have no right to force others to conform to them so as not to offend you. You all need to grow thicker skins and realize that not everyone is going to want to limit themselves to a small, small way of thinking.

Excellent point! [2008-10-16]

Ok, I agree with that too. I guess I just wonder at what point you tell them they have sinned? (sm) [2008-10-16]
What if you were not a Christian, just non-religious, and someone of another religion came up to you and said that you were living a sinful life (if you were doing exactly what you are now) and that if you don't pray to their God for forgiveness you are going to suffer a terrible, painful eternity. Would you be inclined to listen to them? That's all I'm saying.

This is true scripture. However, I made a point [2008-10-16]
when the parishioners in Sunday School elevated themselves as better than the people who were not at church that day. I pointed out there are many reasons, such as having to work, or having to tend to a sick person, or being ill, including emotionally challenged. THey had no clue what I, as the Pastorus versus them disgusts me. Truly it does. BTW: I have to transcribe on Sundays, because my husband's Pastor job does not pay enough for me to quit and guess what, as MTs we have to work weekends. I work because I have to. And not because I am avoiding regular church, which BTW our denomination does not offer services other than Sunday morning.

The point is this should NOT happen every day - [2008-10-01]
The fact that some people think this is okay is why a lot of these kids are so out of control. Do you want everyone to wait to take action until itmad. IMO the only way to change that is to STOP making it okay.

And your point is what? I've been hanging out SM [2008-09-25]
with Sarah Palin and she has all kinds of tips. I hear moose if pretty plentiful and one or two should last you through the season. You might have to charter your own private plane, though. Happy hunting!

Exactly my point ! [2008-09-24]
I'm sick of the negativity about this job - if you don't like it,don't come here to p*ss and moan, go somewhere else.

Exactly my point [2008-09-24]
If you don't like it, you don't have to come here and read it either! You aren't going to change the way the hundreds of posters are here...you'd be better off changing what you do rather than complaining about others. Looks like you are just asking for an argument, I won't be providing it any further.

Point [2008-09-24]
Who pi__ed in your Wheaties this morning? Geez. Someone was just venting, something we all have been doing. There is a difference between moaning and actually fearing the loss of a job and the loss of income we have all experienced with ASR.

My point was simply.... [2008-09-18]
don't judge someone else when you have walked in their shoes. Your posts about the daughter you don't want in your life are pretty nasty and sounds like you are regretting that one. Yes using abortion as birth control is dysfunctional. Quit being so hateful!!!!!!

Umm.... what exactly is the point of your posts? [2008-09-09]
.

a different point-of-view [2008-09-01]
If you don Is it possible you If so, then I can see why he wouldn More than likely, he feels like he If he's not good enough for your daughter, why is he good enough to help you move?

Here's the pizza guy's point of view [2008-08-18]
http://tipthepizzaguy.com/

See again, my point is proven - [2008-07-01]
You are so concerned about your daughter and she is completely traumatized, and yet you haven All you I would have had my child to a therapist by now.

Ummmm, I think her point is that they should pay - sm [2008-07-01]
all the medical costs. What she should do is get all the bills/records from the insurance company and write to the insurance company copying the dog owners. The health insurance company will then go after the dog owners for payment of the hospital bills. They are getting off scot free from their dog injuring someone, I think that is the point MT is trying to make. Also a health insurance company can drop you too just like home owners or car, so if they are po'd about having to pay for the kids care when the dog owner should have paid for this, they could cancel their insurance (for the victim's family) and then the girl's family is doubly screwed. It sounds like the dog was impounded, but at home (this is what happened here when my neighbors dog bit me, totally unprovoked, dog just ran up to me and bit...barely broke the skin but dog did not have up to date shots--owners lied about that--dog was quarantied at home for 2 weeks then was allowed out after that)--From the sounds of it that is what happened here. I was somewhat traumatized and did not like to go out walking much after that but I got over it, it helped that the dog in question got hit and killed by a car though one of the times it was out running loose. ---Insurance companies love to pass the buck, so this would get some results. I fell last year on some ice and spained my shoulder really good, my insurance wrote me asking me where I fell, etc. so they could see if they could get $ from someone else, I had to disappoint them as I fell on my own front porch steps, guess I am lucky they didn't go after our homeowner's insurance, LOL.

Excellent point - love that !! nm [2008-06-23]
x

At this point I wish I had never started SM [2008-06-06]
coloring my hair because it is too difficult to stop. Over the counter products simply donyour hair is all gray or white. I am tired of paying every 4-5 weeks at the salon, but my hair grows so quickly that the white roots against the medium/dark brown hair just looks awful. Don't know what to do either. Good luck. I guess I am just not ready to look much older!

Well, that was kind of my point [2008-05-31]
I wasn My intention was that this young lady should be explained to by her parents the proper way to return a borrowed item for future reference (not that my son will be loaning anyone anything else). I agree that it I just think it shouldn't have went through that many hands in the first place.

wow good point!! [2008-05-10]
x

I see your point and agree - how bout this though [2008-05-05]
Maybe what I should have said was that maybe the mother should have told her daughter that if she is in the ER she should not be playing with her Game Boy, talking on the phone, and laughing and joking with the mom, and she should have at least acted as though she was sick. I think that's the point I was trying to make but it didn't come out right. I certainly do understand about people needing the ER for reasons (lousy day care, etc). Just for pitty's sake if your taking your daughter to the ER tell her to pretend she is sick and not play, laugh and talk on the cell phone.

When I was a teenager my mother had mono [2008-12-01]
My dad and the doctor (IMO) ingored the problem until she had such a high fever that she was halucinating. At that point I informed my dad that he had two choices, take her to the hospital or call 911. He took her in and they were all amazed at how bad she was. I know they gave her some kind of antibiotic. I could have shot my dad. He is a total hypochondriac and yet he would let her go that far.

men [2008-11-30]
Me and my husband used to smoke...a lot, each over two packs a day. I got sick and quit, but I did not ask him to quit. He would blow smoke in my face and really kept hoping I would start up again, but I never did. He was really angry with me for quitting. Then his ego could not take it anymore and he quit. He figured if I could do it, how hard could it be? Believe me, he was humbled. Anyone who quits smoking is humbled. Cigarettes are tough to beat. He was really mean to me when he was quitting smoking too like it was my punishment. My point is that no one ever tells you that sometimes you have to stand up to the ones you love, maybe your kids or your husband, whoever. Sometimes people we love take us forgranted or bully us. Maybe we think that if they loved us they would not put us through that stuff. I think the truth is we are just supposed to stand up for ourselves period, even at home. Good Luck!

I just need to VENT and see what you all think...Beware...this is long...sm [2008-11-30]
I have tried twice to tell this story but deleted it both times because the story is just too long so I will be as short as I can. I have a bunch of ROTTEN TO THE CORE sisters.My sisters are just about the worst people I have ever met in my whole 43 years on this planet. There is one who is especially bad and I just told my other sister that if she ever dies, to please not call me as I won I come from a very large family with 5 sisters and 1 brother with my brother being the oldest. He is not involved. He sort ofleft the family years ago because he couldn They did terrible things to him after his divorce. We rarely see him now.I am considered a scumbag and a loser because my husband and I don We don We don We can We love our children with everything in our souls. They have made fun of me and my husband and insulted us to our faces.My husband and I have a difficult marriage as he is tough to get along with so they hate my husband My sistershave all gone out to dinner without inviting me. I have found out because of someone They have made threats and sent rumors flying throughout the family, without me knowing, about calling DCYF on me. I heard that one too from a slip of the tongue. I cried for 2 hours in the shower that day. They talk about everyone and I mean everyone badly. They have awell known reputation ina couple of our towns here for being mean horrible girls. They are about as fake and phony as a person can get. Sweet and all smiles to your face and when you turn around, they stick that knife in as far as they can get it in. They have what they have in their lives because of what someone has given them. My sister had her property given to her by her in-laws. It is worth about $1,000,000. My other sister had land given to her by her husbandto lessen their mortage burden so now they owe almost nothing on their $500,000 house. They think they are fabulous people. They think they are the cat In the past years when we were all talking and I would be invited to a holiday, I was not spoken to at all the whole time I was there. I am a venter and I always have been so if my husband and I are fighting, I will always go to my older sister (one up from me) and vent and vent until I can She gets on the phone the second I leave and tells every person in my family what is going on. They in turn judge me and my husband, make their threats, and so on. This is also happening to my oldest sister and her partner (she is in a gay relationship but was always dating a man and was married twice) and my sister The three of us, me, my sister and her partner, and my sister We get along well. We are happy with each other. We don Whatever happens in each other lives, we just accept it and don I now attend holidays at my sister I don I don The sisters (I like to call them the Witches of Eastwick) all attend holidays with each other up at my sister The three of us are not invited. My older sister has a son. Several yeas ago, my sister and her partner had a terrible fight with him. He went to the witches and told them a bunch of lies and now they have pretty much shunned her and her daughter and me too because we still talk to her.I have a sister, who is involved in all of this, that I speak to on a regular basis. She is close to my kids or at least my oldest son. She pretty much ignores my other two children and they tell me, It She is the one who has spread rumors about me in the family trying to get everyone to call DCYF on me. I heard this too by a slip of the tongue from another sister a few years back. I tend to be a forgiving person so I quietly forgave her for this without her ever knowing that I knew what she was trying to do. Now that they are all inviited to the holidays up to my sister They are extremely fat just like her. These holiday trips up north are usually kept quiet and I only know about it the day before they are leaving to go, which is when she inevitably asks me to come feed her f******g cats. This is how Iknow that a big party is going on up at the cabin and once again only the chosen selected few are going. This is usually for 3 or 4 days and they get fed twice a day so I have to goto her house twice a day. Sometimes I have to give them medication and the last time she asked me, I even had to soak her sick cat She lives about 20 minutes away from me. This girl would NEVER, NEVER, EVER do this for me. My husband and I took our children on a cruise 3 years ago and we have a cat and I never asked her to do this for me as I know she would have laughed in my face. I have been feeding her cats for years now when she goes away. Keep in mind though that she was in the select chosen few to be invited up to the cabin. I was not as I am considered trash in the family. I am SICK AND TIRED of feeding this girl My sister who invites everyone to go is a mean, horrible, sadistic, vicious, backstabbing wretched b***h. No one will say anything to her like, Gee Pat, where is everyone else? Didn They could care less. All they know is that THEY were invited. Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. I cananymore. I have been thinking of this all day all weekend long. I am really to the point where I just don I am goingto tell my fat a** b***h sister to fnd another way to get her cats fed because I She is just using me and believe me when I tell you, she enjoys it. She is verydiabolical. She loves it that I am not invited and she and her husband are.She even questions me and counts the cat food cans to make sure that I came on all of the days they were gone. These people have balls of brass and I have had ENOUGH.I am just sitting and waiting patiently for the next time she says, Oh, we Can you come and feed the cats? I just canNo. I can I will never feed your cats again! Find some other sucker to do it! I believe that they are severely narcissistic people and this is nothing to take lightly.These types of people are very destructive. Do any of you have family members like this and what do you do about them? How do you stop them from making you feelsad, lonely, excluded andless than you are or deserve? I think it is time for me to cut all ties with them. I just can

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

Black Friday.... [2008-11-29]
I donshopon line), buy it and if it if not, oh well, makes no difference to me. My last Black Friday purchases were Cabbage Patch dolls (the FIRST incarnation of them many years ago) for my daughters. That was enough for me.

I have a very old Sunbeam egg cooker [2008-11-28]
makes soft, medium, and hard boiled eggs. It also has a point in the lid (where you measure the water for the type of egg you want) and you use this to put a hole in the end of the egg, so this may be true. I love this cooker. Uses no more than a 1/4 cup of water and automatically shuts off when the eggs are done. Never a guessing game. Don't know if they still sell them but I'll be in a world of trouble if this cooker dies. Of all the automatic counter-clutter devices I own, this one is my favorite.

lol...that is funny... [2008-11-26]
But I see your point...for Thanksgiving we just go to my in-laws and then Christmas we have to shuffle our kids from house to house between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...it does get annoying...

See inside [2008-11-26]
My daughter (now 19) has always had more guy friends than girls mostly because she does not care for the drama and backstabbing that many teenage girls engage in. What I would take into account is how your daughter acts around these boys--how does she dress (my daughter is an athlete--no low-cut shirts, short skirts, etc) and what are her mannerisms (too flirty or just chillin as friends) or do you see something more--watch the behavior. Have always welcomed all kids to hang out at my house--even though it has driven up my food bill--because I feel that way I know what they're doing, hear how they are acting/talking (they can forget you are around the corner), and I get to know who they are hangin with. As time goes by you can get to know who a lot of the kids are in your town including siblings and parents--have always made it a point to network, network, network--soccer games, helping in school, etc. Always offer to drive too--they will also sometimes forget you have ears up there in the driver's seat. I like to remind my kids that they don't know who I know so they should keep that in mind when out in public because you never know what could get back to me.

Most sales like that are NOT available on [2008-11-25]
line. The whole point of the early morning sales are to get people in the store.

We do not ban video games or TV in our house BUT [2008-11-25]
We do limit them. When Santa brought the gaming systems he also brought a contract for the parent's and child to sign limiting the amount of video games on week nights, weekends, and that it is at the parent's descretion if other things need to be completed first. We have never had an argument about video games in my house and my son is 10. He does not have the latest and greatest, and doesn't have many games. Part of Santa's deal was that any games would be as holiday/birthday gifts OR the child has to save up 1/2 the money and the parent's will pitch in the other 1/2. Surprising how much they don't want things that use their own money. We also make a point to play board games and such as a family. He helps with laundry, dishes, etc. and of course homework must be done (and checked by parent's) before any video/TV time. It has never been a problem at our house but I also think he knows that I would not hesitate to toss the sucker out the window if it did become a problem.

Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm [2008-11-25]
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think??

I have an old friend--or ex-friend really... [2008-11-24]
I let something stupid, the details of which I really cannot even remember fully get in the way of our friendship and I miss her terribly. I realize now that it was stupid and that one little let down - or big let down, for that matter - is not bigger than all the times that she was there for me. I was selfish and stupid and not as understanding as I should have been of where her life was at that point in time. Sometimes, I think that taking the back burner is what we need to do to be good friends. I wish that I had been older and a little more understanding when this little (should have been little, anyway) fight happened. I might still have my friend.

I have a BFA too, in metals though-sm [2008-11-24]
went in for design originally then got into metals work, jewelry, functional art stuff, unfornately you have to either make sometime mainstream that starts a fad and keep it fresh all the time, or die basically. I have known a few successful jewelers (worked for one of them) who just kind of fade out after a few years. I never hit it big, did so some good shows (juried only), never made a lot, had reps who peddled my stuff to local galleries for me, but have not done that in quite a while. Neighbor wants me to go with her and split costs at local craft fairs, but I really have never made any money that way. I love crafts though, into crochet though don't have the time for it. Recently got a very nice used table-top weaving loom and hope to use it at some point, maybe do some runners or placemats---took a weaving class my last semester, wish I'd done that sooner, really enjoyed it. Sounds like you have done a lot though. I have done just about everything you have listed there except the interior design, not really my thing, but have made clothes, and cakes, very good at those, and have had people suggest I do it for a living but both are so timeconsuming. I love gouche and acrylics, have never done oils, I am more into abstract though I do love landscapes just never tried them. My plan is once we get all the bills paid, the house, and kids are done college to get back in my jewelry.....this way my DH won't drive me nuts being home all the time too. Maybe I will put him to work wtih some fabrication and assembly!

What's done is done - See message [2008-11-24]
At this point, I would go get it back. If they borrowed it yesterday, they should be done with it. I'm sure you chewed out your hub to where he won't lend it out again, so hopefully you'll get it back in good condition and it will stay safely in your possession from here on.

Try to re-read the above couple of posts [2008-11-24]
about material things. It matters not if it's yours or your husbands (a little weird to me to begin with if you're married). I think you're missing the point.

Mine would have said, "No" but I hate that sm [2008-11-24]
You probably have a generous husband. Mine is but only with family, sometimes he is rude to the point I get upset. I would rather be nice about it, but then again, it sounds like an heirloom so with the holiday coming, just say, Hi, are you finished with my heirloom rolling pin, I can Then next time, say, Gee, sorry, the thing was so old, I guess you Just work around it and be happy you have a guy who shares. Mine drives me nuts when it comes to this subject, not a good sharer, what's his is his and don't dare borrow it!

Wow! Was a nerve hit??? [2008-11-24]
I didnLeave it to Beaver. That's just not the case. By the end of the 1960s and into the 1970s the pendulum had started to swing so far toward women having careers that we were often belittled for choosing to be home with the children. Remember Hillary Clinton's cookie baking comment during her husband's first campaign? In fact, stay-at-home moms were the norm for only one brief period in our history right after WW II in the post war boom times. There was a pretty awful recession in the 1970s, and I remember gas rationing and long lines at the pumps. My mother had to work two jobs, and my father, who was in construction, was often one of the first to feel economic ups and downs in his paycheck. But we had dinner together every night at the kitchen table. Before the stay-at-home mothers of 1950's t.v. fame, most mothers worked. They had to. Only the very privileged stayed home and waited for Ward Cleaver to come home from the office. My grandmother, who lived to be 94, God bless her soul, was born in 1908. Her mother died during the great Spanish flu epidemic in 1918. My grandmother was the eldest of four children, and at the age of 10 she became the woman of the house. She stopped going to school so that she could cook and clean and took care of her father and siblings. And no one thought that was wrong. It was expected because there really weren't any government social services -- no welfare, no foster care. Eventually, when her father's depression over the loss of his wife became so great that he couldn't manage to bring home an income, people in the neighborhood just took over. The two eldest children went to live with other families. The two youngest went to an orphanage. My grandmother's father just drifted away and his children never saw him again. My grandmother married at age 20 and had four children during the depression. Talk about having it hard. When I was a young mother trying to make ends meet and I'd cry to my grandmother, she brought me around to reality. She told me what it was like for her to raise children during that time. Many a night she cried over whether or not she could even feed her children or if they would have a roof over their heads. And she wasn't alone. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was in the same boat. The Great Depression was enormous. She and my grandfather worked wherever and whenever they could. They brought home a dollar or two at a time and fed their children buttermilk and potatoes. They didn't sleep, they worried all the time. Today, my grandmother's washboard hangs in my kitchen on the wall next to my dishwasher. It reminds me that I have no right to ever say that things are harder on us today. They aren't. Generally speaking, most Americans have so many more advantages, choices and opportunities than those who came before us. Yet many in my generation and the one or two generations behind me are just whiners and crybabies who don't think about the big picture. They even dare to say they have a harder time as parents today. Please. Not even close! Every generation seems to believe that, but just a short trip through a history book proves otherwise. I'm not that very old. But I've raised my children and I raised them well. I know what it takes to do that. It takes self-discipline, sacrifice and consistency. And you know what? That's exhausting. Parents today are tired. So what? All parents are tired. Offer it up, as the old nuns used to say. The kids have homework an hour a night. So what? They should have homework, and parents should make sure that it gets done, because education is important. There are parent-teacher meetings to attend, coaches association meetings, scout meetings, dance lessons, school recitals, etc. etc. etc. So what? Balance it out, quit what can't be done, do what can. Work because you have to. The kids have to be fed. It's still easier than it was a generation ago, two generations ago, three and on and on. We're parents to young ones for only a short time. Which reminds me, let's not forget about birth control. Most of us have 2-point-whatever children these days. I'm the youngest of 7. Most of the families in my neighborhood when I was growing up had 4 or more children. Today women can choose to have as many or as few children as they want. That means that we parent for far fewer years than the generations before us. I'm done with day-to-day parenting after just 20 years, and in fact, it got much easier on my day-to-day schedule once my boys were in high school. But my mother had children at home for 34 years. Imagine the number of cloth diapers for 7 children for year after year after year. Yes. I had it far easier, and I know it. So when I was exhausted raising my two boys, I just sucked it up and kept at it. The OP, I think, probably didn't want to be as blunt as I'm willing to be. She IS helping by babysitting her grandchildren while her children work. I'm sure she loves her children and grandkids, but I'm willing to bet that if she dared to say to her children the things I've posted, her children would react just as you did and she'd end up cut off from her family. To the OP: I hope it helped to vent a little, and I want you to know that I understand.

I have a BFA and am an artist sm [2008-11-23]
I am not, at this point, trying to make money at it. I have sold things in the past, however. Stuff I do: scratchboard landscape painting in watercolor and acrylic, some oils colored pencil drawings for really intense and detailed color reborning dolls I design and make rag dolls and their wardrobes soft sculpture stuff interior design (have done loads of this for money) silk ribbon embroidery and regular too crochet knitting tatting (needle and shuttle types) sewing (a particular passion because I design clothing, draft the patterns and make the item, always fits like a dream) decorate cakes which I have been paid for I don't quilt. Because I make garments I can't see the joy behind taking a big piece of fabric, cutting it into little pieces and sewing it back together to make a big piece of fabric. I know there is a lot more to it, but this is what stops me! I don't scrapbook because I don't need another hobby (see above). I especially appreciate the efforts of others with regard to scrapbooking and quilting, because I don't do these things. I have used my design skills to make a living. I am an extremely good costume designer and I have built some incredible costumes in my time. There is not a lot of money in community theater and more to the point, I don't like theater types. It is not my scene. I prefer to work in a solitary environment without a lot of other people's input. This is probably at the root of my being an MT. The money is good and I have enough time and funding to participate in my avocations.

500-800 Million and 12-15 years [2008-11-22]
to get something through the development process and submitted to FDA for approval. There is no incentive for the pharma or biotech companies to test an all natural product for safety and efficacy as they can't patent it and have exclusive rights in selling it. I can count on one hand the number of prescriptions I've taken in my life. I don't understand why people will take a med if its something that will run its course and your body will take care of. My doctor is great that way. He'll tell me there is a prescription, but if I'm willing to give it time I don't need to take anything. Much rather that...my belief is that every med has some level of toxicity. I'll suffer through a headache or achy bones before taking an over the counter. There is a point where I'll give in an pop a few pain relievers, but it has to be really bad.

No, I don't think they're hidden from us at all [2008-11-22]
Most people know, or can discover with a little research, that most of the things we get are easily preventable or cured, over time, by our own immune systems. Taking antibiotics for a cold is not only foolish, but dangerous. And not just for you, but for all of us. Itminor things. The best care you can give yourself, besides preventive care (stay out of the sun, you eat right, exercise, if you etc etc) is supportive care. If you donINTRUDER!!! ATTACK!!! Ideally I should be able to deal with my pain by growing my own natural remedies, but the Federal Government tends to frown on a garden full of opium poppies and marijuana plants. Willow bark just donhidden, they're just not encouraged or advertised. Being a heathen gives me a distinct advantage in the area of herbalism as we tend to try traditional remedies before running to the doctor. Even if I'm fairly certain that about half the time the traditional remedy makes you feel better because it's loaded with alcohol (in our case). No, drugs do NOT take too long to make it to market. They make it too quickly. Before AIDS hit it could take 30 years for a new drug to make it to market. Now they're being released so quickly they've not had time to test for long term effects. Vioxx is a good example of what can go wrong with that one. Who would have guessed using it long-term could kill you? It definitely damages your heart. That's just one of many drugs that were fast-tracked, that shouldn't have been, and that are now the focus of class action lawsuits after people have been injured or killed due to lack of long-term clinical studies. Are there drugs that made it to market quickly that have proven safe? Of course there are. Unfortunately there's no way for us to tell in advance how thoroughly something has been tested, how long it spent in R&D or how wide-ranging the clinical trials may have been. So we're all guinea pigs now. It really is a balance. I feel that for myself, itpersonal responsibility and we seem to have a dearth of it in this country.

Help is a safety net you have paid for sm [2008-11-21]
Food stamps are a safety net we all pay for, all forms of public assistance are things we have been paying for all along. TAKE the help you need! Do move closer to family if you possibly can. I have been in your shoes myself. I lost my home to foreclosure 4 years ago because of having a near-fatal drug interaction and losing my job of nearly 7 years. I made a couple of moves and finally ended up in a small town out of state from where I had lived for 30 years. I lived with a close friend for about 9 months and had the opportunity to buy a mobile home for $3000. The people I bought it from said I could make payments and I was able to pay it off in 5 months. It needed a lot of work and it has gotten it, most of which I have done myself. This project really helped me to regain parts of myself I had lost. It gave me a reason to get up and get going on my days off. I turned this ugly old thing into a lovely, comfortable home I cherish. I have lost about 50-60 lbs since living here and I have brought the idea of vastly cutting expenses in line with making more money. The end result is that I am very well off financially, better than in my entire life. DO get medication to help you if you can. I didn't have medication to help because I am allergic to every psychotropic in existence. I did this by pulling myself up by the boot straps, but if I could have had help, I would have. There IS a brighter future out there. You CAN have that brighter future because you DESERVE IT. That said, no one expects you to get there alone!!! Don't be embarrassed to ask and receive help. You will be able to help others later. Years ago, when my kids were young, I was a single parent, no support and it was Christmas time. My kids didn't even have adequate clothing or food. A neighbor I hardly knew handed me a Christmas card. Inside was a $100 gift card to K-Mart. She said that many years before that, she had been in my shoes and someone had given her $100 one Christmas, she was now paying this forward to me. The only provision was that I return this favor when I could, and that I bought something for myself too because I deserve nice things for my hard work. It was a turning point for me. I have been more of a giver since. Although I could have paid this back last year, I didn't know anyone who would appropriately benefit. This year, I do and I had to tell her that I was going to do this and why. She cried and felt embarrassed because, she said, she was usually in the position to give and it hurt a little to receive. I reminded her that she was GIVING me the gift of giving with pleasure. Others are going to give to you with pleasure, love, friendship and concern for your well being. TAKE IT. One day you'll post back here about how good things are and I'll want to hear it.

I actually am more afraid of who is in [2008-11-20]
the kitchen than I am of the meat, especially our local restaurant because I see him shopping at the same store I go to and they are a family owned business here for a number of years. But I certainly see your point.

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.

make a call [2008-11-20]
Look in the phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous and call the central office. Tell them you need someone to make a 12-step call. Someone from your local area who is in AA will come over to your house and talk to your husband and you can leave with the kids during this time. By the time you get back, your husband will have decided whether or not he will sober up. Usually the person he talked to will assume responsibility for taking him to the meetings or finding someone who will sponsor him. So you are off the hook at this point. On the other hand, he may decide no thanks and then you will have your real answer. AA is free and pretty crowded with new people around the holidays, so the timing is good. The average age of a person coming into AA is 25 to 45, so there should be plenty of people for him to talk to. At the same meeting place there should be meetings for you called Al-Anon and for your son called Alateen. Good Luck!

I've been there [2008-11-20]
I have been in your shoes. Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm). That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I I canhow depressed III am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in. The poster above is right. You need to see a doctor. I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money. Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance. They will not refuse you. I found a clinic near my house that is part of a largehospital. I was able to see a doctor for a physicalandget my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge. They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again. They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month. Move closer to your family. You My family has been supportive of all the decisions I Spend time with yourgrandchild, kids can make you feel so much better.If you I did. I didn Forjust myselfI was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped outtremendously. I know it You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet. It may take a while, but you will make it. Good luck to you.