She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm)

No where either. My mother didn't raise any foolish kids. LOL nm [2008-11-28]
nm

If you tell your kids that Santa Claus is real [2008-11-26]
I don nephew are 5 mos. old) it if they find out you lied there will be consequences and other remarks like that. We were talking the other day and without even thinking we were talking about how Uncle Joey usually dresses as Santa but this year we might want to ask his son to take over and our friends child heard our discussion. Well, she got so mad because we were insensitive to her daughter and we don Come to find out that her kids all think Santa is real. The oldest is 17, well, I So I wondered if she is lying to her children by telling them santa claus is real?

both my kids figured it [2008-11-26]
My kids never believed in Santa, and they would ask is there one and I would say yes, and change the subject because my kids have big mouths and would have marched into preschool and educated everyone else. So the answer is yes, change the subject, donhonest with your kids. We just minimalized the importance of it and get on with the rest of christmas.

LOL!!! My kids would probably like your name [2008-11-25]
xx

I think you are doing the best thing for your kids [2008-11-25]
My youngest is now 21, but I was much the same kind of mother you are. I hated video games from the first time they came out and my boys NEVER had any of them. We played lots of board games, they had a few little computer games, but none of the Nintendos or any of that stuff. They built stuff with Legos, played with each other, played outside in the yard and probably their favorite things were large cardboard boxes and their imaginations. My kids have grown up to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted, much more so than their couch-potato, gamer peers. So hang in there!

This all comes down to the parents [2008-11-25]
I think those women are making a big mistake. I love my sister and nephew, don But he is like that 7 yo and it drives me crazy. BUT my sister and BIL are to blame, I feel. He gets a toy every time they He gets a new toy if he My sister feels guilty if he likes something and she doesn They buy him major video games just because, instead of reserving these things for birthdays or Christmas. They will go out and buy him a $200 item in the middle of the week and when I ask what the occasion is? Nothing, we just thought he'd like it! He is well behaved and they don Yes, it Growing up when we would talk, my sister had definite opinions about what she would and would not do when she had children, and this is not how she felt back then. But he doesn In my opinion, they Just my opinion.

My sister's kids play video games [2008-11-25]
constantly and have for a decade.They always have to have the latest game. She has 4 kids - 3 are obese and one is overweight. We don I I know my husband has wanted to get one. I have 3 kids and they are all very slender. They aren It's a health issue to me, and also a mental health issue, because they are addictive.

my grandmother made them, I think [2008-11-24]
she would change the water to lessen the strong flavor and then made a cheese sauce. Roasted sounds good.

Looking for turkey day suggestions for fussy kids who hate everything but brownies! [2008-11-24]
Everything else is greeted with - yuck only the grownups eat anything. Posted below what the grownups like. Now if I could get the kids to eat!

Selfish parents [2008-11-24]
People are selfish these days...no one wants to be bothered with their own kids...and before you think I am TOO old, I am only 49 with 18 and 24 year old sons. I A DD too sounds like she resents having to help her children with homework and extracurricular activities. That is the price you pay for the joy of raising your children...get over it. My dh and I have been active in our kids sports and school all their lives and it just shocks me at how many people give their 8-10 year olds $20 and tell them go play somewhere while they are out at a hockey rink, or school gym and these are the kids causing trouble or running around like banchees. Someone could snatch them up at any time and then they Also I Before my kids started kindergarten they knew their numbers, colors, letters, could print their name and could read some words, because my husband and I spent the time with them to teach them, spent time WITH them. that is what you do when you're a parent...sorry but this is my biggest pet peeve about parents today.

Giving/lending should be a choice [2008-11-24]
I prefer to make the decisions as to what, if any, possessions of mine should be loaned, and to whom. If I If I then discover its been spirited out of the house by a loved one, it feels like a betrayal. The government already takes whatever it deems necessary out of my paycheck so I can be anonomously generous towhoever they deemneedy. It is very, very easy to be generous with other people Example - next time someone wants to borrow something from me, we Obviously you won I'll try really hard to remember to tell you I decided to do that, so you can feel as great about it as I do.

My kids and I are chocoholics [2008-11-24]
and one of the recipes that we love and is really simple is the No-Bake Cookies. That's what we called them when I made them (all the time!) as a kid. Also called Refrigerator Cookies, and the recipe I use today, from a cookbook my Mamama gave me that her church put together, calls them Quick Fudge, I believe. I call them Chocolate-Oatmeal-Peanut Butter Yum-Yums. They are made with sugar, butter, and cocoa boiled, then add the peanut butter, quick oats, and vanilla, dropped on waxed paper and cooled, then chilled in the fridge. If you want to make them post here and I'll grab the recipe tomorrow to give the quantities. Also, I absolutely love Pine Bark, and it is very easy to make as well. Lots of recipes for that on-line. Have fun!

Oooh, my mom made that too! [2008-11-24]
Thanks for the memory, I'll probably make some soon!

My mom has made money [2008-11-23]
My mom made some beautiful quilts. Some she did sell at fairs. Also the quilt guild I used to belong to made quilts to donate to unwed mothers and other organizations. My mom's guild used to donate quilts to cancer wards in a hospital and hospice organizations. If I had more time I would do something like that, but I haven't done any quilting in a long time. Never enough time to do anything.

My kids like them also but...... [2008-11-21]
They also know that money spent elsewhere is money that takes away from their gifts :). Two of the three have birthdays in December, so that makes a difference. December is a killer for me but at least I get it all knocked out at once and have another year to plan!

Wellbutrin here, it's made a 200% difference in how I feel. (nm) [2008-11-21]
xx

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.

Has anyone ever made any extra...sm [2008-11-19]
money selling things on ebay? I have went through the closets and have a lot of things I need to get rid of. I am posting them on ebay. After selling those things I may open an ebay store with things I may buycheap and resell. I even thought about making little throw pillows and throws and things. I can make pillows. My mom is great at sewing and I can sew some things. Just a thought. Anything to make some extra cash. Has anyone had success selling on ebay?

Dogs v kids [2008-11-18]
I am a sucker for a pretty face & don't have kids, so I am at my dogs' mercy. You should see their stockpile of dog treats. It's ridiculous. School lunches. $2 a day! Doesn't sound like a lot for a meal, but it sure adds up...you would think they would give you some kind of deal because you have 3 kids. I guess I'm assuming they all go to the same school. Now I'm dating myself, but when I was in elementary school I think it cost 40 or 45 cents for lunch. A nickel for milk. Amazing!

Anybody watching the kids [2008-11-18]
on Dancing With The Stars? Good golly, those kids are good. Must take a good deal of discipline to get that far. Love it.

Subaru - made in Indiana. nm [2008-11-17]
.

Toyota Camry but made in the US...sm [2008-11-17]
I don't think I'll ever go back to a Ford or a Chevy after having this Camry. I love it. My DH was always a Ford guy and he says his next vehicle will most likely be a Toyota.

Hope venting made you feel better... [2008-11-16]
The thing that struck me the most in your post is that you help a friend by listening to dictation. Is this during *your* work hours? If so, try not to answer the phone. I know, it sounds so simple, but if you have kids, this can betough. Anyhow, if the friend asks why you are not answering, tell her you need to focus on getting lines so you can pay your monthly bills (stress this!). Maybe she will get the hint. I had to do this when a coworker called me constantly. I As for the friends working when they were asked not to, well, unfortunately, it is a supervisors/managerHopefullys/he will take care of this. Good luck.

Any chance you could visit family or a friend... [2008-11-16]
for a few days when he leaves the dogs? Or simply tell DH that you will only take care of your guys? Let hubby experience what a job it is. I have a cat and a large black lab and those two alone can keep me pretty busy. Can I believe in karma, and you have a giant reward coming your way one of these days, as domany of you other kind-hearted posters.

I'm glad he made you smile...sm [2008-11-14]
He makes me smile every time I look at him. Here's another pic just to make your day...lol

Tell her you've gone into the petsitting business [2008-12-01]
(In my area petsitters charge $20 per visit for one animal, $5 extra for each additional animal in the household. That doesn't include extras like walking dogs, giving medications, etc. If she expects you to take a cat to the vet if it gets sick while she's away, she should leave you a signed, blank check made out to the local emergency veterinary medical center. Most won't let you in the door for less than $500, and won't treat the animal 'til that's paid. My guess is your sis would be inclined not to pay you back if it were to come out of your pocket. Might consider having her sign a waiver of liability, too.)

Oh, do I remember! [2008-12-01]
It was a big deal around Christmas time. We'd take the bus or train to a store in another town because they had a Christmas display made up of moving figures as big as a 3-yo child. People would come from miles around to see it. We hadtwo 5dimes in our town right aside of each other. One was modern, bright lights and big display windows complete with a lunch counter and all open displays. The other was dark with all wood shelves and bins, so cramped only2 people could fit in the aisles if they turned sideways. This store also had the candy in glass cases that you paid for by the pound. We also had another old general store like the older 5 dime but he even sold shoes. He had a pair of red shoes with bow ties on them in the window one year. I wanted them so bad because they matched a skirt I had at the time, but they were $10. I only got an allowance of $.50 a week. I was afraid it would take me forever to save the money. Our school's magazine sale was going on at the time and I worked hard to sell as many as I could to win the $10 prize. I won and bought the shoes. It was one of the happiest days in my life.

These 10 things definitely ain't right: [2008-12-01]
1) MTSOs who want people with top-notch skills and experience, but don't want to pay them what that skill is worth. 2) HMO's: So-called *health-maintenance-organizations* --yet they spend every minute and every dime of their far-too-large profits on denying healthcare, meds and procedures to their patients. These organizations have ruined American healthcare, and many American lives. HMO's have been a con-game since their inception. 3) The Bailouts: Giving money to companies who can too bad for the rest of you.* Then the Big Three show up in DC to beg for a handout, and fly there in private Lear jets. My answer to them would be, *I too bad for the rest of you.* 4) Apartment managers that won't allow even a single quiet, well-behaved pet, but will rent to people with continually screaming small children, and out-of-control older children and teens. Give me the pets for neighbors, ANY day. 5) Businesses that give an age-discount to absolutely everything that walks, runs or flies, but not to the middle-aged middle-class, who need it the most. Take the ski-industry: Young children ski for next-to-nothing, and sometimes nothing. There is a Teen Discount. There is a Student Discount for college kids. There I'll probably never be old enough - it's a carrot-on-a-stick, always just out of reach.) There are even corporate (UGH) discounts. But for those in my age group, who barely make ends meet but like to go up once a year for a couple days of bliss, there is NOTHING. 6) Travel-lodging deals that are always based on double or quadruple occupancy. What about singles? NOTHING. 7) TV commercials that are about a million decibels louder than the regular shows. Why can't it all be the same volume? Same with online newscasts. THEIR commercials will blow your eardrums out if you aren't quick enough turning down the volume before they start. 8) Surround-sound: Everything is too loud, already! Why do we need it coming at us from 4 directions? Why do people living in tiny apartments feel they need it? I've lost count of how many fights I've had with neighbors over this issue. Same with movies and music concerts. Why do they feel we need to feel the music in our SPLEENS? I went to Universal Amphitheater last week. (Now named something else). There is actually a sign outside warning that the decibel level inside might damage your hearing! (?!?!?!) Why do they need this? (To avoid lawsuits, obviously). If it's so loud you have to post a warning sign outside the entrance, then DUH.... it's TOO LOUD! 9) Banks that charge you a fee to use their ATM. They (I haven't actually been INSIDE a bank in YEARS).... and they want to charge US for using the machines instead of the tellers? Forget it. I won't give those banks my business. 10) The Post Office: Talk about rewarding slow, inept performance! The worse their employees are, the longer they seem to stay there. I'd rather have a root canal than go to a P.O. during the holiday season.

crazier every day sm [2008-12-01]
Kids who need designer labels, theme birthday parties, karate, guitar, piano, dance, gym, swim,baseball, soccer all in one week, both parents have to work their kiesta off to pay for all this stuff and the kid has to go to therapy because they are acting tired in school and are always bored in the few minutes they do have at home. They also need food that is on the acceptable food pyramid from the expensive organic markets but end up eating Kraft mac cheese, the orange kind, that they slipped into the carriage when dad or gramma stopped at the store. Oh well, they used to say you have to eat a peck of dirt before you die - not in todayAnd PS - all that expensive cream we put on our faces (if we did) announced today on all stations that they don't WORK! Back to Vaseline!

I agree with Stardust and Deb...... [2008-12-01]
your sisters are toxic and you need to let them go. Even though they are family, there is no reason why you have to put up with that crap. When people take away your happiness knowingly, it is time to let go. It sounds as though you have done all you could and things obviously are not going to get better. Keep your relationship with your older sister but cut ties with the others. I have an aunt who is like that. Unfortunately she is 80 so because of that, I try to suck it up but it is so hard. If she were younger, I would have cut all communication long ago. She is abusive, insults me at every chance, etc. Funny how I am the only one who calls her every two days and goes up to see her all the time. When I call or go up, it is very stressful. I know what you are dealing with and no one should have to feel inadequate at the expense of another person.

Do you have a store that sells the little [2008-12-01]
discs of chocolate to melt that are more for candymaking? These work the best as the parafin is already in the candy, so they set better. You could try also anywhere that sells supplies for baking cakes to see if they have the candy-making chocolate discs. Also, you may want to let the peanut butter balls sit before coating, as I think it has something to do with the oil in the peanut butter. Let them sit to dry before coating with any type of chocolate. Candies that are homemade should be stored in tins with wax paper in a cool dry place and not necessarily in the refrigerator. If you do store in the refrigerator make sure the container is air tight as the chocolate will pick up the flavors of other things in your refrigerator, i.e., onions... My mother made homemade candies; all types! RIP: Mom; we

I make these every year. [2008-12-01]
After making the peanut butter part I put the balls in the freezer to get hard. This also makes the chocolate coating a little thicker which my family likes. After dipping in chocolate they return to the freezer. Once hard I put them in air tight containers or ziploc bags and store in the freezer. They come back to room temp very nicely or you can eat them frozen which my son likes. I have had them in my freezer for about 3 months before and they have been just like the day I made them. Of course I usually have to hide them well if I want them to last more than a week. :) I use regular chocolate chips and about a 1/2 inch square of parafin to 1 bag. How many bags, depends on the recipe. I usually make a huge batch when I make these but I think the standard recipe is 1 bag. Oh, I have also found it easier to make if you stiffen the peanut butter mixture up a little with extra powdered sugar. When short on time, I have even mixed enough powder sugar to be able to roll without refridgerating first. If you want a little twist on tradition, they are great to add a cashew or peanut inside the ball or mix in cereal to the peanut butter mixture, rice crispies are yummy.

I remember. [2008-11-30]
My parents used to take us downtown once a year to shop and look at the display windows. Then we would eat at one of the department stores. Dad would take half the kids and mom would take the other half so we could all buy for each other. I remember one year when I was about 6 I was with my dad and my sister and I saw this beautiful red coat I wanted to get mom. We took it up to the counter and my dad told us to give the lady our money. Between us we had 35 cents. We gave it to her and she wrapped it up for us. My dad still tells that story today, how we bought mom a coat for 35 cents. We never did see him give the saleslady the rest of the money, and it was sweet how she played along.

LOL - that reminds me of the other day when [2008-11-30]
my 7 year old son came home from school. He asked me did I know that kids used to not speak unless spoken too. I told him what a wonderful concept that was that we've lost over the years. He just looked at me horrified. His expression was priceless! :)

I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm [2008-11-30]
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles. We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time! I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that. But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother. Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.

2 problems with hubby - any advice??? [2008-11-30]
Problem #1: His hearing. He will not go to the doctor, complains to me all the time that he can not hear me and talks SO loud. I can't tell him anything in the stores or I might as well announce it over the loud speaker which in turn creates an argument (hence, miserable day out shopping yesterday). Problem #2:I dread this time of year with him. He turns into this greedy person that is beyond comprehension for me. Every time he opens his mouth it I always grew up being thankful for what I got and can I never ask for items for Christmas - I appreciate the thoughtfulness that a person puts into getting me something (even if it I also believe the kids come first (3, 2 of which are teenagers) and we buy for them first but it seems I always have to budget my money for the kids and then for him. He does not like inexpensive items either. The last few months I'm the only one who has bought gifts for the kids - he hasn't spent any of his money and is counting on a bonus from his employer that may or may not come through and you never know how much it's going to be. Sorry - and thanks for letting me vent. I've been so stressed lately.

It sounds like she needs brushing, but [2008-11-30]
not a bath right now. You might find a kid right in your neighborhood who would brush her for you for a small fee - their first job. That's assuming your dog has a tolerance for kids and brushing. But I know you don't want to put water on a tangled dog. Always treat the tangles before a bath. My Siberians could go 6 months or longer without a bath most of the time. It depends on the coat and whether the dog has an odor or oily skin or skin problems.

Hubby with hearing and greedy problems [2008-11-30]
Dear NOT Silly Girl, I am a clinical psychologist and now teach medical transcription. I lost my deaf old sweetie 2 years ago. He was incredibly vain about wearing aids and/or his glasses. FINALLY got him to an audiologist in Canada (half the price than here in US) but getting him to wear the aids was another matter. Solved it by training just like dog or horse. Yep! Intermittent positive reinforcement - rewards, treats, smooches, etc. I told him I would only go out to dinner or shopping with him if he wore the hearing aids. Refused to go out of house with him unless he had them on -- and he loved going out! It worked, except then I still had to repeat everything 3 times inside! Many, many frank discussions also helped. Turned out he was incredibly vain and thought he looked old with hearing aids. I finally convinced him that shouting at people REALLY made him look old. He got contacts instead of glasses. As to self-centeredness, that has to be educated out of him, too. All this takes time. Just talk to him about values whenever he acts that way, and when he stops the selfishness, reward him. That is not acceptable behavior in an adult -- and I would tell him so directly. Good luck. Rosie By the way, I would take

men [2008-11-30]
Me and my husband used to smoke...a lot, each over two packs a day. I got sick and quit, but I did not ask him to quit. He would blow smoke in my face and really kept hoping I would start up again, but I never did. He was really angry with me for quitting. Then his ego could not take it anymore and he quit. He figured if I could do it, how hard could it be? Believe me, he was humbled. Anyone who quits smoking is humbled. Cigarettes are tough to beat. He was really mean to me when he was quitting smoking too like it was my punishment. My point is that no one ever tells you that sometimes you have to stand up to the ones you love, maybe your kids or your husband, whoever. Sometimes people we love take us forgranted or bully us. Maybe we think that if they loved us they would not put us through that stuff. I think the truth is we are just supposed to stand up for ourselves period, even at home. Good Luck!

Times gone by......... sm [2008-11-30]
I remember when I was a child the dime store in our town. It had everything from pencils to yard goods to toys to old medicinal remedies. They had a wonderful candy counter where you bought your candy by weight. You made your selection from the glass-fronted counter that was juuuuust above eye level for a small child. The clerk would scoop out the desired amount of candy with an old brass candy scoop and weigh it on an old balance scale. Then she would put the candy in a little white paper sack. There were all kinds, jelly beans, butterscotch that melted in your mouth, peppermint that really cleared the sinuses, and wonderful little maple goodies to name but a few. It tasted so much better than candy tastes these days. And yes, they had Evening in Paris and Old Spice and hankies for both mom and dad. I even held my very first job there in high school where I helped take inventory every year right after Christmas. We had to count each and every item (well, probably not the jelly beans) by hand. I remember counting boxes and boxes of pens and pencils and rulers. I miss that store as it closed down many years ago when the big discount houses started opening up in the nearby big town.

Raising.......... sm [2008-11-30]
We had raising in those days. I think that is something that seems to be disappearing from society today at an alarming rate. I can remember my mother giving me the big hairy eye if she even thought it looked like I was hinting for something. Kids today just come right out and ask for what the want....or demand it.

I just need to VENT and see what you all think...Beware...this is long...sm [2008-11-30]
I have tried twice to tell this story but deleted it both times because the story is just too long so I will be as short as I can. I have a bunch of ROTTEN TO THE CORE sisters.My sisters are just about the worst people I have ever met in my whole 43 years on this planet. There is one who is especially bad and I just told my other sister that if she ever dies, to please not call me as I won I come from a very large family with 5 sisters and 1 brother with my brother being the oldest. He is not involved. He sort ofleft the family years ago because he couldn They did terrible things to him after his divorce. We rarely see him now.I am considered a scumbag and a loser because my husband and I don We don We don We can We love our children with everything in our souls. They have made fun of me and my husband and insulted us to our faces.My husband and I have a difficult marriage as he is tough to get along with so they hate my husband My sistershave all gone out to dinner without inviting me. I have found out because of someone They have made threats and sent rumors flying throughout the family, without me knowing, about calling DCYF on me. I heard that one too from a slip of the tongue. I cried for 2 hours in the shower that day. They talk about everyone and I mean everyone badly. They have awell known reputation ina couple of our towns here for being mean horrible girls. They are about as fake and phony as a person can get. Sweet and all smiles to your face and when you turn around, they stick that knife in as far as they can get it in. They have what they have in their lives because of what someone has given them. My sister had her property given to her by her in-laws. It is worth about $1,000,000. My other sister had land given to her by her husbandto lessen their mortage burden so now they owe almost nothing on their $500,000 house. They think they are fabulous people. They think they are the cat In the past years when we were all talking and I would be invited to a holiday, I was not spoken to at all the whole time I was there. I am a venter and I always have been so if my husband and I are fighting, I will always go to my older sister (one up from me) and vent and vent until I can She gets on the phone the second I leave and tells every person in my family what is going on. They in turn judge me and my husband, make their threats, and so on. This is also happening to my oldest sister and her partner (she is in a gay relationship but was always dating a man and was married twice) and my sister The three of us, me, my sister and her partner, and my sister We get along well. We are happy with each other. We don Whatever happens in each other lives, we just accept it and don I now attend holidays at my sister I don I don The sisters (I like to call them the Witches of Eastwick) all attend holidays with each other up at my sister The three of us are not invited. My older sister has a son. Several yeas ago, my sister and her partner had a terrible fight with him. He went to the witches and told them a bunch of lies and now they have pretty much shunned her and her daughter and me too because we still talk to her.I have a sister, who is involved in all of this, that I speak to on a regular basis. She is close to my kids or at least my oldest son. She pretty much ignores my other two children and they tell me, It She is the one who has spread rumors about me in the family trying to get everyone to call DCYF on me. I heard this too by a slip of the tongue from another sister a few years back. I tend to be a forgiving person so I quietly forgave her for this without her ever knowing that I knew what she was trying to do. Now that they are all inviited to the holidays up to my sister They are extremely fat just like her. These holiday trips up north are usually kept quiet and I only know about it the day before they are leaving to go, which is when she inevitably asks me to come feed her f******g cats. This is how Iknow that a big party is going on up at the cabin and once again only the chosen selected few are going. This is usually for 3 or 4 days and they get fed twice a day so I have to goto her house twice a day. Sometimes I have to give them medication and the last time she asked me, I even had to soak her sick cat She lives about 20 minutes away from me. This girl would NEVER, NEVER, EVER do this for me. My husband and I took our children on a cruise 3 years ago and we have a cat and I never asked her to do this for me as I know she would have laughed in my face. I have been feeding her cats for years now when she goes away. Keep in mind though that she was in the select chosen few to be invited up to the cabin. I was not as I am considered trash in the family. I am SICK AND TIRED of feeding this girl My sister who invites everyone to go is a mean, horrible, sadistic, vicious, backstabbing wretched b***h. No one will say anything to her like, Gee Pat, where is everyone else? Didn They could care less. All they know is that THEY were invited. Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. I cananymore. I have been thinking of this all day all weekend long. I am really to the point where I just don I am goingto tell my fat a** b***h sister to fnd another way to get her cats fed because I She is just using me and believe me when I tell you, she enjoys it. She is verydiabolical. She loves it that I am not invited and she and her husband are.She even questions me and counts the cat food cans to make sure that I came on all of the days they were gone. These people have balls of brass and I have had ENOUGH.I am just sitting and waiting patiently for the next time she says, Oh, we Can you come and feed the cats? I just canNo. I can I will never feed your cats again! Find some other sucker to do it! I believe that they are severely narcissistic people and this is nothing to take lightly.These types of people are very destructive. Do any of you have family members like this and what do you do about them? How do you stop them from making you feelsad, lonely, excluded andless than you are or deserve? I think it is time for me to cut all ties with them. I just can

This shows what one person, acting [2008-11-29]
upon their thoughts, can do. Look how many lives were touched and the day made special. thanks for sharing.

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

I feel exactly the same way. [2008-11-29]
When my siblings and I started having kids, we agreed not to buy for each other's families. That has worked out fine. This year, we have NO money. Even though we still have our same jobs, it seems like more money is going out than is coming in. I don't quite understand where the money is going myself, try explaining that to family. I would just like to completely forget Christmas this year. I would even volunteer to work to get out of it. Don't feel bad about being bitter. I find myself getting tired of having no money and having to explain why we can't do the things we used to do all the time. I've started preparing the kids for Christmas, telling them it is going to be real skimpy around here. They are old enough to understand but whether they believe me is another thing.

Has society become this bad and why [2008-11-29]
I saw the post down below about the Wal-Mart worker. Here is a new article that just came out (link below). The police are now looking at video surveillance to see who trampled this poor worker to death. Personally I hope they find all responsible and prosecute them to the fullest. It doesn I like their store just fine, it is what society is doing to people that nobody even bothered to stop and help this person. I grew up in the 60s/70s in a small town in New England. Maybe I'm old fashioned but my parents/grandparents taught me better than this. I just can And for what? Getting a Christimas item? This is one of many reasons why I do my Christmas shopping (what very little I do) online and gift cards. I think the traditions of the big shopping day the day after Thanksgiving should go away. I really donlove thy neighbor, not trample, bite, and spit at them so you can grab that item. (BTW - you can shop online at Walmart too). I think to myself that I thought the spirit of Christmas was supposed to celebrate Christ. Oh yeah, I'm sure he is so proud of people like those who harm others and cause death so they can get what they want. I hope those guilty are sitting at home worrying about whether or not their face is going to show up on the video camera. http://apnews.myway.com/article/20081129/D94OJ4NG0.html

Thanksgiving [2008-11-29]
1939 to 1940 Abraham Lincoln href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franklin_D._Roosevelt>Franklin D. Roosevelt broke with this tradition. November had five Thursdays that year, and Roosevelt declared the fourth Thursday as Thanksgiving rather than the fifth one. In 1940, in which November had four Thursdays, he declared the third one as Thanksgiving. Although many popular histories state otherwise, he made clear that his plan was to establish it on the next-to-last Thursday in the month instead of the last one. With the country still in the midst of The Great Depression, Roosevelt thought an earlier Thanksgiving would give merchants a longer period to sell goods before Christmas. Increasing profits and spending during this period, Roosevelt hoped, would help bring the country out of the Depression. At the time, advertising goods for Christmas before Thanksgiving was considered inappropriate.

LOL It went well. Thank you to everyone for helping! [2008-11-28]
I felt bad because none of the friends or extended family that she invited showed up. They all called to cancel. We did not have leftover Turkey but plenty of desert and rolls. She bought 45 dinner rolls?! I think some of you are right that this is the beginning of sundowning for them. I will have to explain this to my husband because he just thinks they are losing their minds. I heard from another family member that MIL has a stash of a case candy bars in her closet and yesterday she went in the bedroom for cookie sheets to put the biscuits on. A little odd, especially being that they have extra storage area in the basement. I think FIL took it as it was just that much less food that cost him money because he was so happy that I brought as much food as I did and kept saying how much he loved the veggie tray, etc. I think MIL was a little miffed when I got there because she didnstay the heck out of my kitchen and keep your opinion to your self and afterwards he gets the look of You have always been my favorite child, thank you LOL But I understand things are different with moms and their own kids versus the spouse, especially with females. So overall it turned out well and everyone had plenty to eat. We didn't have to run out for burgers or home for dinner.

after my shift...sm [2008-11-28]
I was in Walmart for 10 minutes because there was non-Christmas stuff that I needed and then I went to the grocery store, which was not crowded at all. I was going to go to Target for 1 thing until I saw the parking lot. Not a chance! That 1 thing wasn't that important. This is the first time I've gone shopping on Black Friday in years. It was good to reminded why I don't do it.

I think I am anti-gift giving this year [2008-11-28]
Money is so tight right now I am no sure how I am going to pay my bills this December.I had some unexpectedbills come up that needed to be taken care of. On top of that, I have to come up with X-mas gifts for everyone and they do not like cheap things. Their idea of cheap is hand-made and they do not like it. So that is out. I just got a part-time job but that is not going to kick in a whole lot of money until closer to the end of the year. I would like to opt out of gift giving this year but if I suggest it I get the lecture from family members of what do you do with your money?, what are you spending it on? and other invasive questions. The other unforunate thing is I live in the same town with them. The most inexpensive thing on my niece She is not careful with these and she has already gone through so many. To top it all off I have 3 birthdays in December. I really hate this time of year. Any suggestions on how to tell them to just buy for them and not for me and let me out of this so-called family time? Sorry to be so bitter.