Summer Gardens will be worth it this year.

My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays [2008-12-01]
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.

I make these every year. [2008-12-01]
After making the peanut butter part I put the balls in the freezer to get hard. This also makes the chocolate coating a little thicker which my family likes. After dipping in chocolate they return to the freezer. Once hard I put them in air tight containers or ziploc bags and store in the freezer. They come back to room temp very nicely or you can eat them frozen which my son likes. I have had them in my freezer for about 3 months before and they have been just like the day I made them. Of course I usually have to hide them well if I want them to last more than a week. :) I use regular chocolate chips and about a 1/2 inch square of parafin to 1 bag. How many bags, depends on the recipe. I usually make a huge batch when I make these but I think the standard recipe is 1 bag. Oh, I have also found it easier to make if you stiffen the peanut butter mixture up a little with extra powdered sugar. When short on time, I have even mixed enough powder sugar to be able to roll without refridgerating first. If you want a little twist on tradition, they are great to add a cashew or peanut inside the ball or mix in cereal to the peanut butter mixture, rice crispies are yummy.

And sad to say, a lot of people this time of year are mean and cranky... [2008-11-29]
I am basically done with my Christmas shopping as well...I have found in the past that if I had something in mind and waiting until after Thanksgiving, it would be out of stock and I would have to pay more for it in the long run...

not a healthy two-year-old [2008-11-28]
Apparently, the whole house had the rotavirus and the two year old got an ileus? This is a relative. I have never heard of such a thing!

I think I am anti-gift giving this year [2008-11-28]
Money is so tight right now I am no sure how I am going to pay my bills this December.I had some unexpectedbills come up that needed to be taken care of. On top of that, I have to come up with X-mas gifts for everyone and they do not like cheap things. Their idea of cheap is hand-made and they do not like it. So that is out. I just got a part-time job but that is not going to kick in a whole lot of money until closer to the end of the year. I would like to opt out of gift giving this year but if I suggest it I get the lecture from family members of what do you do with your money?, what are you spending it on? and other invasive questions. The other unforunate thing is I live in the same town with them. The most inexpensive thing on my niece She is not careful with these and she has already gone through so many. To top it all off I have 3 birthdays in December. I really hate this time of year. Any suggestions on how to tell them to just buy for them and not for me and let me out of this so-called family time? Sorry to be so bitter.

I have a 13-year-old daughter myself [2008-11-26]
And as long as it was during the day, I was home, and she stayed where I could see them I wouldn't have a problem with the boys being at the house. As for the pizza, trust your gut. I do let my daughter go to the pizza place in our town, but we live in a very small town, and I only let her go with her brothers (14&15) or with another girlfriend and I put a time limit on it. It is something that girls her age are allowed to do, unfortunately, to many of them have no limitations at all. Only you know how far you can trust your daughter.

I have a 14 year old daughter also [2008-11-26]
Thankfully right now she doesn't have any boyfriends, although there are boys in the neighborhood who are friends that we've know for 13 years that she'll meet up with when the weather's decent and everyone is outside. She has amazing friends who come from good families and I trust her and them. I guess you just have to trust your children and decide how much leeway you feel you can give them. There are a couple of younger girls in the neighorhood that hang out with a whole group of older boys and just walk the streets. Those are the ones I'd worry about. Just this past year we've been letting her go to the mall with her friends alone and she has started going to parties, but she always has to go in a group and come home at a decent hour.

Ileus in a two year old [2008-11-26]
Anybody ever heard of ileus in healthy two-year-old?

If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm [2008-11-22]
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.

I usually do a lot of handmade gifts. This year each kid gets $100 they are all grown sm [2008-11-21]
I make my oldest son boxer shorts, he only likes the ones I make. My other son wanted a robe and matching PJ pants. Daughter wanted a couple of outfits and a denim jacket. My mom wanted something I had knitted up for her. Stepdad just wants to be remembered. My brother won't take anything from me, so no problem there. I will do some small things for my friends, but I won't spend $500 total, even with giving the 3 kids $100 each. I have NEVER spent that much on Christmas! I have worked like a dog all year, but I have had no time to do these things they think they want.

Never before Dec.10 but this year need uplifting sm [2008-11-17]
Perhaps I can ask hubby to drag out my nice blue spruce from the basement for Thanksgiving as where I live the recession is hitting big and we need some joy. I will never forget the kids discovering the tree was fake as it is pretty well made and looks real. It was a hilarious moment of shrieking, Hey, Guys, this tree is fake! Used tohave beautiful, country-themed tastefullydecorated trees and wreaths put up in mid-Dec.So, what the heck, Ireason why I went fake and a bad tree that got so bald by Christmas we had to take it down and had no tree at all that year. Just trying to be festive and lighten the mood. Maybe I will go early, depending on hubbyThat thing again! Oh well.Gotta loosen up a bit.

I still get a couple loaf pans of it every year at butchering time [2008-11-15]
DH doesn't touch it but I love it. I grew up on it too. I also grew up on Spam. Mom had a stove that had a pull out griddle above the oven and she would put spam and egss on there for a Tuesday night supper. I have 2 cans of Spam in my pantry now. The ingredients state: Pork with ham, mechanically separated chicken, water , salt, modified potato starch, sugar, hickory smoke flavoring (I have the hickory smoke flavor), and sodiu nitrite. Opps. There's that bad word-sodium nitrite.

For what it is worth, you are right on target sm [2008-11-15]
For one thing, this didn't come from the ex's mom, it came from the ex. You are 100% right in saying if she calls or comes to your home, you will not be rude to her or ignore her. Since you are included in things with the ex's mother, I doubt she is carrying any kind of a torch for your husband and her daughter. I think she is well over that, but thinks a lot of your husband and wants him to be her friend. It sounds like the mom takes people into her life as she finds them, which is a mature attitude...then again she is an adult and you and your husband are also adults. The ex is acting like she never graduated from high school! SUCH GAMES! You handled it with much more grace than I could have. My hat is off to you.

You did the right thing. A year and a half ago 5 girls, sm [2008-11-13]
from a town that I used to live in, (1 had been in preschool with my daughter), just graduated from high school, were on their way to the family cottage of one of the girls, and they were all killed in a crash. There had been a text message sent from the driver's phone just before the crash. Everyone left behind was devastated. Hopefully your actions will save her life.

I did it a couple year ago , got 130 or 135 forget - sm [2008-11-09]
which, but either is a very respectable score. My one brother has a genius IQ, and my other is very intelligent, and I have a good head on my shoulders.....though have a usless college degree for the most part, may go back one of these days and get an accounting degree or nursing, who knows.

Gabby, I am with you. I went for the first time in my life last summer. sm [2008-11-08]
I had a riot and came home $5 richer, so I was happy. I too was amazed at all the people there and this was on a Sunday afternoon. LOL. But I have to say the noise would drive me NUTS!!! Constant dinging, clanking, etc. I did have fun watching everybody and their various techniques for chunking in coins. I stayed on the cheap slots as there were acres of slot machines. I would go again in a heartbeat as I did have fun. And the food is good too. LOL. My experience is if you are into people watching, a casino will give you HOURS of entertainment value.

I have a 16-year-old and 14-year-old..... [2008-11-04]
They donsocially? They are at school socializing all day......Yes, I'm too strict!!!

I have a 17 year old daughter, a senior. [2008-11-04]
She actually doesn't ask to be out during the school week. She's in drama club and working on college applications and homework. If she did ask, I think as long as her homework was done I'd probably let her be out until about 9:00. Her bedtime isn't until 11, but she needs the wind-down time. Weekends, it's midnight.

Consider the source. DD in hospital this summer sm [2008-11-03]
with serious illness. After about the fifth time a nurse had asked us what her symptoms were - my daughter just looked at me and I said simply Gross edema? because explaining how every part of her body had swollen over the last 4 weeks just got old. Nurse looked at me and said, Are you a nurse? I said no - but I do do MT..... wanted to be a smart aleck and said No - but I stated at a Holiday Inn last night!

I made Cinnebons with my bread machine one year. [2008-11-02]
That was the year I heard the most positive comments back. Loved them! Used disposable 8 x 8 tins and wrapped them up pretty with red and green Saran wrap. Over the years I have gotten the plastic trays that are shaped like Santa or something like that and made cookies, fudge, made 1 of the slots mixed nuts and mints. Those also went over well, especially the families with kids.

How about a spoiled rotten 40-year-old [2008-10-31]
Amazon Parrot? She is so beautiful and knows it! She has a bright yellow head and talks to the dogs, and all the dogs we have had prior to this one. About 3 years ago I bought her one of those parrots that will talk back and flap its wings and repeats everything you say. She loves BIRDIE so much that I tried to pick it up (have to admit was teasing her with it and kissing it) and she got so jealous she bit my leather jacket and made a hole in it!So much for the jacket, but I love my Morry. We thought she was a boy so we named her Morris, then we were told she was a female. . . I switched her name to Morrisa, i.e. Morry. Wish you could meet her. She is just darling and spoiled and rotten and . . . . . . . .

I wish Christmas were all year long, [2008-10-31]
xxxx

I wish Christmas were all year long, [2008-10-31]
xxxx

hubby just called our 5 year old a dumba__ [2008-10-27]
He was in the living room making a fire and my son kept touching things he told him not to and i heard him say, I said quit touching the wood, dumb__ I came out of the bedroom stomping down the hall and took my son back here with me. I am in tears, I can't believe he would call him that!!!! am i over reacting??

I watch it 12 times every season on the TBS marathon. I can't wait to do it AGAIN for 15th year. [2008-10-26]
nm

My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays [2008-12-01]
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.

Oh, do I remember! [2008-12-01]
It was a big deal around Christmas time. We'd take the bus or train to a store in another town because they had a Christmas display made up of moving figures as big as a 3-yo child. People would come from miles around to see it. We hadtwo 5dimes in our town right aside of each other. One was modern, bright lights and big display windows complete with a lunch counter and all open displays. The other was dark with all wood shelves and bins, so cramped only2 people could fit in the aisles if they turned sideways. This store also had the candy in glass cases that you paid for by the pound. We also had another old general store like the older 5 dime but he even sold shoes. He had a pair of red shoes with bow ties on them in the window one year. I wanted them so bad because they matched a skirt I had at the time, but they were $10. I only got an allowance of $.50 a week. I was afraid it would take me forever to save the money. Our school's magazine sale was going on at the time and I worked hard to sell as many as I could to win the $10 prize. I won and bought the shoes. It was one of the happiest days in my life.

These 10 things definitely ain't right: [2008-12-01]
1) MTSOs who want people with top-notch skills and experience, but don't want to pay them what that skill is worth. 2) HMO's: So-called *health-maintenance-organizations* --yet they spend every minute and every dime of their far-too-large profits on denying healthcare, meds and procedures to their patients. These organizations have ruined American healthcare, and many American lives. HMO's have been a con-game since their inception. 3) The Bailouts: Giving money to companies who can too bad for the rest of you.* Then the Big Three show up in DC to beg for a handout, and fly there in private Lear jets. My answer to them would be, *I too bad for the rest of you.* 4) Apartment managers that won't allow even a single quiet, well-behaved pet, but will rent to people with continually screaming small children, and out-of-control older children and teens. Give me the pets for neighbors, ANY day. 5) Businesses that give an age-discount to absolutely everything that walks, runs or flies, but not to the middle-aged middle-class, who need it the most. Take the ski-industry: Young children ski for next-to-nothing, and sometimes nothing. There is a Teen Discount. There is a Student Discount for college kids. There I'll probably never be old enough - it's a carrot-on-a-stick, always just out of reach.) There are even corporate (UGH) discounts. But for those in my age group, who barely make ends meet but like to go up once a year for a couple days of bliss, there is NOTHING. 6) Travel-lodging deals that are always based on double or quadruple occupancy. What about singles? NOTHING. 7) TV commercials that are about a million decibels louder than the regular shows. Why can't it all be the same volume? Same with online newscasts. THEIR commercials will blow your eardrums out if you aren't quick enough turning down the volume before they start. 8) Surround-sound: Everything is too loud, already! Why do we need it coming at us from 4 directions? Why do people living in tiny apartments feel they need it? I've lost count of how many fights I've had with neighbors over this issue. Same with movies and music concerts. Why do they feel we need to feel the music in our SPLEENS? I went to Universal Amphitheater last week. (Now named something else). There is actually a sign outside warning that the decibel level inside might damage your hearing! (?!?!?!) Why do they need this? (To avoid lawsuits, obviously). If it's so loud you have to post a warning sign outside the entrance, then DUH.... it's TOO LOUD! 9) Banks that charge you a fee to use their ATM. They (I haven't actually been INSIDE a bank in YEARS).... and they want to charge US for using the machines instead of the tellers? Forget it. I won't give those banks my business. 10) The Post Office: Talk about rewarding slow, inept performance! The worse their employees are, the longer they seem to stay there. I'd rather have a root canal than go to a P.O. during the holiday season.

candy making [2008-12-01]
Aww, my favorite time of year. You can freeze your candy and it will still be good until Christmas. I make chocolate and peanut butter fudge and freeze it. As a matter of fact, it is really good frozen, takes longer to eat, just melts in your mouth. I have to disguise the candy in the freezer, otherwise people will pick at it and it will be gone by Christmas. YUM!

Do you have a store that sells the little [2008-12-01]
discs of chocolate to melt that are more for candymaking? These work the best as the parafin is already in the candy, so they set better. You could try also anywhere that sells supplies for baking cakes to see if they have the candy-making chocolate discs. Also, you may want to let the peanut butter balls sit before coating, as I think it has something to do with the oil in the peanut butter. Let them sit to dry before coating with any type of chocolate. Candies that are homemade should be stored in tins with wax paper in a cool dry place and not necessarily in the refrigerator. If you do store in the refrigerator make sure the container is air tight as the chocolate will pick up the flavors of other things in your refrigerator, i.e., onions... My mother made homemade candies; all types! RIP: Mom; we

Fake [2008-12-01]
I'm allergic so real is not an option. We have a big one but bought a thinner one last year. They are both pretty tall though. It just took up so much room in our living room. We were tired or rearranging the furniture around the xmas tree. The new one rotates so you can see all the ornaments!

Things that never did seem quite right [2008-12-01]
Pet rocks Hummers Suburban sprawl 7 year car payments $5 coffees Please add more!

Why did they say your dog needed a bath? [2008-11-30]
I just throw my collie mix outside when it rains and maybe take him to the groomer 2 or 3 times a year. If he was rolling around in mud and dead animals, that would be different.

About the coming change to all... [2008-11-30]
If there's anyone left on the planet (well, maybe it's just this country) who doesn't know this, and isn't sick and tired of hearing about it, seeing TV spots about it, etc. It's been going on for what, almost a year? It started before Feb 2008 because some got the idea THAT was when it was going to change, but it was 2009- over a year away. I haven Thinking it was some big news story, I read it, and I don't know if it's been saying this all along but, along with saying you won't get (or might NOT get) good or any TV when it changes, unless you get a converter box, it also says YOU CAN USE A VCR OR DVD (as a convertor)! Not a lot of people don't have a VCR or DVD player and if not, you can get a cheap one for $39.99 or so. So, you can hook up your antenna to the VCR or DVD player and that converts it to the digital the TV needs, and you also get the VCR and DVD player (if you don't already have one)? So, why haven't they said this before? Or, if they have it wasn't stressed. People can get coupons to buy a converter box, more wires and things to hook up, when they can use their VCR or DVD player (or buy a cheap one and watch tapes or DVDs or record, etc. on them, too)? Maybe I have this wrong, but I know it said you either MIGHT need a convertor box, OR a VCR or DVD player to get the digital signal (just not with your TV and anntenna) Just thought I'd pass this on, in case anyone who uses an antenna still hasn't gotten a converter box but might have a VCR or DVD player (or would rather buy one, instead)

I remember. [2008-11-30]
My parents used to take us downtown once a year to shop and look at the display windows. Then we would eat at one of the department stores. Dad would take half the kids and mom would take the other half so we could all buy for each other. I remember one year when I was about 6 I was with my dad and my sister and I saw this beautiful red coat I wanted to get mom. We took it up to the counter and my dad told us to give the lady our money. Between us we had 35 cents. We gave it to her and she wrapped it up for us. My dad still tells that story today, how we bought mom a coat for 35 cents. We never did see him give the saleslady the rest of the money, and it was sweet how she played along.

LOL - that reminds me of the other day when [2008-11-30]
my 7 year old son came home from school. He asked me did I know that kids used to not speak unless spoken too. I told him what a wonderful concept that was that we've lost over the years. He just looked at me horrified. His expression was priceless! :)

I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm [2008-11-30]
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles. We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time! I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that. But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother. Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.

2 problems with hubby - any advice??? [2008-11-30]
Problem #1: His hearing. He will not go to the doctor, complains to me all the time that he can not hear me and talks SO loud. I can't tell him anything in the stores or I might as well announce it over the loud speaker which in turn creates an argument (hence, miserable day out shopping yesterday). Problem #2:I dread this time of year with him. He turns into this greedy person that is beyond comprehension for me. Every time he opens his mouth it I always grew up being thankful for what I got and can I never ask for items for Christmas - I appreciate the thoughtfulness that a person puts into getting me something (even if it I also believe the kids come first (3, 2 of which are teenagers) and we buy for them first but it seems I always have to budget my money for the kids and then for him. He does not like inexpensive items either. The last few months I'm the only one who has bought gifts for the kids - he hasn't spent any of his money and is counting on a bonus from his employer that may or may not come through and you never know how much it's going to be. Sorry - and thanks for letting me vent. I've been so stressed lately.

Same problem here. [2008-11-30]
My husband works with loud machines and we both have noticed his hearing is going. I actually thinks he likes it because when I ask him to do something and it doesnI didn. Very frustrating for me. My husband also expects big presents for Christmas, birthday, etc, wrapped up all nice and pretty. Last year, he received a big gift and I received nothing from him. He says I'm hard to buy for so he won't do it. Or else on Christmas Eve, he will say he's going shopping what should he get me. He always takes the fun out of any gift-giving occasion. This year, I told him we are not exchanging and that means BOTH of us will do without. We'll see how he likes it.

On the gift side, do like we do... [2008-11-30]
he wants a $1200 item this year; fine, he can have it, but I get that same amount to do something with. If he wants to buy me a ring or some such bauble, fine, or he can just give me the cash to buy what I want.

No, but I bought a few things from WP [2008-11-30]
I bought a convetion oven a year ago and it puked out this past week when I wanted to broil a london broil.I was very disappointed. Up until then, I used to make cakes and wholeBBQ chickens on the rotisseie which all were great, plus the baking/roasting things. I'm hoping I just did something wrong when but I'm afraid I might not have. I also have his SS pots and pans bought a year before that that are still sitting in the box because I found anoter set of pots and pans that were given as a Christma giflt, so I'm using them. i will be making chicekn again this week rotiserries style so keep your finers crossed for me. Of course, the warranty ran out prior this happening.

Times gone by......... sm [2008-11-30]
I remember when I was a child the dime store in our town. It had everything from pencils to yard goods to toys to old medicinal remedies. They had a wonderful candy counter where you bought your candy by weight. You made your selection from the glass-fronted counter that was juuuuust above eye level for a small child. The clerk would scoop out the desired amount of candy with an old brass candy scoop and weigh it on an old balance scale. Then she would put the candy in a little white paper sack. There were all kinds, jelly beans, butterscotch that melted in your mouth, peppermint that really cleared the sinuses, and wonderful little maple goodies to name but a few. It tasted so much better than candy tastes these days. And yes, they had Evening in Paris and Old Spice and hankies for both mom and dad. I even held my very first job there in high school where I helped take inventory every year right after Christmas. We had to count each and every item (well, probably not the jelly beans) by hand. I remember counting boxes and boxes of pens and pencils and rulers. I miss that store as it closed down many years ago when the big discount houses started opening up in the nearby big town.

I just need to VENT and see what you all think...Beware...this is long...sm [2008-11-30]
I have tried twice to tell this story but deleted it both times because the story is just too long so I will be as short as I can. I have a bunch of ROTTEN TO THE CORE sisters.My sisters are just about the worst people I have ever met in my whole 43 years on this planet. There is one who is especially bad and I just told my other sister that if she ever dies, to please not call me as I won I come from a very large family with 5 sisters and 1 brother with my brother being the oldest. He is not involved. He sort ofleft the family years ago because he couldn They did terrible things to him after his divorce. We rarely see him now.I am considered a scumbag and a loser because my husband and I don We don We don We can We love our children with everything in our souls. They have made fun of me and my husband and insulted us to our faces.My husband and I have a difficult marriage as he is tough to get along with so they hate my husband My sistershave all gone out to dinner without inviting me. I have found out because of someone They have made threats and sent rumors flying throughout the family, without me knowing, about calling DCYF on me. I heard that one too from a slip of the tongue. I cried for 2 hours in the shower that day. They talk about everyone and I mean everyone badly. They have awell known reputation ina couple of our towns here for being mean horrible girls. They are about as fake and phony as a person can get. Sweet and all smiles to your face and when you turn around, they stick that knife in as far as they can get it in. They have what they have in their lives because of what someone has given them. My sister had her property given to her by her in-laws. It is worth about $1,000,000. My other sister had land given to her by her husbandto lessen their mortage burden so now they owe almost nothing on their $500,000 house. They think they are fabulous people. They think they are the cat In the past years when we were all talking and I would be invited to a holiday, I was not spoken to at all the whole time I was there. I am a venter and I always have been so if my husband and I are fighting, I will always go to my older sister (one up from me) and vent and vent until I can She gets on the phone the second I leave and tells every person in my family what is going on. They in turn judge me and my husband, make their threats, and so on. This is also happening to my oldest sister and her partner (she is in a gay relationship but was always dating a man and was married twice) and my sister The three of us, me, my sister and her partner, and my sister We get along well. We are happy with each other. We don Whatever happens in each other lives, we just accept it and don I now attend holidays at my sister I don I don The sisters (I like to call them the Witches of Eastwick) all attend holidays with each other up at my sister The three of us are not invited. My older sister has a son. Several yeas ago, my sister and her partner had a terrible fight with him. He went to the witches and told them a bunch of lies and now they have pretty much shunned her and her daughter and me too because we still talk to her.I have a sister, who is involved in all of this, that I speak to on a regular basis. She is close to my kids or at least my oldest son. She pretty much ignores my other two children and they tell me, It She is the one who has spread rumors about me in the family trying to get everyone to call DCYF on me. I heard this too by a slip of the tongue from another sister a few years back. I tend to be a forgiving person so I quietly forgave her for this without her ever knowing that I knew what she was trying to do. Now that they are all inviited to the holidays up to my sister They are extremely fat just like her. These holiday trips up north are usually kept quiet and I only know about it the day before they are leaving to go, which is when she inevitably asks me to come feed her f******g cats. This is how Iknow that a big party is going on up at the cabin and once again only the chosen selected few are going. This is usually for 3 or 4 days and they get fed twice a day so I have to goto her house twice a day. Sometimes I have to give them medication and the last time she asked me, I even had to soak her sick cat She lives about 20 minutes away from me. This girl would NEVER, NEVER, EVER do this for me. My husband and I took our children on a cruise 3 years ago and we have a cat and I never asked her to do this for me as I know she would have laughed in my face. I have been feeding her cats for years now when she goes away. Keep in mind though that she was in the select chosen few to be invited up to the cabin. I was not as I am considered trash in the family. I am SICK AND TIRED of feeding this girl My sister who invites everyone to go is a mean, horrible, sadistic, vicious, backstabbing wretched b***h. No one will say anything to her like, Gee Pat, where is everyone else? Didn They could care less. All they know is that THEY were invited. Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. I cananymore. I have been thinking of this all day all weekend long. I am really to the point where I just don I am goingto tell my fat a** b***h sister to fnd another way to get her cats fed because I She is just using me and believe me when I tell you, she enjoys it. She is verydiabolical. She loves it that I am not invited and she and her husband are.She even questions me and counts the cat food cans to make sure that I came on all of the days they were gone. These people have balls of brass and I have had ENOUGH.I am just sitting and waiting patiently for the next time she says, Oh, we Can you come and feed the cats? I just canNo. I can I will never feed your cats again! Find some other sucker to do it! I believe that they are severely narcissistic people and this is nothing to take lightly.These types of people are very destructive. Do any of you have family members like this and what do you do about them? How do you stop them from making you feelsad, lonely, excluded andless than you are or deserve? I think it is time for me to cut all ties with them. I just can

I feel exactly the same. I am very depressed and [2008-11-29]
anxious now about everything and don I have to find a way to tell my nieces, etc. that I am not buying gifts this year, but it is hard. My mom is elderly and ill and things are not right for it this year. Good luck to you.

Gift Giving [2008-11-29]
I just got married in July 2008, bought a new home, and am now expecting my third child in April 2009 so we ourselves have had many blessings this year but our financial situation is also pretty tight. We will not be buying gifts for anyone but our children. Our family will receive homemade treats this year. We still like to do something nice for them because they have done so much for us this year and every year but we don't have a lot of money to play with. In my case, we take care of our obligations (bills, our children, etc.) before we worry about gifts. We feel that providing our children with things that need and the love that they deserve is more important than any material gift will ever be. Our family understands our situation and is very happy just to spend the holidays with us without the expectation of a gift because honestly the quality time with family is the biggest gift we could give each other. In my opinion, you should just explain the situation to them and let them know that you will not be giving gifts this year. They may take it hard but they will get over it. You have to do what you have to do. Gifts aren't the real reason for the Christmas season anyhow. Good luck to you!

You need to take care of your [2008-11-29]
bills first and not worry about giving gifts. Explain to your family that you will not be giving gifts this year and you expect nothing in return. They may not like it but they will get over it. If they ask questions about what you do with your money (which really is none of their business)just answer them with the economy being so bad you are unable to give gifts. I would hope they understand as everybody is going through it right now. You may feel uncomfortable, but at least you will be able to sleep and not worry whether your bills will be paid or not. Stand firm on this and DO NOT feel guilty as there is no reason to be. I have also chosen not to exchange gifts this year as I cannot do it. I was surprised that my brother was relieved. Everybody is feeling the crunch. I wish you much luck!

When do you buy your Christmas Tree? sm [2008-11-29]
What kind do you get and how tall do you get? We redid our living room over the summer and since then, at least once a month, I I One more question - any problems with your pets and a real tree?? Years and years ago, the guy at the tree lot swore up and down to me a specific tree (can't remember what kind now) that cats will stay out of - yeah right!! My cats still managed to drag that tree halfway through my apartment! LOL

I feel exactly the same way. [2008-11-29]
When my siblings and I started having kids, we agreed not to buy for each other's families. That has worked out fine. This year, we have NO money. Even though we still have our same jobs, it seems like more money is going out than is coming in. I don't quite understand where the money is going myself, try explaining that to family. I would just like to completely forget Christmas this year. I would even volunteer to work to get out of it. Don't feel bad about being bitter. I find myself getting tired of having no money and having to explain why we can't do the things we used to do all the time. I've started preparing the kids for Christmas, telling them it is going to be real skimpy around here. They are old enough to understand but whether they believe me is another thing.

opposite problem [2008-11-29]
For the last 20 years we have been forced to participate in the gift exchange regardless of our circumstances. This year, all of a sudden, we must all abide by a new budget, but now we have money! I think it is just a power play and nothing more.

you sound like me - [2008-11-29]
for the past couple of years, I have said, let's forget the gifts and just spend the day together at my mom's house -- but oh no, that would be horrible if we did not buy presents. This year, my sister's husband lost his job and now it's automatic, we are not going to be buying gifts. I always wonder, why is it that one person in the family always seems to make the decisions for everybody else?