Thanks I sympathize with the birthday deal too (sm)

God will deal with Kennedy about Kopechne. In the meantime, I'm glad [2008-11-17]
nm

I agree. What is the big deal, other [2008-11-14]
that exploiting yourself on TV wanting to be a man and then wanting to have a child. My brother calls them SHIMS. It What is so hard to believe. The so-called man kept his female reproductive organs. . . end of story.

I can sympathize [2008-11-13]
If you honestly love him like you say, then maybe it is time for some forgiveness in your heart, just forget what has happened and move on or sit him down one on one and tell him to get it off your chest. My mom and dad divorced when I was one. I am almost 40 now. I won Once he had more kids, I was in the way. He was never there for me even as an adult. His wife (married again when I was 3) only wants to be involved in my life when she can stir up drama. I made the decision to finally cut them out of my life because it was beginning to affect me on a daily basis. I did confront both of them to a certain extent, not all that I wanted to say. But since his wife was stirring up drama with my 4 kids, momma bear came out and enough was enough. I still love my dad, but don't understand how he can be so blind about his wife. Being that your parents are still together, I think you need to either sit him down without your mom and tell him how you feel and maybe he will then understand why you have been so hurt. If you feel you can Just my 2 cents worth...I wish you the best of luck

My kids got me one for by birthday years [2008-09-26]
ago. Absolutely love it and they make their milkshakes with it, no mess at all.

Happy Birthday! I'll be there in the spring. nm [2008-09-24]
x

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. Hope it is a good one. nm [2008-09-23]
nm

Happy birthday! I'm 60 too. Not end of world, only [2008-09-23]
nm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! [2008-09-23]
I will be 47 on Thursday :)

The department you deal with in Michigan for things like this is called "Friend of the Court". [2008-09-22]
You need to get in touch with your version of this in your state and tell them what is going on and file a form for re-do the visitation agreement. You may even have to see your original divorce attorney. We went through this with my husbandin pro per form. Which basically is a DIY form. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but you need to get started now to get your ducks in a row. Have you thought about talking to somebody at the local VA office in your state or city? Those guys are a wealth of information. Good luck to you.

How to deal with compulsive liars: If you can't beat them, join them. [2008-09-18]
x

You have a lot to deal with here. I suggest (SM) [2008-09-04]
you take 1 issue at a time. You have a good list started...prioritize based on safety and legal issues. Re the will, POA, etc., download some forms from the internet or buy some...they are widely available. Fill out one of them as a draft, leaving blanks where he needs to give input. Then take it to him, go over it with him, and ask what he wants in the blanks. Then compile a final for him to sign and take him to have it notarized, if needed. Then move on to the next thing on the list. I wouldn't make a big deal out of anything, just make dealing with one thing part of your regular routine when you visit him. Re the house, spend some time making a safe, clean space in it for him to live his daily life...kitchen, one bathroom, to start. Get and install any grab bars or other equipment he might need. Get him a medical alert necklace for his birthday. I found one at WalMart that doesn't require a monitoring service...it dials 9-1-1 in an emergency. This is just a start, but that is what you need to do, just start. I hope some of these suggestions are useful.

What is the big deal??? They had to have [2008-09-02]
gas and he said he would put in 10. He did. When he gets gas for his car is his business. If he wants to stop every day for gas, how does that affect her??? If they fight over little things like that, doesn't sound like a good marriage to me.

I can sympathize with you sm [2008-08-24]
My husband used to make threats too. Of course, he was drinking heavily at the time. I took them serious enough to tell a few close friends, just in case, but then I decided I wasn't going to be afraid of him anymore. He had no right to make me fearful, whether I brought it on or not. I would certainly be wary enough in your situation to make sure the kids are safely away when you break the bad news. If you do it in person, maybe break the news to him by opening with, I have a serious problem I need to talk to you about before it gets any worse. You will be angry but I need you to listen to me. It will certainly get his attention but you know him best and its up to you to decide how you tell him, as long as you do the telling. Please post back and let me know how it goes. Will keep my fingers crossed for you, pray for you, all of it. It's a nightmare situation for sure.

good deal, oh the relief! nm [2008-07-28]
x

Birthday [2008-07-01]
I turned 50 two years ago and that was definitely the worst. 40 I could handle - I still felt relatively young. Also in the years between 40 and 50 I had several surgeries and my brother, father, mother and an aunt died (actually all the deaths happened in the last 3 years). Boy, it is really traumatic when you start losing your family members. I know this happens to people at a younger age than I was and I feel for them. (I also had a brother who died when I was 10 and he was 13). So ugh, 50 is worse. And you know the old saying would you rather have your birthday or the alternative. Gag. That doesn't help much. I hope you have a very happy birthday!

My roughest birthday was.... [2008-06-28]
When I was 34. I donspecial for my b-day. Oh yea, the last time he took me out to eat specially for my b-day was 1989, but dinner was a disaster so after that I just said forget it. Usually we have pizza delivered. So I'm now 48 and I'd give anything to turn the clocks back about 28 years. So much I would do differently and so many things I wouldn't do.

What was your "roughest" birthday s/m [2008-06-27]
and how did you celebrate it? I turn 40 in a few weeks and thought I was doing well until this evening when I really started thinking about it and contemplating my life. I sure would like to roll back about 10 years and have a do-over, then maybe I would take this a little better?

no big deal! [2008-06-22]
I think I would probably have a heart attack if I were ever bitten by a snake.. My dentist bought an old house that was inhabited by snakes. . he shot some, carried some out using sticks, played loud music and finally, after a couple of years, has managed to take over the house. . he has way more patience and courage than I would have.

Birthday present from a 5 year old [2008-04-23]
When my son was five we were walking to school in March, my birthday month. We were talking about my birthday and he said that he would pick flowers for me for my birthday. Unfortunately, in New York there are no flowers yet in March, and I gently pointed that out to him. His face fell for a moment, and then suddenly brightened with an idea - You like worms? he said.

Thanks - I sympathize with the birthday deal too (sm) [2008-04-10]
I feel like my birthday is barely acknowledged. You know some people seem to get lots of attention...I wonder if we just don't act like we deserve it so people figure we don't? I went on a Girl Scout campout this past weekend and one of the moms had a monogrammed makeup bag with her name embroidered on it and overnight bags and such with her initials embroidered and I thought to myself - someone treats her like she is special. And I could tell she felt good about herself. I wonder if we acted more like we deserve better - not complaining but just seeming to presume - if others would treat us better or if it is just that she is lucky?

Thank you both. We do enjoy it a great deal. [2008-04-01]
There are drawbacks to it, but we feel they are far outweighed by the benefits. We are not quite as footloose and fancy-free as we had envisioned in our youth, but we are about as close as we will probably ever get.

Happy Bikrthday to me, happy birthday [2008-03-22]
Unbelievable, I have reached the age of 65- where did the years go?? I would retire but gosh, darn just love this work so much, want to keep on working. Hubs had me a delicious huge chocolate cake this morning and daughter coming over for pizza tonight, oh forgot working today also but like I said, hard to give this terrific life up,thatis a life in between my working!

Happy Birthday!!! [2008-03-22]
Happy Birthday! I hope today is great for you ! Moderator

happy birthday!! chololate and pizza - [2008-03-22]
my kinda gal!! Can't top that...except maybe giving this profession a kick in the prat and retiring!! don't work - hoop'n'holler

Happy Birthday! [2008-03-22]

Oh, do I remember! [2008-12-01]
It was a big deal around Christmas time. We'd take the bus or train to a store in another town because they had a Christmas display made up of moving figures as big as a 3-yo child. People would come from miles around to see it. We hadtwo 5dimes in our town right aside of each other. One was modern, bright lights and big display windows complete with a lunch counter and all open displays. The other was dark with all wood shelves and bins, so cramped only2 people could fit in the aisles if they turned sideways. This store also had the candy in glass cases that you paid for by the pound. We also had another old general store like the older 5 dime but he even sold shoes. He had a pair of red shoes with bow ties on them in the window one year. I wanted them so bad because they matched a skirt I had at the time, but they were $10. I only got an allowance of $.50 a week. I was afraid it would take me forever to save the money. Our school's magazine sale was going on at the time and I worked hard to sell as many as I could to win the $10 prize. I won and bought the shoes. It was one of the happiest days in my life.

crazier every day sm [2008-12-01]
Kids who need designer labels, theme birthday parties, karate, guitar, piano, dance, gym, swim,baseball, soccer all in one week, both parents have to work their kiesta off to pay for all this stuff and the kid has to go to therapy because they are acting tired in school and are always bored in the few minutes they do have at home. They also need food that is on the acceptable food pyramid from the expensive organic markets but end up eating Kraft mac cheese, the orange kind, that they slipped into the carriage when dad or gramma stopped at the store. Oh well, they used to say you have to eat a peck of dirt before you die - not in todayAnd PS - all that expensive cream we put on our faces (if we did) announced today on all stations that they don't WORK! Back to Vaseline!

Same problem here. [2008-11-30]
My husband works with loud machines and we both have noticed his hearing is going. I actually thinks he likes it because when I ask him to do something and it doesnI didn. Very frustrating for me. My husband also expects big presents for Christmas, birthday, etc, wrapped up all nice and pretty. Last year, he received a big gift and I received nothing from him. He says I'm hard to buy for so he won't do it. Or else on Christmas Eve, he will say he's going shopping what should he get me. He always takes the fun out of any gift-giving occasion. This year, I told him we are not exchanging and that means BOTH of us will do without. We'll see how he likes it.

I just need to VENT and see what you all think...Beware...this is long...sm [2008-11-30]
I have tried twice to tell this story but deleted it both times because the story is just too long so I will be as short as I can. I have a bunch of ROTTEN TO THE CORE sisters.My sisters are just about the worst people I have ever met in my whole 43 years on this planet. There is one who is especially bad and I just told my other sister that if she ever dies, to please not call me as I won I come from a very large family with 5 sisters and 1 brother with my brother being the oldest. He is not involved. He sort ofleft the family years ago because he couldn They did terrible things to him after his divorce. We rarely see him now.I am considered a scumbag and a loser because my husband and I don We don We don We can We love our children with everything in our souls. They have made fun of me and my husband and insulted us to our faces.My husband and I have a difficult marriage as he is tough to get along with so they hate my husband My sistershave all gone out to dinner without inviting me. I have found out because of someone They have made threats and sent rumors flying throughout the family, without me knowing, about calling DCYF on me. I heard that one too from a slip of the tongue. I cried for 2 hours in the shower that day. They talk about everyone and I mean everyone badly. They have awell known reputation ina couple of our towns here for being mean horrible girls. They are about as fake and phony as a person can get. Sweet and all smiles to your face and when you turn around, they stick that knife in as far as they can get it in. They have what they have in their lives because of what someone has given them. My sister had her property given to her by her in-laws. It is worth about $1,000,000. My other sister had land given to her by her husbandto lessen their mortage burden so now they owe almost nothing on their $500,000 house. They think they are fabulous people. They think they are the cat In the past years when we were all talking and I would be invited to a holiday, I was not spoken to at all the whole time I was there. I am a venter and I always have been so if my husband and I are fighting, I will always go to my older sister (one up from me) and vent and vent until I can She gets on the phone the second I leave and tells every person in my family what is going on. They in turn judge me and my husband, make their threats, and so on. This is also happening to my oldest sister and her partner (she is in a gay relationship but was always dating a man and was married twice) and my sister The three of us, me, my sister and her partner, and my sister We get along well. We are happy with each other. We don Whatever happens in each other lives, we just accept it and don I now attend holidays at my sister I don I don The sisters (I like to call them the Witches of Eastwick) all attend holidays with each other up at my sister The three of us are not invited. My older sister has a son. Several yeas ago, my sister and her partner had a terrible fight with him. He went to the witches and told them a bunch of lies and now they have pretty much shunned her and her daughter and me too because we still talk to her.I have a sister, who is involved in all of this, that I speak to on a regular basis. She is close to my kids or at least my oldest son. She pretty much ignores my other two children and they tell me, It She is the one who has spread rumors about me in the family trying to get everyone to call DCYF on me. I heard this too by a slip of the tongue from another sister a few years back. I tend to be a forgiving person so I quietly forgave her for this without her ever knowing that I knew what she was trying to do. Now that they are all inviited to the holidays up to my sister They are extremely fat just like her. These holiday trips up north are usually kept quiet and I only know about it the day before they are leaving to go, which is when she inevitably asks me to come feed her f******g cats. This is how Iknow that a big party is going on up at the cabin and once again only the chosen selected few are going. This is usually for 3 or 4 days and they get fed twice a day so I have to goto her house twice a day. Sometimes I have to give them medication and the last time she asked me, I even had to soak her sick cat She lives about 20 minutes away from me. This girl would NEVER, NEVER, EVER do this for me. My husband and I took our children on a cruise 3 years ago and we have a cat and I never asked her to do this for me as I know she would have laughed in my face. I have been feeding her cats for years now when she goes away. Keep in mind though that she was in the select chosen few to be invited up to the cabin. I was not as I am considered trash in the family. I am SICK AND TIRED of feeding this girl My sister who invites everyone to go is a mean, horrible, sadistic, vicious, backstabbing wretched b***h. No one will say anything to her like, Gee Pat, where is everyone else? Didn They could care less. All they know is that THEY were invited. Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. I cananymore. I have been thinking of this all day all weekend long. I am really to the point where I just don I am goingto tell my fat a** b***h sister to fnd another way to get her cats fed because I She is just using me and believe me when I tell you, she enjoys it. She is verydiabolical. She loves it that I am not invited and she and her husband are.She even questions me and counts the cat food cans to make sure that I came on all of the days they were gone. These people have balls of brass and I have had ENOUGH.I am just sitting and waiting patiently for the next time she says, Oh, we Can you come and feed the cats? I just canNo. I can I will never feed your cats again! Find some other sucker to do it! I believe that they are severely narcissistic people and this is nothing to take lightly.These types of people are very destructive. Do any of you have family members like this and what do you do about them? How do you stop them from making you feelsad, lonely, excluded andless than you are or deserve? I think it is time for me to cut all ties with them. I just can

Holidays are hard [2008-11-26]
My parents were divorced so my sister and I spent many years shuffling between two houses. When we each got married and had our own families the situation got even more complex. My parents are now deceased and my sister and I are estranged (even though we live in the same town), so in some ways life has gotten simpler. I still get very emotional and depressed around the holidays because of my dysfunctional childhood and negative expectations, but I don't have as much guilt and stress anymore. My husband's parents and family are back in our hometown 600 miles away, and for the last few years he's gone back there for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with our youngest child. I don't begrudge him that because his folks are elderly and I don't want him to have any regrets later. I can't go with him because we have a lot of animals to take care of, and frankly, I'm really comfortable just hanging out at home with them anyway. We have adult kids too, and two grandchildren, and I encourage all of them to live their lives without the burden of guilt and feelings of obligation. If they can come by and have dinner or visit that's great, and if not BIG DEAL. Honestly, it's just a day. Things got easier for us when we realized we didn't necessarily have to celebrate a holiday on the exact day it was scheduled. I really understand your not wanting to let your mom down, and I would feel the same way. Your husband is a big boy and has made a choice, so that's on him, not you. He's probably being a bit immature and stubborn on this one. I hope you'll extend the invitation to your husband one more time, then go to your mom's and enjoy yourself whether he comes along or not.

it's not lying [2008-11-26]
It's just not. I was about to get all preachy and talk about how we need mythology in our lives--stories that tell teach us morals, that remind us of our traditions--but I'll stay off the soapbox for now and just say that for as long as my kids are willing to believe, I will give them stories to believe in. The five-minute cry when they discover Santa isn't real, is more than made up for by the years of joy beforehand, don't you think? As for talking in front of the kids, I don they're good at that.

Yes. When my daughter was 13, most [2008-11-26]
of her friends were guys. Girls at that age can be quite nasty and jealous, so she wouldprefer guys over girls. She used to play Playstation a lot with guys. She is 19 now and still hangs outwith the guys. Most of the guys are her boyfriend They still play Playstation, go to McDonalds, and go to the movies. I always kept an eye on where they were though which was usually in the front yard too or in the living room. I wouldn Guys drive like nuts anyway. Now she drives with them but she is an adult now. She does most of the driving too. They all pile in her truck. I learned by her hanging out with guys at an early age as friends, it made it easier for her to communicate with men when she grew up. She understands men more because of growing up with them as boys. Maybe ask your daughter why she feels more comfortable with the guys than girls. Maybe there are girls giving her problems that she doesnone of the guys. It is a hard age though. Their feelings can get hurt very easily at that age. Good-luck.

That's really petty [2008-11-25]
I did sympathize with your plight until now. The idea of now taking something of his and hiding it is about as childish as humanly possible. I assume you want this disagreement to last well into 2009 and, at the same time, apparently you don't care if your marriage DOESN'T last through 2009.

I think what you did was great. [2008-11-25]
I'm sorry it turned out that way. You are right, most kids don't play board games or card games any more and lack imagination and development that is necessary for school. I think you can have a mix of both but sadly many parents don't uphold guidelines in their household and it's easier for them to let the TV/video games babysit their children. It is also sad that they are acting so childish when you are grown adults with children of your own. I wouldn't make any effort to be around them or be friendly any further. The mom of the birthday boy, maybe invite her to coffee or a playplace for the kids, just the 2 of you and get to know her better. I can understand that and think it would help her to see what a good person you are and make her own opinion despite what the others may or may not say to her. If she doesn't seem receptive, let it go. You can't control what happens at school but keep your eyes and ears open. If there are any problems that develop between the 2 friends at school, I would address it with the teacher.

We do not ban video games or TV in our house BUT [2008-11-25]
We do limit them. When Santa brought the gaming systems he also brought a contract for the parent's and child to sign limiting the amount of video games on week nights, weekends, and that it is at the parent's descretion if other things need to be completed first. We have never had an argument about video games in my house and my son is 10. He does not have the latest and greatest, and doesn't have many games. Part of Santa's deal was that any games would be as holiday/birthday gifts OR the child has to save up 1/2 the money and the parent's will pitch in the other 1/2. Surprising how much they don't want things that use their own money. We also make a point to play board games and such as a family. He helps with laundry, dishes, etc. and of course homework must be done (and checked by parent's) before any video/TV time. It has never been a problem at our house but I also think he knows that I would not hesitate to toss the sucker out the window if it did become a problem.

Well, at least they're working to [2008-11-24]
support their children. Raising kids in this generation isn The pressure are on parents these days isn In addition to making sure our kids are well taken care of and that we attend the all important PTO meetings, baseball meetings, wrestling club meetings, soccer meetings, football meetings, dance recitals, cheerleading practice, on and on, we also must make sure our 1st and 2nd graders are doing their 1 hour worth of homework each evening and in addition to that make sure we are reading a book to them every night. These are the requirements now set by the schools. The parents must also deal with sex, drugs, and peer pressure at a much younger age than you probably did. Just last week, I had to explain to my second grader what a virgin was. Did he learn that word at home? No, he learned it on the bus because our school district decided to save money by busing all the kids together, high school through kindergarten. The meals you mention your GKs eating, that More than likely, your GKs won You seem very harsh on your kids, and IIs either one ofthe parents involved in their children Do you have any idea how much time that takes? Arethey struggling with finances? Were you a stay-at-home mom or work-at-home mom? Having to get kids ready in the morning and get yourself ready, then spend 8 hours a day working, only to come home and pick up the same kids and do homework with them is not an easy chore. More than likely, your DS and DDIL are tired. Instead of criticizing, why not ask where you can help? Maybe you could offer to make them dinner once a week after work. Give them an evening out without kids to just relax a little bit. I As for the kids But aren Maybe he Maybe mom and dad didn I, myself, grew up in a home where I had frozen pizza at least 2 or 3 times a week for supper. My mom worked nights and my dad didn If my mom could make us a meal before she left, she did. Frozen pizza didn I graduated high school at 140 pounds, normal for 5 tall. My mom and dad were there for everything for me, though, and it It Your words are so harsh and I just have to wonder, if you think they Is it because you know the children are well taken care of, just not up to your standards? Perhaps you should have a conversation with your DS and see what his impressions of your child-rearing of him were. Perhaps there were areas you could have improved on.

You missed the point of my post [2008-11-24]
The only things she chose to complain about were nitpicky things -- what they serve for dinner. Most kids don Last time I checked PBJ and yogurt were pretty healthy. Her GS has ADHD. He isnbehave on command. Any MT would know that. First she complains because they don Instead of criticizing her kids, she should be trying to help the situation. Did she hit a nerve with me? Absolutely. My parenting skills are always being critiqued. From the time my oldest son was old enough to eat until about the age of 6, I had to pack PBJ everywhere we went. He refused to eat anything else. Was it because I didn It was because that My other child has ODD -- oppositional defiant disorder. Is it because I didn No, it I have 2 other children who are not like this. They were all raised in the same house under the same rules. I am constantly berated by my father for not cracking the whip on him and by my mother for being too strict. It Then after upsetting DS or DD, you can go back home and not be the one who on top of your feelings of inadequacy now has to deal with a difficult child. I could see if it the OP said the children were malnourished or not cleaned and clothed properly, but she She

No, I don't think they're hidden from us at all [2008-11-22]
Most people know, or can discover with a little research, that most of the things we get are easily preventable or cured, over time, by our own immune systems. Taking antibiotics for a cold is not only foolish, but dangerous. And not just for you, but for all of us. Itminor things. The best care you can give yourself, besides preventive care (stay out of the sun, you eat right, exercise, if you etc etc) is supportive care. If you donINTRUDER!!! ATTACK!!! Ideally I should be able to deal with my pain by growing my own natural remedies, but the Federal Government tends to frown on a garden full of opium poppies and marijuana plants. Willow bark just donhidden, they're just not encouraged or advertised. Being a heathen gives me a distinct advantage in the area of herbalism as we tend to try traditional remedies before running to the doctor. Even if I'm fairly certain that about half the time the traditional remedy makes you feel better because it's loaded with alcohol (in our case). No, drugs do NOT take too long to make it to market. They make it too quickly. Before AIDS hit it could take 30 years for a new drug to make it to market. Now they're being released so quickly they've not had time to test for long term effects. Vioxx is a good example of what can go wrong with that one. Who would have guessed using it long-term could kill you? It definitely damages your heart. That's just one of many drugs that were fast-tracked, that shouldn't have been, and that are now the focus of class action lawsuits after people have been injured or killed due to lack of long-term clinical studies. Are there drugs that made it to market quickly that have proven safe? Of course there are. Unfortunately there's no way for us to tell in advance how thoroughly something has been tested, how long it spent in R&D or how wide-ranging the clinical trials may have been. So we're all guinea pigs now. It really is a balance. I feel that for myself, itpersonal responsibility and we seem to have a dearth of it in this country.

Divorce [2008-11-21]
I divorced my first husband when my children were 1 and 3. He was a crack addict. It wasn't easy but it was the right decision for me. I would definitely suggest going to Al-Anon. I didn't make it there until quite a few after my divorce, but it helped me a great deal. Best of luck with your decision. Shelly

I'm a virgin, help a first timer out .. [2008-11-21]
BLACK FRIDAY Shopper's!!!! Ive NEVER in my life shopped on Black Friday, it used to be of no interest, then it got interesting for awhile, but DH hated the idea and I dont shop without him unless I absolutely have to and/or dying to get out, and now the interest is back with DH on my side! So I am excited, or should I be frightened, is it a true mad house? I need some tips and info. Do you have any tips for a 1st Timer?? What time do you get at the store? Do you have to get a coupon or something to be allowed IN? If so, where do you get these coupons? What time do stores typically open? What times do they take the sale prices down, is it usually an all day thing, or an end at lunch type of thing? And most important of all. I am a fan of the old fashioned way..... newspaper ads to see who has what deal. Where do you get this? Does it come out THIS Weekend or on Thanksgiving Day?? Thanks so much!!!!

No I live in the boonies. In Nothingville. SM [2008-11-21]
I think he has had someone for so long and my mom took care of the bill paying and he never had to worry about bills or shopping or being alone. And now he can't deal with it. They divorced because he was cheating with another woman. I told him go be with her. I mean they are divorced now. If that is what he wants go get it. He said she has a 28 year old son and a 22 year old daughter with a baby who neither one work and lay around her house. He says how am I supposed to be with someone with that kind of mess. He said if I am with her I will basically have to take on her grown kids too. I said well that is her own fault she allows her grown children to be bums. It is just a dang mess. He got himself into it though. With his bills it is like he can't sit down and say hey I can't pay for 2 vehicles and I have to get rid of one and he has other multiple bills I won't even go into. But if he is struggling to pay for both let one go back. I told him go file bankruptcy if you are having really bad problems with finanes. He said I don't want to file bankruptcy. Oh no. I said well that or lose your stuff. I have tried to give him advice and help him but he won't listen. He is stubborn.

According to DH, our budget is $1,000 [2008-11-20]
But more likely I We have 3 kids. We usually get them 1 big gift to share and then round it out with smaller gifts. This year, they It The breakdown of the other $350: Parents $150, Grandma $25, Gift Exchange $60, Siblings (from my kids $20, Niece/nephew: $40, Teacher Gifts $30, Student Gifts: $15. The remaining $30 will go to Toys for Tots! Each of my kids like to pick out a $10 gift to put in. I have 3 siblings and 1 that My brother that Of course, my 2 unmarried siblings also buy small gifts for my children, so we always get them a little something from them -- usually lottery tickets or a gas card for Sheetz. $10 used to fill We do our exchange party on Christmas Eve. It keeps the kids entertained and gives them a little preview of what I have to say I enjoy Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day. It Teacher gifts kill me. It I usually go for a coffee mug with a Christmas scene or teacher saying on it and fill it with candy. Of course, DH thinks I do all this for Christmas for $1000, but why tell him and spoil it? We do a Christmas Club for $1000 every year and I just buy the other stuff here and there. We already got our Christmas gifts for ourselves -- a 46-inch LCD TV for DHand a Dooney Bourke purse with matching wallet for me. Now you all got me excited again about shopping next week. I I always wait until the day before Thanksgiving to do that so I know I won For those of you below who posted that you don Let me just say that I don I sometimes snag a deal or 2, but I learned a long time ago not to wait until Black Friday to get the most sought after items. Best to get them in Sept or Oct.

Do any of you have a spouse [2008-11-20]
who can How do you work it out? Are you just stuck always being the bad guy? Unfortunately, the entire United States is having a difficult financial time. It is obviously not just our household. We have cut back everywhere we can, and I mean everywhere. Our families are having difficult problems as well. We also have an ex-spouse and have had unexpected increases in child support, etc. recently along with unexpected additional expenses where this is concerned. Basically, the child needs new glasses, etc. even though the child really doesn It just seems like it is one thing after another and I know it is for everyone, although the circumstances may be slightly different. My problem is that I have been telling my husband for months that this was coming, along with Christmas, birthday, etc. He hasn Although we have cut back on many things, on my initiative, it just has not sunk in for him until now...when everything finalized and we dont To top this off, he can Ibad guy because he is ok with all of it although he admits he has no idea where the money is going to come from. I have been upfront with my family and when people ask me but is it too much to ask that he do the same? I dont But of course he wants to constantly remind me (the cheap skate and tight-a$$) to cut back on groceries, etc. which I cannot possibly do any more than I have already. We have nothing left in savings. We have no Christmas fund. I I donI told you so but I did tell him and he had no concerns until now...when we are seemingly headed towards financial trouble. I have been working OT but his OT has been cut indefinitely from his employer. I I must say he doesn't buy things for himself..its just the piddling away of $20 here and $20 there on top of our already mounting unexpected expenses.

For my fellow Black Friday shoppers, a little tip [2008-11-20]
Don I know they may seem like a great deal, but usually those items are only $20 to $50 less than they normally would be. The aggravation of trying to get it isn I generally go for the smaller deals -- like the cool PJs on sale and the board games or DVDs on sale. These are great sales. One year, I got 3 Fisher Price/Hasbro games for my 5-year-old for $3 each. DVDs were only $5 each. There were3-piece fleece PJs for $9. These are best deals in my opinion. I Then I spent the next month trying to find one anywhere for my kid for Christmas. I go out early on Black Friday for the excitement and some bargains, but never the big ticket stuff. I have that bought before then and stored away safe and sound. To me, it's like tailgating -- the thing that gets me into the spirit of the season!

My husband is oblivious to our finances [2008-11-20]
Sometimes that It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can I I would suggest talking to the leader of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don It doesn I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn I For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand. As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.

I need some help here -- [2008-11-20]
I am so depressed... I don I just filed bankruptcy 2 years ago because of this job. My income changed so drastically that I lost everything. My car, my home, all of it.I just got things back on track earlier this year and now this crap has to start all over again. I do not foresee being able to make my rent payments on my new house that I just moved into, my cable will be turned off tonight at midnight for nonpayment, I have an old car now and everything keeps tearing up on it and I cannot afford to fix it, I just looked in my closet and I have no clothes to wear anymore, I have gained 50 pounds, I cry all the time, I am by myself all the time in this house, my family all live about 50 miles from me, so it is not affordable to drive there all the time, I have no friends, and as you can tell, I am seriously DEPRESSED!!! I don I have done everything. I have no life outside of my home anymore. I never go out, I never take trips, my 5 year old grandson just this weekend asked me why I did not buy him a birthday present for his birthday last month (no money) and Christmas is coming up, which of course will be more of the same since there is no money... Sorry to unload, just needed somewhere to go for a minute...

Gift card to a game store? (sm) [2008-11-19]
You could hardly go wrong with that. Here we have one called Gamestop and that is always the birthday gift everyone requests.

I have this one from Lane Bryant sm [2008-11-19]
I took out and left out the little air pocket thingies that go in it because they drove me nuts, but it works just as well without them. They have a buy one get one half-price deal on it also. In case the link doesnmy_nav=cat=subcat=item=6017883

this is horrible p.s. [2008-11-19]
If you don't stand up for yourself (and your kids) you will end up with a son who treats his wife the way your husband treats you and a daughter who feels it is okay to be starved by her husband. I get that you have creditors, but you are a family. You can't have some members paying the price and others not. Either everyone eats a little less or no one does & you find a different way to deal with the situation. Food is not a luxury.

We only buy for our two sons, and they are older. [2008-11-19]
The youngest (18) wants a decent digital camera, so I think about $250 to $300 range plus some stocking stuffers. Oldest son is easily pleased. HeIndiana Jones style hat, and a book so far. We may round out his gifts with cash, since he's a starving college student. Husband and I do not exchange gifts. My birthday is the day after Christmas, and that is just dinner out for the two of us. Our 24th anniversary is in January, and I already know that I want to get him an iPod. His 50th birthday is in April, and I would love to have a party for him. I'm definitely saving up for that, but it will be a relaxed party. While are Christmas will be fairly simple, looking ahead, I'm trying to budget for some other things.