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I think the friendship indeed is still there... but [2008-11-24]
That is all there is to it. I am sure in her heart your friend loves you as much as you love her. It is just that, unfortunately in my experience, it is difficult to keep a friendship life-long to the same degree it was when you knew each other and lived closeby. The same thing happened to me and my best friend. We were BFF through first grade until after high school. I lost touch, but eventually visited her at an event after college, but we barely talked. I thought after we did not have the same friendship anymore, or she did not feel the way I did as in BFF. But, looking back, I realized we just grew apart and grew up. I still think of her often, and we have indeed lost touch, but I know to each other we will always be each other's best friend in memory and in our heart.
Just let go a little bit and please don't blame her or you. Please don't dwell on if you gave each other material items or not or if she did not think enough to give you something up to your expectations.
The fact is you have given each other something priceless, a memory in your heart and mind which will last forever and you can't put a price on that. If she is moving away in life, or by the things she does, please don't feel bad. It is not you. It is life. Enjoy the fact that you have not lost touch. And even if you do, after you let go of any expectations, still continue to love her as you always have. Because you and she I am sure will always have what you had and nothing can change that. Now go and enjoy your baby, and your marriage and your life, and keep your feelings the same tucked away in your heart. Don't let time moving on ever ruin that! Just my 2c. All the best to you!
Need some advice on an old friendship -- [2008-11-16]
I got divorced 7 years ago. Started out as a friendly divorce and then I started dating a man that my ex did not like (because he is black) and we quit speaking at all. Then, one of my very good friends started backing off from the friendship andI thought it was because I was openly dating a black man. Well, 4 months later, I heard that she was dating my exhusband. I called her and asked her about it and of course she denied it, could not believe I accused her of that, she would never do that to me..... on and onand on. To make a long story short, of course 2 months later I found out it was true, they had bee seeing each other for about 6 or 7 months.
Anyway, during that time period after I knew that they were together but before they broke up, I would call her occasionally if I needed information on my son (who lived with his dad and would not speak to me at that time becaue of brainwashing) and we stayed friendly on the phone, felt like old times, etc.
Then they broke up and now occasionally I get the urge to call her or she will call me for something, and it is like nothing ever happened. We laugh and cut up and it I have some thoughts though about when it really started, before we were even divorcing or during the divorce, and then sometimes I get really mad because she lied to me in the first place and let me keep trying to have a friendship, and then sometimes I miss her and think it does not matter because we were divorced and he was free and I definitely did not want him back.
My problem is what to do? Forgive her and forget her... forgive her and be friends again... ask her the questions I need answers to and then decide whether to be friends??? And the other big problem is my new husband gets very upset every time I even speak to her because she did thatto me when she was my friend and he says you never go behind friends to their love interests.
Advice please....
My aunts always made friendship bread. [2008-08-17]
Not sure exactly, but they would get a start from someone and always had a little left to use to mix up the next loaf, so on and so on.
The end of a friendship [2008-07-01]
My girlfriend came over one day and was chatting with me on the sofa. I had just gotten home from the hospital from having a hysterectomy and she came to pick me up to go see another friend of hers who was in the hospital having just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer (I couldn't drive yet).
My 2 dogs started scuffling over a bone and my friend got an extremely tiny, a little larger than a pin prick mark on the back of her ankle (either from one of the dog's teeth or a sharp end of the bone, hard to tell). I gave her antiseptic wash, a bandage, said I was sorry and thought that was the end of it. We went to visit our friend.
Awhile later, I answered the door to be served with a summons. We were being sued by my friend. I want you to know that this bite did not even bleed.
She had a tattoo right in the area and when she took pictures of the bite for her attorney, it was very, very hard to see a mark at all.
So, anyway, by the time it went to court (and here is a very ironic thing, the day my husband and I got up and ready to go to court, my sweet Barney, my Schnauzer, died).
Well, between pictures of the injury and her poor performance on the stand (oh God it was unbelievable the way she tried to beef up the whole story), the jury came back with a guilty plea for us. They had to, because our dog or the bone did bite her.
They awarded her the amount her insurance did not cover and I believe 1 or 2 missed days from work. It came to about $1,500. We saw her in the parking lot when we left, she was crying. She was expecting the big payday and it didn't happen.
However, the 10 year friendship did end. We were Girl Scout leaders together for most of those years, our daughters were best friends, but I could never want to be friends with someone who would do such a thing and consider it well, after all, the insurance will pay.
So be careful what you are expecting. Expect the whole thing to take a long time to get to court and the results to be perhaps less than you expect. Now, maybe your daughter is significantly scarred by the dog bite. I don't know and don't want to offend you with my story. Also, hopefully you have pictures that you took right away when it happened. You will probably need them. Plus you will have to be able to find a lawyer who will take it to court for you. My ex-friend's lawyer was about as inept as could be. I almost felt sorry for her.
Thanks for posting this......... sm [2008-11-29]
This shows what happens when people care about other people. What started out as something to help herself over the holiday became a wonderful outpouring of love and friendship.
Guess you never had a bad experience [2008-11-26]
My ex likes to lend things. They get returned...sometimes. When they do get returned, they And usually whoever had them is irritated thatthey had to be naggedto return it, and the friendship suffers. Some friends of his borrowed and destroyed an expensive carpet cleaner last year, he They are no longer friends.
I lent my car to a friend once after she wore me down with her whining. I begged her to treat it gently, it was an old car and I knew she was a rowdy driver. She supposedly needed it to take her poor hurting, mother to the chiropractor. She destroyed my transmission, then refused to pay a cent to help me fix it, because my family had more money than her family.
These were people we thought we knew pretty well beforehand. Rough way to find out what people are really like.
I think you hit the nail on the head. [2008-11-25]
I have also had a few more days to think about what the other posters said too. Whether I want to admit it or not, hormones do make the moment seem worse and make me want to snap into all or nothing.
You have some great ideas. I agree that she didn't need to get me a gift if she wasn't coming to the shower, and probably would have preferred that rather than get me a gift of the wrong gender. At any rate, I will send her a nice thank you and call her to see how her wedding went since I was not able to be there for the big day. I will also make mention to her that evening before I leave that I would still like to see her, if even for a few minutes. It's a male/female shower at a sports bar so if nothing else I would like to get to know her husband better.
I don't want this to ruin the small bit of friendship we still have left or my shower but she was honestly the only person I was really looking forward to being at my shower. but I must get over that and be greatful that we are still friends in some way.
What would you think? [2008-11-24]
Here Best friend and neighbor from kindergarten through highschool. Grew apart with college but stayed in touch. After college I moved out of state, she moved back in state - still stay in touch and email regularly. I see her every time I am in town, if she is available. She is got married in November and eloped in Jamaica. She is having a reception in December. I planned to come to the reception, take my stepchild out of school, etc. only for this reason and its on a Friday so its a 4-day weekendtodrive there.I am pregnant and not able to travel after the holidays. My family decided to throw me a shower there that same weekend because I really canafford to go down again. They specifically planned it for Saturday night so she would be able to make it after her festivities Friday and any of her family leaving on Sunday.
So I saw her recently when I went for a visit and she said she wouldn She then gives me a gift, not wrapped, obviously thrown together and tells me that she picked it up quickly on her way to meet me because she won't be able to make the shower.
It When I got married she sent me nothing, not even a card but she was just out of college. I had planned to give her a $50 gift for her wedding. I received a $10, maybe $20 baby gift of which 1 outfit is the wrong gender. She was well aware we know what were are having. This is my first baby.
My feelings are conflicted on this but the more I think about it, the more upset I get. I just dont Is it truely that she is just wrapped up in herself right now and the marriage moment and happily every after and (after almost 10 years) I am over the marriage thing being some huge, happy,perfect day and realize there is more to life? I feel like she could have atleast planned to stop by the shower for 10 minutes and I wouldn Or she could have even told me she planned to come and then couldn
Sorry this is getting long. I just can Am I clinging to a friendship that is not there?
I think the friendship indeed is still there... but [2008-11-24]
That is all there is to it. I am sure in her heart your friend loves you as much as you love her. It is just that, unfortunately in my experience, it is difficult to keep a friendship life-long to the same degree it was when you knew each other and lived closeby. The same thing happened to me and my best friend. We were BFF through first grade until after high school. I lost touch, but eventually visited her at an event after college, but we barely talked. I thought after we did not have the same friendship anymore, or she did not feel the way I did as in BFF. But, looking back, I realized we just grew apart and grew up. I still think of her often, and we have indeed lost touch, but I know to each other we will always be each other's best friend in memory and in our heart.
Just let go a little bit and please don't blame her or you. Please don't dwell on if you gave each other material items or not or if she did not think enough to give you something up to your expectations.
The fact is you have given each other something priceless, a memory in your heart and mind which will last forever and you can't put a price on that. If she is moving away in life, or by the things she does, please don't feel bad. It is not you. It is life. Enjoy the fact that you have not lost touch. And even if you do, after you let go of any expectations, still continue to love her as you always have. Because you and she I am sure will always have what you had and nothing can change that. Now go and enjoy your baby, and your marriage and your life, and keep your feelings the same tucked away in your heart. Don't let time moving on ever ruin that! Just my 2c. All the best to you!
I have an old friend--or ex-friend really... [2008-11-24]
I let something stupid, the details of which I really cannot even remember fully get in the way of our friendship and I miss her terribly. I realize now that it was stupid and that one little let down - or big let down, for that matter - is not bigger than all the times that she was there for me. I was selfish and stupid and not as understanding as I should have been of where her life was at that point in time. Sometimes, I think that taking the back burner is what we need to do to be good friends. I wish that I had been older and a little more understanding when this little (should have been little, anyway) fight happened. I might still have my friend.
You could have this happen to you sm [2008-11-24]
where you disconnected from someone because of something petty (shower) and then when you really had time to look back on it and put it into perspective, along with putting yourself in her situation, you realize that you miss your friend and try to reconnect.
When you do, you find out she actually died a year before. Think about that before you make a decision to end the friendship. I wish I had.
First off, you're pregnant [2008-11-24]
that in itself will make this situation feel 10 times worse than it is. Having said that, I do agree that I would be a little miffed, myself. It She
I would also agree with the poster below that you have grown apart. Being that you Ifun years before I got married and then before I had children. You're just at different places in your life.
The best way to handle the situation is to go to her party as planned. I would not splurge for the $50 gift card. I If youwild days. You don Anyone would understand a pregnant woman would be tired from such a long travel and then the party. When you leave, be sure to seek her out and let her know that you If not, let it go.
If you haven Believe it or not, some people would think they didn You have so much to look forward to and baby showers are way better than bridal showers/receptions anyday. You can eat as much as you want and all your guests will say is how cute you look. Don
Help is a safety net you have paid for sm [2008-11-21]
Food stamps are a safety net we all pay for, all forms of public assistance are things we have been paying for all along. TAKE the help you need! Do move closer to family if you possibly can.
I have been in your shoes myself. I lost my home to foreclosure 4 years ago because of having a near-fatal drug interaction and losing my job of nearly 7 years. I made a couple of moves and finally ended up in a small town out of state from where I had lived for 30 years. I lived with a close friend for about 9 months and had the opportunity to buy a mobile home for $3000. The people I bought it from said I could make payments and I was able to pay it off in 5 months. It needed a lot of work and it has gotten it, most of which I have done myself. This project really helped me to regain parts of myself I had lost. It gave me a reason to get up and get going on my days off. I turned this ugly old thing into a lovely, comfortable home I cherish. I have lost about 50-60 lbs since living here and I have brought the idea of vastly cutting expenses in line with making more money. The end result is that I am very well off financially, better than in my entire life.
DO get medication to help you if you can. I didn't have medication to help because I am allergic to every psychotropic in existence. I did this by pulling myself up by the boot straps, but if I could have had help, I would have. There IS a brighter future out there. You CAN have that brighter future because you DESERVE IT. That said, no one expects you to get there alone!!!
Don't be embarrassed to ask and receive help. You will be able to help others later. Years ago, when my kids were young, I was a single parent, no support and it was Christmas time. My kids didn't even have adequate clothing or food. A neighbor I hardly knew handed me a Christmas card. Inside was a $100 gift card to K-Mart. She said that many years before that, she had been in my shoes and someone had given her $100 one Christmas, she was now paying this forward to me. The only provision was that I return this favor when I could, and that I bought something for myself too because I deserve nice things for my hard work. It was a turning point for me. I have been more of a giver since. Although I could have paid this back last year, I didn't know anyone who would appropriately benefit. This year, I do and I had to tell her that I was going to do this and why. She cried and felt embarrassed because, she said, she was usually in the position to give and it hurt a little to receive. I reminded her that she was GIVING me the gift of giving with pleasure.
Others are going to give to you with pleasure, love, friendship and concern for your well being. TAKE IT. One day you'll post back here about how good things are and I'll want to hear it.
I would start charging the JA for room and board - sm [2008-11-16]
If he is so lazy he wonfriend, and tell him the gravy train has stopped and he needs (1) to either take the dogs and take care of them himself, (2) start paying you $200 a week to feed and board the dogs (a bargin)--and if he fails to pay the dogs go to a no-kill shelter (and stick to it), (3) in the future if he does take the dogs back, that he has to find other arrangements for their room and board whenever he is away, unless he pays you in advance with cash and supplies the food.-- yeah he will think you are a shrew but who cares, I'd be so mad at both of them, DH for not understanding and being a wuss for not talking to his friend, and the friend for being the typical male and taking advantage of a good thing. Good luck, and stick it to them!
Need some advice on an old friendship -- [2008-11-16]
I got divorced 7 years ago. Started out as a friendly divorce and then I started dating a man that my ex did not like (because he is black) and we quit speaking at all. Then, one of my very good friends started backing off from the friendship andI thought it was because I was openly dating a black man. Well, 4 months later, I heard that she was dating my exhusband. I called her and asked her about it and of course she denied it, could not believe I accused her of that, she would never do that to me..... on and onand on. To make a long story short, of course 2 months later I found out it was true, they had bee seeing each other for about 6 or 7 months.
Anyway, during that time period after I knew that they were together but before they broke up, I would call her occasionally if I needed information on my son (who lived with his dad and would not speak to me at that time becaue of brainwashing) and we stayed friendly on the phone, felt like old times, etc.
Then they broke up and now occasionally I get the urge to call her or she will call me for something, and it is like nothing ever happened. We laugh and cut up and it I have some thoughts though about when it really started, before we were even divorcing or during the divorce, and then sometimes I get really mad because she lied to me in the first place and let me keep trying to have a friendship, and then sometimes I miss her and think it does not matter because we were divorced and he was free and I definitely did not want him back.
My problem is what to do? Forgive her and forget her... forgive her and be friends again... ask her the questions I need answers to and then decide whether to be friends??? And the other big problem is my new husband gets very upset every time I even speak to her because she did thatto me when she was my friend and he says you never go behind friends to their love interests.
Advice please....
I say forgive, of course, but forget, NO WAY......sm [2008-11-16]
To be a true friend and truly care for someone, you first have to respect them and honor their dignity....how can care for anyone, friend, lover, or whatever, if you cannot be TRUTHFUL? How can you say you respect someone whiile blatantly lying to them? As a Christian and hopefully good person, I belive we always have to forgive, but to forget as if nothing had happened, that is impossible, I would think. She betrayed you by lying, not by seeing your ex, that is HER problem if she wants a second-hand loser, but friendship is a sacred bond, I am sure you can forge some newer, better friendships, can you ever feel any confidence in this woman again? Just my firm opinion, I had this done to me many years ago when very young, and although we tried, the friendship was never the same, for obvious reasons. God bless in your decision!
I need some advice [2008-11-15]
Ok this is the story:
My husband is still friends with his first girlfriends family. This does not bother me. She did a couple of things to really disgrace her family when she was dating him but after a period of time he still kept in touch with them as we live in a very small community. When we met and got engaged they were all very kind to me and the mother even did the cake and flowers for our wedding. The ex is never around much so no big deal.
Well this past weekend her great grandmother passed. My husband had known this woman for sometime and the mother asked him to come to the funeral and told me I was not to feel like I shouldnI. To which the ex rolled her eyes and looked at her HUSBAND. So we walked away. To tell you the truth, we didn't really care.
Well we get a phone call about an hour ago from the exum we aren Well, knowing how immature the ex and her husband are, we knew they were behind this (plus we could hear them in the background). So my husband told the boy Look, it
Well a few minutes later he gets a text message from the brother saying my mom can (which obviously is not true since we saw her Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon and she was obviously not mental). So my husband sent back a message saying Look, whatever issues your sister has with me and your mom having an ADULT friendship, she needs to take those up with your mom, but quit trying to start drama.
Well a few minutes later the phone rings. My husband handed me the phone. Knowing how mad he was at the moment, I answered. It was the ex. She asked if she could talk to him, and I said No. This needs to stop right now, it She said well my mom is really going crazy and she can. She went on for about five minutes and I said fine, we won
I'm just so angry right now! I mean this is high school drama! What would you do? I know the mom will be absolutely heartbroken if my husband and I just stop coming to see her and talking to her (since her lovely daughter never comes home). I mean except for the funeral, we never go around if she is going to be there, and we don't sit there and talk bad about her or anything.
I honestly think she knows she screwed up by messing around on him SIX YEARS AGO and is just upset that he's married and happy and it sounds like her husband is a jerk.
Been there. [2008-11-08]
I now do oven baked carmel corn and put it in the Dollar Store holiday jars. Also do a lot of recipes in a jar things (hot chocolate mix, muffins, MM cookies, friendship teaand use canning jars w/ the lids in holiday fabric. I spend a Saturday doing these mid November and then always havethem on hand for gift giving as everything has a pretty long shelf life. Fun to do too.
Tortoise and Hippo Friends [2008-10-31]
The turtle pets reminded me of this cool friendship. Ah, love ... it has no boundaries!!
Photos here: (be sure to look at bottom two!)http://www.treehugger.com/files/2008/02/baby_hippo_mother_tortoise.php
And
audio here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4754996
She is only 19 and we are so close sm [2008-10-29]
I told her this week that I will always love her as her mom, support her like her mom, be concerned for her like her mom, but that we have both allowed our relationship to flower into a friendship where one happens to be 28 years older than the other and that one gave birth to the other.
She has given me so much to be proud of, so much to be thankful for, and this is part of it.
I think [2008-10-02]
people choose people for a variety of unconscious reasons. One of those complex and simple things (at the same time). Really hard to pinpoint though. Also, mannerisms also fall under the category of looks, so that factors in as well.
Sometimes I think someone gets hung up on someone for one or two elements. I think ultimately there has to be more for it to last though, so then it comes down to connection and friendship.
The end of a friendship [2008-07-01]
My girlfriend came over one day and was chatting with me on the sofa. I had just gotten home from the hospital from having a hysterectomy and she came to pick me up to go see another friend of hers who was in the hospital having just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer (I couldn't drive yet).
My 2 dogs started scuffling over a bone and my friend got an extremely tiny, a little larger than a pin prick mark on the back of her ankle (either from one of the dog's teeth or a sharp end of the bone, hard to tell). I gave her antiseptic wash, a bandage, said I was sorry and thought that was the end of it. We went to visit our friend.
Awhile later, I answered the door to be served with a summons. We were being sued by my friend. I want you to know that this bite did not even bleed.
She had a tattoo right in the area and when she took pictures of the bite for her attorney, it was very, very hard to see a mark at all.
So, anyway, by the time it went to court (and here is a very ironic thing, the day my husband and I got up and ready to go to court, my sweet Barney, my Schnauzer, died).
Well, between pictures of the injury and her poor performance on the stand (oh God it was unbelievable the way she tried to beef up the whole story), the jury came back with a guilty plea for us. They had to, because our dog or the bone did bite her.
They awarded her the amount her insurance did not cover and I believe 1 or 2 missed days from work. It came to about $1,500. We saw her in the parking lot when we left, she was crying. She was expecting the big payday and it didn't happen.
However, the 10 year friendship did end. We were Girl Scout leaders together for most of those years, our daughters were best friends, but I could never want to be friends with someone who would do such a thing and consider it well, after all, the insurance will pay.
So be careful what you are expecting. Expect the whole thing to take a long time to get to court and the results to be perhaps less than you expect. Now, maybe your daughter is significantly scarred by the dog bite. I don't know and don't want to offend you with my story. Also, hopefully you have pictures that you took right away when it happened. You will probably need them. Plus you will have to be able to find a lawyer who will take it to court for you. My ex-friend's lawyer was about as inept as could be. I almost felt sorry for her.
I have a friend who is just like the woman you described. [2008-05-22]
I hate being at her house and limit my contact with her around her children. My children are grown and hers are 18 and 16 years old. As you would expect, her childrenI Shocking enough all by itself, but he was shouting this at his mother, and she had no problem with it.
This sort of language is disrespectful, and the children learn to be disrespectful, as well. I'm close to ending our friendship over this. But, I have to say, we weren't very, very close to begin with.
It sounds to me as though you are doing [2008-05-07]
an excellent job at handling this situation. Your daughter sounds like a sweetheart! Teaching your daughter not to tolerate being treated poorly by friends is a wonderful way to elevate her self esteem even at this young age. Youfriendship will soon fade away as they grow in different directions. You sound like an awesome mom to me!
Oh my! Poor you and your daughter! [2008-05-07]
The first hint that the other mom was improper was saying you were not a good Christian. That in itself is verbal abuse and shows where her daughter gets it. Proves to you that your daughter is truly being bullied. Great you talked to the teacher. Tough you canstop. Then if the person continues to turn and walk away. This is what I learned in abuse counseling. This goes for any situation young, old and in between. On the phone same thing. Say stop and then if they donI am hanging up now. to give them the heads up. It sounds like you and your daughter have good hearts and unfortunately bullies can smell that out. Happened to me my whole life, and every day I have to remind myself the rules of true friendship versus a wolf in sheepyou are not a Christian, stuff. I am a Pastorstop. Well they do not, so a lot of members leave. That's another story about bullies. Different forms and different disguises, same MO.
Good luck to you!
I would consider a different course [2008-05-01]
I They all told me the same thing. Ibut gifted in a realm that requires like minds to understand. If you are indeed gifted, you know that there are times when you feel no one could possibly understand. The greatest comfort Icommunicating with other gifted individuals. There are many more options open to finding resources now thanks to the internet, and I You are not alone.
I watch! [2008-04-07]
I love history, thanks to some gifted teachers I had back in grade school. They told us that in order to understand and enjoy history, you must put historical information in context. That is, you need to remember the PEOPLE and relate to them. These were people just like the rest of us with the same concerns for family, home, safety, etc. So, I always try to imagine me doing the things that people in history did. If things were so bad in the U.S. today, could I fight to change and throw off that government, then work to build a new country? It's amazing what these people did.
So, I've always tried to imagine myself in the position of the people we learn about in history. I try to imagine life in their time, and try to imagine doing what they did in the current time.
And when it comes to David McCullough, I can't praise enough. He can bring history alive for even the most history-hating person. I highly recommend his book on which this series is based. There is far more detail. The series really doesn't show the depth of the friendship between John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. They were the fastest of friends and admired and respected each other greatly. That friendship developed during their time together in France, but that part of John Adams' life was only briefly shown. I believe the next episode will show how their friendship crumbled when they were President and Vice-President together.
Oh! I also have to admit that since I live in Philadelphia, it's very easy for me to imagine these events in the place where they happened. Back in the early 1980s, I worked just across the street and on the eastern corner from Independence Hall. Prior to the 9/11 security, I could simply wander in and out of that building, and all the other historic buildings in the area. I used to just sit on a bench and look at that building and imagine Adams, Jefferson and all the others walking in and out of the place.
If you really like American history, I also recommend McCullough's book on Harry S Truman. I downloaded it as an audiobook and listened to it on my iPod. I loved it, and I hear it is also in the works for an HBO miniseries.
Am I way off here? [2008-03-24]
My DD has had an on and off again friendship with a guy she met almost four years ago when she was going into 9th grade. He was going into his senior year and after my husband and I flipped and forbade her to see him, I came to realize it was just a friendship. I met him and really like him. He We relented and allowed them to see each other only at the mall, in public, no touching, no going anywhere together. He had a girlfriend. They
Fast forward - two months ago she hears heup with his girlfriend. He came home on Easter break and my DD, now 16-1/2, wants to see him. She
I want to let her. I trust her - she I think, though they Trouble is, my DH only sees the age gap - he
It Any suggestions? Is there a way I can help convince Dad that it would be okay? Should I just butt out? I don That
I'm blessed to have two. [2008-03-17]
There was a time when I didn't think I'd ever trust or be friends with anyone again, but since rekindling a friendship with a woman I knew since I was 20 it's been great. We go walking once a week. So far I keep it to just one day of talking with her so that time we do walk, we chitter chatter about anything and everything under the sun. My other friend's been there for me for almost 15 years. We have our ups and downs, but I think I can confide anything with this friend and vice versa.
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