The poster was right....

Agree with poster below that [2008-11-20]
you need to get out of that situation, especially after reading what you son said. He is being damaged, and I have seen firsthand what that damage can do to you as an adult. Dysfunctional doesn't begin to describe it. Take action ASAP. I wish you the best of luck, I know it isn't easy.

The other poster is correct.... [2008-11-19]
I think it was on What Not To Wear or one of those shows where I heard if you have that problem it is because the cup size is not big enough for you. With that size naturally I wouldnpush up because those have a lot of extra padding to give the push. Maybe go to a store in the mall and talk to them. Surely they will have a suggestion for your size and style interest. Doesn't mean you have to buy it there, just get the idea and then go to Target or someplace and buy what you want a little less expensive.

Poster below is right -- this Saturday [2008-10-27]
Nov 1, before you go to bed, set your clocks back 1 hour. Spring forward, Fall back. Happy Halloween!!!

I saw that in the latimes. the poster didn't take that. [2008-10-18]
nm

above poster is not shellly I am [2008-10-17]
I sign my name to my posts. I actually signed off and left to make dinner. that was not me

Agree with this poster, you cannot let [2008-10-17]
this slide. Also, if he is posting pictures on the Internet, in certain parts of the country schools monitor this and they can and have taken action against the student. You need to be firm on this and definitely discuss it with his father. So what if your son is devastated by his father's reaction, in the long run it is the best for him.

I agree with the other poster. [2008-10-16]
Unless its a kid that you know has been in trouble before, I wouldn't assume anything. My son is not a teenager yet but he says things that he just says because he thinks someone else will think its funny or cool...not because he is doing it or agrees. I also have 3 older nephews, in and just beyond teenage years, and they do the same thing. Two are great kids, they say things but clearly do not participate. Being the aunt they tell a lot more with honesty than they do to the parents. The other...well is just irresponsible. I think he says a lot to keep up with people too but wouldn't put anything past him if peer pressure is involved. Just his personality and demeanor says a lot. If you sit down with a teenager and talk to them as if they are adult you would be surprised some times at the things they will tell you in honesty.

I disagree with the other poster [2008-09-30]
While forgiveness is divine, forgetting is just plain dumb. I would not let this incident go by without discussing it with the mother of the daughter as well as the teacher and the school principal. Personal space or not, that girl had no right to put her hands on your son. She was not defending herself. She was not in harms If she gets away with this now, it will only continue. In public school, this kind of thing would be handled by suspension of the girl. Boy or girl, big or small, every child has the right to feel safe in school. That See to it that this private school enforces it. Only you can make them accountable. I realize how angry you must be right now, but hopefully by posting this and sleeping on it tonight, you

I agree with the poster below [2008-09-01]
Just because he is your future son-in-law doesn't mean he owes you anything. It sounds to me like you want to cause problems between him and your daughter because of this when you say you think she should have talked to him. This is between you and him. You asked for help, he told you what he could offer, take it or leave it. It sounds to me like he made the comment about not having things placed or set up because he expects that you would want that. I certainly don't know your relationship with him or your daughter and do believe there are always 2 sides to every story and feel like we didn't get the second side to this story. I don't say any of this to make you feel bad in any way. Your situation reminds me of my own mother. Except that she will do whatever she can to get things resolved before asking either of her son-in-law's to help and they are more than willing to do anything for her...she just knows that they work full-time, have a family, and life is hectic. When she does ask something she asks them directly (not through the daughter) and asks for bare minimum - she usually gets much more than that on the son-in-law's own accord not because he is obligated.

not at all. Not sure why it would make poster [2008-08-21]
the lowest i have weighed since middle school. I've been on depo for 5 years, have hypothyroidism and a sednetary job. It's all about calories in, calories out and self control.!!!

I'm poster from above... (it's possible) [2008-08-04]
You know the spots you see in pictures sometimes? You think it Well we took a family pic (SIL took the pic) and there was a huge spot. My son told me he learned about Spirit Orbs at school. Well, I think the Orb was my mother. I We lost my Mom about 2 years ago. The kids were very attached to her. She my son said I think that Orb is MeMe (that Also, my son (he He said they looked young and MeMe told him don My Dad died about 13 years ago (my son was only 5 months old). So, you see, kids deal and see things different. Your son probably does see images or what he perceives as ghosts and it frightens him because he is so young. The sleeping arrangements in your household is your business. Whatever works. I used to sleep with my Mom when my Dad worked nights, and I was probably in junior high at the time. My Dad worked shift work.

This poster has wonderful advice and I second it!! nm [2008-07-22]
nn

I agree with this poster. nm [2008-07-09]
h

Agree with poster above. DO NOT take $ out of 401K...sm [2008-07-07]
>> My H wants to take 15k out of his 401k and be done with it. He says we are still young and we can still make it up. >> I was watching Suze Orman's show recently, and she had someone who wanted to do this. The woman was in her early 30s and wanted to take money out of her 401K to pay off $22,000 in cc debt, just to be rid of it. Suze said NO, and here's why - taking money out of a 401K now, instead of at retirement, means you'll have to pay penalties (state and federal) plus taxes which will equal about 35%. So in order to end up with $22,000 (to pay off her cc debt), she would actually need to take out about $35,000 from the 401K! So it would cost her $13,000 to pay off that $22,000. Not worth it. And if that isno) Suze said we need to stop looking at our 401Ks like their our piggy banks/savings accounts. They're for us to live on in *retirement.*

I agree with this poster and so does Dave Ramsey. sm [2008-07-04]
Get your hands on anything of his and follow the recommendations. He has helped me greatly. As Reality Check says, and I agree, our economy is in dire straits and not having any financial worries will be worth the effort to get there. Good luck to you and your wife.

I agree with above poster.... [2008-07-04]
This is being blown way out of proportion. This is normal dog behavior. Maybe you should keep your child in your own yard. It would be different if this dog went into your yard and then attacked her!

PS! The poster below was right about UTI's - [2008-05-29]
I lost my previous cat (a 4-year-old male) to acute kidney failure brought on by an obstructed urinary tract. In addition to being a male, which put him at higher risk, he was also a Persian, which get this more frequently than other breeds), and he ate ONLY dry cat food. Just would not touch any kind of wet food. Although I normally only fed him high-quality food by Royal Canin, I also made the mistake of letting him have Meow-Mix as a treat occasionally, for a change. That brand has apparently messed up other cats' pH balances, and I'll always wonder if I killed him by feeding him Meow Mix.... Although he never peed outside his litter box, he did start to pee more often, and in less and less amounts. It had been happening very gradually over about a week, and at the time I hadn't really noticed it. It was only in retrospect that I remembered... AFTER it was too late. Even though he was nearly dead when he was brought in, the emergency after-hours vet clinic saved his life the first time, and for a month he was completely back to normal! But then, overnight, it came back, and the next morning I found him lying in his litter box (another warning sign!) The second time at the vet's, they said the toxins from the first episode the month before had backed up into his system and basically destroyed his kidneys, so at that point I had him put to sleep. So, long story short, especially with a male cat, don't take any chances, and be sure to have your vet check him out. Be sure he's eating at least SOME canned (wet) cat food, and if possible, it might be wise to eliminate dry food altogether. If you do feed dry food, be sure it's a top-quality brand (with NO ingredients from China!) Once again, good luck and best wishes!

As the poster below said...if you are.. [2008-05-13]
havinga tough time making it financially, maybe there are better job choices out there for you. My pointwas that most people who whine about having no moneyusually have the brand new car or two and the payments, a huge mortgage, the latest tech gear, etc. We have a lot of nice things, all paid for, but we took our time getting them. We save where we can, but we arendecision that whatever we want to buy we will either save and pay cash for or charge it and pay it off the next month. As you get older you realize stuff is just stuff, it comes and goes, and the less you canget by on the better.

That's horrible. OP--Don't follow this poster's example. [2008-05-07]
A letter like this is probably the most inappropriate way to have dealt with the situation other than beating the kids up yourself. I'm going to assume this letter was also sent anonymously. Awful, awful, awful.

If you can get the materials like the above poster [2008-04-21]
It's easy to do yourself. I did the point system on my own and it worked really well. My daughter was on WW with me so that helped also. I lost 20 pounds, unfortunately put most of it back on and I'm at it again. My daughter on the other hand, became a vegetarian and lost 30 pounds in three months. Wish I could do that, but I like my meat too.

Have to agree with the above poster [2008-04-16]
While my mom is only in her 60's right now, my dad has already passed and I have NO doubt that when the time comes to take care of my mom, I will get little to no help from my 4 siblings. I think often the burden falls to one child and it would be in your best interest to get power of attorney and just do what you need to do. It It will just cause you more stress and as a result, more stress on your dad. When all is said and done, you will sleep well at night knowing you did all you could for your dad. Your sister will be the one who has to live with herself knowing that she didn't care enough to be there for him.

But you would have if you could have, and above poster did try (sm) [2008-04-04]
So why are you both saying parents don't owe their kids help with getting through college? Poster A tried to help hers and jlynn would have helped hers if she could.

As poster of daughter who misused college help [2008-04-04]
I did it cause I wanted to, not cause I thought I owed it to her. I told her from K that if she wanted a guarantee of college she better get the grades cause couldnt promise we could help her. I just happened to be in a position that I could help when the time came. I have already told DS not to expect the same as we did for DD, cause I was not going to throw my money away. Now, if he makes an effort to help himself, sure, I will help but I will not throw good money after bad. He also knows we are not going to buy him a car, as we did for DD, cause that was a disaster too. Some may say this is unfair, but I see it was a parental learning experience.

Wow - I am the poster above. I think this is a very good option [2008-03-17]
and I would definitely give this a try before my drastic option - good for you!

then I would agree with another poster.. [2008-02-27]
you should probably find someone to talk to about it..with your husband.

just go, forget this child play and really, really enjoy ---- [2008-11-26]
yourself without him. He'll change his tune. If you allow this behavior and kiss pratt for it - you'll have to do that whatever and whenever the whim suits him. agree with other poster - he he can't put himself aside for a couple of hours for your sake and the sake of the whole family...then it is he the problem.

D and Jane [2008-11-25]
I was so surprised to see D and Jane books in our local book store this past weekend. I didn't think they were still in print. When I told my daughter about them she looked at me like I had two heads! LOL. I didn't realize I couldn't type out D???. I couldn't even use the ! in it like the poster above.

First off, you're pregnant [2008-11-24]
that in itself will make this situation feel 10 times worse than it is. Having said that, I do agree that I would be a little miffed, myself. It She I would also agree with the poster below that you have grown apart. Being that you Ifun years before I got married and then before I had children. You're just at different places in your life. The best way to handle the situation is to go to her party as planned. I would not splurge for the $50 gift card. I If youwild days. You don Anyone would understand a pregnant woman would be tired from such a long travel and then the party. When you leave, be sure to seek her out and let her know that you If not, let it go. If you haven Believe it or not, some people would think they didn You have so much to look forward to and baby showers are way better than bridal showers/receptions anyday. You can eat as much as you want and all your guests will say is how cute you look. Don

Bring ads from other stores. Most pricematch..sm. [2008-11-22]
So you donThus eliminating running all over town in a mad rush. All you have to do is get to the sale item at that store first before it It makes it sooo much easier and a lot less stressful. I hope I worded that so it makes sense. I'm tired. Or, get together the day before with a few other people who are going.Each of you is designated a different store and picks up what the others want at their designated store. Then meet for breakfast afterwards to exchange the purchases as well as horror/humor storiesfrom theadventures.Thus, again, eliminating the rushing from one place to another. I think I I heard you can do that for theblack friday sales and some store will even let you buy online and pick up at the store. (later, after the rush and madness is over!) Forthe virgin poster, beware, some people can be downright mean, nasty,rude and even violentthat morning. Seriously.Oh, and NEVER leave your cart unattended if you were lucky enough to getone of the limtedamounts per store items. People will literally take them right out of your cart if you And keep your purse in sight at all times. If you bring a purse, have it hang in front of you and not on your side. I like to just keep my money and/or credit card tucked snugly in my front pocket of my jeans and not even bother with a purse.

I've been there [2008-11-20]
I have been in your shoes. Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm). That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I I canhow depressed III am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in. The poster above is right. You need to see a doctor. I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money. Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance. They will not refuse you. I found a clinic near my house that is part of a largehospital. I was able to see a doctor for a physicalandget my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge. They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again. They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month. Move closer to your family. You My family has been supportive of all the decisions I Spend time with yourgrandchild, kids can make you feel so much better.If you I did. I didn Forjust myselfI was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped outtremendously. I know it You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet. It may take a while, but you will make it. Good luck to you.

Explaining a couple of things sm [2008-11-14]
I studied IQ as part of my Masterget you because your sense of humor is probably well off the beaten track. You probably lack social skills from an early age. Your peers would play childhood games while you preferred to try to improve upon the toys they played with. In school, you didn't have to work very hard in most areas. It all came very easily. You didn't learn how to learn, which is a very valuable skill. You probably have a low frustration level and when something doesn't come very easily, you are prone to giving up. Because you see the world in completely different terms than people of more average intelligence, those same average people call you crazy or mentally ill and tell you that you should be locked up. You don't fit in and despite the higher intelligence, you are remiss to know how to accomplish the feat of being more ordinary. I alluded to this in my previous post. I have the unusual combination of being very artistic, creatively gifted AND being rather intellectually gifted. Yes, I did fall at the 99.6% percentile on the Wechsler. I know what it means and I have a firm understanding that indeed, that score suggests that I possess more intelligence than 99.6% of the people who have taken that test, and only 0.4% are smarter than I am. It has been a life-long struggle to fit in. I am too cerebral for artistic people, and too artistic for intellectuals. I literally have no one I fit in with. I have learned to tone myself down to make it work. I didn't say dumb down, I said tone down. That means I don't intentionally talk over the heads of others and I won't cram what I know down anyone's throat. I have had those people in my life who have been jealous of me. I learn quickly if it is artistic, musical, creative, the written word, history and philosophy. I struggle with math. I took piano lessons 10 years ago. I had 40 of them and had never played the piano before. In 40, 1-hour lessons I could play the Moonlight Sonata in piano solo (not a dumbed down easy version). Most people cannot do that. There many other things I have done in a similar fashion, but this is an example for you. You ask why I am an MT if I am so smart. I make very good money as an MT and I enjoy the challenge. My photographic memory comes in very handy too. I often stop and read up on a disease process I am transcribing about, so that I know what it means. Show me a word once and I'll know it forever. It makes my job easier for me to accomplish. This all sounds like I am blowing my own horn, but I am merely trying to explain. Being highly intelligent wonreally smart is not only not helpful, I think it is the root of the housecleaning issues in my life. In short, it is just great to have a good ol' high number and in the end it makes absolutely difference...if you don't count the fact that people with IQs over 150 are 3 times more likely to be depressed and commit suicide than the average population. People who are 125 to 140 are the most fortunate. They succeed in greater numbers in school, in a job, in life. They are very bright, and likely have learned how to learn. They are more likely to persevere in the face of frustration and challenge. It really isn't all you think it is.

for abc [2008-11-11]
One of your attitudes I am referring to is the one you exhibited in your post entitled for...to be an MT, when you referred to another poster as stuck up, stupid, and a liar about her IQ percentiles. Now you say - I do not want to make myself the target of insults which is so common on this board in case people disagree with one Why then did you disagree with that person in such a manner?

Agree completely [2008-11-10]
I I I was on a dating forum a couple years back and everyone started coming on saying they were geniuses because they took an online test and it said so. I am also well acquainted with the Bell Curve, and also I knew from most of those poster It smelled fishy so I took it, and it padded my IQ by 10-20 points! If you really want to know your IQ (or your child Most online tests are crap, designed to suck you into a marketing ploy, as well as make you look like a fool bragging that you're a genius, along with anybody else that takes it.

for... ..to be an MT........sm [2008-11-10]
I said nothing about being stupid. But the attitude of this poster stating........ '..... have taken a Wechsler and while I won't quote you a number, I will say the person who gave it as part of a psychological evaluation, told me he would diagnose me as way too smart for my own good. He stated that I probably didn't suffer fools gladly because I view most of the world as fools. I only fall at the 99.6 percentile on the Bell curve. No, I don't suffer fools gladly, but I try to be nice while others catch up............' is so stuck up and stupid and I am sure....a lie with the 99.6 percentile. That means the person scored higher than 99.6 percent of the people who took the test, or that only 0.4 percent scored higher than this person. Don't make me laugh. What is so exceptional intelligent about you, may I ask? Did you invent something or what?

YOU'RE the one claiming an IQ of 135 [2008-11-10]
So youdon Free country, I guess. That's up to her to defend. You said - What is so exceptional intelligent about you, may I ask? Did you invent something or what?Did I make claims to genius here? I said my IQ is 126, above average but definitely not the mental goddess you presume that to mean. I I was married to a Mensa member (yes, a certified genius), who also happened to be an engineer - the only things he invented were prescribed by his job. Mostly he uses his brain power to play Dungeons and Dragons! You're the one claiming to have an IQ of 135 - what did YOU invent, since you have preconceived notions of how those with higher IQ should behave? I gently suggest you study up on what IQ is and is not. Basically, it is the ability to learn. What one chooses to learn and what they choose to apply it to is up to the individual. The Bell Curve is good reading as to statistical norms regarding intelligence.

I had to place my mom in a nursing home [2008-11-09]
temporarily when she broke her hip the first time. It was very hard. (I had made a promise to her that I would never put her in one when she got older.) I visited her every day and every day she begged to come home. Shedidnand encourage her to keep up because the sooner she could walk with little assistance, the sooner she could come home. The PT team was great, too, always encouraging her, and she did her best. I found out that they had a hairdresser that came in every week and I paid to get her a haircut and style. After that, she kind of settled in a little bit, but still begged to come home. Thank heavens, she was only there2 months. I don't think I could have stood it much longer. Then when it was time to come home, she wanted to bring the furniture with her. LOL They had cherry dressers and headboards. It was almost like a regular bedroom. Momhe sat there for hours. No one came to see if he needed anything. The room was awful, so small andcheap furniture with old iron hospital beds. Reminded me of a regular hospital. Talked to his son and that's all the insurance company would cover for him so he was stuck. As the other poster said, research the homes as much as possible. Go when the activities and/or PT is taking place and just watch. Talk to the people that live there if possible. Talk to activity director, DON, etc. before deciding. Check the rooms. Watch to see if the CNAinsurance runs out; i.e., where the patients go after that. Mom would have been transferred to the first (MediCare) floor, but she came home before that.

Banks sm [2008-11-07]
I agree with the above poster. Your bank dropped the ball here. Did you write void on the check? Also I wouldnYou need somethingin writing from them and/or Wal-Mart. I hate the way Wal-Mart does their checks now. How do they know it is you that is cashing that check? A person could find or steal a checkbook and start signing andcashing checks at Wal-Mart. They don One more reason I don

Bible believers [2008-10-22]
Where are all of you who take the bible literally? It does speak of people being possessed. I don't think that what was happening, but people didn't know what various issues were (seizures, mental illness, etc.), so they came up with an explanation that made sense to them at the time. But I am wondering why those of you who take the Bible literally don't seem to think this woman could be speaking the truth (or are you just not commenting)? I'm sorry to the poster for your mom, you, and your child. There is mental illness in my family, and I remember seeng/hearing my aunt saying she had demons in her eyes (when I was quite young). She was so mentally ill, she really looked like she did have them!! It freaked me out.

Update on coffee. [2008-10-22]
I used the tablespoon method fromthe poster belowand then measured into my cup measurer. It was almost 1/2 cup of coffee grounds. The coffee tasted just a wee bit better, but still not good enough. I was thinking about buying some already measured coffee to see if that makes a difference, but ya can't just buy one (to test), so I think I'll play around with the measuring a little more. I'm also going to break open the 100% Columbian coffee hubby bought and see if that makes a difference. I had noticed that over the last few months, whenever I opened a new can of coffee, that whoosh never happened like it used to, so I'm thinking these stores/manufacturers are just keeping the coffee in storage too long....probably because of the high prices, people aren't buying as much. LOL

Thanks for your support sm [2008-10-21]
The subject just hit a nerve and I think this girl has a legitimate complaint and her Mom needs help.I just hate my new situation, all brought on by switching churches and thatI love them so much and I think my DIL just needs to lighten up with her new church who are very anti-Catholic. I truly never talk about religion or any private matters, just get down on the floor and get busy playing. There is really no comparison tothe OPsituation, I wouldn't tolerate that either. Sounds like her mom is taking the Bible out of context - a lot of that going around these days!! God would be very upset with it all - family is so important, I can't stand that a church family has taken the place of the biological family. Nobody wins, everybody loses. The original poster has my heartfelt sympathy, that's no way to talk to kids, they are blank slates and we shouldn't fill them up with nonsense in their little brains. Sorry for the raw edges, sensitive lately.

Your life sounds like mine and all [2008-10-16]
the other gays out there. I cannot believe someone actually said that we had an agenda and pushing it down their throats. They are just uninformed and ignorant and unfortunately, they worry too much what goes on behind closed doors. Perhaps if they would not concentrate on the bedroom so much, they could actually see that we are no different from them. I am out and my family and friends accept me for who I am and not what I am - I am no different from anyone else just because I am gay. It still amazes me that people can be so ignorant but that is just the way they were brought up. I was raised to respect all people no matter the color, orientation, etc. Obviously the poster here's why is the one with the agenda.

make sure they are legit... [2008-10-15]
I agree with the poster who said to be careful about the one you choose, because they are not all reputable, which is what I said in my previous post. I have heard good things about CCCS and they were listed on the Suze Orman website. They charge a minimal fee of $30 per month for their service and will help you with nonsecured debt. They will put you on a budget and make arrangements with your creditors for a reasonable payback schedule that you can afford, based on your income. They have me paying $300 a month for all of my credit card bills---on my own I was paying close to $500 a month and could not afford to. They will also attempt to lower your interest rates with your creditors. It is a good last resort, as long as you research and pick a reputable company. I always Google research before I sign on with anything.

Sounds like your dad...... sm [2008-10-15]
is regretting the decision that he made by cheating on your mom and now is having to lie in the bed he made and not liking it. Can He is lonely, and at his stage of life, making these kinds of changescan behard on a man; hence, his always coming around, etc. He has lost his marriage and is now very close to losing his daughter. With all of that said, however, I do not think what he is doing and has done in the past is right, and he is putting you in a very hard position. He needs to realize that you have your own household to attend. Unless he is literally demented and needs your help, you need to learn to say no in order to make him stand on his own 2 feet and to preserve your own sanity. I disagree with the poster above who recommended you and your mother sell your properties and move. Why should you have to be the one to move, even if he is like he is? My recommendation (if the floosie won At least he would have running HOT water and electricity and access to a laundry. He can learn to operate a washer and dryer. I know he is your dad and I know you feel trapped between your duties as a daughter and your feelings about what has happened in your family. I hope you can find a resolution soon to this.

I'm sorry you are going through this. [2008-10-10]
I understand completely how you can feel that you are just done. I hope he had a chance to cool off and think about things, but probably not. I can understand when you say that everyone sees it but him. Friends of ours still say things to me to do this day, one person will say things directly to him, which helps because then HE also knows that its not just me, which can be so difficult. If you decide to stick this out I have some great books that really helped me get through our difficult times. I re-read them from time to time too. There is also a good support website online for stepmoms. Google smoms and you'll find it. I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make. Just make the decision for yourself and not them. Oh, and not sure if it will help at this point or not but another piece of advice - When I felt like the 3rd wheel or not included I woudl do as another poster suggested and leave the situation. It really sucked to feel like I was leaving my own house some times but it felt really good to not tell anyone where I was going, not answer cell phones, and just go get a pedicure, go shopping, or go to a family members house for the weekend (and no my family didn't know anything because I often visited them at other times). just remember, its not YOU, even if he says it. *hugs* and good luck.

After 5 years [2008-10-09]
of being this way, I think itparent in my own home, or not, and I would make the decision on my life accordingly. I was not content with being the friend. Things were better after that point. I think he just needed to know that I did care and I did want to be a part and it wasn't being forced on me...and more importantly the child had to know that my being there, and being included, was not a choice. It was just the way it was going to be. We still aren't as close as we used to be but I think that also comes with growing up and a boy needing dad more than mom. I know how hard this can be but do you really want to live the rest of your life this way? And what's to happen if/when the 2 of you have your own child? Do you want that child to be pushed aside too. Like the other poster said, choose the right time but I think you owe it to yourself and your relationship to have a heart-to-heart with him and let him know how you feel...don't just point fingers. Not saying this will be a quick fix, we still have problems, but it certainly opened the lines of communication for us. Good luck. I hope it works out.

Please ignore the above post [2008-10-07]
My hubby often does not listen to me but I know for a fact he is not having an affair. I have just quit listening to him as well. It has become a joke in our family. Not to make light of your situation, I know yours is more serious, but donknows he is having an affair is ludicrous.

You're right, quirks do not = affairs but [2008-10-07]
I'm certainly not saying he is but poster does say the house is very busy and sometimes as wives, we tend to be so busy, we at first don't see these things as pointing toward anything like an affair. Now, maybe he's not and maybe he is just hard of hearing, which too can explain his agitation when she has to repeat stuff to him and he sees her frustration as well. But, if henot listening takes place. Been there myself and it did start just like that. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts he didn't care about anything else and did get agitated/angry at me if I had to repeat or ask him something. Poster just needs to re-evaluate where he is at and when and if his routine has changed. Just don't be blind!

Hmm [2008-10-07]
I can see falling into the freezer. I am quite petite and yesterday was stretching to reach something at the bottom. Our freezer is a pretty good size and I would fit easily. BUT, like the other poster said...what friend looks in the freezer for someone? I could see a husband maybe thinking he's going to start dinner while the wife is out and then finding her. I know hubs starting dinner, good one huh. lol

Don't know what starting this p-ing match [2008-09-27]
It's pretty funny really, because I never thought agreeing with another poster would get anyone so fired up. I have friends and family that I can depend on, but there are things I expect my husband to do for me that I would not expect from a friend or even my family. I think if I would end up widowed, I'd have no problem being alone. I really don't know that I would want to get back into the whole dating thing again. I only stated that when being married works, it works well. However, I get a definite hostile vibe from you, which I really don't understand. I don't know you, I don't know your situation and if you say you're happy, that's fine. Just don't try to make me feel like an incomplete human being because I say I'm happy being married.

I agree [2008-09-27]
In college forty years ago I had a huge poster of him on the back side of my dorm room door. I loved all of his movies. He was such a character in Empire Falls. quote: I gotta pee. If you have not seen that TV movie, rent it.