They are both the kids parents they should both help (nm)

No where either. My mother didn't raise any foolish kids. LOL nm [2008-11-28]
nm

If you tell your kids that Santa Claus is real [2008-11-26]
I don nephew are 5 mos. old) it if they find out you lied there will be consequences and other remarks like that. We were talking the other day and without even thinking we were talking about how Uncle Joey usually dresses as Santa but this year we might want to ask his son to take over and our friends child heard our discussion. Well, she got so mad because we were insensitive to her daughter and we don Come to find out that her kids all think Santa is real. The oldest is 17, well, I So I wondered if she is lying to her children by telling them santa claus is real?

both my kids figured it [2008-11-26]
My kids never believed in Santa, and they would ask is there one and I would say yes, and change the subject because my kids have big mouths and would have marched into preschool and educated everyone else. So the answer is yes, change the subject, donhonest with your kids. We just minimalized the importance of it and get on with the rest of christmas.

LOL!!! My kids would probably like your name [2008-11-25]
xx

I think you are doing the best thing for your kids [2008-11-25]
My youngest is now 21, but I was much the same kind of mother you are. I hated video games from the first time they came out and my boys NEVER had any of them. We played lots of board games, they had a few little computer games, but none of the Nintendos or any of that stuff. They built stuff with Legos, played with each other, played outside in the yard and probably their favorite things were large cardboard boxes and their imaginations. My kids have grown up to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted, much more so than their couch-potato, gamer peers. So hang in there!

This all comes down to the parents [2008-11-25]
I think those women are making a big mistake. I love my sister and nephew, don But he is like that 7 yo and it drives me crazy. BUT my sister and BIL are to blame, I feel. He gets a toy every time they He gets a new toy if he My sister feels guilty if he likes something and she doesn They buy him major video games just because, instead of reserving these things for birthdays or Christmas. They will go out and buy him a $200 item in the middle of the week and when I ask what the occasion is? Nothing, we just thought he'd like it! He is well behaved and they don Yes, it Growing up when we would talk, my sister had definite opinions about what she would and would not do when she had children, and this is not how she felt back then. But he doesn In my opinion, they Just my opinion.

My sister's kids play video games [2008-11-25]
constantly and have for a decade.They always have to have the latest game. She has 4 kids - 3 are obese and one is overweight. We don I I know my husband has wanted to get one. I have 3 kids and they are all very slender. They aren It's a health issue to me, and also a mental health issue, because they are addictive.

Looking for turkey day suggestions for fussy kids who hate everything but brownies! [2008-11-24]
Everything else is greeted with - yuck only the grownups eat anything. Posted below what the grownups like. Now if I could get the kids to eat!

Selfish parents [2008-11-24]
People are selfish these days...no one wants to be bothered with their own kids...and before you think I am TOO old, I am only 49 with 18 and 24 year old sons. I A DD too sounds like she resents having to help her children with homework and extracurricular activities. That is the price you pay for the joy of raising your children...get over it. My dh and I have been active in our kids sports and school all their lives and it just shocks me at how many people give their 8-10 year olds $20 and tell them go play somewhere while they are out at a hockey rink, or school gym and these are the kids causing trouble or running around like banchees. Someone could snatch them up at any time and then they Also I Before my kids started kindergarten they knew their numbers, colors, letters, could print their name and could read some words, because my husband and I spent the time with them to teach them, spent time WITH them. that is what you do when you're a parent...sorry but this is my biggest pet peeve about parents today.

My kids and I are chocoholics [2008-11-24]
and one of the recipes that we love and is really simple is the No-Bake Cookies. That's what we called them when I made them (all the time!) as a kid. Also called Refrigerator Cookies, and the recipe I use today, from a cookbook my Mamama gave me that her church put together, calls them Quick Fudge, I believe. I call them Chocolate-Oatmeal-Peanut Butter Yum-Yums. They are made with sugar, butter, and cocoa boiled, then add the peanut butter, quick oats, and vanilla, dropped on waxed paper and cooled, then chilled in the fridge. If you want to make them post here and I'll grab the recipe tomorrow to give the quantities. Also, I absolutely love Pine Bark, and it is very easy to make as well. Lots of recipes for that on-line. Have fun!

My kids like them also but...... [2008-11-21]
They also know that money spent elsewhere is money that takes away from their gifts :). Two of the three have birthdays in December, so that makes a difference. December is a killer for me but at least I get it all knocked out at once and have another year to plan!

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.

Dogs v kids [2008-11-18]
I am a sucker for a pretty face & don't have kids, so I am at my dogs' mercy. You should see their stockpile of dog treats. It's ridiculous. School lunches. $2 a day! Doesn't sound like a lot for a meal, but it sure adds up...you would think they would give you some kind of deal because you have 3 kids. I guess I'm assuming they all go to the same school. Now I'm dating myself, but when I was in elementary school I think it cost 40 or 45 cents for lunch. A nickel for milk. Amazing!

Anybody watching the kids [2008-11-18]
on Dancing With The Stars? Good golly, those kids are good. Must take a good deal of discipline to get that far. Love it.

Most are just hoping to have some joy for their kids sm [2008-11-14]
Wefantasy. They do put it together at a certain age and itWe had an older kid who spoiledour Christmas party because he thought it his business to out the Santa thing to the younger ones as he was, bless him, highly intelligent and was told the truth from birth. Had some kids crying at one point. I think the point is, do what's right for your own family and try to have something for the kids to look forward to in these hard times especially. There is no right or wrong, just all interpret things differently and we're all very tired of all this bad news going on in the world. Have to look forward to something! Happy Holidays, no matter how you celebrate! We adults know the reason for the season. Bottom line - be happy! Life is temporary, imagination is wonderful, it takes us away from the bad news for awhile. Joy to the world and to each his own. As long as the older kids keep the secret to themselves, they also should enjoy the excitement of watching the little ones have fun with it. It's all good.

Probably borrow from his parents - sm [2008-11-13]
they are loaded, though act poor (have a couple mil in the bank). Borrow enough to a pay off the house $40K if they would go for it, and I think they would, or sell the house (borrow from them until house is sold) and either rent for a while (we'd have about $140K after the sale of the house and mortgage paid off) or buy a much smaller house. We have land we can sell too so we would not be destitute though it would cause some problems.

Bringing your kids to see their granddad sm [2008-11-05]
My perspective: I had an uncle who was severely ill several years ago. His sons lived in different parts of the country and when he was well enough, they flew him in to visit. I could not see him so often, so I decided to write little notes to him from time to time. Talked about some funny things that he had done and how much they made me laugh. When he was gone, my aunt told me how much those trips and the notes meant to him, it was like a gift that he and the family got to experience before he was gone, a chance to say good-bye, that many people don't get. My prayers are with you and your family.

How do I tell the kids about Grandad? [2008-11-04]
We are going to see him at the hospital tonight, how do I tell them he has 2 weeks to 2 months to live? Or should I tell them at all and just let them visit with him as normal? The are 12 and 14.

Why when I am watching the kids is it a given and when my husband watches them he is (sm) [2008-11-03]
babysitting?

For your future and that of your kids [2008-10-24]
You may not think so, but you've got a lot of things going for you, the most important being that you realize you need to do something. Short term: You've gotten great advice about making small changes, like exercising, losing weight, etc. Go for it. Long term: YouThe journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step? Take that step and you will be surprised what you can do.

I do believe the Bible, I just don't want my mom scaring my kids (sm) [2008-10-22]
And she used swearing on the Bible as a way to further convince the children that she had seen demons and ghosts, as if they weren't scared enough. That was the kicker...that really scared them even more.

Bullying...your kids [2008-10-22]
How would you handle it if you were to find out it was your child who was the bully?What if it was your child that was being bullied?

Thank goodness both my kids are pretty much grown up sm [2008-10-22]
Both are in college, one away and one at home. My gift will be supporting them in everything they do unconditionally, past, present, and future. Just can't do gifts this year. But I WILL have my traditional 3-foot tree LOL. Rays in WS is enough for us all, though!! :-)

I have banned my mom from seeing my kids [2008-10-21]
Your situation is similar to mine, but my mom has gone a little further. I have 4 children,2 from my first marriage and 2 from my second. My second husband has been with my older two children since they were 4 and 5 and we have been married for 11 years (so obviously he is not going anywhere). I found out about a year ago that she had been talking to my oldest two kids for years about how horrible she thought my husband treated my older kids and how he doesnown children. We had been having problems with my 16 year old daughter at the time and everything can now stem back to much of this. We couldn But they were being fed information behind our backs. Everything from he is cheating on your mom, he is abusing your mom, he is a scumbag, etc. My mother also believes in the other side which is fine with me, but don We don She would frequently talk to my youngest two, who are only 7 and 8, about traveling out of body, talking to spirits, and how they were reincarnated. This was on top of stuff like after being told not to take the kids bike riding down a road that is 55 mph (no sidewalks) with no helmets on and she did it, not just once, but 3 times. Then when I caught her lying about it, she paid off my daughter by taking her shoe shopping! No wonder my kid is messed up. She was told over a year ago to knock it off or supervised visits only (she was told once previously as well). She didnworship her enough for mother It has been the hardest thing that I have had to do, but to save my marrige, my sanity and my kids, I did what I had to do. We live in a small town as well and of course mouths are wagging. The schools are under strict order to not let her in to see them as well and know the situation. My stepfather is dumbfounded and doesn But he is only hearing her side of things. I told him to get her into counseling and that would be the ONLY way I would even think of mending this, but it has yet to be done. You have to do what is right for your family and if this creates this much uproar in your family, then only you can decide how much you can take.

protect your kids [2008-10-21]
As a mom your first priority is to protect your kids, not protect your mother's feelings. If you feel your mother is crossing the line and won't stop after you talk to her, do what you need to to protect your kids.

These 10 things definitely ain't right: [2008-12-01]
1) MTSOs who want people with top-notch skills and experience, but don't want to pay them what that skill is worth. 2) HMO's: So-called *health-maintenance-organizations* --yet they spend every minute and every dime of their far-too-large profits on denying healthcare, meds and procedures to their patients. These organizations have ruined American healthcare, and many American lives. HMO's have been a con-game since their inception. 3) The Bailouts: Giving money to companies who can too bad for the rest of you.* Then the Big Three show up in DC to beg for a handout, and fly there in private Lear jets. My answer to them would be, *I too bad for the rest of you.* 4) Apartment managers that won't allow even a single quiet, well-behaved pet, but will rent to people with continually screaming small children, and out-of-control older children and teens. Give me the pets for neighbors, ANY day. 5) Businesses that give an age-discount to absolutely everything that walks, runs or flies, but not to the middle-aged middle-class, who need it the most. Take the ski-industry: Young children ski for next-to-nothing, and sometimes nothing. There is a Teen Discount. There is a Student Discount for college kids. There I'll probably never be old enough - it's a carrot-on-a-stick, always just out of reach.) There are even corporate (UGH) discounts. But for those in my age group, who barely make ends meet but like to go up once a year for a couple days of bliss, there is NOTHING. 6) Travel-lodging deals that are always based on double or quadruple occupancy. What about singles? NOTHING. 7) TV commercials that are about a million decibels louder than the regular shows. Why can't it all be the same volume? Same with online newscasts. THEIR commercials will blow your eardrums out if you aren't quick enough turning down the volume before they start. 8) Surround-sound: Everything is too loud, already! Why do we need it coming at us from 4 directions? Why do people living in tiny apartments feel they need it? I've lost count of how many fights I've had with neighbors over this issue. Same with movies and music concerts. Why do they feel we need to feel the music in our SPLEENS? I went to Universal Amphitheater last week. (Now named something else). There is actually a sign outside warning that the decibel level inside might damage your hearing! (?!?!?!) Why do they need this? (To avoid lawsuits, obviously). If it's so loud you have to post a warning sign outside the entrance, then DUH.... it's TOO LOUD! 9) Banks that charge you a fee to use their ATM. They (I haven't actually been INSIDE a bank in YEARS).... and they want to charge US for using the machines instead of the tellers? Forget it. I won't give those banks my business. 10) The Post Office: Talk about rewarding slow, inept performance! The worse their employees are, the longer they seem to stay there. I'd rather have a root canal than go to a P.O. during the holiday season.

crazier every day sm [2008-12-01]
Kids who need designer labels, theme birthday parties, karate, guitar, piano, dance, gym, swim,baseball, soccer all in one week, both parents have to work their kiesta off to pay for all this stuff and the kid has to go to therapy because they are acting tired in school and are always bored in the few minutes they do have at home. They also need food that is on the acceptable food pyramid from the expensive organic markets but end up eating Kraft mac cheese, the orange kind, that they slipped into the carriage when dad or gramma stopped at the store. Oh well, they used to say you have to eat a peck of dirt before you die - not in todayAnd PS - all that expensive cream we put on our faces (if we did) announced today on all stations that they don't WORK! Back to Vaseline!

I remember. [2008-11-30]
My parents used to take us downtown once a year to shop and look at the display windows. Then we would eat at one of the department stores. Dad would take half the kids and mom would take the other half so we could all buy for each other. I remember one year when I was about 6 I was with my dad and my sister and I saw this beautiful red coat I wanted to get mom. We took it up to the counter and my dad told us to give the lady our money. Between us we had 35 cents. We gave it to her and she wrapped it up for us. My dad still tells that story today, how we bought mom a coat for 35 cents. We never did see him give the saleslady the rest of the money, and it was sweet how she played along.

LOL - that reminds me of the other day when [2008-11-30]
my 7 year old son came home from school. He asked me did I know that kids used to not speak unless spoken too. I told him what a wonderful concept that was that we've lost over the years. He just looked at me horrified. His expression was priceless! :)

I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm [2008-11-30]
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles. We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time! I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that. But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother. Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.

2 problems with hubby - any advice??? [2008-11-30]
Problem #1: His hearing. He will not go to the doctor, complains to me all the time that he can not hear me and talks SO loud. I can't tell him anything in the stores or I might as well announce it over the loud speaker which in turn creates an argument (hence, miserable day out shopping yesterday). Problem #2:I dread this time of year with him. He turns into this greedy person that is beyond comprehension for me. Every time he opens his mouth it I always grew up being thankful for what I got and can I never ask for items for Christmas - I appreciate the thoughtfulness that a person puts into getting me something (even if it I also believe the kids come first (3, 2 of which are teenagers) and we buy for them first but it seems I always have to budget my money for the kids and then for him. He does not like inexpensive items either. The last few months I'm the only one who has bought gifts for the kids - he hasn't spent any of his money and is counting on a bonus from his employer that may or may not come through and you never know how much it's going to be. Sorry - and thanks for letting me vent. I've been so stressed lately.

It sounds like she needs brushing, but [2008-11-30]
not a bath right now. You might find a kid right in your neighborhood who would brush her for you for a small fee - their first job. That's assuming your dog has a tolerance for kids and brushing. But I know you don't want to put water on a tangled dog. Always treat the tangles before a bath. My Siberians could go 6 months or longer without a bath most of the time. It depends on the coat and whether the dog has an odor or oily skin or skin problems.

men [2008-11-30]
Me and my husband used to smoke...a lot, each over two packs a day. I got sick and quit, but I did not ask him to quit. He would blow smoke in my face and really kept hoping I would start up again, but I never did. He was really angry with me for quitting. Then his ego could not take it anymore and he quit. He figured if I could do it, how hard could it be? Believe me, he was humbled. Anyone who quits smoking is humbled. Cigarettes are tough to beat. He was really mean to me when he was quitting smoking too like it was my punishment. My point is that no one ever tells you that sometimes you have to stand up to the ones you love, maybe your kids or your husband, whoever. Sometimes people we love take us forgranted or bully us. Maybe we think that if they loved us they would not put us through that stuff. I think the truth is we are just supposed to stand up for ourselves period, even at home. Good Luck!

Raising.......... sm [2008-11-30]
We had raising in those days. I think that is something that seems to be disappearing from society today at an alarming rate. I can remember my mother giving me the big hairy eye if she even thought it looked like I was hinting for something. Kids today just come right out and ask for what the want....or demand it.

I just need to VENT and see what you all think...Beware...this is long...sm [2008-11-30]
I have tried twice to tell this story but deleted it both times because the story is just too long so I will be as short as I can. I have a bunch of ROTTEN TO THE CORE sisters.My sisters are just about the worst people I have ever met in my whole 43 years on this planet. There is one who is especially bad and I just told my other sister that if she ever dies, to please not call me as I won I come from a very large family with 5 sisters and 1 brother with my brother being the oldest. He is not involved. He sort ofleft the family years ago because he couldn They did terrible things to him after his divorce. We rarely see him now.I am considered a scumbag and a loser because my husband and I don We don We don We can We love our children with everything in our souls. They have made fun of me and my husband and insulted us to our faces.My husband and I have a difficult marriage as he is tough to get along with so they hate my husband My sistershave all gone out to dinner without inviting me. I have found out because of someone They have made threats and sent rumors flying throughout the family, without me knowing, about calling DCYF on me. I heard that one too from a slip of the tongue. I cried for 2 hours in the shower that day. They talk about everyone and I mean everyone badly. They have awell known reputation ina couple of our towns here for being mean horrible girls. They are about as fake and phony as a person can get. Sweet and all smiles to your face and when you turn around, they stick that knife in as far as they can get it in. They have what they have in their lives because of what someone has given them. My sister had her property given to her by her in-laws. It is worth about $1,000,000. My other sister had land given to her by her husbandto lessen their mortage burden so now they owe almost nothing on their $500,000 house. They think they are fabulous people. They think they are the cat In the past years when we were all talking and I would be invited to a holiday, I was not spoken to at all the whole time I was there. I am a venter and I always have been so if my husband and I are fighting, I will always go to my older sister (one up from me) and vent and vent until I can She gets on the phone the second I leave and tells every person in my family what is going on. They in turn judge me and my husband, make their threats, and so on. This is also happening to my oldest sister and her partner (she is in a gay relationship but was always dating a man and was married twice) and my sister The three of us, me, my sister and her partner, and my sister We get along well. We are happy with each other. We don Whatever happens in each other lives, we just accept it and don I now attend holidays at my sister I don I don The sisters (I like to call them the Witches of Eastwick) all attend holidays with each other up at my sister The three of us are not invited. My older sister has a son. Several yeas ago, my sister and her partner had a terrible fight with him. He went to the witches and told them a bunch of lies and now they have pretty much shunned her and her daughter and me too because we still talk to her.I have a sister, who is involved in all of this, that I speak to on a regular basis. She is close to my kids or at least my oldest son. She pretty much ignores my other two children and they tell me, It She is the one who has spread rumors about me in the family trying to get everyone to call DCYF on me. I heard this too by a slip of the tongue from another sister a few years back. I tend to be a forgiving person so I quietly forgave her for this without her ever knowing that I knew what she was trying to do. Now that they are all inviited to the holidays up to my sister They are extremely fat just like her. These holiday trips up north are usually kept quiet and I only know about it the day before they are leaving to go, which is when she inevitably asks me to come feed her f******g cats. This is how Iknow that a big party is going on up at the cabin and once again only the chosen selected few are going. This is usually for 3 or 4 days and they get fed twice a day so I have to goto her house twice a day. Sometimes I have to give them medication and the last time she asked me, I even had to soak her sick cat She lives about 20 minutes away from me. This girl would NEVER, NEVER, EVER do this for me. My husband and I took our children on a cruise 3 years ago and we have a cat and I never asked her to do this for me as I know she would have laughed in my face. I have been feeding her cats for years now when she goes away. Keep in mind though that she was in the select chosen few to be invited up to the cabin. I was not as I am considered trash in the family. I am SICK AND TIRED of feeding this girl My sister who invites everyone to go is a mean, horrible, sadistic, vicious, backstabbing wretched b***h. No one will say anything to her like, Gee Pat, where is everyone else? Didn They could care less. All they know is that THEY were invited. Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. I cananymore. I have been thinking of this all day all weekend long. I am really to the point where I just don I am goingto tell my fat a** b***h sister to fnd another way to get her cats fed because I She is just using me and believe me when I tell you, she enjoys it. She is verydiabolical. She loves it that I am not invited and she and her husband are.She even questions me and counts the cat food cans to make sure that I came on all of the days they were gone. These people have balls of brass and I have had ENOUGH.I am just sitting and waiting patiently for the next time she says, Oh, we Can you come and feed the cats? I just canNo. I can I will never feed your cats again! Find some other sucker to do it! I believe that they are severely narcissistic people and this is nothing to take lightly.These types of people are very destructive. Do any of you have family members like this and what do you do about them? How do you stop them from making you feelsad, lonely, excluded andless than you are or deserve? I think it is time for me to cut all ties with them. I just can

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

I feel exactly the same way. [2008-11-29]
When my siblings and I started having kids, we agreed not to buy for each other's families. That has worked out fine. This year, we have NO money. Even though we still have our same jobs, it seems like more money is going out than is coming in. I don't quite understand where the money is going myself, try explaining that to family. I would just like to completely forget Christmas this year. I would even volunteer to work to get out of it. Don't feel bad about being bitter. I find myself getting tired of having no money and having to explain why we can't do the things we used to do all the time. I've started preparing the kids for Christmas, telling them it is going to be real skimpy around here. They are old enough to understand but whether they believe me is another thing.

Has society become this bad and why [2008-11-29]
I saw the post down below about the Wal-Mart worker. Here is a new article that just came out (link below). The police are now looking at video surveillance to see who trampled this poor worker to death. Personally I hope they find all responsible and prosecute them to the fullest. It doesn I like their store just fine, it is what society is doing to people that nobody even bothered to stop and help this person. I grew up in the 60s/70s in a small town in New England. Maybe I'm old fashioned but my parents/grandparents taught me better than this. I just can And for what? Getting a Christimas item? This is one of many reasons why I do my Christmas shopping (what very little I do) online and gift cards. I think the traditions of the big shopping day the day after Thanksgiving should go away. I really donlove thy neighbor, not trample, bite, and spit at them so you can grab that item. (BTW - you can shop online at Walmart too). I think to myself that I thought the spirit of Christmas was supposed to celebrate Christ. Oh yeah, I'm sure he is so proud of people like those who harm others and cause death so they can get what they want. I hope those guilty are sitting at home worrying about whether or not their face is going to show up on the video camera. http://apnews.myway.com/article/20081129/D94OJ4NG0.html

LOL It went well. Thank you to everyone for helping! [2008-11-28]
I felt bad because none of the friends or extended family that she invited showed up. They all called to cancel. We did not have leftover Turkey but plenty of desert and rolls. She bought 45 dinner rolls?! I think some of you are right that this is the beginning of sundowning for them. I will have to explain this to my husband because he just thinks they are losing their minds. I heard from another family member that MIL has a stash of a case candy bars in her closet and yesterday she went in the bedroom for cookie sheets to put the biscuits on. A little odd, especially being that they have extra storage area in the basement. I think FIL took it as it was just that much less food that cost him money because he was so happy that I brought as much food as I did and kept saying how much he loved the veggie tray, etc. I think MIL was a little miffed when I got there because she didnstay the heck out of my kitchen and keep your opinion to your self and afterwards he gets the look of You have always been my favorite child, thank you LOL But I understand things are different with moms and their own kids versus the spouse, especially with females. So overall it turned out well and everyone had plenty to eat. We didn't have to run out for burgers or home for dinner.

I went through this myself about 20 years ago. [2008-11-28]
My husband is the eldest of 4 siblings. They tend to give expensive gifts, and none of them have children. I came from a very poor family, so our Christmas holidays never included lots of gifts. When we were first married I stressed over the gift selection and the money we spent. My husband, who is an accountant, stressed over every penny. When our first child came alone, I quit my full-time, downtown career-oriented job and stayed home. Our family income was cut in half, and so we had to tell everyone, our siblings, parents, friends, etc., that we couldn't afford to give any gifts. Family members wanted to give us gifts anyway, and we begged them not to, as it really made us feel uncomfortable to receive but not give. We didn't need anything, really. We just couldn't afford to spend anything on gifts. It took us about 3 years to get everyone to play by our rules. Twenty years later, and we're doing better financially, but we still don't exchange gifts with anyone but our children. Even my husband and I don't exchange gifts. We try, instead, to make donations to charities or causes that we care about. Over the years, some of our family members have experienced financial difficulties, and they opted out of the gift giving either temporarily or permanently. It always feels a little strange at first, but eventually it's ok. The season isn't about the gifts, and if the gift-giving becomes a burden, then that's certainly no fun. You have the financial responsibility for your family. You make those decisions, not family members who make you feel guilty. They'll get over it. Don't let it get you down.

This is what thanksgiving is all about...a must read [2008-11-28]
At turkey time last year, Monique White was unemployed, living in a cramped motel room and pining for the Thanksgivings of her childhood, when dozens of people would gather for a holiday feast. Today a receptionist at a dentist's office, she has a townhouse in Littleton, Colo. And, thanks to an Internet posting, a list of Thanksgiving dinner guests � strangers all � who will help her eat nine turkeys, four hams, 16 boxes of stuffing and a dozen or so pies. How did this happen? White, 36, was feeling a bit lonesome a week ago; her two sons were planning to spend the holiday with their father. And though her longtime partner, Doug White, would be there for her on Thanksgiving, she longed to be surrounded by many more people. So she posted invitations on Craigslist, the Internet classifieds site. In part, one read: Maybe you are someone who is new in town and doesn She figured four folks, maybe five would answer. But then the replies poured in: People laid off from work. People with no family. People ashamed to bring their children to a Thanksgiving dinner at a soup kitchen. I thought: There White says. In all, 32 people are expected for dinner. When White's boss heard what she was doing, he offered to pay for the food. Then a local hotel offered to provide tables and chairs. Then a professional magician said he would like to perform for the kids. Certainly a far cry from Thanksgiving 2007, White says. Last year it was just us two. It was horrible. Doug White has been busy baking turkeys, putting one in the oven as soon as another comes out. People need to stop being so worried about me, me, me, my bills, my life, he says. You stop worrying, and look what happens?

6 pumpkin pies, 2 vinegar pies and a chocolate chiffon pie sm [2008-11-27]
So now that I have caught your attention...just what is a vinegar pie, you ask. In the south, they are referred to as transparent pie. You will sometimes hear it called sweet and sour pie. It is good real cider vinegar, the kind with the mother at the bottom, brown sugar, white sugar, butter and eggs, a bit of flour. It is like water when you put in the shell. You bake it for an hour and it comes out about like the goo in a pecan pie with no nuts. It is not sour a bit, nor is it sickly sweet. It is sweet with a bit of an apple bite. The kids love it and when younger son is home for the holidays, he will devour one of them at a sitting. He literally comes in and sees the vinegar pie, takes one and says: So...what is everyone else having? The other son won't eat pumpkin or vinegar, so he has the chocolate chiffon. The rest of us are pumpkin eaters.

my mom would stash paper towels and - sm [2008-11-27]
toilet paper. When she died I counted 86 rolls of TP and about 30 paper towels, also about 15 boxes each of zip lock bags, quart, gallon, freezer bags. My dad and I divvied it all up between him, me and my two brothers. If it was on sale at the store my mom bought it. Had about 18 pounds of butter in the refrigerator too, as well as cheese, and about 80 packs of Hershey chocolates (they were hidden in a closet). Was a bit OC on the TP and PT though, and every night she would check all the doors to make sure they were locked at least 4 x before she would go to bed. Always made enough food that is for sure. My MIL goes either one way or the other, we never know until we get there though. No snacks so it if is a sparse dinner then we end up going home hungry and stopping on the way to get something, or the kids fill up on the dessert I bring. Stayed home this year though, and my BIL is cooking for them this year, and I cooked for us.

Holidays are hard [2008-11-26]
My parents were divorced so my sister and I spent many years shuffling between two houses. When we each got married and had our own families the situation got even more complex. My parents are now deceased and my sister and I are estranged (even though we live in the same town), so in some ways life has gotten simpler. I still get very emotional and depressed around the holidays because of my dysfunctional childhood and negative expectations, but I don't have as much guilt and stress anymore. My husband's parents and family are back in our hometown 600 miles away, and for the last few years he's gone back there for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with our youngest child. I don't begrudge him that because his folks are elderly and I don't want him to have any regrets later. I can't go with him because we have a lot of animals to take care of, and frankly, I'm really comfortable just hanging out at home with them anyway. We have adult kids too, and two grandchildren, and I encourage all of them to live their lives without the burden of guilt and feelings of obligation. If they can come by and have dinner or visit that's great, and if not BIG DEAL. Honestly, it's just a day. Things got easier for us when we realized we didn't necessarily have to celebrate a holiday on the exact day it was scheduled. I really understand your not wanting to let your mom down, and I would feel the same way. Your husband is a big boy and has made a choice, so that's on him, not you. He's probably being a bit immature and stubborn on this one. I hope you'll extend the invitation to your husband one more time, then go to your mom's and enjoy yourself whether he comes along or not.

Prices just keep getting worse s/m [2008-11-26]
Instead of throwing the meat away here, they have a list of churches that will take it for the soup kitchens, etc. At least they know it is going to a good cause. We have been skimping more and more on meals. We are having more grilled cheese with soup, french toast or pancakes with sausage or bacon (when I find it on sale) and we were just given a deer that we had processed for ground meat and such. I have cutway back on snacks, a bag of chips and a bag of apples or oranges for the week. With 4 kids in the house, that goes fast!

lol...that is funny... [2008-11-26]
But I see your point...for Thanksgiving we just go to my in-laws and then Christmas we have to shuffle our kids from house to house between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...it does get annoying...

If you tell your kids that Santa Claus is real [2008-11-26]
I don nephew are 5 mos. old) it if they find out you lied there will be consequences and other remarks like that. We were talking the other day and without even thinking we were talking about how Uncle Joey usually dresses as Santa but this year we might want to ask his son to take over and our friends child heard our discussion. Well, she got so mad because we were insensitive to her daughter and we don Come to find out that her kids all think Santa is real. The oldest is 17, well, I So I wondered if she is lying to her children by telling them santa claus is real?

Boy men are such children - sm [2008-11-26]
my DH is a j*e*r*k like that too sometimes. He refuses to stay at my dad's house because he re-married so quickly after my mom died. (he wants to stay in hotel--which is very expensive where they live--....though we have not done it yet because as yet he has refused to go, so I go w/o him and the kids and I have lots of fun--he did go once 2 years ago though he made us stay at a friends apartment, very silly). There is more to it than that but that is a big part of it, and he thinks my stepmom's family thinks he is a loser. He is hung up on what people think about him and imagines slights, looks, etc. all the time, very hard to live with. But he know I will leave him in the dust and do what I want as he is acting like a 2-year-old. I would just go and not worry about him acting like a baby. If you stay home with him you will be mad, resent him for making you miss out spending time with your mom (which you will regret if something happened to her any time soon), and probably have a boring day at home while he watched football all day and you cook or twiddle your thumbs. He will probably never be the bigger person and bite his tongue and go, though he should. Men really are babies though at times.

Don't give up! [2008-11-26]
Iso easy, even a child can do it! I learned to sew before I even went to school! He even had some antique machines with foot pedals that we kids used to play with. I have all sorts of machines, from antique hand-crank Singers to cheap Wal-Mart plastic machines, and high-end Pfaff and Viking sewing machines and sergers. Check out local sewing and fabric stores for classes. You can also try visiting Meetup.com, which is a really cool place to find all sorts of people who get together to pursue their interests. I don't know where you live, but I checked in my area, and there are several groups for beginning sewing listed. Maybe there are in yours, too. With that said, I really have to tell you that Singer machines are not the best. Since the company was sold many, many years ago the quality has gone downhill. They are not built to last and have many parts that break very easily. In my experience, a simple mistake in threading some Singers will place a lot of tension on a weak part in the thread line. Something will snap or break, and once it's broken, you can't get the machine to feed thread properly as you sew. Unfortunately, a really good machine can cost hundreds of dollars, and it's hard for a beginning sewer to make that sort of investment not knowing if it's something they'll be doing for a long while. I always recommend going to a store that deals in higher end machines. (Pfaff happens to be my favorite.) Then ask to try machines or take classes with their display machines. You learn basic sewing techniques and you learn what makes one machine better than another. I suggest that if your machine is brand new, you return it for a refund. Take some sewing classes first, and try different machines. Then you can make a better, more informed purchase, which in turn, should result in successful and fun sewing! I'm sorry. You probably didn't want to hear that, but I can't say that I'm a fan of Singer machines. Even if you get it to work, it's likely to fail not long down the road, which will only frustrate you. I'm willing to bet it's the machine and not you.

it's not lying [2008-11-26]
It's just not. I was about to get all preachy and talk about how we need mythology in our lives--stories that tell teach us morals, that remind us of our traditions--but I'll stay off the soapbox for now and just say that for as long as my kids are willing to believe, I will give them stories to believe in. The five-minute cry when they discover Santa isn't real, is more than made up for by the years of joy beforehand, don't you think? As for talking in front of the kids, I don they're good at that.