This is a letter I sent to the parents of a

Parents gettting divorced...sm [2008-06-21]
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around. Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house. He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually. She can At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres. Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look. He doesn Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving. He says he can She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead. She doesn It is like she can He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go. She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place. And he has had the money. She said he just won She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do. But he is headset not to leave.

Thanks for the "good parents" part - sm [2008-06-05]
Itbaby wanting to grow up as soon as possible. I think a few years of perspective will make a big difference (if they don't kill each other first!)lol! Thanks for the reassurance!

You all sound like excellent parents [2008-06-05]
I don't have any kids myself and I was reading all your posts and you all sound like very good parents (the kind I would want to have if I was growing up). Sounds like times have changed since I was a teenager (lets see....over 30 years ago - ugh!!!!), but I do agree that parents have to know what's going on in their kids lives. I see a lot of horrible things in the news of troubled kids (school shootings, bullies and stuff, kids into drugs, or kids being mean and all the other stuff that goes on) and always wonder if their parents knew what they were up too.

For anyone who has received a stimulus check by mail, have you all gotten a letter about a week [2008-06-03]
before the check stating when it would be arriving.

Stimulus Letter [2008-06-03]
Even though I had my direct deposited, I actually got a letter two days after it was already deposited that it would be coming.

I would call the girl's parents and just tell them what happened. Be nice and non-confrontationa [2008-05-31]
But tell them what happened. Just say you thought they ought to know and if they happen to see this specific game lying around, let you know. That Parents tend to get upset when they think their kids are being accused. And they don Delicacy and diplomacy is the key.

I would call the parents and explain it nicely to them what happened. [2008-05-30]
.

parents [2008-05-18]
how could I forget this one? Can't never accomplished anything. never make fun of what someone does for a living as long as it is an honest job.

If Cindy's parents let her jump off a bridge would you do it too. [2008-05-14]
xx

parents [2008-05-14]
careful, your face will freeze that way. go to your room and wait. killer was I never thought I could be so disappointed in you. I thought we raised you better than that.

I think the letter is fine (sm) [2008-05-08]
until it reaches the Bullying is... paragraph. I would have left that section out. At that point, it appears you are attempting to psychoanalyze these children, which is strange (and arrogant).

This is a letter I sent to the parents of a [2008-05-07]
I am writing to inform you that, after much discussion with other parents of children who are in direct contact with your son, Matthew, and daughter, Samantha, i.e. on the bus and in school, it has been the consensus that your children seem to be modeling quite a bit of inappropriate behavior, including bullying and inappropriate language, as well as not being able to keep their hands off of other children. As parents of children in this community, we are concerned about your children’s apparent complete lack of respect for not only the rules of the school and the bus, but also lack of empathy for the feelings of their classmates and fellow bus riders. Bullying is not only painful to the victim, but is also a reflection of the bully’s own ineptness at dealing with their own feelings of insecurity and perhaps a direct reflection of a dysfunctional home life. It also interferes with all of the children’s education and the feeling of safety and community in the school environment. As the parents of these children, we would avail you to please work with your children to teach them appropriate behavior and to keep their hands to themselves in order to not be disruptive and stressors to the other well-adjusted children in the classroom setting. Thank you in advance for your efforts to teach your children appropriate behavior and social skills.

anything positive come out of this letter? [2008-05-07]
x

no letter p was allowed on this street [2008-04-23]
When my dd was first learning her alphabet we were driving down the street one day and she asks me why no letter p was allowed on this street. It took me a minute to realize she was talking about a no parking sign.

That is for the individual and his/her parents to... [2008-04-17]
decide. Let's wait for the facts in this particular case.

"The parents", the "older man". The welfare of child [2008-04-17]
tfd

ha ha---we ALL owe our parents an apology:-) [2008-04-10]
Unfortunately we never realize that until our OWN kids put us through stuff.

My parents live in N. Ft. Myers, lots of retirees, sm [2008-04-07]
Lots of people and traffic, but I love going to visit. Good beach and pier. If you're not staying at the beach and want to go, there is a trolly where you can park your car (We usually do this at Summerlin mall) and ride the trolly to the beach, to avoid finding a place to park. Also, Sanibel and Captiva islands are close by, which are neat. There are a few major league teams that have spring training in the area, which is fun. Make sure you get a street map to make it easier to get around there. If you are going to live, Cape Coral is nearby and that is a nice place to live. There is just about any type of living arrangement - apartments, condos, manufactured homes, regular homes. It is a great place. Golf course communities.

I have to add though, that it sounds like the kids were abandoned by both parents (nm) [2008-04-04]
x

Parents DO NOT owe kids college education. [2008-04-04]
When DD started college we paid,,,, at first. But she did NOTHING to help herself. From her part time job, all her money went to nails, clothes, meals out with friends, etc. She did nothing about getting scholarships. After 1st year, I said I wouldnt pay anything else. DH continued to help her. She did apply for scholarship thru DH work and got $2000. Of that money, she ended up dropping a class paid for with that money, cause it was too early (8:00am). Bottom line, she did nothing towards finishing school, in fact, quit going, did not increase work hours. I stopped giving her ANY money at that point. She ended up marrying Marine boyfriend and is now working at Dollar Store. These were HER choices, instead of completing her teaching degree, of which she only had 2 years to go. I told her why should I spend my hard earned money on her when she was doing absolutely nothing to help herself. She knew if she was making an effort to her future I would help her, but not if she wasnt doing anything for herself.

Yep! I think both parents copped out. (nm) [2008-04-04]
x

She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm) [2008-04-04]
She was given that chance and blew it - some would blow it and some would not. But I still think that with the way our country works today if you do not at least try to help your kids get through college you have not finished your job as a parent.

Divorced parents college agreement? [2008-04-03]
Those of you who are divorced and have children......how did you agree (or how would you agree) to pay for your child's college education? can you please share with me how your agreement is worded in your contract....if you do not want to respond to this post please email me....I am needing help ASAP!!! Thanks in advance....

I think in this day and age parents should plan a way for their kids to attend college (sm) [2008-04-03]
$1000 a month is nothing compared to what it actually takes to raise two kids.

They are both the kids parents - they should both help (nm) [2008-04-03]
x

This one has struck a chord with me. [2008-07-03]
I have been an assistant scoutmaster for 8 years now. Yes, I am a mom, and there are women scout leaders out there! My job with our troop was Webelos-to-Scout Transition Coordinator. My job was to help our youngest boys and their families become part of our troop and to make sure that the boys have fun and get all that they can from the scout experience. Summer camp was always the make or break time for the youngest boys. You didn't say if your son is a new scout, but I assume this is his first time at summer camp. Homesickness and living in the outdoors are always the biggest hurdles during the first summer camp. You are not over-reacting because your son is having a bad time. That's a simple fact, and he deserves to have those feelings validated and addressed. Since I'm female, I tend to approach the first-time scout's misery in a different way, and over the years, a lot of men have disagreed with my methods. But, they work. Men seem to like the stick-it-out approach, and I've seen some of the worst leaders actually tease and belittle homesick boys or boys who don't take easily to the outdoor experience. That really finishes off the boy for scouting. He quits. Do you think that is what is happening with your son? At summer camp with our first year scouts, I always listen to them, validate their fears, and then try to help them overcome their fears with knowledge. If spiders or animals scare them, we go to the nature lodge and find out all about them. We do a good cleaning of their tents or lean-toWell, it I and my fellow adult leaders have spent a lot of nights sitting around picnic tables talking to scouts, sometimes making a game of listening for owls or watching spiders crawl across the table in the lantern light. And if boys do call home, I would run like crazy to the camp phone to call the parents first to let them know what was going on and to tell them to expect a call from their son. In that way, parents were prepared, and we could coordinate our efforts to help their son. Basically, it just takes some compassion. The hard core approach doesn't work. Why do I go through all the trouble? Because I know the value of the scouting program. When it's done well, it goes a long way to help parents raise up honorable men. In our troop, our scouts learn to be compassionate, because we've modeled that sort of behavior for them. They learn about living in the outdoors, and learn to take care of themselves and others. That gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel capable. They learn problem-solving skills and teamwork. These are all important life skills, and when scouting is done well, boys who come through are lightyears ahead of most of their non-scout peers by the time they are 18. But that only happens when it's done right. There are great troops and adult volunteers in the BSA, but there are unfortunately some real losers, as well. It's true that scouting is not for everyone, but there is no reason for so many boys to be pushed away because of issues that just need a little careful thought and attention. This is one of my most passionate issues with scouting. Even the BSA knows that the first year scout is the most likely to quit, and they spend a lot of money and time training volunteers on this subject. It seems that some adults don't learn as quickly as others, though. And there is a core of leaders who like to remember what it was like when they were boy scouts, and won't move ahead or adapt their techniques for the boy of today's times. A new 11-year-old scout should not be expected to act like a man and tough it out. He's still a boy, and living in the woods is usually a totally new experience for him. MOST boys are scared at first, but the men and other boys hate to admit it. A new scout just needs some patience, understanding and time to mature. He needs to feel safe even when he's struggling, and he needs to know that he is supported. I don't know all the details of your son's experience, but if you think that what I've said might apply to him, you might consider looking for another troop, one that will provide him with a good, supportive program. Not all scout troops are the same. Each has a different personality, so perhaps another troop would suit your son better. If that's not possible, or if at this point he is completely turned off by scouting, there are certainly other activities out there that can teach him the things that are learned through scouting. Encourage him to find out what his talents are and help him to explore all of the possibilities that life has to offer. I'm so sorry to hear that your son is not enjoying scouts. It really breaks my heart when I hear such stories, because I know that the adult volunteers could handle the situation better. My own sons had a hard time the first time they went to camp, which is why I got involved. I knew there was a better way to deal with such a common problem. My oldest, who is now 20, still works with scouts, and my youngest will receive his Eagle Scout rank in just a couple of weeks. I have seen many, many boys' lives changed for the better by the scouting program, including my own sons. I hope that your son can also have a great experience in scouting. I'm always happy to talk about scouting, and if you'd like to send me a private message, I'd be glad to share more of my thoughts on the subject.

One more thing - about calling (sm) [2008-07-03]
Their leader will not allow them to use the phone to call - period. they are not allowed to call their parents, even though there are payphones right there at the trading post.

I don't mind at all that you sent my email along. [2008-07-03]
There is plenty of training material available to scout leaders on the transition period and how to help the boys stay in scouting. There are videos, training sessions run by people like me, written material, etc. It's out there. It's just hard to get it through some of the leaders' brains that the boys need to be treated like boys in transition, and not like army recruits. I really applaud you for being willing to go out on the trips with the troop. That is also a hard thing to do with so many men around. I looked very carefully when my boys were crossing over to scout troops. We are fortunate in our area to have many troops to choose from. We found a great troop headed by mostly even-thinking adults who had no problem with a woman joining them. It's not perfect, and every now and then, some sexist fool says or does something stupid, but nothing is ever insurmountable in that regard. Know that having women leaders is a unit option, which means that the chartering organization can decide that no girls are allowed, so to speak. This is sometimes done for religious reasons. Other times it's just sort of a tacit tradition. I didn't have to overcome that issue, and in fact, when it was discovered that I had been camping all my life and was an avid solo backpacker, I got the job of teaching the boys about backpacking, too. Our troop welcomed all volunteers who were willing to be trained and who could commit to helping the boys. I do hope it works out for your son. If you do join as a leader, be sure that you take advantage of all the training opportunities available to you. Your troop should have a training coordinator or advancement chair who knows when training is offered. (By the way, are the adult leaders of this troop fully trained? That's VERY important.) As a GSUSA leader, you should understand the value of training. The Girl Scouts really do a great job of requiring leaders to be trained. BSA councils and districts, however, sometimes vary on how strict they are on training requirements. Don't be afraid to help out. You're doing this for your son, and that really is a great motivator. And what's really cool is that most of us start out wanting to help our own sons, but in the process we help so many other boys and parents along the way. Good luck!

Is this inconsiderate or what? [2008-07-03]
My son-in-law stopped by our house on the way to work this morning. My hubby was pulling out of the driveway and I saw him give a bag to my husband and he left. My hubby brought the bag to me and said I was told to give this to you until tonight. He said my SIL was going to have a surprise for our daughter this evening after work at a local restaurant but didn I opened the bag and there was ice cream and pickles inside (?). Well, the first thing we thought of was pregnant and needless to say, our first grandchild, the look on our face was shock, disappointment, and happiness at the same time. We just stood there staring at each other, wondering what the **** was going on. My hubby went on to work and called a few minutes later, saying my SIL had text messaged him and said for me nor my husband to call OUR daughter or him today. I have sat in tears most of the day. That jerk (and he is a jerk) just told us our daughter is expecting our grandchild but not to talk to her today. What is the surprise about? He already knows, SHE already knows, we already know. So I guess you have to know my SIL to know he is a controlling person.....my daughter just hasn My husband has been so upset all day about this. Shouldn We are told by him to keep this inside all day. They are going to see his parents tomorrow at their lakehouse and I suppose tell them together, even though I have a feeling he This is a day my husband and I should be so gloriously happy and we feel sad too. We don I have just seen my daughter and she said nothing and I can This is my baby having a baby and we don Our son was here and saw what we saw and he was so happy to be an uncle, grinning from ear to ear, but can I have to say I am so angry with him right now. You have to know how controlling he has been. My daughter wouldn Are you kidding? What sick pleasure does he get from spoiling all this for us by it not coming from her, the pregnant one, standing there. Our child. We still don After all, they already know, we already know, so why haven I have to say my husband is so upset by this right now, he has called from work several times today and could not even focus on an important meeting this morning. To be honest, I am not at all sure how I will react once we are together this evening. Is this just a dumb way of doing this or has anyone else had this happen like this? We are just dumbfounded about it all and think this is avery cruel way of doing this.

Okay, don't want to be a stick in the sand [2008-07-02]
We lived near the beach for many years and saw this one time too many. So, instead of being afraid of the ocean be more afraid of the sand. Please don't let your sons dig holes in the sand, at least not deep ones. We have seen children and teenagers have serious accidents or worse with this. The sand collapses into the holes and consequences can be fatal, so just heads up on that. It was also just on the news so I hope a lot of parents watched it. What seems like fun can turn quickly into a serious situation. It was just a known fact in our home..... no deep holes at the beach. Sorry to be a downer....just want to make sure the boys AND parents enjoy themselves. Do have a good time though!!!

I think it is a combination of things. [2008-07-01]
For one, parents don Secondly, some people just aren Thirdly, people are just lazy. I have told my husband that he needs to teach my stepson something useful that he can use later in life like wiring something, building something, etc. My husband is smart enough that he pretty much does everything around here. In fact, he is currently putting up a fence for our horses. To pay to have that done would have cost us 3K more than him doing it himself. Needless to say, we opted to do it ourselves. I truly hope that he doesn At 14, kids don You start them young and they think it is fun.

Need to vent sm [2008-07-01]
My 8-year-old daughter was bit by a dog a few months ago by a neighbor The bite has healed, but the emotional scars haven My daughter is now absolutely terrified of dogs, and cats now, too. She won This is obviously out of the picture now. Our medical bills totaled over $800 before insurance. We gave them the bill, wanting $800 because we pay for our insurance on a weekly basis, and they shouldn We thought that was more than fair because of the trauma my daughter suffered. Well, today, they tried to give us a check for $87! Yes, that I was so insulted by this, and hurt! All that my daughter went through, they tried to give her an $87 check?!!! They only want to pay our copay! Well, I typed up a letter and returned their check, informing them we will be contacting an attorney. So, instead of the $800 we wanted, I'm sure they'll have to pay a few extra thousand for pain and suffering, and also for the lost wages because we had to miss work because of this. I can Thanks for letting me vent!

I understand your frustration [2008-07-01]
Your daughter is entitled to pain and suffering, should you pursue it. Your medical bills, however, should be covered by your medical insurance IMO. That I don If you weren You didn You also didn I also have to wonder if part of your anger isn Just some things to think about. I know what it I hope your daughter is doing well and will be able to overcome her fear of dogs eventually.

Our dog bit a girl "that was pulling his hurt ear" [2008-07-01]
Well the girl So, you need to contact the police again and find out how you can go about filing a claim. My parentsprovoked the dog. The provoked part didn So, I guess what I am trying to say here is that my parents were your neighbors and they got sued and their insurance premium went up. We I would have to bet though that the foster parents of the bitten dog probably got legal assistance for free too, since they had about 10 foster kids and were getting a fat check each month and obviously not supervising these kids for that girl to have pulled my dog My dog jumped our fence and cut his ear, that girl pulled on the dog I highly doubt that child really need the surgery and probably never even got the surgery, but those foster parents I That may sound harsh and by all means I know that not all foster parents are irresponsible, but in my opinion, my parents got the raw end of the deal. Good luck whatever you decide.

How exactly is your daughter going [2008-07-01]
What does your child need money for? You say itback to normal. Dragging her through court will not help her overcome her fear of dogs. Instead, you should be concentrating your efforts on having the dog impounded. Soon you will be known as the neighbor quick to sue. You I I got the impression from your original post. You said very little about the emotional details of the situation. You primarily discussed the money aspect of it. If I I just didn You even mentioned you watch People These shows put ideas into people My kids play baseball. They get hit with baseballs all the time when they Do I have the right to sue the parents of that child who hit them? How would that help them?

Oh my Gosh!!...sm [2008-06-30]
I don't know what to say. I mean I knew people had it bad but my gosh you live in utter torment. The first thing that comes to mind is..Where are your parents? Are they willing to help in any way? Could you stay with them a while? Do you have anyone? I don't know how you have lived 14 years with this. I would think on how much I make and see if what I could afford to rent and live on public assistance if I had to because I would not live with that man. Things can't be much worse off than they are now. Try to get a MT job that has insurance and benefits. If not don't they have the CHIPS program where you live where if you make under a certain amount you can get free insurance for your kids? I don't know what to say but leave.

A lot depends on your daughter, not just you - sm [2008-06-30]
Is she sensible? There are not many 16-y/o that have not tried drinking or smoking, it is all part of trying new things,etc. and it will happen whether you like it or not. You have to learn to trust her to make smart decisions and to make her own mistakes but obviously to guide her and make sure she doesndate had MadDog, nasty stuff, and I got obliterated as I did not realize what that crud would do to me. Lucky for me my dad was out of the country at the time. My punishment was being forced to go to school with a horrible hangover (though I puked my guts out in my friendscares). I actually went and got on the pill while still a virgin so when it did happen I would be protected. --- is your daughter that sensible and with some common sense? I did a lot of stupid things along with the smart things I doing, just got lucky and came out of it okay. At 16 you want to experiment and have fun. All my friend and I were A/B students, 1 smoked and did all sorts of drugs. I would drink and smoke pot now and them (1 x a week or so), and again parents NEVER knew it. I remember one time my dad picked me up at school after play practice (was helping out with set design), I was stoned, had been slipped angel dust and had been hallucinating about an hour or two prior, was still pretty high. He wanted me to drive home for practice (I was 16), I turned him down because I was very tired.....he never knew, I crawled into bed the minute I got home. I was very, very good at hiding it from my parents, how they didn't smell it on me I never knew, unless they just ignored it. My best friend smoked and they new that so I guess that helped cover it up a bit. Despite all this I was very anti-drug (anything but pot) as I had seen too many people messed up on coke, crank, LSD, etc. I was furious with my BF's brother as he was the one who slipped me the angel dust, I got lucky as nothing bad happened to me. He is dead now, ended up addicted to coke, then alcohol, got hepatitis, car-jacked 3 cars for drug money, and ended up in prison with a 20 year sentence, got out after 8 years in 2006, then got addicted to painkillers, they found him dead in his apartment, killed by mixing alcohol and painkillers. This just happened about 8 months ago. He was only 42. Very sad as he was a smart guy but had many, many problems and never got his life together. Obviously this does not happen to everyone who does drugs, it all depends on the person and their upbringing. His sister (one of my BFs) is a successful therapist, drinks but quit smoking several years ago, never got into hard drugs like her brother. ---sorry for the rambling, but don't go overboard and lock her up, that will just make her go in the opposite direction. Obviously you need to set limits, etc, and try to know where she is and who she is with, and set punishments if you catch her doing it and let her know what those punishments will be, whether it is grounding for a month, or no cell phone, no TV, no driving, whatever, be firm and stick to it. I know that my brothers and I all did stuff, most of which we got away with, but it was shear luck and stupidity when I look back at it. Not all kids are so lucky. I hope you daughter is one of the lucky ones.

drinking for 2 years is not trying it out [2008-06-30]
Your daughter is headed down the wrong path. If she Apparently, both of these new habits fit and she The fact that she says she feels relieved not having to hide it anymore is a sure sign she has no intention of quitting. I strongly urge you to discipline her. Children need discipline. She may hate you for it now, but your job is to be her mother, not her friend. Both of these habits carry dire consequence over the long-term (which I Yes, I tried alcohol and cigarettes when I was 16 (no drugs) but only a couple of times. To this day, I still don When my mom/dad found out what I was doing, I was severely disciplined - grounded, spanked (yes I said spanked at 16), and was stripped of any privileges. This definitely deterred me from participating in these things after I was allowed to resume a normal life. This may sound harsh, but I I intend to do the same with my children. I think that's the problem with a lot of today's youth -- they're parents are too worried about being their friend, instead of doing their job as a parent.

I would lay down the law now s/m [2008-06-29]
I was a goodie-goodie, too, or so my mom thought. I was an honor student (actually graduated second in my class), ran with a pretty good crowd, never did drugs. I did, however, try alcohol (wanting to fit in with some of the wilder crew) and cigarettes. The cigarette thing didn My mom noticed the smell on me almost immediately and told me if she ever caught me smoking, she would make me eat a pack of cigarettes. At the time, I took her pretty seriously; though, looking back now, I doubt she would have actually made me eat it. As for the alcohol, tried that once, too, in high school. Fortunately, I didnbeer and since that I chose not to drink. I was heavily involved in SADD and I think that weighed in a lot for me. My biggest area of concern for my parents was the whole dating/sex thing. I had a steady boyfriend for my sophomore and junior year and ended up taking it to that level. When I finally told my mom about it, she freaked, as did my dad. I was grounded for 6 months and she kept her word. I went no where with my friends. Eventually, I was allowed to date again, my senior year, but not with that guy. Putting us on hold for 6 months seemed to do the trick. I realized he didn The guy I dated throughout my senior year was good enough to wait for me, and I ended up marrying him several years later (after college). 13 years and still going, so far so good! So, be strict with your daughter, but be fair and consistent. She needs to know there are limits and that if she chooses to continue with these actions, there will be adverse consequences. After all these years, I'm glad my mom did what she did or I probably would have ended up pregnant before I graduated high school and who knows what kind of life I would have had then.

"Sweet 16" [2008-06-28]
About 1 week before I turned 16 my parents put me in a psychiatric ward for troubled teens becuase they caught me drinking twice and I was so bad at hiding it those were the only 2 times I had actucally drank. LOL! Once I had been there for 3 weeks and my parents sat in on many family sessions with other parents and troubled teens they realized I really wasn't all that bad. That was 25 years ago and hey, I still turned out okay.

I did listen when I was a kid either. [2008-06-28]
My parents were just a bunch of dumb hard azes that all they wanted to do was prevent me from having any fun. Well, the older I got, the smarter they got. I am now going through it with my kids and I sometimes wonder how they ever kept sane. LOL. I have a smart-alecky mom that likes to say payback time.

Identity theft -- never thought it could [2008-06-26]
Yesterday, I got a call from QVC. I had ordered a GPS system for my hubby and QVC called to say they were unable to complete processing of my order because my credit card wouldn QVC said the address I gave them as the billing address did not match the billing address of my credit card. I asked the rep to hold on while I pulled my credit card account up on line. When I did, I saw that my address and phone number had been changed to somewhere in TX (I live in PA). I told QVC I would have to call them back. I immediately called the credit card company. They pulled up my account and said that yes my address had been changed just a few days ago. When I asked how, they couldn They did not know if it was done on-line or by telephone. This, I don If someone called in to change it, shouldn Furthermore, if it was changed on-line, wouldn At any rate, it was changed, and my cc company tried to contact me to verify it by calling the new phone number given. (Makes no sense). Having received no answer, they sent a letter to me, which I have yet to get. One day after changing my address, someone made a $10 on-line purchase with cc account, which went through. Immediately following that, a $4500 on-line purchase was attempted to be put through. This one the cc company did not allow (thank God for small miracles). After having all of this explained to me, I was then transferred to an Identity Theft Specialist, who would help me close this account and reopen another one as well as put into action security alerts for me. For the next 7 years, my credit report will be flagged as a fraud alert, meaning that if anyone tries to open a new account in my name, the lender will have go through extensive verification to confirm it I I also had to file a report with my local police, which I doubt will accomplish anything. Local police are not trained in the same manner as state police, and I don We will see. I did, however, write down the address and the phone number that my account was changed to. My husband called the number last night from his cell phone and no one answered. He left a message stating he was looking for my name and to please return his call to his number. They immediately called back, but when my husband answered, they said nothing. They called back again later that night and did the same thing. Here I told her that apparently I was a victim of identity theft. She said that I said what do you mean and she proceeds to tell me that there have been a lot of account takeovers with this particular company and that it was determined to be an inside job. This left me feeling less than secure about setting up a new account with that company. It also makes me wonder if that My husband says as soon as the new account is set up, we Fortunately, this cc company has 0% identity theft liability, so we will not be responsible for the charges that did go through. However, the bigger concern here is that this person obviously has enough personal information about me to set up new accounts without my knowledge; hence, the reason for the fraud alerts on my credit report. I am so furious, if I ever get my hands on this person, I My husband and I have worked hard all our lives to have good credit and some skuzbucket thinks he can just come along and take it. I don I intend to pursue this fully. If it is an inside job, I will make sure that this credit card company does something about its current employee background checks. So, take a minute today and call your credit companies or go on-line and check to make sure that noone has changed your address and phone number.

here's what I do -- [2008-06-26]
Every summer, I make a chore chart for each of my 3 boys, ages 5, 7 and 10. Brushing teeth is apparently a big chore that requires a reminder. So on my chore chart it goes, once in the morning and once at night (I figure 2 times a day is pretty good). Other chores I include are making their beds, picking up toys, dirty clothes in the hamper. They are also each required to help wash their clothes once a week and put away their clean clothes. In addition, they Each time they complete a chore, they get a sticker for that day. At the end of the week, we add up all their stickers. If they have a certain number collectively-- they get to pick a group activity (local amusement park, chuckie cheese or bike ride with the parents, etc.). If they don I Kids need structure, even in the summer, and this gives them something to look forward to at the end of the week. I Rewards don Just pick something you know your child would like. Having the chart helps to remind them and kids love the feeling of getting it right Good luck and remember: when all else fails, bribe

Been there...... [2008-06-25]
My daughter had a choice between a state college and private and no, it does not necessarily look better on her resume going to a private college, it's what she will bring away from that and how she feels while there. My daughter went through orientation at both colleges and immediately knew what she wanted. She could get her scholarship at either. She said she just felt uncomfortable at the private college, too many snooty kids who were there more to please parents than anything else. The state college she chose had a very laid back atmosphere, where she felt comfortable. And you're right, comfort zone is everything. If a student is nervous nellis the entire time and feels out of place, what good is that going to do her? My daughter came out of the college with a job handed to her because of her grades and high recommendations from instructors. My husband went to her rival state college, one of the best business schools around, and has worked for an exceptional private firm for over 20 years, making lots more than many going to private colleges, so private doesn't necessarily mean better. It's what she puts into it. Good luck to her!!

Just some pros and cons of private college [2008-06-24]
Pros Academic excellence. At the private university learning is the emphasis more than the curriculum itself. The curriculum is rigorous and the course-work is unending, but learning is the central focus at such schools. If you plan on working during school, it is very difficult to balance a full-time schedule at a private university with a work schedule. The time commitment required to succeed in a given class is high, and this will ultimately interfere with your ability to work. Close-knit community. The student community is an integral part of most private colleges. This can be difficult for more independent students who prefer a less hands on approach. The students communicate closely with professors both in and out of class and the students themselves attempt to involve everyone in campus activities. Involvement in the student community is one of the keys to enjoying your college experience at a private college. Involved students. The classroom dynamic is much different at a private university than at a public school. Most students are entirely committed to their academic success. They participate actively in classroom discussions, complete coursework, and are fully engaged in the classroom culture. Top-notch professors. Like the professors at state universities, the instructors at private universities have track records that attest to their personal academic achievements. While most are reputable, professors at private colleges tend to be more loyal to the college they work for and more interested in the achievements of their students. Merit scholarships. The listed tuition is the highest at private colleges; however, what students actually pay for tuition is usually lower. When a student is interested in a private university and the school is interested in the student, both parties begin negotiating tuition by way of grants, merit scholarships, and other financial incentives. Thus, students with a good G.P.A. and knock out test scores should consider applying to any private institutions that they are interested in. Class size. Even at larger private colleges the class size is contained. There are still lecture halls, but typically, fewer teaching assistants and more professors. At small private colleges classes can be as small as 10 or 12 students. Cons Homogeneous population. If you are looking for a more diverse student body that recruits kids from all walks of life, you aren’t likely to find it at a private college. If you are interested in a particular university, check it out first. It’s definitely a good idea to get a feel for what type of students they attract and their current student body is a good indicator. Demanding schedule. The heavy workload makes it difficult to balance extracurricular activities, a job, and a social life at a private college. It’s a good idea to identify your priorities before setting out to attend a school that cost $30 thousand a year. Your parents will appreciate your consideration and you will avoid unnecessary conflicts. Cost of tuition. Tuition is high, even for a good education. If money is no object—go private. If finances are a primary concern, consider all of your alternatives before committing yourself to a decade of debt. Transferring credits. Private universities each have different crediting methods. If the university that you choose doesn’t work for you it may be difficult to transfer and retain all the credits you have earned.

So, why would a man [2008-06-24]
even need to borrow money from a woman? I can understand certain circumstances, but a little here, a little there, not paying it back before borrowing more... But that is what parents/grandparents/banksare for. I love you, I really do... Who is he trying to convince? Single men are perfectly capable of paying their own way and most men I know of are embarrassed if they have to borrow from a buddy and from a woman..O!M!G! Humiliated! My DH had a fire that destroyed his home 6 months before I married him. Believe me, insurance doesn He did not come out ahead and he lost all the tools of his trade, uniforms, etc. So, to add insult to injury, he not only had to find a new place to live, he had to replace everything just to maintain employment. His pride still kept him from asking for money. If there is something a man wants or needs, he will sacrifice or work to find a way. As for the love notes, sounds like he is practiced on how to get onto a woman How much practice do you think it takes to get that way? 1 woman before you? 20 woman? 100 women until he gets it just right? If you have become lovers, then it sounds as though whatever he had to go do get you emotionally strapped in for the ride, he has no problem doing. sex is the easiest way to get a woman sucked in. He may not even realize he is doing this.The psychology on this one is basic but deep.

Parents gettting divorced...sm [2008-06-21]
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around. Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house. He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually. She can At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres. Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look. He doesn Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving. He says he can She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead. She doesn It is like she can He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go. She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place. And he has had the money. She said he just won She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do. But he is headset not to leave.

Neither. Not seen dad in the 21st Century, but did see mom to meet my stepfather. sm [2008-06-18]
They were very young when I was born, only 16 and 19. I have a younger brother who is gay and they have both pushed him away too, though mom a bit less. They were very controlling, highly critical and verbally abusive. The only thing I regret about the lack of relationship is that they managed to drive a wedge between my brother and I. I would thrilled to see him and build a new, grown up relationship, but they have made that impossible. And for the record...I didn't see either of my parents for about 10 yrs and then decided to try again in my late 30s and early 40s. It proved fruitless. They were more angry, more belittling and just as abusive as ever. I tried, but then again I have changed and I no longer need that sort of negativity in my life.

If you are set on closing, do not close the old ones, close a newer account first. [2008-06-18]
Your credit is based on a mix of things like history, types of accounts, mix of credit (revolving vs installment), usage/utilization of credit available, and payment history. Where closing could hurt your score is the part of the score that averages history of accounts/length of credit. If you decide to close, close out a newer account first. The best way to protect from ID theft as far as credit is to freeze your credit reports. It's around $10 per agency to freeze them. Each credit reporting agency tries to sell your their own monitoring plan when you get to the how to freeze information, so make sure you are freezing it. You can't freeze it over the net they each require a letter by registered mail. It takes about 1 month to freeze it. Right now you can place a fraud alert on your reports for free. The credit *should* not extend credit or do a credit line increase without calling the phone # on your credit report first. You only need to do it at one credit reporting agency and the other ones will be notfied. The number for equifax fraud alert 1-888-766-0008. It's automated. If you are concerned about ID theft try one of the monitoring plans. I've tried a few of them and Equifax has the best one. Their Score Watch is great, you set the limits to be notified and any change they send an email literaly the next day. I used it after I discovered ID theft. It might be a waste of money for you. I would place the fraud alerts, then the freeze, and check your reports 2x per year. I've had ID theft as far as my name/social but what concerns me more than credit ID theft is bank account theft. I don't know how we can fight that. It seems like consumers get the raw end of the deal as far rights when deposit accounts are stolen.

Medical marijuana use [2008-06-17]
I just watched an unsettling videoabout a young high school student diagnosed with cancer. Had to have his leg amputated and he had excrutiating pain that kept him awake through the night for about 3 months. Doctors kept giving him narcotic drugs and he was doped up/sleeping all the time. He started receiving medical marijuana (in a controlled clinic) and it helped. He said he would be able to function during the day and get his stuff done. He regained his appetite and was able to build his muscle tissue back up(mind you this is not some dope addict- this is a clean cut high school student who used to play on the football team,definitely not someone who is going in just to get their fix). Anyway...this medical clinic was set up in California and evidently the person in charge of the police departmentof the town didnhe believed it does not work.So he called the DEA, they went in and raided the place and threw the doc in charge of the clinic on thefloor handcuffed him and hauled him off to jail. Evidently the clinic was approved, theyshow pics ofthe doctor in charge of the clinic shaking hands with the mayor and being welcomed to the city.Well after they raided his office they then went to his home and raided his home. Now this doctor is facing possibly 100 years in jail (all because some uptight police person in charge does not believe medical marijuana works and he is against it. The parentseven said what part of this don Medical marijuana helps. It rejuvinates the brain cells, brings back hunger so cancer patients and others with serious illness willbe able to eat and get better and not be suffering with pain. No instead they want to dispense drugs by the pharmaceutical companies that are killing people and keeping them comatose. It just makes me sick that this form of treatment is not being allowed for more people who need it (not just want it to get high - but actually need it). This is why we need to get rid of big government. Give the power back to the people where it belongs.