This is a personal subject between him and his wife.

Yes. My son's second wife never [2008-11-25]
cooked. It was always McD's, Taco Bell, Pizza, etc. She never cleaned either. All she knew how to do was spend the bill money. (She didn't work, BTW). Now my grandson is on a diet at 15 yo, 195 pounds.Thank heavens, my son woke up and got rid of her. My mom worked every day and when she came home, made supper and it was always on the table by 5-5:30. If my father was on the 2nd shift, she'd make him a hot meal, put it in a square metal container and I would bicycle it to his work. When I was old enough to use the stove, I would make supper once or twice a night. In the summer, I would clean the house so she would have less to do. I worked 2 jobs most of my life, but always had time to take my boys to their baseball practice, wrestling practice, and when old enough, to their PT joband pick them up at 10-11:00 when they would get off, went to open house every year to see how they were doing, etc. I also made sure their homework was done (not that boys really bring homework home in those days LOL), had a meal on the table for them every night, never had snacks like chips or pretzels in the house. The only thing they had to drink was water or milk. No soda. BTW, my husband during this time was away from home all week, so it was all left to me. The parents today are too pressured, as are the kids. Kids are not allowed to be kids anymore. They are 7 going on 70. I think it's time they get back to being normal kids. They need breathing room. I don't know who ever decided that the kids had to be in every sport, every club, every volunteer activity the school has, but it's crazy. Not all kids fit that mold and they shouldn't have to. Plus their grades are expected to be A's and B's, nothing less. Perfection is the norm and no one is perfect. What's wrong with this picture? I'll jump down from my soapbox now.

Would you do the show Wife Swap? [2008-11-12]
I wouldn't but curious if anyone else here would.

I wouldn't do Wife Swap but would LOVE to do Amazing Race!! [2008-11-12]
x

Off subject - Many insurance companie won't insure - sm [2008-11-09]
your home for certain breeds, Pitbulls and Rotweilers are two of them, also Siberian Huskies and German shepards in others. I have had huskys for years and they are the friendliest dogs in the world though they look fierce since they closely resemble wolves and are probably the closest domesticated dog to a wolf. It is unfair to the breed to mark it as dangerous because of its looks. My dog does get aggressive around other dogs but he is the Alpha male here, but with people he is just fine. I have the only husky in the world that does not bark or howl, he talks on rare occasion. The breed doesn't usually don't bark much as it is, but they love to howl. We have another dog but a female lab and the two of them are fine together. While I like pitbulls and I have known a few to be very good dogs, I will always be on my guard around them as you never know what might trigger it to become aggressive. Dogs can feel threatened over the such little things and cause such heartbreak in the process.

My son and his wife - sm [2008-10-28]
have been married eleven years and over time developed a pattern for Thanksgiving, at least - they trade off years, one year coming to our house for dinner and her parents' house for dessert, and vice-versa. Of course, she's not a cook and has never been interested in hosting their own holiday dinner. They've always slept over Christmas Eve at our house as we have two more children still in school (had actually, one's not in school anymore but living at home) and shared Christmas morning with us, then go to her parents' house for Christmas dinner. I don't know if that's going to change now that the last of the kids are basically grown now. Unfortunately they aren't able to have kids, but if they did I would encourage them to stay home and we would come to them.

My son and his wife - sm [2008-10-28]
have been married eleven years and over time developed a pattern for Thanksgiving, at least - they trade off years, one year coming to our house for dinner and her parents' house for dessert, and vice-versa. Of course, she's not a cook and has never been interested in hosting their own holiday dinner. They've always slept over Christmas Eve at our house as we have two more children still in school (had actually, one's not in school anymore but living at home) and shared Christmas morning with us, then go to her parents' house for Christmas dinner. I don't know if that's going to change now that the last of the kids are basically grown now. Unfortunately they aren't able to have kids, but if they did I would encourage them to stay home and we would come to them.

No, nothing personal. They can ask for female or male. [2008-10-22]
x

See, the problem is, you're taking YOUR personal [2008-10-16]
adhere to it, or else they are morally 'WRONG'. This teacher isn't forcing anyone to attend her marriage. Whoever wants to stay home, can. It's just no big deal. How you think as an individual IS your right in the US, whether you believe it is God-given or not. But the deal is, that right may also be Buddha-given, or Allah-given, etc. I find it really strange that people feel there is a different 'lifestyle' associated with homosexuality. Except for a brief period of time spent in the bedroom (which is really NOBODY's business but theirs - not even God's), for most gays, every other aspect of life is exactly the same. They still set their alarms, get up in the morning, go to work, and contribute to society. Actually, a large number of them contribute far MORE to society than your average 'Joe Sixpack' or 'Joe the Plumber'. Among my own gay friends, there are: - An astrophysicist - A doctor - A lawyer - A teacher - A scientist - On individual who graduated from both Harvard AND Yale When it comes to contributing to the outward appearances of the city, the gay community has moved into some areas (like the Castro) which used to be seedy, dangerous neighborhoods, remodelled, repainted, rebuilt, opened restaurants and boutiques, and turned it into one of the city's best neighborhoods with a strong tax base. There are homes in my own neighborhood owned by gays that they put their effort and money into, and now those homes shine, increasing property values all around them. I've been on this earth far more years than I care to admit, and I have to say - I have yet to meet a single homosexual person, male or female, that I didn't like, and who didn't make a significant contribution in life. That can't be said for many of the heterosexuals I've known. And finally, let me tell ya - the best 'girlfriend' you could ask for is a gay guy. My friends keep me laughing nonstop, and brighten my life. Condemning a person's entire existence because of a mere 20-minute difference in bedroom behavior is wrong. If that's what 'God teaches', then I'm glad that's not MY God. My God is tolerant of all those that he created.

This may be to personal for some of you but... [2008-09-25]
How is the economy crisis effecting you? Your budget, your retirement, your family, your FRIENDS families. How is it effecting the circle you run with? Do you discuss this with family or friends? It is effecting my family. The gas thing alone is cutting our budget! My youngest started college and is driving back and forth. I've called my aunt who lives close to the school and asked if he could stay with her a few nights a week to save gas money. The drive for him one way is 1 hour. It has already saved us $$$. The fact that he can't find a job isn't helping either. There are no jobs for young people. Even in fast food! Food prices have effected what we eat! Have you priced CHEESE lately? A 2 cup packages of shredded cheese cost more than a gallon of milk! Food has gotten outrageous. We have our primary home and we have a small cabin that we go to on weekends. Our primary home is paid for and has been but we do have a mortgage on our cabin. LUCKILY and by the grace of God, we are in a fixed rate situation but it's still difficult. Did we spread ourselves to thin? Sometimes it is tough but we budget and try to be careful with what we spend. Our payment is nowhere near the $1500 per month mortgages people are talking about - and at that price point with an adjustable RATE - I don't know how people are living. Also lucky that we do not have credit card debt. I've read where the CC companys are raising limits to increase spending while increasing the payment interest as well? I see more and more credit cards being used at the grocery store. It's all just very scarey for me. We have some friends who are building their dream home. They have worked and saved for 15 years. The economy is blessing them in some ways since there are a lot of people looking for work but hurt them in others as the price of materials skyrockets!

From personal experience, do not stay [2008-09-11]
for the kids. They really do pick up on this. My oldest (she was 5 at the time) witnessed a lot of fights and other things that really upset her. Also, life is too short to be miserable in any relationship--especially if it has been going on for 3 years. If you have tried counseling and that did not work, then think at least about a separation. My family told me, after the fact, about how down and depressed I was before I left my ex, and the 100% turn around after I left. It does no one any good to stay when you both are miserable.

As the wife of a past mud-bogger....I can tell you this (sm) [2008-09-01]
I think he actually should be nice and be willing to help. No he is not obligated to do so, but he should do it out of kindness. My husband as I type, is still out, having driven far off to go duck hunting. Everything is always left up to me and I am afraid that is how it will also be for your daughter. If he is not helpful now, right before the marriage, he will only get worse after. That is a fact. It is a reflection on how much he values your daughter as well. Knowing that her mother is single and does not have others to help, he should be more than willing to come and help. In my case, my husband has never done anything for my family, but I am expected to do tons for his. I do a lot for them and I don't mind, but they never understand that I also do 99% of the child care and house work around here, and I also work. I work from home because with all of my husband's hobbies, someone has to be home to take care of things here!! Okay, off my soap box now. But I disagree with the poster below...You do have a right to be offended.

commercials for personal items. [2008-08-31]
nm

my hubby did that with his first wife!! [2008-08-20]
I didnwhat were you thinking and no, I will not marry you right now!

Oops - got my name and subject line mixed up above [2008-07-09]
Guess its time to call it quits. :-) The two are backwards.

I have no personal experience....sm [2008-06-22]
with esophageal cancer, but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am to hear of this.

I have nothing personal.... [2008-06-14]
against pit bulls in particular. I think all dogs can be dangerous given different circumstances. I don't think it is right to single out a particular breed and just take away an animal from its home without just cause. However, my elderly mother, who suffers from MS, has been plagued by horrible neighbors with many dogs. They do not keep their dogs in their own yard. Not only do they tear out my motherher back yard as their own personal bathroom. Their one dog bit their own daughter and nothing was done. They are always barking at us when we are in my mother I had one come at me and I picked up a shovel that was thankfully near meto protect myself if the dog continued it advance. Their little dog frequently gets under my mother We have called the Humane Society and they will do nothing. I personally think that people should have a right to shoot any dog on their property that shouldn If it weren A 60-some, widowed woman with health problems has no rights to keep destructive, mean dogs off of her property but hey....don Sad when a mut as more rights than my mom. Any irresponsible owner shouldn I will get off of my soap box now. LOL.

just a personal opinion... [2008-05-08]
I think this can be a little tricky with kids. Children's imaginations are developing and they are learning so many new things, not to mention they do not always know the meaning of things or understand reasons for the way things may be done. Adults on the other hand, I think their dreams do mean something. I think it is their subconscious talking to them. Things they regress coming to the surface. I know I have had some kooky dreams before and they seem to take place when I am struggling with something. I wouldn't put too much into it with an 8 yr old, I have a child who is 10, sometimes they just have bad dreams at that age. If it is something that happens regularly or your heart tells you your child is struggling with something emotionally, it might be worth looking into therapy.

"I'm leaving my wife." I bought it once...never again. NM [2008-05-08]
x

On the subject of fault. Dont read if easily [2008-04-11]
If my opinion upsets someone, I think it is their fault (for lack of a better word) if they get upset.Everyone owns their own feelings and should not let someone elsehow they feel. As far as lemmings and masses, those are generalities, a comment on society as a whole, not aimed at any one person. I am sorry if my opinions have so much influence over others. I will try to keep my thoughts in check.

Any kids with wife#2 are living at home and being [2008-04-03]
Kids should not expect to college paid for, so hubby should not pay for college for kidswith wife#2 since he did not pay for college for kids with wife #1.

sorry but I don't recall asking for personal opinion [2008-03-30]
no offense, but I was just asking those with experience on the subject.

Not my personal situation but I think [2008-03-25]
a lot of the people you hear bragging about their refunds are those on some form of public assistance or single parents who are getting the earned income credit. Although I think you can get an advance on this, most do not. Personally, I like to get around $2000 back for the year. I know I could be saving that on my own, but it If it were in my account, I The small amount of interest I'd make on it for the year wouldn't be worth the stress of having to save it. I haven We lost our house in a fire in October and were underinsured. Now we have to file some sort of tax deduction for that. It

At least it is not a bombshell to the wife. [2008-03-18]
They both admitted their relationships..had counseling and moved on. you know it has been said for years now that good people are afraid to run for office for fear of a skeleton rattling around somewhere. You know an investigative reporter will dig it out.

This is a personal subject between him and his wife. [2008-03-18]
First, I hardly think affairs are only a NY thing. Do you know all of NY office holders? If you believe stats, most American adults have had an affair. I don't think that necessarily makes a person not decent, it just means they're human and had a failing. Personally, I'm tired of God complexes in Government. This is a personal subject between him and his wife. I wonder how many of us could live up to the scrutiny heaped upon politicians. I KNOW I couldn't. I've made mistakes too.

WHY DOES THE BETRAYED WIFE ALWAYS STAND UP [2008-03-14]
WITH HER HUSBAND WHILE HE TELLS THE WHOLE WORLD HIS DIRTY LAUNDRY! I CERTAINLY WOULD NOT STAND UP THERE WITH HIM, IT MUST BE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE POWER, ETC. WHAT GIVES!

Tinea Versicolor? [2008-12-01]
Three months ago I moved during a hot, humid 2-day period using a car w/o AC. I wore a very uncomfortable underwire bra because it was the only clean one that had not been packed up. I developed an irritation under my arms that I attributed to that irritation from the bra and being sweaty. It has itched and burned forall thistime, sometimes getting a little better. Now I I Is this what you think it is and is there some over-the-counter treatment (tea tree oil, Selsun shampoo/lotion, etc.) that would help this or should I just go on to the doctor? Thanks for any help or personal experience!

This is what it is really all about.. [2008-11-30]
We all have a little bit of that Christmas excitement as well the true reason for the season even as adults. My Dad used to wrap things like Smiths Brothers cough drops, dominoes that he had lying around, peanuts, a bar of soap, an old deck of cards, a candy bar, and things like this... Well my SIL (my older brother Now granted my Mom would get things from Avon and give us as well, but these little things from my Dad would cause all of this giggling and laughing and thanks Dad; I really need these cough drops. He just got a kick out of it for sure and so did we. RIP: Mom and Dad (2006/1995,respectively). We miss those gifts!

Silly Girl shouldn't have to treat her [2008-11-30]
husband like a dog or a child. After all, she is his wife, not his mother. If she wants a pet, she can go to the animal shelter and get a dog. She married a man and he needs to act like one. It sounds like she gives and gives, and he takes. I think Silly Girl should start taking care of herself for a change.

Likening a spouse to a dog or horse... [2008-11-30]
imagine if a male doc suggested treating a wife like that; the outrage would be heard round the world. Maybe acting like adults and having a conversation like a married couple would help. How demeaning to treat a husband that way. Where do you women find these men that you have to train? Gesh, I always thought my DH was fabulous...now I am CERTAIN he is!

A lot of us have things in our past........ sm [2008-11-30]
that we are not proud of, and while we do not deliberately try to hide them, sometimes it is just easier not to talk about them as it is painful and very often misunderstood by those around us, even our spouses. It is not my business what this secret is that your husband has, but it sounds as if it is something that he has learned a lesson from and probably will not end up repeating in the future. My own personal opinion is that if this is not something that is threatening your marriage or your children right now, I would let the past stay in the past. In other words, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Plus size [2008-11-29]
I would think if she weighs 300 lbs and is 5 tall, she wears a size 30, or 4X. If she I would also try to shop at Catherine They I do buy underpants and plain t-shirts at Walmart. Catherine's is my personal favorite for both the styles and the prices. If you Oh look, theyup to 70% off sale right now! http://www.catherines.com/pagebuilder/

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

It's lying in the absolute literal sense, but so what. [2008-11-26]
I think itcontrolled dissemination of information can be a good thing. My kids don't need to know what I did when I was a wild child, for example. And on occasion I've told them there were no more Little Debbies in the house, even though I had a personal stash hidden away. LOL! As far as Santa goes, I loved it. The way I explained it to my children when they got older and stopped believing was that when weto give. When my oldest became aware of the Santa reality, he wanted to Santa for my little brother, and kept the fantasy alive for him. Now they do that for others. I consider that a reality. The arguments regarding the honesty of the Santa fantasy will go on and on. In the end, it's a personal family decision to participate or not, and I think we can all be respectful of other family's decisions by not divulging the truth within earshot of children who believe, and not arguing over the issue with parents who believe otherwise.

both my kids figured it [2008-11-26]
My kids never believed in Santa, and they would ask is there one and I would say yes, and change the subject because my kids have big mouths and would have marched into preschool and educated everyone else. So the answer is yes, change the subject, donhonest with your kids. We just minimalized the importance of it and get on with the rest of christmas.

Does anyone play board games or card games anymore? [2008-11-25]
My 7-year-old child was invited to a B-day party for a little boy that was also turning 7. Anyway, when it came to opening gifts, he got Wii game toys, the different controlers and games. I did not even know the kid had a Wii game, but it seemed like everyone else did. I bought him a race track and a game of Go Fish. The race track got an I already have that comment and the Go Fish was what the heck. He did not say that but he kinid of looked at it like that and put it back in the bag. I wondered if he even knows what Go Fish is. The only gamesmy child has are board games, card games, those free games you can play on the computer and 1 game that plugs into the TV. It looks like a joystick and it has 3 games in it. These games have helped her in her reading because she has to read directions. She can identify a lot of the ocean fish. I was treated like an outcast at the party anyway. Itried to join in conversations with the other mothers, I would get ignored or very short answers, some would actually walk away. Then one mother actually turned her back to me to talk to another so I would just listen. They were talking about building houses, they have lots of land blah blah blah. They were giving each other advice on what to do with it all. When the conversation turned to how their kids are struggling in this subject or that that is when I got up and left because they toned their conversation down and then shut it off completely when then thought I was listening, so I thought that was my cue just leave so they can vent to one another about it. Itwas moreabout the teachers expecting too much blah blah blah.I have known some of these mothers or their spouses since we were little kids. They really treated me like trash back then. I thought that now that we were in our 30s, have not had much contact with each other since HS until now that our kids are going to school together, it would be like water under the bridge. Guess not. The families were wealthier than we were (just about every family was wealthier than we were back thenlol)but I know theycan Well, actually I don The only thing I did have over them is my kid is not struggling in school. She is making straight As on all her subjects. The only reason I went was because my 7-year-old and the7-year-old boy are really good friends and Ithought thatmaybe me and the other mothercould find something in common.At school, they are in separable so I really wanted dd to go to help him celebrate his special day. I could not help but notice that dd played with him more and the others were playing among themselves. I do worry if that tee I worry that they are going to discriminate against DD because I was a poorlittle nobody back in school and they were popular.I worry that they are going to start refusing to let the little boy play with dd and it will break her heart and hate me. I take baths, I practice clean living, always have, no drugs, alcohol. I don I pay my bills. Everything I own, I got honestly, paid for it myself. Of course, it isn H is not from here, he went to school elsewhere. I used to worry about that too back when we 1st started dating..Him finding out I was an outcast, dork or whatever and hate me. Now I worry that my child is going find out and resent me.

Since when is teaching the [2008-11-25]
Since hubby is lacking in consideration and manners towards his wife, he needs to be taught via do as you wish to be done by. It is too easy for him todiscount her feelings until HE feels the same way, then he Without any understanding of how shocked and hurt his wife feels, heoutsiders with her stuffand discount how it might hurt her. And that is also damaging to the marriage, right?

Since when is teaching the [2008-11-25]
Since hubby is lacking in consideration, empathyand manners towards his wife, he needs to be taught via do as you wish to be done by. It is too easy for him todiscount her feelings until HE feels the same way, then he Without any understanding of how shocked and hurt his wife feels, heoutsiders with her stuffand discount how it might hurt her. And that is also damaging to the marriage, right?

Sex for 7 days challenge [2008-11-24]
What do you think? Anybody tried it? I heard the minister and his wife talking about it on CNN this AM. I can see where it would definitely bring two people closer, and strengthen their whole relationship. I just donnerve?? to even mention it.

Mine would have said, "No" but I hate that sm [2008-11-24]
You probably have a generous husband. Mine is but only with family, sometimes he is rude to the point I get upset. I would rather be nice about it, but then again, it sounds like an heirloom so with the holiday coming, just say, Hi, are you finished with my heirloom rolling pin, I can Then next time, say, Gee, sorry, the thing was so old, I guess you Just work around it and be happy you have a guy who shares. Mine drives me nuts when it comes to this subject, not a good sharer, what's his is his and don't dare borrow it!

Wow! Was a nerve hit??? [2008-11-24]
I didnLeave it to Beaver. That's just not the case. By the end of the 1960s and into the 1970s the pendulum had started to swing so far toward women having careers that we were often belittled for choosing to be home with the children. Remember Hillary Clinton's cookie baking comment during her husband's first campaign? In fact, stay-at-home moms were the norm for only one brief period in our history right after WW II in the post war boom times. There was a pretty awful recession in the 1970s, and I remember gas rationing and long lines at the pumps. My mother had to work two jobs, and my father, who was in construction, was often one of the first to feel economic ups and downs in his paycheck. But we had dinner together every night at the kitchen table. Before the stay-at-home mothers of 1950's t.v. fame, most mothers worked. They had to. Only the very privileged stayed home and waited for Ward Cleaver to come home from the office. My grandmother, who lived to be 94, God bless her soul, was born in 1908. Her mother died during the great Spanish flu epidemic in 1918. My grandmother was the eldest of four children, and at the age of 10 she became the woman of the house. She stopped going to school so that she could cook and clean and took care of her father and siblings. And no one thought that was wrong. It was expected because there really weren't any government social services -- no welfare, no foster care. Eventually, when her father's depression over the loss of his wife became so great that he couldn't manage to bring home an income, people in the neighborhood just took over. The two eldest children went to live with other families. The two youngest went to an orphanage. My grandmother's father just drifted away and his children never saw him again. My grandmother married at age 20 and had four children during the depression. Talk about having it hard. When I was a young mother trying to make ends meet and I'd cry to my grandmother, she brought me around to reality. She told me what it was like for her to raise children during that time. Many a night she cried over whether or not she could even feed her children or if they would have a roof over their heads. And she wasn't alone. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was in the same boat. The Great Depression was enormous. She and my grandfather worked wherever and whenever they could. They brought home a dollar or two at a time and fed their children buttermilk and potatoes. They didn't sleep, they worried all the time. Today, my grandmother's washboard hangs in my kitchen on the wall next to my dishwasher. It reminds me that I have no right to ever say that things are harder on us today. They aren't. Generally speaking, most Americans have so many more advantages, choices and opportunities than those who came before us. Yet many in my generation and the one or two generations behind me are just whiners and crybabies who don't think about the big picture. They even dare to say they have a harder time as parents today. Please. Not even close! Every generation seems to believe that, but just a short trip through a history book proves otherwise. I'm not that very old. But I've raised my children and I raised them well. I know what it takes to do that. It takes self-discipline, sacrifice and consistency. And you know what? That's exhausting. Parents today are tired. So what? All parents are tired. Offer it up, as the old nuns used to say. The kids have homework an hour a night. So what? They should have homework, and parents should make sure that it gets done, because education is important. There are parent-teacher meetings to attend, coaches association meetings, scout meetings, dance lessons, school recitals, etc. etc. etc. So what? Balance it out, quit what can't be done, do what can. Work because you have to. The kids have to be fed. It's still easier than it was a generation ago, two generations ago, three and on and on. We're parents to young ones for only a short time. Which reminds me, let's not forget about birth control. Most of us have 2-point-whatever children these days. I'm the youngest of 7. Most of the families in my neighborhood when I was growing up had 4 or more children. Today women can choose to have as many or as few children as they want. That means that we parent for far fewer years than the generations before us. I'm done with day-to-day parenting after just 20 years, and in fact, it got much easier on my day-to-day schedule once my boys were in high school. But my mother had children at home for 34 years. Imagine the number of cloth diapers for 7 children for year after year after year. Yes. I had it far easier, and I know it. So when I was exhausted raising my two boys, I just sucked it up and kept at it. The OP, I think, probably didn't want to be as blunt as I'm willing to be. She IS helping by babysitting her grandchildren while her children work. I'm sure she loves her children and grandkids, but I'm willing to bet that if she dared to say to her children the things I've posted, her children would react just as you did and she'd end up cut off from her family. To the OP: I hope it helped to vent a little, and I want you to know that I understand.

Probably self-explanatory... [2008-11-22]
On a personal level, I'm gothic... On a professional level, I'm an MT. People are somehow always taken aback at that combination, but I rather enjoy demolishing the preconceived stereotypes of others, so it's all good. Rock on, my fellow MTs :)

I do very little on the way of beading actually... [2008-11-22]
I do for my own personal uses mostly. I do some drawing, painting, a few crafts. I took a lot of art in high school, but no college level, though I have been considering it. I have this thing I do every year for halloween and I make my decorations myself. People always tell me I should sell my stuff, but I have no idea where to even start. Some of my creations are my babies so I have a hard time parting with them. I was just wondering if anyone had any pointers on how to get over that?

No, I don't think they're hidden from us at all [2008-11-22]
Most people know, or can discover with a little research, that most of the things we get are easily preventable or cured, over time, by our own immune systems. Taking antibiotics for a cold is not only foolish, but dangerous. And not just for you, but for all of us. Itminor things. The best care you can give yourself, besides preventive care (stay out of the sun, you eat right, exercise, if you etc etc) is supportive care. If you donINTRUDER!!! ATTACK!!! Ideally I should be able to deal with my pain by growing my own natural remedies, but the Federal Government tends to frown on a garden full of opium poppies and marijuana plants. Willow bark just donhidden, they're just not encouraged or advertised. Being a heathen gives me a distinct advantage in the area of herbalism as we tend to try traditional remedies before running to the doctor. Even if I'm fairly certain that about half the time the traditional remedy makes you feel better because it's loaded with alcohol (in our case). No, drugs do NOT take too long to make it to market. They make it too quickly. Before AIDS hit it could take 30 years for a new drug to make it to market. Now they're being released so quickly they've not had time to test for long term effects. Vioxx is a good example of what can go wrong with that one. Who would have guessed using it long-term could kill you? It definitely damages your heart. That's just one of many drugs that were fast-tracked, that shouldn't have been, and that are now the focus of class action lawsuits after people have been injured or killed due to lack of long-term clinical studies. Are there drugs that made it to market quickly that have proven safe? Of course there are. Unfortunately there's no way for us to tell in advance how thoroughly something has been tested, how long it spent in R&D or how wide-ranging the clinical trials may have been. So we're all guinea pigs now. It really is a balance. I feel that for myself, itpersonal responsibility and we seem to have a dearth of it in this country.

Private counseling [2008-11-21]
Go to a private counselor yourself if he wonANONYMOUS programs attract those who do not get it and go around town blabbing your business, ruining your lives even moreso. Yes, they save lives but they often ruin them with their gossip, even the name gossip hisses, it ruins lives, topples marriages, loses jobs. Be sure before you let these people into your personal, private lives and your homes. Sometimes private, closed-door counseling is the best way to go. Then if you are both comfortable with going public that is your own personal decision. Beware of who you let into your life. If you were going to take a plane ride you would want to know the pilot.

this is horrible p.s. [2008-11-19]
If you don't stand up for yourself (and your kids) you will end up with a son who treats his wife the way your husband treats you and a daughter who feels it is okay to be starved by her husband. I get that you have creditors, but you are a family. You can't have some members paying the price and others not. Either everyone eats a little less or no one does & you find a different way to deal with the situation. Food is not a luxury.

You are both so kind, and you are right [2008-11-19]
on the mark. Yes, the credit cards are his. He lived off credit cards for several years to support himself and his kids after he and his wife split up. His wife never paid child support and he paid for daycare and everything, so had to pay for extras outside of his salary on credit. Then when I came along I was doing real well as a hospital MT, but had to quit because I was here and he needed me to watch the kids. He did not understand I had a shift like a regular job. So, after several months of my back and forth work and being with the kids, the boss gave me an ultimatum daycare for the kids or I leave my job. I told my DH that my income which was very good at the time was important to me as I have supported myself my whole life including being a single mom. But he would not budge. So, I quit. It has been 3 years and most of our marriage my trying to balance kids (I love them don Next time you get money mommy, GO FOOD SHOPPING. He said that right in front of DH. But, I just know when I do that the gorging goes on. I explained to DH about telling his son about gluttony, but he laughs at me. So, when I see him and his son eat this way, I get grossed out and am not hungry at all. I am sorry to say all this here. I actually just came back from the doc who gives me nerve pills because of my situation and he says I am doing really well coping with the situation. Which he knows what is going on. He is sending me to see a good counselor who he says, will validate me and give me support and confidence. Last time I went to see a counselor she told me to leave. But, my son loves his step sister and brother and so I want to stay. Well, sorry for the soap opera. I think when I start making more money I will get food and tires for my car, etc. but I will hide some food and snacks and siphon it into the general population here. That way they don't get snorted up by certain people. LOL. (And yes, I am putting an emergency fund away. But this is why I wish there was more transcription out there!) Thanks for your kind words and support. Between you and the doc today, it makes me feel I am not alone! :)

Ted Kennedy back on Capitol Hill [2008-11-17]
returning to work 6 months after his brain cancer diagnosis. He looks and sounds great. Good to see him back. He has his wife anddogs with him too.

I would start charging the JA for room and board - sm [2008-11-16]
If he is so lazy he wonfriend, and tell him the gravy train has stopped and he needs (1) to either take the dogs and take care of them himself, (2) start paying you $200 a week to feed and board the dogs (a bargin)--and if he fails to pay the dogs go to a no-kill shelter (and stick to it), (3) in the future if he does take the dogs back, that he has to find other arrangements for their room and board whenever he is away, unless he pays you in advance with cash and supplies the food.-- yeah he will think you are a shrew but who cares, I'd be so mad at both of them, DH for not understanding and being a wuss for not talking to his friend, and the friend for being the typical male and taking advantage of a good thing. Good luck, and stick it to them!

I think you are an inspiration for wanting to do this....sm [2008-11-16]
I guess a lot of us can relate; I have 2 or 3 people from my past that have moved far away and I have no way of finding them right now, but please believe me, I truly want to do the same thing, go to them and make peace, to say be able to forgive each other and leave things on good terms. Regrets and guilts can slowly eat away, and it is good for your own personal health to do this, you must feel so much better. WE all mess up, we all need forgiveness now and then, or to grant forgiveness. You are a lovely person with integrity, honor, and caring to do this, such a lovely post to read!!!

Most are just hoping to have some joy for their kids sm [2008-11-14]
Wefantasy. They do put it together at a certain age and itWe had an older kid who spoiledour Christmas party because he thought it his business to out the Santa thing to the younger ones as he was, bless him, highly intelligent and was told the truth from birth. Had some kids crying at one point. I think the point is, do what's right for your own family and try to have something for the kids to look forward to in these hard times especially. There is no right or wrong, just all interpret things differently and we're all very tired of all this bad news going on in the world. Have to look forward to something! Happy Holidays, no matter how you celebrate! We adults know the reason for the season. Bottom line - be happy! Life is temporary, imagination is wonderful, it takes us away from the bad news for awhile. Joy to the world and to each his own. As long as the older kids keep the secret to themselves, they also should enjoy the excitement of watching the little ones have fun with it. It's all good.