Was married to a man with zero drive sm

I absolutely love it. We have to drive [2008-11-07]
to the next state to go. I think it is just the excitement of being there. Thank goodness I don't have a lot of extra money, or I could see myself there all the time. We go 1 or 2 times a year. I have met lots of interesting people, players and dealers. When we go we usually spend the night, so it is a little get-away. I don't win very often (Did hit for $150 on a slot once)--I only take an XX amount with me and leave the debit card at home. The only problem I have is not realizing the time--one time I was going back to the room, leaving the BF at the table, and looked at my watch and it was 4:30 a.m.

Have Braille on Drive Up Teller Machines? [2008-11-05]
Iless fortunate. I just think this is a funny thing, that's all!

You've been married 15 years [2008-11-02]
and you've put up with it for 15 years. There's really no reason for him to change, is there? You've allowed him to do this to you. Sorry to be so blunt.

3-way stops drive me nuts -- [2008-10-14]
we have 1 at the end of our block. When returning home, I am always on the street that doesn Unfortunately, I do have to turn left from that street and for some reason the people across from me, waiting at the stop sign to come straight through, seem to think that they have the right-of-way. They have a stop sign. I do not. If I don If I do put on my turn signal, they think I should have to stop. It drives me nuts. They may as wellmake it a 4-way stop.

people drive in the "fast lane" when they aren't passing anyone!!! [2008-10-10]
get over already!!! Didnslower traffic keep right!!! LOL my rant for the day :)

Nitwits drive around at dusk/dark with no [2008-10-10]
headlights onin a gray or black car, no less.

I can drive myself where I want to go! nm [2008-10-08]
x

We got married [2008-08-20]
in the country by my husband's nephew's backyard pond. It was beautiful. I walked down on a long white aisle runner and stood under a decorated trellis. Wouldn't have traded an outdoor wedding for the world.

had to be married twice the same day. [2008-08-20]
Married at a beautiful,famous restaurant in the state of Kentucky. Lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, which is right across the bridge from Kentucky. At the last minute the rabbi said I can't marry you there, I am not a licensed Rabbi in the state of Kentucky. We were married legally early in the morning at 8:00 am at the rabbi's house in Cincinnati where he was licensed as a rabbi, in his flannel shirt, his wife in her housecoat to witness the wedding, my hair had not been done yet by the hairdresser and was standing on end, so much for the groom seeing the bride 24 hours prior. At 12:00 noon the wedding progessed in Kentucky with 350 guests and 32 yards of chantilly lace in my gown, but we were already married. The ceremony was for show only.

Being married to a recovering [2008-08-20]
alcoholic (he was an active alcoholic for 15 of the 30 years we JMO

We got married on our property... [2008-08-20]
just a little ceremony with a few friends and the pastor. We have 15 lovely acres of land and were married near the barn. Everytime we walk past that spot we stop, say I do, kiss and walk on. If we ever leave here we will take some of the dirt with us as a fine memory.

Where did you get married? [2008-08-19]
A church, city hall, a park, on a beach, on a sailboat, a private home, a cabin in the woods, other? Was it in the U.S. or a foreign country? I got married (eloped) in a chapel. It had 4 pews in it. Made in the U.S.A.

church, church, courthouse. Married the same man [2008-08-19]
all 3 times.

Why not drive down to your parents on [2008-08-13]
x

It's called Prey Drive [2008-08-04]
Yes, there are things you can do, especially depending on breed. In particular, if your dog is a large breed like a GSD or Rotti, please get on the web and research prey drive.Virtually every breed has at least 1 great web site dedicated to itwhere you can lurk or join and learn tons of stuff. Prey drivecan escalate if unchecked, no matter how sweet and nice your dog is.High prey drivedogs may kill cats, dogs, etc. Most dogs simply want a job. If they get to do their job each day, some of their behaviors can be modified and changed. I understand how frustrating it is, but try to remember your dog is doing what is absolutely normal for him. Working on the problem now may really save you and your dog heartbreak down the road. I wish you both the best of luck!

yep...got married. [2008-07-14]
sheezh

That is a good idea--take it for a test drive. ;-) nm [2008-07-10]
xx

Big bunch of lies...look at all the inconsistencies in ages/virgin when married 14yrs ago, but has a [2008-06-30]
Please see a psychiatrist. You are obviously seeking attention by posting lies. Furthermore, you said he was your prince charming...then you said he talks like he is retarded and that people have asked you if he is retarded. What was so 'princey' about a man who sounds like a retard and has psoriasis all over his body. Why would you have married him in the first place? How does a woman who was a virgin almost 14 years ago end up with a child who is already 14? You make it seem as though you are always without food but you are extremely overweight after having what you described to be a perfect body 14 years ago. How did that happen?

Oh, he still could be married. Never too rich or too thin! NM [2008-06-24]
x

So who is going to drive them to the [2008-06-08]
bank? You? I doubt they have a good enough credit rating to get the house, so just get your paperwork in order as quickly as you can and see if you can beat the competition to it, no matter who the competition is. While you stew, a whole other person might come in and snap up the house you want.

Was married to a man with zero drive sm [2008-05-30]
I mean, he seemed to have some drive in the very beginning, but after about a year he seemed to have no drive at all! He would constantly complain about being tired...even after spending the entire weekend asleep on the couch. He took antidepressants and it didn He took sleeping pills to help him sleep more deeply, didnup for fun either. Hottie lingerie didn NOTHING WORKED. We are divorced for some years. When my oldest child was a teenager and would stay over at dad I thought...mmm...same argument new wife! It wasn't me!!! I have talked to enough of my friends to understand that some men lose interest or perhaps they lack any kind of a drive anymore. This is why my friends and I all agree that you need a younger man so that when his interest peeters out you LOL

'Cause where I live I have to drive to everything - [2008-05-29]
market, laundromat, post office, etc. No bus around here, and the train doesn't stop in this town. Also there wasn't much work in Feb., and I still had to drive. No cash for gas at the cheaper station, so had to buy the more expensive brand-name kind.

I have been single again as long as I was married and there is not a day I don't regret leaving s [2008-05-27]
BUT it was still the right thing to do. I have been happier since and I am fine on my own, but it was extremely tough as he didn Financially it was terrible, but the relief of his absence was enormous. He was critical. He was always rude. My friends would only come to visit when he was on the road. The kids would pick up their messes, but he made more than they ever did, never helped and constantly criticized me for not being a perfect housekeeper like his mom...who didn I had more kids than she did, worked always and ended up being too exhausted for him. He is a homophobic homosexual and going out on mommy and daddy dates was always humiliating because he spent the evening looking at other men I got out and suffice it to say, at quite a price financially and emotionally. I have not remarried, have only had one relationship in 15 years and feel too damaged to ever try again, but I am FREE from all of that. My kids were pleased when he left and were all too anxious to help him to leave the house!

Perfect example of a woman who married the money [2008-05-13]

Why do you assume she married the money? [2008-05-13]
Jealous much? I can Plus, you act as if a 6-figure income is rich and let me tell you, it I This is still America, the land of opportunity, and we all have a chance to better ourselves if we choose to do so. Granted it is harder these days than say, 10 years ago, but it is still possible. Cripes, there are illegal immigrants living better off than it sounds like some of you are!

I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm [2008-11-30]
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles. We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time! I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that. But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother. Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.

Silly Girl shouldn't have to treat her [2008-11-30]
husband like a dog or a child. After all, she is his wife, not his mother. If she wants a pet, she can go to the animal shelter and get a dog. She married a man and he needs to act like one. It sounds like she gives and gives, and he takes. I think Silly Girl should start taking care of herself for a change.

Likening a spouse to a dog or horse... [2008-11-30]
imagine if a male doc suggested treating a wife like that; the outrage would be heard round the world. Maybe acting like adults and having a conversation like a married couple would help. How demeaning to treat a husband that way. Where do you women find these men that you have to train? Gesh, I always thought my DH was fabulous...now I am CERTAIN he is!

I just need to VENT and see what you all think...Beware...this is long...sm [2008-11-30]
I have tried twice to tell this story but deleted it both times because the story is just too long so I will be as short as I can. I have a bunch of ROTTEN TO THE CORE sisters.My sisters are just about the worst people I have ever met in my whole 43 years on this planet. There is one who is especially bad and I just told my other sister that if she ever dies, to please not call me as I won I come from a very large family with 5 sisters and 1 brother with my brother being the oldest. He is not involved. He sort ofleft the family years ago because he couldn They did terrible things to him after his divorce. We rarely see him now.I am considered a scumbag and a loser because my husband and I don We don We don We can We love our children with everything in our souls. They have made fun of me and my husband and insulted us to our faces.My husband and I have a difficult marriage as he is tough to get along with so they hate my husband My sistershave all gone out to dinner without inviting me. I have found out because of someone They have made threats and sent rumors flying throughout the family, without me knowing, about calling DCYF on me. I heard that one too from a slip of the tongue. I cried for 2 hours in the shower that day. They talk about everyone and I mean everyone badly. They have awell known reputation ina couple of our towns here for being mean horrible girls. They are about as fake and phony as a person can get. Sweet and all smiles to your face and when you turn around, they stick that knife in as far as they can get it in. They have what they have in their lives because of what someone has given them. My sister had her property given to her by her in-laws. It is worth about $1,000,000. My other sister had land given to her by her husbandto lessen their mortage burden so now they owe almost nothing on their $500,000 house. They think they are fabulous people. They think they are the cat In the past years when we were all talking and I would be invited to a holiday, I was not spoken to at all the whole time I was there. I am a venter and I always have been so if my husband and I are fighting, I will always go to my older sister (one up from me) and vent and vent until I can She gets on the phone the second I leave and tells every person in my family what is going on. They in turn judge me and my husband, make their threats, and so on. This is also happening to my oldest sister and her partner (she is in a gay relationship but was always dating a man and was married twice) and my sister The three of us, me, my sister and her partner, and my sister We get along well. We are happy with each other. We don Whatever happens in each other lives, we just accept it and don I now attend holidays at my sister I don I don The sisters (I like to call them the Witches of Eastwick) all attend holidays with each other up at my sister The three of us are not invited. My older sister has a son. Several yeas ago, my sister and her partner had a terrible fight with him. He went to the witches and told them a bunch of lies and now they have pretty much shunned her and her daughter and me too because we still talk to her.I have a sister, who is involved in all of this, that I speak to on a regular basis. She is close to my kids or at least my oldest son. She pretty much ignores my other two children and they tell me, It She is the one who has spread rumors about me in the family trying to get everyone to call DCYF on me. I heard this too by a slip of the tongue from another sister a few years back. I tend to be a forgiving person so I quietly forgave her for this without her ever knowing that I knew what she was trying to do. Now that they are all inviited to the holidays up to my sister They are extremely fat just like her. These holiday trips up north are usually kept quiet and I only know about it the day before they are leaving to go, which is when she inevitably asks me to come feed her f******g cats. This is how Iknow that a big party is going on up at the cabin and once again only the chosen selected few are going. This is usually for 3 or 4 days and they get fed twice a day so I have to goto her house twice a day. Sometimes I have to give them medication and the last time she asked me, I even had to soak her sick cat She lives about 20 minutes away from me. This girl would NEVER, NEVER, EVER do this for me. My husband and I took our children on a cruise 3 years ago and we have a cat and I never asked her to do this for me as I know she would have laughed in my face. I have been feeding her cats for years now when she goes away. Keep in mind though that she was in the select chosen few to be invited up to the cabin. I was not as I am considered trash in the family. I am SICK AND TIRED of feeding this girl My sister who invites everyone to go is a mean, horrible, sadistic, vicious, backstabbing wretched b***h. No one will say anything to her like, Gee Pat, where is everyone else? Didn They could care less. All they know is that THEY were invited. Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. I cananymore. I have been thinking of this all day all weekend long. I am really to the point where I just don I am goingto tell my fat a** b***h sister to fnd another way to get her cats fed because I She is just using me and believe me when I tell you, she enjoys it. She is verydiabolical. She loves it that I am not invited and she and her husband are.She even questions me and counts the cat food cans to make sure that I came on all of the days they were gone. These people have balls of brass and I have had ENOUGH.I am just sitting and waiting patiently for the next time she says, Oh, we Can you come and feed the cats? I just canNo. I can I will never feed your cats again! Find some other sucker to do it! I believe that they are severely narcissistic people and this is nothing to take lightly.These types of people are very destructive. Do any of you have family members like this and what do you do about them? How do you stop them from making you feelsad, lonely, excluded andless than you are or deserve? I think it is time for me to cut all ties with them. I just can

Gift Giving [2008-11-29]
I just got married in July 2008, bought a new home, and am now expecting my third child in April 2009 so we ourselves have had many blessings this year but our financial situation is also pretty tight. We will not be buying gifts for anyone but our children. Our family will receive homemade treats this year. We still like to do something nice for them because they have done so much for us this year and every year but we don't have a lot of money to play with. In my case, we take care of our obligations (bills, our children, etc.) before we worry about gifts. We feel that providing our children with things that need and the love that they deserve is more important than any material gift will ever be. Our family understands our situation and is very happy just to spend the holidays with us without the expectation of a gift because honestly the quality time with family is the biggest gift we could give each other. In my opinion, you should just explain the situation to them and let them know that you will not be giving gifts this year. They may take it hard but they will get over it. You have to do what you have to do. Gifts aren't the real reason for the Christmas season anyhow. Good luck to you!

we don't exchange gifts either [2008-11-29]
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation. I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.

Black Friday.... [2008-11-29]
I donshopon line), buy it and if it if not, oh well, makes no difference to me. My last Black Friday purchases were Cabbage Patch dolls (the FIRST incarnation of them many years ago) for my daughters. That was enough for me.

I went through this myself about 20 years ago. [2008-11-28]
My husband is the eldest of 4 siblings. They tend to give expensive gifts, and none of them have children. I came from a very poor family, so our Christmas holidays never included lots of gifts. When we were first married I stressed over the gift selection and the money we spent. My husband, who is an accountant, stressed over every penny. When our first child came alone, I quit my full-time, downtown career-oriented job and stayed home. Our family income was cut in half, and so we had to tell everyone, our siblings, parents, friends, etc., that we couldn't afford to give any gifts. Family members wanted to give us gifts anyway, and we begged them not to, as it really made us feel uncomfortable to receive but not give. We didn't need anything, really. We just couldn't afford to spend anything on gifts. It took us about 3 years to get everyone to play by our rules. Twenty years later, and we're doing better financially, but we still don't exchange gifts with anyone but our children. Even my husband and I don't exchange gifts. We try, instead, to make donations to charities or causes that we care about. Over the years, some of our family members have experienced financial difficulties, and they opted out of the gift giving either temporarily or permanently. It always feels a little strange at first, but eventually it's ok. The season isn't about the gifts, and if the gift-giving becomes a burden, then that's certainly no fun. You have the financial responsibility for your family. You make those decisions, not family members who make you feel guilty. They'll get over it. Don't let it get you down.

Holidays are hard [2008-11-26]
My parents were divorced so my sister and I spent many years shuffling between two houses. When we each got married and had our own families the situation got even more complex. My parents are now deceased and my sister and I are estranged (even though we live in the same town), so in some ways life has gotten simpler. I still get very emotional and depressed around the holidays because of my dysfunctional childhood and negative expectations, but I don't have as much guilt and stress anymore. My husband's parents and family are back in our hometown 600 miles away, and for the last few years he's gone back there for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with our youngest child. I don't begrudge him that because his folks are elderly and I don't want him to have any regrets later. I can't go with him because we have a lot of animals to take care of, and frankly, I'm really comfortable just hanging out at home with them anyway. We have adult kids too, and two grandchildren, and I encourage all of them to live their lives without the burden of guilt and feelings of obligation. If they can come by and have dinner or visit that's great, and if not BIG DEAL. Honestly, it's just a day. Things got easier for us when we realized we didn't necessarily have to celebrate a holiday on the exact day it was scheduled. I really understand your not wanting to let your mom down, and I would feel the same way. Your husband is a big boy and has made a choice, so that's on him, not you. He's probably being a bit immature and stubborn on this one. I hope you'll extend the invitation to your husband one more time, then go to your mom's and enjoy yourself whether he comes along or not.

Boy men are such children - sm [2008-11-26]
my DH is a j*e*r*k like that too sometimes. He refuses to stay at my dad's house because he re-married so quickly after my mom died. (he wants to stay in hotel--which is very expensive where they live--....though we have not done it yet because as yet he has refused to go, so I go w/o him and the kids and I have lots of fun--he did go once 2 years ago though he made us stay at a friends apartment, very silly). There is more to it than that but that is a big part of it, and he thinks my stepmom's family thinks he is a loser. He is hung up on what people think about him and imagines slights, looks, etc. all the time, very hard to live with. But he know I will leave him in the dust and do what I want as he is acting like a 2-year-old. I would just go and not worry about him acting like a baby. If you stay home with him you will be mad, resent him for making you miss out spending time with your mom (which you will regret if something happened to her any time soon), and probably have a boring day at home while he watched football all day and you cook or twiddle your thumbs. He will probably never be the bigger person and bite his tongue and go, though he should. Men really are babies though at times.

See inside [2008-11-26]
My daughter (now 19) has always had more guy friends than girls mostly because she does not care for the drama and backstabbing that many teenage girls engage in. What I would take into account is how your daughter acts around these boys--how does she dress (my daughter is an athlete--no low-cut shirts, short skirts, etc) and what are her mannerisms (too flirty or just chillin as friends) or do you see something more--watch the behavior. Have always welcomed all kids to hang out at my house--even though it has driven up my food bill--because I feel that way I know what they're doing, hear how they are acting/talking (they can forget you are around the corner), and I get to know who they are hangin with. As time goes by you can get to know who a lot of the kids are in your town including siblings and parents--have always made it a point to network, network, network--soccer games, helping in school, etc. Always offer to drive too--they will also sometimes forget you have ears up there in the driver's seat. I like to remind my kids that they don't know who I know so they should keep that in mind when out in public because you never know what could get back to me.

what about the transportation issues [2008-11-26]
I agree, it is so much easier on the days that the kids are busy with afterschool activities and sports. But my question is: How do you sign kids up for activities when you work all day? How do they get there? And how do they get home? She is too old for daycare and too young to hang out with kids who drive. LOL. She is in the middle, and as you know it is a difficult age! So what can kids do at 13 when school is closed and no one is available to drive but still stay out of trouble? It's nice when they hang out here but then I get no work done and end up pulling all my hair out.

Yes. When my daughter was 13, most [2008-11-26]
of her friends were guys. Girls at that age can be quite nasty and jealous, so she wouldprefer guys over girls. She used to play Playstation a lot with guys. She is 19 now and still hangs outwith the guys. Most of the guys are her boyfriend They still play Playstation, go to McDonalds, and go to the movies. I always kept an eye on where they were though which was usually in the front yard too or in the living room. I wouldn Guys drive like nuts anyway. Now she drives with them but she is an adult now. She does most of the driving too. They all pile in her truck. I learned by her hanging out with guys at an early age as friends, it made it easier for her to communicate with men when she grew up. She understands men more because of growing up with them as boys. Maybe ask your daughter why she feels more comfortable with the guys than girls. Maybe there are girls giving her problems that she doesnone of the guys. It is a hard age though. Their feelings can get hurt very easily at that age. Good-luck.

About tatting sm [2008-11-24]
I tried to learn as kid and I just didn't get it. The gal who tried to teach me was very good and got me interested, but I could not get it. It is very like making a fishing net. Those little knots have to be just so or you end up with a knot. I have done that more times than I can tell you. I had a neighbor who handed me a can before she moved. In the can was a shuttle and some tatting thread. She says to me TO ME! LOL I'll bet you don't know what that is. As it happens, she didn't know what it was! I picked it up and said bet I do...and started to tat. By the time I was in high school, I could TAT pretty well. I made a couple of blouses for work that had Peter Pan collars. One was baby pink, the other baby blue. I embroidered on the collar and then tatted enough matching lace for the edges. I loved those and wore them a very long time. I wish I had time to make another one in white, but most of my efforts going into sewing for others. I have 15 pr of boxers on my sewing table for my son who won't wear anything else...as in he hates store bought boxers. He is married and should grow up, but he won't until I am gone and can't do it for him any longer. Right now, I have a soft sheer crepe that I am making into a wedding dress for my daughter. They are going to the JP in January before he deploys and we'll do the first ceremony. When he returns they will get married by a lake in Minnesota. He wants to build a pontoon with his dad and get married on the pontoon at sunset. We'll do her wedding gown next summer. Both dresses have to be baby pink and please don't ask! She gets what she wants, it is her day(s).

What would you think? [2008-11-24]
Here Best friend and neighbor from kindergarten through highschool. Grew apart with college but stayed in touch. After college I moved out of state, she moved back in state - still stay in touch and email regularly. I see her every time I am in town, if she is available. She is got married in November and eloped in Jamaica. She is having a reception in December. I planned to come to the reception, take my stepchild out of school, etc. only for this reason and its on a Friday so its a 4-day weekendtodrive there.I am pregnant and not able to travel after the holidays. My family decided to throw me a shower there that same weekend because I really canafford to go down again. They specifically planned it for Saturday night so she would be able to make it after her festivities Friday and any of her family leaving on Sunday. So I saw her recently when I went for a visit and she said she wouldn She then gives me a gift, not wrapped, obviously thrown together and tells me that she picked it up quickly on her way to meet me because she won't be able to make the shower. It When I got married she sent me nothing, not even a card but she was just out of college. I had planned to give her a $50 gift for her wedding. I received a $10, maybe $20 baby gift of which 1 outfit is the wrong gender. She was well aware we know what were are having. This is my first baby. My feelings are conflicted on this but the more I think about it, the more upset I get. I just dont Is it truely that she is just wrapped up in herself right now and the marriage moment and happily every after and (after almost 10 years) I am over the marriage thing being some huge, happy,perfect day and realize there is more to life? I feel like she could have atleast planned to stop by the shower for 10 minutes and I wouldn Or she could have even told me she planned to come and then couldn Sorry this is getting long. I just can Am I clinging to a friendship that is not there?

I have a BFA too, in metals though-sm [2008-11-24]
went in for design originally then got into metals work, jewelry, functional art stuff, unfornately you have to either make sometime mainstream that starts a fad and keep it fresh all the time, or die basically. I have known a few successful jewelers (worked for one of them) who just kind of fade out after a few years. I never hit it big, did so some good shows (juried only), never made a lot, had reps who peddled my stuff to local galleries for me, but have not done that in quite a while. Neighbor wants me to go with her and split costs at local craft fairs, but I really have never made any money that way. I love crafts though, into crochet though don't have the time for it. Recently got a very nice used table-top weaving loom and hope to use it at some point, maybe do some runners or placemats---took a weaving class my last semester, wish I'd done that sooner, really enjoyed it. Sounds like you have done a lot though. I have done just about everything you have listed there except the interior design, not really my thing, but have made clothes, and cakes, very good at those, and have had people suggest I do it for a living but both are so timeconsuming. I love gouche and acrylics, have never done oils, I am more into abstract though I do love landscapes just never tried them. My plan is once we get all the bills paid, the house, and kids are done college to get back in my jewelry.....this way my DH won't drive me nuts being home all the time too. Maybe I will put him to work wtih some fabrication and assembly!

First off, you're pregnant [2008-11-24]
that in itself will make this situation feel 10 times worse than it is. Having said that, I do agree that I would be a little miffed, myself. It She I would also agree with the poster below that you have grown apart. Being that you Ifun years before I got married and then before I had children. You're just at different places in your life. The best way to handle the situation is to go to her party as planned. I would not splurge for the $50 gift card. I If youwild days. You don Anyone would understand a pregnant woman would be tired from such a long travel and then the party. When you leave, be sure to seek her out and let her know that you If not, let it go. If you haven Believe it or not, some people would think they didn You have so much to look forward to and baby showers are way better than bridal showers/receptions anyday. You can eat as much as you want and all your guests will say is how cute you look. Don

Try to re-read the above couple of posts [2008-11-24]
about material things. It matters not if it's yours or your husbands (a little weird to me to begin with if you're married). I think you're missing the point.

I just wanted to thank you! [2008-11-24]
To the person who posted to informed us of the free photo books at snapfish.com sponsored by Oprah, I just wanted to thank you! I ordered one and my mom ordered one for herself too! They turned out great. I did a wedding photo book as I got married a year ago and still hadn't done a wedding album yet. It turned out amazing!!! Did anybody else take advantage of this amazing offer?

Wow! Was a nerve hit??? [2008-11-24]
I didnLeave it to Beaver. That's just not the case. By the end of the 1960s and into the 1970s the pendulum had started to swing so far toward women having careers that we were often belittled for choosing to be home with the children. Remember Hillary Clinton's cookie baking comment during her husband's first campaign? In fact, stay-at-home moms were the norm for only one brief period in our history right after WW II in the post war boom times. There was a pretty awful recession in the 1970s, and I remember gas rationing and long lines at the pumps. My mother had to work two jobs, and my father, who was in construction, was often one of the first to feel economic ups and downs in his paycheck. But we had dinner together every night at the kitchen table. Before the stay-at-home mothers of 1950's t.v. fame, most mothers worked. They had to. Only the very privileged stayed home and waited for Ward Cleaver to come home from the office. My grandmother, who lived to be 94, God bless her soul, was born in 1908. Her mother died during the great Spanish flu epidemic in 1918. My grandmother was the eldest of four children, and at the age of 10 she became the woman of the house. She stopped going to school so that she could cook and clean and took care of her father and siblings. And no one thought that was wrong. It was expected because there really weren't any government social services -- no welfare, no foster care. Eventually, when her father's depression over the loss of his wife became so great that he couldn't manage to bring home an income, people in the neighborhood just took over. The two eldest children went to live with other families. The two youngest went to an orphanage. My grandmother's father just drifted away and his children never saw him again. My grandmother married at age 20 and had four children during the depression. Talk about having it hard. When I was a young mother trying to make ends meet and I'd cry to my grandmother, she brought me around to reality. She told me what it was like for her to raise children during that time. Many a night she cried over whether or not she could even feed her children or if they would have a roof over their heads. And she wasn't alone. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was in the same boat. The Great Depression was enormous. She and my grandfather worked wherever and whenever they could. They brought home a dollar or two at a time and fed their children buttermilk and potatoes. They didn't sleep, they worried all the time. Today, my grandmother's washboard hangs in my kitchen on the wall next to my dishwasher. It reminds me that I have no right to ever say that things are harder on us today. They aren't. Generally speaking, most Americans have so many more advantages, choices and opportunities than those who came before us. Yet many in my generation and the one or two generations behind me are just whiners and crybabies who don't think about the big picture. They even dare to say they have a harder time as parents today. Please. Not even close! Every generation seems to believe that, but just a short trip through a history book proves otherwise. I'm not that very old. But I've raised my children and I raised them well. I know what it takes to do that. It takes self-discipline, sacrifice and consistency. And you know what? That's exhausting. Parents today are tired. So what? All parents are tired. Offer it up, as the old nuns used to say. The kids have homework an hour a night. So what? They should have homework, and parents should make sure that it gets done, because education is important. There are parent-teacher meetings to attend, coaches association meetings, scout meetings, dance lessons, school recitals, etc. etc. etc. So what? Balance it out, quit what can't be done, do what can. Work because you have to. The kids have to be fed. It's still easier than it was a generation ago, two generations ago, three and on and on. We're parents to young ones for only a short time. Which reminds me, let's not forget about birth control. Most of us have 2-point-whatever children these days. I'm the youngest of 7. Most of the families in my neighborhood when I was growing up had 4 or more children. Today women can choose to have as many or as few children as they want. That means that we parent for far fewer years than the generations before us. I'm done with day-to-day parenting after just 20 years, and in fact, it got much easier on my day-to-day schedule once my boys were in high school. But my mother had children at home for 34 years. Imagine the number of cloth diapers for 7 children for year after year after year. Yes. I had it far easier, and I know it. So when I was exhausted raising my two boys, I just sucked it up and kept at it. The OP, I think, probably didn't want to be as blunt as I'm willing to be. She IS helping by babysitting her grandchildren while her children work. I'm sure she loves her children and grandkids, but I'm willing to bet that if she dared to say to her children the things I've posted, her children would react just as you did and she'd end up cut off from her family. To the OP: I hope it helped to vent a little, and I want you to know that I understand.

It's about 25,000 here and it's awful [2008-11-23]
you would think that being in a small town has its benefits but it doesn't. There is no work, people are getting laid off. There is no industry except a couple grocery stores, restaurants, and things like oil changers, Staples, etc. But not the kind of industry that produces anything like computers, TVs, etc. Anyway...the crime rate is skyrocketing. There is no college, so the kids are graduating from HS and hanging out all over the place. The drug problem is getting so bad. They even have special Meth squads, but the problems are not getting solved. Additionally our wonderful town decided to vote against any funding for the police or fire department, so our jails are closing down and the police are being cut in half (think we will have maybe one or two POs for this area). They are letting the criminals out of jail and they are roaming the streets because they canhoodlums (for lack of better word) hanging around the outside. Drug addicts and gangs are now walking up and down the streets in front of our house. Nobody in our neighborhood talks to each other. So we're looking to move where there are more police and people are willing to pay higher taxes to keep the public a little safer.

Will spend about $300 for the grandkids.. [2008-11-21]
we donmetal detector, probably around $1200 and I have the same amount to do something with. We don't really buy gifts for each other but we do go away for Christmas week to a cabin in the mountains that we rent, no phone, no TV, have to drive 12 miles to get cell service. We relax, read, snowshoe, ski, bring the portable DVD player and catch up on movies, sleep late. That's our gift to each other.

OMG!!!! How terrible! I can not imagine...sm [2008-11-20]
how upset you must be. I wonder what on earth happened to him? That would drive me nuts! Only 2 years old! I am so sorry!!

According to DH, our budget is $1,000 [2008-11-20]
But more likely I We have 3 kids. We usually get them 1 big gift to share and then round it out with smaller gifts. This year, they It The breakdown of the other $350: Parents $150, Grandma $25, Gift Exchange $60, Siblings (from my kids $20, Niece/nephew: $40, Teacher Gifts $30, Student Gifts: $15. The remaining $30 will go to Toys for Tots! Each of my kids like to pick out a $10 gift to put in. I have 3 siblings and 1 that My brother that Of course, my 2 unmarried siblings also buy small gifts for my children, so we always get them a little something from them -- usually lottery tickets or a gas card for Sheetz. $10 used to fill We do our exchange party on Christmas Eve. It keeps the kids entertained and gives them a little preview of what I have to say I enjoy Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day. It Teacher gifts kill me. It I usually go for a coffee mug with a Christmas scene or teacher saying on it and fill it with candy. Of course, DH thinks I do all this for Christmas for $1000, but why tell him and spoil it? We do a Christmas Club for $1000 every year and I just buy the other stuff here and there. We already got our Christmas gifts for ourselves -- a 46-inch LCD TV for DHand a Dooney Bourke purse with matching wallet for me. Now you all got me excited again about shopping next week. I I always wait until the day before Thanksgiving to do that so I know I won For those of you below who posted that you don Let me just say that I don I sometimes snag a deal or 2, but I learned a long time ago not to wait until Black Friday to get the most sought after items. Best to get them in Sept or Oct.

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.