Way past childbearing age..

Fake for the past 3 years [2008-12-01]
I love it. Lights came attached and are remote control, no untangling of lights! Not to mention I bought it on sale 3 years ago for $99 so it's already more than paid for itself. I miss the smell of a real tree but not the mess and constant watering and picking up needles, trying to keep my animals from drinking out of the water in the base, etc. :)

I have something in my past [2008-12-01]
That I haven't told my husband and I don't plan on it. No one but me and one other person knows about it and the other person is long gone. It was something medical, and no it wasn't an unwanted pregnancy or anything like that. There's no need for him to know since I didn't know my husband back then and it doesn't have any bearing on anything in our relationship now.

A lot of us have things in our past........ sm [2008-11-30]
that we are not proud of, and while we do not deliberately try to hide them, sometimes it is just easier not to talk about them as it is painful and very often misunderstood by those around us, even our spouses. It is not my business what this secret is that your husband has, but it sounds as if it is something that he has learned a lesson from and probably will not end up repeating in the future. My own personal opinion is that if this is not something that is threatening your marriage or your children right now, I would let the past stay in the past. In other words, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Hi elonmt. Yes, past the Rockaway Mall [2008-10-29]
going west towards PA. Live off of Route 80. My power went out at 12:30 as well as cable. Power came back on at 3 a.m. this morning, 29th and cable back on at 10 this morning. Man o Man. It has been crazy here. We had about 5 inches. Trees were falling, power lines down, roads closed. If felt like a January blizzard when I was out shoveling. Yes, I had to do it, but it was very heavy. I could not even have a cup of hot chocolate when I was done. We had to go out to eat also, but I was not complaining. Sleep with sweatshirt on with a hood and many, many blankets. Glad it is over. Can't wait until we get into winter. LOL

Where in Northern NJ? Past Rockaway Mall? [2008-10-28]
no msg

I have fostered dogs in the past, but [2008-10-25]
had a hard time giving them up, still have all three! In my area, the shelter relies heavily on donationsto keep operating efficiently, so basically the foster homes take responsibility for all expenses of the animal being fostered.Fostering gives animals a chancewho would otherwise be put to deathbecause of lack of room, money or lack of people to rehabilitate the ones who have been mistreated and need extra attention.It is so worth it to give an animal a second chance at life.You have to be willing to let go though when the time comes and it is very hard to do. I just could not do it and so now just stick to volunteering at the shelter and doing fundraising and stuff.

sorry, but I couldn't get past Daddy sleeping with [2008-10-09]

As the wife of a past mud-bogger....I can tell you this (sm) [2008-09-01]
I think he actually should be nice and be willing to help. No he is not obligated to do so, but he should do it out of kindness. My husband as I type, is still out, having driven far off to go duck hunting. Everything is always left up to me and I am afraid that is how it will also be for your daughter. If he is not helpful now, right before the marriage, he will only get worse after. That is a fact. It is a reflection on how much he values your daughter as well. Knowing that her mother is single and does not have others to help, he should be more than willing to come and help. In my case, my husband has never done anything for my family, but I am expected to do tons for his. I do a lot for them and I don't mind, but they never understand that I also do 99% of the child care and house work around here, and I also work. I work from home because with all of my husband's hobbies, someone has to be home to take care of things here!! Okay, off my soap box now. But I disagree with the poster below...You do have a right to be offended.

Dogs - past and present [2008-08-28]
What breed(s) do you have now? What have you had in the past? I have two Basset Hounds now. In the past, I've owned a Beagle/German Shepherd mix, a PitBull/Doberman mix, a Beagle, and another Basset Hound. Growing up, I had a Chihuahua and an English Springer Spaniel. Love Basset Hounds the best of all breeds, followed closely by the Beagle.

We just got WII fit this past week [2008-08-11]
I) We bought this WII for my son last Christmas and I can honestly say it was money well spent. They have a blast with it and they aren't constantly sitting. We don't have the Guitar Hero but maybe that will be next on the list.

current and past choices [2008-07-25]
Current: NCIS, Mad Men, DamagesPast: West Wing, Will Grace, M*A*S*H, Shark, Golden Girls

what is something you have bought in the past you will NEVER [2008-05-06]
Mine is Little Critters Omega-3 Gummy Fish. Cute concept but the berry, lemon and strawberry flavoried gummies somehow manage to taste like fruity flavored fish When I got them, my kids gagged with the first one and wouldn't even touch the second one for the recommended 2 a day. So guess who is choking down 2 of those suckers every day now?

Just how often has he abused you in the past.If you [2008-04-18]
x

Past, present, future. Still expecting miracle. [2008-03-20]
//

Way past childbearing age.. [2008-02-14]
NM

Sharing your past [2008-01-29]
I have an 18 yo son and a 16 yo daughter and this subject comes up occasionally. So far we haven We both come from alcoholic families though were blessed never to become alcoholic ourselves, but we We strive for simplicity in our family, and they can see how immoral behavior almost always makes for a more complicated life. At 18 and 16 they both just tasted wine for the first time (other than church) this Christmas and none of their friends drink, or even smoke. They know their grandmother died of emphysema. They also know that my life changed drastically when their oldest brother was born 37 years ago when I was 18, and also that both their father and I have struggled hard all our lives because of not going to college. For every but you came out okay there's the answer that it could have been so much easier to get here had we made different choices, and making the right choices is what it's all about, isn't it?

No...but just can't get past this one - still ROFL! [2008-01-29]
x

She's graduated past the age [2007-12-28]
where you should feel an obligation of any kind. You are her godparent, so she is supposed to give you a gift, right? Is she?

A bunch of us on the "other" board did this in recent past [2007-12-20]
s

It is in the not-so-distant past that women had very few rights! (sm) [2007-12-11]
My mother was sexually abused by her stepfather - it was the 60s - she went to the police and they told her to go home. She ran away from home and they took her back. She told family members and they told her to keep it quiet. She eventually somehow pressed charges and took him to court...and the judge told her to go home and forget about it.

Past retirement age. [2007-11-29]
NM

This past weekend my neice was [2007-10-29]
leaving school (this is her freshman year) to come home for the weekend. Her car wouldn She certainly could have called her RA for suggestions or even called campus securtiy but due to no experience with something like this she caught a ride with a friend that lives in our area. Her mother and a friend took her back to school yesterday with jumper cables (turns out the battery was dead cause she had left a light on) and a few lessons about her car. They showed her how to use the cables, check air pressure in tires, check oil, washer fluid, etc. Both my kids are still home so these are things I had never thought of and obviously my SIL hadn A lot of these things I still don I lived with my parents until the day I married so I have always had someone to take care of these things for me. I just wanted to pass along this tip for anyone else like me that just never thought about it before. I guess we all live and learn.

I don't know how women in the past did that - sm [2007-10-10]
I mean for me it hurt like the dickens (unfortunately did it twice that fateful evening) and I couldn't walk without incredible pain for days afterwards. Who would want to deal with that on their honeymoon? Certain would kill the urge.... Now maybe that is not the norm, but I swear childbirth was easier.

Michael Vick getting his way past dues [2007-09-25]
Whoopi does not seem to know that all southerns are not into dog fighting (ridiculous) but grand jury in Virginia bringing their own charges against Vick for the dog fighting. Just heard on Fox channel. Good for them! Says he could get up to 10 years- hope for that also. What a rotten excuse for a person.

nothing-it was an hour of past scenes of [2007-09-17]
like eric and jessica.......borrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggg. I watched the feeds last night on Showtime 2 and across the screen it said that earlier in the evening, the Jury house sat with Daniele and ED and asked all kinds of questions and then went into deliberation until tomorrow night....but from the feeds, you wouldnmust have been instructed to not discuss that on the feeds...and they did discuss some of the things that they were not to discuss over the summer last night on the feeds.

No, but I bought a few things from WP [2008-11-30]
I bought a convetion oven a year ago and it puked out this past week when I wanted to broil a london broil.I was very disappointed. Up until then, I used to make cakes and wholeBBQ chickens on the rotisseie which all were great, plus the baking/roasting things. I'm hoping I just did something wrong when but I'm afraid I might not have. I also have his SS pots and pans bought a year before that that are still sitting in the box because I found anoter set of pots and pans that were given as a Christma giflt, so I'm using them. i will be making chicekn again this week rotiserries style so keep your finers crossed for me. Of course, the warranty ran out prior this happening.

Do you have any [2008-11-30]
Secrets about your past or family that your spouse does not know about or found out that your spouse was keeping one from you? Things tend to slip when family spends a lot of time together around the holidays. Do we need to know everything about our spouses or should bad decisions from high school and childhoodbe left in the past? I firmly believe nothing should be deliberately kept from a spouse. My spouse knows everything about me but I have nothing to hide from my past. I recently found out thatsomething has beenkept from me. Deliberately I He does not know that I now know this secret. Not sure if I should keep the secret and pretend I don A part of me wants to hear from him that he believes it was a mistake and would never encourage our children to do the same.

A lot of us have things in our past........ sm [2008-11-30]
that we are not proud of, and while we do not deliberately try to hide them, sometimes it is just easier not to talk about them as it is painful and very often misunderstood by those around us, even our spouses. It is not my business what this secret is that your husband has, but it sounds as if it is something that he has learned a lesson from and probably will not end up repeating in the future. My own personal opinion is that if this is not something that is threatening your marriage or your children right now, I would let the past stay in the past. In other words, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

I just need to VENT and see what you all think...Beware...this is long...sm [2008-11-30]
I have tried twice to tell this story but deleted it both times because the story is just too long so I will be as short as I can. I have a bunch of ROTTEN TO THE CORE sisters.My sisters are just about the worst people I have ever met in my whole 43 years on this planet. There is one who is especially bad and I just told my other sister that if she ever dies, to please not call me as I won I come from a very large family with 5 sisters and 1 brother with my brother being the oldest. He is not involved. He sort ofleft the family years ago because he couldn They did terrible things to him after his divorce. We rarely see him now.I am considered a scumbag and a loser because my husband and I don We don We don We can We love our children with everything in our souls. They have made fun of me and my husband and insulted us to our faces.My husband and I have a difficult marriage as he is tough to get along with so they hate my husband My sistershave all gone out to dinner without inviting me. I have found out because of someone They have made threats and sent rumors flying throughout the family, without me knowing, about calling DCYF on me. I heard that one too from a slip of the tongue. I cried for 2 hours in the shower that day. They talk about everyone and I mean everyone badly. They have awell known reputation ina couple of our towns here for being mean horrible girls. They are about as fake and phony as a person can get. Sweet and all smiles to your face and when you turn around, they stick that knife in as far as they can get it in. They have what they have in their lives because of what someone has given them. My sister had her property given to her by her in-laws. It is worth about $1,000,000. My other sister had land given to her by her husbandto lessen their mortage burden so now they owe almost nothing on their $500,000 house. They think they are fabulous people. They think they are the cat In the past years when we were all talking and I would be invited to a holiday, I was not spoken to at all the whole time I was there. I am a venter and I always have been so if my husband and I are fighting, I will always go to my older sister (one up from me) and vent and vent until I can She gets on the phone the second I leave and tells every person in my family what is going on. They in turn judge me and my husband, make their threats, and so on. This is also happening to my oldest sister and her partner (she is in a gay relationship but was always dating a man and was married twice) and my sister The three of us, me, my sister and her partner, and my sister We get along well. We are happy with each other. We don Whatever happens in each other lives, we just accept it and don I now attend holidays at my sister I don I don The sisters (I like to call them the Witches of Eastwick) all attend holidays with each other up at my sister The three of us are not invited. My older sister has a son. Several yeas ago, my sister and her partner had a terrible fight with him. He went to the witches and told them a bunch of lies and now they have pretty much shunned her and her daughter and me too because we still talk to her.I have a sister, who is involved in all of this, that I speak to on a regular basis. She is close to my kids or at least my oldest son. She pretty much ignores my other two children and they tell me, It She is the one who has spread rumors about me in the family trying to get everyone to call DCYF on me. I heard this too by a slip of the tongue from another sister a few years back. I tend to be a forgiving person so I quietly forgave her for this without her ever knowing that I knew what she was trying to do. Now that they are all inviited to the holidays up to my sister They are extremely fat just like her. These holiday trips up north are usually kept quiet and I only know about it the day before they are leaving to go, which is when she inevitably asks me to come feed her f******g cats. This is how Iknow that a big party is going on up at the cabin and once again only the chosen selected few are going. This is usually for 3 or 4 days and they get fed twice a day so I have to goto her house twice a day. Sometimes I have to give them medication and the last time she asked me, I even had to soak her sick cat She lives about 20 minutes away from me. This girl would NEVER, NEVER, EVER do this for me. My husband and I took our children on a cruise 3 years ago and we have a cat and I never asked her to do this for me as I know she would have laughed in my face. I have been feeding her cats for years now when she goes away. Keep in mind though that she was in the select chosen few to be invited up to the cabin. I was not as I am considered trash in the family. I am SICK AND TIRED of feeding this girl My sister who invites everyone to go is a mean, horrible, sadistic, vicious, backstabbing wretched b***h. No one will say anything to her like, Gee Pat, where is everyone else? Didn They could care less. All they know is that THEY were invited. Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. I cananymore. I have been thinking of this all day all weekend long. I am really to the point where I just don I am goingto tell my fat a** b***h sister to fnd another way to get her cats fed because I She is just using me and believe me when I tell you, she enjoys it. She is verydiabolical. She loves it that I am not invited and she and her husband are.She even questions me and counts the cat food cans to make sure that I came on all of the days they were gone. These people have balls of brass and I have had ENOUGH.I am just sitting and waiting patiently for the next time she says, Oh, we Can you come and feed the cats? I just canNo. I can I will never feed your cats again! Find some other sucker to do it! I believe that they are severely narcissistic people and this is nothing to take lightly.These types of people are very destructive. Do any of you have family members like this and what do you do about them? How do you stop them from making you feelsad, lonely, excluded andless than you are or deserve? I think it is time for me to cut all ties with them. I just can

And sad to say, a lot of people this time of year are mean and cranky... [2008-11-29]
I am basically done with my Christmas shopping as well...I have found in the past that if I had something in mind and waiting until after Thanksgiving, it would be out of stock and I would have to pay more for it in the long run...

you sound like me - [2008-11-29]
for the past couple of years, I have said, let's forget the gifts and just spend the day together at my mom's house -- but oh no, that would be horrible if we did not buy presents. This year, my sister's husband lost his job and now it's automatic, we are not going to be buying gifts. I always wonder, why is it that one person in the family always seems to make the decisions for everybody else?

We got our tree today [2008-11-29]
We went to a tree farm, took a tractor ride and cut down our tree. We have 12 foot high ceilings and usually get a 12 foot tree, but this year we put it at the other end of the family room, and we got an 8-1/2 footer. We used to have a fake Christmas tree up until about 8 years ago or so when our cat began eating all the fake pine needles. Long story short she ate so many she had to have emergency surgery to remove them (she wasnt' able to pass them) and $1,500 later we decided no more fake trees. She's no longer with us, but when she was younger she would climb in the tree and actually knocked it over one year. We had to anchor it to the wall. Our other cat never really bothered the tree except batting around ornaments at the bottom. He's been over sniffing it today, but hasn't paid much attention to it over the past few years.

I have a 14 year old daughter also [2008-11-26]
Thankfully right now she doesn't have any boyfriends, although there are boys in the neighborhood who are friends that we've know for 13 years that she'll meet up with when the weather's decent and everyone is outside. She has amazing friends who come from good families and I trust her and them. I guess you just have to trust your children and decide how much leeway you feel you can give them. There are a couple of younger girls in the neighorhood that hang out with a whole group of older boys and just walk the streets. Those are the ones I'd worry about. Just this past year we've been letting her go to the mall with her friends alone and she has started going to parties, but she always has to go in a group and come home at a decent hour.

Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm [2008-11-25]
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think??

D and Jane [2008-11-25]
I was so surprised to see D and Jane books in our local book store this past weekend. I didn't think they were still in print. When I told my daughter about them she looked at me like I had two heads! LOL. I didn't realize I couldn't type out D???. I couldn't even use the ! in it like the poster above.

I have a BFA and am an artist sm [2008-11-23]
I am not, at this point, trying to make money at it. I have sold things in the past, however. Stuff I do: scratchboard landscape painting in watercolor and acrylic, some oils colored pencil drawings for really intense and detailed color reborning dolls I design and make rag dolls and their wardrobes soft sculpture stuff interior design (have done loads of this for money) silk ribbon embroidery and regular too crochet knitting tatting (needle and shuttle types) sewing (a particular passion because I design clothing, draft the patterns and make the item, always fits like a dream) decorate cakes which I have been paid for I don't quilt. Because I make garments I can't see the joy behind taking a big piece of fabric, cutting it into little pieces and sewing it back together to make a big piece of fabric. I know there is a lot more to it, but this is what stops me! I don't scrapbook because I don't need another hobby (see above). I especially appreciate the efforts of others with regard to scrapbooking and quilting, because I don't do these things. I have used my design skills to make a living. I am an extremely good costume designer and I have built some incredible costumes in my time. There is not a lot of money in community theater and more to the point, I don't like theater types. It is not my scene. I prefer to work in a solitary environment without a lot of other people's input. This is probably at the root of my being an MT. The money is good and I have enough time and funding to participate in my avocations.

I really appreciate your words [2008-11-22]
You have no idea. I painted a dining table and someone we knew offered me $1000 for it but I could not give it up because that meant that we didnso, we will go get another one and you can do another one. But they never are the same. He offered to sell my headboard I painted. I have this huge 5 x 8 headboard I painted with a picture of a beach scene and has palm trees for the posts. He wanted to sell that off too. I was a little heart broken, cause I made it for my bed, not someone else's. I am not sure how to get past that.

P.S. I am totally not market/investment [2008-11-21]
savy, but just did what he suggested. I have been with this guy for 12 years and he has made me money in the past, so I just went with what he said.

How exciting for you -- sm [2008-11-21]
I My mom always drug me out an hour before the stores opened. The ads usually come out in Thursday In the past, I Get the paper and makea game plan. Some stores open an hour or 2 later than others, so you may be able to get to both in time for the specials you Wal-Mart generally has a lot of specials, especially in the toys dept. Our Wal-Mart gives you a map when you enter to tell you where each BF special is located in the store. They put some stuff in strange places -- like TVs in the meat dept, computers in dairy, etc. It Ask the Wal-Mart greeter when you enter. Our Wal-Mart is also open 24 hours, as are most, which means no waiting outside. We usually arrive an hour before the sales start so we can be in position for the item. Obviously, the most-sought after items are electronics, so be there early if you Target is 1 of my favorite places because their specials run all weekend, not just until 11 a.m. (I hope it They usually open an hour after Wal-Mart. I usually head there second because even though the specials run all weekend, they do run out of stock. Kohl The cash can be redeemed usually starting the Sunday after Black Friday. Don If there General advise: Wear comfortable shoes. Be polite to others, but don If you got there first, it Make sure you and DH have cell phones so you can communicate if you get separated. Most importantly, HAVE FUN!!!! Let us know how you make out afterwards.

Ewwwwwww!!!! [2008-11-21]
I couldn't watch past the first minute when she told her daughter no monkey business. That is just wrong.

Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm [2008-11-20]
Iit just isn while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here. Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I donno other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.

I think you are right. [2008-11-20]
I have had most of the day to think things over and cry. I did talk to him a bit and realize that it is mostly his pride (man-ness) that is the problem. I just have to stand my ground and not feel guilty for it, although I will anyway...I think that is just the female (or pregnant hormonal lol) way with feelings, etc. I have also been thinking today that even though things are getting really tough, we have been able to pay our bills so far. It's really going to suck with the holidays especially but it will be past in a couple months and life will resume as normal. Who knows where we will be by then but for now things could be much worse. Even with all the headaches, stress, tears, etc. it could be much worse if we lost a job or...well I don't even want to think about the other horrible things that people go through. Thanks for your support and understanding. Some times women just need to know that they aren't alone in their struggles.

I think I spend less at the store when [2008-11-18]
we eat out/order in. Of course, then our entertaining budget increases. But some things are cheaper to just order in. For example, pizzas -- I can get 2 large pepperoni pizzas from the local pizzeria for under $20. If I buy them in the store, I spend about $15 and then have to cook them and my kids don The frozen kind are also smaller. I just got groceries this past Friday and spent $200. I had an entire cart full. In addition to the coupons I had, I also had a 20% discount on everything (one of those reward plans for spending so much the previous 2 months). I got value packs of skinless/boneless chicken breasts - buy 1 get 1 free -- $15 packs of chicken, breakfast sausage on sale, ham steaks on sale, plus my 20% off all that. Overall, I think I spend somewhere around $150 a week on groceries. There are 5 of us -- me, my hubs, and 3 boys -- ages 6 to 11. What I notice that I spend more on are school lunches. It costs $2.00 a day per child and I don I $2/day x 3 kids = $6/day x 5 days/week = $30/week x 4 weeks/month = $120 for lunch. YIKES!!! I think I can do better than that if I pack them.

I'm embarrassed to say this, but [2008-11-18]
we usually eat out at least 3 if not 4 nights a week. Always eat out on Fridays and Saturdays and then usually Tuesday and Thursday nights. I generally cook a large family meal on Sunday with enough leftovers to last through Monday. Tuesday night we either order in and Wednesdays we have breakfast for dinner -- my kids love that one. Thursdays we usually order in because it We usually eat out Friday nights because we go to get groceries (I don Saturday we We When it was a 15-minute drive to town, I planned our meals ahead of time and usually only ordered once a week or once every 2 weeks and we only ate out on Saturdays. We seemed to have picked up these extra 2 nights of ordering in out of convenience (a nicer word than laziness). Oh the cost -- I have 3 kids and a hubby. On the nights we order in, we spend about $25 to $30 (saving because of no drinks or appetizers). When we eat out, the bill is usually around $50. So altogether, I guess I spend about $155 a week on eating out -- WOW/YIKES! Thanks for making me realize that. I think it

I believe it is rated MA, and if not it should [2008-11-18]
be. As for reading the series for Twilight, once I started I could not put it down. With the first book, the first 7 chapters are slow, but if you get past that you are hooked.

Rest in peace, Fred! [2008-11-16]
We just put our 22-year-old cat, Fred, to sleep this evening. He had wasted away from 17 pounds to 5 pounds and was too weak to stand or eat. He was a loving companion for the past 22 years and will be missed dearly. Rest in peace, Fred. Benny, Gus, and Lily will be waiting in heaven to greet you with open arms!

I think you are an inspiration for wanting to do this....sm [2008-11-16]
I guess a lot of us can relate; I have 2 or 3 people from my past that have moved far away and I have no way of finding them right now, but please believe me, I truly want to do the same thing, go to them and make peace, to say be able to forgive each other and leave things on good terms. Regrets and guilts can slowly eat away, and it is good for your own personal health to do this, you must feel so much better. WE all mess up, we all need forgiveness now and then, or to grant forgiveness. You are a lovely person with integrity, honor, and caring to do this, such a lovely post to read!!!

I need some advice [2008-11-15]
Ok this is the story: My husband is still friends with his first girlfriends family. This does not bother me. She did a couple of things to really disgrace her family when she was dating him but after a period of time he still kept in touch with them as we live in a very small community. When we met and got engaged they were all very kind to me and the mother even did the cake and flowers for our wedding. The ex is never around much so no big deal. Well this past weekend her great grandmother passed. My husband had known this woman for sometime and the mother asked him to come to the funeral and told me I was not to feel like I shouldnI. To which the ex rolled her eyes and looked at her HUSBAND. So we walked away. To tell you the truth, we didn't really care. Well we get a phone call about an hour ago from the exum we aren Well, knowing how immature the ex and her husband are, we knew they were behind this (plus we could hear them in the background). So my husband told the boy Look, it Well a few minutes later he gets a text message from the brother saying my mom can (which obviously is not true since we saw her Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon and she was obviously not mental). So my husband sent back a message saying Look, whatever issues your sister has with me and your mom having an ADULT friendship, she needs to take those up with your mom, but quit trying to start drama. Well a few minutes later the phone rings. My husband handed me the phone. Knowing how mad he was at the moment, I answered. It was the ex. She asked if she could talk to him, and I said No. This needs to stop right now, it She said well my mom is really going crazy and she can. She went on for about five minutes and I said fine, we won I'm just so angry right now! I mean this is high school drama! What would you do? I know the mom will be absolutely heartbroken if my husband and I just stop coming to see her and talking to her (since her lovely daughter never comes home). I mean except for the funeral, we never go around if she is going to be there, and we don't sit there and talk bad about her or anything. I honestly think she knows she screwed up by messing around on him SIX YEARS AGO and is just upset that he's married and happy and it sounds like her husband is a jerk.

I have two dogs [2008-11-13]
They love me and are all over me every chance they get. Most dogs love me. The dog next door will look at my kitchen window and if she sees me, she will wag her tail and bark until I come out and pet her. I am horribly afraid of German Shepherds. I got bit near my eye by one. My BIL has 2 of these dogs and they can tell I don't like them. But they just avoid me. Now my friend who lives about a mile from me has a small dog and that dog hates me with a passion. It gets so upset and snarly when it even hears my van. I refuse to go in her house until that thing is caged. Am I bad person? I don't think so. Funny thing, I drive past her house to pick my girls up from school. They have a couch in front of a big window and every day when it is time for me to go by, that dog gets up on the couch and when I drive by it freaks.

Slightly different perspective. [2008-11-13]
So maybe I shouldn't post about this since I have not exactly been in your shoes but I think possibly I can lend a help perspective. I lost my father to cancer when I was 19. My FIL is an alcoholic. No I didn't grow up in a divorced family or without a father through my childhood and no I haven't experienced my father being an alcoholic. What I feel I can tell you is there is such a thing as being too late to say the things you wanted to say, good or bad. If it does come to that, you will never let it go. He is still your father regardless of the choices he has made in his life. You only have 1 father. After seeing my FIL, I believe alcoholism is an illness. Sure people can fight it and get help if they wan, but it takes a very, very strong person to overcome it and it is a constant battle. From the sounds of your post it seems as though you have some things you need to get off of your chest. Whether that means sitting down and talking to him or putting the past in the past and moving on with any kind of relationship - I think only you can figure that out. Even a relationship that is only on holidays and important events is still a relationship. Who knows, maybe talking to your mom would help her as much as it might help you. It certainly can't be a short conversation, it needs to be thorough to get through the surface feelings and to the nitty gritty. Maybe, just maybe, your mom could shed some light for you on why she has been able to forget the past to a certain extent and move on. If nothing else, this might make you and your mom even closer and it sounds like no one else (professional or otherwise) would understand better than her. With my FIL, we do not stay when he is drunk or starts drinking. The entire family knows we pack up and leave, regardless of the situation. It hurts his feelings sometimes I can tell, but he knows the circumstances and we have small children that we will not subject to that. It was difficult at first but over the years it is just the way it is and no one says a word anymore and respects where we are coming from.