What about lesh laws

Must be nice to know you have in-laws ...sm [2008-11-14]
who would help. My parents couldn't help. My father in law couldn't either BUT mother in law could but wouldn't I know because she is so tight. She would just say oh well loose all your sh**. She wouldn't come off her money.

I get this too...especially my in-laws... [2008-11-04]
nm

Where do you think laws come from? [2008-10-16]
Most of man's laws are based on the Bible, the 10 Commandments usually. I am not comparing gay people to criminals. Based on your statement that God expects us to be happy, regardless of what form that happiness might take, I am asking the question that, if it is okay with God for a person to be gay if it makes them happy, is it okay with him for a person to steal, commit adultery or murder if it makes them happy. You changed the context of the subject, not me. And for what it is worth, there are still states in which sodomy is a crime, therefore gay sex is a crime. There is even a state where adultery and fornication are a crime. http://www.sodomy.org/laws/

No the in-laws are not an option the only reason - sm [2008-08-24]
we borrowed from them was they did not want us taking a loan and paying interest...so they gave/loaned us $14K interest free, I have it down to $10K so far. That is the extent of their involvment. DH would rather die than have his parents know about this I know that. They do have the money to help but that would put us under their thumb the rest of their lives and I don't think either one of us could deal with that. We do have some assets we can sell that would pay off at least half of the debt, though I don't see him being too thrilled about doing that, it is a good solution to part of the problem. I am considering talking to my brother or my dad, but again he will have a cow when he finds out about that (he will lose face in his mind). He always worries about what others think about him, etc, it gets real wearing at times.

yes, i'm limiting stay overs at the in-laws sm [2008-07-09]
We are trying to raise our kids to be respectful. My FIL is a kid in an adult And that Like having my 10 y/o throw bottle rockets after he has lit them. I didn I told him I don I There I just want my kids to be respectful, compassionate for others, and open minded. But it is nice to know that there other parents out there that go through stuff. My 10 y/o (I feel) doesn He I (See his dad is not a good communicator at all, as is the whole in-law family). Sorry for rambling on.

What about lesh laws? [2008-07-02]
If you have a pet running around in this town you will be fined up to $500 whether the dog did anything while running about or not. I do hope the little girl gets past her fear of dogs someday. I have a 6-year-old that has that same fear but she has never gotten bit so I don She has turned now many playdatesbecause ofthose tiny, barking house dogs. One friend in particular wanted dd to come over and play sobad but dd refused because of the dog and I explained that to the mother. I suggested that the litltegirl is welcome to come play here, after consulting with dd first and she agreed. (I wanted to make sure it really was the dog notthe other girl). So they come over, with their little barking, jumping dog andturned it loose in our house and dd started screaming and crying and very rudely ran them both off. I felt bad becausedd bluntly told them to leave butI did not geton to her too much about it becauseitdid not make sense to me. I had just explained that dd was very scared of the dog so why did they bring it to my house and turn it loose in my living room. The dog was not mean, just very very hyper. MIL shares that same fear and does not know why. She quit visiting a friend because their hyper little dog kept jumping on her and the owners would not do anything to control it. I guess dd and MIL are 2 peas in a pod when it comes ot that.

Check state laws . . . [2008-06-27]
In my state your divorce is not finalized until you have been living apart for six months. You file the papers, and have to live separately for six months for it to even be final or legal.

I've had bad experiences with them, but I disagree with the laws... [2008-06-12]
We used to have a rottie (died last year) and they have the same stigma attached to them. We were actually denied homeowners insurance with many different companies because we owned a rottie. The funny thing is, he was the biggest sweet dog you ever met, a giant teddy bear. Our chocolate lab was 100 times more likely to be aggressive/hurt someone, but of course they don That said, I Because of my experiencw ith my rottie though, I don Dogs should be judged on an individual basis ONLY.

Jails are overflowing because of insane drug laws. [2008-02-11]
xx

just so you know, many states have laws [2007-12-19]
against any corporeal punishment now, especially for kinship care (relatives raising kin children). For example, in many states I cannot even give push ups or running laps as punishment, forget about spanking! And throwing cold water on a child would get the child taken away from me. There are laws you can't withhold food as punishment or send a child to be early. There are over 5 million children being raised by relatives and just under 600,000 in state foster care. Things ARE much different now.

I understand some of these laws but [2007-12-19]
not being able to send a child to be early. Who gets to decide what is early?

Any ideas on what to get in-laws for Christmas whom already have everything - sm [2007-12-09]
and they don Thanks for any ideas any of you may have. I am at a loss right now. Thanks again.

I have the same problems with my in-laws [2007-12-09]
Last year we got them a gift certificate to the local grocery store that they always go so and we decided to do the same again this year. Everyone has to eat. They live in a small condo and have all the money in the world to buy what they want and they're at an age where they don't need anything.

This goes along with sweet in-laws... [2007-11-22]
My son was born in September 1994. We found out8 weeks later he had pyloric stenosis after changing formula, etc. I worked in Radiology as an MT at the time and had the GI study done there. The radiologist was so nice, but informed me that our son was severely dehydrated and would need urgent surgery. The surgery took place the night before Thanksgiving. My in-laws brought my husband and I a plate of their meal with utensils and all. Thankfully, our son (first born) came through with flying colors and is in perfect health now. My parents were supportive on the phone, but my Dad had just been diagnosed withcancer and was too weak to make it in to see us. So, I guess it was the worst and the best Thanksgiving ever and one that I will surely never forget for a very long time.

At my in-laws' house one Thanksgiving, sm [2007-11-22]
my brother in law's dog took a crap right in the middle of the living room. My mother-in-law (rest her soul) walked into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of papertowels, wiped up the poop, threw the papertowels out, washed her hands, and sat back down at the table. She was like it was no big deal! We were all laughing like crazy AFTER she sat back down and we saw she was not fazed by it at all. It was too funny.

I think you are taking this out of context...I originally asked about my in-laws basically coming ov [2007-10-31]
and then the issue of locking doors and security gets brought up...why is it you can't post something on these boards without it being blown out of proportion???

Is it okay for your in-laws to come to your house and open your door without first knocking? [2007-10-30]
My in-laws did this the other day and I just find it very rude...They do this all the time...we tell them to please call before they come over (just in case the baby is sleeping or we are doing something) but they never listen...anyone else have this problem???

Licenses, inspections, food laws, ads, & all kinds of stuff [2007-10-10]
x

In keeping with the question down below about in-laws... [2007-09-26]
We have all done our best to accept my brothermy mom bought a new (second-hand) car and gave her old car to my brother. She even gave them $500 to buy new tires for the car. Then, when my momnew car turned out to be a lemon and had to be in the shop for a week, my SIL refused to let my mom use HER OWN CAR that she had given them while her new car was in the shop - even though my SIL was NOT working and my brother had a car to go back and forth to work. Yes, I know my brother needs to grow a backbone already, but that kind of set the tone for my SIL's relationship with the whole family. So - what's your in-law story?

The smoking might have to be done outside if the laws there say [2007-09-14]
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The in-laws [2007-09-12]
Hey, I am not sure if they are freaky, or not. I was raised in that church when I was young and switched as an adult. Since Matthew Winklerbad person and I have had exposure to lots of them. I have to wait and see the show. I am very interested in what she has to say. I would also like to see the in-laws go on the show to present their concerns. I think it would help everyone, including the children when they would be old enough to see it. So many times things like this go on with women and men we know and I think it is important to understand any signs to watch for so as to prevent what happened with their family from happening to anyone else. If, however, Mary is really guilty and just wanted a way out (which is a possibility) I believe the children belong with the grandparents and that Mary should relinquish her parental rights. It would be nice too if she would admit if she was truly an abused woman, or not. They can't try her twice.

I have new in-laws (through marriage) who are from Pahrump, NV. Anyone have sm [2007-09-02]
any info on this place? It looks gorgeous. Good place to visit???

Vince Lombardi was my father-in-laws [2007-08-29]
high school football coach in Ridgefield Park, NJ. Forgot to mention this when I started the post. This has been fun. Have a good day everyone.

No matter what laws are made, if women want to get an abortion [2007-03-26]
then they will. I have a couple of abortions prior to a marriage and prior to my 2 children. I have never so called suffered because of my decision, in fact I was young and could not have taken care of any children. I do not regret this decision. Either legal or illegal, makes no difference in a woman making the decision to seak an abortion.

Maybe I should have worded the topic differently, like Demand stricter laws for sex offenders... [2007-02-23]
I am sorry if the wording of the topic offended anyone. I was rushed but wanted to type up something to get the word out about what I had seen on the Oprah show, and that was the first thing I thought of. But the main goal of my post was to get people to demand harsher laws for sex offenders and to make the laws more uniform from state to state so they cannot hide out in states with more lenient laws.

How many of you have a backup plan [2008-11-13]
if your spouse were to lose their job? Assuming the MT rate of pay isn I don We have no backup plan. My in-laws already have their other son (and family of 4) living with them due to job loss. My family lives in another state altogether. I don I just don Should we have some sort of plan in place? Do most people? Our savings has dwindled to nothing this past year with all the increased expenses and we have cut back all we can. There's nothing else to cut other than house/cars/utilities.

Holidays - Bah humbug! [2008-11-11]
I have nice holiday memories. My mom was not the Martha Stewart type but they were filled with lots of food, friends, and family. Very happy times. This will be the first year that I cannot go home for the holidays. We will still spend it with my husband's family but it is not the same for me. I am also stressing about the holidays because his family is all about the presents and I grew up differently. His family says they are cutting back this year but I wonder what that means. To them, it is probably only $500 per person. I know its the thought that counts and you should only do what you can but I still feel bad and guilty if we cannot do for everyone else. I have suggested putting a limit or drawing names or making gifts to exchange but they look at me like I speak a foreign language. This is the first year my husband and I will not exchange gifts for each other and our son won't get much either. To top off the financial crisis facing the entire nation, we are also expecting a child in the very early spring so that has added to our expenses and dipping into our savings. For me this winter came very quickly as well which does not help. I haven't had time to ease into my least favorite season. It's been so gloomy the last few weeks I am glad that I don't have to leave the house to work but know I should leave the house occasionally to feel better. I just want to be a scrooge right now. Soon enough I'll have to put on the happy thanksgiving face to spend the afternoon with my in-laws while missing my family.

Alternate---simplest way to do it - sm [2008-10-29]
When I was first married we lived 20 minutes from my in-laws and 2 hours from my parents. So we would do Thanksgiving at one, then Christmas at the other, then flip that the next year so one did not get us every year for the same holiday. Though if it was Christmas at my parents, we'd spend Christmas Eve day with his parents, have dinner-6pm-, then drive up to my parents house that night, which always ticked me off as when we had Christmas there, I would not see my family until the day after Christmas. His parents would actually get mad at me for driving up to see my family on Dec. 26...thought I should wait a few days or not go at all. Now years later, things have changed some, now 2 hours from in-laws, and 4 hours from my family (mom died, dad remarried so now have her whole family to deal with too). My DH came to hate driving somewhere for the holiday's so every 3 years we stay home, granted don't think we have ever had a Christmas alone, if we stay home his parents and brother come over. We have actually in the 12 years we have been married we have never invited them over, they just tell us they are coming basically. We have said no on occasion of course, but would feel like scrooges if we did that at Christmas. This year we go to my dad's but we are going before Christmas I think, so that will mean probably we either hoof it to his parent's for Christmas or we stay home and they come (which they did last year I think). We are staying put this year for Thanksgiving, as I don't want to go to his parents and it is insane to even contemplate my dad's as my stepmom refuses to not see her family on every holiday....though I did tell them I want them to come here for Thanksgiving, so that ought to be interesting.

No birth control sales, no candy sales, [2008-10-24]
CHANTILLY, Va. � A new drug store at a Virginia strip mall is putting its faith in an unconventional business plan: No candy. No sodas. And no birth control. Divine Mercy Care Pharmacy is among at least seven pharmacies across the nation that are refusing as a matter of faith to sell contraceptives of any kind, even if a person has a prescription. States across the country have been wrestling with the issue of pharmacists who refuse on religious grounds to dispense birth control or morning-after pills, and some have enacted laws requiring drug stores to fill the prescriptions. In Virginia, though, pharmacists can turn away any prescription for any reason. I am grateful to be able to practice, pharmacy manager Robert Semler said, where my conscience will never be violated and my faith does not have to be checked at the door each morning. Semler ran a similar pharmacy before opening the new store, which is not far from Dulles International Airport. The store only sells items that are health-related, including vitamins, skin care products and over-the-counter medications. On Tuesday, the pharmacy celebrated a blessing from Arlington Bishop Paul S. Loverde. While Divine Mercy Care is not affiliated with the Roman Catholic Church, it is guided by church teachings on sexuality, which forbid any form of artificial contraception, including morning-after pills, condoms and birth control pills, a common prescription used by millions of women in the U.S. This pharmacy is a vibrant example of our Holy Father said Loverde, who sprinkled holy water on the shelves stocked with painkillers and acne treatments. It will allow families to shop in an environment where their faith is not compromised. The drug store is the seventh in the country to be certified as not prescribing birth control by Pharmacists for Life International. The anti-abortion group estimates that perhaps hundreds of other pharmacies have similar policies, though they have not been certified. Earlier this year in Wisconsin, a state appeals court upheld sanctions against a pharmacist who refused to dispense birth control pills to a woman and wouldn't transfer her prescription elsewhere. Elsewhere, at least seven states require pharmacies or pharmacists to fill contraceptive prescriptions, according to the National Women's Law Center. Four states explicitly give pharmacists the right to turn away any prescriptions, the group said. The Virginia store's policy has drawn scorn from some abortion rights groups, who have already called for a boycott and collected more than 1,000 signatures protesting the pharmacy. If this emboldens other pharmacies in other parts of the state, it could really affect low-income and rural women in terms of access, said Tarina Keene, executive director of the Virginia chapter of the National Abortion Rights Action League. Robert Laird, executive director of Divine Mercy Care, believes many of the estimated 50,000 Catholics within a few miles of the store will support its mission and make up for the roughly 10 percent of business that contraceptives represent in a typical pharmacy. Whether Catholics will be drawn to the pharmacy is uncertain. According to a Gallup poll published last year for an extensive study of U.S. Catholicism called American Catholics Today, 75 percent of U.S. Catholics said you can still be a good Catholic even if you don't obey church teachings on birth control. Catherine Muskett said she plans to shop at the drug store even though she lives more than 20 miles away. Obviously it said Muskett, one of about 75 people who crowded into the tiny shop for Tuesday's ceremony.___On the Net:http://www.dmcpharm.comhttp://www.naralva.org/instate/pharmacy.shtml

First rule: Know your prices. sm [2008-10-23]
Second rule: Then again, it won't save you any money to drive all around unless you are making substantial purchases. If just one item is a little higher at Wal-Mart or the grocery store where you already are shopping, might as well go ahead and get it then. I shop first at the Dollar Store. Love Top Job and can't always find it anywhere else. Also, those old timey remedies include vinegar, cheapest and proven to kill as many germs as alcohol and bleach. Back in the day, I remember the ladies starting out the wringer washer (yes, I am that old) with the whites, then running those out to the side and reusing the water. I have actually wished a few times I had a wringer washer, especially after a hurricane. Then they started rinsing the clothes using the same water as long as they could for the rest of the stuff. Make a list and stick to it, no impulse buying, take your coupons, maybe include a small cooler or thermal bag in your vehicle especially in the summer. Check out the new lightbulbs, LEDlight that is almost always on. From what I understand, there is no real saving if you just turn it on to get something, then turn it right back off. I had motion detection lights outside, but had to unplug it, too much breeze here on the coast and the trees constantly set them off. Almost choked on that light bill. Some economist on TV was saying to shop the perimeters of the store and avoid the center aisles, this for both money and health reasons. See something really cute and not too expensive at wal-mart? Started telling myself I bet I could get 50cents for that in a garage sale in 6 months. Not doing the impulse buying will save a small fortune; it really adds up. Don't look at the stuff while you are checking out, either. Check out America's Test Kitchen, not long ago they had a program on making your own pizza in 30 minutes. If you have kids, that can save you a fortune, that is about the most expensive thing out there. my grandmother made the most wonderful soup - from a soup bone and leftovers. She never threw away leftover veggies; they went into the freezer in little bags until needed. That is another thing, cut back on the meat and up the veggies. I do splurge on some things. I usually have canned chicken ready for cheater pot pie and frozen pie crusts. All 3 of my daughter-in-laws use that recipe now, great with leftover chicken or turkey, another thing to be frozen when left over. If you do eat out, make it during the day when prices are down. maybe I gave you one or two things anyway. Good luck.

I wish I could do this! [2008-10-23]
My family basically does this. Mom buys all the food and the kids cook (mostly me because I love it). We decided last year that we would not buy gifts. We only exchange gifts that have a meaning to them. We call it Crafty Christmas (or Crappy Christmas as the husbands joke). It can be something that is meaningful from childhood, pictures, something regifted from your house, something funny, or crafty. We actually had a fantastic time last year and everyone voted to do it againt this year. We agreed not to spend more than $10 getting the gift together, but I don't think anything cost more than a couple dollars as most of it was made from household things. Grandma still bought for grandkids under 18 and did stockings but that was it. Now my in-laws insist on making a big thing of Christmas every year. They spend thousands. I suggested it last year as they were planning to retire and letting us know that they had to cut back - but MIL was obviously offended at my suggestion. My husband's brother and family are in no way financially able to provide any gifts this year (they are living with the in-laws) so I'm thinking of proposing the idea to him and his wife for agreement and let the others do what they want. I can't feel bad for not being able to afford gifts for everyone and wanting it to be more about family than presents. I would love to make dinner this year since we are not going to my mom's (she lives out of state) but that's another thing that my MIL doesn't want to give up and obviously didn't care for my brunch a few years ago BUT since we have the only young child in the family I insisted that we have Christmas morning at our own home and my hubs backed me up.

I did the same [2008-10-21]
I banned my in-laws from seeing my children because they were always using racial slurs and demonstrating other prejudices. My FIL would talk down about women. It was awful. I told them if they talked that way in front of the kids that they would never see the kids. When they kept it up, I refused to let them see my kids. You have to do what what you have to do to protect your children.

What is up with these people? [2008-10-21]
My children have no grandparents at all due to this kind of crap. When my mom was alive she stepped over the line all the time. I am no longer speaking to my father (whom I have always adored) because of my oldest daughter and his deciding he could do it better as far as raising her (this from an ex-alcoholic). My X-in-laws tried to take my children away from me when their dad died and would not quit saying bad things about me when they saw them so my kids quit going (of their own accord). My current husbands father has called me and my husband names in front of the kids and his new wife constantly made racial comments, so none of the kids see them anymore either. What happened to just being a grandparent? Someone to spoil the kids and be there for them, not take over as their parent because they felt their own child was not doing a good enough job!!! I so wish I had cut all ties with my father sooner, even though I love him, it would have saved everyone a lot of heartache and maybe my oldest would not be the mess that she is (or at least not as much). It makes me very angry that these people cannot have the same respect for US as parents that they say THEY deserve!!

Where do you think laws come from? [2008-10-16]
Most of man's laws are based on the Bible, the 10 Commandments usually. I am not comparing gay people to criminals. Based on your statement that God expects us to be happy, regardless of what form that happiness might take, I am asking the question that, if it is okay with God for a person to be gay if it makes them happy, is it okay with him for a person to steal, commit adultery or murder if it makes them happy. You changed the context of the subject, not me. And for what it is worth, there are still states in which sodomy is a crime, therefore gay sex is a crime. There is even a state where adultery and fornication are a crime. http://www.sodomy.org/laws/

Okay then.....sm [2008-10-16]
That bright shiny new car in my neighbor's driveway would make me happy. I think I will just go hotwire it and drive away in it. After all, if God wants me to be happy, then it's okay, right? Or maybe that married guy down at the auto part store just really makes my motor run. I think I will just seduce him and have an affair with him and cause his marriage to break up. God said he wants me to be happy, right? My neighbor is building an addition to his house....and he is doing all the work in the middle of the night and I can't sleep for the hammering and sawing. I think I will just go over and kill him and then I will be happy that I can finally sleep. God wants me to be happy, right? WRONG!!! Can you see the flaw in this line of reasoning? God gave us laws by which to live and wants us to follow these laws. If everyone did follow these laws, then everyone would be happy. However, thiefs, adulterers, murderers, and yes, even gays, choose not to follow the laws. Christians sometimes do not follow the laws either, in case you were about to point that out. Until this world/nation gets back to the Bible, no one will truly be happy, and I am sorry to say that I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Right.... [2008-10-16]
Our laws come from legislative bodies, not the bible, no matter what they are based on. Sodomy, specifically, is anal sex. Not all gay sex works that way, particularly for lots of lesbians. This also makes criminals out of LOTS of heterosexuals. Not everyone lives their lives in the cults of the guilt religions. We all have to hear, not your (collectively) opinions, not your beliefs, but what IS or IS NOT right or wrong. It's no wonder people don't want to hear it anymore. Your belief or disbelief in whatever or whomever does not change another person's reality.

Not sure who you're talking to but [2008-10-16]
I never asked you for any scripture and my post above didn't have anything to do with any scripture either, but the statement about sodomy and where our laws come from. I do not believe in sin, so no, I do not believe that homosexuality is a sin. And you're right, there is no convincing me. Ever been dead and seen for yourself? I have. The bible was written by men - again, and again, and again. It has as much credibility.

You can make one yourself at Walmart with their machine (sm) [2008-10-14]
they have them here in North Carolina beside the photo drop-off area. I had someone help with my mother and father in-laws though because I wanted music added. If you are very computer savvy though, you may be able to do it yourself if adding music matters to you.

It certainly is sad for the kids and their parents but - [2008-09-21]
I would much prefer to hear about an 11-year-old or 13-year-old being abandoned under the Safe Haven laws rather than hearing about their mother or father deciding the only way out of a desperate situation was to kill their children and themselves. The children are old enough that they have probably had numerous conversations with their parent(s) about why they are being left and how to find them later (at least I hope so.)

Thanks Anna [2008-09-02]
I am glad they like us and want to spend time here, just not every weekend. I think part of it is that I am pregnant and hormonal. I am also used to having little to no family (especially in-laws) and its just a huge adjustment. Another part is that I donbad guy but I guess sometimes I will have to if I don't want the mess. Husbands don't think of things like wives do. Its unfair of me to expect him to. Third, our son never spends substantial time over there unless we are with him. BUT, next time he is complaining he's bored maybe I'll tell him to call his uncle and see if he can come over. They can return the favor once in a while.

Before the post gets buried below regarding credit - very long message sm [2008-08-24]
I just wanted to share with the posters who were considering bankruptcy. Unless you are on the verge of losing your home, I would strongly encourage you to consider another option. Bankruptcy does not just go away after a few years. It Even if you rebuild your credit afterwards, it A friend and my in-laws also filed bankruptcy in the past. My in-laws filed over 20 years ago and have recovered financially but it My husband is a credit card spender. I would only spend when I had the cash and did not depend on credit. It didn Our spending habits combined nearly led to our financial demise a few years back too. This is what I did and I hope you give it a try and it works for you too. I started with a complete inventory of all of our bills, separating them into three categories. Home (mortgage and utilities) Credit cards - (lowest balance to highest balance regardless of the APR) Miscellaneous bills (entertainment, clothing, food, gas, fast food, etc.) Since the Home category is pretty consistent every month, I set up a budget for that first. I went back through our utility bill for the year prior and chose the highest month bill of the year and added that amount to our mortgage amount. Next, I reviewed our telephone, internet, and television (satellite) bills. On average, I was paying about 230.00 per month for them all combined. Way too much in my opinion. I started shopping around and found a bundle package with Verizon. Now I pay 153.00 per month for unlimited long distance telephone, satellite TV, and DSL service. Saved $77.00 per month, just doing that. Then I added this amount to the mortgage and utilities. This totalled amount is what I know I absolutely have to pay every month and I better make sure it's in the account. Next, I did the Miscellaneous. I I started going over what was spent where and learned that we spent a lot more than we really needed to. I set up a weekly grocery budget and a fun budget. If there was anything extra at the end of the week, it was divided evenly between the two and added to the next week. I do this every week until the end of the month. If there is anything left over, that amount is divided in half again and half is divided again and added to the following week's budget (grocery and fun), the other half is locked away in the savings account. The money for monthly gas was a little trickier when the gas prices skyrocketed. I first had a set limit for gas each week but did have to adjust that. I did manage to adjust it a little bit upwards and still be able to pay the cards down (see below.) Also, every time I spend cash, no matter if the amount is $5.01 and all I need is a penny, I don Instead, I will give them $6.00 and get 0.99 change to put in my giant size espresso cup of change. When the cup gets full, the change is rolled and turned in to the bank as a deposit into the savings account. My cup last gave me $281.00 change to put in the savings account. That was in March. It Nobody touches the cup! They might lose a finger or even a hand! That being said, and having two set amounts for each budget, I then subtracted that amount, plus the Household amount from our combined monthly income. Lastly came the dreaded credit cards. To be honest, I was floored when I learned just how much credit card debt we had. My husband had wracked up over $40,000.00 in credit card debt alone. Since he paid his own credit card bills each month, I had no idea. Even worse than that, he is very inconsistent about paying his bills on time so he had late charges and the interest rates were way the heck up there. It was terrible. I took each of his cards most current statements and started from the lowest to highest balance. The lowest one was about 1200.00 but the interest rate on it by that time was 22%. This is where I started. I had him call the company and basically gave him a script to go by (my name wasn He requested a decrease in his APR on each and every card. Two of the five card companies agreed on the first call. The 22% card was reduced to 11% so they cut it in half. Not as low as I would like but it was a start. Another card was up to 31% and they reduced that to 20%. The other three didn't budge the first time. This is where I made two The first one was MS Money software. I highly recommend it. You can set up your checking, savings accounts, print your checks, balance your checkbook in about 5 minutes, pretty much a no brainer software that really keeps you in line with your bills and spending as long as you remember to faithfully enter any debit card purchase in your check register provided with the software. It will also link to many banks to update your balances online. You can also set it up to remind you for upcoming bills. (Maybe if the husband had used this earlier, we would not have been in this situation?) The second purchase was about $8.00. An accordion file folder for the monthly statements. Husband always threw his away and I cana dumb idea that is. KEEP them. Organize the tabs for each bill and put your statement in when you pay each bill. I also write the date and the amount when I make a payment somewhere on the statement, then keep them in chronological order. The actual payments came next. The smallest balance card was paid off first. All of other cards only got the minimum payment PLUS $1 more. I started doing this just for my own peace of mind I guess but I learned later that this actually helped us a bit when negotiating the lower APRs on the three more stubborn cards. It may have only been $1 extra but it was EXTRA payment and, believe it or not, they do look at that. Excluding the card to be paid off first, I added up the minimum payments of the remaining four cards (plus the extra dollar to each of those) and decided on an amount to pay the lowest balance card to get that balance moving toward 0 as fast as I could. In this case, I decided on 200.00. This left me with a little over 200.00 extra (I call it mad money but it really goes into savings anyway -planning ahead for birthdays, auto insurance, Christmas, and emergencies.) I had that card paid off relatively quickly in a few months. When it was paid off, the card was cancelled and that 200.00 was added to the minimum payment (plus $1) on the next lowest balance card. After the first month of this, once again, had the husband call his credit card company and ask for a reduction in his APR. This time it was granted. Should also mention that this card was one of the three that refused the request the first time. The first six months or so of this wasa mildly painful transition. He was used to whipping out a credit card, I was used to having cash on hand for whatever I wanted. It wasn't going to happen anymore. Finally, I wasdown to the last remaining card (754.00 per month payment by this time, having applied the payments for each card to the next as they were paid off.) When I got to this point, I started shopping around for cards with rewards programs and started comparing those cards. The last card I was paying on also had a rewards program but not quite what I wanted. I wanted to know if the terms were negotiable. It was! How about that! So, instead of losing a valuable customer the card company decided to keep me. Now I get 3% back on purchases of most things as long as I pay the balance in full every month (which I do). Any kind of air or rail travel purchased with the card is a 6% reward. I no longer use a debit card. The husband is not allowed to get a credit card again but instead, takes a certain amount of cash every week. Say what you want but he got us into this mess pretty much so he has to live with it now. It I find that I average about 400.00 per month AFTER the rewards bonuses kick in so essentially I am able to bank another $354.00 per month in savings. It adds up quicker than you might think. Should also mention that we have two teens still at home and they can really be expensive. They were made a part of the plan and do their part to help out too. Their contribution is mostly the avoidance of fast food all the time. They can come home and have a meal or eat before they leave. Things like that. Sorry for the lengthy post but hopefully I can help anyone else get out of a potentially bad financial situation like we faced.

I realize this is a private matter, but [2008-08-24]
is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him. Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him. Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first. Again, I wouldn Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out. If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate. I would not tell this man alone in person. It doesna safe thing to do.

Lowering the legal drinking age from 21 to 18 [2008-08-19]
I didn't know this was going on..... The article is long so I didn't copy all of it. See the link below: College presidents from about 100 of the nation's best-known universities, including Duke, Dartmouth and Ohio State, are calling on lawmakers to consider lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18, saying current laws actually encourage dangerous binge drinking on campus. The movement called the Amethyst Initiative began quietly recruiting presidents more than a year ago to provoke national debate about the drinking age. This is a law that is routinely evaded, said John McCardell, former president of Middlebury College in Vermont who started the organization. It is a law that the people at whom it is directed believe is unjust and unfair and discriminatory.

Good luck is all I can say...... [2008-08-19]
We don otherwise, they don't do their job. My mother has watched neighbors get one dog after the other, the puppies are leashed and literally die before her eyes of parvo. She repeatedly calls animal control, which are the police, and they don't do a thing. The dogs eventually die a miserable death and nothing is done to the owners at all. My brother finally flat out told one of her neighbors he would take a little mommy dog who had already had puppies after puppies and was starving to death. In 110 degree heat she doesn't even get water except from him who sneaks her some. They handed her over but she was already ate up with heartworms and died shortly thereafter. Our animal control is a joke...they won't even go into the yard to check out the animals. They say they can't.....so what the heck are they there for? I just hope yours runs things better than ours...find out the laws in your state and be prepared to push those laws if you see nothing is being done. Good luck!!!!!

I know it's still a ways off but what do you do? [2008-08-12]
My husband informed me he will be gone Thanksgiving this year for deer hunting. It will just be my 7-year-old son and I. My parents live 4 hours a way and won Anyone else out there go through this? What do you do? For those that don I've always wanted a huge family especially for occasions like this!!

You're aunt is bully, plain and simple and I would just stop visiting. [2008-08-04]
but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things. I think it :) My mother constantly tells me I My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid. Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy. That's why I'm so soft. I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS. She can give me advice and IONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary. Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER! My mom and I get along pretty good now. I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves. I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.

Your observations are right on [2008-07-25]
I think she has not fully researched getting help for people with disabilities. I guess I kept saying retarded because is shorter than writing out mental retardation. Thatspecial or slow, but to me itmental retardation. Forget exactly what percentage capacity they diagnosed him at but that was what it was. As for why they would bring a 2 year old or any other child into this situation is beyond my comprehension, and beyond my father's, my aunt's, my cousin's, my friends's, her friends, my in-laws, etc. I never said anything to her before they adopted because my aunt and a lot of her friends would give her their opinions about how they didn't think it's a good idea when they are always having trouble (sometimes financially but most of the time with the nephew), but sis would call me in tears after they would openly tell her what their viewpoints were and she would be crying because its all she's ever wanted was to have another child, and how all her freinds at church have at least 4 and 5 kids, etc, etc). I would tell her that I cannot advise her because I am not in her situation financially or dealing with the nephew, but told her that with me being 49 years old I would not do it. I just told her for me I am too old and couldn't take having a kid around me all the time. I think sis has some emotional problems herself. She feels that having a young kid around will keep her and her husband young. They love doing things all the time (I don't think they could stand to be home in their house for a whole day without going out). They always have to be out doing something (I'm 100% opposite - I never want to leave my house). Anyway...there's a lot they can't afford and they should have never adopted in the first place but that is my opinion. I only told my dad that once and he agreed with me totally but said you can't tell her anything and she gets defensive. So to answer the last part - they weren't thinking. My aunt has called me several times and always says that. Mom died 4 years ago. I think if she was alive she would have talked to sis and given her some feedback. Well right now I'm seeing if I can find any type of centers back there that help people with nephews problems and his condition. If it was me I would say ditch the nephew and keep the niece. HA HA. Nephew keeps saying how he wants to live on his own, but sis says he has also said that is so he can walk around naked all day, watch cartoons, eat and play with his power rangers without anyone telling him to do anything. All I say is I'm glad I'm not in their shoes. I like my peaceful environment and I know what my limits are both with people and financial. They just go on a day by day whatever happens happens way of life.

Do your homework on debt collection (sm) [2008-07-22]
laws also - you just may have yourself a $1000 piece of paper in your hand. Have you requested validation of this debt? If not, I would do that right away. Send it certified mail, return receipt requested. Depending on the age of the debt, I would be very careful about sending the canned do not contact me letter. If the debt is not that old, that can sometimes trigger them to sue. I bet if you send the please provide me with full validation (not verification that you have my name, address and soc. sec#) of this alleged debt. Short and sweet.

This happened to me [2008-07-16]
I kept threatening my mom that I would move out if she didnthreat believing that you will back down and let her do what she wants if she threatens you with leaving. My momYou want to leave so bad? You think you have it horrible here and I. When I knew she wouldnHehang out. Heparty where there were no adults. He was drunk and the police were called in because there was underage drinking.

Daughter [2008-07-16]
First and foremost you must tell your husband and the two of you have to deal with this together as a team. Use him for the strength you lack. Also, ALL of her privileges should be revoked immediately. If she threatens to leave, let her go but let her know you will have her declared a runaway and she could be put in juvenile hall. Check the laws in your state. It Not by a long shot and you certainly can I would have her tested for STD Get a plan with your husband and stick to it. I wish you all the best. Pray, pray, pray.