What sort of response did you get

Sort of. sm [2008-06-16]
I had root canals on my front teeth and could never get the money to have them capped. On a Sat night before I was to start a new job the following Monday, I bit into a BLT and a front tooth shattered into pieces. A dentist saw me on Sunday emergently and was able to built it back up - I certainly was not going to start a new job missing a front tooth. Good luck.

What sort of response did you get? [2008-05-08]
.

yes because if there is some sort of misunderstanding/misprint you may be [2008-04-24]
you don't really want this hanging over your head, do you?

Wow, surprisingly rude response... [2008-04-09]
The original thread was locked for a reason. The discussion was no longer beneficial. There is no need to create a new thread. If the two of you would like to communicate, why not E-mail each other privately? Moderator

Going through same thing, really hope we get a response. nm [2008-04-09]
!

Thank you for your supportive response [2008-04-08]
I am still wondering what to do. After talking with some of his friends he posted something like this about 2 months ago. He has an appiontment tomorrw with a pyschiatrist. He doesn't know about it, I plan on just checking him out of school. Maybe this is wrong but at the age of 19 I swallowed a bottle of pills. My best friend was the only one that suspected I might do this and she showed up at my house totally unannounced. Now as a mother I think about the pain that mother would have felt because had my friend not shown up my mother would have found me. I can't just sit back and watch. If this were drugs or cutting we would all step up and take action immediately.

This is in response to Puffing Away SM [2008-04-08]
***Edited by Moderator*** Please do not respond to locked threads.

What a great response!! [2008-04-05]
I would also like to add that when people stop smoking and drinking, does the OP realize that she will start paying the taxes that us sinners pay now for cigarettes and booze? Most people donand when and if it happens, I would love to see her response then. Start saving your money....you might get your wish!!

I sort of agree, but generally those kind of men don't [2008-04-02]
nm

once again OWNERS, if only we could ask the cats, I think the response would be different, NM [2008-03-11]
z

Sheri Steadman's response [2008-03-04]
MTSTARS.COM DOMAIN NAME HAS BEEN HIJACKED! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Posted By: Sheri Steadman Administrator (see details inside) On: 2008-02-27 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NOTICE The mtstars.com domain name has been hijacked, so this website will probably go down and then come back up with old information (not current posts). We are setting up at mtstars.net and taking legal action to regain the mtstars.com domain. Please do not post at this site further as the domain has been taken over by an offshore entity. Thank you for your loyalty over the years, but know that we are not gone. We plan to have mtstars.net up and running very soon ...

What can anyone say in response to that? (sm) [2008-02-25]
I read it and just thought wow. I hope she makes it back safely. Your brother sounds like he is just trying to hold his family together while she goes through her crisis or whatever it is. I know someone who is behaving similarly to this and I don't understand. She is obviously being extremely risky in doing this. It's just crazy. I'm sorry your brother and his children are going through this.

The only thing that prompts a response from you is...sm [2008-02-20]
Your own density.

The recipe is a secret - sort of! [2008-02-08]
It's funny. I can make the cole slaw, but there's not really a recipe. And the sour cream, mayo thing was not her usual. She was probably trying to stretch out the mayo. That's my cousin's house, and his mom never had enough mayo on hand! LOL The same with the wine vinegar. Grandmom made sort of a face over it. She used plain white vinegar at her house. The cabbage was always sliced paper thin, by hand. Then onion was grated on one of those plane graters, so that the onion turned pretty much into juice. Then added a splash of vinegar, salt and pepper and stirred it up. Then, in a coffee mug, she sprinkled a bit of sugar on the bottom of the cup, filled it about halfway with mayo, and then thinned that with whole milk or cream until it was the consistency of salad dressing. Then mixed it all together. And not wanting to waste a drop, she always took some of the cabbage, put it into the mug and tried to clean out every drop of the dressing. One coffee mug of this concoction was enough for half a head of cabbage. Her cole slaw leaned more to the sour side with vinegar. It wasn't a sweet cole slaw, at all. She added grated carrots on special occasions, like T-giving, which is when the video was taken. She was barely 5-feet tall, and shrunk to well under that as she got older. My mother was her firstborn child, and weighed nearly 10 pounds and breech, born at home. Amazing. My Grandmom was one strong lady!

typical male response [2008-01-31]
X

The Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. They are mysteries of a sort... [2008-01-30]
but rather light in that regard. They are hilarious and very character driven.

She'd like to learn something new to cook. There was a negative response to her inquiry [2008-01-18]
and I just wanted to smooth it over and give out a pretty good recipe. Igrowing my own veggies, fruits,canning and freezing food. WePlease try to be nice. Cat

Wow, your experience sounds sort of like mine. [2008-01-04]
legs. Horrible cramps. Huge clots and bled for at least 10 days each month. PMS for two weeks prior to that - so what Maybe one good week each month, but I got so tired of telling the doctor. She kept saying we have to try all of this other stuff first. So, fine, I tried the pills, the DC, and this time she said ablation, and I said nope, I want a hysterectomy. So, that was that. I Hopefully, though this is the ticket; finally! Home free!

What a compassionate response [2008-01-03]
Dogs are social pack animals who DO need ''roommates'' and companionship. How very sad for a dog to have such an insensitive owner, so lacking in compassion, she would put an animal in a cage (and that is exactly what a ''crate'' is -- no matter how much it costs).

What a nice response by a nice mom [2007-12-29]
What a gracious, well-adjusted response to a rude, obviously maladjusted poster--Hard to imagine someone with such an empty life and such a petty spirit that they would take the time to post criticism about a kid's feet! (Some people really have major issues, LOL!)

My husband got ours as sort of an early birthday present for me [2007-12-27]
back at the end of July. My birthday isn't until the middle of September, but he happened to stop at Target on his way to work one day and they had just gotten about 9 or 10 Wii systems in, so he got it then as I had told him that was what I really wanted for my birthday, and he knew that we probably wouldn't be able to find them when it got closer to my birthday. He is just as hooked as I am on it! He has bought himself a ton of games, and I have bought a ton for me too! He likes the war-type/shooting games, and I like the Mario type of games, so I bought every game that had Mario in it and reserved every one that is coming out for the Wii! LOL! Right now, I am playing Mario Galaxy and am totally addicted! I find myself taking breaks during work to get my quick Wii fix! LOL!

Wow sharp response, sorry I asked but others have been great! [2007-12-21]
No, what you have here is a fully experienced professional with wanting to accept a job offer before Christmas so his family can relax a bit since there are none in his chosen field around here. Add to that a mother-in-law who is worried but afraid to step on toes to help,ie., me, that's all it is. The rest is because it's a new company with a great new product which went from mail order sales and Internet sales to deserving a salesman showing up in person with samples which are very heavy and cumbersome (building field), so don't judge me, please. And don't judge him or anyone else, like everyone else here, we're all in the same lifeboat, just asking for support. We all get there sometimes, sorry I bothered your pretty little head with such nonsense (in your mind). Others E-mailed me with other great suggestions. God Bless You for such a Merry Christmas Response. Wow - kick 'em when they're down! Congratulations!

I am going to flame your response [2007-12-19]
for the part about not spanking. I am retirement age, my husband a few years younger and I just had this talk with an older relative on Monday. She was actually talking about her ex-DIL because she said her g'child needed to be spanked for totally out of control. My relative said if a person spanked or whipped they turn out to be abusers. I told her I do not fit that profile, neither my husband and that is exactly why the world is like it is going now. When I was growing up you didn’t have knives in the schools, guns on the streets, kids out of control and just wrecking things to wreck- people best get a clue and find out where they are going wrong before the kids completely take over.

Did you read my response to this very question below? [2007-12-06]
That might help explain the reasoning behind it.

Gift for receptionist answers - no more response needed sm [2007-12-04]
Thanks for the response(s). I just wanted to give her something special. She is a receptionist at a medical office I go to and I am not familiar with her culture. I have decided on something such as a candle, etc., I would like to have given her something very special as she is such a nice person and has simple tastes. My DIL is of Arab descent and she is also the nicest person you would ever want to meet in your life and I know she appreciates certain ethnic gifts. I don't think we should judge people by their country of origin but try our darndest to please them by giving them a personal gift they can use. That was my reason for posting. I don't like to insult other ethnicities because we are, of course, all in the same lifeboat. My DIL does her darndest to give me certain gifts I hold dear, even though she would never have use for them herself. That's what the message of Christmas is to me, acceptance of each other as we are and peace on earth, good will toward all. No more responses needed, thanks.

Most beaches have bicycles [2008-07-03]
for the sand. They are seated like a go kart, sort of, and you lean back/recline, steer with your hands on levers at the side, and pedal out in front of you (like a pedal boat, for lack of a better comparison). I've always meant to rent one. It looks like major fun to me!

This one has struck a chord with me. [2008-07-03]
I have been an assistant scoutmaster for 8 years now. Yes, I am a mom, and there are women scout leaders out there! My job with our troop was Webelos-to-Scout Transition Coordinator. My job was to help our youngest boys and their families become part of our troop and to make sure that the boys have fun and get all that they can from the scout experience. Summer camp was always the make or break time for the youngest boys. You didn't say if your son is a new scout, but I assume this is his first time at summer camp. Homesickness and living in the outdoors are always the biggest hurdles during the first summer camp. You are not over-reacting because your son is having a bad time. That's a simple fact, and he deserves to have those feelings validated and addressed. Since I'm female, I tend to approach the first-time scout's misery in a different way, and over the years, a lot of men have disagreed with my methods. But, they work. Men seem to like the stick-it-out approach, and I've seen some of the worst leaders actually tease and belittle homesick boys or boys who don't take easily to the outdoor experience. That really finishes off the boy for scouting. He quits. Do you think that is what is happening with your son? At summer camp with our first year scouts, I always listen to them, validate their fears, and then try to help them overcome their fears with knowledge. If spiders or animals scare them, we go to the nature lodge and find out all about them. We do a good cleaning of their tents or lean-toWell, it I and my fellow adult leaders have spent a lot of nights sitting around picnic tables talking to scouts, sometimes making a game of listening for owls or watching spiders crawl across the table in the lantern light. And if boys do call home, I would run like crazy to the camp phone to call the parents first to let them know what was going on and to tell them to expect a call from their son. In that way, parents were prepared, and we could coordinate our efforts to help their son. Basically, it just takes some compassion. The hard core approach doesn't work. Why do I go through all the trouble? Because I know the value of the scouting program. When it's done well, it goes a long way to help parents raise up honorable men. In our troop, our scouts learn to be compassionate, because we've modeled that sort of behavior for them. They learn about living in the outdoors, and learn to take care of themselves and others. That gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel capable. They learn problem-solving skills and teamwork. These are all important life skills, and when scouting is done well, boys who come through are lightyears ahead of most of their non-scout peers by the time they are 18. But that only happens when it's done right. There are great troops and adult volunteers in the BSA, but there are unfortunately some real losers, as well. It's true that scouting is not for everyone, but there is no reason for so many boys to be pushed away because of issues that just need a little careful thought and attention. This is one of my most passionate issues with scouting. Even the BSA knows that the first year scout is the most likely to quit, and they spend a lot of money and time training volunteers on this subject. It seems that some adults don't learn as quickly as others, though. And there is a core of leaders who like to remember what it was like when they were boy scouts, and won't move ahead or adapt their techniques for the boy of today's times. A new 11-year-old scout should not be expected to act like a man and tough it out. He's still a boy, and living in the woods is usually a totally new experience for him. MOST boys are scared at first, but the men and other boys hate to admit it. A new scout just needs some patience, understanding and time to mature. He needs to feel safe even when he's struggling, and he needs to know that he is supported. I don't know all the details of your son's experience, but if you think that what I've said might apply to him, you might consider looking for another troop, one that will provide him with a good, supportive program. Not all scout troops are the same. Each has a different personality, so perhaps another troop would suit your son better. If that's not possible, or if at this point he is completely turned off by scouting, there are certainly other activities out there that can teach him the things that are learned through scouting. Encourage him to find out what his talents are and help him to explore all of the possibilities that life has to offer. I'm so sorry to hear that your son is not enjoying scouts. It really breaks my heart when I hear such stories, because I know that the adult volunteers could handle the situation better. My own sons had a hard time the first time they went to camp, which is why I got involved. I knew there was a better way to deal with such a common problem. My oldest, who is now 20, still works with scouts, and my youngest will receive his Eagle Scout rank in just a couple of weeks. I have seen many, many boys' lives changed for the better by the scouting program, including my own sons. I hope that your son can also have a great experience in scouting. I'm always happy to talk about scouting, and if you'd like to send me a private message, I'd be glad to share more of my thoughts on the subject.

I don't mind at all that you sent my email along. [2008-07-03]
There is plenty of training material available to scout leaders on the transition period and how to help the boys stay in scouting. There are videos, training sessions run by people like me, written material, etc. It's out there. It's just hard to get it through some of the leaders' brains that the boys need to be treated like boys in transition, and not like army recruits. I really applaud you for being willing to go out on the trips with the troop. That is also a hard thing to do with so many men around. I looked very carefully when my boys were crossing over to scout troops. We are fortunate in our area to have many troops to choose from. We found a great troop headed by mostly even-thinking adults who had no problem with a woman joining them. It's not perfect, and every now and then, some sexist fool says or does something stupid, but nothing is ever insurmountable in that regard. Know that having women leaders is a unit option, which means that the chartering organization can decide that no girls are allowed, so to speak. This is sometimes done for religious reasons. Other times it's just sort of a tacit tradition. I didn't have to overcome that issue, and in fact, when it was discovered that I had been camping all my life and was an avid solo backpacker, I got the job of teaching the boys about backpacking, too. Our troop welcomed all volunteers who were willing to be trained and who could commit to helping the boys. I do hope it works out for your son. If you do join as a leader, be sure that you take advantage of all the training opportunities available to you. Your troop should have a training coordinator or advancement chair who knows when training is offered. (By the way, are the adult leaders of this troop fully trained? That's VERY important.) As a GSUSA leader, you should understand the value of training. The Girl Scouts really do a great job of requiring leaders to be trained. BSA councils and districts, however, sometimes vary on how strict they are on training requirements. Don't be afraid to help out. You're doing this for your son, and that really is a great motivator. And what's really cool is that most of us start out wanting to help our own sons, but in the process we help so many other boys and parents along the way. Good luck!

I'm sorry you lost a friend sm [2008-07-02]
Maybe in the midst of my anger, I I'm really sorry you went through what you went through. My whole point is not about money, even though it may seem that way. I think there should be some sort of penalty when a dog bites someone, especially an 8-year-old child. In our case, there has been absolutely no penalty, and the dog has been out without a leash since the attack. The owners even tried to blame our daughter for the bite. They said the dog thought she had some food in her hand or that she was standing next to the dog She was standing in front of their house. The dog tried biting my daughter They I will advise our attorney that we will be willing to settle with them because we don I have never sued anyone and never expected I would ever sue anyone. While I have sympathy in your case, I don If we did nothing, this could happen again to someone else

Dogs, fireworks, and... peppermint oil? sm [2008-07-02]
One of my dogs has a little bit of a problem with loud noises such as fireworksandthunderstorms. He doesnbut I happened toread an article about how using peppermint oil on the dogreally calm them,so I Ithas to be real peppermint oil (not the kind found in the grocery store in the baking section), so I went to a local health food store and bought a bottle. You put the oil on a cotton pad, then put some on each of the dog I did a Google search and found a lot of comments from people saying it worked for their dog. (Just type in Below isanother article I found while searching around. I know a lot of pets end up freaking out and getting lostthis time of year, poor things, so be sure you have an up-to-date ID tag on your pets, even if they will be inside the house. Dogs Fireworks Don't Mix! Every year on the Fourth of July America's skies are bright with fireworks, sparklers and Roman candles as we celebrate Independence Day. Bangs, explosions and bright lights are accompanied by screams, sirens and howling dogs throughout the country. Dogs do not like fireworks. Fact. Every year dogs along with many other animals experience fear and confusion, sometimes alone when their owners are away enjoying an organized event. It is not unusual for dogs to run away from home after being frightened by fireworks. Another problem for dogs is the fact that fireworks seem to be going off for a few days leading up to July 4th as well so there is no way of knowing exactly when your dog might be subjected to a loud bang. Below are some suggestions to help ensure that your pets can get through the fireworks unscathed. It is a good idea to bring any outdoor pets inside during the fireworks.Always remember how acute a dog's sense of hearing is. A loud bang to us can feel like a volcano erupting to a dog. It may be hard, but try and stay with your dog during the fireworks. Your presence will help to calm your dog and while the noise may still frighten them, they will feel better and recover much faster with you there. Always make sure your dog has his or her own special area where they can go to feel safe. Be it an indoor kennel or a place under the stairs, dogs love to have a den at their disposal. It sounds obvious, but try to keep the windows and curtains closed during the fireworks display as this will lessen the effect of the noise and bright flashes. Also, normal household noises such as the TV or music can help to distract from the loud noises coming from outside. Last but certainly not least, always ensure your pet has some sort of identification on him or her. It is a sad fact but many dogs do run away from home because of fireworks.Even dogs that have previously shown no fear of fireworks can occasionally take flight at the loud noises and flashes in the sky. Be prepared, your dog has never heard of Independence Day or The Fourth of July and he doesnHe needs your help to make it through the day.

If it was really significant, I would [2008-07-01]
think the final cost would be more than $800. My niece was mauled by a dog and spent about a week in the hospital. She was 4 years old at the time. It was the saddest thing seeing her in that hospital bed with her whole head swollen up. The dog bite ripped out a couple of her still-forming permanent teeth and she ended up with quite a nasty scar along one cheek. Most of the stitches were in her scalp. My sister and her husband had to sue the homeowner It took quite a while to sort it all out. They ended up with a settlement that would after 15 years of very modest growth pay for her college and also any future medical bills. She has had revision of that scar on her face, but she is 19 years old now and still hasn She ismissing bone where theimplants need to go and so will need grafting to be able to accomplish it. She was not emotionally scarred forever by the incident. She is fine, and it didn Just keep loving your daughter and shebe back to her old self. Money won Try not to let your anger overtake you. I know they are responsible, but there is no need to try and take them for as much as you can. You could conceivably ruin their future. Accidents happen. What exactly were the circumstances surrounding the bite?

If it was really significant, I would [2008-07-01]
think the final cost would be more than $800. My niece was mauled by a dog and spent about a week in the hospital. She was 4 years old at the time. It was the saddest thing seeing her in that hospital bed with her whole head swollen up. The dog bite ripped out a couple of her still-forming permanent teeth and she ended up with quite a nasty scar along one cheek. Most of the stitches were in her scalp. My sister and her husband had to sue the homeowner It took quite a while to sort it all out. They ended up with a settlement that would after 15 years of very modest growth pay for her college and also any future medical bills. She has had revision of that scar on her face, but she is 19 years old now and still hasn She ismissing bone where theimplants need to go and so will need grafting to be able to accomplish it. She was not emotionally scarred forever by the incident. She is fine, and it didn Just keep loving your daughter and shebe back to her old self. Money won Try not to let your anger overtake you. I know they are responsible, but there is no need to try and take them for as much as you can. You could conceivably ruin their future. Accidents happen. What exactly were the circumstances surrounding the bite?

been there [2008-06-30]
It is very scary and hard to know how to deal with these situations when they are basically really good kids - good grades, caring, thoughtful, involved in clubs, etc. . One thing I did with my daughter was told her straight out if I ever found out she had been drinking and driving, her car would be gone - not for a week or two either, at least 6 months and probably longer. . Also, if I found out she was riding with someone who had been drinking, she would be severely grounded. . There was ALWAYS the option to call for a ride home with no questions asked. .These things never happened as far as I know - I did find out, later, about a time or two when alcohol was consumed and she stayed all night at a friendhappy there is danger in that too - as her response/judgment in certain situations may be off. . It seems that you have good communication with her and you definitely want to keep that going. . It is a fine line - you want them to know what you do not approve of, yet want them to be open and honest and talk to you. . Hang in there, it will get better.

No. You most certainly are not. Read on & put away the tissues.. [2008-06-29]
That post was sent by a bonafide TROLL. SOURCE: Wikipedia. An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial and usually irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the intention of baiting other users into an EMOTIONAL response, or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion. INSANITY AT ITS BEST:

Identity theft -- never thought it could [2008-06-26]
Yesterday, I got a call from QVC. I had ordered a GPS system for my hubby and QVC called to say they were unable to complete processing of my order because my credit card wouldn QVC said the address I gave them as the billing address did not match the billing address of my credit card. I asked the rep to hold on while I pulled my credit card account up on line. When I did, I saw that my address and phone number had been changed to somewhere in TX (I live in PA). I told QVC I would have to call them back. I immediately called the credit card company. They pulled up my account and said that yes my address had been changed just a few days ago. When I asked how, they couldn They did not know if it was done on-line or by telephone. This, I don If someone called in to change it, shouldn Furthermore, if it was changed on-line, wouldn At any rate, it was changed, and my cc company tried to contact me to verify it by calling the new phone number given. (Makes no sense). Having received no answer, they sent a letter to me, which I have yet to get. One day after changing my address, someone made a $10 on-line purchase with cc account, which went through. Immediately following that, a $4500 on-line purchase was attempted to be put through. This one the cc company did not allow (thank God for small miracles). After having all of this explained to me, I was then transferred to an Identity Theft Specialist, who would help me close this account and reopen another one as well as put into action security alerts for me. For the next 7 years, my credit report will be flagged as a fraud alert, meaning that if anyone tries to open a new account in my name, the lender will have go through extensive verification to confirm it I I also had to file a report with my local police, which I doubt will accomplish anything. Local police are not trained in the same manner as state police, and I don We will see. I did, however, write down the address and the phone number that my account was changed to. My husband called the number last night from his cell phone and no one answered. He left a message stating he was looking for my name and to please return his call to his number. They immediately called back, but when my husband answered, they said nothing. They called back again later that night and did the same thing. Here I told her that apparently I was a victim of identity theft. She said that I said what do you mean and she proceeds to tell me that there have been a lot of account takeovers with this particular company and that it was determined to be an inside job. This left me feeling less than secure about setting up a new account with that company. It also makes me wonder if that My husband says as soon as the new account is set up, we Fortunately, this cc company has 0% identity theft liability, so we will not be responsible for the charges that did go through. However, the bigger concern here is that this person obviously has enough personal information about me to set up new accounts without my knowledge; hence, the reason for the fraud alerts on my credit report. I am so furious, if I ever get my hands on this person, I My husband and I have worked hard all our lives to have good credit and some skuzbucket thinks he can just come along and take it. I don I intend to pursue this fully. If it is an inside job, I will make sure that this credit card company does something about its current employee background checks. So, take a minute today and call your credit companies or go on-line and check to make sure that noone has changed your address and phone number.

I wonder if [2008-06-25]
it's a flora imbalance connected with a fungus. Turns out sinuses can be infected with fungus, and I would think a change in hormones might change your pH and cause it to go out of whack. If you're in that much pain, have you tried Afrin? It's the sort of nasal spray you want to use very carefully because after using it 3 days in a row you can get hooked, but if you use it sparingly it might be just the trick. My mom's doctor told her to use it when she flies to avoid the post-flight sinus trouble she gets.

No helmet, not even her jacket....sm [2008-06-23]
and it is a little cool out tonight. I I know she would never do anything to harm her, but WHAT IF.....You just never know when an accident can happen, so why risk it? My daughter doesn Thank you for you response. And you do not sound grim - you are just telling the truth - that is exactly what was going through my mind. I will have to let her know I

snakes in the house [2008-06-22]
I will tell you how its done, but you should be very very careful doing this because just when you think its a tiny harmless garden snake you could be very wrong! I don't know exactly how long you are talking about, but you need to find some sort of stick, maybe handle of a duster or something of that sort. It should be the appropriate length so that if you were to grab the snake by the tip of its tail with one hand (non-dominant) you could support the snake (again depending on the length, you dont want it right behind its head but a little farther down the back)as far away from your body as possible while you carry it out. If the snake ever wiggles off of the end of the stick thats okay, just dont drop its tail because you will have to go through catching it again. Hope that helps! Just think Steve Erwin while your doing it!

thank you [2008-06-22]
Thank you both for your response. We do have good family and friends, as well as church support, and a great medical team. I guess I I have heard of some who have survived this and some who only lived a short time. Guess time will tell. Thanks again for responding.

Neither. Not seen dad in the 21st Century, but did see mom to meet my stepfather. sm [2008-06-18]
They were very young when I was born, only 16 and 19. I have a younger brother who is gay and they have both pushed him away too, though mom a bit less. They were very controlling, highly critical and verbally abusive. The only thing I regret about the lack of relationship is that they managed to drive a wedge between my brother and I. I would thrilled to see him and build a new, grown up relationship, but they have made that impossible. And for the record...I didn't see either of my parents for about 10 yrs and then decided to try again in my late 30s and early 40s. It proved fruitless. They were more angry, more belittling and just as abusive as ever. I tried, but then again I have changed and I no longer need that sort of negativity in my life.

Showers for 2nd marriages [2008-06-18]
My cousin called and asked opinion on wedding showers. Her daughter is marrying for second time and she doesn't know if it is proper to have another shower. She has her own home and has everything she needs. This is the first wedding for future groom. We had same discussion when my son married for second time. His future wife had also been previously married and they both live together and have everything. She went and registered at several places. Her response was she didn't need anything but sure wanted things. Isn't that a bit greedy? Any opionions? Same with second and third baby showers. When I grew up you got one for the first and that was it. If a huge gap between babies maybe a small second one but not one for every baby.

I have the same problem and asked the moderator [2008-06-13]
yesterday on the main board but got no response.

If you would like to further educate yourself on this issue [2008-06-12]
INTERESTING ARTICLE I realize this is very long, but as an expert in this field, I want to re-post information I sent, in September, to another blogger concerned about the Best Friends summit. I want to emphasize that the following information is based on years of dedicated research, and decades of dog training experience. I do not simply pass along information I've heard or read somewhere...which is sadly what most people, on all sides of dog-related issues, do. I recognize that some of your readers may find parts of it quite controversial. That's okay. Facts are facts, even if they conflict with some other [expert's] unresearched opinions. As such, I've opted to leave those sections in, because they're vital in refuting unfounded notions about dogs, canine genetics, and dog behaviour, which lead to myths about canine aggression. Any individual point of controversy should not take away from the overall message of fact and reason that does not support the view that any entire dog breed could be considered dangerous. Only once people stop repeating inaccurate information (no matter how good it may sound), will we ever hope to get to the heart of this issue, and start reducing the number of unprovoked dog bites. The following was written off the top of my head, in response to concerns about the Best Friends' agenda. It is not a composed article meant for publication. Please also keep in mind, it has a decidedly Canadian perspective, although there is ample U.S. data referenced. This is what I wrote (with a few minor clarifications): Dear (blogger), As you know, I am an expert in Canadian dog bite statistics. After years of research, there are a number of interesting facts I right here, in one place. The situation with unprovoked dog bites is not what nearly everyone believes it to be. If I had one pet peeve, it is that most people merely repeat things they’ve heard or read. They don’t really know if what they’re saying is true or not. They merely “believe” those things to be true, and that’s enough for them, I guess. You know what I say, “No matter how often or loudly a myth is repeated, it is still just a myth.” Some people simply like agreeing with others. Some like to pretend they’re especially knowledgeable or have unique insight. Whatever the source for so many of these myths, years of research has proven the majority of beliefs I encounter about dogs are simply untrue. Whenever discussing the issue of dangerous dogs, it's always important to remember a few key points about the dog bite statistics (especially as they pertain to Canada): 1. The most dangerous breeds in Canada are, in order: German Shepherd, Cocker Spaniel, Rottweiler, and Golden Retriever. Why do I say this? Well, this is not dog bite data, but rather dog attack data based on the reporting information from the Canadian Hospital Injury Reporting and Prevention Program (CHIRPP). The CHIRPP members (hospitals, and reporting physicians and nurses) have no reason to lie about the information they receive, surrounding the breed of dog that has attacked. Why do I say the most dangerous? Well, because the CHIRPP data only applies to the most severe dog attacks (i.e. those injuries serious enough to require treatment in hospital). These are not little nips that can be treated with ice or even a band aid. These are severe dog bite injuries that need to be treated in hospital. The dogs that cause the most serious injuries in Canada belong to the above-mentioned breeds, more than any others. Unlike municipal dog bite data (where any bite, no matter how inconsequential, or even against other animals, is counted), the CHIRPP data only relates to the most serious dog attacks against human victims. 2. 'Pit bulls' are rarely in the #1 spot in dog bite statistics. Any measures to restrict or ban the #2, #5, or #37 'breed' of dog in the dog bite statistics, but not #1, is pure hypocrisy. As faulty as the logic may be, if you're going to ban or restrict a type of dog in an attempt to reduce the number of dog bites, then it must be the ones who bite the most and/or cause the most serious injuries. Either way, that 'breed' is not 'pit bulls'. 3. There hasn't been one confirmed death of a child attributed to an unprovoked attack by a 'pit bull' in Canadian history. (There has been one unconfirmed death.) 4. The very first human fatality attributed to an unprovoked attack by a 'pit bull' in Canadian history occurred in May of 2006. Until then, every insinuation or claim about Canadians being in danger of being killed in unprovoked attacks by 'pit bulls' was totally unfounded. (In the Ontario case in May, the dog was actually only part 'pit bull'. It was a Labrador Retriever/'pit bull' cross, and the dog's owner was the victim.) (It should be noted that there have been at least two human fatalities in Canada attributed to unprovoked attacks by Labrador Retriever crosses, yet this was the first for a 'pit bull' cross.) 5. Municipal dog bite statistics often combine reported dog bite data against both humans and other animals. While I don’t have any problems with doing so, those citing combined statistics must be aware that the majority of the dog bite reports aren’t against people. To imply otherwise is, at best, misleading and, at worst, dishonest. For example: Toronto has arguably the largest municipal ‘pit bull’ population in Canada. In 2004, 12 of the city’s estimated 30,000+ ‘pit bulls’ had been reported for biting. (That’s about 0.04% of the population, by the way; leaving 99.96% of Toronto’s ‘pit bulls’ completely innocent of such allegations.) However, the majority of those reported bites were against other animals. Only 2 of the 12 could even begin to be called “attacks” against humans. So, when 2 out of at least 30,000 dogs of a loosely-defined type are involved in attacks in an entire year, is that really justification for not just trying to ban or restrict them, but for making sweeping generalizations about all the rest? 6. No matter what dog ‘breed’ tops the dog bite statistics, the vast majority of bites are still attributed to other breeds. To better help people understand the absurdity of a breed-based approach to dog bite prevention, let’s imagine that ‘pit bulls’ are responsible for a virtually unheard of 10% of bites in some Canadian city. That still leaves 90% of biting dogs unaffected by any breed-based approach. This is the primary reason why breed bans have been such a colossal failure wherever they’ve been tried. The majority of biting and attacking dogs are not affected, so their owners are free to continue to behave negligently. 7. All dogs can bite. There is no such thing as a breed of dog that has never bitten, never attacked, never maimed, or never killed (a person or other animal). 8. It is the size of the victim, not the dog, which best predicts severity of injury in an attack. While even the very smallest dog breeds have killed humans, the very largest dog breeds are rarely involved in attacks. 9. Adults are rarely seriously injured by dogs of any size, while children are the most common dog bite victims. Their attackers range from the very smallest to the very largest dog breeds. 10. The dogs actually involved in attacks are not genetically related in any meaningful way. This goes right to the heart of common, yet completely unscientific, baseless claims about allegedly inheriting aggressive behaivours or being bred for aggression. In short, the dogs involved in attacks are not closely genetically related to one another. This tends to refute the idea that the attack was due to some aberrant inherited gene. Think about it. What could the Dalmatian that bit off a boy’s nose 10 years ago and the Golden Retriever that left 76 stitches in a girl’s face, just a few years ago, possibly have in common, from a genetic standpoint? Is anyone really trying to suggest they’re genetically related, and both inherited some sort of as-yet-undiscovered “attack gene”? Even the Rottweiler that killed a child in New Brunswick and the Rottweiler that killed a child in Ontario don’t share any common ancestors in their pedigrees; making the whole notion of a shared genetic cause for attacks completely ludicrous. Put simply, the individual dogs involved in unique attack incidents are not genetically related in any way other than that which makes them dogs. 11. Psychology defines aggression as learned behaviour. I’ve been researching dog biting incidents since 1999. I have yet to find a dog involved in an attack that didn’t have a known history of aggressive behaviour. Aggression has to be learned and practiced before it is perfected. I have yet to come across a case of a dog that attacked unprovoked, without ever having barked menacingly, growled, lunged, snapped, or what have you. This completely refutes the (quite silly) urban myth that “some dogs just turn”, or that dogs can be THIS unpredictable. (i.e. friendly family pet with no history of ever having behaved aggressively one minute; then savage, unprovoked attacker the next) As an experienced dog trainer (one who has spent many of those years SUCCESSFULLY re-training aggressive dogs), I can attest that dogs are not all that unpredictable. Sure, they might do something out of the ordinary, every now and then. However, for a dog to suddenly behave aggressively in a way that is truly threatening or injurious, it must have practiced those behaviours in the past. This is the nature of all learned behaviours. Only practice makes perfect. (I can elaborate more on that, if you wish.) It’s as though people can’t imagine any other form of aggressive behaviour, other than biting. To help them along, I must point out that aggressive behaviours follow a fairly predictable scale of escalation. It may begin with staring or raised hackles (all merely indicating discomfort with a situation). That can lead to raised lips, growling, stiffened body posture, menacing barking, lunging, and attempted bites. Long before an unwarranted bite ever occurs, there are a litany of warning signs that the dog will eventually bite. Even the most die-hard dog fighting breeders admit they have to start their puppies very young (often at six weeks), to turn them into superior fighters. When asked why they have to spend so much effort training their (allegedly bred-to-fight) dogs, none can provide a scientifically or practically sensible response. Most use made-up terminologies to emphasize what they believe are inherited traits, while playing down the daily training they force on the dogs. Yet it is clear that, without this ongoing encouragement, the dogs don’t become proficient fighters. I’ve researched so many cases where the owner has allegedly claimed the attack was the first time the dog behaved aggressively, I now pay little heed to such statements. The neighbours almost always tell a very different story. To use a more famous case as an example, little Courtney Trempe was killed by a dog the owner claimed had never behaved aggressively before. The owner went on to say he “couldn’t have known” the dog would attack, because it had never tried to bite a person. Well, it turns out the dog had not just attacked previously, but had actually killed two neighbourhood dogs in the past. That is an aggressive dog, by anyone’s standards. But it does bring me to my next point… 12. Aggression is aggression is aggression. The idea that aggression can be species-specific is not based in any kind of scientific, statistical, or practical data. It seems to be little more than wishful thinking. Those perpetuating this notion tend not to have even attempted to validate this theory in any way. There is a very disturbing myth being promulgated by a number of groups that should know better than to perpetuate unfounded myths. The idea that aggression towards other dogs is markedly different than aggression towards humans is scientifically and statistically baseless. (But I realize a lot of people learned this myth, and repeat it as though it is true.) I have to point out that the real-world data, in no uncertain terms, clearly refutes such theories. Of the dogs involved in their first aggression incident towards a human, the vast majority had behaved aggressively towards other animals (usually other dogs) in the past. Of the dogs involved in their first bites against humans, where the dog had no history of aggression towards humans, the majority had behaved aggressively towards other animals (usually other dogs) in the past. Of the dogs whose first bite against a person resulted in that individual’s death, and where the dog had no history of aggressive behaviour towards humans, every one of the cases I’ve investigated involved dogs that had behaved aggressively towards other dogs in the past. (see the Trempe case example, above) So, while some aggressive dogs may, for now, limit their aggressive behaviour to other animals, it in no way guarantees it will remain that way forever. Most, if not all, the first-time human biters had only behaved aggressively towards other animals, in the past. Their owners, having believed the myth that aggression is species-specific in dogs, are always surprised when their dog-aggressive dogs bite someone. Again, dog-aggression could remain contained, for a number of social and environmental reasons. Statistically, these dogs are equally as likely to bite a human, one day. Dogs with histories of aggressive behaviour (towards either humans or other animals) are almost exclusively involved in unprovoked biting incidents. 13. Nearly all unprovoked dog bites would not be prevented by dog control laws. Since dog control laws typically only apply to the conduct of owners (and their dogs) when they’re on public property, it completely negates their ability to affect the circumstances that lead to the vast majority of unprovoked dog bites. When it comes to total dog bite numbers, almost all take place on the owner’s property. When it comes to reported dog bite numbers, the overwhelming majority take place on, or directly adjacent to, the owner’s property. Supervised dogs in a public place account for less than 1% of all bites. This makes public restraint laws especially ineptly-aimed and ineffective in reducing dog bites. Most unprovoked biting incidents involve (typically an unsupervised) dog known to the victim. Whether or not the victim knows the dog, the bite usually takes place on the owner’s property (where the dog is either loose or tethered), or directly adjacent to the owner’s property (where the dog was either allowed to venture off the owner’s property, or “escaped”). Very few unprovoked biting incidents involve a supervised dog. Simple supervision appears to be very effective in preventing dog bites. When bites take place far from the owner’s property, the dogs involved were most likely loose, roaming, unsupervised dogs. Simply put, public restraint laws don’t target the situations that actually lead to unprovoked dog bites. 14. Cities that address the real causes of unprovoked dog bites (i.e. lack of supervision & lack of socialization and training) are hugely successful in reducing the number of dog bites. Calgary is the best example we have in Canada. They reduced dog bites by 70%, even during a period where the population doubled. Calgary’s approach was to first enforce existing laws. They strictly enforce licensing, and boast a licensing rate of 90% (compared to most cites’ 10-20%). In this way, they have a better handle on the dog population in their community, which helps in making decisions and drawing conclusions. They also have a zero tolerance policy for acts of aggression. (Something I’m personally totally in favour of. Dogs are not weapons, and anyone who unethically uses a dog for that purpose shouldn’t be allowed to own one.) Any report of aggressive behaviour of any kind results in a visit from animal control and a warning. City officials are clear, in that they agree one of the biggest aspects of their success was the creation of ample off-leash areas for dogs to be exercised, socialized, and trained off-leash. With reportedly the largest number of off-leash parks in Canada, it’s no coincidence that Calgary also has the lowest dog bite rate of any major city in Canada. Several years ago, I made this prediction, “When the studies are done, we’ll find the cities with the best access to off-leash parks are also the cities with the lowest percentage of dog bites.” Calgary certainly suggests my prediction was correct. Finally, Calgary increased the penalties for some transgressions. Combined with increased enforcement, the large percentage of licensed dogs, along with the higher fines, has led to Calgary’s animal control department becoming financially self-sufficient. It’s win, win, win, in Calgary, all because they addressed the real causes for unwarranted aggression in dogs. 15. Breed-specific approaches to dog bite prevention have failed. There isn’t one region that can claim a reduction in the number, or severity, of dog bites as a direct result of banning a breed of dog. In Winnipeg, officials promoting the city’s long-time ban on ‘pit bulls’ often misleads the public by stating “’pit bull’ attacks” have been eliminated. Well of course they’ve been eliminated. ‘Pit bulls’ are banned in Winnipeg. You don’t have to be rocket scientist to figure that out. There are also no wooly mammoth attacks or saber toothed tiger attacks, either. When Winnipeg banned ‘pit bulls’, German Shepherds, and their crosses, were far and away the most common biters in that city. After ‘pit bulls’ were banned, there was an average of close to 50 more bites per year, for the following decade. In addition to the rise in overall dog bites, the number of bites by German Shepherds and crosses, Labrador Retrievers and crosses, Terriers crosses, and Rottweilers and crosses, skyrocketed. Kitchener is another example. The city of Kitchener banned ‘pit bulls’ in 1997, without ever having done an analysis on the city’s dog bite data. Only after ‘pit bulls’ were banned was it discovered they were #8 in the 1996 dog bite statistics, “right behind #7 Poodles,” as it is commonly said. In what could only be a deliberate attempt to mislead the public, officials immediately halted the collection of dog bite data by breed. Even so, while we don’t know which breeds have been doing the biting, we can still determine if the ‘pit bull’ ban has been effective in reducing dog bites in Kitchener. Every animal bite is required, by law, to be reported to the Medical Officer of Health. With a sleuthing, it was discovered that dog bites haven’t been reduced at all, since ‘pit bulls’ were banned in 1997. They’ve remained pretty constant. According to a BBC report, hospitalizations due to dog bites rose 25% after ‘pit bulls’ were banned in England. Officials from most of the cities that have repealed breed-specific laws have used terms like “ineffective” and “unenforceable”. 16. All dog breeds are genetically identical. Even DNA can’t distinguish between a Chihuahua, a ‘pit bull’, a Great Dane, and a wolf. (Yes, while there are occasional claims of in-roads, in this area, using markers, all dogs are still considered genetically identical.) Those rare individuals with the personal expertise necessary to accurately attempt to determine a dog’s breed based on appearance alone typically are not employed in the various occupations charged with enforcing most breed-specific legislation. This leaves the subjective determination of a dog’s breed to the very inexpert animal control and shelter workers. In some cases, police officers must decide the dog’s breed, yet not one police officer is trained to (accurately) differentiate between dog breeds. The same can be said of veterinarians. A veterinary license infers expertise in diagnosing and treating illness, for the most part. Neither practicing veterinarians nor veterinary students are required to prove any expertise in breed identification in order to obtain a license. Any expertise an individual veterinarian may possess, in terms of breed identification, or even dog training and behaviour, was most likely acquired outside the requirements of licensing. Because the people enforcing breed-specific laws are not dog breed identification experts, the likelihood of misidentification is unconscionably great. (In Ontario, several dogs have already been misidentified, under breed-specific ordinances.) 17. The public is not in danger of unprovoked dog bites. For instance, every recent dog-related fatality in Canada has involved dogs and victims residing within the same home. The same could be said for the majority of bites and attacks, as well. This is very important information, in terms of quelling the public’s hysteria. “The public” is rarely involved in unprovoked biting incidents. Most bite victims knew the dog and were voluntarily interacting with it at the time of the bite. Most bite victims are bitten by their own dogs. If you don’t own a dog, your risk of being bitten is very low. If you also don’t interact with dogs, or live next door to a dog that is routinely left unsupervised, or one that is known to behave aggressively, then your risk of being bitten is virtually nil. Even when we don’t account for contributing factors (such as proximity) you are still more than 100 times more likely to be hit by lightning than killed by a dog. (In Canada, the likelihood of being killed by a dog you don’t know or live with is virtually zero.) 18. ‘Pit bulls’ are, if anything, less likely to bite. In the U.S., ‘pit bulls’ are estimated to make up 9% of the dog population, yet they typically only make up 2-4% of dog bites, nationwide. In case your readers don’t understand what that means, it would be expected, purely on population alone, that 9% of dog bites would be attributed to ‘pit bulls’. Since less than half (even a third) of bites are reportedly caused by ‘pit bulls’, this suggests they’re much less likely to bite than should be expected. 19. ‘Pit bulls’ are less likely to kill than people. In the U.S., even extremely conservative estimates suggest that only 0.00002% of the ‘pit bull’ population has killed. This is much lower than the human population (men, in particular). Whatever someone’s views about ‘pit bulls’ might be, it can’t change the fact that at least 99.99998% have never, and will never, kill anyone. 20. 99.9% of all dogs, from all breeds, will never be involved in an attack. Huge generalizations about dog breeds is not only unscientific, it’s not even practically accurate. I like to put it this way, “If any ‘breed’ were genetically programmed to attack, certainly more than 0.1% of them would.” 21. The media. While I don’t want to get into a protracted discussion about the lack of honesty in media reports of dog bites, I will summarize by saying that reviewing media reports of dog biting incidents is not “research” because the media is extremely biased in regards to which stories it chooses to cover. The media reports dog biting incidents involving ‘pit bulls’ to the near-exclusion of all others. In addition, they use other tactics to exaggerate the details, such as salacious language, or references to other dog biting incidents involving ‘pit bulls’. There are countless incidents of media bias. In Ontario, a ‘pit bull’ killed another dog, and it was front-page news, that reappeared in the media for weeks. The owner was swiftly taken to jail. Around the same time, two Labs killed another dog, and attacked a ‘pit bull’ without any real media interest. The owner of the Labs was not charged with any serious offence. There are other blatant incidents, as well. One weekend, two off-leash dogs (one of them being a ‘pit bull’) got into a squabble, and every major media agency reported the incident. That same weekend, a child was mauled by the family’s Golden Retriever, and not one media outlet covered the story. A child was mauled so savagely by his grandfather’s Labrador Retriever, he required treatment at two Ontario hospitals. Only one media outlet covered this story in just one broadcast. Again, relying on the media for the facts of dog biting cases is not advised. Naturally, I could go on. But there you have a pretty good primer (off the top of my head), regarding the facts about the who, what, where, when, how, and why dogs bite unprovoked. Because I kept encountering the same story, over and over and over again, in my research of dog biting incidents, I was led to create a dog bite prevention strategy that deals with the factors common to nearly all the cases I’d investigated. I made it simple, and easy to remember. And I made sure not to include anything that would require an individual to develop some kind of expertise. People who don’t own dogs or aren’t experienced dog trainers still have a right to protect themselves from unprovoked dog bites. The following is what I call, the “3 Simple Steps to Dog Bite Prevention”: 1. Avoid unsupervised dogs. 2. Never leave children unsupervised with dogs. 3. Ensure our own dogs are properly trained and adequately supervised at all times. By following these “3 Simple Steps”, we could virtually eliminate unprovoked dog bites in Canada. It is not just important, but vital, to know what ACTUALLY causes dogs to bite unprovoked, if we ever hope to reduce those numbers. Obtusely theorizing about possible causes or solutions is not helpful and, as in the case of breed-specific legislation, is often harmful to both humans and dogs. If you would like more information, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Sincerely, Marjorie Darby Founder,

That's exactly why I won't walk our dog [2008-06-10]
My husband and I have a golden retriever/lab mix. I am not an animal lover but do have compassion for animals. My husband is the animal lover. If my husband is out of town on business, I will not walk the dog. Just the smell of dog doo makes me gag and vomit. I will, however, let the dog loose in our yard and watch her to make sure she stays in our yard while she exercises, but I will not walk her because I wouldn't be able to clean up any messes. As for fines, I would imagine there is some sort of punishment in our small town and I think there should be across the board. Our dog is trained to do her business in 1 area of the yard that my husband picks up weekly before mowing the grass. If I find doo anywhere else in my yard, I am not happy. We have 3 kids who like to run and play and know to stay out of the dog Having to clean off their shoes because someone else was lazy with their dog infuriates me. Way to go NY!!!!! Hope it comes to my hometown soon!

What troubles me most about your post [2008-06-10]
is the violence your hubby seems to display. I don I have, however, been in a relationship with someone who sounds a lot like your hubby. Thankfully, no children were involved, but when he got mad, he broke stuff, expensive stuff. I didn I would be most worried about his temper tantrums escalating into something more. As for the child I took him for counseling and learned a lot of insight from the counselor. There were things I was unintentionally doing to incite him without even realizing it. The counselor also pointed out that I had 2 other children who did not act like this, so not to blame my parenting skills. He was just a child who needed to be handled differently. I felt a lot of guilt the last few years, thinking it was something I did to make him this way, but it turns out, that I It's an ongoing process, but he's worth it because I love him so! I would suggest that you find a private counselor to help you sort this. I would not invite hubby along just yet. I also wouldn I would definitely let him know about the first appointment before the second appointment. It would probably be a good idea to discuss it when his son is not there. Good luck with your situation. I feel for you. Children can be stressful to any relationship, but the joy they can bring is many times over.

Here is how it is done (sm) [2008-06-05]
We have (thank God) excellent credit scores and here is how we did it. We started by opening an account right after we were married that offered no payments/no interest. You The trick was this: We paid it off before it came due, and then we had the account closed. We called the credit card company (the one that issued the card) and requested that they close the card at our request and report it to the bureaus as such. By law this is what they then have to do. They also have to send you a letter stating such. After about 3-4 years of this, always making sure we could pay off the cards, we had excellent credit established. Here is why you should never just cut up the cards withough cancelling them: Fraud. If you have a credit account that you do not use and you put it to the back of your mind, you move or your mail gets lost and some sort of information just happens to be sent to someone else regarding this account, it is entirely possible that they will use it. Another reason to cancel these cards: They will show up on your report and actually drag your score down for having too many revolving cards. Basically it means that you have too many active accounts that, if you used, would put you in a financial bind. We were lucky enough when we were first married to have a close friend, who happened to be a loan officer, explain the whole credit thing to us. We never borrow money we don It has really paid off. Hope this helps someone. HC

DS--Been there done THAT [2008-05-30]
We recently encountered the same situation. My son is in the 5th grade. I, like you warned him of the consequences. I told him that it would be his responsibility to take care of this the entire trip. He assured me he would do this. Knowingshould the game be lost, stolen, or broken in the endWE would not replace it. Like your child my son let another child take the game and we still do not have it back. IT was a 60 game. ICALLED the parents hoping we could have a so calledmeeting of the minds, thischild I was angry that an adult would have such a childish response. I guess that just goes to show you sometimes it is the parents we need to teach. I wouldnot buy a new game for my son. I felt bad andI am not sure ifit was for the other child or my son. I guess I would chalk it up to a learning experience for all involved. Oh yeah, no games go in or out of our home ANYMORE.

what model do you have? [2008-05-29]
ty for ur response!

You've got to be joking - you are so insensitive [2008-05-27]
I read this post and couldn't believe it. She asked for positive feedback and you tell her this? What kind of a person are you? Sheesh. Her husband certainly does not sound like he has a lot of good qualities. To write a letter to your wife pointing out all the flaws. And then you tell her she is spoiled and unthankful???? With friends like you who needs enemies. “Ms. Done” sounds like she needs encouragement and reinforcement and some love and self esteem. Nobody should listen to your words. I don’t know who is worse you or her husband. To Done: My situation is not as bad as yours but I’ve had my moments. Luckily I don’t have children, so I don’t have to face the situation and struggles that you do. I have been married for 25 years. My husband doesn’t beat me. We laugh a lot, but sometimes I can’t put it into words but sometimes I too feel like I’m no longer in love with him (not all the time, just moments here and there). Other days I just go through the motions of breathing, working, and daily routine stuff. People who don’t know you or your situation will just tell you in an instant to leave but its not that easy and they are not standing in your shoes. Years ago mine told me I was dumpy and acting like an old lady (I was 43 at the time). He told me that when I sit and do cross stitch I look like an old lady. He tells me in an instant if I'm doing something wrong. Once time I said something to him and he came back with “you must have been a mean kid growing up saying hurtful things. I’ll bet you didn’t have many friends”. Talk about being taken aback I was too shocked to even think of a response to say. For the most part we laugh a lot, but there are days that I wonder why in the world I hastened into marriage and believe that I have done something horrible thing in a previous life and this is karma. But that’s just my struggles I will deal with. On another note, I am a child of an unhappy marriage. I won’t put blame on either my mom or my dad. They were going through their times and my sister and I were too young to understand the troubles or feelings they were going through. My baby sister died when she was 16 months old from meningitis and I know that was a big strain. Anyway…my dad stayed until my sister and I were old enough to understand what was going on, but it was not a happy home with all the fighting. When I turned 16 my mom and dad sat down with my sister and I and told us they were separating. I think I probably shocked them both because I said to them “It’s about time”. I told them all they do is fight and if they are not happy together why are they staying together. I said as long as they were happy I was happy and if being separated means them being happy then I’m for it as long as I can see them both as much or whenever I want to. You might want to talk about seeing a counselor together and maybe they can help work out the problems with you and your husband. I don't know your husband or what he's like. I'm sure he has some good qualities, but if he does not want to contribute and work it out and thinks he is perfect and does nothing wrong and that writing you a letter pointing out your flaws is an okay way for a husband to treat his wife and if he won’t get counseling and doesn’t want to keep the marriage together then there are always other options. I think most kids are a lot tougher than parents believe, and if you decide to leave with the help of a counselor or someone (other than your husband) to talk to them I’m sure they will make it through just fine. I wish my mom and dad had divorced a long time before they actually did so they would have been happier. It was very hard to see them both unhappy. On the other hand you could be like me Irish friend and dish back to your husband what he gives to you. I’d say you should write him a letter pointing out all his flaws and insecurities. Then when he doesn’t seem too happy about it tell him… “There see how it feels? You don’t like it do you”. Anyway…I wish you the best and hope you find happiness soon, and please don’t listen to EvaEv. She sounds like a real piece of work. – Hey maybe she is your husbands sister. Sounds like two peas in a pod! Just remember….you have great worth, and you are a good person and you deserve to be happy and your kids will be much happier knowing you are happy.

To MSMT and Marisa... [2008-05-26]
No, I do not think that your heart is made of metal; you are straight forward, this is how your life experiences made you. You are realistic and right to the point. Can you imagine what will be the consequences if Marisa gets pregnant (it might happen, after all they are married and maybe he has a it is not recommended to bring a child into this environment. Marisa, you need to find a partner who truly loves you and makes you feel loved. He has to fill the big void in your heart; everything is alright with you, you are a sensitive, giving, loving person. I guess that 'he' is the first love in your life. And...please, do not try to find solace in taking some sort of anti-depressants, they are no solution.