Yeah. It's a sad situation when the "Land of the Free" literally means

Yeah, the True Blood series is basically like soft porn... [2008-11-18]
definitely not advisable for a 14 year old!!!

YEAH baby!! Me too. sm [2008-11-18]
About 10 years ago I bought a Honda HX with prototype gas-efficient trannie, light wheels, no frills. That puppy would still be with me if not for the prototype trannie pretty much fizzled on most of the HXs but I milked mine for as long as possible. Ex had a Prelude, same year (99). He loved the car and took great care of it. Gas was killing him though (uses it to drive and travels a bit). He wanted to keep it in the family so he sold it to me. I drive about 5000 miles a year, if that. Amost 300,000 miles on that one and what a dream it is!!! He bought a new Civic. Another SWEET car. My son has a 1990 Accord, bought it used with less than 100,000 miles about 3 years ago. We've put some money into it, mostly cosmetic and just catching stuff up, but it runs like new. My Civic was actually built in US, so I didn't feel too guilty, but how many years have US automakers had to see the writing on the wall? I'm sorry, but I like keeping a car forever. No car payments are great. Honda fits that mold.

sounds like you will have to be the adult in this situation as the ex is not --- [2008-11-17]
and follow the mother she is being the adult in the situation as you are, so don't lose it. food for thought: she was hurting at the funeral. sometimes people put all their hurts in one pocket and never deal with it, never heal. gram died, the pocket opened and out it all came. you may be only one situation she put away for a rainy day.

Oh, yeah, it's very nice and improved over the first models, of course. [2008-11-17]
It's roomier on the inside than you might expect. We bought the basic version, and it still has plenty of features. When gas was over $4.00 a gallon, my DH, who drives 50 miles round-trip to work each day, was saving $200 a month. Gas is lower now, but we still are saving money. Plus you never have to replace brakes on a Prius, and here in PA, I don't need to pay for emissions inspection since it burns so clean. We get our emissions sticker for free. There are a couple of other little perks like that with a Prius. And, of course, I just think it's fun. :)

What a weird situation...sm [2008-11-16]
There is nothing wrong with you or your husband being friends with the mom. I think it was totally acceptable for you and your husband to go to the funeral because your husband knew this woman. Why wouldn't he go? It would be childish and immature to not go. Also I think the relationship between the mother and you and your husband is not the brothers or the ex's business. The mother is free to be friends with whoever she wishes, and it is none of their business. It seems to me they need to get over it. I would continue being her friend and tell them to get a life.

Oh yeah...sm [2008-11-14]
He is extremely laid back. He loves EVERYBODY! We have to watch him when we take him to the park cuz he however, I don't think I'll ever have another one. We got lucky with cody, but my mom had one and she had MAJOR problems with skin, allergies, hips, all sorts of things. They are just notorious for having big health problems. So, after cody I think we're gonna stay away from the bullies. Wonderful dogs, but just not very healthy. It's sad.

Snapfish free gift today on Oprah [2008-11-12]
Today on Oprah she announced that anyone that went into her website Oprah.com could get a free personalized picture album - with up to 20 digital pic upload by Sunday night. Looked it over quickl and is really neat. $30 value.

Oh yeah, [2008-11-11]
Velveeta is much harder to grate, as I'm sure you can imagine . . . LOL!!!

Yeah they say nuetering helps...sm [2008-11-11]
Mine is so sweet I haven't even nuetered him. But there have been some offers to breed him to females and because he is such a wonderful dog I would like to keep his bloodline going with other family pets who are inside family dogs. Now I can tell you if the dogs were bullying my child such as the ones in San Francisco they would no longer be inside and would probably be kept in some kind of kennel. I would not even trust them to stay in the yard. They would have been under lock and key. I know personally that you can't keep a pit bull locked in a room and expect that he won't get out. I tried that when I left my house because I didn't want him to be free roaming around the house because he is nosy and may get into something or chew something. Well he tore the door down and got out. I was so mad. But I learned that you can't keep them in a room and believe they can't get out. He was about a little less than a year then but now he is so good and don't get into things when I leave him. I guess the puppy in him made him do it. But I cannot express enough that mother should have never kept those pits in the house if there was the slightest problem with her son. Those must have been some mean pits. This irresponsible breeding makes me so mad. I don't want my dog to be some mean killing machine. I want a sweet baby. That is why I thought I would never own a pit but he was such a sweetheart as a pup. He was and still is real laid back.

oh yeah, sign me up for my two drunken brothers [2008-11-11]
After what happened at last years The drunker they got, the funnier it was to point out all of the ways I No money, raising my kid by myself, rusty car .... the list went on. Nothing better than driving home crying on Xmas Eve. No thank you very much to that again, which I have made very clear.

need a good free internet adult website/content [2008-11-10]
my NINE year old was looking at po rn on You Tube today. I walked in on him watching something totally adult. He said he clicked on something and when it came up it was that...i believed him but later on when I looked at the history there were 5 different adult videos he had viewed!!!!! how should I approach this??

Yeah [2008-11-10]
I gave fake information. oops

Oh, yeah, forgot about the wax... [2008-11-07]
get LOTS from the ortho office. My DH went through it like crazy, kept it everywhere and I kept some in both cars and in my purse.

Heck yeah! [2008-11-07]
My daughter is a few months younger than Celine's son. She has her hair buzzed by her request. (I use the 3/4 inch buzzer guide.) She is tops of her class, very respectful, and loves to help out her teacher in class. She is well behaved, but she does pick on her little sisters sometimes like any kid. She's a really good kid. When we go to the nursing home to visit my husband (he's a nurse), the residents typically assume she's a boy because of her hair, which annoys her. Otherwise she is as girly as can be, much girlier than her mom with long hair! I figure it's just hair--who cares as long as the child can handle the hair issues? Eventually there will be much bigger battles to be fought than the length of hair. Go Celine!

Yeah, you're delusional. nm [2008-11-03]
x

I used Debt Free Today. Pretty good [2008-11-03]
company. Never had any troubles with them. Just sent them a check once a month and they distributed among my creditors on the agreed amount. I think we paid off in 4 years. Was really nice!

yeah, tired. monthly plan HERE w/10 mo. extra for unltd texting. nm [2008-11-01]
.

YEAH PHILLIES [2008-10-29]
Phillies won the World Series!!!!!

Yeah. the Exorcist should have been [2008-10-27]
#1. At that time, we had just moved into our house that was empty for a couple years a couple days after that andand for 2 weeks after that every night, there was knocking on the ceiling. Scared the crap out of me! Turned out to be a squirrel playing basketball with the walnuts.LOL

free credit checks. [2008-10-26]
Is there a way to obtain your credit report for free? I have never checked it. I have always been afraid to, but now I would like to check it now matter how bad and figure on a way to make it better. I have looked on line and found several sites offering free credit checks, but then pay a monthly fee for something. I don I have too many straws in my bank account. I was wondering if my bank would do it or maybe an 800. If I ask, wouldI get laughed out of the building imaging something for free?TIA.

Melanotic stools means blood in the stools. nm [2008-10-25]
x

Maybe this has absolutely no bearing on this situation [2008-10-25]
but my family owns several grocery stores and he chooses not to sell alcohol. I know that you have to have a license to sell beer, another for wine, and another for hard liquor. This really has nothing to do with religion. Honestly if the licenses werenowns a business should be able to choose what they want to sell and what they don't want to sell. JMO!

Good luck to you too - sorry you are in the same type of situation sm [2008-10-24]
email me if you want. Maybe we can come up with some ideas encourage each other to get more motivated

Transfer your banking business to a free checking account [2008-10-22]
Washington Mutual Compass Bank, and many others offer completely free checking accounts. There’s no reason you should be paying maintenance and annual fees for a checking account.

yeah well it's only wasting money when you lose [2008-10-22]
a deal when you could win millions. I can give up a few cups of coffee or something else rather than my lottery tickets!!

At certain stores in MI, s/m [2008-11-18]
They will double coupons up to $1. I do this a lot with toothpaste and stockpile it. A lot of times it is 2/$4 or 2/$5, so I either get it free or for 50 cents a tube. A lot of the $1 coupons are for new items and our local store here is pretty good about having those on sale a lot during the first few weeks it is out to promote it, so I get the new things relatively cheap as well. You just have to be careful about not getting things just because you have a coupon. When I coupon shop, it can take me 3 hours because I compare all the prices with brands to coupons, etc. You also have to really know your prices as compared to other stores. I have one store where I get my meat and I don Where they double the $1 coupon, I don I'm really careful about it and belong to an internet sites to help me as well.

I think I spend less at the store when [2008-11-18]
we eat out/order in. Of course, then our entertaining budget increases. But some things are cheaper to just order in. For example, pizzas -- I can get 2 large pepperoni pizzas from the local pizzeria for under $20. If I buy them in the store, I spend about $15 and then have to cook them and my kids don The frozen kind are also smaller. I just got groceries this past Friday and spent $200. I had an entire cart full. In addition to the coupons I had, I also had a 20% discount on everything (one of those reward plans for spending so much the previous 2 months). I got value packs of skinless/boneless chicken breasts - buy 1 get 1 free -- $15 packs of chicken, breakfast sausage on sale, ham steaks on sale, plus my 20% off all that. Overall, I think I spend somewhere around $150 a week on groceries. There are 5 of us -- me, my hubs, and 3 boys -- ages 6 to 11. What I notice that I spend more on are school lunches. It costs $2.00 a day per child and I don I $2/day x 3 kids = $6/day x 5 days/week = $30/week x 4 weeks/month = $120 for lunch. YIKES!!! I think I can do better than that if I pack them.

Eating Out - About the Same as You [2008-11-18]
We usually get take out on Friday's because I don't cook on Fridays (it's my day off so to speak). Then we go out on Saturday nights just my husband and myself and our best friends and usually spend about $40+ depending on where we go. The kids get together with their kids and they usually get some sort of take out. Then on Saturdays we usually either eat lunch out (fast food) and then Sundays either lunch or dinner out (fast food - I hate to say sometimes it's both). We have been trying to cut down the Saturdays and Sundays as far as the fast food goes. My daughter who is a vegetarian doesn't usually get much from the fast food restaurants so our bill usually isn't that large (About $10). We always use coupons, though (buy 1 get 1 free - we have what is called Entertainment Books that the schools usually sell). My husband will cook, and I hate to say he cooks better than I do.

sounds like you will have to be the adult in this situation as the ex is not --- [2008-11-17]
and follow the mother she is being the adult in the situation as you are, so don't lose it. food for thought: she was hurting at the funeral. sometimes people put all their hurts in one pocket and never deal with it, never heal. gram died, the pocket opened and out it all came. you may be only one situation she put away for a rainy day.

Both are American [2008-11-17]
We have a Chrysler Town and Country van and a little green Ford whose name escapes me at the moment. LOL eta: Oh, yeah, it's a Contour.

Oh, yeah, it's very nice and improved over the first models, of course. [2008-11-17]
It's roomier on the inside than you might expect. We bought the basic version, and it still has plenty of features. When gas was over $4.00 a gallon, my DH, who drives 50 miles round-trip to work each day, was saving $200 a month. Gas is lower now, but we still are saving money. Plus you never have to replace brakes on a Prius, and here in PA, I don't need to pay for emissions inspection since it burns so clean. We get our emissions sticker for free. There are a couple of other little perks like that with a Prius. And, of course, I just think it's fun. :)

I would start charging the JA for room and board - sm [2008-11-16]
If he is so lazy he wonfriend, and tell him the gravy train has stopped and he needs (1) to either take the dogs and take care of them himself, (2) start paying you $200 a week to feed and board the dogs (a bargin)--and if he fails to pay the dogs go to a no-kill shelter (and stick to it), (3) in the future if he does take the dogs back, that he has to find other arrangements for their room and board whenever he is away, unless he pays you in advance with cash and supplies the food.-- yeah he will think you are a shrew but who cares, I'd be so mad at both of them, DH for not understanding and being a wuss for not talking to his friend, and the friend for being the typical male and taking advantage of a good thing. Good luck, and stick it to them!

Anonamiss, you are a sweet person too [2008-11-16]
and you I I had a neighbor drop 2 elderly ponies offin my pasture under the pretense of needing a place for them to stay for a week until she sold them.I fed and cared for them for half a year before my husband called her and demanded she come pick them up. They went to a really good home at a therapeutic riding stable that same day, thankfully, but it turned out she was trying to get money for them all that time and HER husband didnUGH. I would have kept them myself if it came down to a choice between that and letting them go back to her. Blondie, men don Women are caretakers by nature. I think your husband and his friend are inconsiderate and immature, but my husband is like that too. So glad to know the dogs don't hurt the rabbits!

What a kind post..sm [2008-11-16]
I am a very caring person. I have an extreme soft spot for animals. Dogs especially. I have a stray that was apparently dropped off here, and he is a big dog. My husband said he is a Catahoula Kur dog. He is such a sweetheart, but he can aggravate you to death. He is bad about running in the house when you open the door, and he is so big I can't hardly get him out. I have had to literally drag him by his feet out the house. As annoying as that is I can't be mean to him. I feed him everyday and talk to him and pet him. I don't need another dog but I feel so bad for him. I feel like he needs a home and and someone to care for him. So I guess I am stuck with him. I don't have the heart to take him to the pound. I just can't do that. My husband loves dogs too but he says I am just ridiculous. He thinks I treat them like people. I just see it as they are living breathing animals and they feel. There are some people who say I wouldn't feed the dogs that belonged to the guy. I could NEVER let those dogs starve. That is the thing, I think the guy knows what a softie I am and he knows I will not let them do without and he takes advantage of it. This guy, by the way, is single and fully capable financially of feeding and caring for the dogs. He just is lazy and doesn't want to be bothered when he gets home from work. It isn't my place to care for his dogs but I can't let them starve either. I don't know. I am caught between a rock and a hard spot.

What a weird situation...sm [2008-11-16]
There is nothing wrong with you or your husband being friends with the mom. I think it was totally acceptable for you and your husband to go to the funeral because your husband knew this woman. Why wouldn't he go? It would be childish and immature to not go. Also I think the relationship between the mother and you and your husband is not the brothers or the ex's business. The mother is free to be friends with whoever she wishes, and it is none of their business. It seems to me they need to get over it. I would continue being her friend and tell them to get a life.

Don't know about "sweet" but dog is God spelled backward sm [2008-11-16]
I put up with a terrier mix (not a pit - just a mutt) who was hyper and ate everything, my house shingles, kitchen floor, rugs, etc., tried caging her and she bent the wires, scaled a 6 ft. fence or dug holes underneath to get out. We called her Hogan's Heroes. When she literally ate my whole couch one cold Christmas Eve with 20 people coming, I called the SPCA in tears and they said no one would take a dog like her, they would only bring her back and she'd be put to sleep. So I kept her over 16 years and she's buried in a pet cemetery nearby. I now have a 120 lb. Golden who had big paws when he was born and the last one left because he was going to be big, so I took him. People have dropped off dogs to me crying and I found homes for them. I understand how we can't turn away these beautiful animals others don't have the heart to understand. I would present your husbandbill for food, etc., but don I believe in good deeds being rewarded. It takes time but good only leads to good things coming back at you. I doesn't seem that way right now and times are tough, but hopefully you will be rewarded in other ways.

Need some advice on an old friendship -- [2008-11-16]
I got divorced 7 years ago. Started out as a friendly divorce and then I started dating a man that my ex did not like (because he is black) and we quit speaking at all. Then, one of my very good friends started backing off from the friendship andI thought it was because I was openly dating a black man. Well, 4 months later, I heard that she was dating my exhusband. I called her and asked her about it and of course she denied it, could not believe I accused her of that, she would never do that to me..... on and onand on. To make a long story short, of course 2 months later I found out it was true, they had bee seeing each other for about 6 or 7 months. Anyway, during that time period after I knew that they were together but before they broke up, I would call her occasionally if I needed information on my son (who lived with his dad and would not speak to me at that time becaue of brainwashing) and we stayed friendly on the phone, felt like old times, etc. Then they broke up and now occasionally I get the urge to call her or she will call me for something, and it is like nothing ever happened. We laugh and cut up and it I have some thoughts though about when it really started, before we were even divorcing or during the divorce, and then sometimes I get really mad because she lied to me in the first place and let me keep trying to have a friendship, and then sometimes I miss her and think it does not matter because we were divorced and he was free and I definitely did not want him back. My problem is what to do? Forgive her and forget her... forgive her and be friends again... ask her the questions I need answers to and then decide whether to be friends??? And the other big problem is my new husband gets very upset every time I even speak to her because she did thatto me when she was my friend and he says you never go behind friends to their love interests. Advice please....

The only extended warranty I buy [2008-11-15]
is for my frontloader washer and dryer. It's only 250 bucks a year, they come out as often as I want free of charge and make sure they work okay and ANYTHING that needs replaced will be paid for, including the $400+ computer for the control panels.

Blondie, have read your posts before sm.. [2008-11-15]
You sound like a very good person, very caring. I was in the same situation once with a neighbor's dog. He would go to Canada hunting and just leave his dog tied to a dog house in mid-winter in New England and I would take her into my home, feed her, keep her warm and all. This neighbor today I can say with full confidence was borderline-retarded without a doubt. I am so glad I did this. I even at one time went to the dog pound and claimed this dog who had gotten loose and said it was my own. I could not let this poor dog suffer because of its owner. All I can say is do what is in your heart, it may cost you a few dollars more but think of it is abandoned children and you are there for them. Take a good look at this guy and truly ask yourself is he is capable of the love and caring you have in your heart. I know times are tough, but perhaps you are the one who is meant to save these poor animals. Sounds like this guy is either not the sharpest tool in the shed or something else wrong with him. Does he have enough money for beer or etc., and not his dogs? Then he doesn't deserve them! Think hard about the dogs and what would happen to them if it were not for you. You are a very nice person. I hope you find an answer. As for your husband, only you can answer that question. I think he should at least stick up for you and address his dumb friend as to what his responsibility is in the situation. Good luck, Blondie, you are a sweetheart to put up with all this, and I am sure the dogs are in a better place with you. Do you have an SPCA or someone who could help with the food? Perhaps online you can find a way to make your own food suitable for dogs at a reasonable price. May God be with you. Perhaps you are meant to care for dogs in some way that would be beneficial to you in other ways. God bless you for caring.

Explaining a couple of things sm [2008-11-14]
I studied IQ as part of my Masterget you because your sense of humor is probably well off the beaten track. You probably lack social skills from an early age. Your peers would play childhood games while you preferred to try to improve upon the toys they played with. In school, you didn't have to work very hard in most areas. It all came very easily. You didn't learn how to learn, which is a very valuable skill. You probably have a low frustration level and when something doesn't come very easily, you are prone to giving up. Because you see the world in completely different terms than people of more average intelligence, those same average people call you crazy or mentally ill and tell you that you should be locked up. You don't fit in and despite the higher intelligence, you are remiss to know how to accomplish the feat of being more ordinary. I alluded to this in my previous post. I have the unusual combination of being very artistic, creatively gifted AND being rather intellectually gifted. Yes, I did fall at the 99.6% percentile on the Wechsler. I know what it means and I have a firm understanding that indeed, that score suggests that I possess more intelligence than 99.6% of the people who have taken that test, and only 0.4% are smarter than I am. It has been a life-long struggle to fit in. I am too cerebral for artistic people, and too artistic for intellectuals. I literally have no one I fit in with. I have learned to tone myself down to make it work. I didn't say dumb down, I said tone down. That means I don't intentionally talk over the heads of others and I won't cram what I know down anyone's throat. I have had those people in my life who have been jealous of me. I learn quickly if it is artistic, musical, creative, the written word, history and philosophy. I struggle with math. I took piano lessons 10 years ago. I had 40 of them and had never played the piano before. In 40, 1-hour lessons I could play the Moonlight Sonata in piano solo (not a dumbed down easy version). Most people cannot do that. There many other things I have done in a similar fashion, but this is an example for you. You ask why I am an MT if I am so smart. I make very good money as an MT and I enjoy the challenge. My photographic memory comes in very handy too. I often stop and read up on a disease process I am transcribing about, so that I know what it means. Show me a word once and I'll know it forever. It makes my job easier for me to accomplish. This all sounds like I am blowing my own horn, but I am merely trying to explain. Being highly intelligent wonreally smart is not only not helpful, I think it is the root of the housecleaning issues in my life. In short, it is just great to have a good ol' high number and in the end it makes absolutely difference...if you don't count the fact that people with IQs over 150 are 3 times more likely to be depressed and commit suicide than the average population. People who are 125 to 140 are the most fortunate. They succeed in greater numbers in school, in a job, in life. They are very bright, and likely have learned how to learn. They are more likely to persevere in the face of frustration and challenge. It really isn't all you think it is.

Better get your [2008-11-14]
If prices are super lowor there are a lot of sales,that means inventories are still too high at the stores. This won Stores will have a lot less inventory next year and not many discounts. So if there was something you had your eye on, don Major department stores have to borrow money to buy inventories, and with the credit crisis that is harder to do. This might be the lastdiscount sale year for the next ten years.

Please...I need someone to talk to...sm [2008-11-13]
Okay, its pity party time. I may need to get a professionalfree therapy. I am feeling really, really guilty about not seeing my dad as much as I should. So, heredad just up and leaves sort of way. He got a job in another city about 5 hours away. I remember we were all really excited about it as it was a really good career move for him. Mom didnagreement was that he would come home on the weekends and see us (right). So this turned into seeing him every month, to every couple of months, to about twice a year (thanksgiving and Christmas). Him and mom are still married (don't know how she does it) but I feel such resentment toward him that it is hard for me to go see him. We only live about 15 minutes away from my parents and are in their town a lot to see my husband's family. However, I choose not to go see my father because it is awkward and weird and it stresses me out to the max. I get to see mom about 3 times a week as we work together (both as transcriptionists) at our local hospital. I love spending time with her, but not with my dad around. I know I'm hurting his feelings when I don't see him but on his birthday, father's day, holidays, etc. He doesn't drink THAT much anymore, a beer or two a day (we think), but it still bothers the heck out of me when I see him drinking. Although it is better than mom and I trying to get him to bed while he is falling down drunk or driving away, getting a DUII, etc. I would never tell him how I feel because I love him and wouldn't hurt him like that. He isn't very healthy (hep C, high BP, neuropathy, etc) and I don't think he'll be around for that much longer. NEway..getting off track...I just need some advice and/or to hear someone else's stories about something like this. I don't know what to do and it is really getting to me. It does feel better to be able to talk to someone about it though (husband doesn't understand and talking to mom about it just makes her feel bad). Thanks ladies for all of your support!!!

Has This Ever Happened To Any Of You Here? [2008-11-13]
This was unreal...I had made a trip to the store for cat food (before I became cat food LOL!) and while slowing down behind a car that was turning, I got hit in the back. No real damage, just a scruff on the bumper of my Subaru Forester, and a bit of a blow to my ego, but the dang kid who hit me was texting her boyfriend while driving and obviously not paying attention to the road. She was only 19 years old! Holy cow! I got out, she got out...still texting. She said, Wait a minute, and continued texting. I couldn't believe it. I have that hands-free voice-activated cellphone setup in my Forester that DH set up for me, so I got back in and called the police department. If she hadn't been so rude, I might have let it go, but when she pulled that, I decided to teach her a lesson. She was horrified to learn that I called the cops while she was texting. She actually yelled at me, saying, My Dad and on and on. I just stood there and looked at her. The cop got there, threw the book at her: failure to yield, following too closely, texting while driving (it's a law here now -- you can't do that) and she has a nasty fine and her insurance is definitely going to go up. She was horrified. Maybe she'll think twice before texting while driving again...before she causes real damage and people get hurt. So thatHang up and drive! Has this ever happened to any of you?

Slightly different perspective. [2008-11-13]
So maybe I shouldn't post about this since I have not exactly been in your shoes but I think possibly I can lend a help perspective. I lost my father to cancer when I was 19. My FIL is an alcoholic. No I didn't grow up in a divorced family or without a father through my childhood and no I haven't experienced my father being an alcoholic. What I feel I can tell you is there is such a thing as being too late to say the things you wanted to say, good or bad. If it does come to that, you will never let it go. He is still your father regardless of the choices he has made in his life. You only have 1 father. After seeing my FIL, I believe alcoholism is an illness. Sure people can fight it and get help if they wan, but it takes a very, very strong person to overcome it and it is a constant battle. From the sounds of your post it seems as though you have some things you need to get off of your chest. Whether that means sitting down and talking to him or putting the past in the past and moving on with any kind of relationship - I think only you can figure that out. Even a relationship that is only on holidays and important events is still a relationship. Who knows, maybe talking to your mom would help her as much as it might help you. It certainly can't be a short conversation, it needs to be thorough to get through the surface feelings and to the nitty gritty. Maybe, just maybe, your mom could shed some light for you on why she has been able to forget the past to a certain extent and move on. If nothing else, this might make you and your mom even closer and it sounds like no one else (professional or otherwise) would understand better than her. With my FIL, we do not stay when he is drunk or starts drinking. The entire family knows we pack up and leave, regardless of the situation. It hurts his feelings sometimes I can tell, but he knows the circumstances and we have small children that we will not subject to that. It was difficult at first but over the years it is just the way it is and no one says a word anymore and respects where we are coming from.

You said you "love him too much" to tell him sm [2008-11-13]
how you feel. If you love him that much, you should tell him how you feel before it is too late and he is gone! Maybe you telling him how you feel will help him to get his life back on track. I don't blame you for not wanting to visit. I wouldn't either but for your love for him, he deserves you to tell him. If it were your child in this situation, would you not tell them because you loved them too much? Remember that phrase, tough love?

I think thanksgiving would be the [2008-11-12]
perfect time to make it clear you are NOT joining in the free for all giftgiving. Maybe you could make their favorite desserts or breads instead or think of some other inexpensive hand made gifts. My sister makes jelly or tamales for the sibs and my brother buys a bottle of wine each (mine is piling up and getting well aged). This is exactly why I tell my 3 boys to buy for their wives and kids. I myself don't (can't) spend much on the kids, but I figure their parents need to have that fun, I've had my turn with my own. And I don't want anything at all, in fact, I wish when someone came over, they would have to take something when they leave! But, like I told one of mine, you are making memories, it will depend on your attitude and not what you spent that the kid remembers later. One might forget that expensive day at an amusement park, but remember years later a plain simple picnic because of the feeling of family fun and closeness. Good luck with your pregnancy, I am sure you are unusually tired already.

I think thanksgiving would be the [2008-11-12]
perfect time to make it clear you are NOT joining in the free for all giftgiving. Maybe you could make their favorite desserts or breads instead or think of some other inexpensive hand made gifts. My sister makes jelly or tamales for the sibs and my brother buys a bottle of wine each (mine is piling up and getting well aged). This is exactly why I tell my 3 boys to buy for their wives and kids. I myself don't (can't) spend much on the kids, but I figure their parents need to have that fun, I've had my turn with my own. And I don't want anything at all, in fact, I wish when someone came over, they would have to take something when they leave! But, like I told one of mine, you are making memories, it will depend on your attitude and not what you spent that the kid remembers later. One might forget that expensive day at an amusement park, but remember years later a plain simple picnic because of the feeling of family fun and closeness. Good luck with your pregnancy, I am sure you are unusually tired already.

Thanks for your suggestions and kind words. [2008-11-12]
I am a very old fashioned person and generally speaking have the ideals that you speak of above. Making gifts, thinking outside of the box because it means more, putting aside the cost and really putting effort and thought into the gift - for any occasion. I know I have a short fuse right now with the hormones and it makes me not want to even try. Really my MIL is the only problem. Everyone else would love a thoughtful, homemade gift. I guess you sort of have to know her personality too. Generally speaking, she rubs me the wrong way but I try to just let things go. I just get tired of hearing the we are really going to cut back this year! when they said the same thing last year and it was a normal Christmas, then when I offer a suggestion she looks at me like I just cut someoneretired and bored. I did stand my ground this year though and tell my husband to deal with her on the Christmas morning doings. In the past Santa only comes to her house...so all the kids and grandkids have to cart their stuff over there to put under the tree and then wake up and drive over for presents in the morning. Screw that. In what fairy tale book did they read that Santa doesn't come to the house where the child sleeps?! Crazy how different families can be. Oh well, I'm getting off subject here but I thank you for your kind words and I'm going to try to change my attitude. I can only do what I can do. I suggested my homemade gift ideas to my husband and he then went through a catalog and picked out gifts. Granted they were $15-20 a piece but still. Every dollar counts these days. HI'm trying to look at it as one less thing I have to do or think about - I'm sure that's where he is coming from anyway. Men just think backwards sometimes.

Well you do have a point there... [2008-11-12]
I'd love to be waited on, pampered, spending their money...yeah! But I'd probably be the one on the other end who gets the crappy, nasty family. couldn't handle that...

Snapfish free gift today on Oprah [2008-11-12]
Today on Oprah she announced that anyone that went into her website Oprah.com could get a free personalized picture album - with up to 20 digital pic upload by Sunday night. Looked it over quickl and is really neat. $30 value.