You sound like an excellent parent

My sweetest sound... [2008-08-29]
is 7 years old and occurs when he falls asleep unexpectedly somewhere and he starts snoring. I can sit there and listen to him sleep sing all night long!

kid in bathtub-is there any better sound in the world? [2008-08-27]
As I sit here and type, my little guy (who His whole life, he has always made these sweet sounds as he plays with his bath toys, just nonsensical, whimsical noises. I always thought that was the sweetest thing when he was a baby, but now, as a little man, he still does it. It When I point out to him how much I love it, he stops, so I Warms my heart, thought I'd share.

Why wait for dad? When you do that, you imply you are the weaker parent, for lack of [2008-08-26]
You told him to sit for 4 hours (which I agree was harsh for an 8-yo) and gave in after 30 mins. Say what you mean and mean what you say, or the kids will think you're a pushover. Don't leave dad to be the enforcer, you enforce the rules, otherwise they'll fear dad but not you. Know what I mean?

This may sound crazy and it's [2008-08-26]
What about chiropractic? It might be worth a shot. If he has done this for a while, maybe he has subluxations that are affecting the nerves.

Wrist bands sound great [2008-08-25]
I'm going to look into those.

Quite the contrary, it's an excellent and (sm) [2008-08-24]
proven way to reduce weight and improve your health. There are different phases to low carb. Not all do it for the weight loss, in fact, but the energy and good overall feeling that comes with eliminating processed carbs. If you Once one has achieved their desired weight loss with low carb, they can still maintain a low carb lifestyle without further weight loss. It works and it The energy that you get back is the biggest plus to this LIFESTYLE- yes, itdiet.

All of the dips sound great - Tx [2008-08-23]
going to try them all (but one at a time). Thanks.

Lavasoft and spybot are excellent sources [2008-08-13]
xx

I hope I didn't sound like... [2008-08-04]
I was putting you down for your decision to let your child sleep with you. It seems that there are a lot of postings now mentioning that and I certainly did not mean to sound like you made a bad decision or anything. I know a lot of parents do agree with that, I am just not one of them. My child has stayed in our bedroom on occasion and I have stayed in his until he has fallen asleep, it has just not become routine. We have found other ways around things that may frighten him. I just meant that everyone has to find what works for their own child and I think its great that you aren't brushing off what your child is telling you but you are trying to find answers to help.

Okay, this may sound weird but..... [2008-07-28]
I have seen this in two different children in the family and they were all middle children. I know some may say there is no such thing as the middle-child syndrome but I say different. My daughter has two friends who were middle children growing up and they both had outbursts and seemed upset all the time, and their parents were constantly upset about them. In seeing this in my family and with friends, I really truly believe there is something to this. My mother is a middle child also and I can see she is perceived differently by her own siblings. She has been treated ugly by her younger sister and older brother. Her own parents (my grandparents) have always treated her differently, even though they would deny they have. I have seen it with my SIL and her daughter, the middle child. Now, on the other hand, the couple of middle children I have not seen it happen in was where the other children, one older and one younger, were opposite sex; she had two brothers. My mother had a sister and brother, my other family members also have sisters and brothers, but the ones with two siblings of the opposite sex than they, seemingly have no problems like this. A close friend had an older son, then a daughter, and then the youngest girl. The middle daughter began this behavior as well very early on. Since my girlfriend was a middle child, she quickly picked up on this and started spending time with this child alone and doing activities completely separate from the other siblings. She did tell me that if she were perfectly honest, she realized the oldest child probably did get more attention and then the second came along, probably not the same amount of attention, and then with the baby, of course, lavishing again because that child was the baby of the home. Being a middle child herself, she was very honest about this and knew what she felt like, so from early on, she spent a lot of time with this child, which may have seemed over doing it to the other siblings, but I have to say, it really changed things for the better for this child. She seemed to just blossom and the negative behavior just stopped. They took pictures of her by herself without other siblings around, movies alone with her, time cooking in the kitchen, just a lot of one-on-one time, and it really changed her for the better. I I can't put my finger on it but even I know we took tons of pictures of our first and as parents know, we tend to put the next child in everything together with the first, and sometimes their own identify gets lost in the shuffle.....you know? My girlfriend did have a particular doctor who wrote books on this and she read a lot of the books, which she said made a lot of sense to her. She did not want her middle child to feel the way she did growing up and with the suggestions made, she did try them, and the return was great!! Maybe try this? I know you love this child just as much, but I'm certain the frustration you feel (and it sounds your son feels as well) is coming through. With his age, he just doesn't have the coping skills to know what is bothering him necessarily, so maybe a good book on this would help you.

You're the parent, she's a minor child [2008-07-16]
This is sadly too common. Your daughter is pushing your bottons in a big way. I remember being that age and partying it up. One day it just became very boring and that was the end of it. Sadly, many people I knew didn't have it quite that easy. My first real love and a friend of his were killed from DWI at 19. Not only did they hit a car with a family of 6 (who managed to live), the rest of us had 2 funerals to go to. The priest for my boyfriend's funeral was actually his uncle! The pattern she displays is not good. Many good girls hit this age and venture into situations which they're ill-equipped to handle. My guess is that she's doing plenty more than she says. It's not that she doesn't love you. I have no idea how expensive it is to get a drug test done on her hair, but that may be one avenue. Of course, it'd be easy to get hair from a brush, etc. I have no idea how you could get a UDS unless you simply asked her point-blank for one (since she claims she has nothing to hide). I'm just not buying it, I'm sorry to say. About 2-3 years ago a friend of mine from high school was found dead in her apt. from alcoholism. This was one of the girls who had parties at her house in high school. She didn't even live to see 50 and died alone, sick, and miserable. When I found out from another friend I was surprised at first, but started retracing backwards and it was clear as a bell. Her father was an alcoholic. We didn't realize the significance of alcoholism in previous generations like we do now. I also agree with another post I read about that this is your home, so she needs to abide by your rules. Of course, Dr. Phil says that all the time, too. I can't have kids, but I remember being one. Speaking of Dr. Phil, maybe you could check his boards, too. It's so frustrating to get to this point, but just know that many here will support you and offer as much advice as possible, even if it may be from an MT without kids. Please keep us posted, and best of luck to you.

Is it just me or does the fuel surcharge for speeders sound like another way to raise taxes? nm [2008-07-13]
x

Excellent point - love that !! nm [2008-06-23]
x

The way I see it (and lived it) the biological parent [2008-06-09]
needs to step up to the plate and handle things. I'm sure of the woman who started this post had a husband that backed her up, she wouldn't be nearly as upset. I'VE LIVED/AM LIVING THROUGH THIS and my stepchild live with us 100% of the time (husband had custody). Sweet and first but things turned sour quickly. And guess what? My husband did very little in terms of taking care of his son, forcing him to be accountable for his behavior, etc. In turn, I ended up being the heavy and HATED for it (still am, and he's an adult now). I was very young when I married my husband and didn't know what I was in for, just as the OP. You think, how can this sweet child be anything but good? You honestly have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Especially when other people will tell you that they CAN make step-families work. I think they work when/if the biological parent is firm with the child and sets the boundaries for that child, and the stepparent doesn't have to. It's so difficult. I really feel for the orig poster.

You all sound like excellent parents [2008-06-05]
I don't have any kids myself and I was reading all your posts and you all sound like very good parents (the kind I would want to have if I was growing up). Sounds like times have changed since I was a teenager (lets see....over 30 years ago - ugh!!!!), but I do agree that parents have to know what's going on in their kids lives. I see a lot of horrible things in the news of troubled kids (school shootings, bullies and stuff, kids into drugs, or kids being mean and all the other stuff that goes on) and always wonder if their parents knew what they were up too.

Thanks! Excellent website! Unfortunately, I've [2008-06-02]
plastic sheet (my cat PREFERS plastic, so it attracts her), and the hamster bedding. Considering the amount of litter I go through in a week, the hamster bedding may be a bit pricey, but at this point anything is worth a try. One thing I should point out is that she used to poo in the box, and pee on the floor. Recently she's begun to do the opposite. Things I've done include: - Vet: Blood & urine done, no evidence of infection or kidney problems. - Crate training. (Effective for a while, but not forever. She's on her 4th crating session right now.) - I'm anal about the litter boxes - scoop them out (I have FOUR!) every time I walk past & see something in them. - Currently using Feliway Comfort Zone, don't see any improvement. - If I stand there and watch her, I can say in your box, and she'll use it. The minute I leave the room, though, or in the middle of the night, then she's back to messing on the floor at night. She is currently being crated all night so that I don't have to spend the first hour of every morning cleanin up after her. - Re: Stress, it's probably a factor. She's a naturally tense & wary cat. (Adopted from a rescue, which she ended up in because of her litter problem. Original owner was going to euthanize her at the age of 1 year, & vet called rescue.) - I don't use ammonia-containing cleansers on the floor (ammonia encourages repeat offenses), but do use vinegar alternating with Nature's Miracle For Cats. - Have tried tossing out older cat boxes and replacing with brand-new ones. Have also tried using a VERY big box for more elbow room, but she liked that the least. - Have been using rewards when I see her even set foot in the box. It works, but only when I'm there watching. She's a wiley little devil. Another thing I haven't tried yet (because of the expense, and also because the Feliway has proven to be a bust) is something like Prozac. Has anyone out there tried an SSRI for their floor-peeing cat? Did you find it effective?

Large garden containers = excellent idea! :) [2008-05-31]
.

You sound very selfish. [2008-05-28]
You wouldn It My mother had two hips and two knees done and I helped her every time all while working on-site part-time and at home part-time with two little ones. Well, she died 2 years ago, and I miss her so. My kids miss her more. I only wish I could have her interrupt me one more time so I could thank you for all she's done.

that doesn't sound very positive!! [2008-05-14]
x

No kidding. Some of these people sound like they live in a third world country. [2008-05-12]
I honestly can barely believe some of the stuff you people are posting. If you are struggling that much you should find a new job.

i am not even a parent, but [2008-05-11]
i have been blown away by the violent video games, trashy clothes and rude behavior of children and the parents who allow this. kudos to you! what you are doing is wonderful. keep it up.

You sound like an excellent parent [2008-05-11]
I do not have any children, but having grown up with parents who sound just like you I am grateful for what they did for me. I didn't have what every other kid had and I had to earn what I did get. We were involved in girl scouts and my mom was the leader of our troop. She was involved in everything we did and she did not believe in using activities as a babysitter. For babysitting she hired a girl down the road. So I am grateful to have the parents I had (mom's gone but dad is still alive). They instilled values in me and if I ever had kids I would raise them the same exact way my parents raised me. So good for you and I know when your kids are grown with kids of their own they'll remember what you did for them and will be thankful to you. I wish more parents were like you (my sister could take some lessons for sure - but that's a whole nother post).

Please tell me I am not the only parent to feel this way [2008-05-10]
I am a mother of 3 children a boy 18, a girl 11, and a boy 5. In my home, driving is not a right of passage, it is a privilege. You must obey house rules, keep your grades up, and you have to purchase your own vehicle. You must also have a job to pay for insurance and gas, as we are not a bank or an ATM machine at your disposal. If you cannot follow the above, umm sorry Am I the only parent out there with children that sees no point in cell phones for kids, especially for the younger ones. I swear most of the kids my daughter Am I one of the few who monitors what their children watch on TV? Am I the only parent that makes their children earn time for video games and then has a set time limit for it when they do get to play? Am I the only mother in the world who thinks its horrible to let your daughter run around in clothing with words across the behind?? Seriously who do you think is looking at this and why do you want to draw attention to your child Ooohhh ya and all the parents who sign their kids up for little league things and dump and run. These practices and events are not free babysitting!!! I honestly know of a few mothers that take their daughters to gymnastics and leave them there and go down to the bar and grill and have a few drinks while they wait for their kids! Okay, so I know it sounds like I am whining, but I have had enough! I am tired of being told by other parents that I am a prude, I need to catch up to the times, and the one I hate most of all is our kids need us to be their friends! I have a responsibility to my children to RAISE them. My children and I all have good relationships. We talk about everything under the sun. They come to me with most of their troubles or questions and know they have nothing to fear, I will hear anything and answer them openly and honestly. That can be done without letting the tail wag the dog so to speak. Are ppl to busy or so self-absorbed anymore to take the time to raise their children?

i think that's an excellent idea. Nobody should pay for your [2008-04-24]
x

My husband told me I sound like a you know what when I yell. . sm [2008-04-20]
He said he just couldnJeff, it Then he would yell at them! I can't believe how well it is working!

PMS/PMDD and perimenopause... [2008-08-29]
With my PMS/PMDD I get very irritable, angry, and very uninhibited! I used to get really...almost violent...throw things, etc. Prozac for 2 weeks of the month helped tremendously! For the perimenopause, I get sooooo tired, almost lethargic. I could literally sleep for 24 hours or more if my husband wasn I can It I tried progesterone cream from the doctor but that didn I feel like it gets worse every month. I can Can Anyone know of help for that? Caffeine doesn Tried one of those 5 hour energy drinks and was sound asleep within 10 minutes. Even tried one of my son If I don't figure something out soon I'm afraid they're going to fire me!

You should try to record it [2008-08-28]
Without him knowing of course. You'd treasure it for life and it would be a great gift for him one year when he's an adult. My mom and dad have movies of us when we were little and I love them. Just wish it had sound.

Our ChowChow was like that too - [2008-08-28]
Our kids were older when we had him but he was very protective of the kids. Didn't matter if they were ours or not. When they were here, he felt they were his responsibility and he wasn't about to let anyone get between him and the kids if he didn't know who coming into the yard. It was really strange that if he was out there with the kids and a parent showed up to pick up their kid, it was as if he knew them already, even if he had never seen them before. I guess he could sense that one of his precious kids belonged to the parent or something. He was a good doggy too.

Hmmm.... [2008-08-27]
I think that is a weird attitude to have toward your child. Unfortunately, he is going to be out there is society doing thesebehaviorsthat make him so intolerable at home. It is your responsibility as his parent to ensure that he is fit for society so that he can be accepted and successful. Kicking him out on the road when he I have a 19-year-old and there were days that I was counting down until hewent awayto college, but no matter what, he He is actually starting to act like a human this year, so there is hope. Just make sure you keep your heart open to him and not just wish he was gone. He can feel that from you and will resent you for it. You only get to dothis once, so do your best, not just enough to get him by until he I don Beleive me, I have also had my moments that I was more than harsh with my son, but make sure you give a lot of love too.

First off, I was very upset when I wrote [2008-08-26]
the original post. Sending my son to a boys I don I mean a facility that can help to retrain him if I can I love my son very much. I would rather suffer the pains and guilt of having to send him to a reformity, then to watch him grow up into someone who would hurt someone else and ruin the rest of his life. I love all of my children equally. Secondly, when I took my child to the child psychologist, I had several visits with him first to see if there was something I was doing wrong. I continued to attend each session with my child, including private sessions for myself after his meeting with my son. Thirdly, your comments were not helpful, just nasty, and that Anyone who Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to do just that.

Same situation [2008-08-26]
...except I am a single parent. I have a 10 year old who was arguing with teachers and classmates and fighting almost daily. He also started to be disrespectful at home and when I would send him to his room for punishment, he would kick and throw things around in his room while mumbling under his breath as well as blatently yelling at me. The second episode of kicking and throwing things, I told him to stop or I would call the police. I was downstairs and eventually heard something break. I was very angry at this point. I ran upstairs to his room (wanted him to hear me running) and I forcfully opened his door (was glad to see that he looked startled). Very angrily, I told him that if I heard one more noise from his room, I would call the police. I told him to clean up the mess from the item he broke. He told me he wasn't going to clean up anything. I called the police. The police arrived. After I explained to him the long list of problems I had been having with him, the policeman gave him a speech for about 30 minutes...asking him questions along the way to keep him engaged. He said all of the usual things that any adult outsider would say to your kid. This worked for about 3 weeks...then back to the same. After a terrible morning of him lying about something and being sent to his room for punishment, he started the same throwing, kicking, talking back routine. I politely pulled his suitcase into the hallway. I entered his room and began removing his clothing from his closet and placing them into the suitcase. I told him to go put his dirty clothes in front of the washer so I could wash them. I calmly told him that I was not going to put up with his crap anymore and that I was going to take him to the intake office for foster care. I told him that while he was in foster care I would be inviting his cousins over to enjoy his xbox, model cars, CDs, DVDs, etc. I told him that it was going to be nice having kids around who are respectful and appreciative of my love/affection and other things that I could offer them. He did not say a word. While those clothes were washing, I did not hear a peep out of him. When I put the clothes into the dryer, he said, I don I told him, sorry...I have no choice....told him I was sick of having a house that was always filled with turmoil. Told hi that since he seems to be unable to control himself and cannot disrespect the mother who works so hard to take care of him and tries so hard to love and support him....he has to go. He says...please don't send me to foster care. I told him I would give him one more chance. I told him that his suitcase would remain packed and that he was to get dressed each day out of that suitcase and that whenever clothes were washed he would place them back into the suitcase. This happened in April. He is still getting dressed out of that suitcase. You would not believe the difference this has made. He still lies and when he is caught he is sent to his room, but now there is not kicking or throwing things...there is no talking back. He just lies quietly on his bed reading a book or fiddling with one of his little gadgets. After an hour or so (because he is taking his punishment like a normal person should) I tell him that he can now come out of his room if he is willing to apologize for lying and admit that he lied. Long story short...the packed suitcase has done the trick. He knows that I am serious. He now understands that if he breaks the rules he will be punished. He understands that his behavior while he is being punished has a major impact on the length of his punishment. It is sad that he has to get dressed out of a suitcase, but this has been very effective for us.

He's fighting again today. [2008-08-26]
This time with his younger brother because he doesn His younger brother isalmost 6 and he gets bored easily with video games. Once again, when he got mad, he resorted to violence by kicking his younger brother in his side. It left a red mark. He I didn I told him what the consequences were when he did something like this, ie serious injury to his brother, possible juvy hall for him, and how it can lead to worse things as he gets older. He just doesn I really wanted to fan his @ss, but what would that teach him? Just that violence begets violence. Why does he have to react so intensely? Why can My other 2 children don That That if I were a bad parent, which I definitely think at times, then all 3 of my children would act out, but they don Just him. He He goes to the youth church camps and has no problems whatsoever. He knows right from wrong, he just doesn It I think it Maybe family counseling or something. I know there I spend a lot of time with my kids. All summer long, I We do a lot together as a family and the 2 older ones get to go a lot of places with other people. My children are not neglected in any way. My husband spends a lot of time in the evenings with them, especially the 8-year-old. We know that he demands more attention and we try to give that to him, but this is getting exhausting. I know everyone here has been trying to help and I appreciate that. More than anything, I just need a place to vent. I think it I Maybe there is something to that. It seems to be true in animals. Again, thanks for letting me vent and offering up suggestions or insight. I do appreciate it.

foods [2008-08-26]
I think you may be on to something with the diet - I worked with someone once who also had 3 boys and the youngest had some behavior probs that sound similar to your son's. . She changed his diet - cut out sugar and some other things (can't remember what) and she said he was like a completely different child. . It sounds nearly impossible that diet could make that much difference, but maybe it does. . I also agree you should keep searching for a counselor/psychiatrist until you find one that can help.

Gone Country [2008-08-26]
I have been watching Gone Country... I didn't see it at all last season, but one of my friends told me to start watching it this season since Sebastian Bach is on it (he used to be the lead singer of a rock band called Skid Row back in the 80s ~ I had such a huge crush on him back then!! LOL!) What is up with Sean Young?!?!?!? I really doncuckoo like that in real life? Has she ever done any singing before? (it sure doesn't sound like it!)

While I agree that...sm [2008-08-26]
some ADHD children have difficulty in school, not all do. There are some who are extremely high achievers academically. My son, in particular, is not. He has struggled in school his whole life. He usually does not feel remorse for what he has done unless he has caused significant injury and then he usually blames it on something or someone else never ever, ever taking responsibility. He swears uncontrollably and calls his sister and brother all kinds of filthy swear names. Not all ADHD children are built the same. What may be for one child, may not be for the other. I had a girlfriend whose son was ADHD. He was mouthy, disrespectful, impulsive, and incredibly difficult to handle. However, he didnHey, they made me mad so they deserved it. It is kind of like a double whammy for parents of these kids. First, they hit, punch, slap, punch walls, etc., and then when you try to punish them, they get even worse. I, too, have tried spanking and the only time it ever seems to work is when I come unglued at my seams, but not necessarily getting physical with him. Everywhere we go as a family or just me and the kids is a battle to end all battles. There is excruciating fighting (fist fighting sometimes) in the car so bad that sometimes they shake the car all over the street, at the malls, fist fights in Wal-Mart (always with him as the instigator), fist fights at grocery stores, fighting and loud swearing at the beach or at someoneMom, love you. Like my husband, when he is good he is the best kid you would want to be around, but when he is bad look out. It is unlike anything you have seen before in any child ever created. Best of luck to you. You are certainly not alone.

Thank you for your wonderful insight [2008-08-26]
I So much of what you say does sound like my son. I have definitely zoomed in on the impulsivity of his actions. I had brought that up to the child psychologist and he said that it I I manage the best I can and it When we go places, sometimes its good and sometimes not. It seems when we all go together, it doesn I I I feel so guilty and sorry for my son I don He doesn In fact, this week is the worst he No alkies on either side of the family (thank heavens for small blessings). Although, I do believe there is some bipolar or other type of mental illness on my side of the family (aunts, cousins). I got some real kooks for relatives. I He almost acts like it I I personally think it He Well, I can I My son is having a sleepover at his great-grandma She says she don I wish he felt that way about me. At least I can count on a peaceful morning tomorrow! Thanks again for letting me know I It helps more than you can imagine.

Dave Ramsy, The Total Money Makeover.... [2008-08-24]
His message, Live like no on else so later on you can live like no one else. Budget is not a bad word and saying no to the kids is not wrong and does not make you a bad parent.

thanks for the advise, you say some very smart things - sm [2008-08-24]
though I am really not sure about the in person thing. I am serious about trying not to be killed in this, he has threatened to kill me before over some really stupid stuff (and we have a lot of guns in this house), and as this is a major thing, and he has been through this with me before....just before we married I was $12K in the hole. I paid it all off though within weeks of the wedding and we were debt-free for about 7 years (except for mortgage). He has told me before if he ever kills me, he will kill himself too....not that this is any solace to me as I really want to live. Generally he is full of hot air, but you never know what will send a person over the edge and I think this debt may be what does it for him. There are a number of extenuating circumstances that caused the debt, it was not me alone of course. He likes to spend as he pleases and I do try to stop him as much as I can but sometimes it is not possible (unless I drop the bomb of course), family illnesses, we did private school for a while too which did not help, and just got a new used car....which we owe his parent $10K for which I am paying them $500 a month for as well which is really putting a crimp on things...but he insisted we had to get rid of my reliable truck for better gas mileage....the new car has needed $800 in repairs so far in 4 months which is just wonderful. When I do drop the bomb, probably in the next month or so, I may try to farm the kids out to friends houses then give him a letter with all the dirty details and the possible solutions. I think having it all down in writing will help some. I know there will be tears on both sides, and my stress level will plummet once it is off my chest. I notice my skin problems act up when we are short on cash, then clear when we get a paycheck. I am sure my BP is jumping about and I cannot lose weight no matter how hard I try too, though I think that is a mechanism to keep him away from me as much as possible. Needless to say it is a total mess.

I realize this is a private matter, but [2008-08-24]
is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him. Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him. Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first. Again, I wouldn Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out. If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate. I would not tell this man alone in person. It doesna safe thing to do.

credit debt [2008-08-24]
Wow thanks for all the good tips. As this got off the subject and onto other things, I just wanted to say I have heard Al-Anon is excellent for people dealing with alcoholism in a spouse or other loved one. It might be a great place for support for you and your kids. Just a thought.

I understand it is different in every family [2008-08-13]
some spouses just state their plans without thinking of other.....have a brother like that. DH would never dream of leaving us on a holiday. As a matter of fact he quit hunting the fall our first child was due in Novemeber...just in case. DS was actucally born on Thanksgiving Day. My brother-in-law always goes hunting on Thanksgiving but makes it back in time for dinner. Our Thanksgiving is usually quite hectic. We used to watch the parade (kids are now teens and want to sleep in) while I prepared food to take to my parents or grandparents for lunch and then went to DH family for dinner. I only have to cook a couple of dishes for each meal...never the same ones so I can double a recipe, and I don't mind that to terribly, but I have to clean up 2 major meals after both times feeling stuffed to the gills. This year my parents are going to NY to see the parade, my grandparents are going to my uncle's house, and all we will be doing is going to DH family for dinner. I am actucally looking forward to this. We do the same thing for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. On Christmas Day we go to MIL house in the morning to open gifts....this started after her DH died 18 years ago and we didn't want her to be alone on Christmas morning. We then have brunch and make a mad rush to my parent's for lunch. I would then see my mother (God rest her soul) and then back to my MIL for dinner. Would love to complain about going to MIL twice in one day, but DH sister would still go without us and I would be the bad DIL, just not worth it. I say go to your parents if at all possible, or spend the day watching the parade with your son, decorating, and making Christmas treats. Or to heck with keeping the peace....just put your foot down and tell DH he will be home for Thanksgiving! Good luck to you.

That one tiniest girl looks like even 14 is a stretch - more like 10! [2008-08-13]
melanine in wheat gluten meant for pet food, wouldn't have any problem at all, I'm sure, falsifying age documents if it means getting a gold medal, especially in THEIR OWN COUNTRY. The ambition to look good in the eyes of the world and their own country, not to mention the fact that how EASY would it be to get away with it in their own country as opposed to another country, and I'd be very, very surprised if all of those girls aren't underage. Of course, I applaud them on their excellent performances - they kicked our butts yesterday. But if that government truly does yank the kids out of school at 3 to be forced to be gymnasts, then it's possible the girls themselves don't even know their true ages. Might have been lied to about their ages as soon as they showed Olympic potential.

My daughter has a gameboy advance [2008-08-11]
with some of the old style atari games like pacman, pole position and galaga. We Once I get halfway decent at the game we

Why don't you be a mom and take care of your daughter until she is an adult? sm [2008-08-07]
Boyfriend, spoiled, blah, blah. You are her parent. You need to provide her a place to live until she is old enough to do so herself. I would either allow her to move in with you and your boyfriend or I would rent her a place to live. She is not old enough to be expected to find a roommate and pay all her own bills yet. If you had done your job to begin with she wouldn't be spoiled or having such issues.

What's her reason for moving out of dad's house? [2008-08-07]
I think that is a big factor. Is this something she does from time to time because she doesn't like the rules or gets in an argument? Or do you think she just misses you and wants to spend time with you? Do you think she plans on getting her own place at 18, going away to college, or staying on for awhile? I think that matters too. If this is habitual or temporary, she can tough it out (as long as it's not an abusive situation). Life isn't easy as an adult and she will be finding that out very soon either way. You aren't a bad parent because you want her to be independent and not think everything is owed to her. The sooner she learns that, the better off she will be.

Actually, no, I don't know that... [2008-08-07]
I also read in her post that her daughter doesnmy parent All I'm saying is you don't have to be so hard on her right from the beginning.

Also - Talking to his parents would be of no benefit (sm [2008-08-04]
His parents do not know how to handle him. Calling their son names and telling him that his heart is dark are just making things worse. He might get punished more or yelled at more or cursed at more....that He doesn I am not a parent who believes in not disciplining their children....I believe in disciplining appropriately though. If you have witnessed and heard for yourself the things that his parents have said to him, what do you think they must say to him when no one else can hear? Also, often boys who are large for their age get treated so much more harshly by everyone around them.....suppose he was a teeny tiny little 14-year-old saying the same types of things....would you react exactly the same to him?? Because his mentality is the same as that teeny tiny 14-year-old, just in a bigger body.

Maybe try limiting contact to [2008-08-04]
just phone calls. That will let her know that you are cooling off the visitation with her but not make you look ungrateful. If she brings up never seeing the children, I would let her know politely that you thought she didnact up at her house. If DH wants to see her DH, then let him visit him alone. Is there a close neighbor or friend that could keep your girls while you visit your aunt once in a while? I take it she lives nearby if your boss has contact with her. If she asks why you didn She should get the hint pretty quickly. I definitely agree with you that she should not be pushing her discipline methods on you. You are the parent and only you and DH should have any say in how you choose to discipline your children and whether or not they even need it. I will say from experience that the previous generation seems to think we don I think a lot of that has to do with the state this country is in, but I don Afterall, our kids weren Maybe it's all the hairbrushes and flyswatters that are causing some of these problems.

Also [2008-08-04]
Check vets in your area. While this may sound like a no-brainer, it's sometimes easy to forget when feeling a bit overwhelmed. If you still run into problems, drop all of us a line here and let us all see what we can do. You might want to post this on other MT boards as well. Give your daughter my deepest respect. What a patriot!

I agree..Thank you. [2008-08-04]
You are right and I agree totallly with you. I am so at my wits end about this. My concern is for the dog as my son can hurt him as the dogs will not bite. I know people say you never know but my son has no fears of this. he has been scratched but then wants revenge and tries to hurt the dog again, even though he is the one that caused the scratch by picking up the dog or trying too. This will probably sound terrible and cause me to get yelled at this board but I think my son does need to be bitten, my dogs are fully vaccinated, just so he knows the consequences from the dog. These dogs are so laid back though that it is just ridiculous how laid back they are. I am totally frustrated and tired. I just don He is normally such a great kid, loving and everything. Recently it has gotten more aggressive. I LOVE my son to death I just don't know the correct way with dealing with this situation. If I knew anything to do, I would no way be posting this on a MT board. I am desperate.